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Author Topic: Tojzek Kouba/ Caltharian/ Scavanger  (Read 4424 times)
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Tojzek Kouba
Young Sentinel
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Posts: 49


Human, Caltharian


« on: October 18, 2007, 02:56:30 PM »

Hello!  My friend found this site a few weeks ago and when she showed it to me, we both decided to make characters and role play them together as brother and sister, so I hope that is ok!  Her character is Jituska Kouba, my character's sister.  I haven't quite finished my history yet, but hopefully the rest will be up today or tonight.  In the meantime feel free to comment on what I have here!  Thankyou  grin

Name
Tojzek Kouba

Gender
Male

Age
16

Race
Human

Tribe
 Caltharian

Occupation
Usually some sort of heavy manual work, but whatever people will pay him for really.

Title
Young Sentinel

Overview
Tojzek is an independent young man: relying solely on his sister (Jituska) for moral support; just as she relies on him to provide what money they can earn.  He has a certain ruthlessness and determination born from desperation and this often means he puts their own wellfare high above anything else.

Appearance

Height
A little under 1 ped, 2 fores and 2 palmspans

Weight
1 Pygge, 1 Heb and 5 ods

Hair Colour
Dirty blonde dreadlocks, though even without the grime the shade would be darker than his sister's.

Eye Colour
A pale brown.

Physical Appearance
Tojzek’s stocky Caltharian build has been limited by his poor diet as a child.  Maybe he will fill out as he gets older, but for now he is a little shorter than usual for his age and possesses a figure best described as wiry.  The flesh on his arms seems to almost twist as it wraps itself around his skeleton-like frame, and his chest is rippled with indents from both ribs and abs - giving him a slightly ugly, unnatural appearance.  His face has a somewhat hollowed look to it, often becoming more pronounced in winter or when food is scarce for other reasons.  At these times the muscle becomes less too, especially when he has been without a job and not had to use them.

His face itself is unremarkable; a rather square jaw, a stubby nose dotted with a couple of lonely freckles and nondescript brownish eyes, all surrounded by his grimy dreadlocks.   These tangled locks fall to the nape of his neck and are rather tatty at the ends because when they get too long Tojzek will simply hack an inch or so off each one in turn.  Unfortunately he rarely has a mirror handy when the time comes so the overall effect is rather dishevelled.

Tojzek’s movements have the confidence of someone practiced at looking confident even when he isn’t; his face is rather inexpressive and you can often catch him scanning the area around him not-so-subtly.  Though he does not appear openly hostile, his body language does not welcome strangers either; he can seem rather tense and protective of Jituska when he first meets someone.  However as (or if) the conversation flows smoothly he tends to loosen up; his voice becomes less strained and he can sit without fidgeting.

Clothing
The cloth of Tojzek's trousers and shirt are faded with age and torn in places.  His shirt is a non-descript pale grey and his once-bright turquoise trousers are now closer to the colour of the sea on a cloudy morning.  The trousers are rather baggy and held up by a length of string which sits inside the waistband.  The cloth has then been folded over the top and stitched with the string inside the fold, preventing them slipping from their already-low position on his hips.  His shirt is slightly too large and thus doesn’t quite sit on his shoulders correctly, gaping a bit at the front where one of the buttons is missing.  The sleeves are supposed to be short, but instead cover about two thirds of his upper arms, and the greying material falls a bit further than it should, almost hiding his bottom from view.

Tojzek’s other shirt is one which he tries to keep clean, or at least cleaner, and doesn’t often wear it for travelling.  This way he has one for when he wants to look smarter.  It is a leafy-green colour - surprisingly rich compared to the rest of his wardrobe - and still has all its buttons securely fastened.

He also possesses a cheap, undyed woollen cloak, fastened with a wooden toggle, which he can wrap around himself as a blanket at night as well as using it for extra warmth in the daytime.  Like his other attire, the cloak is rather old and the surface of the fabric is covered in little pulls and snags where the fibres have caught on various things.  However it is warm and rather large which means he can get both him and his petite sister under it at night if they cuddle close.

Tojzek’s feet are covered by a pair of very old, battered dark leather shoes, which one of his brief employers gave to him instead of throwing them out.  One of the soles is coming away at the front and Tojzek often wraps a piece of string or rope around it to prevent mud and slush from getting scooped up and seeping onto his toes.

Personality
After having to scavenge off the streets for most of his life to supplement the meagre amount of food his parents gave him, Tojzek’s thoughts often revolve around his next meal.  Morals come in second place; he has no qualms about stealing or fighting if it provides him and his sister with some money, and would accept almost any form of employment if it led to large rewards.  However Tojzek does not go seeking violence; he sees it as an often necessary part of his world but doesn't want to fight any more than he has to.  He hardly ever fights in anger, more to protect what he sees as his i.e. his sister and their few possessions. 

Tojzek's outlook on life is rather depressing as his luck rarely extends beyond a good meal and warm bed.  So lives for the moment; only thinking about those small hopes and trusting his on-the-moment decisions to get him out of trouble. He believes that in a tight situation any decision is often better than none, which is often true, but can also make him rather reckless.  Jituska’s optimism can often cheer him up, but deep down he doesn’t believe there is anything better for him and if he was left alone he would go back to his brooding ways. 

Whilst not being easily described as “calm” Tojzek rarely looses control of his emotions.  This is partly due to the fact that not many things anger him; the only opinion he really cares for is his sister’s so insults from others can be ignored.  The young man also simply prefers to keep his feelings out of sight.

Due to his need to protect Jituska, Tojzek is unhappy and wary around people he doesn’t know.  He is neither friendly nor openly hostile but his lack of enthusiasm in answering the usual “Tell us a little about yourself” questions can often put people off chatting to him, as can his inability to buy a round of drinks.

Strengths and Weaknesses

Strengths

~ Dirty Fighter ~ Tojzek has learnt to fight on the streets with the other street kids, so whilst he may not have any type of finesse, he is quick-thinking, practiced and not afraid of combat.  He is quite willing to use anything as a weapon if need be; a tree branch or a kitchen knife if they are close to hand, his fists, knees and teeth if nothing else presents itself.  This rough style would be no match for someone properly trained with a formal weapon, but it might be enough to persuade them to look for an easier target instead.

~ Hair Braider ~ After plaiting his sisters hair every so often for the last few years, Tojzek has become quite good at it.  He finds the contact both relaxing and intimate, and would be unlikely to do this for anyone else.

~Wiry Strength ~ Although there is not a lot of it, most of the flesh that clings to Tojzek’s bones is muscle.  This strength is an advantage in the laborious jobs he sometimes manages to get, as well as in a fight.

~Sister~ Without his sister, Jituska, Tojzek would have become a much darker person a long time ago.  He trusts her immensely and would do pretty much anything for her as he feels protecting her is the only thing that gives his life meaning.  She helps him when they get into trouble, as well as in everyday, practical tasks.

Weaknesses

~ Dishevelled Image ~ Unlike a lot of the Caltharian people, Tojzek does not take good care of his personal image and thus is often dirty and smelly.  This does not encourage people to come near him or employ him.

~Poverty~ Lack of money and needing to support both him and his sister can mean that Tojzek often doesn’t get enough to eat or anywhere warm to stay, and the hunger saps his usual strength as well as making him listless and moody.

~Pessimist~ His life of bare survival has made it hard for Tojzek to have an optimistic view of the future; he reacts to events as they happen rather than trying to plan ahead. This in turn means he is often forced to act quickly and take his chances, sometimes leaving him in extremely tight spots.

~Overprotective~ After what their father did to Jituska, Tojzek dislikes any man going near her.  He is aware of the problem and tries to contain himself, but if he thought the man was becoming too close he would quickly intervene whatever the consequences.  Part of his mind is always on where she is and what she is doing, and such a responsibility is hard for so young a man.  The shield he provides between her and the rest of the world often puts off strangers from entering into conversation with him too.

History
Tojzek’s family live in a house on the outskirts of the port Calamad the main town in Caltharia.  Even though his mother was known for her skill in creating spectacularly white cloth, neither of his parents worked on a regular basis so they often lacked proper clothing or enough to eat.  His parents always got first pick of the food that was on offer, even if that meant he got very little or was forced to eat leftovers.  They failed to see him as their child and someone they should provide for; he did not contribute and was therefore barely better than the rats that stole from them.  The fact that his father did nothing but laze around all day did not seem to rock this solid belief.

When he was four, Jituska was born, so presumably his father must be doing something around the house, if not anything profitable in the usual sense of the word.  To his parents the tiny baby was just another mouth to feed and another thing to look after, but Tojzek was rather fascinated by the tiny child.  He found it almost miraculous that she could be contented so easily; a smile or a strip of bright material waved in front of her would make her gurgle and smile in happiness.  In fact she seemed the only happy thing in the poverty of the house.

As soon as he could be taught to do them, Tojzek’s mother set him tasks around the house, tidying, cleaning, mending and running errands to clients whenever she could be bothered to produce anything.  However, he could never please her and perhaps she never wanted him to, because that would deprive her of the outlet for her frustrations over her husband’s lack of work. His favourite task by far was watching his new sister; she at least seemed pleased to see him, pleased that he was alive.  Trying to make up games that she could understand and enjoy was a challenge for him too and prevented him from dwelling on his otherwise dismal life.

Unfortunately as he got older Tojzek’s mother began laying even more tasks on his young shoulders, thinking up chores when she had none left and punishing him when he couldn’t complete them in time.  Often denied dinner or given more endless jobs, the boy began to spend longer and longer away from the house on the streets of the town.  He scavenged or begged from strangers to supplement his diet, or held the rich men’s horses in return for a few coins.  Soon he learnt to fight too, as there was always another boy ready to steal his earnings from him as soon as he had them.  Although he was himself thin and fairly weak, he at least had a dry place to sleep and a little other food, and therefore some advantages over the street-orphans he regularly fought.  However, they were already skilled and he mainly learnt their way of fighting with their fists or anything else that came to hand from getting beaten by them.

His first real job came along when he was around thirteen; helping to lift luggage and crates onto the boats that frequented the harbour.  It was sheer luck which got him this postition.  He just happened to be standing near the boat, idly watching the team and delaying going home for a few minutes longer.  It was cold and the ground was slippy with ice.  Even when they were taking care their feet skidded every so often on the floor and it was vaguely amusing to wonder which one was going to fall first.  However is was not a person, but one of the boxes which fell as a man stumbled only a ped or so from where the boy was standing.  The hastily-made crate crunched on impact, and all the men jumped back, obviously not willing to get close to what was in there. A few moments later and the crate seemed to explode with barking as the creature inside recovered from the impact, throwing itself against its cage.  The battered box gave in, and a small, white and really quite angry little dog bounded out, yapping its little head off.  In that moment of hesitation, whilst the men transporting stuff to the boat waited for each other to react, the little canine would of got away, but Tojzek was close and he jumped for it.  He grabbed the leather strap around its neck and wrapped his other arm around its wriggling backside, preventing it from escaping or biting him as it was now trying to do.  As Tojzek heard whilst he was waiting for them to bring another crate, this animal was the prize possession of a very rich merchant just about to set sail.  The harbour master ( being extremely glad of the boy’s quick reactions which had probably saved him a lot of business) thanked him by always choosing him to take messages or hold horses instead of any other boys.  Later, when they needed an extra hand, he gave him the job as a porter.

After that Tojzek had a series of temporary jobs around the harbour.  The boy would do pretty much anything; cleaning, sweeping, lifting or running errands, as long as he got a few sans for his efforts.  It was known that the harbour master trusted him, so he was not chased off like the other street children who hung around.  His mother often tried to take the money off him, claiming it was “rent” but the wily kid still managed to keep bits of it, normally spending it on food before he came home, or simply avoiding going back for as long as possible.  In fact there was only really one thing that kept him from running away; his sister.  She was no longer the happy little girl who had once been such a comfort to him.  Although they were still close, he knew there was something that she wasn't telling him.  Not knowing what the problem was, he only worried about her and tried to smuggle a few edible treats back for her once in a while.

However eventually Jituska did tell him what was bothering her; what his father had been doing to her.  As her story unfolded Tojzek felt his anger grow, uncontrollable, sickening, boiling and screaming at his insides.  The father he had always regarded as stupid and useless, suddenly became a figure of hatred to rival his mother.  Never in all his fights had he felt this need for action, the desire to rip and maim, the call to release it upon the lazy evil man.  How could he do this to her, spoil something so pure and happy?  The anger danced in his eyes and his body trembled under his passion’s uncontrollable demands.

He turned back to Jituska, took one look at her scared face and it faded.  She thought he was angry at her? The hatred melted, but didn’t leave.  It remained, though softened, growling from somewhere deep inside him. He took his sister in his arms and reassured her, spilling all his own thoughts and frustrations, how he had wanted to leave for so long and had only stayed because she needed looking after.  He felt a pang of guilt at these words.  What a good job he had done of that.  Why hadn’t he prevented this?  How come he hadn’t known?  He trembled further as he held her, convincing her to run away with him as he dried her tears.  The young man vowed to himself never to let anything happen to her again, to protect her from now onwards and make up for his failure before.

Tojzek did not revenge himself upon his parents; doing nothing but steal a few essential objects before he and Jituska left.  Anything more would have upset his sister, and too much had happened to her already.  They could be left to themselves, and let them rot for all he cared.  However his anger and guilt went with him, held inside him. and he often feels these emotions rise again if the girl is threatened.  There have also been a few times when the responsibility of looking after them both has grown too much, and, in rare cases, caused him to abandon her for short periods of time.  However he always returns and deep down he knows he always will.   They have now spent a little over a year travelling together, going from place to place in search of work.

Weapons
One old, dirty kitchen knife he stole from his mother when they left.  Unfortunately he possesses no scabbard and so must keep it wrapped in his bag until he needs it, leaving him somewhat vulnerable to surprise attacks.

Belongings
A bag, which carries both his and Jituska's possessions
A knife described above
An old waterskin
A spare shirt
« Last Edit: October 22, 2007, 05:35:37 AM by Vesk Lyricahl » Logged

Seh'nara Celebrindal
Swift Ranger
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Gender: Female
Posts: 2075


Elf, Tethinrhim


« Reply #1 on: October 18, 2007, 03:16:44 PM »

Hi Tojzek!

Welcome to Santharia! Your CD seems to be coming along pretty well, but I have just one problem. How exactly is hair brading a strength? Does it have any impact on his life?

Regards,
Seh'nara
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Simonne Miller
Guest
« Reply #2 on: October 18, 2007, 03:23:52 PM »

A strength doesn't have to have a 'great' impact on a life. I think the hairbraiding thing is just a fun way to refer to the CD of Tojzek's sister, isn't that so Tojzek? If he's good at it, why wouldn't it be a strength? Most guys find hairbraiding very difficult, you know ;)
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Tojzek Kouba
Young Sentinel
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Posts: 49


Human, Caltharian


« Reply #3 on: October 18, 2007, 05:39:29 PM »

Thankyou for the comments Seh'nara  grin About the hairbraiding - I read on another persons CD that we should compare our character to the average peasant, and as Simonne points out I don't think most boys would have this skill.

 It is also a strength because it means Jituska looks a little neater than she would otherwise, and she uses her cute looks to get them food.

I hope that answers your question  :)

And Simonne, yes it does refer to Jituska's CD, it shows the bond between the two of them and its nice to have something he will only do for her.
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Mannix
Ranger of Shadow
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Elf, Aellenrhim


« Reply #4 on: October 19, 2007, 06:46:18 PM »

Hey Tojzek
I like your CD!
The appearance, clothing, personality, history and strengths and weaknesses are a good length with lots of detail.
You wrote 'weight' under your height, but you did not actually say the weight of the character.
Overall its really good!

Mannix

P.S I didn't find any overcrowded sentences.  Good work! :D
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Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
Mannix Vaelos ~ Character Creation Help ~ FAQs ~ Restrictions
Tojzek Kouba
Young Sentinel
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Posts: 49


Human, Caltharian


« Reply #5 on: October 19, 2007, 06:52:36 PM »

Oops :P  Any idea on what weight he would be?  I am really poor at judging.


Thankyou for the compliments blush The rest of my history will be up very soon after lunch and then I'm sure I will enjoy reading yours   ;)

Thanks again for reading through it!
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Jituska Kouba
Hungry Nymphet
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Posts: 58


Human, Caltharian


« Reply #6 on: October 19, 2007, 06:54:59 PM »

Teehee, how now, brother mine! I was going to come in here and poke you into finishing your history but I see that's not necessary...

But I'm annoying, therefore

*pokes Tojzek*  evil
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Tojzek Kouba
Young Sentinel
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Posts: 49


Human, Caltharian


« Reply #7 on: October 19, 2007, 08:36:27 PM »

*is poked*

Its up already, its up!!  :D ...these little sisters.....annoying....
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Mannix
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Elf, Aellenrhim


« Reply #8 on: October 20, 2007, 10:17:45 AM »

Hi again Tojzek
I've looked through your CD again, now that I'm not so tired, and have found a few things:
(the corrections are in red)

"Tojzek is an independent young man, relying solely on his sister, Jituska, for moral support; just as she relies on him to provide what money they can earn.  "

"Tojzek’s movements have the confidence of someone practiced at looking confident even when he isn’t; his face is rather inexpressive and you can often catch him scanning the area not-so-subtly."  This could be change into two sentences for easier understanding, but I understood it well.

"His shirt is a non-descript pale grey colour and his once-bright turquoise trousers are now closer to the colour of the sea on a cloudy morning."
 
"The trousers are rather baggy and held up by a length of string which sits inside the waistband; the cloth has then been folded over the top and stitched to prevent them slipping from their already-low position on his hips."  Maybe change this into two sentences, not essential.


"Like his other attire, the cloak is rather old, and the surface of the fabric is covered in little pulls and snags where the fibres have caught on various things."

"Tojzek’s feet are covered by a pair of very old, battered dark leather shoes, which one of his brief employers gave to him instead of throwing them out."

"As such his outlook on life is rather depressing as he can rarely hope for anything bigger than a good meal and warm bed, so he lives for the moment, only thinking about those small hopes and trusting his on-the-moment decisions to get him out of trouble. He believes that in a tight situation any decision is often better than none, which is often true, but can also make him rather reckless.  Jituska’s optimism can often cheer him up, but deep down he doesn’t believe there is anything better for him so if left alone will go back to his brooding ways."  These are overcrowded sentences.

"This is partly due to the fact that not many things anger him; the only opinion he really cares for is his sister’s so insults from others can be ignored." Maybe change this into two sentences, not saying you have to.

"As soon as he could be taught to do them, Tojzek’s mother set him tasks around the house, tidying, cleaning, mending and running errands to clients whenever she could be bothered to produce anything."

"There have been a few times when the responsibility of looking after them both has grown too much, and, in rare cases, caused him to abandon her for short periods of time, but he always returns and deep down he knows he double spacing here always will."

"A bag, which carries both his and Jituska's possessions"
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Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
Mannix Vaelos ~ Character Creation Help ~ FAQs ~ Restrictions
Twén Aråerwén
Death's Mistress
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Gender: Female
Posts: 4928


Elf, Ifer’hém


« Reply #9 on: October 20, 2007, 01:16:25 PM »

Hello Tojzek and welcome to Santharia! I was eagerly awaiting your arrival after reading your sisters CD ;). I only have but a single comment: It seems your cute little sister rushed you a bit in the creation of this character. Though the errors are only grammatical ones as mentioned above. If bad grammar were an exclusive factor in denial of approval we would all be guilty. I will place the pencil icon to give you a chance to go over this one last time. Once you are happy with it, please return the ! icon. I do not see an approval far off for this character.
~Sincerely~
Cáo fá cár'tuulén:Twen Araerwen
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•º•The spell fell upon the crowd like a dragon, •º•
•º•ancient and full of death.•º•
_.·´¯) Twén Aråerwén's CD(¯`·._
Tojzek Kouba
Young Sentinel
Approved Character
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Posts: 49


Human, Caltharian


« Reply #10 on: October 21, 2007, 04:48:59 AM »

I shouldn't trust word to check it for me really :P

I'll have another read through and see if I can't rephrase the more confusing bits...

Thanks Twen and Mannix  grin

Edit:  Ok, it is now finished to my satisfation  ;)
« Last Edit: October 21, 2007, 07:47:30 PM by Tojzek Kouba » Logged

Twén Aråerwén
Death's Mistress
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Elf, Ifer’hém


« Reply #11 on: October 22, 2007, 05:02:04 AM »

Hiya Tojzek!
Quote
Edit:  Ok, it is now finished to my satisfation
~First Approval~
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•º•The spell fell upon the crowd like a dragon, •º•
•º•ancient and full of death.•º•
_.·´¯) Twén Aråerwén's CD(¯`·._
Vesk Lyricahl
Woeful Rover
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Human, Eyelian


« Reply #12 on: October 22, 2007, 05:36:08 AM »

Second approval and titled. ;)
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