Adventures of Caelereth

Archives => Approved Characters Archive II => Topic started by: Aroura Roselyn on March 31, 2007, 12:57:17 AM



Title: Aroura Roselyn / Centoraurian / Jeweller
Post by: Aroura Roselyn on March 31, 2007, 12:57:17 AM
Name: Aroura Roselyn

Gender: Female

Age: 21

Race: Human

Tribe: Centoraurian

Occupation: Jeweller

Title: Maiden of the Rose

Appearance-
Height: 1 peds, 2 fore

Weight: 1 pygge, 3 heb, 1 hafeb

Hair colour: Golden blonde

Hair style: Long and curly

Eye colour: Brown

Physical appearance: She is quite tall, but has a small frame. She is physically weak with very long and slender legs and quite a womanly figure. Her hair is long and goes down to her lower back, it is very curly and thick with a lot of life. She has pale skin but her eye's burn a fiery red. She is quite ghostly in appearance. Her eyes are naturally brown but in the right light they almost seem to gleam a fiery red. She has a very small and delicate nose and quite thick lips, with a bit of a pout. 

Clothes: She wears a long red leather cape draped over her shoulders held with a rose shaped, diamond brooch and underneath she wears just a simple black dress down to her ankles with a loose belt round her waist. Her shoes are plain black with flat soles. Her clothes are of a good quality, the black dress is made of cotton and is very soft with a leather belt, she uses to hold her sword and small black leather bag. The cape is made out of leather and so are her shoes. She wears a small gold ring on her little finger engraved with the word "stranger".   

Personality: She is very shy and has no real friends; she has been left as a bit of a loner who likes to keep her feelings to herself. But if she wants to she can be extremely persuasive and can get people to do what she wants, so she can get her own way. When she meets somebody new she can get very defensive, as she does not have very good social skills and is scared to risk getting her feelings hurt if she got close to somebody and opens up her emotions, then that person lets her down.

She likes having time alone to just think and relax; she walks for miles by herself just to hear some of the wonderful sounds in the world. When it is silent she likes just being with her thoughts and does not like being in very noisy places. She likes teaching herself new skills and trying new methods of making her jewelery. When she was 17 she met a stranger who taught her how to use her sword and since then she has been practicing a lot and elaborating on some of the methods he taught her.

She most hates having to stay in one place for too long so tries to move around a lot. She likes meeting new people from different cultures and learning about the history of their culture and how they live.

She is a very complex person, in private she can be very emotional and if she does get a friend, she likes opening up and telling them how she feels. But she is worried about opening up to most people in case they don't like her and criticize her for it. A lot of this is because of her traumatic past. Aroura is not very tactful in choosing her words so she tries not to speak to much to people she does not know, and she can normally tell what other people's personalities are like by the way they, speak walk and move. Aroura can almost always tell if a person is lying, even if it only show's up in their eyes for a split second, she will not miss a thing.   
Strengths:
•Many people take pity on her due to her weak and feeble appearance.
•She has a good sense of direction, and is very adventurous.
•She is very cunning and persuasive so she can make people do what she wants them to do and most of the time she gets what she wants.
•She is a fast learner.

Weaknesses:
•She is very weak and unable to protect herself if she does get attacked.
•When she goes too far away from home she is vulnerable to attack, or getting her supplies stolen.
•She does not have very good social skills.
•She is quite forgetful

Magic: None

History: When she was only 3 days old, her house was broken into by a mysterious stranger, who killed both her parents and stole most of their belongings. In the early morning one of the tribal elders went to visit the house, where she found the dead bodies of both Aroura’s parents. Just as she was about to go back to tell the rest of the tribe, she heard Aroura’s cry, she went over to the cot where she found Aroura lying, covered in the blood of her parents. Also in the cot lying next to Aroura, there was a sword covered in blood, presumed to be the weapon used to kill Aroura's parents. The elder picked Aroura out of the cot and the sword, and then took her to her house.

The elder never told Aroura about her parents and who they were. It was agreed by the tribe leaders that she should have as normal childhood as possible, and when the elder who agreed to raise her dies, then Aroura would be told what happened to her parents. Aroura was a bit of a loner as a child and never had any real friends. She spent a lot of time with the elder who raised her, learning how to make high quality jewelery, when she got older she started to sell her jewelery as a business.

When Aroura was only 15, the elder died leaving her six silverbard coin, the helcrani shortsword engraved with the word "stranger", that she had found in the cot all those years ago, a diamond brooch shaped like a rose that the elder had made especially for Aroura, and a note telling her about her parents and what had happened to them, but it did not tell her who they were. Since that day, Aroura has vowed to find out who her parents where and avenge their death.

After this Aroura became a wonderer. She would walk for miles around, meeting a lot of new people where ever she went. When Aroura was about 17, she met a man on her travels. He never told her his name, but they got on really well, he was the first and only friend she had ever had. He taught her how to use her sword, they spent 3 weeks together. When she woke up one morning he was simply gone, he did not even leave a note, but on the floor where he had been sleeping, she found a gold ring engraved with the word "stranger". The same as on the sword used to kill her parents. 

After she realized, she had possibly come face to face with her parent’s killer, she started to travel all round Santharia looking for him. Every now and again she would stop to ask some people in a nearby village if they knew a man who simply went by the name “stranger”, but who ever she asked it did not get her any closer to the truth.

Weapons: A Helcrani shortsword engraved with the word "stranger”, which is presumed to be the weapon used to kill Aroura's parents. She carries it in her belt and always keeps it with her, because she wants to kill the man who killed her parents with the same sword that he killed her parents with.

Belongings:
A small leather bag where she keeps.
2 silverbard.
Possibly a couple of copperbard.
She normally has at least 10 sans with her to buy the food and drink.
In the bag she also carries 2 necklaces, 1 bracelet, 1 brooch and 2 rings she made to sell to make money.
2 small loaves of Loibl bread.
1 spare plain black dress.
The diamond brooch shaped like a rose, left to her by the elder of the tribe.
A gold ring engraved with the word "stranger", left by the man she suspects to have killed her parents, she thought he was her friend.


Title: Re: Lady Roselin
Post by: Amarth Edhel on March 31, 2007, 03:26:10 AM
I know i'm new but ypu need to include more. If you need help ask a Moderator like Mina.
Or look at The Character Creation page.


Title: Re: Lady Roselin
Post by: Mina on March 31, 2007, 03:27:16 AM
She hasn't finished her CD yet.  You can tell from the posticon she's using. 


Title: Re: Lady Roselin
Post by: Prince Erebus on March 31, 2007, 04:54:29 AM
indeed...


Title: Re: Lady Roselyn
Post by: Alassiel Telrúnya on March 31, 2007, 05:23:25 PM
And now she is finished. I'll go over your CD soon today, Aroura! :D


Title: Re: Lady Roselyn
Post by: Drasil Razorfang on April 01, 2007, 12:51:50 AM
I am sorry Lady Roselyn, but the Crystal of Light and Beads of Youth you describe are considered artifacts, which are temporarily banned.  Unfortunatley, these will have to be removed from your CD.


Title: Re: Lady Roselyn
Post by: Seh'nara Celebrindal on April 01, 2007, 01:09:12 AM
Just wanna confirm, is it "Lady Roselyn" or "Lady Roselin"?


Title: Re: Lady Roselyn
Post by: Drasil Razorfang on April 01, 2007, 01:12:23 AM
Oh yeah...your display name has to match your characters name exactly no alternate spellings please.


Title: Re: Lady Roselyn
Post by: Aroura Roselyn on April 01, 2007, 01:23:16 AM
It is ment to be Lady Roselyn but I do not know how to change my user name.


Title: Re: Lady Roselyn
Post by: Alassiel Telrúnya on April 01, 2007, 01:25:03 AM
Go to your Profile, and click on Account related settings.


Title: Re: Lady Roselyn
Post by: Aroura Roselyn on April 01, 2007, 01:29:11 AM
I have changed that now, thankyou for the help. :)


Title: Re: Lady Roselyn
Post by: Aroura Roselyn on April 01, 2007, 01:30:39 AM
just wondering if you could tell me, is there anything else wrong with my CD, so I can change it. :)


Title: Re: Lady Roselyn
Post by: Alassiel Telrúnya on April 01, 2007, 01:36:37 AM
Well, Seh'nara's currently working on a Uri for you, so I'll be lazy, and not post the same thing. :D Besides, she's a much better checker. I tend to miss lots of things out.


Title: Re: Lady Roselyn
Post by: Seh'nara Celebrindal on April 01, 2007, 01:49:38 AM
Hey, Lady Roselyn! My comments will be in green.

Name: Aroura Roselyn

Gender: female

Age: 21

Race: human

Tribe: The Krean men

Occupation: jeweller

Title: Lady Roselyn

Appearance-
Height: 1.75 peds

Wight: 1.3 pygge

Hair colour: golden blonde

Hair style: long and curly

Eye colour: red
(Put everything from appearance onwards between tribe and occupation. As in the top appearance.)

Physical appearance: She is quite tall, but has a small frame. She is physically weak and has very long and slender legs. Her hair is long and goes down to her lower back; she has pale skin but her eyes burn a fiery red. She is very dark, like a ghost and has very small delicate features. (Can a ghost be dark? I thought they were mostly transparent...)

Clothing: She wears a long red cape draped over her shoulders held with a diamond brooch and underneath she wears just a simple black dress down to her ankles.

Shoes: she wears plain black shoes with a flat sole.

Jewellery: she wears a chain round her that has the crystal of light on it and a bracelet that has 6 beads of youth on it.
(You can combine the clothing, shoes and jewellery with physical appearances.)

Personality: she is very shy and has no real friends, most people take an instant dislike to her and she has been left as a bit of a loner who likes to keep herself to herself. But if she wants to she can be extremely persuasive and can get people to do what she wants them to so she can get her own way.

Strengths: many people take pity on her due to her weak and feeble appearance.
Her magic powers could make anybody unable to attach her.(???)
She is good at finding her way round and has a good knowledge of the area around where she lives, very adventurous.
She is very cunning and persuasive so she can make people do what she wants them to do and most of the time she gets what she wants.

Weaknesses: She is very weak and unable to protect herself if she does get attacked.
If she does not see her attack, she would not have time to perform her magic leaving her open for attack.
She has been known to be too adventurous and end up walking miles away from home to a place she is not familiar with.
She does not have very good social skills and some people take an instant dislike to her.
(Please put bullets. Easier for us.  :))

Magic: She has the voice of an angel and when she sings it makes everybody around her loose all their energy and can make them fall into a temporary sleep like state making them unable to attack. (I'm not sure if your type of magic is allowed, cos magic is generally very rare. You'll have to wait for the mods to say something.)

History: when she was only 3 days old her house was broken into by a mysterious stranger, who killed both her parents and stole most of their belongings. In the early morning one of the tribal elders went to visit the house, where she found the dead bodies of both Aroura’s parents. Just as she was about to go back to tell the rest of the tribe she heard Aroura’s cry, she went over to the cot where she found Aroura lying covered in the blood of her parents, her eyes burning a fiery red. Also in the cot lying next to Aroura there was a sword covered in blood, presumed to be the weapon used to kill Aroura's parents. The elder picked Aroura out of the cot and the sword then took her to her house. She raised Aroura as her own but she always knew Aroura was very different from all the other children and it was said her eyes were stained red with the death and blood of her parents.
When Aroura was only 15 the elder died leaving her with nothing but the sword she had found in the cot all those years ago, a diamond broach the elder had made especially for Aroura and a note telling her about her parents and why she was different from the other children. Since that day, Aroura has vowed to avenge the death of her parents. (What did she do during her 15 years? Hobbies? Any training? Any particular friend? How did the others treat her? Was her history kept a secret from her?)  

Weapons: A sword that is presumed to be the weapon used to kill Aroura's parents. (Elaborate. How does it look like? Is it heavy? Did you learn to how use it? What colour is it?)

Belongings: The diamond brooch left to her by the elder of the tribe. (How does it look like? Is it in the shape of any particular thing?)


Okay, that was a rough check, but those are the thing that you need to put in. Hope we get approved soon!

Cheers,
Seh'nara


Title: Re: Lady Roselyn
Post by: Aroura Roselyn on April 01, 2007, 02:57:16 AM
Thank you, I have taken most of your advise and I hope it is better.


Title: Re: Lady Roselyn
Post by: Marenbar Blackforge on April 01, 2007, 05:23:42 AM
The Krean have been extinct for quite some time and aren't allowed to be played.


Title: Re: Lady Roselyn
Post by: Seh'nara Celebrindal on April 01, 2007, 12:53:27 PM
Deakfreak, you're not supposed to put your CD in someone else's CD thread. Make one thread yourself, please.


Title: Re: Lady Roselyn
Post by: Aroura Roselyn on April 01, 2007, 07:14:04 PM
Where does it say that the Krean are extinct?


Title: Re: Lady Roselyn
Post by: Seh'nara Celebrindal on April 01, 2007, 07:29:56 PM
The "restrictions" page. You can find it under "where to begin".


Title: Re: Lady Roselyn
Post by: Aroura Roselyn on April 01, 2007, 07:39:51 PM
Okay, thanks for telling me. :(


Title: Re: Lady Roselyn
Post by: Aroura Roselyn on April 02, 2007, 12:24:35 AM
Hi, I just have another question please. How do I know when I am ready to go on to character status 3, on the list?


Title: Re: Lady Roselyn
Post by: Alassiel Telrúnya on April 02, 2007, 12:39:22 AM
If you look at the Character Approving System, you'll see that only the first 2 icons have the word 'player' in yellow next to them. Those are the ones you can use. The Moderators and Administrators will decide when you are ready to go to the next stage, and they will change the icon for you, so don't bother yourself over them.


Title: Re: Lady Roselyn
Post by: Aroura Roselyn on April 02, 2007, 12:45:40 AM
Okay, thank you and happy birthday :)


Title: Re: Lady Roselyn
Post by: Alassiel Telrúnya on April 02, 2007, 12:48:04 AM
You're welcome and thank you. :lol:


Title: Re: Lady Roselyn
Post by: Aroura Roselyn on April 02, 2007, 01:55:49 AM
If anybody can see something wrong with my CD, I would appreciate very much if they could tell me.


Title: Re: Lady Roselyn
Post by: Alassiel Telrúnya on April 02, 2007, 01:58:26 AM
Could you give an explanation for why your eyes are red? And seeing as you've put what you wear in the physical appearance section, you could either separate the two or put 'Physical Appearance and Clothes' instead of just 'Physical Appearance'.


Title: Re: Lady Roselyn
Post by: Aroura Roselyn on April 02, 2007, 02:12:48 AM
I have changed the physical appearance and clothes part. I said in the history that it was never known why her eyes are red, but other people in the tribe said her eyes were stained red with the death and blood of her parents. I know this is not a very good explanation but to tell you the truth I really have not got the foggiest what else to say. thanks for the comments. :)
And I was just wondering, what type of money do they use in Santharia and how much is it all worth.
Thankyou.


Title: Re: Lady Roselyn
Post by: Alassiel Telrúnya on April 02, 2007, 02:14:02 AM
Look at the Santharian measurements for money.


Title: Re: Maiden of the Rose
Post by: Simonne Miller on April 02, 2007, 06:59:51 PM
Is it really, really important that her eyes are red? Because if it is, you should try to come up with a better explanation. Red is hardly a natural colour for humans. The explanation that you give now is, I'm afraid, not good enough to be accepted.

I find a little discrepancy in the way people see her. First you say that almost everyone takes in instant dislike to her, then you say that they will take pity on her. It's either the one or the other. If you dislike a person from the first moment you see him/her, will you go and take pity on him/her? I don't know about you, but I wouldn't.

You say that she spent three days with her friend and that he taught her how to use the sword. I don't know if you have ever tried sword fighting, but you need more than three days to learn anything. I don't even think you can cover the basics in three days.

With regard,
Simonne


Title: Re: Maiden of the Rose
Post by: Seh'nara Celebrindal on April 02, 2007, 07:23:54 PM
Look, Lady Roselyn, I'm so sorry that I gave you wrong advice for the appearance thingy. Cos I haven't looked at the Character Creation page for a while, and I didn't know they updated it. I'm so sorry.  :(


Title: Re: Maiden of the Rose
Post by: Aroura Roselyn on April 02, 2007, 07:44:47 PM
 I have changed the 3 days to 3 weeks, I know it still is not very much, but I did not say she was very good with her sword and you are right I have absolutely no idea how long it takes to learn how to fight with a sword. I have also changed her eye colour to dark brown, I am actually basing this character around a story I wrote when I was 9 years old and in the story the red eyes were very important but because of all the restrictions on this site, I guess all the reasons I did have are gone. I already had to change so much about her I guess I just wanted to keep something about who she was because that story is very important to me.


Title: Re: Maiden of the Rose
Post by: Simonne Miller on April 02, 2007, 07:58:50 PM
Well, in that case I have a suggestion for you: What if she has brown eyes, but when she is standing in the right light, they seem almost red?


Title: Re: Maiden of the Rose
Post by: Aroura Roselyn on April 02, 2007, 08:13:52 PM
Oh thank you, I will use that if you don't mind, it is a really good idea.  :) :grin: :)


Title: Re: Maiden of the Rose
Post by: Kite on April 03, 2007, 06:53:53 AM
 :cry: how come my post isnt good?!


Title: Re: Maiden of the Rose
Post by: Aroura Roselyn on April 03, 2007, 08:13:32 AM
Hi, I would appreciate some more comments please if possible, good or bad or both. Please, don't mean to be too pushy.


Title: Re: Maiden of the Rose
Post by: Aroura Roselyn on April 03, 2007, 07:27:43 PM
Hi, don't mean to be pushy; just want to say I would really appreciate some comments on my work. Please.  :) :)


Title: Re: Maiden of the Rose
Post by: Faryn on April 03, 2007, 11:45:06 PM
i thought it was good


Title: Re: Maiden of the Rose
Post by: Aroura Roselyn on April 04, 2007, 12:09:20 AM
Thank you for the comment :)
and if there is anything anybody can see that I could improve on and tell me, I would really appreciate. :) :)


Title: Re: Maiden of the Rose
Post by: Simonne Miller on April 04, 2007, 01:01:45 AM
I'm not sure if your second strength is so much of a strength, because I don't think there are many stories set near where the Centaurorians live. You could make it into a general good sense of direction, though, that would be a strength.


Title: Re: Maiden of the Rose
Post by: Alassiel Telrúnya on April 04, 2007, 01:05:52 AM
Hello! My comments will be in this color.

Name: Aroura Roselyn

Gender: Female

Age: 21

Race: Human

Tribe: Centoraurian

Occupation: Jeweller

Title: Maiden of the Rose

Appearance-
Height: 1.7 peds

Weight: 1.35 pygge

Decimals are frowned upon; it gives the impression that you haven't bothered to do more research on your measurements, though that might not necessarily be true.

Hair colour: Golden blonde

Hair style: Long and curly
Put this in your physical appearance.

Eye colour: Brown, but in the right light they seem to almost gleam a fiery red.
Just say Brown. For the rest, put it in your physical appearance.

Physical appearance: She is quite tall, but has a small frame. She is physically weak with very long and slender legs and quite a womanly figure. Her hair is long and goes down to her lower back; she has pale skin but her eye's burn a fiery red. She is quite ghostly in appearance.
What about the shape of her nose? And her mouth? And her complexion? Does she have any traits by which she can be identified?

Clothes: She wears a long red cape draped over her shoulders held with a diamond brooch and underneath she wears just a simple black dress down to her ankles. Her shoes are plain black with flat soles.
Talk about the quality of your clothes. Does she have any accessories other than the brooch?

Personality: She is very shy and has no real friends, she has been left as a bit of a loner who likes to keep herself to herself. But if she wants to she can be extremely persuasive and can get people to do what she wants them to, so she can get her own way. When she meets somebody new she can get very defensive, as she does not have very good social skills and is scared to risk getting her feelings hurt if she was getgot close to somebody and opens up her emotions,  then that person let her down.

She likes having time alone to just think and relax; she walks for miles by herself just to hear some of the wonderful sounds in the world. When it is silent she likes just being with her thoughts and does not like being in very noisy places.
Surely she doesn't just like to have time alone, or just dislikes noisy places. Isn't there anythig else?

She is a very complex person, and in private she can be very emotional and if she does get a true friend, she likes opening up and telling them how she feels. But she is worried about opening up to most people in case they decide not to be her friend and just leave. A lot of this is because of a traumatic past.
You have too few commas in your personality. You could try reading your CD aloud, and you can add a comma whenever you pause and take a breath.
  
Strengths:
•Many people take pity on her due to her weak and feeble appearance.
•She is good at finding her way round and has a good knowledge of the area around where she lives, and she is very adventurous.
•She is very cunning and persuasive so she can make people do what she wants them to do and most of the time she gets what she wants.

Weaknesses:
•She is very weak and unable to protect herself if she does get attacked.
•She has been known to be too adventurous and end up walking miles away from home to a place she is not familiar with.
•She does not have very good social skills and some people take an instant dislike to her.

Magic: None

History: When she was only 3 days old her house was broken into by a mysterious stranger, who killed both her parents and stole most of their belongings. In the early morning one of the tribal elders went to visit the house, where she found the dead bodies of both Aroura’s parents. Just as she was about to go back to tell the rest of the tribe she heard Aroura’s cry, she went over to the cot where she found Aroura lying covered in the blood of her parents. Also in the cot lying next to Aroura there was a sword covered in blood, presumed to be the weapon used to kill Aroura's parents. The elder picked Aroura out of the cot and the sword then took her to her house.

The elder never told Aroura about her parents and who they were. It was agreed by the tribe leaders that she should have as normal childhood as possible and when the elder who agreed to raise her dies then Aroura would be told what happened to her parents. Aroura was a bit of a loner as a child and never had any real friends. She spent a lot of time with the elder who raised her, learning how to make high quality jewellery that as she got older she started to sell.
How was it that it became her interest to learn to make high quality jewelry? Was the elder who raised her a jeweller? If so, how successful was she?

When Aroura was only 15 the elder died leaving her one silverbard coin, the helcrani shortsword engraved with the word "stranger" that she had found in the cot all those years ago, a diamond brooch shaped like a five pointed star the elder had made especially for Aroura and a note telling her about her parents and what had happened to them but it did not tell her who they were. Since that day, Aroura has vowed to find out who her parents where and avenge their death.

After this Aroura became a wanderer, she would walk for miles around meeting a lot of new people where ever she went. When Aroura was about 17 she met a man on her travels. He never told her his name but they got on really well, he was the first and only friend she had ever had. He tout taught her how to use her sword and they spent 3 weeks together. When she woke up one morning he was simply gone, he did not even leave a note, but on the floor where he had been sleeping she found a gold ring engraved with the word "stranger". The same as on the sword used to kill her parents.
Again, add more commas.

Weapons: A Helcrani shortsword engraved with the word "stranger”, which is presumed to be the weapon used to kill Aroura's parents.
What does it look like? Is it shiny or dull? Well cared for or not?

Belongings: A small leather bag where she keeps, One silverbard coin left to Aroura by the elder of her tribe who raised her, to be used only in an emergency, but she normally has a few sans coins as well.
In the bag she also carries a selection of different materials to make jewellery to sell.
The diamond brooch shaped like a five pointed star, left to her by the elder of the tribe. A gold ring engraved with the word "stranger", left by the man she suspects to have killed her parents, she thought he was her friend.

This is only a rough check. Hopefully this helps a little. Good luck!

Alassiel Telrúnya

PS. Simonne, thank goodness you didn't do a full check as well. :D


Title: Re: Maiden of the Rose
Post by: Aroura Roselyn on April 04, 2007, 03:25:02 AM
Thank you for the advice I have made the changes necessary and I hope to a high enough standard.  :) :)


Title: Re: Maiden of the Rose
Post by: Alassiel Telrúnya on April 04, 2007, 03:31:31 AM
I've noticed a few grammatical errors in your CD. For example, 'the black dress is mad of cotton and 'Aroura became a wonderer.

Also, why would she want to take good care of the Helcrani shortsword which killed her parents? Wouldn't she want to do the opposite? You could either state why she takes good care of it, or put something like, 'she always keeps it with her, because she wants to kill the man with the same sword' or something.


Title: Re: Maiden of the Rose, Centoraurian, Jeweller
Post by: Aroura Roselyn on April 04, 2007, 10:09:10 PM
Okay, thank you, I have tried to check the grammar but I am not very good at that sort of thing. I did copy and paste on to a word document but it said there is nothing wrong.


Title: Re: Maiden of the Rose, Centoraurian, Jeweller
Post by: Alassiel Telrúnya on April 04, 2007, 10:14:35 PM
Did you notice the 'Spell Check' button which is next to the Preview button (which is next to the 'Post' button) whenever you're posting something? You could try using that to check your CD. :D


Title: Re: Maiden of the Rose, Centoraurian, Jeweller
Post by: Aroura Roselyn on April 04, 2007, 10:19:57 PM
Okay, I thought that only does a check on spelling, not grammar. I will try it.


Title: Re: Maiden of the Rose, Centoraurian, Jeweller
Post by: Alassiel Telrúnya on April 04, 2007, 10:23:22 PM
But I'm not too sure whether it does grammar. I've only used it, like, once.


Title: Re: Maiden of the Rose, Centoraurian, Jeweller
Post by: Simonne Miller on April 05, 2007, 02:59:35 AM
Hmm, could you change your display name to match your character's name? If you don't, you'll have 'Maiden of the Rose' twice once you're titled, because the title appears underneath the name.

I'll go over this again soon.


Title: Re: Aroura Roselyn, Centoraurian, Jeweller
Post by: Aroura Roselyn on April 05, 2007, 03:26:32 AM
Thank you for telling me, I have changed it.


Title: Re: Aroura Roselyn / Centoraurian / Jeweller
Post by: Aroura Roselyn on April 06, 2007, 07:31:00 AM
If possible could somebody please tell me what they think about my CD and if there is anything I could do to improve it. Please. :) :)


Title: Re: Aroura Roselyn / Centoraurian / Jeweller
Post by: Aroura Roselyn on April 08, 2007, 06:30:15 AM
Please can I get some more comment, I have not had any for a couple of day's. Thankyou. :(


Title: Re: Aroura Roselyn / Centoraurian / Jeweller
Post by: Simonne Miller on April 10, 2007, 06:11:27 AM
All right, you're almost there. One thing I'd like to know: what happened in those four years between the stranger leaving her the ring, and when she's 21? This can be really short, just say that she is travelling, looking for her parents' identity and/or the stranger. When you do that, I believe you're ready for an approval :)


Title: Re: Aroura Roselyn / Centoraurian / Jeweller
Post by: Aroura Roselyn on April 10, 2007, 05:24:46 PM
That is wonderful, thank you for the advice, I will definitely do that.


Title: Re: Aroura Roselyn / Centoraurian / Jeweller
Post by: Aroura Roselyn on April 10, 2007, 05:47:09 PM
Done. :) :)
I hope that is good enough. Thank you.


Title: Re: Aroura Roselyn / Centoraurian / Jeweller
Post by: Simonne Miller on April 10, 2007, 05:49:35 PM
It's good :)
Here's your first approval


Title: Re: Aroura Roselyn / Centoraurian / Jeweller
Post by: Aroura Roselyn on April 10, 2007, 06:07:26 PM
Thank you, Thank you so much, I really appreciate everyone's help. :)


Title: Re: Aroura Roselyn / Centoraurian / Jeweller
Post by: Kalína Dalá'isyrás on April 10, 2007, 10:36:12 PM
I will give a final look through when I get off work.

*makes note*


Title: Re: Aroura Roselyn / Centoraurian / Jeweller
Post by: Aroura Roselyn on April 12, 2007, 08:47:02 PM
I know I have got my first approval, so I should not be moaning, but I have not had any comments about my work in quite a while and my school holiday is over soon.


Title: Re: Aroura Roselyn / Centoraurian / Jeweller
Post by: Simonne Miller on April 12, 2007, 09:29:24 PM
You should get your second approval soon. However, everyone with the power to give you that second approval has been either very busy or procrastinating *grins*


Title: Re: Aroura Roselyn / Centoraurian / Jeweller
Post by: Kalína Dalá'isyrás on April 13, 2007, 05:07:13 AM
Second approval and title given.


Title: Re: Aroura Roselyn / Centoraurian / Jeweller
Post by: Aroura Roselyn on April 13, 2007, 05:44:41 AM
Yes, thank you, I am pretty sure this has been the best school holiday I have ever had.


Title: Re: Aroura Roselyn / Centoraurian / Jeweller
Post by: Simonne Miller on May 13, 2007, 06:21:06 PM
lol, you're still in the CD forum, apparently nobody moved this to the archive thread. So if you wanted to make changes, you can still edit :)


Title: Re: Aroura Roselyn / Centoraurian / Jeweller
Post by: Aroura Roselyn on May 13, 2007, 06:35:27 PM
It was moved to the achieve thread for a while because I saw it there then I asked to retrieve it and the only way I could find it is in my signature, I am confused.


Title: Re: Aroura Roselyn / Centoraurian / Jeweller
Post by: Aroura Roselyn on May 15, 2007, 03:01:41 PM
Bump


Title: Re: Aroura Roselyn / Centoraurian / Jeweller
Post by: Aroura Roselyn on May 17, 2007, 12:18:01 AM
Okay can someone check if I am ready to go back to the archive yet please?


Title: Re: Aroura Roselyn / Centoraurian / Jeweller
Post by: Ta'lia of the Seven Jewels on May 17, 2007, 04:10:04 AM
Well, did you edit anything? it is hard to say, if you do not colour what you changed.


Title: Re: Aroura Roselyn / Centoraurian / Jeweller
Post by: Aroura Roselyn on May 17, 2007, 04:27:16 AM
Oh sorry, I forgot about that, well I did not change much, just a bit in the personality and possessions section.


Title: Re: Aroura Roselyn / Centoraurian / Jeweller
Post by: Aroura Roselyn on May 18, 2007, 06:11:43 AM
Bump


Title: Re: Aroura Roselyn / Centoraurian / Jeweller
Post by: Aroura Roselyn on May 18, 2007, 06:15:28 AM
I have now coloured all my changes in red, hop that helps, not much has really changed.


Title: Re: Aroura Roselyn / Centoraurian / Jeweller
Post by: Aroura Roselyn on May 18, 2007, 03:22:15 PM
I feel terrible doing this but, Bump.


Title: Re: Aroura Roselyn / Centoraurian / Jeweller
Post by: Aroura Roselyn on May 20, 2007, 02:51:12 AM
Bump


Title: Re: Aroura Roselyn / Centoraurian / Jeweller
Post by: Aroura Roselyn on May 20, 2007, 06:47:36 PM
Is there anything else I have to do before I can get put back in the archive.


Title: Re: Aroura Roselyn / Centoraurian / Jeweller
Post by: Simonne Miller on May 20, 2007, 07:13:42 PM
No, I think it's all right. I'll move you back now, you only need one approval if you have already been titled :)