Adventures of Caelereth

Archives => Approved Characters Archive II => Topic started by: Phyth Glenfield on April 23, 2006, 06:15:23 AM



Title: Phyth Glenfield, Centoraurian Mercenary
Post by: Phyth Glenfield on April 23, 2006, 06:15:23 AM
Name: Phyth Glenfield
Gender: Male
Age: 36
Race: Human
Tribe: Centoraurian
Occupation: Mercenary
Title: Mounted Mercenary
Height: 1.95 peds
Weight: 1.85 pygges
Eye Color: Brown
Hair Color: Red

Overview:
A mercenary for hire, Phyth Glenfield roams the countryside looking for jobs of any kind. He has made many friends in his travels. He'll do almost anything he's paid to do, as long as it does not involve hunting down and killing people.

Appearance:
Half a handspan short of two peds, Phyth is a proud and rugged looking man. He's a little taller than most Centoraurians, but other than that he has the typical look of his people. He keeps his red hair down to his shoulders, and a scruffy beard covers his face. His eyes are a rich brown that match the color of Iago's hair. Bite marks on cover sides of his right forearm. Phyth received them from an angry warg a while back. His body is lean, and his arms and legs are well muscled, but thin enough to fit into his armor. His legs move well and fast, allowing him to twist and do many tricks in the saddle.

Clothes:
Phyth dresses like most of the people in his tribe, which is mostly leather. He wears a leather shirt over a brown cotton blouse that ends above his elbow, with the leather ending in a kilt around his waist. A pair of leather vambraces are on his arms, protecting the top of his hands. He has brown pants that are made of cotton, and he wears leather riding boots that come up close to his knees. Phyth wears a cloth cloak with a hood to keep out of the rain, and also has a leather one that he wears in the winter.

Personality:
Phyth is a cynical man. Sometimes this makes people angry at him, though he is not trying to. He's also quick to see irony in anything, and isn't afraid to point it out. Phyth has a slightly proud, even cocky, attitude at times. Due to his profession, he mostly listens rather than speaks, which makes it easy for some people to talk to him, and hard for others. But he will say something sarcastic when he feels like it. He has a wide, pleasant smile behind his beard. Or at least, it's pleasant when he's happy or laughing. At other times, when he's seeing someone ironic, the smile turns into something that makes that person feel uncomfortable.  Being a Centoraurian, he hates seeing people oppressed, and will even go out of his way to help them. This has landed him into trouble a few times, due to the fact that some of the oppressors were armed.

Strengths:
His horsemanship skills have improved greatly since he joined the Centoraurian army, and he can fire his bow between the horses steps to hit a moving target 30 peds away. His great eyesight also helps him with this.
Phyth moves silently, which is something that comes naturally to him. This helps him when he's doing his job, and doesn't want to be heard.
His training in the army taught him how to his bastard sword well, on foot or on his horse.
Phyth is covered in leather armor, protecting him from some attacks.

Weaknesses:
He is hard of hearing in his right ear, which is a severe handicap for him. It can lead him to trouble when he has to gather information, and it also makes it easy for someone to sneak up on him from that side. During fights, he has had many close calls from when an unexpected enemy snuck up on him.       
Because of his bond with his horse, he can become depressed (even violent) when they are separated for long periods of time.
Phyth is distrusting of most people's abilities, usually solving everything on his own. He prefers to work alone, and even when outnumbered he refuses to accept aid.
In Phyth's mind, Iago's needs come before his own. He always tends to her before anything else, even if he is wounded or to the point of exhaustion.
Since he relies on riding Iago for traveling, he can't run for long distances. Even when walking on foot he must take breaks every few hours.
His right arm still aches occasionally, and on cold days it hurts considerably, making it very hard for him to fight.
He is not used to the cold. Although he has traveled to cold places and has warm clothes, cold weather drains him. He'd rather sleep outside, but even with a warm fire he must seek shelter when it's cold.
Phyth can be very impatient. He can't stand people whom he thinks waste time and don't get anything done. Although he can wait, if he doesn't know it will acomplish anything he won't. This has made him make rash choices, some of them he regrets.

History:
Phyth was born and raised in the field of Lawapedion, in the Aurora fields. He grew up with two brothers and a sister. His father is the owner of a large estate, and has many horses roaming his land. From early on he was taught how to ride, care for, and even raise horses. When he was six he came down with an illness, which affected his right ear, making it hard to hear on his right side.

When he was old enough he worked on his father's estate, but he knew it wasn't what he wanted to do the rest of his life. His father expected Phyth to inherit the estate when he was old enough, because Phyth was his oldest son. But being a noble didn't appeal to him, and he didn't like the thought of owning his estate and doing nothing for the rest of his life. 

Because joining the army is required to be a citizen in his tribe, Phyth joined as soon as he was old enough. His mother gave him a silver brooch when he left for the army, in the shape of a horse with wings. Phyth learned how to fight with a sword on foot and on horseback. He also learned how to use a bow in the army, and how to fire it on a horse. His good eyesight helped him when learning how to use a bow, and he learned how to fire between the horses steps.

After spending time in the army, Phyth began to get restless, wondering what he wanted to do with his life. He remembered his father hiring some mercenaries a few years back to hunt down a horse thief. He had greatly admired them because they traveled a lot, and because they could do whatever they wanted. So after giving it much thought, Phyth decided he would become a mercenary, taking jobs from whoever would hire him.

He soon left the army and went home to his family. Phyth told his his family about his desire to travel. His father, however, didn't approve of his idea. He was already angry at him for wanting to leave the estate in the first place, and to him this was the last straw. Phyth tried to convince him, but his father refused to agree with him. His father disowned him,  refusing to give him any money.

Angry at his father, Phyth stormed up to his room, and locked himself in. That night he left his room, took some money from his father, and walked quietly to the stables. He reached the stables, and began saddling up a horse, Iago, that Phyth had raised from a foal. Iago was his favorite horse. Phyth took his money, gear, and horse, and left his home. He vowed he would not kill, unless it was necessary. If someone asks him to kill, he usually captures the person and lets whoever hired him kill the man.

His first destination was the city of Voldar, where he hoped to find someone who would hire him at an inn. But he was not paid the way he expected in his first hunt, because after he reached the inn he was informed by the stable hand that his horse had been stolen by two short figures. Phyth was outraged, and immediately went searching for her. He searched the city for days, getting more depressed and angry each day he searched. One day he reached a neighborhood of Gnomes, when he heard a familiar neigh coming from a rundown house with a shack in the back. Sure enough, in the shack was Iago. He spotted two Gnomes in the house, looking over some goods. He broke into the house and drew his sword, meaning to kill the two Gnomes.

He realized what he was doing though, and knew it was because he had been separated from Iago. It was the first time this had happened, but not the last. He quickly tied up the two men, and sent for the guards. They were extremely grateful, because it seemed that the goods in the house were stolen from the citizens. Phyth received a reward for the thieves, and the people were grateful. Word soon spread, and it helped Phyth because people were willing to hire him.

His first experience outside of South Sarvonia was a dangerous one. He took passage on a boat sailing for the trading town of Naurooth. His intended destination was the town of Darooth. The first thing he noticed was that it was cold. Growing up in south Sarvonia, he hadn't felt that cold ever. After leaving Naurooth town, Phyth began to head east  until he reached the Celeste lowlands.

Suddenly a short distance away he began to hear screaming. He rode quickly to discover who it was, and soon he reached a caravan of what appeared to be merchants. They were surrounded by a pack of wargs, and no one had any weapons to defend themselves with. Phyth charged in on his horse, shooting one warg dead with his bow. He quickly jumped off his horse and drew his blade. Phyth killed the warg that was closest to him, and they began to retreat. But before he could stab at a third, the warg brought down his mouth and bit Phyth's arm. It might have been the end of him there, except the people started yelling, distracting the warg long enough for him to kill it.

Exhausted from the fighting and his wound, Phyth immediately fainted. The merchants took him back to Naurooth, which was their destination. When they reached Naurooth, the merchants left him in the home of an elderly couple to care for his wound. The wound was near fatal, having lost massive amounts of blood, and he stayed there for months. After he was well enough to walk around, he found that the merchants had already left, but they had left him a gift. It was a sheath for his sword, inlaid with silver. The couple told him it was very valuable. As soon as he was well enough, Phyth paid the couple for their troubles, and left North Sarvonia.

He has been traveling across the countryside, mostly staying in South Sarvonia, until gradually his wealth grew to more than he can carry. He makes a trip up to Naurooth town to leave his money with his friends when it does. He has never spoken to his father since he left, but still hopes to someday. In his travels he has made lots of friends, and also many enemies.

Weapons:
Phyth wields a bastard sword that his father gave him when he began his training. He also has a shortbow and a quiver of arrows. He has a Centoraurian shortsword that he keeps strapped to his saddle, where he can reach it easily.

Belongings:
He has a sack of money that he keeps under his leather shirt next to his chest. He also has a silver brooch on his cloak that his mother gave him, in the shape of a horse with wings. A pack is on the back of his saddle, which has some food, blankets, and gear for his horse in it. He has a valuable sheath for his sword, inlaid with silver.

Familiars:
Phyth only has one companion; his Centoraurian horse Iago. She is a proud, but delicate looking animal. Iago is around average height for a Centoraurian horse, standing at roughly 14 hands. Her hair is a dark eophran brown; her mane and tail a slightly lighter color. A small white blaze blaze runs down her nose. Everything about her stance shows she is proud, from her arched neck, to her tail held high. She has long, slim legs; the legs of a racing horse. Her body is also slimmer than average.

Iago was bred, and for part of her life raised, to be a racing horse. Despite having not had the extensive training that other Centoraurian horses receive, Iago is still quite fast. But although she can run at high speeds, her endurance wears thin when she runs at top speed. Phyth tends to not let people know that. Although she is considered a racing horse (if one tried to classify her), Iago keeps her head well in battle. But unless there's a chase, Phyth tends to do most of his fighting on foot, to avoid injury to her.

As for her personality, two words describe her best. Proud and stubborn. She refuses to let anyone else handle her, unless she is very, very confident that they are Phyth's friend. The two are inseparable, having never been apart since Phyth stole her. He shares a strong bond with her, and gets very angry and depressed if they are separated for a long time. They support each other in their travels, and without her Phyth would probably have given up long ago. Iago is a very valuable horse, and many attempts have been made to steal her. Hence the reason Phyth is loathe to have anyone near her. But anyone who is a friend of Phyth is a friend of Iago.


Title: Re: Phyth Glenfield
Post by: Ta'lia of the Seven Jewels on April 23, 2006, 07:22:23 AM
Hello.. :wave

Standing a little over 1 ped and 2 fores.. that is not 1, 95peds
1, 95 peds= "half a handspan short of two peds" or "one ped and nine and a half handspans"..

***Astropic of the day***
"For me there is only the traveling on paths that have heart, on any path   that may have heart. There I travel, and the only worthwhile challenge is to traverse its full length. And there I travel looking, looking, breathlessly. ~Don Juan"



Title: Re: Phyth Glenfield
Post by: Cronah S Achran on April 23, 2006, 07:40:23 AM
Hi,

Just some surgestions;

Tell a little bit more about your familiar, only a name won't do i think. Tell something about it's color, height, habbits mayby.

And have a look at these dancing bunnies:

Cronah S Achran

Stories become real once you read them.



Title: Re: Phyth Glenfield
Post by: Phyth Glenfield on April 23, 2006, 08:40:23 AM
Done and done...
A question though. I seem to recall reading I'm supposed to change the color of my edits. Should I do that?

"No matter where you go, there you are..."
Buckaroo Banzai



Title: Re: Phyth Glenfield
Post by: so orril miesefer on April 23, 2006, 09:16:23 AM
Is better, cause mods and admins will find easier the corrections.



Title: Re: Phyth Glenfield
Post by: Cronah S Achran on April 23, 2006, 09:17:23 AM
It reads a lot easier, so if i were you i should do it.

Cronah S Achran

Stories become real once you read them.



Title: Re: Phyth Glenfield
Post by: so orril miesefer on April 23, 2006, 09:31:23 AM
Just I beg you don't use dark colors... is very hard to see them.



Title: Re: Phyth Glenfield
Post by: Drasil Razorfang on April 23, 2006, 10:23:23 AM
I'll do a full read through later.

Drasil Razorfang CD



Title: Re: Phyth Glenfield
Post by: Valerian Folken on April 24, 2006, 02:21:23 AM
hmmm.... a couple minor points.......

you had mentioned in your history that he learned how to use a sword (which is most definetly a strength)

you had mentioned in your personality that he hates seeing people oppressed, and will go out of his way to help them.... yet (at least as far as I can see) .... you make no mention of why he would do so (there is generally a reason for something like this)

heck, he has a pretty dark outlook, for someone who is : - the son of a noble - given what generally takes a while for other people to get..... - and a safe haven in case he gets tired of the very demanding life of an adventurer..... for  someone who has encountered very little opposition is his life, you might need to rethink your personality

in your history, you mention that you were your father's heir, but that he let you go, and bought you a horse..... this would be unlikely, as if you indeed were the only heir, it would certainly be a lot harder than "Hey Dad, i know that you wanted to pass on the family name, and have someone to take care of the estate, yet I want to go see the world. See you." "Have my blessings, some armor, a weapon ,and this horse , and go"  

A little elaboration on your history would be appreciated, as the way your char is set up (see earlier notes).... he is just internally inconsistent..

and your personality and the mercenary lifestyle are out of sync , are you telling me that you'd help oppressed people, as you hate seeing it , and your overview is this :
A mercenary for hire, Phyth Glenfield roams the countryside looking for jobs of any kind. He is only interested in money, and his horse Iago is his only friend. He'll do almost any job he's hired to do. For a price.

might need to rework this

And there, but for the grace of the Goddess, go I. Where demons fear to tread, and angels fear to fly.
I already have all the facts and the dates. What I really need is a story



Title: Re: Phyth Glenfield
Post by: Phyth Glenfield on April 24, 2006, 06:42:23 AM
I put the the fact he hates seeing people oppressed becuase of his tribe, the Centoraurians.

I'll try to elaborate more on his history. And his personality, yeah, there's some things I want to change in that.

"No matter where you go, there you are..."
Buckaroo Banzai

Edited by: Phyth Glenfield  at: 4/23/06 22:43


Title: Re: Phyth Glenfield
Post by: Twn Arerwn on April 24, 2006, 02:48:23 PM
Hello Phyth, as you mentioned you are going to integrate some of Val's comments. I am going to put the pencil up for you, when you are happy with what you have. Ezmail me and put the exclamation mark back onto your CD. I'll do a full URI check for you when you are ready.:)

~bows gracefully and departs~

(: :The first morning after acquiring her familiar, the mage awoke with fleabites and mange.: :)



Title: Re: Phyth Glenfield
Post by: Phyth Glenfield on April 24, 2006, 11:10:23 PM
Grrr...
I decided my horse is a female, but I put the word colt in it. I can't remember what the word for a baby female horse is. Anyone know?

"No matter where you go, there you are..."
Buckaroo Banzai



Title: Re: Phyth Glenfield
Post by: Kalna Dal'isyrs on April 24, 2006, 11:31:23 PM
Believe when young - no matter of gender, they are called colts. Only when they reach adulthood are they a Mare and Stallion.



Title: Re: Phyth Glenfield
Post by: Kareesh Valendar on April 24, 2006, 11:34:23 PM
Lemme see....one word is foal...I think that's just a generic term. The word "filly" is for a baby female horse. "Colt" is for a male. Also, "mare" is the word you want to use when it's grown up.

Shall I end this haunting nightmare for you?

Visit the world of Ardua



Title: Re: Phyth Glenfield
Post by: Kalna Dal'isyrs on April 24, 2006, 11:51:23 PM
Foal is for a unborn/newborn



Title: Re: Phyth Glenfield
Post by: Phyth Glenfield on April 24, 2006, 11:56:23 PM
If foal is a newborn, then I think that will work.

"No matter where you go, there you are..."
Buckaroo Banzai



Title: Re: Phyth Glenfield
Post by: Drasil Razorfang on April 25, 2006, 01:08:23 AM
I comment in lime


Name: Phyth Glenfield
Gender: Male
Age: 36
Race: Human
Tribe: Centoraurian
Occupation: Mercenary
Title: Mounted Mercenary
Height: 1.95 peds (No decimals!  Say just under 2 peds.  Also be aware that this is taller than the average Centoraurian man and therefore you might want to shrink him down.)
Weight: 1.85 pygges(Again say a bit under 2 pygges)
Eye Color: Blue
Hair Color: Red
(The hair color and eyes are an odd combination as people with darker eyes usually have darker hair or Vice versa because of dominant traits)
Overview:
A mercenary for hire, Phyth Glenfield roams the countryside looking for jobs of any kind. Becuase he travels so much, he has few friends. He'll do almost any job he's hired to do, for a price. He does not, however, kill people, unless they fight him, or he feels they are to dangerous to be left alive.

Appearance:
Half a handspan short of two peds,(Again a little to tall) Phyth is a rugged looking man. He's a little taller than most Centoruarians, and his hair is red. But other than that he has the typical look of his people. He keeps his unkempt hair long (about at his shoulders), and has a scruffy beard.

Clothes:
Phyth dresses like most of the people in his tribe, which is mostly leather. He wears a leather shirt over a brown cotton blouse that covers his arms. He has brown pants that are made of cotton, and he wears leather riding boots that come up close to his knees. He wears a cloth cloak with a hood to keep out of the rain, and also has a leather one that he wears in the winter.

Personality:
Phyth is a cynical man, and is prone to sarcasm. He's also quick to see irony in anything. Due to his profession, he mostly listens rather than speaks. But when he does, it's because he has a good reason to say it. Being a Centoraurian, he hates seeing people oppressed, and will even go out of his way to help them.

Strengths:
Because of his joining the Centoraurian army, he is skilled in fighting on horseback
He has exeptional eyesight for a human, which makes him a skilled archer.
He has moves silently, which is something that comes naturally to him.
He knows how to use his bastard sword well
(Distinguish which is his main weapon, either the sword or the bow as he cannot be a master in both)
Weaknesses:
He is hard of hearing in his right ear, which can lead him to trouble when he has to gather information.
Because of his bond with his horse, he can become depressed (even violent) when they are separated for long periods of time.

History:
Phyth was born and raised in the field of Lawapedion, in the Aurora fields. He grew up with two brothers and a sister. His father is the owner of a large estate, and has many horses roaming his land. From early on he was taught how to ride, care for, and even raise horses. When he was six, he came down with an illness, which affected his right ear, making him hard of hearing.

When he was old enough, he worked on his father's estate, but he knew it wasn't what he wanted to do the rest of his life. His father expected Phyth to inherit the estate when he was old enough, because Phyth was his oldest son(heir is the title for the person the father gives everything too, which is what he becomes when his father dies, unless he refuses.).

Becuase joining the army is required to be a citizen in his tribe, Phyth joined as soon as he was old enough. He learned how to fight with a sword on foot and on horseback. He also learned how to use a bow very quickly(confusing, reword), and learned how to fire it on a horse. His good eyesight helped (deleted a helped here because you had two)him when learning how to use a bow, and he learned how to fire between the horses steps.

After spending time in the army, Phyth began to get restless, wondering what he wanted to do with his life. He remembered his father hiring some mercenaries a few years back(deleted comma) to hunt down a horse theif. He had greatly admired them(why, was it thier rugged behavior.  Mercenaries are ususally not someone people admire?), and the thought of traveling around greatly appealed to him. So after giving it much thought, Phyth decided he would become a mercenary, taking jobs from whoever would hire him.

He soon left the army and went home to his family. Phyth told his his family about his desire to become a mercenary(why not say to travel.  Its a little wierd desireing to become a mercenary as they are often not appealing people, especially if he is of a wealthy family since he would be going from a high place in society to almost the bottom). His father, however, didn't approve of his idea. He was already angry at him for leaving the estate in the first place, and to him this was the last straw. Phyth tried to convince him, but his father refused to agree with him.

Angry at his father, Phyth stormed up to his room, and locked himself in. That night he left his room, took some money from his father, and walked quietly to the stables. He reached the stables, and began saddling up a horse, Lago, whom Phyth had raised from foal. Lago was his favorite horse. Phyth took his money, gear, and horse, and left his home to make a living(huh?  you have stated above that he is rich.) Since then he has been traveling all over, taking jobs from whoever will hire him. He vowed he would not kill, unless it was necessary.(Why?  Killing is part of being a mercenary)

Weapons:
Phyth wields a Bastard sword that his father gave him when he began his training.(You state that his father did not approve of him joining the military.  Why would he reward him?) He also has a shortbow and a quiver of arrows. He has a Centoraurian shortsword that he keeps strapped to his saddle, where he can reach it easily.

Belongings:
He has a sack of money that he keeps under his leather shirt next to his chest. He also has a silver brooch on his cloak that his mother gave him, in the shape of a horse with wings(put in history.  Was it a birthday gift, or maybe a gift for something he accomplished such as ranking up in the military?). He has little other belongings that are important to him

Familiars:
His horse, Lago. Lago is a medium sized mare. Her hair is a dark brown, with a white stripe down her nose. She can be a bit stubborn, but always helps Phyth out of a jam.  (might want to mention how close that he is with her as centaurian's are known for thier bond's with thier horses.)

Drasil Razorfang CD



Title: Re: Phyth Glenfield
Post by: Phyth Glenfield on April 25, 2006, 12:39:23 AM
I changed it, probably more later.  
Three things I didn't change. One, the horse name starts with an i, so it's Iago, not Lago.
And second, I asked about the decimals in the new player section, and Kalina said use them.
Third, I wanted him to be taller than average. I know that it's taller than most Centoraurians, but he's supposed to be that way. If my character is required to be average height, I'll change it.

"No matter where you go, there you are..."
Buckaroo Banzai

Edited by: Phyth Glenfield  at: 4/24/06 16:42


Title: Re: Phyth Glenfield
Post by: Drasil Razorfang on April 25, 2006, 01:41:23 AM
hmm...I remember reading that you weren't supposed to... I'll go check.

Drasil Razorfang CD



Title: Re: Phyth Glenfield
Post by: Kalna Dal'isyrs on April 25, 2006, 01:43:23 AM
Yes - after going back and forth on the issue - I think we may be reverting back to requesting decimals as it adds a bit more uniqueness to a character to have their exact height and a CD is an OOC write-up. Even though the character itself may not know how tall he/she is exactly but you as the author should know that kind of information. That is what the CD is about - you telling us about your character, not the character telling us about himself. That is for RPing.



Title: Re: Phyth Glenfield
Post by: Phyth Glenfield on April 25, 2006, 01:43:23 AM
I did too, that's why I asked...

"No matter where you go, there you are..."
Buckaroo Banzai



Title: Re: Phyth Glenfield
Post by: Drasil Razorfang on April 25, 2006, 01:53:23 AM
Ok.

Drasil Razorfang CD



Title: Re: Phyth Glenfield
Post by: Twn Arerwn on April 25, 2006, 04:20:23 AM
Thank you very kindly for the EZmail Phyth! I can not stress enough to all new players, emailing me really helps me organize who needs my help. Now as promised I will give the entire thing a once over. My comments shall be in the ever-ugly color:Orange  My own ideas or things I want to REALLY stress shall be in:Red

Name: Phyth Glenfield
Gender: Male
Age: 36
Race: Human
Tribe: Centoraurian
Occupation: Mercenary
Title: Mounted Mercenary
Height: 1.95 peds
Weight: 1.85 pygges
Eye Color: Brown
Hair Color: Red

Overview:
A mercenary for hire, Phyth Glenfield roams the countryside looking for jobs of any kind. Becuase he travels so much, he has few friends. He'll do almost any job he's hired to do, for a price. He does not, however, kill people, unless they fight him, or he feels they are to dangerous to be left alive.

Appearance:
Half a handspan short of two peds, Phyth is a rugged looking man. He's a little taller than most Centoruarians, and his hair is red. But other than that he has the typical look of his people. He keeps his unkempt hair long (about at his shoulders), and has a scruffy beard. What is his eye color? I know you have it listed above but in this area you can trully define a simple word like brown. Are they the color of light chestnut or are they a mysterious hue of light tan mingled with a deep oak color? Other things like scars, tattoos or piercings are nice additions here. Mind you these things are not necessities but eye color is.

Clothes:
Phyth dresses like most of the people in his tribe, which is mostly leather. He wears a leather shirt over a brown cotton blouse that covers his arms. He has brown pants that are made of cotton, and he wears leather riding boots that come up close to his knees. He wears a cloth cloak with a hood to keep out of the rain, and also has a leather one that he wears in the winter.

Personality:
Phyth is a cynical man, and is prone to sarcasm. He's also quick to see irony in anything. Due to his profession, he mostly listens rather than speaks. But when he does, it's because he has a good reason to say it. Being a Centoraurian, he hates seeing people oppressed, and will even go out of his way to help them.

A bit more flesh to many of these would aid alot in defining them as strengths and weaknesses. Nothing elaborate, but a few sentences to each would really be nice. Examples of how these strengths and weaknesses have affected his life would be quite helpful.

Strengths:
Because of his joining the Centoraurian army, he is skilled in fighting on horseback Example: Since he has joined the Centoraurian army, his horsemanship skills have become very evident. Phyth could easily hit a running target at 30 peds with his bow, as he rode by in a full gallop. (A little more to each of your strength and weaknesses really helps us judge balance.)
He has moves silently, which is something that comes naturally to him.
He knows how to use his bastard sword well.

Weaknesses:
He is hard of hearing in his right ear, which can lead him to trouble when he has to gather information.
Because of his bond with his horse, he can become depressed (even violent) when they are separated for long periods of time.

History:
Phyth was born and raised in the field of Lawapedion, in the Aurora fields. He grew up with two brothers and a sister. His father is the owner of a large estate, and has many horses roaming his land. From early on he was taught how to ride, care for, and even raise horses. When he was six he came down with an illness, which affected his right ear, making it hard to hear on his right side.

When he was old enough he worked on his father's estate, but he knew it wasn't what he wanted to do the rest of his life. His father expected Phyth to inherit the estate when he was old enough, because Phyth was his oldest son. But being a noble didn't appeal to him, and he didn't like the thought of owning his estate and doing nothing for the rest of his life.

Becuase joining the army is required to be a citizen in his tribe, Phyth joined as soon as he was old enough. His mother gave him a silver brooch when he left for the army, in the shape of a horse with wings. Phyth learned how to fight with a sword on foot and on horseback. He also learned how to use a bow in the army, and how to fire it on a horse. His good eyesight helped him when learning how to use a bow, and he learned how to fire between the horses steps. As I noted in your strengths section, little mentions like you have here of his skills would be great throughout your strengths and weaknesses. This is a wonderful example, and as it is somewhat already written not hard to integrate IMHO.

After spending time in the army, Phyth began to get restless, wondering what he wanted to do with his life. He remembered his father hiring some mercenaries a few years back to hunt down a horse thief. He had greatly admired them becuase they traveled a lot, and because they could do whatever they wanted. So after giving it much thought, Phyth decided he would become a mercenary, taking jobs from whoever would hire him.

He soon left the army and went home to his family. Phyth told his his family about his desire to travel. His father, however, didn't approve of his idea. He was already angry at him for wanting to leave the estate in the first place, and to him this was the last straw. Phyth tried to convince him, but his father refused to agree with him. His father disowned him, refusing to give him any money.

Angry at his father, Phyth stormed up to his room, and locked himself in. That night he left his room, took some money from his father, and walked quietly to the stables. He reached the stables, and began saddling up a horse, Iago, that Phyth had raised from a foal. Iago was his favorite horse. Phyth took his money, gear, and horse, and left his home. Since then he has been traveling all over, taking jobs from whoever will hire him. He vowed he would not kill, unless it was necessary. If someone asks him to kill, he usually captures the person and let's whoever hired him kill the man.

Weapons:
Phyth wields a Bbastard sword that his father gave him when he began his training. He also has a shortbow and a quiver of arrows. He has a Centoraurian shortsword that he keeps strapped to his saddle, where he can reach it easily.

Belongings:
He has a sack of money that he keeps under his leather shirt next to his chest. He also has a silver brooch on his cloak that his mother gave him, in the shape of a horse with wings. He has little other belongings that are important to him.

Mention of mundane things on his horse may help, little things like food, does he have something to sleep in or just some trinkets he has collected in his travels. Once again this is not a necessity but only suggestions.

Familiars:
His horse, Iago. Iago is a mare, and she's a medium sized horse. Her hair is a dark brown, with a white stripe down her nose. She can be a bit stubborn, but always helps Phyth out of a jam. He shares a strong bond with her, and gets depressed when they are seperated for a long time.

I really like this character overall, though the history is a bit short. Especially for someone that seems to have travelled as much as this character has. Are there no woman he has met, enemies he has created in his travels or just certain places or people that are very friendly to him for services rendered?

I will place the pencil icon for you, when you are done with the edits feel free to ezmail me again and change the icon to the exclamation mark.


~bows gracefully and departs~

(: :The first morning after acquiring her familiar, the mage awoke with fleabites and mange.: :)



Title: Re: Phyth Glenfield
Post by: Phyth Glenfield on April 26, 2006, 07:09:23 AM
My CD is edited and ready for commenting.

"No matter where you go, there you are..."
Buckaroo Banzai



Title: Re: Phyth Glenfield
Post by: Twn Arerwn on April 27, 2006, 08:00:23 AM
Sorry for the slow reply to your EZmail Phyth. RL has been a bit hectic but I see you have come a long way on this. My comments shall be in the ever-ugly color: Orange

Strengths:
His horsemanship skills have improved greatly since he joined the Centoraurian army, and he can fire his bow between the horses steps to hit a moving target 30 peds away.
He moves silently, which is something that comes naturally to him. This helps him when he's doing his job, and doesn't want to be heard.
His training in the army taught him how to his bastard sword well, on foot or on his horse.

Weaknesses:
He is hard of hearing in his right ear, which can lead him to trouble when he has to gather information. "This could also affect him immensely if someone is trying to sneakup on him from this side."
Because of his bond with his horse, he can become depressed (even violent) when they are separated for long periods of time. "This is a very nice weakness as many times his horse will not be around him in an adventure. Though I am sure Phyth will do his best to avoid this. ;)   This could be a VERY strong weakness if RPed properly."

"You are going to need a few more weaknesses to offset his exceptional fighting skills. Yet you have integrated much of what I asked perfectly.":thumbup  

(: :The first morning after acquiring her familiar, the mage awoke with fleabites and mange.: :)

Edited by: Twen  Araerwen  at: 4/27/06 0:02


Title: Re: Phyth Glenfield
Post by: Phyth Glenfield on April 27, 2006, 10:38:23 AM
Take your time, and thank you.
I will try to give him a couple more weaknesses. And I think I'll add what you said about the first weakness.

"No matter where you go, there you are..."
Buckaroo Banzai

Edited by: Phyth Glenfield  at: 4/27/06 2:40


Title: Re: Phyth Glenfield
Post by: Pikel Thunderstone on April 28, 2006, 08:33:23 AM
Pikel's Comments, while rare, are always teh LIMEz0rs

Name: Phyth Glenfield
Gender: Male
Age: 36
Race: Human
Tribe: Centoraurian
Occupation: Mercenary
Title: Mounted Mercenary
Height: 1.95 peds Instead of the over specific decimal, i would suggest just saying "just shy of 2 peds" or some such thing. people of this day and age had no way to measure their height to that degree.
Weight: 1.85 pygges Again, maybe "just under 2 pygges"
Eye Color: Brown
Hair Color: Red

Overview:
A mercenary for hire, Phyth Glenfield roams the countryside looking for jobs of any kind. Becuase he travels so much, he has made quite a few friends. He'll do almost any job he's hired to do, for a price. He does not, however, kill people, unless they fight him, or he feels they are to dangerous to be left alive.  Lots of useless commas, and one or two spelling errors. I would suggest rephrasing the entire paragraph.

Appearance:
Half a handspan short of two peds,With this here, you do not even need to put your height at the top of the CD Phyth is a rugged looking man. He's a little taller than most Centoruarians, and his hair is red. But other than that he has the typical look of his people. He keeps his unkempt hair long (about at his shoulders), and has a scruffy beard. His eyes are a rich brown, much like the fur of his horse, and they always seem to sparkle. He has bite marks on both sides of his right forearm, where a warg grazed it with it's teeth. hmm...I should think that if the Warg merely grazed him, then those scars would have left. or at least faded. Certainly they aren't "bite marks" in the popular use of the word.

Again with the awkward phrasings.


Clothes:
Phyth dresses like most of the people in his tribe, which is mostly leather. He wears a leather shirt over a brown cotton blouse that covers his arms. He has brown pants that are made of cotton, and he wears leather riding boots that come up close to his knees. He wears a cloth cloak with a hood to keep out of the rain, and also has a leather one that he wears in the winter.

Personality:
Phyth is a cynical man, and is prone to sarcasm. First sentence is redundant. Sometimes this makes people angry at him, though he is not trying to. He's also quick to see irony in anything. Due to his profession, he mostly listens rather than speaks, which makes it hard for some people to talk to him. I find that this would be the opposite. People (especially female) often talk to listeners much more than they speak to speakers. But when he does, it's because he has a good reason to say it. Being a Centoraurian, he hates seeing people oppressed, and will even go out of his way to help them. This has landed him into trouble a few times, due to the fact that some of the oppressors were armed.

Strengths:
His horsemanship skills have improved greatly since he joined the Centoraurian army, and he can fire his bow between the horses steps to hit a moving target 30 peds away.
He moves silently, which is something that comes naturally to him. This helps him when he's doing his job, and doesn't want to be heard.
His training in the army taught him how to his bastard sword well, on foot or on his horse.

Weaknesses:
He is hard of hearing in his right ear, which can lead him to trouble when he has to gather information. It also makes it easy for someone to sneak up on him from that side.
Because of his bond with his horse, he can become depressed (even violent) when they are separated for long periods of time.
Because of his size and gear, he isn't very fast or agile. This makes him have to work harder when fighting someone smaller and more agile than him. This is not a weakness, most people do not have to fight anyways. I would merely put it as a limit to a strength. The fact that he even HAS armour (leather) should be listed in strengths.His unwillingness to kill can be a great problem for Phyth, espicially when he takes it too far. He has had a few close calls because of this. This doesn't make a whole lot of sense, and i also do not believe the unwilligness to kill someone to be a weakness. Most people would refuse to kill another person. This should be elaborated on.

As they are, your strengths overbalance your weaknesses by a significant amount. I suggest tacking on a few more solid weaknesses.

History:
Phyth was born and raised in the field of Lawapedion, in the Aurora fields. He grew up with two brothers and a sister. His father is the owner of a large estate, and has many horses roaming his land. From early on he was taught how to ride, care for, and even raise horses. When he was six he came down with an illness, which affected his right ear, making it hard to hear on his right side.

When he was old enough he worked on his father's estate, but he knew it wasn't what he wanted to do the rest of his life. His father expected Phyth to inherit the estate when he was old enough, because Phyth was his oldest son. But being a noble didn't appeal to him, and he didn't like the thought of owning his estate and doing nothing for the rest of his life.

Becuase joining the army is required to be a citizen in his tribe, Phyth joined as soon as he was old enough. His mother gave him a silver brooch when he left for the army, in the shape of a horse with wings. Phyth learned how to fight with a sword on foot and on horseback. He also learned how to use a bow in the army, and how to fire it on a horse. His good eyesight eyesight should be listed in strengths. helped him when learning how to use a bow, and he learned how to fire between the horses steps.

After spending time in the army, Phyth began to get restless, wondering what he wanted to do with his life. He remembered his father hiring some mercenaries a few years back to hunt down a horse thief. He had greatly admired them becuase they traveled a lot, and because they could do whatever they wanted. So after giving it much thought, Phyth decided he would become a mercenary, taking jobs from whoever would hire him.

He soon left the army and went home to his family. Phyth told his his family about his desire to travel. His father, however, didn't approve of his idea. He was already angry at him for wanting to leave the estate in the first place, and to him this was the last straw. Phyth tried to convince him, but his father refused to agree with him. His father disowned him, refusing to give him any money.

Angry at his father, Phyth stormed up to his room, and locked himself in. That night he left his room, took some money from his father, and walked quietly to the stables. He reached the stables, and began saddling up a horse, Iago, that Phyth had raised from a foal. Iago was his favorite horse. Phyth took his money, gear, and horse, and left his home. He vowed he would not kill, unless it was necessary. If someone asks him to kill, he usually captures the person and lets whoever hired him kill the man.

His first destination was the city of Voldar, where he hoped to find someone who would hire him at an inn. But he was not paid the way he expected in his first hunt, becuase after he reached the inn he was informed by the stable hand that his horse had been stolen by two short figures. Phyth was outraged, and immediatly went searching for her. He searched the city for days, getting more deppressed and angry each day he searched. One day he reached a neighborhood of Gnomes, when he heard a familiar neigh coming from a rundown house with a shack in the back. Sure enough, in the shack was Iago. He spotted two Gnomes in the house, looking over some goods. He broke into the house and drew his sword, meaning to kill the two Gnomes.

He realized what he was doing though, and knew it was because he had been seperated from Iago. It was the first time this had happened, but not the last. He quickly tied up the two men, and sent for the guards. They were extremly grateful, because it seemed that the goods in the house were stolen from the citizens. Phyth recieved a reward for the thieves, and the people were grateful. Word soon spread, and it helped Phyth because people were willing to hire him.

His first experience outside of South Sarvonia was a dangerous one. He was journeying to the trading town of Naurooth, in the continent of Northern Sarvonia. The first thing he noticed was that it was cold. Growing up in south Sarvonia, he hadn't felt that cold ever. Second, he was hopelessly lost. After wandering around for a while he came in sight of some mountains, and he recalled them being the mountains of Oro. Now knowing where he was, he began to head north-east. HOw did he get INTO northern sarvonia? I would mention this. note: walking or traveling by foot is impossible.

Suddenly a short distance away he began to hear screaming. He rode quickly to discover who it was, and soon he reached a caravan of what appeared to be merchants. They were surrounded by a pack of wargs, and no one had any weapons to defend themselves with. Phyth charged in on his horse, shooting one warg dead with his bow. He quickly jumped off his horse and drew his blade. Phyth killed the warg that was closest to him, and they began to retreat. But before he could stab at a third, the warg brought down his mouth and grazed Phyth's arm. It might have been the end of him there, except the people started yelling, distracting the warg long enough for him to kill it.

Exausted from the fighting and his wound, Phyth immediatly fainted. The merchants took him to Naurooth, which was their destination also. When they reached Naurooth, the merchants left him in the home of an elderly couple to care for his wound. After he was well enough to walk around, he found that the merchants had already left, but they had left him a gift. It was a sheath for his sword, inlaid with silver. The couple told him it was very valuable. As soon as he was well enough, Phyth paid the couple for their troubles, and left North Sarvonia.

He has been traveling across the countryside, mostly staying in South Sarvonia, until gradually his wealth grows to more than he can carry. He makes a trip up to Naurooth town to leave his money with his friends when it does. He has never spoken to his father since he left, but still hopes to someday. In his travels he has made lots of friends, and also many enemies.

Weapons:
Phyth wields a bastard sword that his father gave him when he began his training. He also has a shortbow and a quiver of arrows. He has a Centoraurian shortsword that he keeps strapped to his saddle, where he can reach it easily.

Belongings:
He has a sack of money that he keeps under his leather shirt next to his chest. He also has a silver brooch on his cloak that his mother gave him, in the shape of a horse with wings. A pack is on the back of his saddle, which has some food, blankets, and gear for his horse in it. He has a valuable sheath for his sword, inlaid with silver.

Familiars:
His horse, Iago. Iago is a medium sized mare. Her hair is a dark brown, with a white stripe down her nose. She can be a bit stubborn, but always helps Phyth out of a jam. He shares a strong bond with her, and gets depressed when they are seperated for a long time. I would elaborate more on the relationship of the horse and your character, as well as the personality of the horse.

Good CD, just a few things here and there that should be addressed. My main concern is your strengths and weaknesses.



**DISCLAIMER** I apologize to anyone I may have offended in the above post. I would like to assure you that was (most likely) not my goal. I would also like to assure you that the above post (again, most likely) in no way reflects the views of the Santharian boards or their webmaster, Artimidor Federkiel.



Title: Re: Phyth Glenfield
Post by: Twn Arerwn on April 28, 2006, 09:09:23 AM
Pikel, the decimals are once again being asked to be placed in the CDs. But outside of that go with Pikel's comments as he is a very knowledgeable person to take advice from. I have placed the pencil icon up for you once again Phyth, just return the exclamation mark when you have finished your edits.

(: :The first morning after acquiring her familiar, the mage awoke with fleabites and mange.: :)



Title: Re: Phyth Glenfield
Post by: Pikel Thunderstone on April 28, 2006, 09:11:23 AM
i know that the decimals weren't banned, i just suggest using the word way because in my opinion it fits the medieval setting a bit more...i was by no means demanding it.



**DISCLAIMER** I apologize to anyone I may have offended in the above post. I would like to assure you that was (most likely) not my goal. I would also like to assure you that the above post (again, most likely) in no way reflects the views of the Santharian boards or their webmaster, Artimidor Federkiel.



Title: Re: Phyth Glenfield
Post by: Twn Arerwn on April 28, 2006, 08:15:23 AM
Hehe I am sorry if this was confusing to you Pikel. But decimals uptop and Santharian measurements in the description are the preference now. Why? I unno, I comment not make the rules.;)  

(: :The first morning after acquiring her familiar, the mage awoke with fleabites and mange.: :)

Edited by: Twen  Araerwen  at: 4/28/06 0:28


Title: Re: Phyth Glenfield
Post by: Twn Arerwn on April 30, 2006, 09:19:23 AM
I see absolutely nothing wrong with your CD. His strengths and weaknesses are close to being balanced yet with his age I do not see them as overly unequal. I shall give you your first approval, but I would ask for the next mod to look over the S&Ws and confirm or deny my thoughts. ~goes to put the +~

(: :The first morning after acquiring her familiar, the mage awoke with fleabites and mange.: :)



Title: Re: Phyth Glenfield
Post by: Pikel Thunderstone on April 30, 2006, 11:37:23 AM
I still do not think the character is balanced. most of his weaknesses revolve around him having a horse, and the horse is itself a strength. I think a little more severe weaknesses should be brought in before the character is titled. But that is just my opinion/



**DISCLAIMER** I apologize to anyone I may have offended in the above post. I would like to assure you that was (most likely) not my goal. I would also like to assure you that the above post (again, most likely) in no way reflects the views of the Santharian boards or their webmaster, Artimidor Federkiel.



Title: Re: Phyth Glenfield
Post by: Phyth Glenfield on April 30, 2006, 11:01:23 AM
If you think my CD doesn't have enough strong weaknesses, I can add some more. While not having anything to do with his horse.

"No matter where you go, there you are..."
Buckaroo Banzai

Edited by: Phyth Glenfield  at: 4/30/06 3:02


Title: Re: Phyth Glenfield
Post by: Twn Arerwn on April 30, 2006, 02:01:23 PM
Then please do Phyth:)  

(: :The first morning after acquiring her familiar, the mage awoke with fleabites and mange.: :)



Title: Re: Phyth Glenfield
Post by: Phyth Glenfield on May 01, 2006, 05:24:23 AM
I've put on a couple more weaknesses. If it's not enough I can think of a few more. Thanks.

"No matter where you go, there you are..."
Buckaroo Banzai



Title: Re: Phyth Glenfield
Post by: Pikel Thunderstone on May 01, 2006, 06:03:23 AM
Your character is pretty close to balanced i would think, one more Weakness would do it. But make sure it is a weakness that can be roleplayed....something that would actually affect your playing.



**DISCLAIMER** I apologize to anyone I may have offended in the above post. I would like to assure you that was (most likely) not my goal. I would also like to assure you that the above post (again, most likely) in no way reflects the views of the Santharian boards or their webmaster, Artimidor Federkiel.



Title: Re: Phyth Glenfield
Post by: Phyth Glenfield on May 01, 2006, 11:15:23 AM
I have added another weakness. I hope it will work. If not, I can add another. Thanks for helping me.

"No matter where you go, there you are..."
Buckaroo Banzai



Title: Re: Phyth Glenfield
Post by: Kalna Dal'isyrs on May 01, 2006, 11:33:23 PM
Actually - I would add a bit more about the bad hearing in the right ear. That can be a severe weakness, especially as a fighter. Expand on it just a little bit more.

You are titled but the CD won't move until that is finished. Also, remove the color from your cd when you are done editing. Thank you.



The Santharian Dream ~ Role Playing Basics
Character Creation Guide ~ Restrictions and Age Calculator



Title: Re: Phyth Glenfield
Post by: Phyth Glenfield on May 02, 2006, 12:38:23 AM
I have edited my CD. Thanks to all who helped.

"No matter where you go, there you are..."
Buckaroo Banzai



Title: Re: Phyth Glenfield, Centoraurian Mercenary
Post by: Phyth Glenfield on May 09, 2007, 12:35:03 PM
And done. I was going to just elaborate on the horse, but I figured it wouldn't be good if I described the horse more than Phyth, so I added a bit more to the appearance, clothes, and personality. Everything is good to go on my end.


Title: Re: Phyth Glenfield, Centoraurian Mercenary
Post by: Simonne Miller on May 09, 2007, 06:00:45 PM
All right, I don't see anything wrong with what you've added and, concerning the rest of the CD, I'm assuming that the mods gave you a title for a reason when you first created this character, so I'll move you back to the archives :)