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Author Topic: Seth Ravana/Helcrani Kasumarii/Killer Assassin Mercenary  (Read 8964 times)
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Seth Ravana
Harborer of Hate
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« on: August 19, 2007, 11:24:38 AM »



Name:  Seth Ravana
Gender: Male
Age: 31
Race: Human
Tribe: Helcrani/Kasumarii
Order: Echiilianni
Occupation: Killer, Assassin, Mercenary
Title: Harborer of Hate

Overview: Seth is a troubled and angry man who is in a long lasting search to find his child, Brenton. With his troubled past he hates the world and everything in it and this causes him to act very harshly towards  just about every aspect of his life. Some who know Seth might go as far as  to say that he is  an evil man . Yet he is not, he is just very troubled.

Appearance:
   Height: 1 Ped, 2 Fores, 1 Palmspan, 1 Nailsbreadth
   Weight: 1 Pygge, 5 Hebs, 4 Ods, 2 Mut.
   Hair Color: Black with streaks of Red
   Eye Color: Changes from Light Brown to Brown and at times they almost look red.
    Physical Appearance: He does not tower over all those around him,  yet his height is sufficient enough to allow him to be eye to eye with most who are of average height. Seth's build is slender, yet he still maintains an attractive amount of muscle that is common in any hard working man. His arms and legs are longer than average, supplying him with a further reach than most, complimenting his speed.

Seth’s face is young looking and almost always filled with the look of hate and/or sorrow. His nose is steeply sloped and extends further than most would see as normal. Below his nose is a well defined chin that comes to a very unique round point unlike any other chin you have ever seen. His eyes are also quite unique,  as in they change color quite often and normally in conjunction with Seth’s mood. On a normal day they are dark  brown, but in moments of anger, stress or frustration his eyes become more of a red tint, changing from a dark brown to a light brown to brown that one could easily mistake as red. His hair is an abnormal color for his Kasumarii blood, consisting of the darkest black and normally has streaks of red in it. The red streaks vary at times in color and if they are there or not as they are not natural. Whenever the chance presents its self Seth will add streaks of red to his hair through the use of dyes or any other method he can find. Dying his hair is something that he does as  a constant reminder of his wife and how she died. Seth’s skin is naturally a pale color due to his Kasumarii upbringing and heritage.

   Clothing: His clothing all consists solely of dark colors as this helps him step in to the shadows in order to stay hidden. His boots are black leather and have plates of metal for protection. Just above his boots are a pair of black pants that have absolutely nothing special about them. Upon his torso he wears a black shirt which, again, has nothing special about it. On his hands he wears a pair of gauntlets which are almost completely ornamental, in an attempt to make his hands look like they have claws, but still provides him with very minimal protection. Covering his head and his back he wears a long black and red cloak. On his hip he carries a sheath for his Moonblade that is also black and red.

Personality: Seth is filled with hate and anger as all he has ever known and loved has been taken away from him, some of it by his own blade. His wife’s death is something that rests heavily on his soul along with not knowing the whereabouts of his son. Because of these things he has a great deal of hate and expresses it toward anyone whom  he deals with. He is a loner  who does not enjoy the company of others and would like nothing  more than to kill at least ten people a day. He trusts  almost  no one, especially women, and if you manage to get in the good graces of Seth then you have a accomplished something that not many other could ever do.

As far as Seth is concerned the world is his playground  and he can do whatever he wants when he wants. He has no morals and only follows the urges and desires he has at the moment. This makes him very unpredictable, as one moment he may actually be talkative and seem nice but then the next second he is trying to kill you. He has no problem with killing anyone for any reason especially if payment is involved. He is not excessively interested in starting trouble or killing people unless motivated to do so through anger or payment. This means, if you leave him alone, chances are he will  leave you alone, unless someone put a hit out on you.

Drinking is actually one of Seth’s favorite pastimes  as it makes the pain go away, even if only for the night. He is normally a calm drunk  but even if he is violent he loses just about all of his fighting ability. He also has a very weak tolerance for alcohol and the rule of thumb is that a normal person can drink two to his one and some can even drink three to his one.

Seth feels that he does not need anyone, depends solely on himself and no one else. If someone were to interfere with this it would anger Seth greatly. He needs help from no one and even when working with others it is only to make the job easier not possible. He has been known to work with others at least on a temporary basis but normally it ends in some kind of conflict, usually blood shed.

Strengths:
Swordsmanship: When using his Moonblade he is very skilled and can out match most who can wield a sword. With his blade he knows many different fighting styles, even two handed and one handed, and is ever efficient in both offence and defense.
Stealth: He is skilled in the art of stealth and if needed, though he normally would rather go head-to-head with an enemy, he can hide and move while hidden pretty decently.

Weaknesses:
Hates Orcs: Seth hates all Orcs and would need a strong reason not to kill an Orc if he was to meet one.
Strong Feelings of Hate: Due to his past he holds a lot of hate inside of him and this makes him act harshly towards most anyone.
Trust Issues: Seth has a hard time trusting anyone. But, more than anyone else, he never would trust a woman. He believes a woman would stab him in the back the first chance she got, every time.
Prefers Solitude: He prefers solitude above all else and when forced to work with others this creates an awkward situation at times due to his lack of good experience with others.
Unpredictable: His deep emotional issues cause him to act very strangely at times and this makes him unpredictable. This makes it hard for others to interact with him because one second he is ok then the next he is trying to kill you.

History: Kenton Ravana was, in his time, one of the best Echiilianni warriors in his tribe. He was feared by any who knew his skill and respected by all of the tribe. He and many others believed that there was not a single soul who could match his skill. Some even ventured so far as to say that he would live forever. Kenton had been trained to be a Echiilianni warrior since he was old enough to hold a blade and, when his father decided it was time, he received his father’s Moonblade.

It was quite common for Kenton to travel all around to different places as his skills where quite commonly paid very generously for. He had traveled just about everywhere there was to travel  but his first trip to the Town of Hog was the one that changed his life forever. Normally Kenton was a cold hearted killer who did the job needed, took payment and left, end of story, but not this time. Every man has a weakness, if he wants to admit it or not, and Kenton’s strongest weakness was a woman named  Clair. From the first moment he saw her he knew something was wrong, but it was too  late, he knew he had to have her.

Clair was born in Hog and had known no other life than poverty. She struggled every day for one thing and one thing only, wealth. That was all that mattered to her. It was her world, a world that she didn’t even have. She was quite a beautiful woman, and she knew it. When she first met Kenton, she knew right then how she would obtain her wealth. Kenton was always quite successful and because of this he was quite rich. This was exactly what Clair wanted.

Less than a week later they had wed and then shortly after they moved back to Kenton's homeland. For Kenton it was the first love in his life he had ever experienced and it made him happy. For Clair though it was the money she loved. For a year Kenton continued to work all the time, spending much of his time away from home killing for money, giving Clair the life she so desired. Then she became pregnant and their whole world changed. Seth was brought into the world to a ecstatic father and to a sorrowful mother as to her he was nothing but a loss of time and money. With the birth of Seth, Kenton soon decided that it was time for him to retire so he could be around for his family and to teach Seth the ways of The Kasumarii.

With Clair’s high maintenance spending needs and Kenton now working local jobs only things started to become very hectic for the two of them. Money quickly started to vanish and the income  was no where near enough to support their way of life. With this Clair became quite unhappy and, within two months of Seth’s birth, Clair vanished. Filled with sorrow, Kenton knew what happened, they ran out of money and she wanted nothing to do with them without  it, so he didn’t even attempt to find her. Instead he spent every spare moment he had with his boy, Seth, who reminded him of  Clair. The black hair that Seth obtained from his mother was the only thing that set him out from the rest of his tribe but, nevertheless,  he was accepted due to his father's standings within the Kasumarii.

Seth’s youth was filled with cynical teachings and tons of training in the ways of an  Echiilianni, mainly consisting of the use of his father's unique Moonblade and in the ways of stealth. He trained with many other of Kasumarii and his father. Seth quickly surpassed all whom  he practiced with, except his father. His father’s  skill was of such greatness that it seemed almost unreachable, especially in a short lifetime. His youth was quite lonely as he had no time for friends or the such, training consumed all of his time. The only real happiness he knew as a child was the happiness he received from his father's pride in how exceedingly well he did in his training and when he received his Moonblade. Kenton passed on his father’s Moonblade to Seth with only one requirement: that, no matter what, it must stay in the family. Even if he dies with it.

Many a  year passed by that was filled with nothing but training and hardship. Once Kenton saw that Seth was able to take care of himself  he also used his connections to get him some jobs away from home. Through his travels he had met many women but he always he remembered the teachings of his father and how he should never trust a woman. So instead he adopted the "Love em’ and leave em’." approach. This worked quite well for him. Except that he, just like his father, had a weakness. Her name was Fern. The reason she fell for Seth was unknown to anyone, including herself but either way you look at it they both fell for each other and soon after they were married. Again, just like his father, a year into marriage she was with child. Except Seth was going to do one major thing differently. He refused to give up his job. It was his life, all he had ever known, and he loved it far more than he loved his wife. The extent of his love for his job and lack of love for Fern in comparison was no mystery to her and it bothered her greatly.

Brenton Ravana was Seth’s boy’s name and he was a stout little fella. Seth spent every moment home with his boy and he loved him dearly. Normally Seth was away from home for a couple of months at a time before he would come back and  spend half a month to a full month at home with his boy before going out on business again. When his father died of old age, Seth caught word of it while out on business. He cut his job short and headed home because of his father. He came home to his wife with another man. When he entered the house he could hear strange sounds coming from their room and upon entering he lost all control of his actions. Without  a moment  of hesitation he pulled his blade  and ended the life of the man and his wife right then and there. He did not ask any questions or give them a chance to speak, he just ended it right then and there. He stood for a moment shocked about what he had seen and done and though he knew in his head that he did what he should have, his heart wept. Though he did not love her like she had wanted, she was still loved by him and her death hurt him deeply. He knelt down beside her body and held her close to him in all of his sorrow, covering himself  in her blood. As a symbol to himself  of his sorrow and as a reminder to never trust or love again, he dipped his fingers in her blood and striped his hair with it.

After grieving over his wife Seth looked for his child throughout the house but could not find him anywhere. Then the nearby roads were searched and he talked to everyone who might know the whereabouts of his child and all he found out was his wife’s lover was from the Continent of Sarvonia and that both him and Seth’s wife had planed on leaving for there. After a little research he had found the boat that they had set up voyage on, along with his boy, but only after it had set sail some time before. Apparently they had  taken Brenton to the ship and got him in their room, headed back for a quick moment of enjoyment and then they were chopped to pieces.

The first ship to Sarvonia was the one that Seth took to find his boy but to no avail as upon arrival no one knew anything and Brenton was nowhere to be seen.

Three years later Seth now travels from place to place in hope of someday, even if by pure luck, finding his boy, Brenton.

Weapons: Moonblade - A unique double-edged Moonblade passed down for many of generations through Seth’s family line. Decorating the side of the blade is the design of a dragon. The hilt is a short, outwards facing blade which curves down to protect the hand and can also be used as weapon, causing considerable damage should he punch someone with the hilt of his blade.
« Last Edit: September 01, 2007, 07:03:44 PM by Kalína Mërénwèn » Logged

Kalína Dalá'isyrás
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« Reply #1 on: August 19, 2007, 04:35:09 PM »

Why does he hate orcs? It is never explained in his history. Since there are no hostile orcs in Sarvonia, this seems a bit...unnatural for a human in the very least.

Other than that, very well written.  Pet
« Last Edit: August 19, 2007, 04:36:41 PM by Kalína Mërénwèn » Logged

Insanity is only a perception made by those who have yet to attain its greatness. While those of us who have already stepped inside its bounds find bliss in our utter madness.
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« Reply #2 on: August 19, 2007, 05:14:03 PM »

Hello Seth, and welcome to Santharia.

I have one question before proceeding to checking your CD. You said that his eyes changes in color. May I have an explanation as to how is that possible?
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Seth Ravana
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« Reply #3 on: August 19, 2007, 11:32:29 PM »

Kalina- I just assumed it fit because of the entry on my tribe. They are many mentions of orcs and how they don't get along with my tribe but the main two that made me think that my tribe hates Orcs is: in the religion entry it talks about the God of the Orcs and how he "is the constant enemy of Korenjah", also another quote from two of the entries, "Thanks to a centuries-old vendetta (sopsta be vendetta) against the orcs of the nearest island"... because of this I believed that all people in this tribe had developed a hatred for Orcs, am I wrong? Ill be happy to change it if it is what you wish.

Thorgas - I don't know how eye color changes I just know for some people it does and it seems allot of the times that their mood has an effect on it. Me I am boring and only have blue eyes but my mother for instance, her eyes well be green one day and blue the next. I even stuck to basically the same color just different shades, can I not do that in Santharia?

Edit: ALSO thank you for your time, both of you! And Kalina thank you for saying that its very well written, it means allot when you say that as I put allot of effort into this character and I really do appreciate that.
« Last Edit: August 19, 2007, 11:34:30 PM by Seth Ravana » Logged

Seth Ravana
Harborer of Hate
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« Reply #4 on: August 19, 2007, 11:51:05 PM »

I just got through reading many different scientific studies and got very contradictory information about eye color changes. The only thing they all agree on is that your eyes change color in a matter of months. The differences between them are as to how much your eyes can change color and how fast. Some said that eyes can change color based on the mood someone is in and the other said that the eyes just appear to be different color because of the light.

I don’t care either way… just let me know what you want and I’ll change it or keep it.
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Vesk Lyricahl
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« Reply #5 on: August 20, 2007, 12:05:43 AM »

Just a note: posting a topic without spaces screws up the layout of the entire board. ;) Fixied though.
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Seth Ravana
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« Reply #6 on: August 20, 2007, 12:08:34 AM »

What do you mean? So that I don't do it again, as this is not my first nor last characer.

Never mind i believe I figured out what your talking about. The subject line in my first post Seth Ravana/Helcrani Kasumarii/Killer Assassin Mercenary I had it with - in stead of spaces. At least I think thats what you mean. Thanks and sorry for that.
« Last Edit: August 20, 2007, 12:11:05 AM by Seth Ravana » Logged

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« Reply #7 on: August 20, 2007, 12:11:58 AM »

In the topic of your thread, you posted most of it without a single space. So the board stretched to show that all on one line. Just keep spaces between the words and the board won't have to stretch. ;)
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« Reply #8 on: August 20, 2007, 12:18:10 AM »

Very well then. I don't experience a variation of eye color other than my usual brown ones, so point settled, I stand corrected. I think it is caused by the blood vessels in the eyes. Back to the topic.

Nice pic. Comments in the fiery color of red.


Name:  Seth Ravana
Gender: Male
Age: 31
Race: Human
Tribe: Helcrani/Kasumarii
Order: Echiilianni
Occupation: Killer, Assassin, Mercenary
Title: Harborer of Hate

Overview: His past has caused him to hate the world and everything in it.(The overview is supposed to give a clear picture of your character. It will be nice if you could provide readers with a couple more sentences.)

Appearance:
   Height: 1 Ped, 2 Fores, 1 Palmspan, 1 Nailsbreadth
   Weight: 1 Pygge, 5 Hebs, 4 Ods, 2 Mut.
   Hair Color: Black with streaks of Red
   Eye Color: Changes from Light Brown to Brown and at times they almost look red.
   Physical Appearance: He does not tower over all who see him yet his height is sufficient enough to allow him to look eye to eye with most who are of average height. Seth’s build is a slender one yet his body is not with(no space here) out the attractive and strengthening muscle that covers the body of a hard working man. His arms and legs are longer than most peoples giving him greater speed and reach.

Seth’s face is young looking and almost always filled with the look of hate and/or sorrow. His nose is steeply sloped and extends further than most would see as normal. Below his nose is a well defined chin that comes to a very unique round point unlike any other chin you have ever seen. His eyes are also quite unique as in they change color quite often and normally in conjunction with Seth’s mood. On a normal day they are a Dark brown color but with every moment of anger, stress or frustration his eyes become more and more red, going from a Dark brown to a Light Brown to a Brown that one could easily mistake as red. His hair is an abnormal color for his Kasumarii blood but it is the darkest black that hair can be and normally has streaks of red in it. The red streaks vary at times in color and if they are there or not as they are not natural. When ever the chance presents its self Seth will add streaks of red to his hair through the use of dyes or any other method he can find. This he does to(remove 'to') as a constant reminder of his wife and how she died. Seth’s skin is a pale color naturally due to his Kasumarii upbringing and heritage.
   Clothing: His clothing is all of dark colors as this helps him step in to the shadows to stay hidden. His boots are black leather and have plates of metal for protection. Just above his boots  is a pair of black pants that have absolutely nothing special about them. On his torso he wears a black shirt which again has nothing special about it. On his hands he wears a pair of gauntlets which are almost completely ornamental, in an attempt to make his hands look like they have claws, but still provide very minimal protection. Covering his head and his back he wears a long black and red cloak. On his hip he carries a sheath for his moon blade that is also black and red.

Personality: Seth is filled with hate and anger as all he has ever known and loved has been taken away from him, some of it by his own blade. His wife’s death is something that rest heavy on his soul along with not knowing the whereabouts of his son. Because of these things he has a great deal of hate and expresses it toward anyone whom he deals with. He is a loaner(loner) who does not enjoy the company of others and would like for(remove 'for') nothing more than to kill at least ten people a day. He trusts near to(remove 'near to', place 'almost') no one, especially women, and if you manage to get in the good graces of Seth then you have some very respectable strength about you.

The world is Seth’s play(no space here) ground as far as he is concerned and he can do what ever he want when he wants. He has no morals and only follows the urges and desires he has at the moment. This makes him very unpredictable as one moment he may actually be talkative and seem nice then the next second he is trying to kill you. He has no problem with killing anyone for any reason especially if payment is involved. He is not excessively interested in starting trouble or killing people unless motivated to do so through anger or payment. This means if you leave him alone chances are he well(will) leave you alone also, unless someone put a hit out on you.

Drinking is actually one of Seth’s favorite pass times(pastimes) as it makes the pain go away, even if only for the night. He is normally a clam drunk(clam drunk?) but even when a violent drunk he looses just about all of his fighting ability. He also has a very weak tolerance for alcohol and the rule of thumb is a normal person can drink two to his one, some even three to his one.

Seth needs nobody and depends solely on himself and no one else. If someone was to interfere with this it would anger Seth greatly. He needs help from no one and even when working with others it is only to make the job easier not possible. He has been known to work with others at least on a temporary basis but normally it ends in some kind of conflict, usually blood shed.

Strengths:
Swordsmanship: When using his moon blade he is very skilled and can out match most who can wield a sword. With his blade he knows many different fighting styles, even two handed and one handed, and is ever efficient in offence and defense.
Stealth: He is skilled in the art of stealth and though he normally would rather go head to head with an enemy, if needed he can hide and move while hidden pretty decently.

Weaknesses:
Hates Orcs: Seth hates all Orcs and would need a strong reason not to kill an Orc if he was to meet one.
Strong feeling of Hate: Due to his past he holds a lot of hate inside of him and this makes him act harshly to most anyone.
Trust issues: Seth has a hard time trusting anyone but more than anything he never would trust a woman. He believes a woman would stab you in the back the first chance she got, every time.
Prefers solitude: He prefers solitude above all else and when forced to work with others this creates an awkward situation at times due to him not having any good experience with others.
Unpredictable: His deep emotional issues cause him to act very strangely at times and this makes him unpredictable. This causes others a hard time in dealing with him because one second he is ok then the next he is trying to kill you.

History: Kenton Ravana was in his time one of the best Echiilianni Warriors in his Kasumarii tribe. He was feared by any who knew his skill and respected by all of (the) T(t)ribe. He and many others believed that there was not a single soul who could match his skill and some even ventured to say that he would live for(no space here) ever. Kenton had been trained to be a Echiilianni Warrior since he was old enough to hold a blade and when his father decided it was time he received his father’s Moon Blade.

It was quite common for Kenton to travel all around to different places as his skills where quite commonly paid very generously for. He had traveled just about everywhere there was to travel  but his first trip to the Town of Hog was the one that changed his life forever. Normally Kenton was a cold hearted killer who did the job needed, took payment and left, end of story, but not this time. Every man has a weakness, if he wants to admit it or not, and Kenton’s strongest weakness was a woman named Clair. From the first moment he saw her he knew something was wrong, but it was too late, he knew he had to have her.

Clair was born in Hog and had known no other life than poverty. She struggled every day for one thing and one thing only, wealth. That was all that mattered to her, it was her world, that she didn’t even have. She was quite a beautiful woman, and she knew it, and when she first met Kenton, she knew right then how she would obtain her wealth. Kenton was always quite successful and because of this he was quite rich, this was exactly what Clair wanted.

Less than a week latter(later) they were wed and for Kenton it was the first love in his life he had ever experience and it made him happy. For Clair though it was the money she loved. For a year Kenton continued to work all the time, spending much of his time away from home killing for money, giving Clair the life she so desired. Then she became pregnant and their whole world changed. Seth was brought into the world to a ecstatic father and to a sorrowful mother as to her he was nothing but a loss of time and money. With the birth of Seth, Kenton soon decided that it was time for him to retire so he could be around for his family and to teach Seth the ways of The Kasumarii.

With Clair’s high maintenance spending needs and Kenton now working local jobs only things started to become very hectic for the two of them. Money quickly started to vanish and the intake(income) was no where near enough to support their way of life. With this Clair became quite unhappy and within two months of Seth’s birth Clair vanished. Filled with sorrow Kenton knew what happened, they ran out of money and she wanted nothing to do with them with(no space here) out it, so he didn’t even attempted to find her. Instead he spent every spare moment he had with his boy, Seth, who reminded him so(remove 'so') of Clair. The black hair that Seth obtained from his mother was the only thing that set him out from the rest of his tribe but never the less(nevertheless) he was accepted due to his father's standings within The Kasumarii.

Seth’s youth was filled with cynical teachings and tons of training in the ways of an Echiilianni, mainly the use of his father's unique Moon Blade and in the ways of stealth. He trained with many other of Kasumarii and his father but quickly he surpassed all whom he practiced with short his father(Huh?). His father’s skill was of such that it seemed almost unreachable, especially in a short lifetime. His youth was quite lonely as he had no time for friends or the such, only time for training. The only real happiness he knew as a child was the happiness he received from his father's pride in how exceedingly well he did in his training and when he received his Moon Blade. Kenton passed on his father’s Moon Blade to Seth with only one requirement, that no matter what it must stay in the family even if he dies with it.

Many of(remove 'of', put in 'a') year passed by that was filled with nothing but training and hardship. Once Kenton saw that Seth was able of taking care of him(no space here) self he also used his connections to get him some jobs outside of home. Through his travels he met many women but always he remembers his fathers teachings about never trusting a woman, so instead he adopted the love em’ and leave em’ approach. This worked quite well for him except for he, just like his father had, had a weakness and her name was Fern. The reason she fell for Seth was unknown to anyone, including herself but either way you look at it they both fell for each other and soon after they were married. Again just like his father a year into marriage he was with child, except Seth was going to do one major thing differently, he refused to give up the job. It was his life, all he had ever known and he loved it far more than he loved his wife. The extent of his love for the job and lack of for her in comparison was no mystery to her and it bothered her greatly.

Brenton Ravana was Seth’s boy’s name and he was a stout little fella. Seth spent every moment home with his boy and he loved him dearly. Normally Seth was away from home for a couple of months then he would come back (and) spend a half a month or a full month at home with his boy then be out on business again. When his father died of old age though he caught word of it while out on business. Seth cut his job short and headed home because of his father but instead came home to his wife with another man. When he entered the house he could hear strange sounds from their room and upon entering he lost all control of his actions. With (no space here)out a moments(moment) of hesitation he pulled his (b)Blade and ended the life of the man and his wife right then and there. He did not ask any questions or give them a chance to speak he just ended it right then and there. He stood for a moment shocked about what he had seen and done and though he knew in his head that he did what he should have, his heart wept. Though he did not love her like she had wanted, she was still loved by him and her death hurt him deeply. He knelt down beside her body and held her close to him in all of his sorrow, covering him (no space here)self in her blood. As a symbol to him(no space here) self of his sorrow and as a reminder to never trust or love again, he dipped his fingers in her blood and striped his hair with it.

After grieving over his wife Seth looked for his child through(no space here) out the house but could not find him anywhere. Then the near(no space here) by roads were searched and he talked to everyone who might know the whereabouts of his child and all he found out was his wife’s lover was from the Continent of Sarvonia and that both him and Seth’s wife had planed on leaving for their(their what?). After a little of(remove 'of') research he had found the boat that they had set up voyage on, along with his boy, but only after it had set sail some time before. Apparently they had  taken Brenton to the ship and got him in their room, headed back for a quick moment of enjoyment and then they were chopped to pieces.

The first ship to Sarvonia was the one that Seth took to find his boy but to no avail as upon arrival no one knew anything and Brenton was nowhere to be seen.

Three years latter Seth now travels from place to place in hope of some day by chance of luck (in) finding his boy, Brenton.

(Thorgas' tip for the day: Pressing the space bar too much is highly addictive and should be used properly.)

Weapons: Moon Blade - A unique double-edged Moon Blade passed down for many of generations through Seth’s family line. On the side of the blade is a dragon and the hilt of the Moon Blade is protected by a short outward facing blade which curves down to protect the hand and seconds(seconds?) as a weapon if used to punch the opponent(I can't understand this part. Try rewording it.).

Belongings:

And there you go. You have a lot to work on. Possibly more comments to follow, as it is 11 P.M. here.

Have a nice day.
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A weak mind is a deadly foe.
Thorgas Ironforge
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« Reply #9 on: August 20, 2007, 12:56:28 AM »

Oooo.  grin That is an awfully nifty picture that you have there. You should probably place it between Overview and Appearances, eh?

Just a suggestion.

~Nox
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Seth Ravana
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« Reply #10 on: August 20, 2007, 01:39:13 AM »

Thorgas: I believe I fixed everything there was to fix. The last part that you couldn't understand, I tried to draw a picture and explain it better... but I failed so I just took it out.

Nox: Thanks for the suggestion. There are two reasons I put it at the top, one because it keeps it from separating text so much, and two because I am trying to keep all of my CD, appearance wise, just about the same.
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Thorgas Ironforge
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« Reply #11 on: August 20, 2007, 01:55:25 AM »

No no, don't remove it. English is not my native language, thus I am having some difficulty understanding some sentences.

Please wait for other moderators to check your CD.
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A weak mind is a deadly foe.
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« Reply #12 on: August 20, 2007, 02:09:25 AM »

Ok, I put it back in, thank you thorgas for your help.
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Nox Echiiscuan
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« Reply #13 on: August 20, 2007, 02:19:37 AM »

Ooh! Okay. ^_^


A helpful rephrasing suggestion!  Rolling
Quote
Weapons: Moon Blade - A unique double-edged Moon Blade passed down for many of generations through Seth’s family line. Decorating the side of the blade is the design of a dragon. The hilt is a short, outwards facing blade which curves down to protect the hand and can also be used as weapon, causing considerable damage should he punch someone with the hilt of his blade.


Oy. I don't know why I'm so hyper today. All chipper and what not. Anyways! Goodluck!  Rolling
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Seth Ravana
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« Reply #14 on: August 20, 2007, 02:24:00 AM »

lets see how does that work again... highlight... hold Ctrl... push c... now highlight old stuff... hold ctrl... push v... alright! Thanks, that does sound much better and it is officially stolen! if I could delete your post I would and then everyone would think its me. But I cant so thank you!
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