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Author Topic: Caithren/Hobbit/Miscreant  (Read 11717 times)
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Kain Cristar
Divine Aspect
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Posts: 588


Elf, Co'orhem Kayrrhem


« Reply #15 on: January 13, 2007, 07:40:24 PM »

Name
Caithren Shudmeyer

Gender
Male

Age
19

Race
Halfling

Tribe
Helmonds Shire

Occupation
Mercenary of sorts

Title
Jack of All Trades

Overview
Caithren is a cocksure, in your face, wisecracking nuisance. Enough said about his overall personality, Caithren tends to be over intuitive, underhanded and downright uncivil at times. Known as “That short fellow what swindled me” to most “Caithren” to his associates and “that damned hobbit” to anyone in a position of respectable authority.

Physical Appearance
Caith as he is known to some is roughly a ped tall, with a tangled mess of auburn hair that looks like it hasn’t seen any form of water other than rain for months on end, nor a comb for that matter. He tends to walk with something of a cross between a skip and a mad run for his life, dependant on the situation. He has a “rather dashing” looking scar on his right cheek and a pair of wily looking blue eyes and a charismatic smile to match. He is longer in the leg than he is in the body, and lacks the rather prominent “build” of his folk, though this is generally attributed to the fair amount of exercise he gets being run out of towns, villages, inns, taverns and any other respectable establishment that could possibly come to mind as well as several... well, less than respectable establishments.
   
Clothes
Caith wears a pair of burgundy slacks, a rather dirty shirt that may have at one time been white and a red vest, which is in much the same condition as the rest of his clothing. Being a hobbit, he does not wear shoes, even in the coldest of climates (though what respectable sort of hobbit would get caught away from hearth and food I do not know). Caith also has a longish ankle length traveling jacket made of leather and lined on the inside, which occasionally doubles as a blanket or a sleeping mat if the situation should call for it. The jacket has numerous pockets where Caith keeps the occasional trick or two as well as a “damned wicked sharp” dagger.

Personality
Caith will not stop talking unless his life or his wallet depended on it. Numerous times he has talked his way into and out of trouble as well as at the most inopportune time piped up and offended someone or said something he oughtn’t have said. He is overconfident most of the time, optimistic most of the time and downright uncivil whenever it is possible using most of the time twice really kills an other wise very smooth read. Instead perhaps "He is often overconfident, flagrantly optimistic, and...". In short, Caithren has a mouth on him and he knows how to use it, along with a silver tongue as sharp as any dagger. He is possibly the worst character witness you could look to ever for a glance at hobbitish personality and habbits As well as being very tacked on, this sentence needs some gramatical help. A period might help.
   
a) Strengths

Charisma - Caithren has a talent for talking. It’s one of his few redeeming qualities. Charisma simply oozes off of his person at times and he never seems to run out of opportune compliments and methods of giving lip service to people, particularly those in positions of authority. I like my way of spacing the title and description of the strength. You can use either way.

Wit-Along with his charisma, this is the only other quality that anyone would find of use on a day-to-day basis. The cogs in Caith’s mind are a never ceasing piece of machinery this reads as "never ending" rather than "never stopping", constantly churning out ideas, insults, and witty comments on a regular basis.

Fast Feet-As a result of a fair bit of running and dodging and generally getting out of unpleasant situations, Caithren can run rather quickly when necessary, even though he prefers a jaunty sort of stride most of the time.

Boomerang- Niccoli is somewhat proficient with his boomerang, though because of the metal edge it still occasionally cuts his hand.

b) Weaknesses
Overconfident- Why the space here?
Caith’s general aura of overconfidence is obvious enough that a deaf man would smell it if he couldn’t hear it in Caith’s speech. He thinks he will not run out of ideas and ways of getting out of trouble. This however is not the case.

Mouthy- Caith is mouthy in the extreme. He will not stop talking unless unconscious, though he has been known to talk in his sleep as well. He will mouth off to almost anyone at anytime unless he has a very good deal of respect for him or her. Needless to say, this is why his feet wind up having to run so fast.

Greed-If there’s money to be had, Caithren will be there. The tinkling sound of copper, silver and gold coins is irresistible to Caith and he will go very far in pursuit of the elusive goldbard, usually failing to regard the law and sometimes his own safety and that of others.

History
Caithren was born in Helmondshire, the son of an enterprising, gentlemanly sort of hobbit, the polar opposite of his wily, boistrous over-the top son. Hopping his son would grow up to be a farmer, Caithren was taught as such. This was not the case. Caithren ran away from home at the age of 15 and began to become the person he is today. He never really became mouthy perse; some say it is a defensive mechanism against the rest of the world. He would start talking and never stop. He also never really fit in. Some said it was bad blood on his mother's side, others say he was just born queer, but Caith always attributes it to a general "overall 'atred of the 'ole lifestyle, 'cept the food, the food I could get used to." Around age 17 while hanging around the gates of Nyermersys, Caithren ran into, quite literally, Scyern. The Osther-Oc orc would up giving him the scar on his right cheek after Caith ran his mouth ahead of his brain and insulted the imposing orc. The two became fast friends. Scyern was not that fast with “thinking sort of things” and Caith couldn’t fight all that well. The two went together like a doch nut and it's shell.The pair set themselves up as mercenaries of sorts and began traveling the land in search of fame and the elusive goldbard.

Did you want to begin a new paragraph here?

During these travels Caith acquired his new favourite “toy” a metal edged boomerang. Occasionally he still cuts himself, due to the fact that he had to train himself how to throw it so that it “ kill the space won’t come back and slice me ‘ead off.”

Weapons
A boomerang and a dagger, though it is large enough to be a sword for the little hobbit. The boomerang is metal edged and is lovingly referred to by Caith as “like a lit’l puppy, but occasionally it don’t come back, or try to bite your ‘and”

Belongings
Boomerang aside, the only belonging that Caith has of any value is Writ, his dog.

Familiars
Caith has a rather big large would fit the tone and flow better, me thinks. dog, which he can ride if need be. The dog is named Writ, and is a rather stout companion. He is a Cholian Waterdog, with a dirty gold coloured fur streaked with bits of brown. Rather quiet most of the time, Writ only seems to bark at persons who smell of perfume or somesuch trifle; Caith has often said " 'E just don't like 'em nobles... no one does mind choo." Writ is intensly loyal and is exceptionally good at producing that forlorn stare that would make your heart melt. If you can call the big lug of an orc a familiar I’d guess Scyern counts too…

I've done gone and created the anti-hobbit! it's the most unhobbitlike hobbit you'll ever meet! I like this CD. It reads like somethink Derek would write. I think you said all you needed to when it comes to his behavior, some people are just born weird, methinks. He seems balanced enough, as long as you keep the orc at a reasonable level. There isn't anything else that I can think of that might keep you from a title. Good job and whatnot.
Logged

You have lived a life of cruelty and atrocity, you have bathed in the blood of the innocent, you have considered every act of depravity and your corruption knows no bounds. I am the angel of justice, I am the accumulation of all of your sins. Prepare for your redemption.

-Kain Cristar, Divine Aspect
Niccoli Faust
Guest
« Reply #16 on: January 31, 2007, 11:19:44 AM »

Thanks, sorry i got to this so late. 3rd page down... wow... Will do with the edits.
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Niccoli Faust
Guest
« Reply #17 on: February 08, 2007, 06:39:24 AM »

edits finished. bumped to the second page... wooo. Please comment when there is time.
Logged
Simonne Miller
Guest
« Reply #18 on: February 08, 2007, 08:20:39 PM »

Hi Caithren! (or Niccoli, whichever you prefer ;))

This CD is looking quite well already, if a little short. Nothing wrong with that, mind. Not everyone has to write CDs from here to Santhala. You seem to have everything covered that we need to know.

One thing I found myself wondering while I was reading your history: if Caith insulted Scyern, why did they become friends? Orcs don't seem the kind of race to easily forgive and forget, even after giving him a 'dashing scar' ;)
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Niccoli Faust
Guest
« Reply #19 on: February 09, 2007, 05:23:12 AM »

I don't know, I'll probably have to use that section over but essentially, I figure he must have admired or at least been suprised by the AUDACITY of this wee small hobbit with a knife, to insult something that is more or less a tank compared to it.
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Simonne Miller
Guest
« Reply #20 on: February 09, 2007, 06:45:06 PM »

Sounds reasonable. You can write something like that to explain it in the cd, though preferably without use of the word 'tank', obviously. Tell me when you're ready for more comments :)
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Caithren
Jack of All Trades
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Posts: 39

Hobbit, Helmondsshire


« Reply #21 on: August 01, 2007, 12:36:09 AM »

It's baaaack.
Logged

I know I can't slow down,
I can't hold back,
Though you know, I wish I could.
No there ain't no rest for the wicked,
Until we close our eyes for good

Caithren Shudmeyer
Kalína Dalá'isyrás
Dalá'isyrás
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Gender: Female
Posts: 12803


High Elf, Kaýrrhem


« Reply #22 on: August 01, 2007, 01:04:01 AM »

Make sure you are using the correct name throughout the CD! Niccoli is used a few times instead of Caithren
Logged

Insanity is only a perception made by those who have yet to attain its greatness. While those of us who have already stepped inside its bounds find bliss in our utter madness.
Nai'r en'Lina ar'Kaimel
Niccoli Faust
Guest
« Reply #23 on: August 01, 2007, 08:45:00 AM »

right, bad me. I'll get through it right away... after studying.  Undecided  cry
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Thorgas Ironforge
Ironforge Pyromancer
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Gender: Male
Posts: 1540


Dwarf, Mitharim


« Reply #24 on: August 01, 2007, 09:39:36 PM »

Red.

Name
Caithren Shudmeyer

Gender
Male

Age
19

Race
Halfling

Tribe
Helmonds Shire

Occupation
Mercenary of sorts

Title
Jack of All Trades

Overview
Caithren is a cocksure, in your face, wisecracking nuisance. Enough said about his overall personality, Caithren tends to be over intuitive, underhanded and downright uncivil at times. Known as “That short fellow what swindled me” to most “Caithren” to his associates and “that damned hobbit” to anyone in a position of respectable authority.

Physical Appearance
Caith as he is known to some is roughly a ped tall, with a tangled mess of auburn hair that looks like it hasn’t seen any form of water other than rain for months on end, nor a comb for that matter. He tends to walk with something of a cross between a skip and a mad run for his life, dependant on the situation. He has a “rather dashing” looking scar on his right cheek and a pair of wily looking blue eyes and a charismatic smile to match. He is longer in the leg than he is in the body, and lacks the rather prominent “build” of his folk, though this is generally attributed to the fair amount of exercise he gets being run out of towns, villages, inns, taverns and any other respectable establishment that could possibly come to mind as well as several... well less than respectable establishments.
   
Clothes
Caith wears a pair of burgundy slacks, a rather dirty shirt that may have at one time been white and a red vest, which is in much the same condition as the rest of his clothing. Being a hobbit, he does not wear shoes, even in the coldest of climates (though what respectable sort of hobbit would get caught away from hearth and food I do not know). Caith also has a longish ankle length traveling jacket made of leather and lined on the inside, which occasionally doubles as a blanket or a sleeping mat if the situation should call for it. The jacket has numerous pockets where Caith keeps the occasional trick or two as well as a “damned wicked sharp” dagger.

Personality
Caith will not stop talking unless his life or his wallet depended on it. Numerous times he has talked his way into and out of trouble as well as at the most inopportune time piped up and offended someone or said something he oughtn’t have said. He is overconfident most of the time, optimistic much of the time and downright uncivil whenever it is possible. In short, Caithren has a mouth on him and he knows how to use it, along with a silver tongue as sharp as any dagger. He is possibly the worst character witness you could look to ever for proof of hobbitish personality and habbits.
   
a) Strengths

Charisma-Caithren has a talent for talking. It’s one of his few redeeming qualities. Charisma simply oozes off of his person at times and he never seems to run out of opportune compliments and methods of giving lip service to people, particularly those in positions of authority.

Wit-Along with his charisma, this is the only other quality that anyone would find of use on a day-to-day basis. The cogs in Caith’s mind are a never ceasing piece of machinery, constantly churning out ideas, insults, and witty comments on a regular basis.

Fast Feet-As a result of a fair bit of running and dodging and generally getting out of unpleasant situations, Caithren can run rather quickly when necessary, even though he prefers a jaunty sort of stride most of the time.

Boomerang- Caithren is somewhat proficient with his boomerang, though because of the metal edge it still occasionally cuts his hand.

b) Weaknesses

Overconfident-Caith’s general aura of overconfidence is obvious enough that a deaf man would smell it if he couldn’t hear it in Caith’s speech. He thinks he will not run out of ideas and ways of getting out of trouble. This however is not the case.

Mouthy- Caith is mouthy in the extreme. He will not stop talking unless unconscious, though he has been known to talk in his sleep as well. He will mouth off to almost anyone at anytime unless he has a very good deal of respect for him or her. Needless to say, this is why his feet wind up having to run so fast.

Greed-If there’s money to be had, Caithren will be there. The tinkling sound of copper, silver and gold coins is irresistible to Caith and he will go very far in pursuit of the elusive goldbard, usually failing to regard the law and sometimes his own safety and that of others.

History
Caithren was born in Helmondshire, the son of an enterprising, gentlemanly sort of hobbit, the polar opposite of his wily, boistrous over-the top son. Hopping(Hoping) his son would grow up to be a farmer, Caithren was taught as such. This was not the case. Caithren ran away from home at the age of 15 and began to become the person he is today. He never really became mouthy per(space)se; some say it is a defensive mechanism against the rest of the world. He would start talking and never stop. He also never really fit in. Some said it was bad blood on his mother's side, others say he was just born queer, but Caith always attributes it to a general "overall 'atred of the 'ole lifestyle, 'cept the food, the food I could get used to." Around age 17 while hanging around the gates of Nyermersys, Caithren ran into, quite literally, Scyern. The Osther-Oc orc would up(would up?) giving him the scar on his right cheek after Caith ran his mouth ahead of his brain and insulted the imposing orc. Something about someone of Caithren's size insulting an orc took to Scyern as being funny, and worthy of some ammount(amount) of respect(He is an orc. If you have insulted one, you won't be laughing afterwards.). The two became fast friends. Scyern was not that fast with “thinking sort of things” and Caith couldn’t fight all that well. The two went together like a doch nut and it's shell.The pair set themselves up as mercenaries of sorts and began traveling the land in search of fame and the elusive goldbard.
During these travels Caith acquired his new favourite “toy” a metal edged boomerang. Occasionally he still cuts himself, due to the fact that he had to train himself how to throw it so that it “won’t come back and slice me ‘ead off.”

Weapons
A boomerang and a dagger, though it is large enough to be a sword for the little hobbit. The boomerang is metal edged and is lovingly referred to by Caith as “like a lit’l puppy, but occasionally it don’t come back, or try to bite your ‘and”

Belongings
Boomerang aside, the only belonging that Caith has of any value is Writ, his dog.

Familiars
Caith has a rather large dog, which he can ride if need be. The dog is named Writ, and is a rather stout companion. He is a Cholian Waterdog, with a dirty gold coloured fur streaked with bits of brown. Rather quiet most of the time, Writ only seems to bark at persons who smell of perfume or somesuch trifle; Caith has often said " 'E just don't like 'em nobles... no one does mind choo." Writ is intensly loyal and is exceptionally good at producing that forlorn stare that would make your heart melt. If you can call the big lug of an orc a familiar I’d guess Scyern counts too…(You have never mentioned how he got his dog in your history.)

I've done gone and created the anti-hobbit! it's the most unhobbitlike hobbit you'll ever meet!(Not so. You created the ideal hobbit, one whose personality reflects their love for party and adventure.)


And there you go. I never check much of it because I assume your intention is to create a hobbit with unhobbit-like manners. I would be wasting my time checking it if in the end you will just redo the whole thing. No offense intended, it's just that I want to conserve my energy for other CDs in need of comments. Feel free to give us a PM if you want another check, and we will gladly do it for you.

Have a nice day.
Logged

A weak mind is a deadly foe.
Thorgas Ironforge
Buri
Thorgas' theme song
Niccoli Faust
Guest
« Reply #25 on: August 01, 2007, 11:26:34 PM »

Fixed!
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Kalína Dalá'isyrás
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High Elf, Kaýrrhem


« Reply #26 on: August 04, 2007, 01:58:28 AM »

Thorgas is right. You really didn't create and anti-hobbit, but one who just likes to have fun and enjoys adventure a bit more than the rest of them. Merry and Pippin come to mind ^.~

Looks good to me! "+"
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Insanity is only a perception made by those who have yet to attain its greatness. While those of us who have already stepped inside its bounds find bliss in our utter madness.
Nai'r en'Lina ar'Kaimel
Niccoli Faust
Guest
« Reply #27 on: August 04, 2007, 02:36:12 AM »

Huzzah! No, an anti-hobbit would be anti-social among other things. Sophronians (extinct) come to mind as being polar opposites to hobbits.
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Niccoli Faust
Guest
« Reply #28 on: August 07, 2007, 05:15:12 AM »

One more approval, come on!
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Vesk Lyricahl
Woeful Rover
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Human, Eyelian


« Reply #29 on: August 10, 2007, 12:42:16 AM »

Your wish is my command. ;)

Second approval given. Thumb up
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