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Below is a summary on the posticons used for the character description approval process. The posticon of the first post should always be edited according to the current state of completion of the character description (either by the player, a Moderator or an Administrator).
1) PLAYER - CD is incomplete. Use this posticon if you have not finished your CD.  4) MODERATOR - CD has been approved by one moderator. A second mod's approval is needed.
 2) PLAYER - CD is completed. Use this if you have finished working on your CD.  5) MODERATOR - CD has been approved by two moderators. An Administrator should soon take care of the titling.
 3) MODERATOR - An expert's opinion is needed. The specific field in which the expert's help is needed should be added to the title.  6) ADMINISTRATOR - An administrator has titled the character, and the thread will soon be moved to the CD Archives.
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Author Topic: Acheron, Blood Moon Assassin  (Read 4746 times)
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« Reply #15 on: January 15, 2007, 02:44:55 AM »

Wooooah! that's a short history there buddy. Must be great for your self confidence if you were coneived by rape, i think i'll have my orc just run around raping women for the betterment of the world. Just think of the great self esteem he'll be givin all those new kids.

Lol, that was just randomness, and i guess i'll stop posting on this thing, cuz any comments i would have are pretty much the same as those issues which are already being dealt with.
New Santharian

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Gender: Male
Posts: 9

Maelf, Kasumarii/Co'orhem

« Reply #16 on: January 15, 2007, 07:06:39 AM »

Ok Kain, hit me with your best shot. Again "PLEASE DON'T EAT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Thy death shall please thee Shadow," - Acheron, the Prophet of Coor  A quote from Noctis Runexus (a coming suggestion)
Kain Cristar
Divine Aspect
Approved Character
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Gender: Male
Posts: 588

Elf, Co'orhem Kayrrhem

« Reply #17 on: January 15, 2007, 08:43:27 AM »

Blue, a color suited to only the words of the Divine Aspect.

Height:..........1.7 Peds
Weight:.........1.3 Pygees
Race: .......... Maelf ? I'm sure I have never seen that before. Is it santhariarian?
Tribe:............Kasumarii / Co’orhem
Eyes: ............Sapphiric Blue
Hair: ............. Long, black
Skin: .............Pale brown
Title:.............The Blood Moon Assassin

Weapon:.......Moons of Coórut this out and just leave the weapon description (refer to Weapon Description)
Mount/Familiar:Fenrir cut this out and simply leave the familair description

follow the order laid out by the CD tutorial. Overview first. Weapon description is toward the bottom.

Weapon Description:
A unique double-sided moonblade, the Moons of Co'or is a blade I knew little of. The blades themselves are bloodred. My theory is that they are bloodred because of the blood of the enemies of my father, who killed for a living. Black steel handguards are accompanied with a silver-steel metal mix hilt. 1 ruby as bloodred as the blades are encrusted in each of the handguards. It was the inheritance from my now dead father, who was an assassin. The Moons of Co'or is my primary weapon. Also discuss the bow here, and I have a great idea for the redness of the blade. Perhaps it is forged of a steel using red iron, you can give it a wickedly black tinge by adding in some black iron to the blade. It makes perfect sense, and would give you the desired color. Read the wiki article on pattern folding and look up metals in the santharian main page. I think you are smart enough to give me a great explaination to your weapons strange color that will enhance this CD greatly, and give you one heckuva sword.

I was conceived by rape. My father was a mystery all my mom said was that that he was a Kasumarii Male. After my birth my mom had simply found a random family who wanted a baby and gave me to them.  She told them of my conceiving being a mistake and how she did not want me. After being brought up by that loving couple, they told me how I was not their real child and how I came to them. I decided that I would rather be brought by strangers than by someone who didn't want me. After I became of age, I left and started to explore the world. why? Perhaps you are looking for your father. On my travels I  encountered an old man who I could've sworn I knew but did not approach him. After finishing a small expedition to my mother's homeland of Nybelmar, but didn't even encounter one of the Co'orhem cities. Who raised you then, it doesn't make sence that your mother would sail out of Nybelmar in order to give a child away. The Co'orhem are not known for their child rearing skills, read the entry. Perhaps she left you on a road, for some reason unwilling to kill you. Then two wonderfull Kayrrem elves found you, and decided to raise you as their own. Things would have been fairly peacefull in that society, but perhaps you never fit in. You would often pull devious tricks as a small child, moving up to small theft and such petty crime. While others lived in the community and lived for the community, you were vain and self obsessed. Then you were kicked out, probably because of your behavior, perhaps as you got older and older you grew more and more wicked, until you killed. Perhaps you rejoiced in the blood and death, and perhaps you enjoyed watching your victim die, and felt a connection to something beyond your vain mortality. Something greater than Ava, perhaps in that killing you first felt the touch of Coor. After being run out you would continue to kill in coors name, becoming more and more skilled in your art. What if the wicked moon blades were not just these weapons forged for a father who never wanted you, but sacred blades aquired at some sort of temple of Coor, where you studied the art of killing. I wouldn't tell you to take that story, because it is not your own. I am suggesting you look out the box. Don't go from point a to point b trying to get this thing approved. Write a story involving this character who you love so much. Write a story about this seed of evil and wretchedness who revels in killing. This guy is an assassin and a prophet of Coor. The opportunity for evil and wickedness is beyond my scope of comprehention. You can really do some great things with this history. Read up on Coor and just go with it. After which I returned to the land where I saw that man, the continent of Cyhalloi. When I got there I found that he had died of shock. not only does this seem far fetched, it doesn't flow. Why would he die of shock, he is a rapist and an assassin. I doubt much surprises your father. I made inquiries with the local residents, and found that he was shocked to see some boy that he swore he knew just as I swore I knew him. This all seems too happy and father sonny. You are talking about a rapist assassin begetting a prophet of coor who enjoys killing. The swirling malevolence of these two men meeting is pretty vile. I knew at that moment that I was his son conceived by rape. Since I was his son I allowed myself into his home which was quite nice since he was a rather accomplished assassin in his day. It doesn't make sence that the Kassumarii would simply let you raid his house of his things. You are his son only by rape. They don't trust you and they probably don't like you. Not many people like hanging around a prophet of coor. There in his home I found the Moons of Co'or and the Frore Arbitraitor (refer to weapon des. for Moons ; refer to belongings for Arbitraitor). I decided to take the weapons and did. I continued my journies using these weapons and still use them to this day. Your history at this point fails to note how you became an assassin or a prophet of coor, and seems very far fetched and point a to point b ish. Write a story for me. Show off your character and all the things he has done, paint me a picture of his life. I want to see him cutting throats and maiming bodies in the name of a dark good, Preaching words of chaos and violence and opening the eyes of the masses to their subjugation by Ava. This man worships killing and coor, it don't get much cooler than that, work with it.


I wear black robes with a silver lining. The whole thing is made of silk. I think you could do something really cool with your clothes. Look at R'vahr's CD for some hints, he has a really extensive and elaborate Clothes section.

As a boy living in the forest I had to learn to use the bow for hunting. Here is something you could write about in your history. Perhaps your first kill was not an elf, but an animal. Perhaps you were obsessive, killing larger and larger prey as a young boy. Perhaps you would stalk the prey, and after decades of practice could sneak up behind a deer and slit its throat without it ever knowing you were there. As a result I developed a muscular, yet slim body. My most unique feature is the scar I acquired while hunting a white stag. I had been trailing the deer for three days when I had encountered the beast. At first I had thought it was just a regular doe, but it was actually a white bull stag. The moment it caught my scent it came charging toward me and its antlers slashed me. This could be a great story to put in your history. Consider the symbolism of you and this deer. It is white, pure and good. It is Ava. You are wretched and evil, you are coor. The two of you battle in a glorious bloodfest, till at last you stand over its torn body, heaving with the airs of your victory. Covered in your foes blood and wracked with his wounds. After that kill, you killed your first elf. This animal, to you, could be representitive of all that is good in this world, all that mocking glory and beauty. The scar began on my left side, under the rib cage, and traveled all the way to the top of my right shoulder. That is the only and most unique feature of my appearance. I think this character will have many more interesting features. What does his face look like, is he ugly? does he have long oily black hair, like his mothers people, or is he blond like his father. Is he boyish, with no body hair and soft slick skin, or masculine and rough, with thick facial hair and hardend features, a square jaw and scarred flesh. Personally I see him as more of a boyish person, perhaps even quite beautiful considering his mother's heritage.

I have a very pessimistic attitude with a crude humor to boot. Although it may seem I'm evil by appearance and personality, I really just try to help others. We talked about this before. An assassin and prophet of coor doesn't help people, he helps them die. This personality doesn't fit your character. Here is a walking bastion of evil, concieved of rape and learned in killing. Here is a man worshiping the dark god. Give him some personality, make him a person, let me see him as someone I wouldn't make eye contact with, someone I would run away from.

Great with using my double-sided moonblade. Excellent with archery skills.  As an assassin you better have more skills than this. You have to be able to kill without remorse, you have to be able to move like a shadow, to make not a sound, to be quick on your feet and quick of mind. You have to be skilled and capable. Also, you have a moonblade, that is a strength in and of itself. Think about all of your characters strengths as you are going to play them, list them out as single words in an outline, then add short descriptions of each word. That is how to do a good strengths and weaknesses section. Where is the Warg?

The speed of my enemy is the weakness of me. After learning how to use my double-sided moonblade by the Kasumarii, who had considered me one of them, although a wierd one, I practiced my archery abilities. A passerby saw my talent and decided to help me with that. Eventually he helped me until i excelled past most of his abilities. It doesn't make sence that an assasin would be slow, which is what I think you mean by your first sentence. You need weaknesses, you need good ones. I want psychologicial issues, perhaps obsessive killing. Maybe you HAVE to kill people on a regular basis, because when you end their lives, you feel as if you are touching divinity. The whole dynamic of death and divinity, assassin and prophet is a great one, work with it. What if you whisper constantly under your breath, reciting the learnings of Coor? Perhaps you have terrible night terrors, and cannot sleep. Perhaps you have a taste for blood, and regularly drink it. Maybe you have moments of "True lucidity" Where you drop into a sort of trance and annother personality takes over, one that is prone to screaming and hitting people and bursting into tears and laughter. There are alot of weaknesses for killers, especially psychologically.


An outcast by his own kind, Fenrir abandoned to the Celeste Mountains, near the town of Naurooth. I first encounter him when I had stopped at Naurooth to restock on provisions, arrows, and to sharpen my blade. I had stopped at the Inn around dusk and was there for about and hour or two. The whole time I had noticed how I was one of the only ones. Save for two groggy merchants, there was no one there. No residents, not even the local drunk, which I found odd. When eventually I retired to my room, I layed on the bed waiting for sleep to overtake me. The moment I heard that eerie howling I jumped up and ran to the window search for the source. There on a hilltop I saw it. The silver warg continued it's howl for what felt like an eternity. The whole time I was listening, I admired it. That stellar coat, that intimidating stature, the calm, yet ferocious howl. Everything about was as close to perfect as gets. The moment its howl ended my heart fell. As I returned to my bed I made the decision to befriend the magnificent creature. The next day I saddled a horse with all the possesions I had. I rode up to the Celeste Mtns. I noticed how hot it was and that the warg would never inhabit a place that opposed all of it's features. It's coat was designed to keep it warm, so it would live in a cold place. Once over the dangerous mountain tops, I saw the dark forest in the west. I knew at once that this was the place an exiled warg would live in. The whole I searched and searched for the creature, but to no avail. At last I decided to spend the night in Eldorin, the nearest town. As I walked back to my horse I found it gone, in it's place nothing but exactly three drops of blood. I cursed out loud. I was forced to walk all the way to the town. As I trudged up to the town gates, I heard a faint trot behind me. I whisked around Moons inhand. There was the behemoth and all three pygees of it. It stood 1.3 peds tall by 2.4 peds long, from snout to tail. On it's back was my saddle. I marveled at its intelligence and how it managed to get the burdening thing on. I named the beast Fenrir and it became my mount, familiar, and best friend on my journies. My silver warg, Fenrir, is a possible descendant of Vackra. It is not official yet, because I am not quite sure if the Administrators will allow it. I am almost completely sure that no one will have a problem with your wolf having some of Vackra's blood in it, after all there are probably thousands of wolves with some of her blood in them. It is still too large, especially as a male. I want him within the range of the normal Warg size in the entry, or at least very close. This story is good, and it shows me that you can make imaginitive scenarios if you put your mind to it. Thats all I am asking you to do, put your mind to this, churn something out. This story belongs in your history section, but as it is it wont fly. Perhaps you see the wolf first in your dreams (perhaps linking it to the night terrors weakness, if you wanted to) and are driven to this place to find this wolf. then you are going through these towns and catching gimpses of a gaint wolf, and hearing its howls. You follow it into the forest and dismount, walking into the cold darkness to pray. When you open your eyes, you are looking straight into the eyes of this wolf. It is all that you worship, it is hate, wickedness, death and bloodshed. Then it speaks to you, and you understand. What if this animal states that it is Coor's will that the two of you are together. The two of you then work as a team, killing and worshiping together.

My belongings are my clothes and my inheritance, which is all from my father's side. The Moons of Co'or is a double-sided moonblade (refer to weapon des.). The Frore Arbitraitor is a longbow that is a deep-shade of teal. The string has been dyed a deep black that is as dark as midnight. It is my ranged weapon if I am to far to attack using the Moons of Co'or.

Alright, I think I have given you the ammunition, you just need to fire the guns.

Look over these two CD's I have written. R'vahr has a familiar and a nice clothing section and description section. Kain has a tinge of evil to him, was born of rape, and is written fairly well.


Kain Cristar

You have lived a life of cruelty and atrocity, you have bathed in the blood of the innocent, you have considered every act of depravity and your corruption knows no bounds. I am the angel of justice, I am the accumulation of all of your sins. Prepare for your redemption.

-Kain Cristar, Divine Aspect
Kain Cristar
Divine Aspect
Approved Character
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 588

Elf, Co'orhem Kayrrhem

« Reply #18 on: January 15, 2007, 08:51:00 AM »

Got some new ideas for you.

First I need to know something, How do you want this character to play, what do you want him to be.
I keep on thinking about the personality section, and about how you said you want him to help people. If you want that than you are you going to work the whole assassin prophet thing? If you don't than I suggest you read the Wiki article on Serial Killers. It might give you some insight on why, psychologically, this person kills people, and might give you some insight into his mind.

I don't want to take over your character, the premise simply filled me with ideas that I am tossing out. You don't have to use any of them.

Secondly, for weaknesses, you are going to need alot of strong weaknesses to make you balanced, with the wolf and the sword and the assassin skills. If you go with my idea for how you are raised (the one with being left in the forest and found by Kayrrem, which you don't have to use) Perhaps you were out there for so long that you developed physical weaknesses which you have never been able to grow out of. Maybe you are sickly in appearance and very weak, perhaps you developed a weakness to the sun and burn easily under its rays, maybe you are easily short of breath, and get exhausted very quickly, maybe you can't speak above a strong whisper, because your throat is damaged. Think of weaknesses that give you character. A character with character is a great character.


You have lived a life of cruelty and atrocity, you have bathed in the blood of the innocent, you have considered every act of depravity and your corruption knows no bounds. I am the angel of justice, I am the accumulation of all of your sins. Prepare for your redemption.

-Kain Cristar, Divine Aspect
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