Adventures of Caelereth

Archives => Approved Characters 2009 => Topic started by: Jenna Silverbirch on April 26, 2009, 06:05:20 AM



Title: Jenna Silverbirch/Dogodan Halfling/Wandering Storyteller
Post by: Jenna Silverbirch on April 26, 2009, 06:05:20 AM

Name Jenna Silverbirch

Gender Female

Age 39

Race Mostly Halfling. Her father was half human.

Tribe Dogodan

Occupation Something of a bard and writer- she writes of her travels and hopes to make a book of them some day, but makes money from storytelling, singing, and selling her small wooden carvings.

Title Wandering Storyteller

Overview A tall hobbit girl who wanders the lands in boy's clothing with her journal and quill always close at hand, Jenna hopes one day to write a book of her travels. She is friendly and unassuming, preferring to watch events go by rather than being a part of them, jotting down anything of interest to add to her great epic.

Height-One ped and nineteen nailsbreadths

Weight-Six hebs, a Hafheb and two Ods
Hair Colour-Dark blonde

Eye Colour-Hazel

Jenna's Profile Picture (http://i641.photobucket.com/albums/uu138/_sushifer_/jennapictureoutlinejpg.jpg)
My unfinished picture of Jenna. I'm very proud of it  :grin:

Appearance  
Jenna is very tall for a Dogodan hobbit at one ped and nineteen nailsbreadths, thanks to her human heritage. She is fairly slim as well, though to human eyes she still appears stocky, if not as chubby as most hobbits. She has hazel-brown eyes and thick, loosely curled dark blonde hair, cut short and falling just below her ears, which frames a tanned and cheerful visage. In the Shire she was often told she had a fair face, if not exactly a beautiful one, possessing large almond eyes and shapelier cheekbones than most. But as she is far from vain she doesn’t bother to take advantage of this, and her scruffy appearance, coupled with her man's clothing and short hair, mean she is often mistaken for a boy by the big folk, at least at first. A closer look shows hers is definitely a feminine visage, but initially many have called her 'lad' and perhaps believed she is male for all their brief acquaintance with her, as of course, in the world beyond the shires no man or elf or dwarf would take a real interest in a hobbit’s looks.
Stretching the length of her left arm are thick bands of ugly, knotted scar tissue from where she was badly burnt as a child, with more delicate, papery scars over her hand. More noticeable, however, is the fact she is missing her little finger and the very tip of her ring finger, which does not have a nail. But despite these blemishes, her hands remain very delicate for a hobbit- her mother used to call them 'wordsmith's fingers'.

Clothing  
For practicality and comfort on the road, Jenna dresses in men’s clothes. Her outfit consists of a old, long-sleeved white shirt, a simple dark brown waistcoat full of pockets, tough leather breeches and a thick brown cloak with a hood. Hidden beneath her shirt is a silver necklace given to her by her mother on her thirty-third birthday, the pendant carved in the shape of a rune of hospitality.

In her pack, Jenna keeps two spare outfits that she generally reserves for any formal occasions she chances to attend. The more frequently worn set is made up of a marginally cleaner shirt, black cotton trousers and a rather beautiful green waistcoat embroidered in silver and and light green threads with a pattern of vines and leaves. Crumpled somewhere in the very depths of the pack is an almost never worn dress. It is pretty enough, made of good quality green fabric, and cut very simple, with no pleats or frills or bunched fabric that Jenna calls 'unnecessary twiddly bits'. Still, her dislike of skirts means she can rarely be bothered to wear it, unless it is absolutely necessary.

Personality
Good natured and generally liked, Jenna gets on well with big folk, even if she seems a little odd to hobbits. She is quite reserved, preferring to listen attentively rather than talk herself, as she retains a slight distrust for complete strangers from her days in the secluded Alianian hills. Though the more she learns of the world, and grows used to big folk ways of life, the chattier she has become, and can ramble about very little for a very long time, especially if it makes her seem more hobbit-like.

She loves stories and songs, whether she is listening to them, penning them herself or telling them, and has a good hobbit sense of humour. Her love of tales is so deep that Jenna often finds herself thinking as if life really was a story. She calls it her 'literary mindset', and becomes positively ecstatic if things take a turn for the literary. To her, everything is fuel for a potential tale ready to be written. Needless to say, she’s very inquisitive and always enjoys learning something new- one of her reasons for wandering the lands is to see and learn about as much of the world as possible, because, in her own words ‘the world’s so full of wonder it’d be a shameful waste to live without seeing as much of it as you could’ve’.

To the big folk she seems a regular hobbit, cheerful and humorous, but those who know her better find beneath her front of innocence is a sharp, tough, and intelligent mind. In fact, Jenna deliberately cultivates her cheerful hobbit persona for the big folk. She's found that being thought of as a simple, good natured, yokel of a hobbit is a quick way to gain the trust, and, if not respect, at least the amusement of others. Which is far better than being a suspicious stranger of a small, fairly unknown race in the cities of Santharia. Beneath this assumed exterior Jenna still has flashes of self-doubt. She berates herself about these last remnants of her awkward adolescence, but still swings between acting confidently and hating herself and her mistakes. Not all of her hobbity traits are affected, however, as she is hard to anger, and while not exactly a pacifist, avoids confrontation, conflict and combat if she can, preferring to go about her business quietly and unnoticed.

Strengths
Excellent swimmer - Jenna had an unusual love for the sea as a child and so is a very good swimmer. She was nicknamed ‘Pinnip’ by her family because of it.

Agile - Because of her prowess at swimming, for a hobbit, Jenna is slim and nimble, if not physically strong. Her speed matches and can even excel the average humans.

Literate and a gifted storyteller - Jenna has a flair for both telling and composing tales. She is a scholarly reader but can just as easily entertain a tavern with her stories and songs. She’s not exactly a virtuso, but plays the lute fairly well to accompany her singing.

Intelligent and practical- She might not seem it, but Jenna is very intelligent, and also quite sensible, remaining calm in almost any situation.

Some ability with a blade- She's no great swordswoman, but Jenna has a basic training in combat with a blade, and is far more skilled than the average hobbit in it, although she prefers to avoid combat. Her small stature and agility give her an advantage over humans, even if she's not very strong.


Weaknesses

Stubborn - While she is perfectly happy to follow others and accept their ideas if she can see sense in them, if she wants to do something her way or has a set opinion of something it is difficult to persuade her otherwise.

Quick to judge - As she sees everything as a potential story, Jenna jumps to conclusions about people and situations quickly, assuming certain people will always behave certain ways, sometimes incorrectly.

Fear of fire- Because of a childhood accident that left her badly scarred she is deeply distrusting of fire. She will light a fire if she has to, but often tries to avoid doing so or gets others to do it for her, and she doesn't mind being around small campfires or hearths too much, but any larger fire, even a controlled one, still scares her and can even cause panic attacks.

A little cowardly - Jenna has a strong sense of self preservation, to the extent of being a little cowardly, as if things start to become too dangerous she'll try to extricate herself from them. If given the choice between saving herself and saving a friend, she'd save herself.

Physically weak- She is not particularly strong, especially for a hobbit, being weaker than the average human, which means that although she's hard to catch, once someone has a hold of her it's easy to overpower her. Her scarred left arm in particular is still a good deal weaker than the right. The damage to her fingers, in particular, has lessened that hand's dexterity.

Tends to ramble- When telling a story Jenna likes to give as much detail as she can, but can become so caught up in this she begins to ramble, often on completely unrelated themes, and ends up losing her original train of thought, and in the process, the audience's attention.

Often overlooked - Along with her tendency to ramble, simply because she is a halfling, Jenna has a hard time holding a non-hobbit audience's attention, who see hobbits as unimportant and often overlook them, or consider them quaint novelties with no actual talents. It also means her serious writings are rarely taken seriously by the Big Folk.

History
Jenna is unusual amongst hobbits, and after a lifetime trying unsuccessfully to fit in she has left the Dogodan shire to travel the world.
Her troubles began when her mother, Lillen Godro, a wild girl in her youth, took a liking to the giant of a hobbit staying in the local tavern. He was a wanderer, and as soon as he set foot in the shire all manner of tales about him sprang up, mostly saying he was little better than a thief who lived off other’s hospitality. If it hadn’t have been for his good custom in the pub, the landlord would have gladly thrown him out.

But young Lillen thought nothing of the stories and as soon as she could she escaped the family hobbit-hole to try and get a look at this intriguing stranger. She found him sitting at the bar by himself, and he truly was a giant, and very slim for a hobbit. Lillen was a brave girl and seated herself beside him, ignoring the looks she gathered from the old hobbits. She found the stranger to be charming and they talked for some time. He said his name was Fadran, and when she commented on his great height he remarked, offhandedly, that his father had been human. This only increased his glamour and world-wise air to young Lillen, and as they chatted she thought more and more of how handsome he was, and how good-natured. When Fadran told her he thought her pretty she had to turn her face away, afraid he’d see how much she was blushing. They parted later that evening, agreeing to meet in the tavern the next day.

Soon they met in secret, for rumours spread quickly in such a small community and while Lillen was a rebellious girl she didn’t want to attract more attention then necessary. After knowing him only a week she was certain she was in love with him, and she thought, or at least hoped, that he loved her back. But then one evening Fadran didn’t arrive in their secret meeting place. He had left in the night, leaving no word behind, and only the landlord had seen him go. Not long after his disappearance, Lillen found she was with child. Heartbroken and despairing, she confided in her older sister, the only hobbit she really trusted. Her sister advised her to marry as soon as she could, to try and hide the scandal.

So Lillen, only thirty-one years old, began flirting with one of the older sons of a wealthy farmer, Tummel Silverbirch, who had been infatuated with her since they were children. Tummel was delighted, and the rituals of hobbit courtship soon followed. They were married a few months later and Lillen settled down in the Silverbirch family smial. Tummel was a kind man, and she began to love him deeply, if not with the fiery passion she’d felt for Fadran. Gradually, as she grew used to the life and responsibilities of a respectable hobbit wife, Lillen’s wild ways and rebelliousness lessened, although she was sharp-witted and stubborn for the rest of her life.

When Jenna was born many commented on how quickly the Silverbirch’s had been blessed, knowing Lillen would have had to have conceived before her marriage. Back in the Godro home her siblings whispered of Fadran, but said little to outsiders. Tummel was well respected and no-one wanted to shame him. It wasn’t long before Lillen became pregnant again, and by the time Jenna came of age she had six brothers and three sisters.

Jenna grew quickly, and had to help look after the growing family from a young age. When she was free from her household duties she liked to visit taverns and meeting halls, listening to stories and songs and soon composing her own. At first she tried telling them to the tavern crowds, but as they were epics and tragedies with no connection to hobbit history, and frequently prose instead of hobbit’s preferred poetry, they were not well received. Hurt, Jenna kept her tales and songs private, scribbling them in her journals, and reading voraciously. Although, she had a good voice and was often called to sing traditional hobbit songs at festivals.

As a child Jenna also developed a fascination for the sea. The Silverbirch smial was near the coast and Jenna loved to make trips down to the beach, where she could sit and read and write whilst watching the waves. She persuaded one of the few hobbits in the area who could swim to teach her, and by the age of fifteen she was a confident swimmer, who became as familiar with the Ardian coast by the Alianian hills as she was with her own home.

Not long after she developed her love for the sea, Jenna became terrified of fire. While gathered around the bonfire at a hobbit’s eleventy-first birthday party, she tripped and caught her arm in the flames. Although the party-goers quickly put it out she was left with very bad burns stretching all of her left arm. The damage to her little finger was so severe it had to be amputated. In the years following the accident she nurtured a deep, private fear of fire and avoided cooking, making sure to keep a good few feet from any flames. As she grew older she conquered her fears somewhat, and as an adult doesn’t mind lighting or being around small campfires or hearths, but any large fire, even a controlled one, still scares her.

While the Dogodan hobbits respected her for her great memory for songs and tales, she was always something of a black sheep. As she entered adolescence and grew far taller than was normal, the Godros, and others with good memory, remembered the Great-Hobbit Fadran, and it became common knowledge that Jenna’s father was probably not Tummel. The community was a little wary of her, saying ‘there’s just something un-hobbit like about the lass’ although it was hard to pinpoint exactly what, aside from her height. Her only real friends were within her family. The local hobbit children were reluctant to talk to her and to let her join in their games. While she was never bullied outright, and often played with the Dogodan children, they were never particularly friendly towards her.

And so, as she entered adulthood, Jenna’s dreams of exploring the world grew. She loved the shire, but was still an outsider there. Her brother Rigby, the oldest boy of the Silverbirches, had long ago taken over her role as head of the family, along with their parents, and she felt she was not really needed, as no one would be too keen to marry her. A few years after she came of age Jenna announced she was leaving to travel the world, hoping open day to compile a great volume of stories of what she’d witnessed. The idea of a hobbit leaving the safe confines of the Alianian hills was unthinkable and all the old hobbits of the community muttered darkly about ‘the human blood showing true’, although they still gave her a grand sending off party, and the letters she sends back to her family are read aloud to congregations of hobbits, eager to hear of the strange world beyond their doors, even if they don’t want to explore it themselves.

And so Jenna roams the world, seeking adventures to fuel her own writing, although she doesn’t like to be a part of them herself. She makes money telling stories and singing songs, accompanying her singing with a lute for while she prefers written tales she’s still a good story teller and singer.



Weapons
-A simple human dagger, that is more of a short sword by her proportions, with a nicked blade and a stained brown hilt. While it's old, and isn't exactly the best-crafted of weapons, it still has quite a bite and Jenna wields it well.
-A smaller cooking knife that she sometimes uses as a weapon, though it's not particularly effective.

Belongings
Her all purpose cooking knife (also used to whittle her carvings)
A set of small collapsible cooking pots
A large waterskin
A rather battered lute
Her bedroll
Her leather journal
Quill and ink
A coin pouch that also holds trinkets she’s collected in her travels
A clay pipe and a small amount of smokeweed
Whatever scraps of wood she's collected to carve
Her spare clothing


Title: Re: Jenna Silverbirch/Dogodan Halfling/Wandering Storyteller
Post by: Ridgen Sú'ufanán on April 26, 2009, 07:15:27 AM
Jenna, this is a good start! I might as well tell you though; do you mind giving us a little more detail about your weapons? I can't exactly 'see' it. Just a friendly heads up.

_____________________________________________________________

Oh, and COLOUR all your changes. Your CD is a good one, much better than mine. Keep up the good work!  ;)


Title: Re: Jenna Silverbirch/Dogodan Halfling/Wandering Storyteller
Post by: Deklitch Hardin on April 26, 2009, 09:10:43 AM
Hi Jenna,

I only picked up a couple of things, both related to the weapon ... one a suggestion, one just that you seemed to leave out an a

The suggestion - if she is trained in the standard human knife as a weapon, it should be included as an advantage, I think.

And then the missing a (which is in yellow!

Quote
Weapons
She carries two knives, a simple human dagger, that is more of a very short sword by her proportions, and a smaller cooking knife that she sometimes uses as a weapon.

Generally though, your CD looks well written and reads well to me.


Title: Re: Jenna Silverbirch/Dogodan Halfling/Wandering Storyteller
Post by: Jenna Silverbirch on April 26, 2009, 04:53:53 PM
Thankyou very much for the tips!(and compliments :grin:) I've made a few minor changes based on your suggestions.


Title: Re: Jenna Silverbirch/Dogodan Halfling/Wandering Storyteller
Post by: fionn on April 26, 2009, 05:03:56 PM
a really well written, rounded and interesting CD. personally i don't think there'll be much trouble here. :)
my comments are very few, and very quibbly...


skipping most of this as i couldn't find anything wrong with it.

Strengths
Excellent swimmer - Jenna had an unusual love for the sea as a child and so is a very good swimmer. She was nicknamed ‘Seal’ by her family because of it.< seals in Santharia are called pinnips.

Agile - For a hobbit, Jenna is slim and nimble, if not physically strong. Her speed matches and can even excel the average human’s.<apostrophe not needed.

Literate and a gifted storyteller - Jenna has a flair for both telling and composing tales. She is a scholarly reader but can just as easily entertain a tavern with her stories and songs. She’s not exactly a virtuoso, but plays the mandolin fairly well to accompany her singing.

Quick to judge - Jenna jumps to conclusions about people and situations quickly, sometimes incorrectly. some of your strengths and weaknesses could do with another sentence or two, just to elaborate. also, you're a bit overstrengthed, if that's a word. maybe think of a couple more weaknesses, even if they're fairly small.

History
...

Not long after she developed her love for the sea, Jenna became terrified of fire. While gathered around the bonfire at a hobbit’s eleventh-first birthday, she tripped and caught her arm in the flames. Although the party-goers quickly put it out she was left with very bad burns. In the years following the accident she nurtured a deep, private fear of fire and avoided cooking, making sure to keep a good few feet from any flames. As she grew older she conquered her fears somewhat, and as an adult doesn’t might< mind lighting or being around small campfires or hearths, but any large fire, even a controlled one, still scares her.

as you can see, those are very insignificant errors. you write very well, well done. :grin:


Title: Re: Jenna Silverbirch/Dogodan Halfling/Wandering Storyteller
Post by: Jenna Silverbirch on April 26, 2009, 06:05:11 PM
Thankyou! Edits made. I thought I might have a few too many strengths... But I'm a complete and utter newbie to RPing so I wasn't entirely sure what was acceptable. :P


Title: Re: Jenna Silverbirch/Dogodan Halfling/Wandering Storyteller
Post by: Jenna Silverbirch on April 26, 2009, 08:12:59 PM
Also-I've got a question: If I wanted to make a fairly large change to my CD after it had been approved, such as giving Jenna a pet mongoose or something, it would have to go through the approval process again, wouldn't it? And would I change the subject title to 'character re-approval'?


Title: Re: Jenna Silverbirch/Dogodan Halfling/Wandering Storyteller
Post by: Kalína Dalá'isyrás on April 26, 2009, 08:24:43 PM
No, you wouldn't have to change the subject. You would already be titled, so we already would know it was a reapproval. But yes, any large significant changes would have to be reapproved by 2 moderators before it would go back to the archives.


Title: Re: Jenna Silverbirch/Dogodan Halfling/Wandering Storyteller
Post by: Jenna Silverbirch on April 26, 2009, 08:55:21 PM
How close would you say my CD is to being approval-worthy? Because I'm pretty much happy with it, unless anyone else can spot any minor errors.


Title: Re: Jenna Silverbirch/Dogodan Halfling/Wandering Storyteller
Post by: Kalína Dalá'isyrás on April 26, 2009, 09:02:17 PM
Most of your weaknesses are based off of personality shortfalls. Do you have any weaknesses which would put her at a disadvantage outside of town?


Title: Re: Jenna Silverbirch/Dogodan Halfling/Wandering Storyteller
Post by: Jenna Silverbirch on April 26, 2009, 09:13:15 PM
She's quick but not strong. Would physical weakness be a good disadvantage?


Title: Re: Jenna Silverbirch/Dogodan Halfling/Wandering Storyteller
Post by: Fertalimeo,Solitia on April 26, 2009, 09:16:02 PM
Do you mean in comparison with your own kind or with humans?



Sorry for butting in Kalina. :P


Title: Re: Jenna Silverbirch/Dogodan Halfling/Wandering Storyteller
Post by: Jenna Silverbirch on April 26, 2009, 09:19:44 PM
She's very weak (upper-body wise, though, as all the swimming's given her sturdy legs)for a hobbit, and below average for a human.


Title: Re: Jenna Silverbirch/Dogodan Halfling/Wandering Storyteller
Post by: Fertalimeo,Solitia on April 26, 2009, 09:35:57 PM
Well, considering that you are going to be venturing out into the world, at least thats what i am assuming, and there is a small amount of hobbits in the world next to the combined amount of sentient being that inhabit Caelereth,looking at it that way then your weakness would be considerably hindering.

On the other hand you are not exactly a freelance adventurer, your a storyteller, and besides struggling with the occasional thief or animal you aren't really required to use physical force.
Therefore, a lack of strength most likely will not be percived as a notible disadvantage on your character.


Title: Re: Jenna Silverbirch/Dogodan Halfling/Wandering Storyteller
Post by: Jenna Silverbirch on April 26, 2009, 09:48:05 PM
Hmm. Good point, Fertalimeo. How about a tendency to get so caught up in telling a story she begins to ramble and loses her thread? That could be a fairly significant disadvantage.


Title: Re: Jenna Silverbirch/Dogodan Halfling/Wandering Storyteller
Post by: Fertalimeo,Solitia on April 26, 2009, 09:55:51 PM
Mayhap, that could be a habit that has built over time as a result of your occupation, so you would have a reasonable basis for that particular weakness.

But then again rambling on is litterally in your job description, so it is more likely be placed as a strength rather then a weakness.


Title: Re: Jenna Silverbirch/Dogodan Halfling/Wandering Storyteller
Post by: Jenna Silverbirch on April 26, 2009, 10:04:00 PM
True :nod:,but it wouldn't be a strength if she went completly off-topic and started boring the audience. 


Title: Re: Jenna Silverbirch/Dogodan Halfling/Wandering Storyteller
Post by: Jenna Silverbirch on April 26, 2009, 10:30:26 PM
Oh- and could simply being a halfling be a legitimate disadvantage? I've seen a few other hobbit CDs where it's used, as it means they're not taken seriously by big folk. For Jenna it'd mean she wouldn't be taken seriously as a writer, and might find it more difficult to get work as a storytelller.


Title: Re: Jenna Silverbirch/Dogodan Halfling/Wandering Storyteller
Post by: Fertalimeo,Solitia on April 26, 2009, 10:55:25 PM
Correct, Absent mindness would effect you in a negitive way, though not in a particularly damaging.
Also while you do work as a storyteller you also have a number of occupation that I have noticed, so ultumatly you will no be effected harshly.

Even if you lack focus keep in mind that that isn't what keep someone listening to you, in order to hold someones attention you must be charasmatic and flambouent, fun to talk and listen to, with that skill you could sit there rattling on for weeks and still keep a noblemans attention.

The fact of the matter is that this weakness will effect you in any way exept for denting your purse slightly, may I suggest broadening your weakness, mayhap you couple this suggested weakness with something like being socially invisible (unable to hold ones attention), which could effect you in more ways then hurting your wallet like limiting friends, restricting deals made with innkeepers or traders and weakening your own business (as I mentioned previously) or any other activity that involves social interaction.




Title: Re: Jenna Silverbirch/Dogodan Halfling/Wandering Storyteller
Post by: Jenna Silverbirch on April 26, 2009, 10:57:58 PM
Very good point. :nod: I'll edit accordingly.


Title: Re: Jenna Silverbirch/Dogodan Halfling/Wandering Storyteller
Post by: Fertalimeo,Solitia on April 26, 2009, 11:08:32 PM
Most cities belong to larger folk (elves, human etc.) and many of those beings look down upon the littler races, making that disadvantage is a very serious weakness.

Though while some of the other races feel happy or indifferent around hobbits, brownies or dwarfs a large percentage are not and shun them.

In conclusion, that particular weakness seems to be a effective and easy to understand because it incorporates many of the weaknesses suggested in previous posts, I give it a thumbs up. :thumbup:


{You keep posting before me because i am trying to think each possible scenaio through properly.}


Title: Re: Jenna Silverbirch/Dogodan Halfling/Wandering Storyteller
Post by: Jenna Silverbirch on April 27, 2009, 12:12:17 AM
Thankyou very much for your critiques! They've been very helpful.:thanks: You've clearly thought things through very carefully. :grin: And now to continue with my picture of Jenna...


Title: Re: Jenna Silverbirch/Dogodan Halfling/Wandering Storyteller
Post by: Fertalimeo,Solitia on April 27, 2009, 12:32:09 AM
You are very welcome.


Title: Re: Jenna Silverbirch/Dogodan Halfling/Wandering Storyteller
Post by: Morden Peshirgolz on April 27, 2009, 03:21:51 AM
Quote
Name Jenna Silverbirch

Gender Female

Age 39

Race Mostly Halfling. Her father was half human.

Tribe Dogodan

Occupation something of a bard and writer- she writes of her travels and hopes to make a book of them some day, but makes money from storytelling, singing, and selling her small wooden carvings.

Title Wandering Storyteller

Overview A tall hobbit girl who wanders the lands with her journal and quill always close at hand, Jenna hopes one day to write a book of her travels. She is friendly and unassuming, preferring to watch events go by rather than being a part of them, jotting down anything of interest to add to her great epic.

Height:

Weight:

Hair Color:

Eye Color:

Appearance  Jenna is very tall for a Dogodan hobbit at one ped and nineteen nailsbreadths, thanks to her human heritage, and fairly slim as well, though to human eyes she still appears stocky, if not as chubby as most hobbits. She has hazel-brown eyes and thick, loosely curled dark blonde hair, cut short, framing a tanned, cheerful visage. In the Shire she was often told she had a fair face, if not exactly beautiful, with large almond eyes and shapelier cheekbones than most, but as she is far from vain she doesn’t bother to take advantage of this. And of course, in the world beyond the shires no man or elf or dwarf would take an interest in a hobbit’s looks. Stretching the length of her left arm are thick bands of ugly, knotted scar tissue from where she was badly burnt as a child. Her hands are very delicate for a hobbit- her mother used to call them 'wordsmith's fingers'.


Please be sure to add the Height, Weight, etc. before your appearance section.

Quote
Soon they met in secret, for rumors spread quickly in such a small community and while Lillen was a rebellious girl she didn’t want to attract  more attention then necessary. After knowing him only a week she was certain she was in love with him, and she thought, or at least hoped, that he loved her back.

Quote
Not long after she developed her love for the sea, Jenna became terrified of fire. While gathered around the bonfire at a hobbit’s eleventh-first (did you mean "eleventy-first"?) birthday, she tripped and caught her arm in the flames.

OK, not much that I have to comment on, good job by you! I'll try to get someone with more hobbit-knowledge than me to check out your history. Now, I think you are probably still a little overpowered, but looking at your CD I can see some quick fixes for that.

Quote
Physically weak- She is not particularly strong, especially for a hobbit
.

You could definitely expand here. Please explain exactly how this weakness effects her, what situations where it would hinder her, and more detail on just how much weaker she is than the average person.

Quote
Fear of fire- Because of a childhood accident that left her badly scarred she is deeply distrusting of fire. She doesn’t mind lighting or being around small campfires or hearths, but any large fire, even a controlled one, still scares her.

If she has a phobia about fire, why would only larges ones make her afraid? And what do you define as large? A hearth would be a pretty substantial fire in my mind, not being large, but not small either. Also, I would think that lighting a fire would be frightening for her, if she has a fear of other situations dealing with fire.

Quote
Her hands are very delicate for a hobbit- her mother used to call them 'wordsmith's fingers'.

This could also be mentioned as a weakness, as long as you expand it to mention how it affects her and in what situations it does so.

Quote
Weapons
She carries two knives, a simple human dagger, that is more of a very short sword by her proportions, and a smaller cooking knife that she sometimes uses as a weapon.

One last thing now, you must list each weapon your character has as its own strength. So, that would mean a section for her two knives, a section for her dagger, and maybe a section for the cooking knife. In order to avoid overpowering your character (that is quite a few knives!), you could take out the first two daggers; then simply add one section to your S&W, mainly mentioning the dagger, and including a small mention of the cooking knife.


Title: Re: Jenna Silverbirch/Dogodan Halfling/Wandering Storyteller
Post by: Jenna Silverbirch on April 27, 2009, 03:29:54 AM
Thankyou for the tips. I've made a few changes.
I realise I wasn't being particularly clear about her weapons- she has only two knives in total, her dagger and her cooking knife.
And yes I did mean eleventy-first, but Word must have autocorrected it without me noticing :angry:


Title: Re: Jenna Silverbirch/Dogodan Halfling/Wandering Storyteller
Post by: Morden Peshirgolz on April 27, 2009, 03:36:52 AM
I realise I wasn't being particularly clear about her weapons- she has only two knives in total, her dagger and her cooking knife.

Oops, seems I misread that a bit, hehe. :rolleyes:

Thanks for explaining it without making me feel too foolish. :buck:


Title: Re: Jenna Silverbirch/Dogodan Halfling/Wandering Storyteller
Post by: Jenna Silverbirch on April 27, 2009, 04:05:00 AM
Ah, don't worry, it was pretty easy to misread. Also- I'm planning on joing the Kann Kemruhnt when my CD is approved, so look out for me there :evil:


Title: Re: Jenna Silverbirch/Dogodan Halfling/Wandering Storyteller
Post by: Morden Peshirgolz on April 27, 2009, 04:08:50 AM
Aye, I'll be alooking out fer ya there, lass. Be assured then, ya be in store for some fine dwarven fun.

Glad to hear that, I look forward to it!


Title: Re: Jenna Silverbirch/Dogodan Halfling/Wandering Storyteller
Post by: Azhira Styralias on April 30, 2009, 11:24:47 AM
I see no major issues keeping this CD from a First Approval!

And a wonderful picture!  :thumbup:

:nod:


Title: Re: Jenna Silverbirch/Dogodan Halfling/Wandering Storyteller
Post by: Jenna Silverbirch on April 30, 2009, 03:23:55 PM
Yay! Thankyou very very much  :grin:


Title: Re: Jenna Silverbirch/Dogodan Halfling/Wandering Storyteller
Post by: Morden Peshirgolz on April 30, 2009, 08:16:05 PM
Aaaaaaaand *drumroll* Second Approval  *applause*

Congrats :grin: :thumbup:


Title: Re: Jenna Silverbirch/Dogodan Halfling/Wandering Storyteller
Post by: Azhira Styralias on April 30, 2009, 09:16:28 PM
Titled and archived! Enjoy!  :thumbup:


Title: Re: Jenna Silverbirch/Dogodan Halfling/Wandering Storyteller
Post by: Kalína Dalá'isyrás on November 03, 2009, 04:18:20 AM
Going up!


Title: Re: Jenna Silverbirch/Dogodan Halfling/Wandering Storyteller
Post by: Jenna Silverbirch on November 05, 2009, 08:32:38 PM
Aaaand I'm all done. I didn't change anything major, really- I reworded a few clunky sentences, made her burn scarring extend to her hand, referred to the fact she's often mistaken for a boy and added a few personality traits that have emerged through playing her.
Will I need one approval or two?


Title: Re: Jenna Silverbirch/Dogodan Halfling/Wandering Storyteller
Post by: Deklitch Hardin on November 06, 2009, 03:57:22 AM
Well, I'm not sure whether you need one or two approvals, but in any case, here's my 1st approval on it! I don't really see anything that jumps out at me as a problem with what you've done.

Dek


Title: Re: Jenna Silverbirch/Dogodan Halfling/Wandering Storyteller
Post by: Azhira Styralias on November 06, 2009, 06:05:45 AM
I agree. Looks ok to me too. Second Approval. Moving back down to the archives.  :)

EDIT - Remove coloring first!  :P


Title: Re: Jenna Silverbirch/Dogodan Halfling/Wandering Storyteller
Post by: Jenna Silverbirch on November 06, 2009, 07:34:15 AM
Yay! Thankyou very much, both of you :) Time to remove some colours...

Aaand I'm all done. If only there was a button to remove all colour from a post :P Thanks again for such swift approval!


Title: Re: Jenna Silverbirch/Dogodan Halfling/Wandering Storyteller
Post by: Azhira Styralias on November 07, 2009, 12:48:09 AM
Moved back to the Archives!  :thumbup: