Adventures of Caelereth

Archives => Approved Characters 2010 => Topic started by: Avásh ám Térqu'ypheró on March 20, 2010, 03:26:54 PM



Title: Avásh'ám'Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim/Cultivator-Mage
Post by: Avásh ám Térqu'ypheró on March 20, 2010, 03:26:54 PM
Name: Avásh'ám'Térqu'ypheró ( Wind and Weather)

Gender: Male

Age: 25 (16 by appearance)

Race: Elf

Tribe: Maeverhim

Occupation: Cultivator/ Wind Mage

Title: The Grey King's Mage

Overview: Avásh, at the age of 25, grew up with cultivators for parents, although they often had tourists that he and his family had met in Seria hoping to spend a day and: " Experience the Maeverhim way." His parents, both pure in breed, knew their trade very well, and passed on the skills to him. He is quiet, and reserved, and likes  people, once he warms up to them; and has a big heart and likes meeting new people, although he doesn't quite trust them at first. He's young and has the whole world ahead of him.

Appearance:

Height:  1 Ped, 2 Fores, 3 Nailsbreadth, 2 Grains

Weight: 1 Pygge, 1 Heb, 3 Ods, 4 Mut

Hair Color: Eophran brown

Eye Color: Eophran brown

Physical Appearance

 Avásh sports many of the traditional Maeverhim features including the naturally black fingernails and toenails, although the normally green or blue eyes that are commonly seen in the tribe have been substituted for his dark Eophran eyes. His face is thin, as well as the rest of his body structure. He is skinny, but no one really notices due to his clothing. His hair is medium length and always pulled back into a ponytail. This comes as somewhat of a shock to his family members. They do not quite understand why it is pulled back, but he reasons that it is due to his inability to work with it falling in his seeds, food, plants, and dirty underwear piles. Eventually however, he decided one day to take most of his hair off; on the day one year after his parents had died. He has been growing it back ever since. This also has him stand out somewhat in the crowd of long-haired Maeverhim.

 His cheekbones are high, his lips, and brow stern, but when he smiles, one knows all is well. He has longer legs than normal, accounting for about 55 percent of his height rather than the normal 50 percent. He has lean, long muscle, making him resemble something akin to a not-quite-so-attractive woman, and is often mistaken for it, but he shrugs off comments like those, as the persons commenting don't realize it at the time. He also a very short Maeverhim, although he is still very young and hasn't had time to finish growing. His short height gives him a slight disadvantage when it comes to playing games with the others and climbing trees and the like.

Clothing: Baggy blue and green garb that catches the wind in a majestic way. His attire is traditional like that of most of the other Maeverhim; baggy pants and shorts designed to break the stories (as in height) he descends. He also sports a necklace made from the nightshimmer vines, although no one knows how it stays alive... He also has one nice set of clothes, special for holidays, and one other that he wares on his parent's death day, or the day that was so told to him when he was found by Váras, as to remember them. His holiday garb includes a slightly less baggy white shirt, with oddly enough, a collar, for it makes him feel dressy, gleaming with nightshimmer vine knitted into it; and his remembrance clothes include that of a very dark green, with dark blue stitching, although he almost always wears his traditional set of clothes.

Personality: Being quiet and reserved for most of his life, Avásh has a hard time warming up to people, but once he does, he creates a friendship that lasts a lifetime, although his prejudice against fire often gets him in trouble with the tourists. Although he has trouble warming up to people, he does indeed like them. He more so had trust issues; for example, he does not like it when people ask personal information from him. The initial meeting is fine, but after, when it starts to get more personal, he tends to be very reclusive and draws himself into a "shell-like" state of mind.

He likes playing around with others, as well as trying new things. He is very adventurous and loves to do anything outdoorsy. He oft goes out to Seraia just to see what people do, how they react to various things around them, and what he can do to help. He also enjoys observing people and how they work. This makes him something of a observer.

In his freer time, between messing with magic, and negotiating with people, he enjoys gardening very much, and not just because it's his main source of income. One reason why he is so proficient at gardening and cultivation is because he cares for his plants very well. He enjoys watching his garden sprout to life with the greenery (and sometimes bluery) of his garden. At night, his garden can be seen and is oft opened to the public to pick berries and the fruits, and to see the native plants of Seraia.
Strengths and Weaknesses:

Strengths:

 Cultivator:
Avásh is a very well practiced cultivator. He can sow almost any seed watch it bloom with radiance with the help of The Grey King. Also, due to his knowledge of cultivation, herbalists also find him helpful as he can grow things much quicker than one would have expected. He takes pride in this, and Váras helps him sell some of the herbs he has grown; as he is still very shy.

Wind Mage: Level 1
 Avásh hopes to become a great mage one day, as he has seen many other Wind Mages pass through and send a slight breeze his way as thanks. He is skilled in Wind Magic, hoping one day to be a recognized as a someone to turn to for help. He has been taking courses from the School for 4 years now and is quite skilled, although he still has a long way to go. He often has trouble getting near other mages due to his past experience with Fire and Water Mages, although he enjoys watching tourists, that visit his town, jump in glee when he sends a little breeze their way as a goodbye.

Observer:
 He often examines people very closely, watching their actions and what they say so he can help them in the best way possible; this comes in handy when people don't exactly want to admit something. Most of the time, when he is dealing with people, he tends to know them very well; i.e. what they like, what they do for a living and what makes them tick. Unfortunately, when problems arise amongst people, he has a knack for solving who "stole the bread" or "chopped down their prize Nightshimmer" or some other ridiculous argument like that. Even with people he does not know, he is able to figure out what they have been doing or what they could have had the capability of doing by the way they look, or the way things were "before" (namely, before the incident occurred). With this skill, he can always tell who stole the Nightshimmer, because they are either a foreigner who was immediately placed into a trance-like state, or they tend to have some sort of glowing peice of clothing,i.e. where they had either hidden or cut the plant.

Height:
 His short stature, is at times a disadvantage, but it can be advantageous. During training at the local School, as well as during some hide-and-seek games he still often plays, he can fit into smaller spaces, as well as become more friendly with the non-natives as he can, for lack of a better phrase, "bring it down to their level."

Weaknesses:

Poor Salesperson:
 Although Avásh is an experienced cultivator, he often has trouble selling his goods to others; he does not know how to properly interact with people.

Shy:
 Avásh has a hard time getting used to the mannerisms of people and how they like to interact; namely, how they introduce themselves and how he should respond to the self-presentation. He often just shies away, or ignores the gesture, hoping that the other person won't notice.

Overgenerous:
 Avásh is often overly generous and so ready to please that he hurts his loved ones as well as himself in the process. He often gives up valuable possessions, such as his produce, in order to feed the locals that are in need; thus diminishing his overall income, and hurting him financially.

Clumsy:
 He is clumsy and oft not to handle fragile objects.

Memory Loss:
 Due to his memory lost, he often avoids questions about his past and substitutes them with questions about the his necklace; for example, if someone asks what he did for fun as a child, he would respond with, " Why yes, my necklace is made from nightshimmer! Beautiful, isn't it? The trick is to get it to grow with you, instead of just on you..." and the rest is lost in the jumble. It also causes him some confusion from time to time, as he cannot remember the "cherished childhood memories" that everyone else talks about, only the ones of a few recent years.

Rebellious Nature:
 He also doesn't enjoy complying with people or authoritative figures. He has a hard time swallowing his pride and doing as others say, unless of course, it is elder or the Rónn or Ránn. This often got him in trouble as a child, because he had a hard time enjoying guests of whom did not enjoy kids.

Height:
 His short height also makes him very tired very quickly, as the others can take nice long strides, while he must take many more in order to keep up.

Brief History:
Not much is known about Avásh or what his past was like. He can only remember a few happy moments in his life before he turned 25. During his childhood, he grew up learning to swing from tree to tree, training on the platforms which held the lounging, what the humans would call, " Big Beanbag chairs." If he fell, he would scold himself, always saying that if he ever became Earthburned, he would move on to greater adventures, outside of Maeverhim country. As far back as he could remember, his parents held parties inviting humans and those of other races to come and "Experience the Maeverhim way." They oft were astonished at the lack of fire in the town, and were quickly silenced and told to wait. He did enjoy jumping around, performing acrobatic stunts to please and entertain the groups. Into his teens, the groups of travelers became less interested in him, so he took to learning the cultivating skill that his mother and father were so well known for. He worked hard, building his knowledge of how to grow, and the influence Grothar had on their people.

During his adolescence, he developed his interests in plants and in Wind Magic. A local wind mage had been talking of how many Maeverhim study Wind Magic. He did a few demonstrations, asking young children to join in on his Magical Teachings, and apply for teachings at the local School. Also during that same period in his life, he began developing his various skills as a cultivator. He learned how to identify certain plants with the help of his parents; which were harmful and which were safe only if cultivated properly. His parents also showed him the secret to growing Nightshimmer on a person and making the beautiful necklaces his family is known for throughout many parts of the forest and the outside world. He spent many hard hours building his muscles as well as his knowledge of Cultivation.

One day however, on his 25th birthday, his mother, Eliás, and his father, Fiér, were riding from branch to branch, taking any method possible to get to the town of Seraia, placed high on stilts by walkways and bridge-ways. His parents then led him through the small town toward the market place, selling their wares and trying to teach Avásh how to do the same. When they had walked into a produce market, Avásh noticed that they were being followed by a few others, seeming to keep their distance, but hide when he looked their way. They were dark in skin tone, and had bright fiery red hair.

 Both of them had yellow eyes... nothing like he had ever seen. They were Human-like in nature, standing out amongst the fair skinned Maeverhim. Their intentions looked menacing, although no one seemed to notice. They walked slowly and even though they received questioning looks, they walked with confidence and self-importance. When they had reached the appropriate bridge-way before the stall, the followers followed them in and knocked out Avásh. They then sent forth a ring of burning ice, surround his parents. As his parents were not skilled in anything but cultivation, experienced in simple trade and how to grow and breed plants; hence they couldn't resist the attack. Avásh, being knocked unconscious, sat frozen in fear. The bridge-way, although a short distance away from a high-traffic area, was concealed by its shade from the trees and natural sound barriers, making it hard for one to hear or see anything going on in that area.

The mages closed the ring around Eliás and Fiér eventually causing suffocation, as the fire burned all oxygen in the immediate area. They took the nightshimmer vine necklaces from their necks, planning to use it to for the entrancement and manipulation of people whom they would most likely torture for information about how to win a war with a warring tribe or some ridiculous reason like that. With a final kick to Avásh's stomach, they ran off leaving him and his dead parents in the bridge-way before the stall. When Avásh awoke, he saw his parents lying there, and their nighshimmer vine necklaces removed from their neck and a slight burn mark where they were cut. Although it wasn't intended, the knock that rendered him unconscious caused acute amnesia and Avásh lost most memories of his childhood, but not of his recent memories of the School or his training. He hopes one day that someone can help him remember what happened... if that's at all possible. A few hours after the attack, the shop-keep had left the cloth-covered stall for a moment for a breath of fresh air. As she pulled back the cloth, she found Avásh and his parents lying on the floor. The shopkeeper quickly gathered the other elves from the Sharadon Forest and sent Avásh away to her house to recover; as for the parents, when Avásh was healed enough to walk again, they gave them a proper funeral; the Maeverhim way.

From that day on, Avásh has lived for the most part by himself, with the shop-keep and school taking care of him. The shop-keep, Váras, has now become something of a mother figure to Avásh.

Within a few years after, as he was just getting used to being on his own, well with the help of Váras of course, he had met a young man, with unusually dark skin, and very vibrant red hair. The man wanted to see what Avásh did, as he claimed himself a scholar and asked to be shown about the Maeverhim, although when Avásh presented the man to Váras, she seemed a bit concerned. As they both entered Avásh's treetop domicile, the fiery-haired man grabbed Avásh and threw him out of his house with fire coming forth from his fingertips, down further and further, people watching him float down, unable to reach or help him, as Avásh had made a point not to live near any platforms that could become crowded an noisy. As Avásh fell further and further he realized that there wasn't going to be a happy ending to his ordeal. With landing made softer only by his clothes, Avásh was gently settled onto the ground, and when he last looked up, he saw the fire-headed mage gliding silently between people. As soon as he walk a few peds without falling, he quickly made his way toward the edge of the forest, out toward Seria, although he moved beneath the 15 ped-high stilts, and tried to spare himself some of the shame that would find him if he ever went back.

Although Maeverhim aren't usually exiled for being pushed onto the ground, Avásh had set up a plan, many years prior, saying that he will try to seek out whomever killed his parents. Although it seems rather impossible, Avásh finds that it may not be so bad, and that one day, in his old age, he may move back to the Maeverhim village, to teach Wind Magic at the local school, or perhaps to teach his techniques of cultivation to the younger generation so they may become masters at cultivation too.


The reason for his parent's death, although unclear to him, was revealed some time ago, in his distant past when he was only two years old. His mother and father were traveling toward Seraia on a cool, breezy day. They moved almost silently though the trees, their clothes rustling only slightly from their generated wind. Regretfully however, on their way their, as Fiér was jumping from branch to branch following Eliás who was carrying their son, she had made a regretful fall and had plummeted to the ground, her feet almost touching against the deep, cool, brown earth.

When Fiér saw this he quickly looked around as to see witnesses, while Eliás, proficient in Wind Magic, propelled herself up, back on to the branches. Fiér was shocked. She was no mage. She was merely a cultivator. She had lied to him all those years. She broke down crying, and Avásh, scared of what was going on, began to ball his eyes out.

Fiér looked unto her as if it were the first time. She looked scared, lonely, much like Avásh strapped to her front. She sat down on the branch and all time seemed to stand still.

When what seemed like ages had passed Fiér asked in his deep, rich voice that had won her over so many years ago, " Did you touch the ground?"

This time, the baby merely looked up at his father, and a single tear tread tracks down his cheek.

     Although unknown to them, there was one witness; Delethár. Delethár was a man of leisure and destruction. He was known as the nastiest human ever to live. He had created dyes and tinctures capable of curing wounds, or infecting them in the slowest and most painful way possible. He had been the one who had created a fiery-red dye that he was so well known for. He claimed that if one wore it, they would be capable of doing anything. In reality, he used a special ingredient; the juice of the Nightshimmer vine. Using unspeakable ways, he would extract the juice in order to control those who wore the dye in their hair. A pseudo 'hypnosis-in-a-bottle.' For a man of science he still had no idea how the necklaces stayed alive. As Delethár watched this spectacle, he told his minions who weren't too close behind, to wait until he was older.

There was a reason why he wanted Avásh to grow up. He would be the only person who knew how to keep the Nightshimmer  necklace alive on one's neck, besides his parents. Unknown to even his minions, Delethár had not created a completely successful dye. The side effects always included spontaneous combustion, and the minions always ended up dying before they could become truly useful.

" Maybe their necklaces have the key?" Thought Delethár.

Magical Experiences:
   At the age of 19, Avásh was accepted into the local Maeverhim School where he would learn to become a Wind Mage, from his teacher, Cerás. His schooling, although not terribly difficult, he would describe as tedious, but well worth the effort. There wasn't much that he didn't want to know, although his lack of experience hindered him in learning it. His clumsiness often created more havoc then intended. His lack of knowledge leads him into a world of continued learning as he tries to experience the world;

Breezes: Although he usually summons a slight breeze, he can also create a strong breeze to help sway the clouds toward or away from him, in order to get the best amount of sunlight necessary for his plants.

The Grey King: Avásh believes, as many Maeverhim do, in The Grey King. Avásh hopes that with a prayer to the Grey King, however successful or unsuccessful it may be, that he can get the correct weather patterns needed to help his plants grow.

Vanish: Avásh can also make things Vanish, which also entertained the guests at his house. In cultivation, if a plant is getting to much sunlight, but he can't move it to a shadier spot, he might simply make the plant Vanish, to keep most of the suns rays away from the plant. This procedure however, is very delicate and often ends up ruining the plants as they do not quite function properly; as they might grow extra stalks, or grow too large, or even not grow ever again, and so Avásh has trouble finding a truly significant use for a cultivator.

Reflect: Avásh can images of his target unto others. This does not really come in handy, only when a costumer would like a closer look at a certain item. Avásh can reflect the image of the item onto himself, allowing the costumer a closer look, without the removal of said item.

 Although he has great knowledge of these skills, he has no real reason to use them, mostly fun and games, but the protection of his people is the real goal in his mind.

Belongings:

- A bag full of seeds of random sorts, although he can tell what they are
- A small bag full of reagents to help him focus, given to him by Cerás.
- His traditional set of Maeverhim clothes.
- A rucksack full of a few small gardening tools as, he does volunteer work to spruce up some of the dying plants around town.
- His Nightshimmer Necklace placed around his neck.
- A few pieces of food such as an apple and some bread and cheese in case he doesn't have time to go back home for a complete meal.


Title: Re: Avásh ám Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim
Post by: Cyradin Lawabel on March 20, 2010, 03:36:50 PM
Hi there Avash, and welcome,

I can see you've done some research, which is good to see,

Just a few hints for you ...

If you could change your name (Damian Sul) to match your name in your header, that would be appreciated. If you click on Profile and then I think it is change profile information, there's a place there to change your display name.

I've just noticed that sometimes you spell his name with a v and sometimes you spell it with an r ... you might like to check on that, and spell it the correct way each time.

Magic in the world of Caelereth is quite different to magic in other places. People need to be trained in its use here. As a result, he will need to be aware of how he learnt it. It isn't a matter of waking up one day and finding that your character can use magic. Elves normally have mage schools in their tribes, and most others go to Ximax.

Also, even if your character doesn't know his history, you as the player knows it ... you'll need to provide some more clues as to what's gone on in his life. Simply saying 'he forgot his past' or something like that isn't really enough for the purposes of the CD Mods and Administrators.

I hope that helps you, and that with the help of the Mods, Administrators and other commentators you have a speedy approval.


Title: Re: Avásh ám Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim
Post by: Avásh ám Térqu'ypheró on March 20, 2010, 10:36:13 PM
Thank you so much! I didn't even realize about the spelling error! I'm quite sorry!

I was wondering, isn't there a chart of some sort or another that tells the minimum age a Mage must be to be a certain level? I would like to know... and if there's any more information on the magic system, I would like to learn... I'm eager and hopefully approved!


Title: Re: Avásh ám Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim
Post by: Cyradin Lawabel on March 20, 2010, 11:02:40 PM
Here is a link to Magic (http://www.santharia.com/adv/index.php?topic=4477.0) in Santharia. This gives the table of ages vs magical ability and some other details about the magic system here. Malexia and Sylvia are two moderators that have knowledge of the magic system and Kalina is another person. There are others as well, but those are the three that spring to mind. The other thing to do would be to look at some mage characters that are approved and go from there. Fu Luft and Malexia are two such characters.

I hope that helps, and I look forward to seeing you approved.


Title: Re: Avásh ám Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim
Post by: Avásh ám Térqu'ypheró on March 21, 2010, 01:55:22 AM
Thank you so much! I know it's going to be hard being a mage, but I like to start out with something challenging! Thank you!


Title: Re: Avásh ám Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim/Cultivator-Mage
Post by: Valan Nonesuch on March 21, 2010, 03:13:08 AM
Avash, we have a rule about characters.
You, as the author, are omniscient. This means that even if your character does not know, you must know. Amnesia, poor memory and other such things don't mean you can skip over bits of his history.

 I advise you to read up on the Maeverhim, since they take a very different view about travel than others. Maeverhim who leave the Sharadon are considered "earth-burned" and can never return to their people. We also try to make sure that elves are not humans with pointy ears, if that makes sense to you.


Title: Re: Avásh ám Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim/Cultivator-Mage
Post by: Avásh ám Térqu'ypheró on March 21, 2010, 03:39:45 AM
I have read up on them, and no, I do not understand... what do you mean?


Title: Re: Avásh ám Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim/Cultivator-Mage
Post by: Valan Nonesuch on March 21, 2010, 04:05:05 AM
Omniscient author: You have to write down what happened to your character in your history, regardless of whether or not he has amnesia because you as the author must know what happened.

Quote
Keep in mind that all relevant information, whether it is known to your character or not, should be included. Amnesia and the like is no excuse for leaving out any such information. (http://www.santharia.com/adv/index.php?page=12#Basic%20Requirements)

At the moment there is no explanation as to the events in your CD, which doesn't quite cut it.


The attack you describe is completely out of character for elves. Perhaps the best word to describe elves in this case would be "enlightened". They're more community minded than humans as a rule and less "bad" on the whole. If your parents were killed, the community would have taken care of you. That's what elves do. They're not perfect, but randomly attacking farmers with magic is not going to happen.
 If you touch the ground however, you're effectively dead to them and will be shunned by all. Earthburning is a big deal.

Mages are also few and far between and there's no reason why a child would recognize one. They don't wear uniforms after all.

Farming probably isn't the right word for what the Maeverhim tribe practices since it implies something with closer kinship to agriculture (planting and harvesting, usually on a large scale) than it does to foraging or planting a vegetable garden on your windowsill.


If you write a character that is a mage, you must have a magic section. Check the approved character archives (http://www.santharia.com/adv/index.php?board=12.0) if you'd like an idea as to what to write.

This should cover everything for the time being. I'm going to set your posticon back to the pencil. Kindly colour the changes to your CD since it will help the mods make sure you've covered everything.


Title: Re: Avásh'ám'Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim/Cultivator-Mage
Post by: Malexia Vendu on March 21, 2010, 11:36:58 AM
Avash,

Keep in mind that the Maeverhim habitats have no "alleys" to speak of. They live in trees and stepping on the ground is considered bad.

Also, those magi wouldn't carry swords. Typically, mages do not train in weapons as their magic training takes all of their focus and time.

Magic schools in an elven culture is usually an academy of sorts located within the elves' homeland. It would involve teachers and students practicing a variety of levels of magic. There are several levels of magic, but for a new character, we advise level 3 or below.

Before we start down the path of magic and all of its various rules and regulations, let's make sure we have the rest of the CD correct and updated. Once done, we can work the magic stuff.


Title: Re: Avásh'ám'Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim/Cultivator-Mage
Post by: Avásh ám Térqu'ypheró on March 21, 2010, 11:43:41 AM
I never said that he had a sword... I'm confused now


Title: Re: Avásh'ám'Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim/Cultivator-Mage
Post by: Malexia Vendu on March 21, 2010, 11:48:42 AM
You must have just changed it. I meant the people who knocked out your parents. Though they wouldn't have bows either.


Title: Re: Avásh'ám'Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim/Cultivator-Mage
Post by: Avásh ám Térqu'ypheró on March 21, 2010, 11:50:29 AM
Is there anything else that's necessary?


Title: Re: Avásh'ám'Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim/Cultivator-Mage
Post by: Valan Nonesuch on March 22, 2010, 04:42:11 AM
See the earlier comments. What you've done is the bare minimum, at best and you've ignored some earlier comments. Allow me to make it clear.

  • Elves are not violent murderers. At all.
  • Mages are not at all common.
  • Mages do not wear uniforms (how would a kid know a mage from anyone else)
  • You need to explain whatever happens in your CD. Even if you do not want to.
  • That means why on earth anyone would want to murder a pair of berry picking elves.
  • Amnesia is never an excuse for not doing this. The author knows everything.
  • Your magic section is not a magic section. Try taking a look at the one here (http://www.santharia.com/adv/index.php?topic=6946.0) for an example.
  • Your entire CD could use more detail. It is a skeleton at the moment.


Title: Re: Avásh'ám'Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim/Cultivator-Mage
Post by: Malexia Vendu on March 22, 2010, 05:44:21 AM
Avash, please calm down.  :pet:

No one is trying to yell at you and give you a verbal beating. Perhaps the comments given so far have not helped in the way you would have liked them to. That is ok. Some people respond differently to different kinds of comments. Let's take a step back and start over again, ok? Writing a CD for this site takes some work. You are trying to do some complicated stuff because elves and magic are not simple. Please be patient and do not get discouraged. We all want to see you succeed!

First, we need start with the basics. Do not get offended, but I must point out how to make this right. It is not a beating. The concept of an elf must be looked at first.

1. Ok, so you want to play an elf? That is good. But, you must follow what the tribe entry says about the Maeverhim. Elves live a long time. They live over 400 years. That means at 25 years old, an elf would be considered a child. Do not think like a human ages. For an elf to be 25 years old, he is actually about 60 to 70 years old in -elf- years. Don't try to understand it. Just trust me.

2. The Maeverhim live in trees. They do not have doorsteps, alleys, streets or "houses". You must read the entry and understand it. Everyone who makes a CD must understand about the tribe they are creating.

3. Elves do not murder. Let me explain. Elves are peaceful and do not use violence. Only the dark elves are violent. The Maeverhim are not dark elves, so they would rather be peaceful and talk problems over. If you want murderers, then they would have to be another race like humans.

4. Amnesia. I understand why you write about amnesia. Your character may have amnesia, but for the CD, you need to write about his life. In other words, write about what happened to him before he got amnesia and once he got it, he simply can't remember it. You are the author. Do you know what happened to Avash before his amnesia? If so, write it down.

Does this make sense so far?


Title: Re: Avásh'ám'Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim/Cultivator-Mage
Post by: Avásh ám Térqu'ypheró on March 22, 2010, 05:48:25 AM
Yeah I guess so.. I'll fix it... humans can use magic too... so... perfect... thank you... that's at least helpful


Title: Re: Avásh'ám'Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim/Cultivator-Mage
Post by: Athviaro Shyu-eck-Silfayr on March 22, 2010, 06:33:58 AM
Whoah, Avash, cool it. Shouting at the mods will get you nowhere at all. They do try to help, but you have to do the work. You can't expect them to post the entire magic section for you to read? Is it that hard to click on a link? I advise you spend a few hours - or just an hour or so - reading about magic, elves and the rest in a calm receptive mood. Then ask nicely. The mods have RL too - they do not only exist for your benefit. I'm sorry if people seem to be shouting, but Caelereth has to be internally consistent.


Title: Re: Avásh'ám'Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim/Cultivator-Mage
Post by: Avásh ám Térqu'ypheró on March 29, 2010, 10:22:05 AM
Does it need more flesh? Is it too skinny? I think I've come to terms with how people state things... so give it all you got...


Title: Re: Avásh'ám'Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim/Cultivator-Mage
Post by: Deklitch Hardin on April 03, 2010, 10:51:37 PM
Hi Avash,

Sorry for taking a few days to get back to you on your CD. It is starting to look better.

I'm having a bit of trouble working out where one strength/weakness ends and the next one starts.

With my CDs, I find it easier to give a title to strengths/weaknesses, and then describe how it helps/hinders my character.

For example in your case I'd say

Cultivator: ... ... ...

Wind Mage: Avash is a level __ wind mage and hopes to one day be a stronger and famous mage. This helps him because ...

See ... I've broken your first two strengths (at least I think they are two seperate strengths) into two seperate paragraphs.

See if you can do something like that with your other strengths and weaknesses. We are getting there, lets keep on going with the process and get you approved, shall we? :) :thumbup:


Title: Re: Avásh'ám'Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim/Cultivator-Mage
Post by: Avásh ám Térqu'ypheró on April 19, 2010, 04:20:14 AM
Anything else? Am I ready? Is there something else wrong? It's been a few days now...


Title: Re: Avásh'ám'Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim/Cultivator-Mage
Post by: Deklitch Hardin on April 19, 2010, 04:44:34 AM
Avásh,

It is easiest on the mods and CD commentators if you make a short post in your CD thread letting us know its ready for more comments, as well as changing the icon to the '!'. Making a brief even along the lines of 'Comments integrated. More comments requested.' brings it to the top of the pile of CDs and brings it back to our attention. Thankyou for bringing it to our attention now. I'll try to look at it when I get off work this afternoon, unless another mod gets to it first.

Dek


Title: Re: Avásh'ám'Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim/Cultivator-Mage
Post by: Avásh ám Térqu'ypheró on April 23, 2010, 11:08:00 AM
Comments/Critique requested. Thank you very much for taking your time to look at this!


Title: Re: Avásh'ám'Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim/Cultivator-Mage
Post by: Shatí Úp on April 24, 2010, 01:49:13 PM
Hello Avá, I am a nely titled character but with the research I have done on Maeverhim elves coupled with my poking around on the sight, I believe I am pretty knowledgable.  I will be commenting in blue.  I must state though that although I am pretty profficient with the magic system now, I still have alot to learn.

Name: Avásh'ám'Térqu'ypheró ( Wind and Weather)

Gender: Male

Age: 25 (16 by appearance)

Race: Elf

Tribe: Maeverhim

Occupation: Cultivator/ Wind Mage

Title: The Grey King's Mage

Overview: Avásh, at the age of 25, grew up with cultivators for parents, although they often had tourists showing up on his doorstep hoping to spend a day and: " Experience the Maeverhim way." (If I am right human turists usually don't pass much farther than Seria and yet your house is located somewhere deeper in the forests) His parents, both pure in breed, knew their trade very well, and passed on the skills to him. He is quiet, and reserved, and likes  people, once he warms up to them. He has a big heart and likes meeting new people. He's young and has the whole world ahead of him.

Appearance

Height:  1 Ped, 2 Fores, 3 Nailsbreadth, 2 Grains

Weight: 1 Pygge, 1 Heb, 3 Ods, 4 Mut

Hair Color: Dark brown

Eye Color: Dark brown

Physical Appearance

Body Structure and Physical Features: Avásh sports many of the traditional Maeverhim features including the naturally black fingernails and toenails, although the normally green or blue eyes that are commonly seen in the tribe have been substituted for his dark chocolate eyes. His face is thin, as well as the rest of his body structure. He is skinny, but no one really notices due to his clothing. His hair is medium length and always pulled back into a ponytail. This comes as somewhat of a shock to his family members. They do not quite understand why it is pulled back, but he reasons that it is due to his inability to work with it falling in his seeds, food, plants, and dirty underwear piles. Eventually however, he decided one day to take most of his hair off; on the day one year after his parents had died. He has been growing it back ever since. This also has him stand out somewhat in the crowd of long-haired Maeverhim. His cheekbones are high, his lips, and brow stern, but when he smiles, one knows all is well. He has longer legs than normal, accounting for about 55 percent of his height rather than the normal 50 percent. He has lean, long muscle, making him resemble something akin to a not-quite-so-attractive woman, and is often mistaken for it, but he shrugs off comments like those, as the persons commenting don't realize it at the time. He also a very short Maeverhim, although he is still very young and hasn't h ad time to finish growing. His short height gives him a slight disadvantage when it comes to playing games with the others and climbing tress and the like.

Clothing: Baggy blue and green garb that catches the wind in a majestic way. His attire is traditional like that of most of the other Maeverhim; baggy pants and shorts designed to break the stories he descends. He also sports a necklace made from the nightshimmer vines, although no one knows how it stays alive... He also has one nice set of clothes, special for holidays, and one other that he wares on his parent's death day, as to remember them (If Avásh has amnesia how could he remember them?). His holiday garb includes a slightly less baggy white shirt, with oddly enough, a collar, for it makes him feel dressy, gleaming with nightshimmer vine knitted into it; and his rememberence clothes include that of a very dark green, with dark blue stitching, although he almost always wears his traditional set of clothes.

Personality: Being quiet and reserved for most of his life, Avásh has a hard time warming up to people, but once he does, he creates a friendship that lasts a lifetime, although his prejudice against fire often gets him in trouble with the tourists. He likes playing around with others, as well as trying new things. He is very adventurous and loves to do anything outdoorsy. He oft goes out to Seraia just to see what people do, how they react, and what he can do to help. He is quite simple in nature, although he is something of a mentalist. He enjoys figuring out how people tick

Strengths and Weaknesses

Strengths:
Cultivator:
Avásh is a very well practiced cultivator. He can sow almost any seed watch it bloom with radiance with the help of The Grey King (I'm not completely sure about this but I think this would fall under clerical magic which requires a whole different set of training then Ximixian magic.). Also, due to his knowledge of cultivation, herbalists also find him helpful as he can grow things much quicker than one would have expected. He takes pride in this, and Váras helps him sell some of the herbs he has grown; as he is still very shy.

Wind Mage: Level 1
Avásh hopes to become a great mage one day, as he has seen many other Wind Mages pass through and send a slight breeze his way as thanks. He is skilled in Wind Magic, hoping one day to be a recognized as a someone to turn to for help. He has been taking courses from the School for 4 years now and is quite skilled, although he still has a long way to go. He often has trouble getting near other mages due to his  past experience with Fire and Water Mages, although he enjoys watching tourists, that visit his town, jump in glee when he sends a little breeze their way as a goodbye.

Mentalist:
He often examines people very closely, watching their actions and what they say so he can help them in the best way possible, and for the people who he dislikes, he can decide how to wrong them if they wronged him, mostly through verbal exploitation. He can often find out exactly what to say to make people reveal their true feelings, or, in the case of people he doesn't like, he can create mental havoc, breaking their hearts in the most cruel of ways (I can't quite tell if you're talking about using wind magic here, but if you are then Avásh is definately not skilled enough to perform this type of magic.).

Height:
His short stature, is at times a disadvantage, but it can be advantageous. During training at the School, as well as during some hide-and-seek games he still often plays, he can fit into smaller spaces, as well as become more friendly with the non-natives as he can, for lack of a better phrase, "bring it down to their level."

Weaknesses:

Poor Salesperson:
Although Avásh is an experienced cultivator, he often has trouble selling his goods to others; he is often overly generous and so ready to please that he hurts his loved ones as well as himself in the process (Isnt this a seperate weakness?). He is clumsy and oft not to handle fragile object(Again, isnt this a seperate weakness?).

Memory Loss:
 Due to his memory lost, he often avoids questions about his past and substitutes them with questions about the his necklace. It also causes him some confusion from time to time, as he cannot remember the "cherished childhood memories" that everyone else talks about, only the ones of a few recent years.

Rebellious Nature:
He also doesn't enjoy complying with people or authoritative figures. He has a hard time swallowing his pride and doing as others say, unless of course, it is elder or the Rónn or Ránn. This often got him  in trouble as a child, becuase he had a hard time enjoying guests who did not enjoy kids.

Height
His short height also makes him very tired very quickly, as the others can take nice long strides, while he must take at least four times as many to keep up.

Brief History:
Not much is known about Avásh or what his past was like. He can only remember a few happy moments in his life before he turned 25. During his childhood, he grew up learning to swing from tree to tree, training on the platforms which held the lounging, what the humans would call, " Big Beanbag-chairs." If he fell, he would scold himself, always saying that if he ever became Earthburned, he would move on to greater adventures, outside of Maeverhim country. As far back as he could remember, his parents held parties inviting humans and those of other races to come and "Experience the Maeverhim way." They oft were astonished at the lack of fire in the town, and were quickly silenced and told to wait. He did enjoy jumping around, performing acrobatic stunts to please and entertain the groups. Into his teens, the groups of travelers became less interested in him, so he took to learning the cultivating skill that his mother and father were so well known for. He worked hard, building his knowlege of how to grow, and the influence Grothar had on their people. One day however,on his 25th birthday, his mother, Eliás, and his father, Fiér, were riding from branch to branch, taking any method possible to get to the town of Seraia, placed high on stilts by walkways and bridge-ways. His parents then lead him through the small town toward the market place, selling their wares and trying to teach Avásh how to do the same. When they had walked into a produce market, Avásh noticed that they were being followed by a few others, seeming to keep their distance, but hide when he looked their way. They were dark in skin tone, and had bright fiery red hair. Both of them had yellow eyes... nothing like he had ever seen. They were Human-like in nature, standing out amongst the fair skinned Maeverhim. Their intentions looked menacing, although no one seemed to notice. They walked slowly and even though they received questioning looks, they walked with confidence and self-importance. When they had reached the appropriate bridge-way before the stall, the followers followed them in and knocked out Avásh. They then sent forth a ring of burning ice, surround his parents. As his parents were not skilled in anything but cultivation, experienced in simple trade and how to grow and breed plants; hence they couldn't resist the attack. The mages closed the ring around Eliás and Fiér eventually causing suffocation, as the fire burned all oxygen in the immediate area. They took the nightshimmer vine necklaces from their necks, planning to use it to for the entrancement and manipulation of others. Before leaving the area, they tried to remove all evidence that might lead someone back to them; as well as melting the ice and extinguishing the fire. With a final kick to Avásh's stomach, they ran off leaving him and his dead parents in the bridge-way before the stall. (Valin is right,mages are usually solitary and don't wear any uniformal clothing.  You also don't explain why anybody would attack a group of peacefull elves who live in trees and don't harm anybody. When Avásh awoke, he saw his parents lying there, and their nighshimmer vine necklaces removed from their neck and a slight burn mark where they were cut. Although it wasn't intended, the knock that rendered him unconscious caused acute amnesia and Avásh lost most memories of his childhood, but not of his recent memories of the School or his training. He hopes one day that someone can help him remember what happened... if that's at all possible. A few hours after the attack, the shop-keep had left the cloth-covered stall for a moment for a breath of fresh air. As she pulled back the cloth, she found Avásh and his parents lying on the floor. She quickly gathered the other elves from the Sharadon Forest and sent him to her house to recover; as for the parents, when Avásh was able to walk again, they gave them a proper funeral; the Maeverhim way. From that day on, Avásh has lived for the most part by himself, with the shop-keep and school taking care of him. The shop-keep, Váras, has now become something of a mother figure to Avásh.

Magical Experiences:
   At the age of 19, Avásh was accepted into the local School (Corect me if I'm wrong but there is no official school that teaches magic except for Ximax which is almost a thousand miles away from Sharadon Forest.  If Avásh showed interest in magic he would likely be schooled by a local wind mage.), where he would learn to become a Wind Mage. His schooling, as most would say, was grueling and tough. There wasn't much that he didn't want to know, although his lack of experience hindered him in learning it. His clumsiness often created more havoc then intended. His lack of knowledge leads him into a world of continued learning as he tries to experience the world; although he can only summon a slight breeze, the Grey King should help him with any ordeals that might be major in the  near-coming future. Through his practice of magic and the local teachings he has received, he can only conjure a simple breeze, make things Vanish, which also entertained the guests at his house, and Reflect images of his target unto others. Although he has great knowledge of these skills, he has no real reason to use them, mostly fun and games, but the protection of his people is the real goal in his mind.

Avásh Carries With Him:

- A bag full of seeds of random sorts, although he can tell what they are
- A book for later spells and current spells that he has learned (I don't beleive mages use spellbooks.  However, being a 1st level mage he would probably need reagents to help himself focus.)
- His traditional set of Maeverhim clothes
- A rucksack full of a few small gardening tools, his spell book, as he does volunteer work to spruce up some of the dying plants in his village (A 1st level wind mage can deffintely not spruce up a plant using majic.)
- His Nightshimmer Necklace placed around his neck
- A few pieces of food such as an apple and some bread and cheese in case he doesn't have time to go back home for a complete meal


Title: Re: Avásh'ám'Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim/Cultivator-Mage
Post by: Avásh ám Térqu'ypheró on April 24, 2010, 11:42:11 PM
Haha! I'm sorry! I thought that I had explained some of that! Haha! Okay, well I think that I hopefully explained everything... and thank you, I don't know much about the magic system but I would like to know more! Thank you very much! Anything else?


Title: Re: Avásh'ám'Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim/Cultivator-Mage
Post by: Avásh ám Térqu'ypheró on April 25, 2010, 12:01:13 AM
Wait... well I'm not sure how to insert quotes, but doesn't it say on the Magic page (located left under General Information) that:

" Most Elven tribes can be assumed to have their own magic school, and Elven characters have the option of being trained in their tribe's school instead of the Academy of Magic."

So couldn't I technically go to the Maeverhim's local school, which I believe that there is one right? Correct me if I'm wrong. So that way I could learn from the local school?


Title: Re: Avásh'ám'Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim/Cultivator-Mage
Post by: Avásh ám Térqu'ypheró on April 25, 2010, 12:09:54 AM
And under the Maeverhim page... doesn't it say ( Under weapons):

"Their closeness with Grothar gives them the ability to use his powers if they require it."

Or would that too be posted under Clerical Magic? I interpreted it as any Maeverhim could use it... again, correct me if I'm wrong


Title: Re: Avásh'ám'Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim/Cultivator-Mage
Post by: Shatí Úp on April 25, 2010, 12:19:03 AM
As I said I'm not sure about the clerical magic part, so you should go talk to Kalína.  I'm pretty sure that there's no official Maeverhim school that teaches magic, and as I said before he would learn under a single wind mage.


Title: Re: Avásh'ám'Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim/Cultivator-Mage
Post by: Alexandre Scriabin on April 25, 2010, 01:31:13 AM
With all of that said, such a skill is still beyond your capabilities. The Elven magic systems may be a bit cloudy of a subject, but such manipulation/perception of that kind isn't within the repertoire of a beginner.


Title: Re: Avásh'ám'Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim/Cultivator-Mage
Post by: Deklitch Hardin on April 25, 2010, 04:58:33 AM
I was going to post on this last night before I went to bed, but I was too tired and sleep was more important to me. :D

In any case, I'm here now, so here goes ...

1) Magic System. It can be assumed that the Maeverhim (as an elven tribe) have their own school of magic. However, for the time being, we simply following the same restrictions as for mages who study at Ximax. I think it is safe to assume you can study at the local level.

2) Clerical Magic is currently on the Restricted list (http://santharia.com/adv/index.php?page=15) as it hasn't been developed sufficiently as yet. Your character calling upon Grothar and having Grothar doing things for him is within the realms of clerical magic. Besides, as Alexandre has said, the abilities to do so would be beyond the capabilities of your character as a level one, even if it wasn't restricted. From my perspective you can't include the part about calling in Gothar in your CD. However, there is nothing to prevent you from talking about the fact that like others of his tribe that Avash honours Grothar.

3) I am unsure what you mean under your mentalist part. However, having both the ability to do Wind Magic and this one (which almost sounds like the ability of the Mind Soothers/Mind Meddlers) would make the character too powerful and unbalanced. I'd strongly recommend that you choose one of them and eliminate the other. Possibly eliminate the Mentalist.

4) Getting back to your magic, go through the list of wind magic spells. Look for ones that are meant for level one mages and see which ones would be of most help to you. (There are only three of them with complete spell write ups. Try something like the following ... Indicate the name of the spell, then write about how he uses it. Then go onto the next one and do the same thing.

5) You might like to take a look at some approved mage CDs. Consider, for example Fu Luft (http://www.santharia.com/adv/index.php?topic=6289.0), a level 3 Wind Mage, or Lyrien Raohalnireal (http://www.santharia.com/adv/index.php?topic=5978.msg240595#msg240595) another level 3 wind amge. They have a focus (Fu Luft - Juggling, Lyrien - Playing Music) which their elemental magic supports). You need to work out how your control of the element of wind helps you with your focus (cultivation). To be honest, I can't see the link between our Wind Magic and Cultivation ... I think a stronger link could be made between our Water Magic and Cultivation. But the choice of school is totally up to you.

The best thing is possibly to wait until Malexia or Kalina or someone else with a detailed knowledge of magic is able to come by with their advice regarding this. Although I have a mage CD myself, I would not suggest that I am proficient in the Ximax Magic System ... I'm changing the icon to the question mark ... hopefully a magic expert will be by to give you some advice, Avash. If a magic expert comes along and says my points above are incorrect, please follow their advice and not mine.

Dek


Title: Re: Avásh'ám'Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim/Cultivator-Mage - Magic Help Needed
Post by: Valan Nonesuch on April 25, 2010, 05:32:51 AM
If what he's describing is wind magic (the bit at the end of the Mentalist section) it doesn't sound too far out of reach. Level three Earth Mages manage something along similar lines by using Delerium. I doubt that the effect would be as pronounced as is described in the CD however.

As far as I can tell, a general decrease in the influence of wind in a target is likely to make them slow of thought, less clear of head and irritable (lightness, clarity and calmness respectively). It would not be a long effect and I doubt it would be a particularly drastic change. Relatively minor, changing their attitude from nonchalant to gruff or rude.


Title: Re: Avásh'ám'Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim/Cultivator-Mage - Magic Help Needed
Post by: Avásh ám Térqu'ypheró on April 25, 2010, 05:52:38 AM
I changed instead the Mentalist part to just Observer, for now, unless it is possible, but if not, that's my back-up plan.


Title: Re: Avásh'ám'Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim/Cultivator-Mage - Magic Help Needed
Post by: Malexia Vendu on April 25, 2010, 07:11:53 AM
Dek and Valan are exactly correct. I really do not have much more to add to what they commented already.

For growth and cultivation, water magic is the best school to study. Wind magic properties are mostly movement, quickness, thought and intelligence. Water allows growth and nourishment.

All elven tribes have magic schools within their homelands. You can study magic in the forests by simply saying that you learned magic from whatever local magic academy is there. Currently, the elven magic academies/schools are not developed so you can't go into real detail there. But it is generally agreed that they train their own magi as elves rarely attend Ximax. But, as Dek said, with the lack of real elven academy detail, we have to use Ximax as a general rule.

Also, elves take to magic very naturally. To say you are clumsy and difficult to teach magic to is not characteristic of elves. All elves have a natural gift for learning magic and though it still takes many years to master, elves and magic are very compatible and easily integrated. So do not think that you learning magic is "hard". Neither is it easy, and not all elves become arch-magi, but a level 1 mage knows many basic techniques of Sphere I and can cast a variety of spells other than summon wind. Many of your spells will be temporary and not very powerful, but you can easily summon a strong breeze, befuddle someone's mind, or make yourself move very quickly. It's all how you apply the techniques, not the spells themselves.


Title: Re: Avásh'ám'Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim/Cultivator-Mage - Magic Help Needed
Post by: Avásh ám Térqu'ypheró on April 25, 2010, 09:21:05 AM
Oh no! I didn't mean to cause trouble! I'm so sorry! Well I understand... so I can modify what Avásh can do,  besides slight breezes? And I think that I was trying to say that I was clumsy with objects... like sharp objects tend to be stuck in various body parts of the people around him and are oft worn on his person...


Title: Re: Avásh'ám'Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim/Cultivator-Mage - Magic Help Needed
Post by: Valan Nonesuch on April 25, 2010, 11:26:21 AM
Quote
She quickly gathered the other elves from the Sharadon Forest and sent him to her house to recover; as for the parents, when Avásh was able to walk again, they gave them a proper funeral; the Maeverhim way. From that day on, Avásh has lived for the most part by himself, with the shop-keep and school taking care of him. The shop-keep, Váras, has now become something of a mother figure to Avásh.
Your sentence here is a little unclear as to who you're talking about since you switch from "Avash and his parents" to "She" and "him". I was honestly a bit confused.
I also wonder what you are intending to do with this character once approved. You are not (as of yet) an Earthburned Maerverhim so outside of a home thread you create, this character can't go anywhere. If you intend to make the character Earthburned, you may as well get it over with in the history.


Title: Re: Avásh'ám'Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim/Cultivator-Mage
Post by: Deklitch Hardin on April 25, 2010, 01:05:20 PM
Avásh,

As it looks like you've got some more work to do, I've changed your icon to the pencil. If you need any assistance, please ask us. Although the entry on the race says they mostly use wind magic, if another element suits your character better, feel free to use that one.

Just so you know ... magic characters are normally difficult to get right.

Dek


Title: Re: Avásh'ám'Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim/Cultivator-Mage
Post by: Avásh ám Térqu'ypheró on April 25, 2010, 02:26:07 PM
I'm wondering if there is any way to have my character function without becoming Earthburned. Is that at all possible, or no, because I would be almost useless due to my inability to function outside of raised trees and platforms?


Title: Re: Avásh'ám'Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim/Cultivator-Mage
Post by: Avásh ám Térqu'ypheró on April 25, 2010, 02:37:48 PM
If one is somehow pushed, all the way down to the bottom, is that exemption from being exiled? I heard that if you were born on the Earth, they'd give you passage because it was not truly your fault... I don't know...


Title: Re: Avásh'ám'Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim/Cultivator-Mage
Post by: Shatí Úp on April 25, 2010, 02:55:57 PM
I beleive it is possible that they might excuse those born on the ground.  However, if they were ever to touch the ground again after they had reastablished themselves with the Maeverhim elves, then they would be considered EarthBurned.


Title: Re: Avásh'ám'Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim/Cultivator-Mage
Post by: Avásh ám Térqu'ypheró on April 25, 2010, 04:22:54 PM
What if they were to say there because they thought they were exiled? Like Avásh fell, thought he was exiled and so left immediately, as to spare himself the shame?


Title: Re: Avásh'ám'Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim/Cultivator-Mage
Post by: Shatí Úp on April 25, 2010, 04:31:13 PM
If Avásh fell by accident I don't beleive he would be exiled.  He might be riduculed for a while but that's about it.  I beleive Avásh, being a Maeverhim elf, would probably know this to be the case.


Title: Re: Avásh'ám'Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim/Cultivator-Mage
Post by: Avásh ám Térqu'ypheró on April 25, 2010, 10:47:25 PM
True true.... hmm... I wonder if that was one of the things  he forgot? That would definitely make it more interesting...


Title: Re: Avásh'ám'Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim/Cultivator-Mage
Post by: Shatí Úp on April 26, 2010, 02:01:53 AM
There is one case I could think of where Avásh might accidentily be EarthBurned.  If he lost his memory and the awareness of what being EarthBurned means but the other Maeverhim elves didn't know this.  Even if he regained his memories many of his fellow elves would pobably ridicule and shun him to the point of forcing him out of the vilage.


Title: Re: Avásh'ám'Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim/Cultivator-Mage
Post by: Cár'scál Sae'llán on April 26, 2010, 04:17:32 AM
A small word of advice from me Avásh'ám. The violet that you are using to color your changes is extremely hard to read. Might I suggest using a different color? Perhaps a light blue or plum coloration might work better, and make the work of the mods a little easier.

I'd also like to suggest breaking up your history into paragraphs. With the way it is right now your CD is very messy, and kind of hard to read. Also I'll ask my brother to help you out with your magical section so that way you can get some sort of approval from another mage character. Hope that helps, and I'll be seeing you IC very soon. Keep up the hard work.

:Cár'scál Sae'llán:


Title: Re: Avásh'ám'Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim/Cultivator-Mage
Post by: Avásh ám Térqu'ypheró on April 26, 2010, 06:12:08 AM
Who's your brother?


Title: Re: Avásh'ám'Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim/Cultivator-Mage
Post by: Avásh ám Térqu'ypheró on April 26, 2010, 06:22:10 AM
and should I make it all one easy-to-read color? Most of those changes are old...


Title: Re: Avásh'ám'Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim/Cultivator-Mage
Post by: Deklitch Hardin on April 26, 2010, 06:32:55 AM
It'll probably be easier to make it all the one colour, Avash


Title: Re: Avásh'ám'Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim/Cultivator-Mage
Post by: Avásh ám Térqu'ypheró on April 26, 2010, 09:56:51 AM
You're English aren't you? Or have learned British English? How interesting... well I've changed most of it; headings in green, and subheadings in oragne


Title: Re: Avásh'ám'Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim/Cultivator-Mage
Post by: Deklitch Hardin on April 26, 2010, 10:33:56 AM
I wasn't making a comment of colour vs color, I was just agreeing with you that using a standard colour/color for your edits would be easier than using multiple ones. Using green for headings is also a good idea.

Yes, I learnt the non-US way of spelling words, but either way is fine here. :)


Title: Re: Avásh'ám'Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim/Cultivator-Mage
Post by: Avásh ám Térqu'ypheró on April 26, 2010, 10:50:19 AM
i was just making an observation is all... sorry!


Title: Re: Avásh'ám'Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim/Cultivator-Mage
Post by: Avásh ám Térqu'ypheró on April 30, 2010, 07:36:15 AM
Comments Requested


Title: Re: Avásh'ám'Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim/Cultivator-Mage
Post by: Alexandre Scriabin on April 30, 2010, 08:03:53 AM
From the overview-
Quote
He has a big heart and likes meeting new people.

From his personality-
Quote
Being quiet and reserved for most of his life, Avásh has a hard time warming up to people

Some clarification between what it means for him to like meeting strangers, and yet have a hard time warming up to them at the same time. It's conceivable, but you haven't described what exactly goes on with him in this, the first tier of friendship.

Quote
He is quite simple in nature, although he is something of a mentalist.

It is one thing to appreciate simplicity, but one cannot be quite simple in nature and be something of a mentalist. They are opposite preferences.

Your personality section is rather short as well. Any hobbies, quirks, flaws, passions, social tendencies, moral standards, musical taste maybe? Please jot them down and make your personality a more detailed 2 to 3 paragraphs. The personality section is key to playing and entertaining with your character well.

I'd appreciate it if you broke your physical appearance into two paragraphs. As it is, the block of text there is hard to read, and doesn't fit the structure of a paragraph, seeing as it deals with several topics.

Quote
He takes pride in this, and Váras helps him sell some of the herbs he has grown; as he is still very shy.

This shyness should probably be added to his list of weaknesses, so that it can both be taken into account during the game, and so that it's effects can be defined more clearly.

Quote
Observer:
 He often examines people very closely, watching their actions and what they say so he can help them in the best way possible; this comes in handy when people don't exactly want to admit something.

Could you please specify just how good he is at this?

Quote
Overgenerous:
 Avásh is often overly generous and so ready to please that he hurts his loved ones as well as himself in the process.

Just how generous is he? Would he spend a days profits on someone else at a whim? Or does he even go so far as to reserve a portion of his earnings every year for the benefit of others?
From his Weaknesses:
Quote
Memory Loss:
 Due to his memory lost, he often avoids questions about his past and substitutes them with questions about the his necklace. It also causes him some confusion from time to time, as he cannot remember the "cherished childhood memories" that everyone else talks about, only the ones of a few recent years.

From his History:
Quote
Not much is known about Avásh or what his past was like. He can only remember a few happy moments in his life before he turned 25.

Regardless of whether or not he remembers it, I can assure you it is still necessary to give some him some background for us. How did his parents come together? What was he like as an early adolescent?

Quote
One day however, on his 25th birthday, his mother, Eliás, and his father, Fiér, were riding from branch to branch, taking any method possible to get to the town of Seraia, placed high on stilts by walkways and bridge-ways. His parents then lead him through the small town toward the market place, selling their wares and trying to teach Avásh how to do the same. When they had walked into a produce market, Avásh noticed that they were being followed by a few others, seeming to keep their distance, but hide when he looked their way. They were dark in skin tone, and had bright fiery red hair.

 Both of them had yellow eyes... nothing like he had ever seen. They were Human-like in nature, standing out amongst the fair skinned Maeverhim. Their intentions looked menacing, although no one seemed to notice. They walked slowly and even though they received questioning looks, they walked with confidence and self-importance. When they had reached the appropriate bridge-way before the stall, the followers followed them in and knocked out Avásh. They then sent forth a ring of burning ice, surround his parents. As his parents were not skilled in anything but cultivation, experienced in simple trade and how to grow and breed plants; hence they couldn't resist the attack.

The mages closed the ring around Eliás and Fiér eventually causing suffocation, as the fire burned all oxygen in the immediate area. They took the nightshimmer vine necklaces from their necks, planning to use it to for the entrancement and manipulation of people whom they would most likely torture for information about how to win a war with a warring tribe or some ridiculous reason like that. With a final kick to Avásh's stomach, they ran off leaving him and his dead parents in the bridge-way before the stall. When Avásh awoke, he saw his parents lying there, and their nighshimmer vine necklaces removed from their neck and a slight burn mark where they were cut. Although it wasn't intended, the knock that rendered him unconscious caused acute amnesia and Avásh lost most memories of his childhood, but not of his recent memories of the School or his training.

How did this happen, that these Mages came up into the trees, and were permitted to be amongst his people? It's plausible, but how? Why did someone decide all of a sudden that common cultivators from a peaceful, reclusive race, just had to be murdered? He may not know this, but we certainly would like an explanation of such an unusual event as wanton murder in the trees.


Title: Re: Avásh'ám'Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim/Cultivator-Mage
Post by: Thaelel Swordmar on April 30, 2010, 04:20:15 PM
Comments and corrections in lime green.
mistakes in red.
Name: Avásh'ám'Térqu'ypheró ( Wind and Weather)

Gender: Male

Age: 25 (16 by appearance) Knowledge and training? 

Race: Elf

Tribe: Maeverhim

Occupation: Cultivator/ Wind Mage

Title: The Grey King's Mage

Overview: Avásh, at the age of 25 How did he grow up at the age of 25? , grew up with cultivators for parents, why although? although they often had tourists that he and his family had met in Seria hoping to spend a day and: " Experience the Maeverhim way." His parents, both pure in breed, knew their trade very well, and passed on the skills to him. He is quiet, and reserved, and likes  people, once he warms up to them Doesn't everyone like people they have warmed to? . He has a big heart and likes meeting new people, although he doesn't quite trust them at first. He's too many "He's", I think   young and has the whole world ahead of him.

Appearance:

Height:  1 Ped, 2 Fores, 3 Nailsbreadth, 2 Grains

Weight: 1 Pygge, 1 Heb, 3 Ods, 4 Mut

Hair Color: Dark brown Santharian colours (http://www.santharia.com/pictures/bard_judith/colour_palette_named.htm) please

Eye Color: Dark brown Santharian colours (http://www.santharia.com/pictures/bard_judith/colour_palette_named.htm) please

Physical Appearance

Body Structure and Physical Features: Avásh sports many of the traditional Maeverhim features including the naturally black fingernails and toenails, although the normally green or blue eyes that are commonly seen in the tribe have been substituted for his dark chocolate eyes. Santharian colours (http://www.santharia.com/pictures/bard_judith/colour_palette_named.htm) please  His face is thin, as well as the rest of his body structure. He is skinny, but no one really notices due to his clothing. His hair is medium length and always pulled back into a ponytail. This comes as somewhat of a shock to his family members. They do not quite understand why it is pulled back, but he reasons that it is due to his inability to work with it falling in his seeds, food, plants, and dirty underwear piles. Eventually however, he decided one day to take most of his hair off; on the day one year after his parents had died. He has been growing it back ever since. This also has him stand out somewhat in the crowd of long-haired Maeverhim. So many he's!

 His cheekbones are high, his lips, and brow stern, but when he smiles, one knows all is well. He has longer legs than normal, accounting for about 55 percent slightly more than the usual half height rather than the normal 50 percent. He has lean, long muscle, long  muscle? I think you probably mean ropey. making him resemble something akin to a not-quite-so-attractive woman, and is often mistaken for it, but he shrugs off comments like those, as the persons people commenting don't realize it at the time. He is also a very short Maeverhim, although he is still very young and hasn't had time to finish growing. His short height gives him a slight disadvantage when it comes to playing games with the others and climbing trees and the like. Again, too many he's

Clothing: Baggy blue and green garb that catches the wind in a majestic way. His attire is traditional like that of most of the other Maeverhim; baggy pants and shorts designed to ?break the stories he descends?. He also sports a necklace made from the nightshimmer vines, although no one knows how it stays alive... He also has one nice set of clothes, special for holidays, and one other that he wore on his parent's death day, or the day that was so told to him when he was found by Váras, as to remember them. His holiday garb includes a slightly less baggy white shirt, with oddly enough, a collar, (for it makes him feel dressy) gleaming with nightshimmer vine knitted into it. and Avash's remembrance clothes include one of a very dark green, with dark blue stitching, although he almost always wears his traditional set of clothes.

Personality: Being quiet and reserved for most of his life, Avásh has a hard time warming up to people, but once he does, he creates a friendship that lasts a lifetime, although his prejudice against fire often gets him in trouble with the tourists. Although he has trouble warming up to people, he does indeed like them I think virtually everyone likes people once they warm to them. He more so had doesn't make sense trust issues; for example, he does not like it when people ask personal information from him. The initial meeting is fine, but after, when it starts to get more personal, he tends to be very reclusive and draws himself into a "shell-like" state of mind.

He likes playing around with others, as well as trying new things. He is very adventurous and loves to do anything outdoorsy. He oft goes out to Seraia just to see what people do, how they react to what? , and what he can do to help. He also enjoys observing people and how they work. This makes him something of a observer.

In his freer time, between messing with magic, and negotiating with people, he enjoys gardening very much, and not just because it's his main source of income. One reason why he is so proficient at gardening and cultivation is because he cares for his plants very well. He enjoys watching his garden sprout to life with the greenery (and sometimes bluery) of his garden. At night, his garden can be seen and is oft opened to the public to pick berries and the fruits, and to see how the native plants of Seraia.

So many He's!

Strengths and Weaknesses:

Strengths:

 Cultivator:
Avásh is a very well practiced cultivator. He can sow almost any seed watch it bloom with radiance with the help of The Grey King. Also, due to his knowledge of cultivation, herbalists also find him helpful as he can grow things much quicker than one would have expected. He takes pride in this, and Váras helps him sell some of the herbs he has grown; as he is still very shy.

Wind Mage: Level 1
 Avásh hopes to become a great mage one day, as he has seen many other Wind Mages pass through and send a slight breeze his way as thanks for what?. He is skilled in Wind Magic, hoping one day to be a recognized as a someone to turn to for help. He has been taking courses from the which school? School for 4 years now and is quite skilled, although he still has a long way to go. He often has trouble getting near other mages due to his  past experience with Fire and Water Mages, although he enjoys watching tourists, that visit his town, jump in glee when he sends a little breeze their way as a goodbye.

Observer:
 He often examines people very closely, watching their actions and what they say so he can help them in the best way possible; this comes in handy when people don't exactly want to admit something.

Height:
 His short stature, is at times a disadvantage, but it can be advantageous. During training at the School, as well as during some hide-and-seek games he still often plays, he can fit into smaller spaces, as well as become more friendly with the non-natives as he can, for lack of a better phrase, "bring it down to their level."

Weaknesses:

Poor Salesperson:
 Although Avásh is an experienced cultivator, he often has trouble selling his goods to others; he does not know how to properly interact with people.

Overgenerous:
 Avásh is often overly generous and so ready to please that he hurts his loved ones as well as himself in the process.

Clumsy:
 He is clumsy and ?oft? not to handle fragile objects.

Memory Loss:
 Due to his memory lost, he often avoids questions about his past and substitutes them with questions about the his necklace how does he do that?. It also causes him some confusion from time to time, as he cannot remember the "cherished childhood memories" that everyone else talks about, only the ones of a few recent years. Please explain how this happened.

Rebellious Nature:
 He also doesn't enjoy complying with people or authoritative figures. He has a hard time swallowing his pride and doing as others say, unless of course, it is elder or the Rónn or Ránn. This often got him  in trouble as a child, because he had a hard time enjoying guests who did not enjoy kids. How does one enjoy guests or kids?

Height:
 His short height also makes him very tired very quickly, as the others can take nice long strides, while he must take at least four times as manymore, just to keep up.

Brief History:
Not much is known about Avásh or what his past was like. He can only remember a few happy moments in his life before he turned 25. During his childhood, he grew up learning to swing from tree to tree, training on the platforms which held the lounging, what the humans would call, " Big Beanbag-chairs." If he fell, he would scold himself, always saying that if he ever became Earthburned, he would move on to greater adventures, outside of Maeverhim country. As far back as he could remember, his parents held parties inviting humans and those of other races to come and "Experience the Maeverhim way." They oft were astonished at the lack of fire in the town, and were quickly silenced and told to wait. He did enjoy jumping around, performing acrobatic stunts to please and entertain the groups. Into his teens, the groups of travelers became less interested in him, so he took to learning the cultivating skill that his mother and father were so well known for. He worked hard Working hard is a strength, building his knowledge of how to grow, and the influence Grothar had on their people.

One day however, on his 25th birthday, his mother, Eliás, and his father, Fiér, were riding from branch to branch, taking any method possible to get to the town of Seraia, placed high on stilts by walkways and bridge-ways. His parents then lead him through the small town toward the market place, selling their wares and trying to teach Avásh how to do the same. When they had walked into a produce market, Avásh noticed that they were being followed by a few others Other whats?, seeming to keep their distance, but hide when he looked their way. They were dark in skin tone, and had bright fiery red hair.

 Both of them had yellow eyes... nothing like he had ever seen. They were Human-like in nature, standing out amongst the fair skinned Maeverhim. Their intentions looked menacing, although no one seemed to notice. They walked slowly and even though they received questioning looks, they walked with confidence and self-importance. When they had reached the appropriate bridge-way before the stall, the followers followed them in and knocked out Avásh. They then sent forth a ring of burning ice, surround his parents. As his parents were not skilled in anything but cultivation, experienced in simple trade and how to grow and breed plants; hence they couldn't resist the attack.

Why didn't people step in to help? And why didn't Avash mention the followers to his parents?

The mages closed the ring around Eliás and Fiér eventually causing suffocation, as the fire burned all oxygen in the immediate area. They took the nightshimmer vine necklaces from their necks, planning to use it to for the entrancement and manipulation of people whom they would most likely torture for information about how to win a war with a warring tribe or some ridiculous reason like that. With a final kick to Avásh's stomach, they ran off leaving him and his dead parents in the bridge-way before the stall. When Avásh awoke, he saw his parents lying there, and their nighshimmer vine necklaces removed from their neck and a slight burn mark where they were cut. Although it wasn't intended, the knock that rendered him unconscious caused acute amnesia and Avásh lost most memories of his childhood, but not of his recent memories of the which school? School or his training. He hopes one day that someone can help him remember what happened... if that's at all possible. A few hours after the attack, the shop-keep had left the cloth-covered stall for a moment for a breath of fresh air. As she pulled back the cloth, she found Avásh and his parents lying on the floor. The shopkeeper quickly gathered the other elves from the Sharadon Forest and sent Avásh away to her house to recover; as for the parents, when Avásh was healed enough to walk again, they gave them a proper funeral; the Maeverhim way.

From that day on, Avásh has lived for the most part by himself, with the shop-keep and school taking care of him. The shop-keep, Váras, has now become something of a mother figure to Avásh.

Within a few years after, as he was just getting used to being on his own, well with the help of Váras of course, he had met a young man, with unusually dark skin, and very vibrant red hair. The man wanted to see what Avásh did, as he claimed himself a scholar and asked to be shown about the Maeverhim, although when Avásh presented the man to Váras, she seemed a bit concerned. As they both entered Avásh's treetop domicile, the fiery-haired man grabbed Avásh and threw him out of his house with fire coming forth from his fingertips, down further and further, people watching him float down, unable to reach or help him, as Avásh had made a point not to live near any platforms that could become crowded an noisey. As Avásh fell further and further he realized that there wasn't going to be a happy ending to his ordeal. With landing made softer only by his clothes, Avásh was gently settled onto the ground, and when he last looked up, he saw the fire-headed mage gliding silently between people. As soon as he walk a few peds without falling, he quickly made his way toward the edge of the forest, out toward Seria, although he moved beneith the 15 ped-high stilts, and tried to spare himself some of the shame that would find him if he ever went back. Not enough he's this time.

Although Maeverhim aren't usually exiled for being pushed onto the ground, Avásh had set up a plan, many years prior, saying that he will try to seek out whomever killed his parents. Although it seems rather impossible, Avásh finds that it may not be so bad, and that one day, in his old age, he may move back to the Maeverhim village, to teach Wind Magic at the local school, or perhaps to teach his techniques of cultivation to the younger generation so they may become masters at cultivation too. Same result, say and instead of or perhaps.

What is this plan? Why did the man do that to him? How did he move him with a fire spell? Surely the man would figure in his plan?

Magical Experiences:
   At the age of 19, Avásh was accepted into the local Maeverhim School where he would learn to become a Wind Mage. His schooling, although not terribly difficult, he would describe as tedious, but well worth the effort. There wasn't much that he didn't want to know, although his lack of experience hindered him in learning it. His clumsiness often created more havoc then intended. His lack of knowledge leads him into a world of continued learning as he tries to experience the world;

Breezes: Although he usually summons a slight breeze, he can also create a strong breeze to help sway the clouds toward or away from him, in order to get the best amount of sunlight necessary for his plants.

The Grey King: Avásh believes, as many Maeverhim do, in The Grey King. Avásh hopes that with a prayer to the Grey King, however successful or unsuccessful it may be, that he can get the correct weather patterns needed to help his plants grow.

Vanish: Avásh can also make things Vanish, which also entertained the guests at his house. In cultivation, if a plant is getting to much sunlight, but he can't move it to a shadier spot, he might simply make the plant Vanish, to keep most of the suns rays away from the plant. This procedure, however, is very delicate and often ends up ruining the plants as they do not quite function properly; as they might grow extra stalks, or grow too large, or even not grow ever again, and so Avásh has trouble finding a truly significant use for this in cultivation.

Reflect: Avásh can project images of a target unto others. This does not really come in handy, only when a costumer would like a closer look at a certain item. Avásh can reflect the image of the item onto himself, allowing the costumer a closer look, without the removal of said item.

 Although he has great knowledge of these skills, he has no real reason to use them, mostly fun and games, but the protection of his people is the real goal in his mind.

Avásh Carries With Him: Belongings:

- A bag full of seeds of random sorts, although he can tell what they are
- A small bag full of reagents to help him focus, given to him by Cerás. Who is Cerás?
- His traditional set of Maeverhim clothes
- A rucksack full of a few small gardening tools as he does volunteer work to spruce up some of the dying plants. which dying plants?
- His Nightshimmer Necklace placed around his neck
- A few pieces of food such as an apple and some bread and cheese in case he doesn't have time to go back home for a complete meal


Title: Re: Avásh'ám'Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim/Cultivator-Mage
Post by: Avásh ám Térqu'ypheró on May 09, 2010, 01:52:17 AM
Comments are welcome! Please critique... I hope i've covered everything. Correct me if I'm wrong though!


Title: Re: Avásh'ám'Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim/Cultivator-Mage
Post by: Alexandre Scriabin on May 09, 2010, 03:08:03 AM
From your strengths-

Quote
Observer:
 He often examines people very closely, watching their actions and what they say so he can help them in the best way possible; this comes in handy when people don't exactly want to admit something. He is so adept at this, that he can force a confession to stealing an item, even before someone does it. He has ways of soothing people and extracting the information, through general words that the suspect in question puts meaning to.

How does this process work, how would hinting at the subject get a person to confess? If you can explain that well enough, it will make it more plausible, although I doubt anyone could force a confession before someone does something, unless he/she was incredibly lucky that day. In retrospect, you may as well throw magic out the window if your character can mind rape people like you describe.


Title: Re: Avásh'ám'Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim/Cultivator-Mage
Post by: Alexandre Scriabin on May 14, 2010, 09:13:17 AM
A member of the developers forum decided to drop in and scold me for the comments I had just made. It was puzzling to hear, but it still raises the need to say that if I have discouraged or offended you, please let me know.


Title: Re: Avásh'ám'Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim/Cultivator-Mage
Post by: Avásh ám Térqu'ypheró on May 15, 2010, 04:48:18 AM
No not at all... I took no offense! But i believe i changed it? But anything else you would like to comment on please let me know!


Title: Re: Avásh'ám'Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim/Cultivator-Mage
Post by: Avásh ám Térqu'ypheró on May 20, 2010, 07:05:19 AM
Comments Requested Please! :D


Title: Re: Avásh'ám'Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim/Cultivator-Mage
Post by: Shatí Úp on May 20, 2010, 10:50:31 AM
Avásh, it looks like your CD has come along realy well.  However, you have still not awnsered the reason behind the death of your characters parents.  (You might not have to explain it but I myself am realy beggining to wonder.


Title: Re: Avásh'ám'Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim/Cultivator-Mage
Post by: Alexandre Scriabin on May 20, 2010, 11:52:52 AM
Yes, that really seems to be the only area where you have any splainin' to do now. If you were to work on that some, I'd certainly be willing to end this prolonged suffering of yours, and poke around the CD discussion forum to vouch for you. You look ready enough for an approval to me  :thumbup:


Title: Re: Avásh'ám'Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim/Cultivator-Mage
Post by: Avásh ám Térqu'ypheró on May 21, 2010, 06:46:26 AM
A stunning conclusion to the Avásh chronicles, no? Well if I left anything out, please do tell me! COMMENTS ARE ALWAYS WELCOME! UNLESS THEY'RE UNHELPFUL!


Title: Re: Avásh'ám'Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim/Cultivator-Mage
Post by: Malexia Vendu on May 21, 2010, 11:37:11 AM
I don't quite understand why you bother to learn magic if you really have no use for the skill? Other than conjure a breeze, what does wind magic offer your job as a cultivator?


Title: Re: Avásh'ám'Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim/Cultivator-Mage
Post by: Avásh ám Térqu'ypheró on May 23, 2010, 03:00:32 AM
I guess it would be so that way he could learn more about how the mages were able to kill his parents and to get close to others. Also, because he can feel closer to The Grey King. I mean, there's no real reason.. perhaps for defense?


Title: Re: Avásh'ám'Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim/Cultivator-Mage
Post by: Alexandre Scriabin on May 24, 2010, 05:51:27 AM
If I may: in my opinion, a little knowledge and passion for magic doesn't have to met with necessity. It can just be another trait, small strength, or social icebreaker.


Title: Re: Avásh'ám'Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim/Cultivator-Mage
Post by: Avásh ám Térqu'ypheró on May 24, 2010, 08:23:07 AM
I wholeheartedly agree!


Title: Re: Avásh'ám'Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim/Cultivator-Mage
Post by: Avásh ám Térqu'ypheró on May 26, 2010, 10:34:34 AM
COMMENTS! Please! I'm ready to get rockin' and rollin'!


Title: Re: Avásh'ám'Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim/Cultivator-Mage
Post by: Alexandre Scriabin on May 26, 2010, 11:08:53 AM
COMMENTS! Please! I'm ready to get rockin' and rollin'!

Please realize that you need to wait at least three days to request more comments.


Title: Re: Avásh'ám'Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim/Cultivator-Mage
Post by: Malexia Vendu on June 01, 2010, 09:19:03 PM
First Approval!  :pet:


Title: Re: Avásh'ám'Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim/Cultivator-Mage
Post by: Deklitch Hardin on June 02, 2010, 02:32:22 AM
Second Approval :D  :pet:

Congratulations! Its been a long road for you, great work in sticking it out!

Now, just remove your editing colours, and I'm sure that Kalina/Altario will be by to archive for you!

Dek


Title: Re: Avásh'ám'Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim/Cultivator-Mage
Post by: Shatí Úp on June 02, 2010, 09:53:29 AM
Congrats! You're finaly finished! (Yes I know I'm back and I've actualy been so for a while now but right now I'm to busy messing with another RP forum to post something saying as much so we'll just keep this to ourselves for tonight)


Title: Re: Avásh'ám'Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim/Cultivator-Mage
Post by: Avásh ám Térqu'ypheró on June 03, 2010, 01:09:28 PM
WOWIE ZOWIE! I can't believe it! Yay! I never thought this day would come! Yay! I'm so proud of myself and all of you! Thank you for helping me! I feel like I'm at graduation or something! Thank you all so much!  :heart:


Title: Re: Avásh'ám'Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim/Cultivator-Mage
Post by: Alexandre Scriabin on June 04, 2010, 03:08:21 AM
Hmm... I promised to poke around and get someone to take a look at it, but I guess it's already been approved. Have fun!


Title: Re: Avásh'ám'Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim/Cultivator-Mage
Post by: Altario Shialt-eck-Gorrin on June 04, 2010, 03:10:13 AM
And Archived