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Author Topic: Isoto, Cor'hm, Warrior  (Read 12128 times)
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Isoto
The Widow
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Elf, Cor'hm


« on: August 10, 2007, 01:09:21 PM »

Name: Isoto

Gender: Male

Age: 295 (appears 35, training 50)

Race: Elf

Tribe: Cor'hm

Occupation: Warrior

Title: The Widow

Height: 1 Ped, 3 fores

Weight: 1 pygges, 7 hebs

Physical Appearance:
Isoto, being a drow, has a pure white color to his skin, which is deeply contrasted by his raven black hair. Typical of the Cor'hm, his hair is long and well kept. During battle he keeps his hair up, adorned with a silver clasp bearing the Cor'hm coat of arms.

His dark black eyes have dimmed due to years of death, causing them to losing lose their once gleaming shine.

He has a small bump in his nose from an injury acquired in battle. Apart from this his face is with out blemish and as typical of his race he emits a radiant beauty that only an elf could possess.

While looking small in stature he has a surprising under tone of rock hard muscles. For his body is built and defined from years of battle. A piercing wound scars his left shoulder giving shape to what looks like a spider. Being left handed it was said his men joked around calling his left arm "The Widow", from the spider's name. The joke, however, became a fear for the enemy who also began to refer to the arm as "The Widow".

Clothing:

Isoto prefers, as do most Cor'hm, war faring armor to the comfort of street clothes. He is adorned with an armor called Lamallar. The make of this armor is stripped harden linen, leather and a thin sheet of bronze. The armor, while light, is also very resilient to piercing attacks and is favored among his clan. The bronze is blackened and fitted with the silver crest of the Cor'hm.

His arms are protected by silver gauntlets bearing the honored snake and his fingers are covered by gloves made of black leather. His legs are fitted with glossed black leather and his shins are protected by a black steel boots. The boots are lined with softened leather for comfort and shock absorption.

His armor is covered by a black cloak lined and adorned in silver. The cloak drapes to the ground and nips the floor with raveled black linen and silver. The cloak completely covers his armor and is held together with a silver clasp in the design of a spider. The spider's eyes are adorned with blood red gems of garnet. The cloak is only completed by the hood, a hood used to hide the dimmed eyes of a worn fighter.

Personality:

Isoto has somberness to his presence, a quiet worn look to his personality. Years of war and death have hardened him to his own emotions. For, in the Cor'hm tribe, emotions show weakness and flaw and if you are weak you are a target for attack. The Cor'hm must have each member strong and ready, for if even one falters it could mean annihilation for the clan. Now, while hardened, Isoto has a light hearted sense of humor and those lucky enough to be called friend would experience it first hand. Unfortunately, the death of all his clan members had stifled any feelings of joy or happiness, leaving only a shell of his former self.

Isoto was once able to put his trust in others, but that is a thing of the past and now he only trusts in himself and his faithful familiar can he find trust. For trust is a thing hard to build and when a man allows no one to get close it is impossible to achieve. He is hard but not unsociable, in his younger days Isoto was quite the talker and some remnants of this still remain. So it is possible for one to coax an enlightening conversation from this elf.

Having been raised as a leader and a warrior, Isoto's mind was keened from military studies and hand on battles. His sharp mind is only complemented by his ability to think quickly. The combination of speed and brilliance of his thoughts makes Isoto a perfect candidate for militaryl leadership; making him a force to be reckoned with. While quick with ideas, Isoto is slow to speak. He believes that battles are not only one through force but through diplomacy. Choosing his words carefully, Isoto only says what he means. This is the fruit of his aged wisdom.

As mentioned earlier, Isoto is bound to his traditions of honor. Putting his life before that of his comrades is one of the main reasons he had commanded so much respect from his soldiers. In his code of honor death was the ultimate achievement, but only a worthy death would do. Retreat and surrender was unheard of. He will fight until his bitter end.

Strength:

Swift: Isoto is surprisingly quick on his feet and has lighting fast reflexes.

Short Sword: In his years of battle Isoto has become a master at wielding a sword. His many years have made him one of the best swords men the Cor'hm can offer.

Daggers: Along with his sword, Isoto has mastered the art of using the dagger. Able to use both in a joint fashion that results in a deadly combination.

Well educated in languages: Isoto has spent many hours studying most major languages of Caelereth. He would then use these languages as codes with in his clan. Thergerim (not a pure dialect but a trade language, still useful), Kh'omchr'om, Styrash.

Instruments: Isoto can also play the flute. After a day of fighting Isoto enjoy lightening up the mood with light hearted tunes and fast beats.

Chingu: a dark colored wolf Isoto rescued from a trap on his endless search for inner peace. The wolf seems ever grateful and protective towards its master.

Weakness:

Gruff: after the death of his comrades Isoto shut himself off. Preferring to keep to himself Isoto does not mean to be rude but can come of that way to strangers.

No goal in life: Having extracted his revenge Isoto wanders in search of nothing. He has no drive and no will to live. This lack of drive will more than likely lead him to his death bed. For he is more than willing to put his life in unneeded danger.

Pride: While Isoto has no drive to live, he is very prideful in the ways that he was raised. This is probably the sole thing that keeps him from killing himself. Isoto being of the Cor'hm takes much pride in his heritage and will fight until his last breath with no retreat and no surrender.

Bad shoulder: A spear wounded to Isoto's left shoulder, leaving a spider shaped scar. The wound also left his shoulder sensitive to the weather. During storms it will stiffen up. And with his left arm being dominant it is hard for him to fight effectively.

Alcoholic: Isoto favors a stiff drink, or two or three. He does not know when to stop so his body will just shut down when he reaches his limit.

Stubborn: With age Isoto has become very stubborn. Once Isoto makes up his mind not even Co'or himself can change Isoto's mind. This will tend to put Isoto in very complex situations.

Fire: Having watched his home and every thing he loved burned; fire will sometimes bring up these painful emotions.

History: Isoto's birth was that of a normal Cor'hm. He was raised in the art of war, taught to fight with his head and his fellow clan members. He was taught to take pride in his clan, the clan of the "Crimson Xiphos". Xiphos was the name they gave to their hand crafted swords. Isoto was a quick study and soon learned the ways of Cor'hm warfare.

As he grew he found himself quite interested in the languages of other cultures and races. He purchased anything he could find from traveling merchants. He also found joy in playing instruments to entertain his men around the camp fire.

Isoto, having proved his valor and wit, was quickly promoted to a squad leader. He was given ten Cor'hm under his direct command. Isoto only wanted to commanded elite soldiers. So for months he trained his soldiers and once they were ready they would become the iron hammer of the Crimson Xiphos. They would later be known as Death Widows.

Now his clan was small but feared for their power and Isoto only lead the best. And Isoto proved this on his first mission. The squad had finally completed its training and they were eager to test the skill they had learned in a battle. A scout had reported a small tangent of about five rival Cor'hm advancing on the outskirts of the Crimson Xiphos's territory.

Isoto was ecstatic, it was their first mission. It was time to test out their training. All they had done and all they were rested on this mission. So Isoto and his team set out on a simple territorial purge soon to find out they were in for the ultimate test of skill.

They reached the intruding clan and, with a silent fist in the air, Isoto stopped his forward movement. With a silent signal, his troops spread. Poised for a strike, Isoto felt odd. Something wasn't right with the situation. Why was it such a small group of Cor'hm? It was like they were asking to be attacked.

He signalied his men to regroup, he searched the battle ground for any sign of foul play. Turning to his best archer, he signaled him to launch an arrow in the under brush. The loosed arrow causes a flood of hidden Cor'hm to show their cowardly faces. As Isoto had thought, it was an ambush. From the looks of it, there were about thirty fighters. Then their plan became clear to Isoto. They were going to draw out an attack force to stop the intruders. Then once ready to attack, they would swarm the elves and destroy them. This would have caused their tribe to have lost an attack squad, giving the intruders a number advantage. So the intruders would have then invaded and conquered the other clan.

Isoto was glad he had regrouped, but now he had a new problem... they were surrounded and were poised to wipe them out. Isoto knew that if this were to happen his clan would be annihilated. Isoto had to think of a plan and to think of one quick. He was outnumbered three to one and he was surrounded. Isoto thought, in the trees they had to worry about attacks from not only below but above. Quickly scanning, Isoto finds the forests clearing only a few hundred yards away. "Voinrath kaommerons," a dwarven command to flee the forest. Isoto's lust for languages had finally paid off. He had taught his men very basic commands that he had composed. Utilizing this Isoto makes a dead break for the end of the forest.

Co'or had smiled down on them; they had managed to flee to the open field. Isoto turned to his men and, with almost no thought ordered a diamond formation. "Diamond formation, diamond formation." Isoto barks waving his men into position. "Two deep men." Isoto yelled and without hesitation, his men formed a perfect defensive formation. Six elves made up the outer diamond and four made up the inner diamond. This was their best shot at defending themselves.

No sooner than they had formed up Isoto notices a wave of arrows crashing down towards them. "Arq'u," an orkish word that he had tweaked to mean 'defensive stance'. And at his command his men covered themselves, their diamond formation covering them all from the rain of arrows. "K'arq," another orkish word that Isoto tweaked to mean attack stance. Lowering their shields the prepared to fight and, if need be to die. The invading elves had used the arrow barrage to quickly make their way to the small group of defenders. "You die here today you Xiphos scum die. And then your clan will follow. Your death will be our gain."

"Steady men" Isoto yelled "Men remember we fight not for ourselves but for our clan, for our families. And that is our true strength, our desire to protect those we love, now lets kill these bastards." Isoto braced as they are surrounded by their enemy, and he knew that if their formation faltered then they will be destroyed.

The intruders crashed against their shields from all sides but using each other they maintained their formation. And, with a group effort, they show them their strength. As the intruders tried to break through the wall of bronze and muscle, Isoto's troops where attacking from both above and below. As the front line stabbed from above the back line stabbed from below, making quick work of the enemy. "Men push" Isoto yelled and with extreme force and as one unit the men shove their shields forward. The wall of bronze pushes back the enemy line giving the attackers a brief second to raise shield and stab. Enemy Cor'hm fell left and right, and seeing their inevitable defeat, the call of retreat was sounded. And the enemy fled.

As the cowards flee a solider looks in awe, not a single man in Isoto's command had fallen. Filled with joy the soldiers "Sir, we won, against all odds we defeated them." The men rejoice but their leader was deep in thought. "Men, we won and yes it was an amazing victory, but now we will send all Cor'hm a message. One saying that if you mess with the Crimson Xiphos you will lose everything. We will burn their homes to the ground." Moving silently, the group tracked the battered intruders back to their home. Having been severely beaten, the clan of the Blood Skulls put up almost no resistance. Breaking off into three groups of three, Isoto's men attacked the remaining intruders. Isoto watched as the village burned and all he could find himself to do was to laugh. Marveling at the strength and valor his men fought with, Isoto notices an image fleeing in the distance. It was the cowardly Ruhn of the village.

"He will not escape our furry." Isoto, having used his incredible speed, chased down the Ruhn. Having engaged his enemy, Isoto prepared to fight. As a group he was invincible but alone, that was a different story.Now he prayed that his own traing was sufficant enough. Unsheathing his sword, Isoto began a barrage of well aimed strikes, only to be met with spear blocks. The Ruhn thrust forward and Isoto moved only to feel the spear shave off a lock of hair. "He's good," looking up; Isoto is slashed by a spinning spear attack. "Uh, he's real good." Isoto backs into a defensive stance to assets the fight. But as he locks his stance he begins to feel light headed. "Ugh, that spear must have been poisoned, coward fights with no honor." Isoto knew that if he were to lose consciousness he would defiantly die so in a desperation attack Isoto waits to strike. Seeing his enemy falter the run charges, Isoto seeing his chance garbs the spear and runs it through his shoulder. Grabbing the shaft, he plunged the spear in deeper, pulling the Ruhn on to his sword. Stabbing it deep he riped it out, the hooked end pulls out the Ruhns intestine. "You lose," Isoto laughs as he fades into darkness.

Isoto awoke a couple of days later sore and with a splitting headache, but still alive. Amazed by this he is later informed that he was carried back to the village by his men and an antidote was created. It was then Isoto and his men wrought an unbreakable bond with one another.

Over the many decades Isoto's skill grew, as did his knowledge, and he eventually was given the title Ruhn. But it was short lived, the largest Cor'hm clan in all of Nybelmar, the Blood Letter, began to take notice on this small clan. They were strong, too strong and they posed a threat. So, using their massive influence gathered and army ten times the size of the clan, to stamp out all remainders of this threat.

The war cry came in the dead of the night; the Crimson Xiphos were taken by surprise. They fought valiantly, they fought with honor but most importantly they fought for each other. But fate was not kind this night, although they slaughtered many, they were finally over taken. Every last one. After having set fire to everything, the handful of mercenaries retreated believing they had accomplished their mission. Isoto hazily awoke, having only been knocked out, to his village... his life, burning. He turned and fought his way through flames looking for survivors but there are none to be found.

Isoto was now alone, only his hatred kept him company. So over the next few decades he slowly hunted down the surviving assassins and gave them a taste of vengeance. The odd thing was that most of his information came from the very clan that had hired the assassins. Apparently, feeling the threat gone, the Blood Letters took joy in Isoto's lust for blood.

But now his fighting days are over, he wanders alone, save for his pet wolf. A wolf that he had helped out of a trap and that has never left his side since he named it Chingu, or friend in Thergerim. So alone he travels, long tired of battles, only longing for death. But something keeps him going, keeps him alive. His will and his honor are all that fill this now empty shell. So perhaps in Sarvonia he will find the one thing he truly seeks... a reason to live.

Weapons:

Xiphos: The sword is of a special design used only by the Cor'hm of his tribe. The sword is narrow and gets broader as it gets near the tip. The broader portion swoops into a hook designed intimidate he enemy. The broadened tip allows the sword to gain maximum force when swung.

Jh'vai Dagger: Isoto uses these as a last resort tactical weapon. They are located in his silver gauntlets and are most useful if he has been disarmed.

Dori: The Dori is a wooden shield covered with hardened leather and blackened bronze. The back of the shield has a leather strap made for arm support. And the handle is placed to the side for added leverage. His shield is adorned with the drawing of a silver spider.

Belongings: His weapons, money, a canteen, and a blanket are all this man possesses.

Familiar: Chingu, a dark colored wolf Isoto rescued from a trap on his endless search for inner peace. The wolf seems ever grateful and protective towards its master.


« Last Edit: September 05, 2007, 01:12:18 AM by Kalna Mrnwn » Logged

"I'm tired and you're in my way"

~Isoto~

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Isoto
The Widow
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Elf, Cor'hm


« Reply #1 on: August 13, 2007, 06:36:44 AM »

Im open for comments
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~Isoto~

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Inkear
Ts'el
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Cat, Wilderon


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« Reply #2 on: August 13, 2007, 06:52:37 AM »

Sorry, you need history... strengths and weaknesses. Change that posticon back to a pencil.
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Isoto
The Widow
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Elf, Cor'hm


« Reply #3 on: August 13, 2007, 11:21:53 AM »

I meant on the things I have completed
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~Isoto~

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Kalna Dal'isyrs
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« Reply #4 on: August 13, 2007, 11:23:10 AM »

People will comment even with the pencil is up, but do not change it to the exclamation point until you have completed the entirety of your description.

Thank you
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Insanity is only a perception made by those who have yet to attain its greatness. While those of us who have already stepped inside its bounds find bliss in our utter madness.
Nai'r en'Lina ar'Kaimel
Nox Echiiscuan
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« Reply #5 on: August 13, 2007, 12:43:46 PM »

I've got time. So I'm going to comment on a few minor things. Everything I tell you will be optional and whether or not you take my suggestions or not is entirely up to you. Unfortunately, I've only got time to point out a few quick things that I saw while scanning it.

Now, lets begin. ^_^

---

Quote
His dark black eyes have dimmed with years of death losing their one gleaming shine.
This sentence doesn't quite make sense. You might want to consider rephrasing it.


Quote
His body is built and defined from years of battle. While looking small he has a surprising under tone of rock hard muscles.
These two sentences contradict each other. First you say that he is built, then you say that he is small with a surprising undertone of muscles.


Quote
For in the Coorhem emotions show weakness and flaw. And if you are weak you are a target for death.
I think that you should combine these two sentences into one since right now they're both fraction sentences. Incomplete thoughts, in other words. Also, the phrase "you are a target for death" doesn't quite make sense to me. Perhaps you mean "you are a target for attack"?


Quote
Isoto was once able to put his trust in other who he deemed worthy but that is a thing of the past only himself and his faithful familiar can he find trust.
This sentence doesn't quite make sense. I understand what you're trying to say in this sentence, but it's not very clear. Mainly, I think, the problem is that the grammer is incorrect. Consider rewording it just a touch.

--

So! That's all I could find so far in the scan over that I did of your profile. So far you're doing good. Right now, though, I think that you should mainly focus on writing all the sections out. Then, later, you can go back through and fix any grammer and spelling errors. I wish you the best in the creation of your CD!

Have a nice night
~Nox
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Isoto
The Widow
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Elf, Cor'hm


« Reply #6 on: August 13, 2007, 01:04:21 PM »

Het thank you for scanning over it I will get right on the changes. And I do have one answer.

Quote
These two sentences contradict each other. First you say that he is built, then you say that he is small with a surprising undertone of muscles.

I knida meant built for an elf (who typically aer sticks) but even though he is built his body doesnt really show it wewll, which I believe is a trait of the Coorhem.

Once again thanks for veiwing it.
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"I'm tired and you're in my way"

~Isoto~

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Nox Echiiscuan
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« Reply #7 on: August 13, 2007, 01:37:38 PM »

Oh! Alright. Yeah. I get it now. ^_^

The Coorhem usually bulk up on muscle mass, or so that's what I believe that it says in the entry. Anyway. You mean that his muscles are more compact than the usual Coor. It makes sense now.  grin

But you might was to consider a way of rephrasing those two sentences so that you don't have to explain them in order for people to understand them.   ~_^
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Isoto
The Widow
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Elf, Cor'hm


« Reply #8 on: August 16, 2007, 02:38:31 AM »

comments are still welcomed
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"I'm tired and you're in my way"

~Isoto~

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matthew
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« Reply #9 on: August 16, 2007, 06:37:33 AM »

your characters weaknesses and strenths are not balanced and you should put in more weaknesses to balance out your strenths. but the rest is pretty good. :)
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Nox Echiiscuan
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« Reply #10 on: August 16, 2007, 09:49:27 AM »

Just a quick stitch. You're strengths and weaknesses aren't balanced, but they aren't completely off kilter either. I just have a few comments here and there.

Quote
Strength:

Stealth: Isoto has the ability to move without sound and to hide himself with uot trouble.

Sword: In his years of battle Isoto has become a master sword weilder. His many years have made him one of the best swords men the Coorhem can offer.

Daggers: Along with his sword Isoto has mastered the art of the dagger. Able to use both in a joint fashion that results in a deadly combination.

Well educated in languages: Isoto has spent man hours studying most major languages of Caelerenth. He would then use these languages as codes with in his clan.

Instruments: Isoto can also play the flut and guitar. After a day of fighting Isoto enjoy lightning up the moment with light hearted tunes and fast beats.

You say that he is a pro at using both the sword and the dagger. But before then you say basically say that he is very skilled in stealth. Then you go on to say that he can speak multipul languages and play two different instruments. That's a little much, isn't it? Though he is 206 years old, elves tend to learn slower than other races that have shorter life spans.

If he is a master with swords and daggers along with being noteably efficient in stealth, then I just dont see where he could find the time to learn how to play two different instruments along with learning most of the major languages. Perhaps you could take out an instrument, pick which one you like better?
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Isoto
The Widow
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Elf, Cor'hm


« Reply #11 on: August 19, 2007, 01:19:52 PM »

ready for comments...ok let me have it *ducks and cowers waitingfor the carrnage that will be his corrections* Its fine Ican take it.
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~Isoto~

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Nox Echiiscuan
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« Reply #12 on: August 20, 2007, 12:51:10 AM »

Alright. So! All comments made are merely suggestions.

Comments will be formatted ravishing in red

Name: Isoto

Gender: Male

Age: 206 (appears 30)

Race: Elf

Tribe: Cor'hm

Occupation: Assassin

Title: The Worn Assassin

Height: 1.9 Ped

Weight: 1.7 pygges

Physical Aperance:
Isoto, being a drow, has a pure white color to his skin, which is deeply contrasted by his raven black hair. Typical of the Cor'hm. his hair is long and well kempt. During battle he keeps his hair up, adorned with a silver clasp bearing the Cor'hm coat of arms.

His dark black eyes have dimmed due years of death, causing them to losing their once gleaming shine.

He has a small bump in his nose from an injury acquired in battle. Apart from this his face is with out blemish and as typical of his race he emits a radiant beauty than only an elf could possess.

While looking small he has a surprising under tone of rock hard muscles. For his body is built and defined from years of battle. A piercing wound scars his left shoulder giving shape to what looks like a spider. Being left handed it was said his men joked around calling his left arm "The Widow", from the spider's name. The joke, however, became a fear for the enemy who also began to refer to the arm as "The Widow".

Clothing:

Isoto prefers, as do most Cor'hm, warfaring armor to the comfort of street clothes. He is adorned with an armor called Lamallar. The make of this armor is stripped harden linen, leather and a thin sheet of bronze. The armor[color=red,[/color] while light, is also very resilient to piercing attacks and is favored among his clan. The bronze is blackened and fitted with the silver crest of the Cor'hm.

His arms are protected by silver gauntllets (Surely you didn't mean 'grieves', as I don't think that his arms could be protected by sorrow. Nor do I think you meant 'greaves', as that is leg armor) bearing the honored snake. And his fingers are covered by gloves made of black leather. His legs are fitted with glossed black leather and his shins are protected by a black steel boots. The boots are lined with softened leather for comfort and shock absorption.

His armor is covered by a black cloak lined and adorned in silver. The cloak drapes to the ground and flows to the floor leaving a trail of black linen and silver(Wait... what?). The cloak completely covers his armor and is held together with a silver clasp in the design of a spider. The spider's eyes are adorned with blood red gems of garnet. The cloak is only completed by the hood, a hood used to hide the dimmed eyes of a worn fighter.

Personality:

Isoto has a somberness to his presence, a quiet worn look to his personality. Years of war and death have hardened him to his own emotions. For, in the Cor'hm tribe, emotions show weakness and flaw and if you are weak you are a target for attack. The Cor'hm must have each member strong and ready, for if even one falters it could mean inhalation for the clan. Now, while hardened, Isoto has a light hearted sense of humor and those lucky enough to be called friend would experience it first hand. Unfortunately, the death of all his clan members had stifled any feelings of joy or happiness, leaving only a shell of his former self.

Isoto was once able to put his trust in others, but only those who he deemed worthy. But that is a thing of the past and no only in himself and his faithful familiar can he find trust. For trust is a thing hard to build and when a man allows no one to get close it is impossible to achieve. He is hard but not unsociable, in his younger days Isoto was quite the talker and some remnants of this still remain. So it is possible for one to coax an enlightening conversation from this elf.

Having been raised as a leader [clolr=red]and a[/color] warrior, Isoto's mind was keened from militrial studies and hand on battles. His sharp mind is only complemented by his ability to think quickly. The combination of speed and brilliance of his thoughts makes Isoto a perfect candidate for militrial leadership. Making him a force to be reconed with. While quick with ideas, Isoto is slow to speak. He believes that battles are not only one through force but through diplomacy. Choosing his words carefully, Isoto only says what he means. This is the fruit of his aged wisdom.

As mentioned earlier, Isoto is bound to his traditions of honor. Putting his life before that of his comrades is one of the main reasons he had commanded so much respect from his soldiers. In his code of honor death was the ultimate achievement, but only a worthy death would do. Retreat and surrender was unheard of. He will fight until his bitter end.

Strength:

Stealth: Isoto has the ability to move without sound and to hide himself without trouble.

Sword: In his years of battle Isoto has become a master at wielding a sword. His many years have made him one of the best swords men the Cor'hm can offer.

Daggers: Along with his sword, Isoto has mastered the art of using the dagger. Able to use both in a joint fashion that results in a deadly combination.

Well educated in languages: Isoto has spent many hours studying most major languages of Caelerenth. He would then use these languages as codes with in his clan. (Perhaps you should name off which languages he is fluent in?)

Instruments: Isoto can also play the flute and guitar. After a day of fighting Isoto enjoy lightening up the moment[color]mood(?)[/color] with light hearted tunes and fast beats.

Weakness:

Gruff: after the death of his commrads Isoto shut himself off. Prefereing to keep to himself Isoto does not mean to be rude but can come of that way to strangers.

No goal in life: Having exactred his revenge Isoto wanders in search of nothing. He has no drive and no will to live. This lack of drive will more than likely lead him to his death bed.

Pride: While Isoto has no drive to live, he is very prideful in the ways that he was raised. This is probably the sole thing that keeps him from killing himself. Isoto being of the Cor'hm takes much pride in his heritage and will fight until his last breath with no retreat and no surrender.

Bad shoulder: A spear wounded to Isoto's left shoulder, leaving a spider shaped scar. The wound also left his shoulder sensitive to the weather. During storms it will stiffen up. And with his left arm being dominant it is hard for him to fight effectively.

History: Isoto's birth was that of a normal Cor'hm. He was raised in the art of war, taught to fight with his head and his fellow clan members. He was taught to take pride in his clan, the clan of the "Crimson Xiphos". Xiphos was the name they gave to their hand crafted swords. Isoto was a quick study and soon learned the ways of Cor'hm warfare.

As he grew he found himself quite interested in the langauges of other cultures and races. He purchased anything he could find from travling merchants. He also found joy in playing instuments to entertain his men around the camp fire.

Isoto, proving his valor and wit, was quickly promoted to a squad leader. He had ten Cor'hm under his direct command. Isoto only commanded elite soilders. So for monthes he would train his soilders and once they were ready they would become the iron hammer of the Crimson Xiphos. They would later be known as Death Widows.

Now his clan was small but feared for their power and Isoto lead the best. And Isoto proved their valor on his first mission. The squad had finally completed its training and they were eager to test the skill they had learned in a battle. A scout had reported a small tengent of about five rival Cor'hm advancing on the outsirts of the Crimson Xiphos's territory.

Isoto was estactic, it was their first mission. It was time to test out their training. All they had done and all they were rested on this mission. So Isoto and his team set out on a simple territorial purge soon to find out they were in for the ultimate test of skill.

They reached the intruding clan and, with a silent fist in the air, Isoto stops his foward movement. With a silent signal, he spreads out his troops. Poised for a strike, Isoto feels odd. Something isn't right with the situatuion. Why was it such a small group of Cor'hm? It was like they were asking to be attacked.

Signaling his men to regroup, he searches the battle ground for any sign of foul play. Turning to his best archer, he signals him to launch an arrow in the under brush. Shooting the arrow causes a flood of hidden Cor'hm to show their cowardly faces. As Isoto thought, it was an ambush. From the looks of it, there were about thirty fighters. Then their plan became clear to Isoto. They were going to draw out an attack force to stop the intruders. Then once ready to attack, they would swarm the elves and destroy them. This would have caused their tribe to have lost an attack squad, giving the intuders a number advantage. So the intruders would then invade and conquer the other clan.

Isoto was glad he had regrouped, but now he had a new problem... they were surronded and were poised to wipe them out. Isoto knew that if this were to happen his clan would be annihilated. Isoto had to think of a plan and to think of one quick. He was outnumbered three to one and he was surronded. Isoto thought, in the trees they had to worry about attacks from not only below but above. Quickly scanning, Isoto finds the forests clearing only a few hundred yards away. "Voinrath kaommerons," a dwarven command to flee the forest. Isoto's lust for launguges had finally paid off. He had tought his men very basic commands that he had composed. Utilizing this Isoto makes a dead break for the end of the forest.

Coor had smiled down on them, they had mangaged to flee to the open field. Isoto turned to his men and, with almost no thought orderd a diamond formation. "Diamond formation, diamond formation." Isoto barks waving his men into positon. "Two deep men." Isoto yelled and without hesitation, his men formed a perfect defensive formation. Six elves made up the outer diamond and four made up the inner diamond. This was their best shot at defending themsleves.

No sooner than they had formed up Isoto notices a wave of arrows crashing down towards them. "Arq'u," an orkish word that he had tweaked to mean 'defensive stance'. And at his comand his men covered themselves, their dimaond formation covering them all from the rain of arrows. "K'arq," another orkish word that Isoto tweaked to mean attack stance. Lowering their shields the prepared to fight and, if need be to die. The invading elves had used the arrow barrage to quickly make their way to the small group of defenders. You die here today you Xiphos scum die. And then your clan will follow. Your death will be our gain.

"Steady men" Isoto yells "Men remember we fight not for ourselves but for our clan, for our families. And that is our true stregth, our desire to protect those we love, now lets kill these bastards." Isot braces as they are surrounded by their enemy, and he knows that if their formation falters then they will be destroyed.

(In this paragraph, you changed to first person when, just in the previous paragraph, you had been speaking in third.) The intruders crash against their shields from all sides but using each other they maintained their formation. And, with a group effort, they show them their strength. As the intruders tried to break through the wall of bronze and muscle, Isoto's troops where attacking from both above and below. As the front line stabbed from above the back line stabbed from below[coor=red],[/color] making quick work of the enemy. "Men push" Isoto yelled and with extreme force and as one unit the men shove their shields foward. The wall of bronze pushes back the enemy line giving the attackers a breif second to raise sheild and stab. Enemy Cor'hm fell left and right, and seeing their inevitable deafeat the call of retreat was sounded. And the enemy fled.

As the cowards flee a soilder looks in awe, not a single man in Isoto's command had fallen. Filled with joy the soilders "Sir, we won, against all odds we defeate them." The men rejoice but their leader was deep in thought. "Men, we won and yes it was an amazing victory, but now we will send all Cor'hm a message. One saying that if you mess with the Crimson Xiphos you will lose everything. We will burn their homes to the ground." Moving silently, the group tracks the battered intruders back to their home. Having been severly beaten, the clan of the Blood Skulls had almost no resistance. Breaking off into three groups of three, Isoto's men attacked the remainding intruders. Isoto watched as the village burned and all he could find himself to do was to laugh. Marveling at the strength and valor his men fought with, Isoto notices an image fleeing in the distance. It was the cowardly Ruhn of the village.

"He will not escape our furry." Isoto, using his incredible speed, chases down the Ruhn. Engaging his enemy, Isoto prepared to fight. As a group he was invincible but alone, that was a different story. Unsheathing his sword, Isoto beind a barrage of well aimed strikes and to be met with spear blocks. The Ruhm thrust forward and Isoto moved only to feel the spear shave off a lock of hair. "He's good," looking up, Isoto is slashed by a spinning spear attack. "Uh, he's real good." Isoto backs into a defensive stance to assest the fight. But as he locks his stance he begins to feel light headed. "Ugh, that spear must have been posioned, coward fights with no honor." Isoto knew that if he were to lose coniousness he would definalty die so in a desperation attack Isoto waits to strike. Seeing his enemy faulter the run charges, Isoto seeing his chance garbs the sprear and runs it through his shoulder. Grabbing the shaft, he plunges the spear in deeper, pullnig the Ruhn on to his sword. Stabbing it deep he rips it out, the hooked end pulls out the Ruhns intestine. "You lose," Isoto laughs as he fades into darkness.

Isoto awakens a couple of days later sore and with a splitting headache, but still alive. Amazed by this he is later informed that he was carried back to the village by his men and an antidote was created. It was then Isoto and his men wrought and unbreakable bond with one another.

Over the many decades Isoto's skill grew, as did his knowledge and he eventually was given the title Ruhn. But it was short lived, the largest Cor'hm clan in all of Nybelmar, the Blood Letter, began to take notice on this small clan. They were strong, too strong and they posed a threat. So, using their massive influence gathered and army ten times the size of the clan, to stamp out all remainders of this threat.

The war cry came in the dead of the night, the Crimson Xiphos were taken by supprise. They fought valantly, they fought with honor but most importantly they fought for each other. But fate was not kind this night, although they slaughterd most, they were finally over taken. Every last one. After setting fire, the handful of mercenaries retreated believing they had accomplished their mission. Isoto hazily awoke, having only been knocked out, to his vilage... his life burning. He turns and fights his way through flames looking for survivers but there are none to be found.

Isoto was now alone, but he really wasn't as his hatred kept him company. So over the next few decades he slowly hunted down the surviving assassins and gave them a taste of vengence. The odd thing was that most of his information came from the very clan that had hired the assassins. Apparently, feelnig the threat gone, the Blood Letters took joy in Isoto's lust for blood.

But now his fighting days are over, he wanders alone, save for his pet wolf. A wolf that he had helped out of a trap and that has never left his side since he named it Chingu, or friend in Thergerim. So alone he travels, long tired of battles, only longing for death. But something keeps him going, keeps him alive. His will and his honor are all that fill this now empty shell. So perhaps in Sarvionia he will find the one thing he truely seeks... a reason to live.

NOT FINISHED WITH HISTORY (You should probably remove this scrolly thing since you just said that you were finished.)

Weapons:

Xiphos: The sword is of a special design used only by the Cor'hm of his tribe. The sword is narrow and gets broader as it gets near the tip. The [colro=red]broader[/color] portion swoops into a hook designed to rip as it is pulled out. The broadened tip allows the sword to gain maximun force when swung.

Jh'vai Dagger: Isoto uses these as a last resort tactical weapon. They are located in his silver gauntlets(?) and are most usful if he has been disarmed.

Dori: The Dori is a wooden shield covered with hardened leather and blackened bronze. The back of the shield has a leather strap made for arm support. And the handle is placed to the side for added leverage. His shield is adorned with the drawing of a silver spider.

Belongings: His weapons, money, a canteen, and a blanket are all this man possess.

Familiar: Chingu, a dark colored wolf Isoto rescued from a trap on his endless search for inner peace. The wolf seems  ever grateful and protective towards its master.


There. All done. ~_^ I think I got them all.  heart  Good luck with getting your first approval!

~Nox
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Isoto
The Widow
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Gender: Male
Posts: 604


Elf, Cor'hm


« Reply #13 on: August 20, 2007, 05:40:58 AM »

k Im done anything else?
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"I'm tired and you're in my way"

~Isoto~

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Twn Arerwn
Death's Mistress
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Gender: Female
Posts: 4928


Elf, Iferhm


« Reply #14 on: August 20, 2007, 08:44:30 AM »

Hello Isoto and welcome to Santharia! My comments shall be in the ever-ugly color: Orange
Name: Isoto Family or Clan name? I am certain these aspects are very important to this character.

Gender: Male

Age: 206 (appears 30) This is still a young age for someone that has mastered two weapons, stealth and can play an instrument well. This is not including the fact he knows multiple languages. 

Race: Elf

Tribe: Cor'hm

Occupation: Assassin

Title: The Worn Assassin

Height: 1.9 Ped Decimal points are not understood/used on Santharia. I know this because I have been guilty of using them myself.

Weight: 1.7 pygges Same as above.

Physical Aperance:
Isoto, being a drow, has a pure white color to his skin, which is deeply contrasted by his raven black hair. Typical of the Cor'hm. his hair is long and well kempt <--kept?. During battle he keeps his hair up, adorned with a silver clasp bearing the Cor'hm coat of arms.

His dark black eyes have dimmed due to years of death, causing them to losing their once gleaming shine.

He has a small bump in his nose from an injury acquired in battle. Apart from this his face is with out blemish and as typical of his race he emits a radiant beauty than only an elf could possess.

While looking small he has a surprising under tone of rock hard muscles. For his body is built and defined from years of battle. A piercing wound scars his left shoulder giving shape to what looks like a spider. Being left handed it was said his men joked around calling his left arm "The Widow", from the spider's name. The joke, however, became a fear for the enemy who also began to refer to the arm as "The Widow".

Clothing:

Isoto prefers, as do most Cor'hm, warfaring armor to the comfort of street clothes. He is adorned with an armor called Lamallar. The make of this armor is stripped harden linen, leather and a thin sheet of bronze. The armor, while light, is also very resilient to piercing attacks and is favored among his clan. The bronze is blackened and fitted with the silver crest of the Cor'hm.

His arms are protected by silver gauntllets <---gauntlets bearing the honored snake. And his fingers are covered by gloves made of black leather. His legs are fitted with glossed black leather and his shins are protected by a black steel boots. The boots are lined with softened leather for comfort and shock absorption.

His armor is covered by a black cloak lined and adorned in silver. The cloak drapes to the ground and flows to the floor leaving a trail of black linen and silver. Dragging along the ground is going to ruin this cloak in very short order. The cloak completely covers his armor and is held together with a silver clasp in the design of a spider. The spider's eyes are adorned with blood red gems of garnet. The cloak is only completed by the hood, a hood used to hide the dimmed eyes of a worn fighter.
Overall a very wonderfully done description section!
Personality:

Isoto has a somberness to his presence, a quiet worn look to his personality. Years of war and death have hardened him to his own emotions. For, in the Cor'hm tribe, emotions show weakness and flaw and if you are weak you are a target for attack. The Cor'hm must have each member strong and ready, for if even one falters it could mean inhalation <---annihilation for the clan. Now, while hardened, Isoto has a light hearted sense of humor and those lucky enough to be called friend would experience it first hand. Unfortunately, the death of all his clan members had stifled any feelings of joy or happiness, leaving only a shell of his former self.

Isoto was once able to put his trust in others, but only those who he deemed worthy. But that is a thing of the past and now only in himself and his faithful familiar can he find trust. For trust is a thing hard to build and when a man allows no one to get close it is impossible to achieve. He is hard but not unsociable, in his younger days Isoto was quite the talker and some remnants of this still remain. So it is possible for one to coax an enlightening conversation from this elf.

Having been raised as a leader and a warrior, Isoto's mind was keened from militrial <--martial studies and hand on battles. His sharp mind is only complemented by his ability to think quickly. The combination of speed and brilliance of his thoughts makes Isoto a perfect candidate for militrial <--martial leadership. Making him a force to be reconed <---reckoned with. While quick with ideas, Isoto is slow to speak. He believes that battles are not only one through force but through diplomacy. Choosing his words carefully, Isoto only says what he means. This is the fruit of his aged wisdom.

As mentioned earlier, Isoto is bound to his traditions of honor. Putting his life before that of his comrades is one of the main reasons he had commanded so much respect from his soldiers. In his code of honor death was the ultimate achievement, but only a worthy death would do. Retreat and surrender was unheard of. He will fight until his bitter end.

Strength:

Stealth: Isoto has the ability to move without sound and to hide himself without trouble. It should be noted here that attempting to move silently with semi-metallic armor greatly reduces his ability.

Sword: In his years of battle Isoto has become a master at wielding a sword. His many years have made him one of the best swords men the Cor'hm can offer. Please define which sword or swords he can use proficiently. I.E. fighting with a short sword is completely different from using a claymore.

Daggers: Along with his sword, Isoto has mastered the art of using the dagger. Able to use both in a joint fashion that results in a deadly combination. You should note as a player that dual-wielding weapons is an advantage but does not grant the practitioner the level of skill used by ambidextrous characters. 

Well educated in languages: Isoto has spent many hours studying most major languages of Caelerenth. He would then use these languages as codes with in his clan. Thergerim, Kh'omchr'om, Styrash. The only way to learn Theregrim is from a dwarf and this would require years of close relationship with one. The Theregrim use a trade language and this would be more feasible for your character to have basic knowledge of.

Instruments: Isoto can also play the flute. After a day of fighting Isoto enjoy lightening up the mood with light hearted tunes and fast beats.

Weakness:

Gruff: after the death of his commrads <---comrades Isoto shut himself off. Prefereing <---Preferring to keep to himself Isoto does not mean to be rude but can come of that way to strangers.

No goal in life: Having exactred <---extracted his revenge Isoto wanders in search of nothing. He has no drive and no will to live. This lack of drive will more than likely lead him to his death bed.

Pride: While Isoto has no drive to live, he is very prideful in the ways that he was raised. This is probably the sole thing that keeps him from killing himself. Isoto being of the Cor'hm takes much pride in his heritage and will fight until his last breath with no retreat and no surrender.

Bad shoulder: A spear wounded to Isoto's left shoulder, leaving a spider shaped scar. The wound also left his shoulder sensitive to the weather. During storms it will stiffen up. And with his left arm being dominant it is hard for him to fight effectively.
As it stands your character needs another strong weakness to offset his strengths. Though I do think your entire strength and weakness sections are done very well.
History: Isoto's birth was that of a normal Cor'hm. He was raised in the art of war, taught to fight with his head and his fellow clan members. He was taught to take pride in his clan, the clan of the "Crimson Xiphos". Xiphos was the name they gave to their hand crafted swords. Isoto was a quick study and soon learned the ways of Cor'hm warfare.

As he grew he found himself quite interested in the langauges <---languages of other cultures and races. He purchased anything he could find from travling <---traveling merchants. He also found joy in playing instuments <--instruments to entertain his men around the camp fire.

Isoto, proving his valor and wit, was quickly promoted to a squad leader. He had ten Cor'hm under his direct command. Isoto only commanded elite soilders <---soldiers. So for monthes <---months he would train his soilders <---soldiers and once they were ready they would become the iron hammer of the Crimson Xiphos. They would later be known as Death Widows.

Now his clan was small but feared for their power and Isoto lead the best. And Isoto proved their valor on his first mission. The squad had finally completed its training and they were eager to test the skill they had learned in a battle. A scout had reported a small tengent <---contingent of about five rival Cor'hm advancing on the outsirts <---outskirts of the Crimson Xiphos's territory.

Isoto was estactic <--ecstatic , it was their first mission. It was time to test out their training. All they had done and all they were rested on this mission. So Isoto and his team set out on a simple territorial purge soon to find out they were in for the ultimate test of skill.

They reached the intruding clan and, with a silent fist in the air, Isoto stops his foward <---forward movement. With a silent signal, he spreads out his troops. Poised for a strike, Isoto feels odd. Something isn't right with the situatuion <---situation. Why was it such a small group of Cor'hm? It was like they were asking to be attacked.

Signaling his men to regroup, he searches the battle ground for any sign of foul play. Turning to his best archer, he signals him to launch an arrow in the under brush. Shooting the arrow causes a flood of hidden Cor'hm to show their cowardly faces. As Isoto thought, it was an ambush. From the looks of it, there were about thirty fighters. Then their plan became clear to Isoto. They were going to draw out an attack force to stop the intruders. Then once ready to attack, they would swarm the elves and destroy them. This would have caused their tribe to have lost an attack squad, giving the intuders <---intruders a number advantage. So the intruders would then invade and conquer the other clan.

Isoto was glad he had regrouped, but now he had a new problem... they were surronded <---surrounded and were poised to wipe them out. Isoto knew that if this were to happen his clan would be annihilated. Isoto had to think of a plan and to think of one quick. He was outnumbered three to one and he was surronded <---surrounded. Isoto thought, in the trees they had to worry about attacks from not only below but above. Quickly scanning, Isoto finds the forests clearing only a few hundred yards away. "Voinrath kaommerons," a dwarven command to flee the forest. Isoto's lust for launguges <---languages had finally paid off. He had tought <---thought his men very basic commands that he had composed. Utilizing this Isoto makes a dead break for the end of the forest.

Coor had smiled down on them, they had mangaged <---managed to flee to the open field. Isoto turned to his men and, with almost no thought orderd a diamond formation. "Diamond formation, diamond formation." Isoto barks waving his men into positon <---position . "Two deep men." Isoto yelled and without hesitation, his men formed a perfect defensive formation. Six elves made up the outer diamond and four made up the inner diamond. This was their best shot at defending themsleves <---themselves.

No sooner than they had formed up Isoto notices a wave of arrows crashing down towards them. "Arq'u," an orkish word that he had tweaked to mean 'defensive stance'. And at his comand his men covered themselves, their dimaond <---diamond formation covering them all from the rain of arrows. "K'arq," another orkish word that Isoto tweaked to mean attack stance. Lowering their shields the prepared to fight and, if need be to die. The invading elves had used the arrow barrage to quickly make their way to the small group of defenders. You die here today you Xiphos scum die. And then your clan will follow. Your death will be our gain.

"Steady men" Isoto yells "Men remember we fight not for ourselves but for our clan, for our families. And that is our true stregth <---strength, our desire to protect those we love, now lets kill these bastards." Isot braces as they are surrounded by their enemy, and he knows that if their formation falters then they will be destroyed.

The intruders crash against their shields from all sides but using each other they maintained their formation. And, with a group effort, they showed them their strength. As the intruders tried to break through the wall of bronze and muscle, Isoto's troops where attacking from both above and below. As the front line stabbed from above the back line stabbed from below, making quick work of the enemy. "Men push" Isoto yelled and with extreme force and as one unit the men shove their shields foward <---forward. The wall of bronze pushes back the enemy line giving the attackers a breif <---brief second to raise sheild <---shield and stab. Enemy Cor'hm fell left and right, and seeing their inevitable deafeat <---defeat the call of retreat was sounded. And the enemy fled.
The rest of your history is littered with spelling errors, using the spell-check on the site should fix this easily.

Weapons:

Xiphos: The sword is of a special design used only by the Cor'hm of his tribe. The sword is narrow and gets broader as it gets near the tip. The broader portion swoops into a hook designed to rip as it is pulled out. The broadened tip allows the sword to gain maximun <---maximum force when swung. The design of this blade is going to make recovery of the blade after a strike, very slow. With its balance focused towards the end, the blade will feel like twice its true weight when being used. It would only be effective as a slashing blade so the weapon could be continued into another slash. This makes the design of the hook on the end nothing more than "fear factor".

Jh'vai Dagger: Isoto uses these as a last resort tactical weapon. They are located in his silver gauntlets and are most usful if he has been disarmed.

Dori: The Dori is a wooden shield covered with hardened leather and blackened bronze. The back of the shield has a leather strap made for arm support. And the handle is placed to the side for added leverage. His shield is adorned with the drawing of a silver spider.

Belongings: His weapons, money, a canteen, and a blanket are all this man possess.

Familiar: Chingu, a dark colored wolf Isoto rescued from a trap on his endless search for inner peace. The wolf seems  ever grateful and protective towards its master. This is a strength and should be listed there, hence overbalancing your strengths even more.

A very great read Isoto! If you have any questions about my comments, please feel free to post them here and good luck with your title.
~Sincerely~
Co f cr'tuuln:Twen Araerwen
« Last Edit: August 20, 2007, 09:00:52 AM by Twn Arerwn » Logged

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