Adventures of Caelereth

Archives => Approved Characters Archive II => Topic started by: Tiras The White Rose on July 14, 2006, 02:53:23 PM



Title: Tiras The White Rose: Erpheronian, Thief
Post by: Tiras The White Rose on July 14, 2006, 02:53:23 PM
Name: Tiras
Gender: Male
Age: 30
Race: Human
Tribe: Erpheronian
Occupation: Thief , charlatan anything that puts money in his pockets and women in his bed .
Title: The White Rose

Appearance:
Tiras has a slender and well-toned body due to his heritage. He is quite tall, standing at 1.85 peds. His hair is fire red in colour, and quite long for a Erpheronian, reaching the middle of his back that he uses in a ponytail. His skin is tanned because of the long days by the sun while his eyes are deep green in colour that seem to spark with mischief. Many consider him so handsome that claim that his face was sculptured by an artist.

Clothes:
Tiras believes  people first look to what one wears and so takes special care of his clothes .
When in town , trying to expand his contacts in high society as well a pretty girl name and address usually one can see Tiras using his magnific suit made of the whitest silk with a cape of  red cotton and comfortable shoes made of the same material.
He also uses a wide brimmed floppy hat set at a jaunty angle, and seems to enjoy the flamboyance of his 'part'.

However when travelling , Tiras prefers a more comfortable clothes , he uses a plain brown shirt with a red jacket and black pants with leather boots .


Personality:
Tiras is a free spirit , a man that seems to attract danger and is drawn to it like a moth is drawn to the fire.
You might trust your life to him, but not your woman, or your purse.
Naturally born with the ability to deceive and to entice women into what he wants , Tiras had become a confident and proud man , fully aware of what he can or not do .

Often thought of as a seducer, he much preferred to consider himself the object of female desire. He believed himself in love with many of the beautiful women he pursued, and, treated them as his equal and remained dear friends with them long after the affairs ended.

Strenghts:
Amazing agility and speed - Tiras is amazingly fast for a human , some say that necessity brings out the very best in people, years of running away and dodging stones and arrows throwed from angry husbands, fathers and brothers of women he deflowered or cheated just made him that , very fast .

Charasmatic - Many people are charasmatic , but Tiras has made his gift into an art , a little smile , a gentle touch in a girl hand and they become completely surrendered to him .

Skilled Duelist - Like all Erpheronians , Tiras received training in swordmanship , a thing that although repulsed him , became evident that he had some skill with it .
Dispite not being as skilled as a full trained warrior , Tiras is capable of defending moderaly against most of his enemies

Weaknesses:

Danger Addict - Tiras just cannot avoid to been drawn to danger , if offered two paths which one is safe and the other not , not only will he take the unsafe one , but will try to make it as changeling as possible . Everything in Tiras eyes is an opportunity to test himself .

Women - Ah the fairer sex ... they always had a special place in Tiras heart , and if asked for help , he will go through this and the next world to help them ( metaphorically speaking of course  ) even if it means to put his body in line .

Fame - The White Rose , the name that makes women´s heart go a little faster with delight , and men mumble with repressed hate and envy .
In his quest to be known , Tiras had become an infamous legend among the common population , the man who had slept more woman in a single night that some had in a lifetime.
This had made him one of the most wanted man .

Items:
Tiras is a lover not a warrior , so he has little use for weapons ( unless one considers his smile such ... ) , except for his sword .
This sword althought quite attractive to look at , it is really more for show than for use .

History:
Ever since his birth , Tiras was destined for greatness.
Born in one of the wealthiest families and being the only son , everyone taught that lady luck had smilled at our hero .

Tiras was brought up to sucede in the family businness ,to be a merchant as his father and so trained by the best masters that money could buy , Tiras learned etiquette , as well as economics and languages .

But the greatest lesson he could learn , he learned it in the less recomended districts of the town , as young as 12 , Tiras began to notice his natural charm , the way the girls , even older ones looked at this strange red haired boy , that seemed to enthrall them with his impish eyes.

It was during these secret "voyages" that he met the man that was to be his greatest friend as well as his mentor , Eldrich.
Eldrich was a bard , a stunning 22 blonde years old man , whom Tiras began to follow and Eldrich was impressed by the way of how a 14 years old boy ( Tiras was this age when he met Eldrich ) could persuade women to do his way , a thing most older and so called "women man " could not brag .

Life did follow his course for our Tiras , and while the long lessons in school and his father strictness began to bring him to the brink of boredom , Tiras did continue his studies of economics and to frequent the dull parties the his father insisted him to go .

It was by the time he was 16 , that the life of Tiras had a 180 degrees spin .
It all began the day Marcus came to town . He was like Tiras father a wealthy merchant whose past was a complete mystery to everyone .
Tiras father and Marcus were competitors , what one did , the other would soon follow and did better , no one could explain how the two could hate so much each other , but the truth was that they did .

Marcus, tired of his opponent, elaborated a plan to put him into ruin. This plan succeded and Tiras's father lost everything he had. Tiras's father became highly depressed and melacholic. Shortly thereafter, Tiras's father put and end to life by committing suicide.

Tiras was alone , having lost his mother ( died giving birth to him) and father , and without any other familly , Tiras was persuaded by Eldrich to travel with him , and Tiras agreed making a vow that he would return and have revenge on Marcus .
During his voyages with Eldrich surviving thanks to his skills as a bard , Tiras learned and tasted the best life had to offer , money , drinks and of course women married or not .

In the city of Voldar he stayed for 3 years learning the basics of thievery, including pickpocket .
After that he spent the next 7 years polishing his once raw skills into a truly wonderfull gift , an art.


Tiras having now 26 years old , made the decision that was time to return to his hometown , had said a most painfull goodbye to Eldrich he left .

The city hadn´t change much since he left , but he didn´t returned for sightseeing , he had returned for vengeance , and he did find Marcus
Killing him was not enought , he had to hit him where it hurts the most , but where ? was the question Tiras made again and again ...

Having learned that Marcus had a daughter and that he loved more than anything in this world , a mischeveous smile just flourished in Tiras lips , Anna , that was her name , was engaged to a noble man , and knowing the tradition of this sort of arrangement, that the bride has to pure to the weeding night , Tiras taught to himself , what better and pleasurable way to having his revenge to steal Marcus daughter honor ?

First he earned Marcus trust , using his charm to make him believe that he was a wealthy merchant from a faraway town , 10 years having passed Marcus didn´t recognized Tiras .
Tiras was patient , slowly he was accepted as Marcus friend and invited to spent a time in his manor , and having accomplished that , it was time to pass to the second part of the plan , to seduce Anna .
And what an easy thing that was for Tiras , she was an innocent girl that had been secluded from the world in her studies .

After the night of passion and pleasure of both , Anna was sleeping ,and Marcus , that meanwhile had awoken by a message tied to a rock throwed through his window , that said just four words Go to Tiras room .
Marcus was speachless as he found Anna naked , alone in Tiras bed with only a white rose by it and a message The White Rose had his revenge .

Tiras fleeing into the night nobody knew who he was, but he didn´t care.
For him all that matters was that The White Rose legend had just begun .



Quote:
Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.     Billy Crystal (1947 - )

Edited by: Kalina Merenwen at: 8/12/06 4:38


Title: Re: Tiras The White Rose
Post by: Vesk Lyricahl on July 15, 2006, 03:13:23 AM
Welcome to Santharia, I'm absolutely loving what you have so far.:biggrin  Finally, a male prostitute! Well... not exactly a prostitute but close enough.:p  Anyway, the only comment I have at the moment is your account name. While there is nothing wrong with it, as it does match the name of your character, I think it would look better if it were only his name, as "The White Rose" will also be his title and will thus be below his name. You wouldn't want to be redunant.;)  



Title: Re: Tiras The White Rose
Post by: Tiras The White Rose on July 18, 2006, 04:09:23 PM
Finally my cd is over .

Of course opinions and critics are welcome

Edited by: Tiras The White Rose  at: 7/18/06 8:23


Title: Re: Tiras The White Rose
Post by: Ta'lia of the Seven Jewels on July 18, 2006, 08:13:23 PM
Tiras, both your avatar and your sig are too big, please look on top of the forum to "Portrait"

***Astropic of the day***
"For me there is only the traveling on paths that have heart, on any path   that may have heart. There I travel, and the only worthwhile challenge is to traverse its full length. And there I travel looking, looking, breathlessly. ~Don Juan"
***The Santharian Dream***



Title: Re: Tiras The White Rose
Post by: Ta'lia of the Seven Jewels on July 18, 2006, 08:51:23 PM
Name: Tiras
Gender: Male
Age: 30
Race: Human
Tribe: Erpheronian
Occupation: Thief , charlatan anything that puts money in his pockets and women in his bed .
Title: The White Rose

Appearance:
Tiras has a slender and well-toned body due to his heritage. He is quite tall, standing at 1.85 peds. Please avoid decimals His hair is pure white in colour, and quite long for a Erpheronian, reaching the middle of his back that he uses in a ponytail. His skin is tanned because of the long days by the sun while his eyes are deep green in colour that seem to spark with mischief. Many consider him so handsome that claim that his face was sculptured by an artist.
Why is your hair white? Erpheronians have commonly a reddish or reddish-brown hair colour


Clothes:
Tiras believes that people first look to what one wears and so takes special care of his clothes .
Usually one can see Tiras using his magnific suit made of the whitest silk with a cape of of red cotton and confortable shoes made of the same material.
He also uses a wide brimmed floppy hat set at a jaunty angle, and seems to enjoy the flamboyance of his 'part'.
As an Erpheronian you should dress like one, if not, explain why not. you clothes are not very suitable for travelling and thieving


Personality:
Tiras is a free spirit , a man that seems to attract danger and is drawn to it like a moth is drawn to the fire.
You might trust your life to him, but not your woman, or your purse.
Naturaly born with the ability to deceive and to entice women into what he wants , Tiras had become a confident and proud man , fully aware of what he can or not do .
Your personality is the most important part of your char, you need to know him well to play him well, think of a bit more.

Strenghts:
Amazing agility and speed - Tiras is amazingly fast for a human , some say that necessity brings out the very best in people, years of running away and dodging stones and arrows throwed from angry husbands, fathers and brothers of women he deflowered or cheated just made him that , very fast .

Charasmatic - Many people are charasmatic , but Tiras has made his gift into a art , a little smile , a gentle touch in a girl hand and they become completely surrendered to him .

Skilled Knife Thrower - The life of Tiras is a dangerous one , and he knew that without knowing a thing or two about weapons he couldn´t survive for long , so he tried to learn swordmanship , however not being the warrior type , he just couldn´t learn how to handle a sword .
It was by chance that he met a Knife Thrower that worked in a circus , and with his supervising , Tiras after training day and night long months became quite skilled at this art ,
As an Erpheronian, you should have learned some swordskills as a boy. You didn‘t say a word of tis circus in your history!

Weaknesses:

Danger Addict - Tiras just cannot avoid to been drawn to danger , if offered two paths which one is safe and the other not , not only will he take the unsafe one , but will try to make it as changeling ??as possible . Everything in Tiras eyes is a opportunity to test himself .

Women - Ah the fairer sex ... they always had a special place in Tiras heart , and if asked for help , he will go through this and the next world to help them ( metaphorically speaking of course :)  ) even if means to put his body in line .

Fame - The White Rose , the name that make women´s heart go a little faster with delight , and men mumble with repressed hate and envy .
In his quest to be known , Tiras had become an infamous legend between the common population , the man who had slept more woman in a single night that some had in a lifetime.
This had made him one of the most wanted man .

Items:
Tiras is a lover not a warrior , so he has little use for weapons ( unless one considers his smile such ...;)  ) , with the exception of his throwing knifes that he uses in a set of six at his belt.
This knifes are very small , easly concealed until the time presents himself .




History:
Every since his birth , Tiras was destined for greatness.
Born in one of the wealthiest families and being the only son , everyone taught that lady luck had smilled at our hero .

Tiras was brought up to sucede in the family businness , being trained by the best masters that money could buy , Tiras learned etiquette , as well as economics and languages .
And what was the family buisiness?

But the greatest lesson he could learn , he learned it in the less recomended districts of the town . As young as 12 , Tiras began to notice his natural charm , the way the girls , even older ones looked at this strange white haired boy , that seemed to enthrall them with his impish eyes.

It was during these secret "voyages" that he met the man that was to be his greatest friend as well as his mentor , Eldrich.
Eldrich was a bard , a stunning 22 blonde years old man , whom Tiras began to follow and Eldrich was impressed by the way of how a 14 years old boy ( Tiras was this age when he met Eldrich ) could convince women to do What to do? , a thing most older and so called "women man " could not brag .

check spelling and sentence structure!

Life did follow his course for our Tiras , and while the long lessons and his father strictness began to bring him to the brink of boredom , Tiras did continue his studies and to frequent the dull parties the his father insisted him to go .
Which lessons, which studies?

It was by the time he was 16 , that the life of Tiras had a 180 degrees spin .
Unmedieval ex-pression)
It all began the day Marcus came to town . He  was like Tiras father a wealthy merchant whose past was a complete mystery to everyone .
Tiras father and Marcus were competitors , what one did , the other would soon follow and did better , no one could explain how the two could hate so much each other , but the truth was that they did .

Marcus tired of his opponent elaborated a plan to put him into ruin , a plan that succeded and Tiras father lost everything he got , highly depressed and melacholic , he put a end to his life , comitting suicide .

Tiras was alone , having lost his mother ( died giving birth to him) and father , and without any other familly , Tiras was convinced by Eldrich to travel with him , and Tiras agreed making a vow that he would return and have revenge on Marcus .
During his voyages with Eldrich , Tiras learned and tasted the best life had to offer , money , drinks and of course women married or not .
In this 10 years polished his once raw skills into a truly wonderfull gift , an art.
Tiras having now 26 years old , made the decision that was time to return to his hometown , had said a most painfull goodbye to Eldrich he left .
Of what did he life during his travels? You need to LEARN the art of thievry first!
Where has he been?


The city hadn´t change much since he left , but he didn´t returned for sightseeing , he had returned for vengeance , and he did find Marcus
Killing him was not enought , he had to hit him where it hurts the most , but where ? was the question Tiras made again and again ...

Having learned that Marcus had a daughter and that he loved her more than anything in this world , a mischeveous smile just flourished in Tiras lips , Anna , that was her name , was to be married to a noble man , and knowing the tradition of this sort of marriage, that the bride has to pure to the weeding night , Tiras taught to himself , what better and pleasurable way to having his revenge to steal Marcus daughter honor ?
watch your spelling and sentence structure, don‘t forget, that there are such things as full stops. If the girl is already married, she is surely not longer virgin, you mean engaged

First he earned Marcus trust , using his charm sweet talk ?? to make him believe that he was a wealthy merchant from a faraway town , ten years having passed  Marcus didn´t recognized Tiras .
Tiras was patient , slowly he was accepted as Marcus friend and invited to spent a time in his manor , and having accomplished that , it was time to pass to the second part of the plan , to seduce Anna .
And what an easy thing that was for Tiras , she was an innocent girl that had been secluded from the world due to her studies .

After the night of passion and pleasure for tiras? Anna was sleeping ,and Marcus , who in the meantime had awoken by a message in a rock throwed through his window , that said just four words Go to Tiras room .
a message IN a rock? Sentence is illogical!
Marcus was speachless as he found Anna naked , alone in Tiras bed with only a white rose by the bed and a message The White Rose had his revenge .

Tiras fleeing into the night , The White Rose legend had just begun .

Marcus surely doesn‘t know, that „The white Rose“ is the son of the man he ruined ten years ago. Then, the father can always hide the fact, that Anna is no virgin anymore..

To your language skills:
Especially if you are no native speaker, you need to take more care of your language. There are enough things you will miss anyway! Do a spellcheck and then go over your submission not only one time, but the next day again to find your mistakes. This is a plain courtesy to those who have to comment on your char. You spoil your nice story with not putting enough effort in your language. Has the potential to become a nice char! :)


***Astropic of the day***
"For me there is only the traveling on paths that have heart, on any path   that may have heart. There I travel, and the only worthwhile challenge is to traverse its full length. And there I travel looking, looking, breathlessly. ~Don Juan"
***The Santharian Dream***



Title: Re: Tiras The White Rose
Post by: Ta'lia of the Seven Jewels on July 18, 2006, 08:54:23 PM
Please color your changes! (Not the wrong spelling or rearranging of the sentences)

***Astropic of the day***
"For me there is only the traveling on paths that have heart, on any path   that may have heart. There I travel, and the only worthwhile challenge is to traverse its full length. And there I travel looking, looking, breathlessly. ~Don Juan"
***The Santharian Dream***



Title: Re: Tiras The White Rose
Post by: Tiras The White Rose on July 19, 2006, 11:12:23 AM
Aye Talia thx for your comments .
My spelling mistakes is no excuse , even though english is not my first language , but this not being my first cd in this site , i should had known better .

Again thx for you time and patience ..

Try to improve , just wait all !!!

Hide your daughters , The White rose will return !!!

Edited by: Tiras The White Rose  at: 7/19/06 4:04


Title: Re: Tiras The White Rose
Post by: Ta'lia of the Seven Jewels on July 19, 2006, 04:29:23 PM
Tiras, no time to go a second time over your changes, but shall I make your sig and avatar smaller?

***Astropic of the day***
"For me there is only the traveling on paths that have heart, on any path   that may have heart. There I travel, and the only worthwhile challenge is to traverse its full length. And there I travel looking, looking, breathlessly. ~Don Juan"
***The Santharian Dream***



Title: Re: Tiras The White Rose
Post by: Tiras The White Rose on July 20, 2006, 02:23:23 AM
Ah sorry Talia , my cd  revision is not at all finished  so do not bother to comment , but i will be most gratefull if you can indeed  make my sig and avatar smaller .



Title: Re: Tiras The White Rose
Post by: Ta'lia of the Seven Jewels on July 20, 2006, 05:01:23 AM
Then you should not set the exclamation mark, but the pencil, I switch it back for you.

***Astropic of the day***
"For me there is only the traveling on paths that have heart, on any path   that may have heart. There I travel, and the only worthwhile challenge is to traverse its full length. And there I travel looking, looking, breathlessly. ~Don Juan"
***The Santharian Dream***



Title: Re: Tiras The White Rose
Post by: Ta'lia of the Seven Jewels on July 20, 2006, 05:16:23 AM
Tiras, I don't know, if you like how your sig turned out. I had to cut the last line, for otherwise it would not have ben readable at all. 70 pixel is not much. Maybe you just keep the whole image in your CD and the sig as sig..



***Astropic of the day***
"For me there is only the traveling on paths that have heart, on any path   that may have heart. There I travel, and the only worthwhile challenge is to traverse its full length. And there I travel looking, looking, breathlessly. ~Don Juan"
***The Santharian Dream***



Title: Re: Tiras The White Rose
Post by: Ta'lia of the Seven Jewels on July 20, 2006, 05:17:23 AM
And here the URLs

[img noborder]www.stuff.santharia.com/r...g.jpg[/img]

[img noborder]www.stuff.santharia.com/r...r.jpg[/img]

***Astropic of the day***
"For me there is only the traveling on paths that have heart, on any path   that may have heart. There I travel, and the only worthwhile challenge is to traverse its full length. And there I travel looking, looking, breathlessly. ~Don Juan"
***The Santharian Dream***



Title: Re: Tiras The White Rose
Post by: Tiras The White Rose on July 21, 2006, 10:20:23 AM
Right made some changes accordingly to Talia sugestion .

Open for comments and approval as always .

Edited by: Tiras The White Rose  at: 7/22/06 1:53


Title: Re: Tiras The White Rose: Erpheronian, Thief
Post by: Kareesh Valendar on July 24, 2006, 06:51:23 AM
Some real quick comments.

First of all:

Quote:

Marcus tired of his opponent elaborated a plan to put him into ruin , a plan that succeded and Tiras father lost everything he got , highly depressed and melacholic , he put a end to his life , comitting suicide .


You might wanna make that sentence a bit more...understandable. I read it and thought that Marcus was the one that committed suicide, not Tiras's father.

Also, I noticed that a lot of your sentences in the History section had some grammer issues. I don't really have time right now to point them all out, but yeah, just go over them again.

Last thing, explain more why Marcus and Tiras were competitors. I mean, did something Marcus do set that off or what? Just a little more explination would be nice.

Overall, good job even though personally I don't like the character. (But, that doesn't really matter, ya know. I just don't really like people like this). Keep up the good work and you'll be approved before long...I think.....




Title: Re: Tiras The White Rose: Erpheronian, Thief
Post by: Tiras The White Rose on July 26, 2006, 11:54:23 AM
Ah dear Kareesh , it pains greatly  that you don´t like me ....

But thx for your comments , it was a great help , opinions and critics are always welcome .

Well lets get back to editing ...

Edited by: Tiras The White Rose  at: 7/26/06 3:54


Title: Re: Tiras The White Rose: Erpheronian, Thief
Post by: Tiras The White Rose on July 28, 2006, 03:24:23 PM
Ah finally finished .

Now waiting first approval , hopefully .





Title: Re: Tiras The White Rose: Erpheronian, Thief
Post by: Kareesh Valendar on July 29, 2006, 01:52:23 AM
*pokie* You didn't change one of the things that I pointed out.

Quote:
Marcus tired of his opponent elaborated a plan to put him into ruin , a plan that succeded and Tiras father lost everything he got , highly depressed and melacholic , he put a end to his life , comitting suicide .


To me, I can't really tell that it's Tiras's father that commited suicide. To me, either Marcus or Tiras is the one who died. Perhaps write it like this:

Marcus, tired of his opponent, elaborated a plan to put in into ruin. This plan succeded and Tiras's father lost everything he had. Tiras's father became highly depressed and melacholic. Shortly thereafter, Tiras's father put and end to life by committing suicide.

Sure, it's a bit longer, but I think that it gets the point across a little bit better.

Hope that helps. G'luck. ^_^




Title: Re: Tiras The White Rose: Erpheronian, Thief
Post by: Kareesh Valendar on July 30, 2006, 07:52:23 PM
Whoops, I just noticed a typo in my thingy....It should read ...elaborated a plan to him (or them, up to you) into ruin.

So, ya, you might wanna change that.  




Title: Re: Tiras The White Rose: Erpheronian, Thief
Post by: Vesk Lyricahl on August 02, 2006, 06:34:23 AM
Grammar issues aside (I would suggest checking your spelling and grammar throughout the entire CD, but don't use Word's grammar check unless you're familiar with English grammar as it will lie to you!:p ), this is indeed a well written char, one I happen to like. Reminds me of a certain thrice married fool wont to fall in love with any and all fair maidens.8)  With pleasure I grant the first approval, but please remember to check your grammar, particularly the structure of your sentences.



Title: Re: Tiras The White Rose: Erpheronian, Thief
Post by: Tiras The White Rose on August 02, 2006, 06:46:23 PM
Why , thank you Vesk for your quick reply and approval.

I made the sugested grammar check and now i await for the second approval ....



Title: Re: Tiras The White Rose: Erpheronian, Thief
Post by: Pikel Thunderstone on August 12, 2006, 05:12:23 AM
I love this character. I really must say that.

My only real issue is this: I would like to see personality expanded upon, but that is a minor thing that can be done at a later date after some RPing

Welcome to your second Approval ;)  



**DISCLAIMER** I apologize to anyone I may have offended in the above post. I would like to assure you that was (most likely) not my goal. I would also like to assure you that the above post (again, most likely) in no way reflects the views of the Santharian boards or their webmaster, Artimidor Federkiel



Title: Re: Tiras The White Rose: Erpheronian, Thief
Post by: Tiras The White Rose on August 12, 2006, 06:07:23 AM
Alright !!! Second Approval !

Many Thx Pikel...

Looking forward to roleplay with Tiras



Title: Re: Tiras The White Rose: Erpheronian, Thief
Post by: Kalína Dalá'isyrás on January 01, 1970, 09:00:00 AM
Post here to  make sure it works

Congratulations ^^



The Santharian Dream ~ Role Playing Basics
Character Creation Guide ~ Restrictions and Age Calculator



Title: Re: Tiras The White Rose: Erpheronian, Thief
Post by: Tiras The White Rose on August 12, 2006, 09:07:23 PM
Testing....