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Author Topic: Dreánis Amelia - Maeverhim - Wanderer, Trader  (Read 4744 times)
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Dreánis Almenia
Earthburned Wanderer
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Gender: Male
Posts: 20


Elf, Maeverhim


« on: December 05, 2006, 09:17:24 AM »

If the name sounds familiar it's because I used to be a member of Santharia, way, way, way back :P. Anyway, hope it's good, enjoy! ^.^

Name: Dreánis Ámelia

Occupation: Trader, Wanderer

Gender: Male

Race: Elf

Tribe: Maeverhim

Age: 145 Lifespan: 500

Height: 2 peds, 1 palmspan (7')

Weight: 1 pygge, 8 hebs

Eye Color: Blue

Hair Color: Black, with pigments of Green

Character Portrait: See avatar.

Title: Earthburned Wanderer

Description
The once joyful gleam of the Maeverhim is long gone from Dreánis' swirling blue eyes, only a deep sadness fills his once playful gaze. Beneath that sadness is a violent rage boiling just below the surface, always clawing at the surface, always trying to get out. One looking into his gaze can sometimes catch glimpses of this rage. He appears to be roughly 25 years old in human years, like his people he has an almost child-like facial structure despite his towering height. This appearance belies the wisdom of many years spent in the world which is clear in his eyes. His thin lips rarely ever curl into the smile that once adorned their pale surface, now they usually remain in a cruel, wicked line of solemn quietness. Elegant, sleek strands of jet black hair fall down across his shoulders, the strands fall even further just barely grazing the small of his back. His hair is streaked with a dark green pigment. He has an almost grim face, though it shows signs of once being childish and giddy, memories of playing amongst the canopy vivid on his face. His thin, graceful facial structure would be almost serene if it weren't for the haunting sadness in his eyes. He has an aquiline nose, it is thin and elegant.

A black necklace drapes around his long, slender neck, it consists of many threads woven around each other to make a thin cord that drapes around his collar bone. A baggy dark green cloth tunic flows in folds off his elegant shoulders to hang about his slender frame, the long sleeves of this tunic flare out around his hands as if to engulf them. The tunic drapes about loosely around his lower torso over-lapping the top of his loose cloth pants. The cloth that once extended from the sleeves attaching them to the torso of the tunic is tattered and barely remains in some places, it hangs in threads off the sleeves. Almost all of the material is gone leaving behind only remains of what were once wing-like appendages. Similar to the piece around his neck he wears three bracelets on each arm.

At the small of his back is an intricately crafted leather sheath for a long-bladed dagger he wields in close-combat situations. The leather of the sheath is black with leather straps attaching it to the back of his belt, intricate, bird-like symbols are carved into the surface of the leather. The dagger itself is simple, steel with a black hilt and gold hand-guard. Slung over his shoulder or across his chest is his longbow of Maeverhim design, it's the color of oak and has the elvish words for "Earthburned" carved into the wood.

He wears a simple black, cloth belt to hold up his baggy black cloth pants, hanging along his right side from this belt is a leather quiver of tan complexion stuffed with arrows. The belt is simple and effective, made of sturdy black cloth it fits his elegant waist firmly, it has a simple silver buckle. From this belt flows baggy black cloth pants that hang off his waist to absorb his legs, they hang in many folds around his long, elegant legs with the bottoms flaring out around his feet. Similar to all Maeverhim he has naturally black nails, both finger and toe, but unlike other Maeverhim he has come accustomed to trimming them, so even though they're slightly longer then an average person's they are considerably shorter in length compared to a Maeverhim's.

Personality
Dreánis is a... complicated fellow for lack of a better term. Most of the time he appears to have an almost child-like disposition, he's in by no means innocent mind you, but his mannerisms are childish and giddy. He loves jokes, games, and stories, but there is always that sadness lurking beneath the surface of his childish act. There are times when the giddy, fun-loving side of him gives way to the sulking, sad side of him, it leaves him in a pouty or aggravated mood. He hates being sad but he can't help it for often he is struck with a crippling yearning to return to Sharadon forest and live among the canopy of the trees again. He knows he cannot return, for he is "Earthburned", an outcast in all meanings of the term, of course this doesn't comfort the home-sickness he feels at certain moments.

Despite his child-like disposition he is by no means innocent or naive, he has wandered ever since being cast out of his tribe and has seen the world's all too gruesome underground. He has witnessed many atrocities and horrible acts, many of which still haunt his dreams at night waking him from a fitful sleep in a sudden glimpse of past terror. He hates these dreams above everything else, for they remind him how cruel people can be when he wants to believe everyone is kind hearted. Dreánis has a burning curiosity, more so then most people it can take control of him and drive him to discover the most he can about what intrigues him. This curiosity is the reason he was outcast from his tribe and he despises this aspect of himself, but he can't help but wonder what he'll find out next when he's driven by the curiosity.

Dreánis is quick-witted and wiry when he has to be, he's quiet capable of moving silently if the need arose and he's even more capable of taking a life if he, or someone he cares for, is threatened. He has no qaulm about killing another living creature, though he'd rather avoid it all together he has accepted that in this world it's an inevitability he must accept to survive.

There is something else hidden beneath the child-like surface of Dreánis though, a violent rage that manifested when he was outcast by the tribe, because of the way they shunned him and turned away from him. It's not a sudden rage that overcomes him, it occurs in specific moments, often when he is being threatened or treated badly, it reminds him of when he was outcast and can cause a sudden, violent outburst.

Strenghts
Dreánis is very observant of his surroundings. Decades of travelling and adventuring with various companions of shady and noble backgrounds have left him with a multitude of training, mostly for combat situations if he cannot avoid them entirely. He has a sharp eye for detail and rarely misses what goes on around him, though he's not very good with names he can instantly remember what someone looks like, though if you ask him to draw it you're out of luck, he's not much of an artist..Dreánis is very agile for his towering height, his elegant body structure gives him excellent flexibility, and his long legs give him decent top running speed. He's very adapt up in the tree tops and can move stealthily even through the thickest canopies, of course this skill has lessened considerably since he lived with his tribe. Dreánis is very skilled with the bow and dagger, though he prefers to avoid conflict all together. When that fails he relies on his sharp eye and quickness with the bow, or his agile elegance with the dagger.

Weaknesses
His child-like disposition and love of jokes usually get him into mischief and trouble with authoritative figures. His aversion to violence usually causes him some problems as many people he has met in this world haven't been fond of his jokes or games, which usually involve humiliating them in some way, so many have tried to take a chunk out of him. Though they rarely succeed thanks to his quickness and agile build, not to mention his skill with both bow and dagger. He's still slightly naive, he knows there are gruesome and cruel people out there, but he still likes to believe that everyone is kind hearted on the inside. This can lead to some awkward, if not potentially dangerous situations. The violent rage lurking just beneath the surface is another problem he has had to deal with. He has it under control for the most part, there are times when it breaks through his defenses, those moments lead to a body count of whoever caused the rage to boil over, usually that would be someone threatening him or someone he cares for. The nightmares that wake him screaming in the night are something else he has to face everyday, it's troublesome more then anything else as it leaves him tired for most of the next day with only a minimal amount of sleep each other. His curiosity usually gets him into trouble as well, most noteably getting him cast out of his tribe, he can't resist inspecting or discovering everything about something that intrigues him.

History
Born during the Winter Solstice festival Dreánis was like any other Maeverhim child, he lived with his parents in a community of about 50 individuals, all of whom were cheerful, childish Maeverhim. Though it took him a bit to get the hang of using the ladders, ropes, and crawl-lines eventually he got adept at it and thoroughly enjoyed moving from tree to tree. At such a young age he wasn't nearly strong enough to simply jump from tree to tree, or "tree-hop", so he remained relatively close to home, he could usually be found sitting on one of the branches near the outside of his family's home listening to the birds and whistling beetles. He took part in games with the other children, even the older members of the tribe sometimes joined in the games, his childhood was filled with nothing but happy moments up in the trees playing with his brethren.

However as he grew he became more and more curious about the surrounding world, what lay at the bottom of the trees? What was beyond that? Most of the time he thought he was the only one curious about the rest of the world because it quite simply never came up, nobody spoke about it, so he assumed he was the only curious one. He never really did any work in the village, he simply played with the other children, he was taught, informally, of course. As he grew and became stronger he thoroughly enjoyed tree-hopping and found himself exploring the surrounding Sharadon forest for most of his remaining days there, he would often sit in a previous un-explored area listening to the new sounds.

Even with this exploration his curiosity was never satisfied though, he had to know about the outside world, so one night he asked his father about it. His father simply said those who reach the ground are deemed "Earthburned" and may never return to the village, Dreánis didn't really understand this concept but he accepted it as how his tribe ran things and left it at that, for a short while anyway. Nearing 29, equivalent to 18 humans years, he still hadn't learned all he wanted to know about the outside world. So he made the decision to go explore closer to the forest floor, he wouldn't touch it, he would just explore above it to see if he got any clues about the world below. So down he moved towards the floor moving along the branches close to the floor and watching the various animals and critters that scurried about on the forest floor as he did so, he found it all so intrigueing and he found himself wondering how the ground felt, he knew this would get him into nothing but trouble but he just had to know. So down even further he went until finally he touched the forest floor, he marvelled at how different the world seemed from down here and went exploring, unfortunately for him though one of the other young Elves from his tribe saw him.

When Dreánis returned to the village he was shunned and joked about by his brethren, the hurt of their words and humiliations cut deeply into the childish youth, but what hurt even more was his own parents turned a cold shoulder towards him. Realizing he had no place here, much thanks to the obvious hints dropped by the others, he packed up what meager belongings he had. The hurt of having to leave his home behind would haunt him for decades to come, but there was something else there mixed with the pain, a deep rage was building inside him. He began to resent his fellow Maeverhim for casting him out like this. He didn't really understand why he was cast out for simply touching the ground but he didn't need to really understand why, he knew he had done something awful if it caused his parents to turn away from him. Attempting to be optimistic he realized this was his chance to explore the world, although that idea did have some appeal to him he didn't really feel up to the task at the moment so he waited a few days to start his journey.

Once he did leave however he discovered an entirely different world, in Sharadon the people were nice and friendly, always welcoming strangers into their homes, but the world outside Sharadon was something completely different, everyone was suspicious of each other and regarded each other with hostility. For the many decades he travelled Dreánis would get into countless life threatening situations because he trusted the wrong person, but of course like all sensible people he would realize he had to be more wary of people, though he still held fast to his belief that all people were kind hearted this would eventually fade away. Slowly he began to realize what the world was truly like outside of the forest and he was struck more frequently by homesickness for Sharadon, he would return there on occasion but never let his tribe know of his presence, he would simply pass through.

He has seen much of the world and it's people, though he can't say all of them have been exceptionally friendly he has met a few kind individuals and has made a bit of coin along the way trading various items he's acquired. His curiosity still gets the better of him from time to time, but for the most part these days he just wants to return home and live amongst his people again.

Weapons
Dreánis only carries two weapons with him along with an abundance of arrows. His weapon of choice is his longbow, he's very adapt with it though he prefers not to use it at all. His secondary weapon, mainly only used for situations where his bow would be inadequate, mostly close-combat, his is is his dagger, it's blade is slightly longer then your average dagger allowing for a longer reach.

Belongings
Dreánis has a small assortment of trinkets and unimportant items he's acquired over his travels stuffed into a leather satchel he keeps draped over his shoulder with a leather strap, other then that and the clothes on his back, his weapons, and his quiver he carries nothing else with him, he doesn't really need to carry food as he's an excellent forager.
« Last Edit: December 14, 2006, 03:37:20 PM by Kalina Merenwen » Logged

Twén Aråerwén
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Elf, Ifer’hém


« Reply #1 on: December 05, 2006, 11:41:48 AM »

Hello Dreanis! Welcome back to Santharia. I have but only one moderator comment after reading your CD. The third sentence within the weakness section, mentions skill with the sword. This is not mentioned anywhere else. Possibly a typo?

From a personal standpoint. A marvelously written CD, with an abundance of Santharian flavor. A true pleasure to read.
~Sincerely~
Cáo fá cár'tuulén:Twen Araerwen
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•º•The spell fell upon the crowd like a dragon, •º•
•º•ancient and full of death.•º•
_.·´¯) Twén Aråerwén's CD(¯`·._
Dreánis Almenia
Earthburned Wanderer
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Posts: 20


Elf, Maeverhim


« Reply #2 on: December 05, 2006, 11:51:17 AM »

Aye that was a typo, thank you for pointing that out Twen, must have missed it ^.^. Thank you, I tried to tap my rather old well of Santharian knowledge :P, but alot has changed since I left so had to use the website a bit, glad you liked it. ^.^
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Twén Aråerwén
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« Reply #3 on: December 05, 2006, 12:16:03 PM »

Well with that small correction, I am quite happy with what you have. Though the reason for him becoming earth-burned seems a bit naive, it is not so farfetched for the dreams of youth. ~First Approval~
~Sincerely~
Cáo fá cár'tuulén:Twen Araerwen
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•º•The spell fell upon the crowd like a dragon, •º•
•º•ancient and full of death.•º•
_.·´¯) Twén Aråerwén's CD(¯`·._
Dreánis Almenia
Earthburned Wanderer
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Gender: Male
Posts: 20


Elf, Maeverhim


« Reply #4 on: December 05, 2006, 12:26:51 PM »

Yeah I was thinking about coming up with some big elaborate scheme for him to somehow become earth-burned, but decided to go with the curioisity of youth. ^.^
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Kalína Dalá'isyrás
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High Elf, Kaýrrhem


« Reply #5 on: December 05, 2006, 02:15:49 PM »

Hallo! My name is Kalina (Aka: Grammar Queen ^.~)

Wonderful character you have here! My only real problem with this CD is nothing factual but grammatical and how it reads. Run-on sentences -.- There are just some places you go on and on and on and on with your sentence when it could be broken up into 2, 3, evem 4-5 sentences!

A suggestion from me would be go to through and break up these poor stretched out sentences to make for easier reading. Lovely word usage, just need some solid breaks. ^.^
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Insanity is only a perception made by those who have yet to attain its greatness. While those of us who have already stepped inside its bounds find bliss in our utter madness.
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Ta'lia of the Seven Jewels
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« Reply #6 on: December 05, 2006, 06:48:26 PM »

Really, a very good read! I have to agree.

There are two things however, which I think need to be corrected.

 - You describe all Maeverhim as childish and cheery. They are surely not. They are seen by many as child-like, which is a difference to childish (=immature), which surely not applies to one of the oldest elven tribes. Your char can of course be childish and giddy, but not the whole tribe.

- I don't think, that curiosity only would bring a Maeverhim child to touch the earth. It is such a taboo, that it would not come to the mind of a NORMAL (indoctrinated) child who loves his parents to do this. Perhaps you give him some reason to do so? Make him special in his personality?
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Simonne Miller
Guest
« Reply #7 on: December 05, 2006, 07:05:26 PM »

Hi Dreanis. Yes, the name sounded familiar. This one surely doesn't to you, seeing as it's only one of my latest characters, but maybe you remember a certain dark-haired, golden-eyed elf by the name of Irid, who fell in love with a certain mercenary? By name of... Oh what was it again... *grins*

I don't have much time to go over your character right now, seeing as I have class soon, but I will, promise. Unless the next approval comes soon ;)

Irid/Simonne (and a few others, I leave you to discover them. But I don't play Irid anymore ;))
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Dreánis Almenia
Earthburned Wanderer
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Elf, Maeverhim


« Reply #8 on: December 05, 2006, 08:53:46 PM »

I think I fixed it so it doesn't say ever Maeverhim is childish and giddy, not sure if I got it all as I haven't read through the history yet. I'll read through the history after my classes are done for the day and fix the rest. Also added a bit to his personality hopefully explaining why his curiosity would lead him to touch the ground even though it's so taboo.

Nice to see you again Irid =). I'm off to classes so I'll fix the rest later.
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Naya More'ek
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« Reply #9 on: December 06, 2006, 03:20:17 AM »

yay, Uri-check time! Comments will be in teal

Description
The once joyful gleam of the Maeverhim is long gone from Dreánis' swirling blue eyes, only a deep sadness fills his once playful gaze,. Beneath that sadness is a violent rage boiling just below the surface, always clawing at the surface Suggestion: always trying to get out. One looking into his gaze can sometimes catch glimpses of this rage. He appears to be roughly 25 years old in human years, like his people he has an almost child-like facial structure despite his towering height. This appearance belies the wisdom of many years spent in the world, which is clear in his eyes. His thin lips rarely ever curl into the smile that once adorned their pale surface, now they usually remain in a cruel, wicked line of solemn quietness. Elegant, sleek strands of jet black hair fall down across his shoulders, the strands fall even further just barely grazing the small of his back. His hair is streaked with a dark green pigment. He has an almost() (it's almost grim, not almost face) grim face, though it shows signs of once being childish and giddy, memories of playing amongst the canopy vivid on his face. His thin, elegant facial structure would be almost serene if it weren't for the haunting sadness in his eyes. He has an aquiline nose, it is thin and elegant. You say Elegant three times in as many sentences, try finding a more creative word :)

A black necklaces necklace hangs from his long, slender neck, it consists of many threads woven around each other to make a thin cord that drapes around his collar bone. A baggy dark green cloth tunic hangs off his elegant shoulders to hang about his slender frame, the long sleeves of this tunic flare out around his hands as if to engulf them. The tunic hangs about loosely around his lower torso draping over the top of his loose cloth pants. The cloth that once hung from the sleeves attaching them to the torso of the tunic is tattered and barely remains in some places, it hangs in threads off the sleeves. Almost all of the material is gone leaving behind only remaints remains of what were once wing-like appendages. Similar to the piece around his neck he wears three bracelets on each arm of woven black thread twisting around each other to form a thin black cord that easily ties loosely around his wrist. Maybe it's enough to mention that the bracelets are made the same way, we can imagine it after the first description ;)

At the small of his back is an intricately crafted leather sheathe for a long-bladed dagger he wields in close-combat situations. The leather of the sheathe is black with leather straps attaching it to the back of his belt, intricate, bird-like symbols are carved into the surface of the leather. The dagger itself is simple, steel with a black hilt and gold hand-guard. Slung over his shoulder or across his chest is his longbow of Maeverhim design, it's the color of oak and has the elvish words for "Earthburned" carved into the wood.

He wears a simple black, cloth belt to hold up his baggy black cloth pants, hanging along his right side from this belt is a leather quiver of tan complexion stuffed with arrows. The belt is simple and effective, made of sturdy black cloth it fits his elegant waist firmly, it has a simple silver buckle. From this belt flows baggy black cloth pants that hang off his waist to absorb his legs, they hang in many folds around his long, elegant legs with the bottoms flaring out around his feet. Similar to all Maeverhim he has naturally black nails, both finger and toe, but unlike other Maeverhim he has come accustomed to trimming them, so even though they're slightly longer then an average person's they are considerably shorter in length compared to a Maeverhim's.

Personality
Dreánis is a, suggestion: three dots instead of a comma complicated fellow for lack of a better term. Most of the time he appears to have an almost child-like disposition, he's in by no means innocent mind you, but his mannerisms are childish and giddy. He loves jokes, games, and stories, but there is always that sadness lurking beneath the surface of his childish act. There are times when the giddy, fun-loving side of him gives way to the sulking, sad side of him, it leaves him in a pouty or aggravated mood, he hates being sad but he can't help it for often he is struck with a crippling yearning to return to Sharadon forest and live among the canopy of the trees again. This can be two sentences instead of one He knows he cannot return, for he is "Earthburned", an outcast in all meanings of the term, he was cast out of the tribe and cannot return, you say the same thing twice of course this doesn't comfort the home-sickness he feels at certain moments.

Despight Despite his child-like disposition he is by no means innocent or naive, he has wandered ever since being cast out of his tribe and has seen the world's all too gruesome underground. He has witnessed many atrocities and horrible acts, many of which still haunt his dreams at night waking him from a fitful sleep in a sudden glimpse of past terror. He hates these dreams above everything else, for they remind him how cruel people can be when he wants to believe everyone is kind hearted. Dreánis has a burning curiosity, more so then most people it can take control of him and drive him to discover the most he can about what intrigues him. This curiosity is the reason he was outcast from his tribe and he despises this aspect of himself, but he can't help but wonder what he'll find out next when he's driven by the curiosity.

Dreánis is quick-witted and wiry when he has to be, he's quiet capable of moving silently if the need arose and he's even more capable of taking a life if he, or someone he cares for, is threatened. He has no qaurrel Quarrel means fight, argument. I think you mean 'qualms about'. with killing another living creature, though he'd rather avoid it all together he has accepted that in this world it's an inevitability he must accept to survive.

There is something else hidden beneath the child-like surface of Dreánis though, a violent rage that is manifested when he was outcast by the tribe, by the way because of the way? they shunned him and turned away from him. It's not a sudden rage that overcomes him, it occurs in specific moments, often when he is being threatened or treated badly, it reminds him of when he was outcast and can cause a sudden, violent outburst.

Strenghts
Dreánis is very observant of his surroundings. Decades of travelling and adventuring with various companions of shady and noble backgrounds have left him with a multitude of training, mostly for combat situations if he cannot avoid them entirely. He has a sharp eye for detail and rarely misses what goes on around him, though he's not very good with names he can instantly remember what someone looks like, though if you ask him to draw it your you're out of luck, he's not much of an artist..Dreánis is very agile for his towering height, his elegant body structure gives him excellent flexability flexibility, and his long legs give him descent decent top running speed. He's very adapt up in the tree tops and can move stealthily even through the thickest canopies. Does he still do that very often? If not, maybe you can mention that he still has this skill but it's lessened compared with when he was still living with his family. Dreánis is very skilled with the bow and dagger, though he prefers to avoid conflict all together. When that fails he relies on his sharp eye and quickness with the bow, or his agile elegance with the dagger.

Weaknesses
His child-like disposition and love of jokes usually get him into mischief and trouble with authoritative figures. His aversion to violence usually causes him some problems as many people he has met in this world haven't been fond of his jokes or games, which usually involve humiliating them in some way, so many have tried to take a chunk out of him. Though they rarely succeed thanks to his quickness and agile build, not to mention his skill with both bow and dagger. He's still slightly naive, he knows there are gruesome and cruel people out there, but he still likes to believe that everyone is kind hearted on the inside. This can lead to some awkward, if not potentially dangerous situations. The violent rage lurking just beneath the surface is another problem he has had to deal with, though he has it under control for the most part there are times when it breaks through his defenses, those moments usually lead to a body count of whoever caused the rage to boil over, usually that would be someone threatening him or someone he cares for. You have usually twice in the same sentence. The nightmares that wake him screaming in the night are something else he has to face everyday, it's troublesome more then anything else as it leaves him tired for most of the next day with only a minimal amount of sleep each other. His curiosity usually gets him into trouble as well, most noteably getting him cast out of his tribe, he can't resist inspecting or discovering everything about something that intrigues him.

History
Born during the Winter Solstice festival Dreánis was like any other Maeverhim child, he lived with his parents in a community of about 50 individuals, all of whom were cheerful, childish Maeverhim. Though it took him a bit to get the hang of using the ladders, ropes, and crawl-lines eventually he got the hang of it and thoroughly enjoyed moving from tree to tree. "the hang of it" twice in the same sentence At such a young age he wasn't nearly strong enough to simply jump from tree to tree, or "tree-hop", so he remained relatively close to home, he could usually be found sitting on one of the branches near the outside of his family's home listening to the birds and whistling beetles. He took part in games with the other children, even the older members of the tribe sometimes joined in the games, his childhood was filled with nothing but happy moments up in the trees playing with his brethren.

However as he grew he became more and more curious about the surrounding world, what lay at the bottom of the trees? What was beyond that? Most of the time he thought he was the only one curious about the rest of the world because it quite simply never came up, nobody spoke about it, so he assumed he was the only curious one. He never really did any work in the village, he simply played with the other children, he was taught, informally, of course. As he grew and became stronger he thoroughly enjoyed tree-hopping and found himself exploring the surrounding Sharadon forest for most of his remaining days there, he would often sit in a previous un-explored area listening to the new sounds.

Even with this exploration his curiosity was never satisfied though, he had to know about the outside world, so one night he asked his father about it. His father simply said those who reach the ground are deemed "Earthburned" and may never return to the village, Dreánis didn't really understand this concept but he accepted it as how his tribe ran things and left it at that, for a short while anyway. Nearing 29, equivalent to 18 humans years, he still hadn't learned all he wanted to know about the outside world, so he made the decision to go explore closer to the forest floor, he wouldn't touch it, he would just explore above it to see if he got any clues about the world below. So down he moved towards the floor moving along the branches close to the floor and watching the various animals and critters that scurried about on the forest floor as he did so, he found it all so intrigue ing and he found himself wondering how the ground felt, he knew this would get him into nothing but trouble but he just had to know. So down even further he went until finally he touched the forest floor, he marvelled at how different the world seemed from down here and went exploring, unfortunately for him though one of the other young Elves from his tribe saw him. This is just a suggestion, but maybe you can let him see the floor first, then make him go back, but it keeps on nagging him, so then he goes back and touches it?

When Dreánis returned to the village he was shunned and joked about by his brethren, the hurt of their words and humiliations cut deeply into the childish youth, but what hurt even more was his own parents turned a cold shoulder towards him. Realizing he had no place here, much thanks to the obvious hints dropped by the others, he packed up what meager belongings he had, the hurt of having to leave his home behind would haunt him for decades to come, but there was something else there mixed with the pain, a deep rage was building inside him. Divide into a few sentences He began to resent his fellow Maeverhim for casting him out like this, he didn't really understand why he was cast out for simply touching the ground but he didn't need to really understand why, he knew he had done something awful if it caused his parents to turn away from him. See previous comment Attempting to be optimistic he realized this was his chance to explore the world, although that idea did have some appeal to him he didn't really feel up to the task at the moment so he waited a few days to start his journey.

Once he did leave however he discovered an entirely different world, in Sharadon the people were nice and friendly, always welcoming strangers into their homes, but the world outside Sharadon was something completely different, everyone was suspicious of each other and regarded each other with hostility. For the many decades he travelled Dreánis would get into countless life threatening situations because he trusted the wrong person, but of course like all sensible people he would realize he had to be more wary of people, though he still held fast to his belief that all people were kind hearted this would eventually fade away. Slowly he began to realize what the world was truly like outside of the forest and he was struck more frequently by homesickness for Sharadon, he would return there on occasion but never let his tribe know of his presence, he would simply pass through.

He has seen much of the world and it's people, though he can't say all of them have been exceptionally friendly he has met a few kind individuals and has made a bit of coin along the way trading various items he's acquired. He's his curiosity still gets the better of him from time to time, but for the most part these days he just wants to return home and live amongst his people again.

Weapons
Dreánis only carries two weapons with him along with an abundance of arrows. His weapon of choice is his longbow, he's very adapt with it though he prefers not to use it at all. His secondary weapon, mainly only used for situations where his bow would be inadequate, mostly close-combat, his is is his ;)dagger, it's blade is slightly longer then your average dagger allowing for a longer reach.

Belongings
Dreánis has a small assortment of trinkets and unimportant items he's acquired over his travels stuffed into a leather satchel he keeps draped over his shoulder with a leather strap, other then that and the clothes on his back, his weapons, and his quiver he carries nothing else with him, he doesn't really need to carry food as he's an excellent forager.

There, I hope I helped you come closer to a title.

With regard,
Naya
« Last Edit: December 06, 2006, 03:20:38 AM by Naya More ek » Logged

Dreánis Almenia
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« Reply #10 on: December 06, 2006, 12:46:31 PM »

Okay, finished fixing the rest and added in your suggestions. ^.^
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Naya More'ek
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« Reply #11 on: December 06, 2006, 11:29:58 PM »

One more thing, I'm not sure if it's sheath or sheathe, maybe you can look it up? I don't have an English dictionary here, and the spell check doesn't really tell me anything.
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Dreánis Almenia
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« Reply #12 on: December 07, 2006, 04:43:32 AM »

Pretty sure it's sheathe, but could be wrong don't have a dictionary handy and don't have the time to actually look it up, I'll check later when I have more time. =)
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Artimidor Federkiel
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« Reply #13 on: December 07, 2006, 06:03:26 AM »

Just stumbled over this, and had an online dictionary at hand, so to clarify this:

sheath = noun
to sheathe = verb
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Dreánis Almenia
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Elf, Maeverhim


« Reply #14 on: December 08, 2006, 05:17:33 AM »

Thanks Arti ^.^, anything else I need to change/add?
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