* 
Welcome Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?


*
gfxgfx Home Forum Help Search Calendar Login Register   gfxgfx
gfx gfx
gfx
Embed Maximize


Newbies, read these!

Character Creation
FAQs
Restrictions

Main Site
Portraits
Rules
Story Creation
Racial Crossbreeding
Magic

Contact
Tips and Tricks
IRC Chat
Measures Converter
Elven Aging Calculator
Pages: [1] 2   Go Down
Print
Author Topic: Joey/ Kasumarii/ Assassin Spy Informant  (Read 5614 times)
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
Jo
Friendly Assassin
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 145


Human, Kasumarii


« on: August 31, 2007, 12:41:34 PM »

Name:  Joey, or Jo
Gender: Female
Age: 17
Race: Human
Tribe: Kasumarii
Occupation: Assassin, spy, informant
Title: Friendly Assassin

Overview: Joey is a young, dangerous woman adept with her moonblades. She is a deadly assassin, and great as an informant, due to her young age.

Appearance:
Height: 1 Ped, 2 Fores
Weight: 1 Pygge, 1 Hafeb
Hair Color: Blonde
Eye Color: Light brown/copper
Physical Appearance: Although she is young, Jo's body is fit. She's very agile, and her lean muscles are apparent on her arms and abdomen. Jo is short and slender with angular features. Her jaw and chin are pointed; her ears long and rounded. Jo's short hair is cropped on top, leaving two rat tails at the nape of her neck. These she braids, letting them fall midway down her back. Her almond shaped, copper eyes have a permanent narrowed look to them, her small eyebrows making it look so. Small, pink lips with a little nose make her face look very youthful coupled with her large eyes. If it weren't for her constant grimace, Jo would look like a very innocent youth.

Jo also has a tattoo of a butterfly on the back of her neck, courtesy of her time spent with the Black Butterfly Rovers.

Clothing: Joey wears the tight fitting clothing of her tribe. Since moving away from the cold climate in her homeland and joining the Rovers, Jo wears a sleeveless, cropped red top, exposing her stomach, but leaving her able to move. She also wears simple green pants, only coming down a little past her knees. Jo doesn't wear any jewelry except a few silver rings in her ears, as dangling objects would get in the way. Soft, slipper-like boots covering her small feet allow her to move without a sound.

Personality: Joey is surprisingly friendly. Although she has had to mature quickly, she still has her childlike curiosity. In a new place, she may be seen flitting about, learning about the people of the area, seeking as much information as she can-a habit she picked up from being on a job (although it keeps her in practice). Joey is confident and rarely hesitant, and she has never had parents or authority to scold her in common relations. In combat, on the other hand, Joey is disciplined and concentrates very hard. In a matter of business, or if a situation looks to become dangerous, Jo will automatically switch to a hardened version of herself.


Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
-Endurance. Joey may not be the strongest, but her endurance is great after years of travel and hardship on Guldor, and then training at the exchange school in Sarvonia.

-Friendly. Despite fighting and her deadly way with a moonblade, Jo is a friendly, curious young woman. She makes acquaintances easily, also allowing her to get much information from people.

-Age. Joey is still young, she's attractive and persuasive as a youth. She can act mature, but her childlike innocence is a strength and a weapon in some cases. She can use her innocence to catch others off guard, it's much easier for someone to confide in a child, who poses as less than a threat in most cases.

-Stealthy and Agile. Joey can move without a sound, can fit herself into the most convenient hiding places, and could find just about any cubby or peep hole imaginable. Her size and practice allow her to sneak into even the quietest of rooms without being noticed.

-Combat. Joey is adept with her moonblades-- learning to use them from the couple who took her in as a child. Her practice over the years increased her skill immensely.

Weaknesses:
-Friendly. Joey, during business, can get attached. She could have keen interest in her next victim, sometimes making the job more difficult.

-Age. Joey is young, and its disadvantages outweigh the advantages. Joey can be mistaken as stupid, written off as a homeless, useless child. She can also take things offensively, or throw small fits when she does not get her way, she still has much to learn.

-Joey has hardly any notion of authority outside of military context. She knew which members of the Rovers were to be obeyed without question, but any other adult, child, man, or woman, she will treat as an equal. This leads Joey to undermine even the greatest authority if she does not deem them as such, getting her into trouble quickly.

-Joey has made no bonds in her life. Although she had brother and sister-like figures who raised her, she never had parents or a family structure to teach her the more sociable side of life. Despite her friendliness, Joey is sometimes conversationally and relationally challenged-- this also refers to her lack of close relationships within the Black Butterfly Rovers.

-Flirtatious. Joey, although relationally challenged, is a flirt. She can be manipulative when it comes to boys and men alike, and will often use this to her advantage. It can get her in a lot of trouble though, because she is still young and maturing.

History: On the small island of Guldor, a beautiful, white haired young woman carried a small, wrapped gift to her husband, cradling it in her arms against the cold. The woman heard her cries and rushed into the night to care for her, bringing her quickly back to her husband, waiting anxiously at the door. The baby girl, left alone, seemed healthy enough. Her pale skin rosy red in the frost, she otherwise seemed fit as a fiddle. Not even a year old, the couple guessed. Taking her in, they cared for the child, for they were too young yet to have a child of their own. Avoiding parental roles, as the baby could have easily been their sibling, the husband and wife kept their distance. Because the couple traveled, carrying their home as most Kasumarii did, the girl grew as they moved. She was always in shape, running, playing, hardly daring to stand still.

The couple named her Joey, for she could have been a baby boy with her rambunctious nature. The couple refrained from using a last name, giving her any parental tie to them she might assume. As Joey grew into a young teenager, she came to recognize the couple as her brother and sister, and never asked a question of her parents. Because they rarely stayed in a single place, Joey had no notion of a family structure anyway, and their sibling disguise worked well. To pass the time, the couple taught Jo to fight, gifting her with two simply crafted moonblades and a belt to carry them. Joey was taught hand to hand combat, all the while enduring the snowy climate of the Cyhalloian Island. Her muscles hardened and Jo became a tough, unmovable young lady who knew well how to survive.

Fascinated when they reached the port city of Carabrand, the couple suggested Joey board the next ship with the exchange students, to learn in a warmer, very different culture and climate. Joey was now 16 years old, and although living with the couple her whole life, her curiosity and adventurous side outweighed her fondness of the familiar. Bidding farewell to the couple, Joey set sail, landing on the eastern coast of Southern Santharia, near Carmalad and the Ancythrian Sea. It was there Jo found the Black Butterfly Rovers. Fascinated by their charm, and their skills in dancing and comedic tricks, Joey was drawn to them, and they invited her to join them.

With her already jovial state of mind, quick reflexes, and wit- as well as her familiarity with constant travel- Jo fit in quite well. She obtained the butterfly tattoo on the back of her neck, and soon began to travel again, this time with a larger crowd. Joey had many acquaintances among the Rovers, but never a real place among them. She learned the useful acts of thieving, as well as the ability to sneak lightly on foot, but never made any real close human connections. Joey, by this time in her life, had mastered the art of acquainting herself with another, but never forming that bond.

The Rovers quickly learned of Jo's uncanny ability with her moonblades, and she was at the forefront of the regime used to take care of those who would do wrong against the band. Instead of joining in on the acting, dances, and tricks, Jo would spend her time scouring the city, getting information and making sure the Rovers were safe. Joey, still young and inexperienced, hardly gave a second thought when on duty. She could deftly perform an assassination without another person to help her, her moonblades always serving their purpose well, and she never was caught. Notorious throughout all the Rovers, Jo's confidence grew with her skill and she was hired out for personal use as well.

Joey found herself seeking more jobs outside the Rovers than within, although she did face difficulty due to the tattoo on her neck, she was able to hide it with her rat-tail strands of hair in order to obtain a job. The morality within the group pushed her away, for Jo found she had very little to do other than gathering information. She had become a silent assassin, a dangerous and feared addition to the reputation of the band. Soon, Joey chose to say goodbye to the few people she knew, and set out with a full purse, knowing anywhere her skill had been used in the past, she could obtain work again.   

Weapons: Joey carries two moonblades at her hips. Both simply crafted, they are curved and slim and fit well at her sides. Jo doesn't try to hide them, and there are indents in the hilts where her small hands fit perfectly.

Belongings: Aside from her moonblades, Jo carries a small purse full of coins, soft gloves, and a small pack with warmer clothing from her home island of Guldor.

Familiars: None.
« Last Edit: September 03, 2007, 12:54:28 AM by Jo » Logged

"Find it in you, raise your eyes, look beyond the place you stand."
miss Jo.
Thorgas Ironforge
Ironforge Pyromancer
Mini-mod
***
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 1540


Dwarf, Mitharim


« Reply #1 on: August 31, 2007, 12:56:16 PM »

Please put up the correct message icon. The pencil, if you're still working on it, or the exclamation mark, if you would like to receive comments.

Have a nice day.
Logged

A weak mind is a deadly foe.
Thorgas Ironforge
Buri
Thorgas' theme song
Jo
Friendly Assassin
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 145


Human, Kasumarii


« Reply #2 on: August 31, 2007, 12:57:33 PM »

I realized that and did it before you commented :) Thanks.
Logged

"Find it in you, raise your eyes, look beyond the place you stand."
miss Jo.
Ursakar Shimazu
New Santharian

Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 22


A Sleeping Bear...


« Reply #3 on: August 31, 2007, 04:56:25 PM »

I'm going off to school right now, but as soon as I get back I'll do an in-dept mega-check.

EDIT: Today I like Yellow.

Hello! I am not sure about the title, and I know the history needs work, but I hope it's alright! Oh, and I'll fix the avatar soon.. sorry!

Name:  Joey, or Jo
Gender: Female
Age: 17
Race: Human
Tribe: Kasumarii
Order: Korenjaan
Occupation: Assassin, spy, informant
Title: Not sure..

Overview: Joey is a young, dangerous woman adept with her moonblades. She is a deadly assassin, and great as an informant, due to her young age.

Appearance:
Height: 1 Ped, 2 Fores
Weight: 1 Pygge, 1 Hafeb
Hair Color: Pale brown/dark blond
Eye Color: Light brown/copper
Physical Appearance: Although she is young, Jo's body is fit. She's very agile, and her lean muscles are apparent on her arms and abdomen. Jo is short and slender, with angular features. Her jaw and chin are pointed, her ears long and rounded. Jo's short hair is cropped on top, leaving two rat tails at the nape of her neck. These she braids, letting them fall midway down her back. Her almond shaped, copper eyes have a permanent narrowed look to them, her small eyebrows making it look so. Small, pink lips with a little nose make her face look very youthful coupled with her large eyes. If it weren't for her constant grimace, Jo would look like a very innocent youth.

Jo also has a tattoo of a butterfly on the back of her neck, courtesy of her time spent with the Black Butterfly Rovers.

Clothing: Joey wears the tight fitting clothing of her tribe. Since moving away from the cold climate in her homeland and joining the Rovers, Jo wears a sleeveless, cropped red top, exposing her stomach, but leaving her able to move. She also wears simple green pants, only coming down a little past her knees. Jo doesn't wear any jewelry except a few silver rings in her ears, as dangling objects would get in the way. Soft, slipperlike boots covering her small feet allow her to move without a sound.

Personality: Joey is surprisingly friendly. Although she has had to mature quickly, she still has her childlike curiosity. In a new place, she may be seen flitting about, learning about the people of the area, seeking as much information as she can-a habit she picked up from being on a job (although it keeps her in practice). Joey is confident and rarely hesitant, she has never had parents or authority to scold her in common relations. In combat, on the other hand, Joey is disciplined and concentrates very hard. In a matter of business, or if a situation looks to become dangerous, Jo will automatically switch to a hardened version of herself.


Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
-Endurance. Joey may not be the strongest, but her endurance is great after years of travel and hardship on Guldor, and then training at the exchange school in Sarvonia.

-Friendly. Despite fighting and her deadly way with a moonblade, Jo is a friendly, curious young woman. She makes acquaintances easy, also allowing her to get much information from people.

-Age. Joey is still young, she's attractive and persuasive as a youth. She can act mature, but her childlike innocence is a strength and a weapon in some cases.

-Stealth. Joey can move without a sound, can fit herself into the most convenient hiding places, and could find just about any cubby or peep hole imaginable.

Weaknesses:
-Friendly. Joey, during business, can get attached. She could have keen interest in her next victim, sometimes making the job more difficult.

-Age. Joey is young, and it's disadvantages outweigh the advantages. Joey can be mistaken as stupid, written off as a homeless, useless child. She can also take things offensively, or throw small fits when she does not get her way, she still has much to learn.

-Joey has hardly any notion of authority outside of military context. She knew which members of the Rovers were to be obeyed without question, but any other adult, child, man, or woman, she will treat as an equal.

-Joey never learned to read. Her mind is able to carry loads of information, but she cannot read or write down any of it.

History: On the small island of Guldor, a beautiful, white haired young woman carried a small, wrapped gift to her husband, cradling it in her arms against the cold. The baby girl, left alone, seemed healthy enough. Her pale skin rosy red in the frost, she otherwise seemed fit as a fiddle. The woman heard her cries and rushed into the night to care for her, bringing her quickly back to her husband, waiting anxiously at the door. Not even a year old, the couple guessed. Taking her in, they cared for the child, for they were too young yet to have a child of their own. Avoiding parental roles, as the baby could have easily been their sibling, the husband and wife kept their distance. Because the couple travelled, carrying their home as most Kasumarii did, the girl grew as they moved. She was always in shape, running, playing, hardly daring to stand still.

The couple named her Joey, for she could have been a baby boy with her rambuncious (for the life of me I can't figure out how to spell this..) nature. The couple refrained from using a last name, giving her any parental tie to them she might assume. As Joey grew into a young teenager, she game to recognize the couple as her brother and sister, and never asked a question of her parents. Because they rarely stayed in a single place, Joey had no notion of a family structure anyway, and their sibling disguise worked well. To pass the time, the couple taught Jo to fight, gifting her with two moonblades and a belt to carry them. Joey was taught hand to hand combat, all the while enduring the snowy climate of the Cyhalloian island. Her muscles hardened and Jo became a tough, unmovable young lady who knew well how to survive.

Fascinated when they reached the port city of Carabrand, the couple suggested Joey board the next ship with the exchange students, to learn in a warmer, very different culture and climate. Bidding farewell to the couple, Joey set sail, landing on the eastern coast of Southern Santharia, near Carmalad and the Ancythrian Sea. It was there Jo found the Black Butterfly Rovers. Fascinated by their charm, and their skills in dancing and comedic tricks, Joey was drawn to them, and they invited her to join them.

With her already jovial state of mind, quick reflexes, and wit-as well as her familiarity with constant travel-Jo fit in quite well. She obtained the butterfly tattoo on the back of her neck, and soon began to travel again, this time with a larger crowd. Joey had many acquaintances among the Rovers, but never a real place among. She learned the act of thieving, as well as the ability to sneak lightly on foot, but never made any real close human connections. Joey, by this time in her life, had mastered the art of acquainting herself with another, but never forming that bond.

The Rovers quickly learned of Jo's uncanny ability with her moonblades, and she was at the forefront of the regime used to take care of those who would do wrong against the band. Instead of joining in on the acting, dances, and tricks, Jo would spend her time scouring the city, getting information and making sure the Rovers were safe. Joey, still young and inexperienced, hardly gave a second thought when on duty. She could deftly perform an assassination without another person to help her, her moonblades always serving their purpose well, and she never was caught. Notorious throughout all the Rovers, Jo's confidence grew with her skill and she was hired out for personal use as well.

Joey found herself with more jobs outside the Rovers than within. The morality within the group pushed her away, as she had become a silent assassin, dangerous and feared within the band. Soon, Joey said goodbye to the few people she knew, and set out with a full purse, knowing anywhere her skill had been used in the past, she could obtain work again.     

Weapons: Joey carries two moonblades at her hips. Both simply crafted, they are curved and slim and fit well at her sides. Jo doesn't try to hide them, and there are indents in the hilts where her small hands fit perfectly.

Familiars: None.

Okay... I don't see anything wrong. You just need a title. Overall. I think this is masterfully crafted.
« Last Edit: August 31, 2007, 10:53:39 PM by Ursakar Shimazu » Logged
Jo
Friendly Assassin
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 145


Human, Kasumarii


« Reply #4 on: September 01, 2007, 01:58:57 AM »

Thank you Ursakar! That was a lot quicker than I thought..  grin
Logged

"Find it in you, raise your eyes, look beyond the place you stand."
miss Jo.
Alassiel Telrúnya
Temperamental Bard
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 1728


Elf, Ak’váth’rhím / Injerín


« Reply #5 on: September 01, 2007, 02:50:14 AM »

Hi, Jo! I just noticed a few things...

1) Your appearance may not be true to your tribe. Kasumarii have very light colored hair, and this is a quote from the entry:

Quote
...being born with pure white hair isn't a very uncommon thing among the Kar-ii.

So having it pale brown or dark brown would be darker than the average Kar-ii. If you want your hair color to be darker than normal, you'd have to give a good reason as to why it is like so. I think. grin

2) About the first paragraph of your History:

Quote
On the small island of Guldor, a beautiful, white haired young woman carried a small, wrapped gift to her husband, cradling it in her arms against the cold. The baby girl, left alone, seemed healthy enough. Her pale skin rosy red in the frost, she otherwise seemed fit as a fiddle. The woman heard her cries and rushed into the night to care for her, bringing her quickly back to her husband, waiting anxiously at the door. Not even a year old, the couple guessed. Taking her in, they cared for the child, for they were too young yet to have a child of their own. Avoiding parental roles, as the baby could have easily been their sibling, the husband and wife kept their distance. Because the couple travelled, carrying their home as most Kasumarii did, the girl grew as they moved. She was always in shape, running, playing, hardly daring to stand still.

The two sentences I have done in bold should be swapped. When I first read that bit, it caused be a bit of confusion, so I had to stare at it and reread it a couple more times before I understood it. Also, instead of "The woman herad her cries", could you change it to "The woman had heard her cries".

3) You need a Belongings section below your Weapons section. Put everything she has on her, besides her weapons, in this section, like her purse and where she keeps it, a change of clothes if she has any, which she should have. Needless to say, it's not only the practical stuff which should go in there, but stuff like accessories... when she's not wearing them, where does she keep them, etc.

4) Since she is excellent with her moonblades, that should be added to her Strengths. More than half of Caelereth have no idea how to use weapons, so having any weapon by your side, let alone knowing how to use them well, is an advantage against attackers.

5)
Quote
Joey found herself with more jobs outside the Rovers than within. The morality within the group pushed her away, as she had become a silent assassin, dangerous and feared within the band.

I think it would take a lot more than that to make the Black Butterflies kick you out of the group. Also, it would be difficult for you to be hired by someone, unless that someone is very desperate, because many people don't trust The Black Butterflies because of their reputation, and this is a quote from the Black Butterfly entry:

Quote
Most will not hire those who have the symbol branded on their bodies.

Meaning the symbol of the Black Butterfly.

6) Your spelling is fine, but I spotted some grammatical errors while reading this, similar to Problem Number 2 above, only the one I mentioned was more serious, and these are just little minor ones. My only suggestion is to read it through carefully, or copy and paste it into a program which does grammar checks for you.

Other than that, well done! I like this character. I might have missed something, because I only gave it a quick scan, but that was all I could find. Good luck with your CD!

Alassiel
Logged

Jo
Friendly Assassin
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 145


Human, Kasumarii


« Reply #6 on: September 01, 2007, 03:18:10 AM »

Thank you Alassiel! I made my changes in pink!

I switched those two sentences around.. I see what you mean, although it made sense to me at the time :P

I didn't mean for it to sound as if she was kicked from the Rovers, only that she chose to part ways.. I edited it a bit, I hope it's satisfactory although it's lacking and I know there's something else I need to change..

Added the belongings and the strength! :) Thinking I need more weaknesses now...

As for grammar.. I think it may just be my style? I don't really know, I don't see anything else, but I'll look through it again and put it in Word.. thank you!

Oh, and the hair.. I thought might be a problem. I'll work on it, hehe.
Logged

"Find it in you, raise your eyes, look beyond the place you stand."
miss Jo.
Alassiel Telrúnya
Temperamental Bard
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 1728


Elf, Ak’váth’rhím / Injerín


« Reply #7 on: September 01, 2007, 03:39:29 AM »

The grammar issue is just you forgetting to add an 'and' occasionally, and liitle minor things like the mistake in your 2nd strength, which would be 'She makes aquaintances easily', instead of 'She makes aquaintances easy'. Others are things like wrong punctuation, and putting an apostrophe where it isn't needed, like in your 2nd weakness, where it should be 'its disadvantages' instead of 'it's disadvantages'.

Speaking of weaknesses, I just realized that your last weakness isn't valid. Like the knowledge of how to use weapons, the knowledge of reading and writing is very rare. I know the Black Butterfly entry says that they make makeshift little schools for reading and writing, but I'm pretty certain that you don't need to attend if you don't want to. So being illiterate isn't a weakness.
Logged

Jo
Friendly Assassin
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 145


Human, Kasumarii


« Reply #8 on: September 01, 2007, 08:26:45 AM »

Alrighty! I changed some stuff, added "ands" and semi-colons! Noted in pink, although its hard to see.

Took out that weakness as well.

Thanks for your help!
Logged

"Find it in you, raise your eyes, look beyond the place you stand."
miss Jo.
Thorgas Ironforge
Ironforge Pyromancer
Mini-mod
***
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 1540


Dwarf, Mitharim


« Reply #9 on: September 02, 2007, 10:24:24 AM »

red.

Name:  Joey, or Jo
Gender: Female
Age: 17
Race: Human
Tribe: Kasumarii
Order: Korenjaan(How did she become a member of the korenjaans? She did not join them, and even left her home for some place else.)
Occupation: Assassin, spy, informant
Title: Not sure..(A title is anything that you want others to call you, or something that people called you for doing something.)

Overview: Joey is a young, dangerous woman adept with her moonblades. She is a deadly assassin, and great as an informant, due to her young age.

Appearance:
Height: 1 Ped, 2 Fores
Weight: 1 Pygge, 1 Hafeb
Hair Color: Blond
Eye Color: Light brown/copper
Physical Appearance: Although she is young, Jo's body is fit. She's very agile, and her lean muscles are apparent on her arms and abdomen. Jo is short and slender with angular features. Her jaw and chin are pointed; her ears long and rounded. Jo's short hair is cropped on top, leaving two rat tails at the nape of her neck. These she braids, letting them fall midway down her back. Her almond shaped, copper eyes have a permanent narrowed look to them, her small eyebrows making it look so. Small, pink lips with a little nose make her face look very youthful coupled with her large eyes. If it weren't for her constant grimace, Jo would look like a very innocent youth.

Jo also has a tattoo of a butterfly on the back of her neck, courtesy of her time spent with the Black Butterfly Rovers.

Clothing: Joey wears the tight fitting clothing of her tribe. Since moving away from the cold climate in her homeland and joining the Rovers, Jo wears a sleeveless, cropped red top, exposing her stomach, but leaving her able to move. She also wears simple green pants, only coming down a little past her knees. Jo doesn't wear any jewelry except a few silver rings in her ears, as dangling objects would get in the way. Soft, slipper-like boots covering her small feet allow her to move without a sound.

Personality: Joey is surprisingly friendly. Although she has had to mature quickly, she still has her childlike curiosity. In a new place, she may be seen flitting about, learning about the people of the area, seeking as much information as she can-(space)a habit she picked up from being on a job (although it keeps her in practice). Joey is confident and rarely hesitant, and she has never had parents or authority to scold her in common relations. In combat, on the other hand, Joey is disciplined and concentrates very hard. In a matter of business, or if a situation looks to become dangerous, Jo will automatically switch to a hardened version of herself.


Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
-Endurance. Joey may not be the strongest, but her endurance is great after years of travel and hardship on Guldor, and then training at the exchange school in Sarvonia.

-Friendly. Despite fighting and her deadly way with a moonblade, Jo is a friendly, curious young woman. She makes acquaintances easily, also allowing her to get much information from people.

-Age. Joey is still young, she's attractive and persuasive as a youth. She can act mature, but her childlike innocence is a strength and a weapon in some cases.(explain this sentence.)

-Stealth. Joey can move without a sound, can fit herself into the most convenient hiding places, and could find just about any cubby or peep hole imaginable.(You describe her here as being flexible, not being stealthy.)

-Combat. Joey is adept with her moonblades--learning to use them from the couple who took her in as a child. Her practice over the years increased her skill immensely.

Weaknesses:
-Friendly. Joey, during business, can get attached. She could have keen interest in her next victim, sometimes making the job more difficult.

-Age. Joey is young, and its disadvantages outweigh the advantages. Joey can be mistaken as stupid, written off as a homeless, useless child. She can also take things offensively, or throw small fits when she does not get her way, she still has much to learn.

-Joey has hardly any notion of authority outside of military context. She knew which members of the Rovers were to be obeyed without question, but any other adult, child, man, or woman, she will treat as an equal.(How is this a weakness?)

You are unbalanced. Try adding a few more weaknesses.


History: On the small island of Guldor, a beautiful, white haired young woman carried a small, wrapped gift to her husband, cradling it in her arms against the cold. The woman heard her cries and rushed into the night to care for her, bringing her quickly back to her husband, waiting anxiously at the door. The baby girl, left alone, seemed healthy enough. Her pale skin rosy red in the frost, she otherwise seemed fit as a fiddle. Not even a year old, the couple guessed. Taking her in, they cared for the child, for they were too young yet to have a child of their own. Avoiding parental roles, as the baby could have easily been their sibling, the husband and wife kept their distance. Because the couple traveled, carrying their home as most Kasumarii did, the girl grew as they moved. She was always in shape, running, playing, hardly daring to stand still.

The couple named her Joey, for she could have been a baby boy with her rambunctious nature. The couple refrained from using a last name, giving her any parental tie to them she might assume. As Joey grew into a young teenager, she came to recognize the couple as her brother and sister, and never asked a question of her parents. Because they rarely stayed in a single place, Joey had no notion of a family structure anyway, and their sibling disguise worked well. To pass the time, the couple taught Jo to fight, gifting her with two simply crafted moonblades and a belt to carry them. Joey was taught hand to hand combat, all the while enduring the snowy climate of the Cyhalloian Island. Her muscles hardened and Jo became a tough, unmovable young lady who knew well how to survive.

Fascinated when they reached the port city of Carabrand, the couple suggested Joey board the next ship with the exchange students, to learn in a warmer, very different culture and climate(That was fast. I'm sure people living for many years with other people will not simply go away from them, unless something happened.). Bidding farewell to the couple, Joey set sail, landing on the eastern coast of Southern Santharia, near Carmalad and the Ancythrian Sea. It was there Jo found the Black Butterfly Rovers. Fascinated by their charm, and their skills in dancing and comedic tricks, Joey was drawn to them, and they invited her to join them.

With her already jovial state of mind, quick reflexes, and wit-as well as her familiarity with constant travel-(space)Jo fit in quite well. She obtained the butterfly tattoo on the back of her neck, and soon began to travel again, this time with a larger crowd. Joey had many acquaintances among the Rovers, but never a real place among them. She learned the useful acts of thieving, as well as the ability to sneak lightly on foot, but never made any real close human connections. Joey, by this time in her life, had mastered the art of acquainting herself with another, but never forming that bond.

The Rovers quickly learned of Jo's uncanny ability with her moonblades, and she was at the forefront of the regime used to take care of those who would do wrong against the band. Instead of joining in on the acting, dances, and tricks, Jo would spend her time scouring the city, getting information and making sure the Rovers were safe. Joey, still young and inexperienced, hardly gave a second thought when on duty. She could deftly perform an assassination without another person to help her, her moonblades always serving their purpose well, and she never was caught. Notorious throughout all the Rovers, Jo's confidence grew with her skill and she was hired out for personal use as well.

Joey found herself seeking more jobs outside the Rovers than within, although she did face difficulty due to the tattoo on her neck, she was able to hide it with her rat-tail strands of hair in order to obtain a job. The morality within the group pushed her away, for Jo found she had very little to do other than gathering information. She had become a silent assassin, a dangerous and feared addition to the reputation of the band. Soon, Joey chose to say goodbye to the few people she knew, and set out with a full purse, knowing anywhere her skill had been used in the past, she could obtain work again.     

Weapons: Joey carries two moonblades at her hips. Both simply crafted, they are curved and slim and fit well at her sides. Jo doesn't try to hide them, and there are indents in the hilts where her small hands fit perfectly.

Belongings: Aside from her moonblades, Jo carries a small purse full of coins, soft gloves, and a small pack with warmer clothing from her home island of Guldor.

Familiars: None.

Have a nice day.
Logged

A weak mind is a deadly foe.
Thorgas Ironforge
Buri
Thorgas' theme song
Jo
Friendly Assassin
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 145


Human, Kasumarii


« Reply #10 on: September 02, 2007, 12:23:39 PM »

I have edited in pink. Thanks for your suggestions and taking the time to read it over.

I am still thinking of another weakness or two.

Also, I understand what I title is, I'm just not sure yet what mine will be.

Thanks again, Thorgas.
Logged

"Find it in you, raise your eyes, look beyond the place you stand."
miss Jo.
Jo
Friendly Assassin
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 145


Human, Kasumarii


« Reply #11 on: September 02, 2007, 04:59:20 PM »

Also, in regards to what you said Alassiel, I changed the hair.. Blond it is!  Pet :P
Logged

"Find it in you, raise your eyes, look beyond the place you stand."
miss Jo.
Thorgas Ironforge
Ironforge Pyromancer
Mini-mod
***
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 1540


Dwarf, Mitharim


« Reply #12 on: September 02, 2007, 09:36:21 PM »

Better think of a title fast. You'll get my approval once you have thought of one befitting your character.
Logged

A weak mind is a deadly foe.
Thorgas Ironforge
Buri
Thorgas' theme song
Jo
Friendly Assassin
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 145


Human, Kasumarii


« Reply #13 on: September 02, 2007, 10:39:33 PM »

I think I got it.. thank you Thorgas!!  :D
Logged

"Find it in you, raise your eyes, look beyond the place you stand."
miss Jo.
Thorgas Ironforge
Ironforge Pyromancer
Mini-mod
***
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 1540


Dwarf, Mitharim


« Reply #14 on: September 02, 2007, 10:48:27 PM »

First approval given.
Logged

A weak mind is a deadly foe.
Thorgas Ironforge
Buri
Thorgas' theme song
Pages: [1] 2   Go Up
Print
Jump to:  

Recent Posts
[February 10, 2022, 09:09:05 PM]

[February 10, 2022, 09:07:54 PM]

[July 30, 2021, 06:03:43 PM]

[July 30, 2021, 06:03:25 PM]

[July 30, 2021, 06:01:01 PM]

[February 12, 2021, 07:16:33 AM]

[December 13, 2020, 12:16:51 AM]

[December 13, 2020, 12:16:21 AM]

[October 05, 2020, 02:58:40 PM]

[March 19, 2020, 03:47:44 AM]
Members
Total Members: 2849
Latest: abigailjordan
Stats
Total Posts: 214569
Total Topics: 8052
Online Today: 30
Online Ever: 216
(November 30, 2006, 09:08:03 AM)
Users Online
Users: 0
Guests: 23
Total: 23

Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2005, Simple Machines
TinyPortal v0.9.8 © Bloc
Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!
Theme based on Cerberus with Risen adjustments by Bloc and Krelia
Modified By Artimidor for The Santharian Dream
gfx
gfxgfx gfxgfx