Adventures of Caelereth

Archives => Approved Characters 2011 => Topic started by: Calron Moonsilver on July 13, 2010, 09:08:27 PM



Title: Calron Moonsilver / Erpheronian / Noble
Post by: Calron Moonsilver on July 13, 2010, 09:08:27 PM
Preface


Name: Calron Moonsilver
Gender: Male
Age: 23
Race: Feyfolk
Tribes: Centoraurian ˝ / Erpheronian Ľ / Aellenrhim Ľ
Occupation: Noble / Knight
Title: Black Knight


Appearance


Height: Ped, Two Fores, Palmspan, Six Nailsbreadths
Weight: Pygge, Six Hebs, Three Ods, Three Mut
Hair Color: Nor'sidian
Eye Color: Nor'sidian


Physical


Twenty three and darkly handsome, few can resist the powerful young noble's winning smile, and night-filled eyes. Possessed of a tall, lean figure, the hard muscles and soft skin of his body give the impression of both strength and elegance. Dark eyes filled with good humor look out of a face that could easily belong to a true elf. Short, and yet taste fully styled hair accentuate both his perfect skin, and black eyes.

Neither abnormality, nor blemish mark the skin of this pristine gentlemen. His smile, and kind eyes entice the hearts of even the most shrewish women. Soft lips, and a button nose help to soften the high cheek bones and strong jawline of his face. The striking black of his eyes seems to absorb light and the confidence of any who match his powerful gaze. The liquid like movement of his limbs further enhances the regality he seems to exude.

The light callouses of his palms possess a rough velvety quality, both harsh and soft simultaneously. His long fingers boast a natural curvature, and an elegance all their own. The glossy black of his hair is surprisingly soft to the touch, and grows slightly longer at the back than it does the front. A natural muscle tone, coupled with years of hard work have lead to muscles that are surprisingly strong yet compact making him appear still thinner than he really is. Through his natural beauty, and strength many call him "Flower Knight" as a form of respect.


Clothing


As current head to a family of lords, this courtly gentleman's wardrobe is always changing. Despite changes in style, the coloration of his clothing rarely changes. Blacks, grays, silvers, and whites play an important role in off setting the tone of his skin and the color of his hair. While the overall appearance of his clothing changes, suits and vests are very prominent in his ensemble. Due to the muscular tone of his torso, and legs both pants and suits tend to be very form fitting. The pants are often made durable as he often goes horse riding, and boots are also a familiar sight on the young noble.

Styles tend to come and go, however certain aspects of the clothing rarely change. When wearing black clothing, the buttons and patterns that may accompany the clothing are colored a vivid silver or gray. White clothing is used for more informal occasions, though at formal occasions a cravat usually accompanies his array. Grays and silvers are usually brought into the ensemble in the form of metal pieces such as armours and special additions to the cloth that help to make it more ridged. A belt is always specially made to fit with the clothing, and a scabbard is also made to avoid clashing with the colors. This allows him to carry around his weapons without ruining his fashion statement.

Though the style of his clothing always changes, certain accessories remain consistent throughout these alterations. Upon the middle finger of his right hand he wears a ring of silver with a beautifully cut sapphire. Engraved into the surface of the sapphire is the image of a crescent moon amongst cloud cover. On his left year is a specially grafted earring made of black iron. The shape is similar to a lengthened crescent that follows the curve of his ear. Three spiked ridges give the earring the appearance of a wing. Fastening the earring to his ear is a pea sized gem of obsidian attached to a silver pin.


Personality


Possessed of a kind and gentle nature, few can resist the charm that Calron displays. Despite the prejudice, and animosity that he often deals with, rarely does he ever feel discouraged. Due to his mixed heritage he is often alienated in society, but refuses to leave Voldar. Valuing family, he believes this place to be the birthplace of the family where wealth can both be lost and gained. A desire to prove himself to his kin is for most in his mind when he interacts with other Erpheronians.

A strong respect for family and friends is yet another facet of Calron's personality. In the presence of his brother and sister he is able to unwind, and speak more freely. Due to the age difference between him, his parents, and his grandmother, a powerful respect compels him to heed whatever they might tell him. Calron has few friends, the greatest of whom is his horse, Cloud. Possessed of an incredible confidence, befriending strangers is a small matter for this young man. As such he holds no reservations towards any other races, or peoples that live throughout the land.

Combat runs in the blood of this young lord, and fighting is as natural for him as breathing. Though never actively looking for a fight, Calron never turns down a chance to test his skills either. When angered, a sword is usually involved and a formal duel requested. Fist fighting, swordsmanship, and a love for horseback riding are common topics in which he holds a firm knowledge. Though not as studious as he brother, and sister, intellectual conversation is more than enough to capture his intrest. Having been called a prodigy by those who have seen his technique, many are stunned at the humbleness with which he treats his overwelling skills.

Calron possess a strong love for all kinds of arts. Plays, works of art, and musical pieces tend to attract his attention with incredible regularity. Though unable to actually act, paint, draw, or make music he is still able to fully appreciate those who follow the artistic path. As an aristocrat, he is very familiar with many of the more well known artists, actors and musicians. Due to a strong understanding of various art forms, he is very personable around artists.


Strengths


Swordsmanship & Knights Training
Knighted at the age of fourteen, Calron is considered a prodigy in swordsmanship. From a young age, he became extremely well versed in his use of the sword. Both on foot, and mounted he became well known for his incredible technique, improvisational skills, and use of his body. Capable of full control of every muscle in his body, Calron is able to manipulate his muscles and joints to increase his speed and strength. His prized Moonsilver technique has been handed down through the ages, and passed from father to son. In this way the style has gotten progressively more stronger.

Horseback Riding
With a Centoraurian mother, and a knight for a father, horseback riding became a mandatory exercise for Calron. With a strong love for horses, and incredible skill in riding, few are able to surpass his ability with a horse. His current mount, Cloud, holds a strong trust in him, and together they have trained in the martial arts of mounted combat. Kicking, biting, bucking, and prancing are all essential skills taught to the horse and rider to ensure that the two are able to easily out maneuver even the more skilled soldiers.

Studies & Knowledge
From the moment he could understand what was going on around him, Calron has been studying nearly nonstop. Due to his lessons, a wide knowledge of music, art, mathematics, literature, nobility, horsemanship, and swordsmanship have been a near constant presence in his life. After becoming head of the family in name, many of the lessons have stopped however his love of music, art, and literature has left him with a strong understanding of the subjects.

Charming
Calron's gentle personality, and striking looks are charming in the eyes of women more so then men. While several women have taken a fancy to his company, many men feel threatened by the elven beauty of his appearance and shun his company. Despite this, many people still find him to be very welcoming, and companionable.


Weaknesses


Family Bonds
The respect and love that Calron holds for his family borders on worship. From these family ties he can never refuse a request however crazy it may seem. Even before protecting the family's intrests, protecting the family itself takes priority in Calron's mind. This in turn leaves him extremely vulnerable to those who use is family against him. In these matters, he becomes increasingly unstable and panicked.

Overconfident
Stunning good looks, and noble blood have lead to a slight pig headedness that Calron himself doesn't acknowledge. With his supreme confidence, he is often unable to see things that would be more obvious to someone paying closer attention. As such small details are often missed, and in combat this can prove to be deadly. Though he has been warned countless times to take everything seriously, he refuses to change his ways due simply to a confident personality.

Noble Influence
The Moonsilvers have fallen into decline over the last three generations, due to the mixing of blood. Pureblooded families show a sharp disdain for Calron and his parents, as their pride refuses to accept half bloods. Without a great deal of influence, the family has lost a great deal of its prestige and influence over the last couple of centuries. Though Calron is personable, prejudice runs abundant and many whisper insults behind the dark haired Erpheronian's back.

Strangling Disease
Over the more recent months of his life, Calron acquired the sickness known as Strangling Disease. Though he possess incredible physical strength, the disease leaves him often tired or short of breath when overworked. Dust particles, and overexertion trigger the Disease and often force him to rest, or drink liquids.


History


Prologue

The line of Moonsilver possesses a long and cultured history dating back several centuries. However the last three generations have seen an interesting change in the bloodline, wealth, and influence of the family. Moonsilver itself became the name of the family due to the liquid silver coloration of the members hair. The pure bloodline of Erpheronians ended with the union of Kale Moonsilver and the Aellenrhim maiden Aváth. As many elves often do, she was training to become a wind magi before she meet Kale whom she would later marry. At the time he had only just become the head of the Moonsilver family after the death of both his father and mother in a riding accident.

During his time as head of Moonsilver, many duties were given to him in strengthening family ties. As the only child of the family, all hopes of the family's success and expansion relied on him. At the age of thirty, he worked in conjunction with a merchant caravan that was delivering trade goods between Voldar and the Thaelon. It was during one of these trips that Kale meet Aváth who was a young hundred and ninety years old.

The two fell in love at first sight, and against the wishes of her elven parents, Aváth returned to Voldar with Kale. Aváth was herself exceptionally free spirited, and for the most part did as she pleased. Unlike Kale, her hair and eyes were of the darkest black making her seem all the more exotic in his eyes. Despite much proding from her parents to forget the silver haired human, they eventually gave in some two years after their initial meeting. Upon their return to Voldar, they were married before the rest of the family.

The Next Generation

This unexpected union of elf and human became a scandalous topic in Voldar. With this knowledge, Kale and his bride were constantly hounded by other nobles. A sharp decline began as many took a dislike to the strong willed bride of the Moonsilvers. Many families refused to associate with the Moonsilvers, and years of accumulated wealth were being lost as the Moonsilvers found themselves nearly friendless. Few would do business with them as word spread among the higher ups, and their wealth gradually decreased.

Nearly ten years after their marriage, Aváth became pregnant with his child. In due course, she game birth to a bouncing baby boy. They came to name the boy Kel, and he gradually grew into a powerful knight. Like his mother Kel was possessed of dark hair and eyes outcasting him in society as other Erpheronians claimed fair complexions. Despite this he continued to work hard in order to gain strength, and support the family. Kel eventually decided to travel as a way of accumulating wealth by associating with various merchants and nobles, though there were few candidates. Simultaneously he also intended to learn about different swords techniques taught in other parts of the world.

On these ventures he would often meet a large variety of people. Different races, and places managed to eventually draw his attention to Shiana, a Centoraurian knight. The two bonded as knights, and would often compete with one another. Eventually their friendship grew into a strong affection for one another. To his pleasure, she cared not for his mixed heritage, and eventually he returned to Voldar with her. Though the family had reservations about the marriage, the two eventually married with much fanfair and joy.

Shiana was born of a noble Centoraurian background, and her family was well known for breeding war horses. From a young age she was constantly traveling with her father to new parts of the world, and so held little reservation towards those of other races. Though she had everything, a constant sense of missing something hounded her. This eventually became more clear when she was older and had befriended Kel. The two grew to love each other, and after much discussion with her own father the two returned to Voldar for their wedding. As a wedding gift her father lefts several stallions and mares in the care of the Moonsilvers to do with as they pleased.

Five years after the marriage, Kale Moonsilver died of a heart attack leaving his perpetually young wife a widow. Despite this Aváth never disparred, and adopting the name Moonsilver became matriarch of the family at her son's recommendation, the first in the history of the family. Once more scandals broke loss, and the family was brought nearly to the brink of destruction. With Kale gone, matters of state fell to his wife and son both of whom managed to eventually amass a small fortune through the buying and selling of various metals, and horse. Though they managed to accumulate a small amount of wealth, and were no longer getting by, other families still refused contact with the Moonsilvers.

The Beginning

Still another five years after Kale's death, Shiana gave birth to a little girl. The child was as beautiful as any true born elf, and many began to compare her to her grandmother. Named after Katya the Just, the family had hopes that she would eventually grow to become a strong and independent individual. Two years after the birth of their daughter, they were blessed with yet another child. The boy possessed all the looks of both his father and grandmother in a way that was simultaneously handsome and beautiful. Called Calron, the son was made heir to the family after much deliberation, and consultation with their elders.

Childhood

Calron grew up living a pampered life style, with everything within reach. Though money was a little short, the family did all they could to make sure that he and his siblings were living in luxury. A great deal of his early childhood was spent playing and spending time with the rest of his family. Five years after his birth, a baby brother soon followed crawled around after him. The elder sister, being of a kind and compassionate nature often took care of the two. Among loving family he continued to grow into the heir that the family was looking for. Moral values, and rules were expressly taught to him wherever he roamed and he could easily befriend everyone.

At the age of five, Calron began studying a variety of subjects in an attempt to keep up with society and his peers. In the hopes that he would be able to reintroduce the Moonsilvers to society, studies became a regular thing at the manor. Private tutors came and went on a daily basis, leaving Calron with little time to rest and relax. Though the days were busy, he enjoyed learning and trying new things. Mathematics, music, art, and literature were discussed and looked at daily, instilling a strong love for the more "fun" subjects. At the age of eight, his mother began to teach him the basics of horseback riding while his father began tutoring him in the ways of the sword. It was four years after this time that he, like his sister received his own horse, a black stallion whom he named Cloud.

Becoming Heir

Horseback riding, and swordsmanship gradually grew to become Calron's focus. Years and years were spent in perfecting technique and acquiring new skills. Having turned twelve he continued to learn more about the aristocratic way of life. How to walk, talk, and act around others became lessons in grooming him for his eventual inheritance. Under the hard tutelage of both his parents and grandmother he continued to acquire the necessary fighting and social skills important in everyday life.

At the age of fourteen he had already acquired the title of knight, and had become well known among the peasants and soldiers. With an unmatched skill in horseback riding, coupled with his talents with a sword, few could stand against him. Sparring, and training were often his way of pass the time. Long hours would be spent during the day honing his skills, and body allowing him to bring out his full potential.

At the age of twenty he inherited the legacy of the family, and became official head of the Moonsilvers. While his sister continued to learn wind magic, and his younger brother operated as the family's jack of all trades, Calron became a prodigy swordsman. With his skills he soon became well known throughout Voldar for both his endearing personality, and level headedness, though the shadow of his heritage never left him. Despite being possessed of incredible skill, and charm Erpheronians still refused to accept him as one of their own. It was at the time of his inheritance ceremony that he received his ring, and a longsword from his parents.

Twenty three and still young, Calron has all the possibilities of life ahead of him. With his sister and brother to support him, he spends a great deal of his time socializing and trying to run the daily affairs of the family. Though he has recently acquired the abnormal sickness known as Strangling Disease, he continues to do everything in his power to increase his family influence. When traveling, matters of state are handled by either the former matriarch, or Calron's younger brother. Having recently lost a great deal of their accumulated wealth, Calron is adamant about make sure that he and the rest of the family will be able to live the remainder of their lives in luxury. It is his hope that he will eventually raise the Moonsilvers back to their former state of high regard and wealth.


Fighting Style


The Moonsilver fighting style was heavily developed many centuries ago. When the style was first created, ten "forms" were used that required a manipulation of both the sword and body. Having been passed down from father to son over the years, the technique has gone through rigorous change with each generation improving the form. The Armerenda tournament held in Voldar has provided the family a chance to test their abilities. Every generation inherits five of the best forms of the previous generation to which they add five of their own forms.

As current head of the family, Calron inherited five techniques from his father. Each of the five forms was named after a different aspect of nature. The forms themselves can be put together, or used individually. In order to use the forms, a well toned body and an understanding of how the body works is necessary to use the style to its fullest potential. Calron has also spent many long years trying to develop his own five forms.

The first form is referred to as Heaven, and uses the bodies natural posture to easily dodge attacks. In conjunction withe dodging, this form also allows the user to move into a closer range. This uses all the unused muscles that are achieved by relaxing the body completely. The rotation of the body created by the use of all the muscles in the body creates a high momentum. To those who are used to close range combat, this technique creates openings rather than closing them up for the user. The rotations themselves do not employ swinging the sword, leaving the user open to attacks if the opponent is able to keep up with this technique.

The second form is known as Thunder, and relies heavily on speed and the use of every joint to help increase speed. Both momentum, and gravity are used in this style to allow for quick movements, and high speed acceleration. By combining momentum, gravity and an unstable form, Thunder allows the user to increase their speed exponentially hence the naming of the technique. Despite the high speed of the technique, a single attack made using this form usually leaves the user wide open to attacks to the legs, side, or back. Fighting multiple opponents with this technique is also neigh on impossible, as the openings could prove fatal to the user.

The third form employs explosive strength, and instincts to inflict the maximum amount of harm possible. As such the name of the form is Sun, capable of destroying through strength. The technique uses controlled whip liked movements of the arm to slash with full strength both down and sideways. The blade is difficult to control, and can be ruined if this technique is not handled with care. User of this form also run the risk of dislocating their arm using this technique and leaving their upper body open to attacks.

The fourth form is known as Rain, and relies on quick movements, reaction time, and fluidity in the motions of the muscles. Of all the forms, this is the most relaxed and takes the most time to perfect. By employing a strong under standing of how the muscles work, coupled with the natural speed of the individual gives extra reach to the body. The hands are required to move at a quick speed, often altering the position of the hands in mid swing. Though fast, this form creates openings on the user if not used at a high enough speed. The user also runs the risk of dropping their weapon if they are not fast enough.

The final form relies on force, weight, and balance to achieve a destructive power. The Earth form is meant for the destruction of weaponry, and armour. This technique is the only one which requires a two handed grip on the weapon, least the weapon break from the force of using this form. The form strikes using the weight of the user, coupled with a quick rotation of the wrist to break the opponents weapon. All the swords strokes of this form are thrusts leaving the user open towards attacks on the lower body, while blocking slashes to the sides also proves to be slightly more challenging than when using the other forms.

Though a prodigy, Calron only has control over the forms of Heaven, Thunder, and Rain. Having been trained by his father, these five forms are his favorite inheritance. Many long years have been spent in mastering the three forms, and still more will be required before he has complete master of the original five forms. In conjunction with this, Calron never wears plate armour leaving him vulnerable when fighting more than one person.


Weapons


At all times, Calron carries the family heir loom on his person at all times. The family longsword, given to him shortly after becoming head of the family, serving as an extension of his arm. Grafted from a mix of silver and steel, the blade is exceptionally strong and beautiful. The hilt is bound in black leather and set with a cross guard similar in design to that of his earring.


Belongings


Two Bags
Five Pairs of Assorted Clothings
Pouch/Wallet with Money
Longsword, Scabbard & Belt
Riding Boots
Silver Ring
Black Iron Earring


Familiar


Name: Cloud
Gender: Male
Age: 15
Race: Horse
Breed: Centoraurian
Height: Ped, Fore, Two Palmspans,  Nailsbreadth
Weight: Nine Pygges, Hafeb, Two Ods, Two Muts


Physical


Cloud is a powerful animal in the prime of his life. Having been breed for combat, this stallion is capable of an easy maneuverability despite his heavy weight and large size. The obvious weight belongs to the massive muscles that pull the skin of the animal tight. Equine, and graceful, distinct quality in breeding this stallion are self-evident. The liquid black of his eyes are filled with tender kindness only an animal can show. A neatly trimmed mane further enhances the charm and beauty of this stallion.

Having been born of Centoraurian stock, Cloud possess all the qualities that make the Centoraurians popular for their animals. Along with a sharp intellect, the powerful body makes him a formidable foe on the battlefield. With neatly cloven hooves, and long equestrian legs, Cloud is born for battle. The slender neck, and powerful jaws are lined with bulging veins. The black coat is constantly kept polished, and cleaned while on special occasion the mane is braided.


Personality


As a Centoraurian stallion, Cloud is an exceptionally intelligent animal. Along with being able to react to verbal, and physical commands, he also relies a great deal on instincts as well. Simple commands are usually spoken, while commands that require more complexity can be achieved through body language, and verbal communication. Being a war horse, Cloud is familiar with all the necessary tactics to attack, and protect himself from enemies. Kicking, biting, and bucking are all familiar tricks that are often employed when in a tight situation.

When not fighting, or being asked around, Cloud is extremely docile. Similar to his master, he is possessed of a gentle and tempered nature that many find to be both sweet and endearing. He is also extremely easy to befriend, as eating and grooming are his two favorite pastimes. As Calron's companion, the two have been together since Cloud was but a babe, and they share a strong love for each other. Aside from being a powerful weapon, Cloud is also one of Calron's best friends.


Title: Re: Calron Moonsilver / Erpheronian / Noble
Post by: Thaelel Swordmar on July 16, 2010, 07:38:20 PM
This looks like an excellent CD so far, Calron. I look forward to commenting on it and seeing it approved.


Title: Re: Calron Moonsilver / Erpheronian / Noble
Post by: Calron Moonsilver on July 18, 2010, 04:59:13 AM
Finally finished! I apoligize if this is an extremely long and arduous read, but I've attempted to make this CD as interesting as possible. I hope anyone reading and critiquing this CD can enjoy talking about him as much as I did writing him up. Now to state it officially:

Comments and suggestions are welcome!


Title: Re: Calron Moonsilver / Erpheronian / Noble
Post by: Shatí Úp on July 18, 2010, 08:47:02 AM
Before I begin reading your CD I must state that nobles are banned from play in Santharia's RP board.  They are deemed to powerful and are listed under the restrictions.  If you have any questions please contact me.


Title: Re: Calron Moonsilver / Erpheronian / Noble
Post by: Drasil Razorfang on July 18, 2010, 09:12:37 AM
What Shati is saying is only partially true.  Only high ranking nobles are banned from play since they have so much historical infulence.  As long as your character is not one of these people (and therefore is a low ranking member of nobility) I don't think you'll have an issue.  I've copied the list of banned noble titles from the restrictions thread for your convenience.

Quote
Santhran/Santhranna: The Santharian monarch.

Avá'ránn: The leader of the High Elven Circle.

King/Queen: Also an obsolete title in the Santharian Kingdom.

Ránn/Rónn: The leader of an elven tribe.

Prince/Princess

Thane: The ruler of a Santharian province.

Duke/Duchess

Graven

Privileged Noble: A Baron, Viscount, or other minor noble with special rights and/or duties; ranked above Lords and Ladies.

Lord/Lady: May be allowed if there are no abnormalities in the family (eg. the entire family dying, a rebellion occurring, etc.).

Gornegron: The chieftain of a dwarven clan.

Gorkavon: The sub-chief of a dwarven clan.

Archmage: The head of one of the Ximaxian Academy's schools of magic. Also potentially too powerful.

Tchovka: The leader of the True Vision Cult.


Title: Re: Calron Moonsilver / Erpheronian / Noble
Post by: Calron Moonsilver on July 18, 2010, 09:59:55 AM
Alright gentleman, I'm and was well aware of the restrictions before I started writing this CD. As far as I'm concerned, there are no "abnormalities" in the family. Unless mods or admins have a problem with it I don't think I'll be changing the occupation. Thank you very much for your output though gentleman, your comments are dually noted.


Title: Re: Calron Moonsilver / Erpheronian / Noble
Post by: Malexia Vendu on July 19, 2010, 07:52:42 AM
Hi Calron! :wave: Welcome to Santharia.

I feel that the noble heritage is far too influential and I must insist that it be changed or greatly reduced in power and/or wealth. You come from a very large and privileged family and therefor fall into the restricted/banned category.

Additionally, your strengths and weaknesses are unbalanced. You are pretty much an expert knight with very few weaknesses to balance that out.


Title: Re: Calron Moonsilver / Erpheronian / Noble
Post by: Calron Moonsilver on July 19, 2010, 10:17:40 PM
Before you made your comment Malexia I had already switched this over to a pencil icon. As such I will not be coloring the changes, however I have made adjustments to the CD. If you would still like the changes colored that can be arranged, I'm also not to sure about the balance, but I hope it is now better. I've also tried to tone down the influence and wealth a little bit. Once more:

Ready for comments!


Title: Re: Calron Moonsilver / Erpheronian / Noble
Post by: Deklitch Hardin on July 20, 2010, 04:57:22 AM
We would actually appreciate you colouring the changes. It really does make it easier for us and it makes mods, mini mods and commenters happy. And happy mods makes for relatively speedy approvals :)

In other words ... colour your changes.


Title: Re: Calron Moonsilver / Erpheronian / Noble
Post by: Calron Moonsilver on July 20, 2010, 05:25:05 AM
I've coloured all of my changes and additions as you have asked Deklitch. I hope that you find everything to be in order and I thank both you and Malexia for your comments. :thumbup:


Title: Re: Calron Moonsilver / Erpheronian / Noble
Post by: Alexandre Scriabin on July 23, 2010, 03:35:54 AM
Seeing as he is the heir apparent, and head of the family, how is it that he is able to travel about in Santharia? He must have quite a bit of responsibility at home. It is plausible that he would be able to adventure and what-not, however an explanation is due.

By the way, I enjoyed your CD quite a bit. A fresh new way to organize it, with a simple writing style with which you meticulously arranged and filled it out. I'm really beginning to prefer your type of language over other types for the sake of effectiveness.


Title: Re: Calron Moonsilver / Erpheronian / Noble
Post by: Calron Moonsilver on July 23, 2010, 04:37:20 AM
Well, I have said that he is trying to regain the family's wealth. As such the only way that would be achievable is to travel considering that merchants and nobles in their hometown of Voldar would be unwilling to associate with them. I hope that answers your question Alexandre, and does give enough reason as to why he might travel about Santh.


Title: Re: Calron Moonsilver / Erpheronian / Noble
Post by: Alexandre Scriabin on July 24, 2010, 02:50:40 PM
That's a splendid reason why. Yet there is the question of how. Has he delegated anyone to take care of his responsibilities? Or does he communicate frequently with his family? It is a matter of how, not why.


Title: Re: Calron Moonsilver / Erpheronian / Noble
Post by: Calron Moonsilver on July 25, 2010, 02:38:13 AM
Forgive me Alexandre, I was rushing to conclusions. I've added a line in the hopes of explaining the "how" and I hope that it will suffice. Thanks for pointing that out to me, vrey much appreciated  :grin:


Title: Re: Calron Moonsilver / Erpheronian / Noble
Post by: Sylvia Palinor on July 29, 2010, 04:12:54 AM
I just have one small comment. This quote is from your belongings section.


Quote
Longsword, Scabbard & Belt
Riding Boots
Silver Ring
Black Iron Earring

Surely this can't be all of the items that you keep with you? Do you have any armour or equipment that you carry in you bag? Any extra clothes? What about food and drink? Any water flasks or rations? If he is a noble with good looks, would he want to bring items to groom himself with? Just things you could put. If you think of more feel free to put them there.

After you have attended to that, I'll give you your first approval. :thumbup:


Title: Re: Calron Moonsilver / Erpheronian / Noble
Post by: Calron Moonsilver on July 29, 2010, 05:27:55 AM
Adjusted as you have requested Sylvia, I trust that everything will be in order. With the coin that he has he should be able to get a meal, and the like with relative ease. I hope this addresses all of your concerns and thank you for the comments.


Title: Re: Calron Moonsilver / Erpheronian / Noble
Post by: Sylvia Palinor on July 29, 2010, 05:34:12 AM
:pet: First Approval! :pet:     :fish:


Title: Re: Calron Moonsilver / Erpheronian / Noble
Post by: Malexia Vendu on July 29, 2010, 06:04:32 AM
I still believe you to be unbalanced. You are quite a formidable knight as well as a expert mounted rider. I don't think your weaknesses balance that out.

Your familiar should be included as a strength in addition to your riding skills.


Title: Re: Calron Moonsilver / Erpheronian / Noble
Post by: Kalína Dalá'isyrás on July 29, 2010, 01:47:18 PM
I agree with Azhira. I would like to see a good additional solid weakness to help counter the strengths. Be creative :D


Title: Re: Calron Moonsilver / Erpheronian / Noble
Post by: Thaelel Swordmar on July 29, 2010, 08:54:51 PM
Perhaps mild strangling disease (http://www.santharia.com/diseases/strangling_disease.htm) or something of that kind?


Title: Re: Calron Moonsilver / Erpheronian / Noble
Post by: Calron Moonsilver on December 22, 2010, 09:55:55 PM
Just bumping this up to make it easier to find. This CD should be finished soon once I add in the comments.


Title: Re: Calron Moonsilver / Erpheronian / Noble
Post by: Alexandre Scriabin on December 23, 2010, 02:53:52 AM
PM me once you're finished. I'll go see about giving you a second approval, then.


Edit: Hmmmm... I'll have to leave that up to Kali and Malexia now, they're the ones who took issue with your S's and W's, so we're letting them decide upon titling you.


Title: Re: Calron Moonsilver / Erpheronian / Noble
Post by: Calron Moonsilver on December 25, 2010, 09:22:57 AM
Alright peoples, I've finally added my fourth (and hopefully final) weakness in the hopes of creating a more balanced character. I look forward to hearing/reading any and all comments, questions, or concerns that you may or may not have. Thank you all once again for taking the time to actually read through this lengthy CD.


Title: Re: Calron Moonsilver / Erpheronian / Noble
Post by: Covette on December 25, 2010, 04:26:47 PM
Hello Calron and welcome to Santharia! Your CD overall, was a wonderful read. The only point I noticed was this:
Quote
Stunning good looks, and noble blood...
The way you have this worded makes a great weakness, but 'stunning good looks' would be a strength also. I would think anyhow. That is definitely an aspect far beyond average and would grant him advantages in many circles.

Just my 2 Sans .... Hope the remainder of your writings are swift and your title comes with haste!

~Sincerely~ Covette


Title: Re: Calron Moonsilver / Erpheronian / Noble
Post by: Calron Moonsilver on January 01, 2011, 10:12:12 AM
Thank you for that particular point of interest Covette. I've added that into the Strength section and hopefully my CD is more balanced than it was before. I certainly hope so, and with that said I am once again ready for further comments.


Title: Re: Calron Moonsilver / Erpheronian / Noble
Post by: Ridgen Sú'ufanán on January 03, 2011, 04:05:45 AM
Two quick things I noticed about your CD, Calron:

 - I'm sorry, but I believe your strengths still outweigh your weaknesses by a little bit more than is acceptable, although that's only my opinion.

 - Right, to the more important bit. Most mods prefer that your Familiar section have a History sub-section. For the others, it's okay, but it does help quite a bit if you do have a history section for your familiar. This is only a suggestion though.

That's all I saw there. Oh, and I think you misspelled 'interests' in the first weakness.


Title: Re: Calron Moonsilver / Erpheronian / Noble
Post by: Sir Ruil Mallister on January 10, 2011, 03:03:13 PM
The sword is made of a sturdy steel blade, made specifically to cut through plate armours.
I hope I'm not overly picky, but this line really caught my attention.  No sword, short of some sinister magic, can defeat plate armor.  Swords only "defeated" plate by going around or underneath it.  So I would reassess this sword of his.  Perhaps it would be easier to just give him a typical Centoraurian Shortsword (http://santharia.com/weapons/centoraurian_shortsword.htm).


Title: Re: Calron Moonsilver / Erpheronian / Noble
Post by: Calron Moonsilver on January 31, 2011, 04:27:20 AM
Thank you for your comments gentleman, but I would like to address some of your concerns here. If I'm out of line here, correction and clarification would be very much appreciated.

First, Ridgen's comments. I am a poor judge as to whether or not my character here is balanced, but I would still like to see what the mods have to say about it's current appearance. As for my familiars history, I do believe that I made some mention of how Cloud came into Calron's possession. Thank you once again for your comments, they are very much appreciated :).

Secondly, Sir Ruil Mallister's comments. I'm fairly certain that there did exist swords that could puncture through armor, or sheer away at plate mail. Plate armor usually has links of chain, or leather holding the plates together so cutting away at the joint like areas should make "cutting through plate armor" possible. I hope this clarifies things further.


Title: Re: Calron Moonsilver / Erpheronian / Noble
Post by: Mathis Mallister on January 31, 2011, 06:57:34 AM
Secondly, Sir Ruil Mallister's comments. I'm fairly certain that there did exist swords that could puncture through armor, or sheer away at plate mail. Plate armor usually has links of chain, or leather holding the plates together so cutting away at the joint like areas should make "cutting through plate armor" possible. I hope this clarifies things further.

It's certainly possible to cut through a piece of leather. Chain mail, not so much. A cut is exactly what chain mail protects against best. Either way, by saying "cutting through plate armor" that's not what you're describing. If you're talking about *aiming* for a weak point of chain mail or leather and piercing at that weak point - then say that, and we'll go from there.

I think you should also clarify what exactly you mean by a "rectangular blade", because any image that description puts in my head looks more like a cleaver than a precision piercing weapon - which is fine and dandy if you're cutting through plate, but that's not not even remotely realistic for a weapon so small.

Edit: I just noticed your character has a longsword as well. That's the weapon he would want to use to strike out at an enemy in plate armor.


Title: Re: Calron Moonsilver / Erpheronian / Noble
Post by: Calron Moonsilver on January 31, 2011, 09:28:11 AM
Alright gentlemen I think I have then addressed your comments and concerns. I certainly hope everything looks good now, and I eagerly await further comments from the people of the Board.


Title: Re: Calron Moonsilver / Erpheronian / Noble
Post by: Alexandre Scriabin on January 31, 2011, 04:37:04 PM
Quote
At all times, Calron carries two weapons on his person at all times.

This is an excerpt from the area of your recent changes. Also, in the sentence after, the longsword is still mentioned as the first item of two, even though you omitted the second item.

In the meanwhile, you have my approval (if no one objects), Calron. Just take care of that issue, and remove the omitted material when asked to take out the colors by your titler, so that you can be titled and have your CD archived.


Title: Re: Calron Moonsilver / Erpheronian / Noble
Post by: Calron Moonsilver on February 10, 2011, 06:29:32 AM
Thanks for all your help Alexander, I've made my adjustments. With any luck I'll be up for titleing(?) soon so I would like to take this moment to thank the academy of excellent CD writers for all their help.


Title: Re: Calron Moonsilver / Erpheronian / Noble
Post by: Deklitch Hardin on February 21, 2011, 06:13:15 AM
As far as I can see, Calron, all that you're waiting on is a title ... as both of our Administrators are busy people off line, it'll be when they can get around to it. In the meantime, you can always join a story, tell them that you've received two approvals and are waiting for titling ... oh, and if you haven't removed your editting colours yet, please do so now.

No one has come up with an issue with your CD in 3 weeks ... so we might be safe there as well.

Dek

Cross posted to Character Descriptions in Waiting and Calron's CD.


Title: Re: Calron Moonsilver / Erpheronian / Noble
Post by: Alexandre Scriabin on February 21, 2011, 08:34:15 AM
Calron, I don't mind if you join us at the Thirsty Herald, and you should probably ask Kareesh but I doubt she'll take issue either. I know I'm an active mod right now, so you probably won't find yourself in too slow of a story.

So come on over and make a post in the joining request thread, and we can get you started with your first RP experience here in the meantime.


Title: Re: Calron Moonsilver / Erpheronian / Noble
Post by: Kalína Dalá'isyrás on February 22, 2011, 03:39:14 AM
Titled and Archived!


Title: Re: Calron Moonsilver / Erpheronian / Noble
Post by: Calron Moonsilver on February 27, 2011, 10:11:04 AM
Alright ladies and gentleman! I'm finally finished with the color removal and would like to thank everyone who helped me in creating this CD. All of your comments, and suggestions were very much appreciated. Now to wait for an admin.


Title: Re: Calron Moonsilver / Erpheronian / Noble
Post by: Alexandre Scriabin on February 27, 2011, 10:18:31 AM
Switched the icon for this CD to "waiting for titling" in order for the admins to know what's up.


Title: Re: Calron Moonsilver / Erpheronian / Noble
Post by: Kalína Dalá'isyrás on February 27, 2011, 03:24:38 PM
 :thumbup: