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Author Topic: Jeréth Ancalídormis, Hunter/Healer (Old)  (Read 18060 times)
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Prince Erebus
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« on: January 11, 2007, 04:11:23 PM »

--Name:...........Jeréth Ancalídormis
--Age:.............1300 a.S. (367 years old)
--Height:..........2.2 Peds
--Weight:.........2.8 Pygges
--Race: .......... Elf
--Tribe:............Mélad'rhím
--Eyes: ............Predominantly silver but contains blue
--Hair: ............. Shoulder length white hair
--Skin: .............Very Pale
--Occupation:....Hunter/Healer
--Title:.............The Hand of Armeros


Physical Appearance:
His complexion is very pale, almost light gray. His face is sharp and has angular features, with elf-ears that point almost sideways. his hair is a bit longer than shoulder length and is naturally pure white streaked with silver. His eyes are very haunting to look at, they are a pale silver color with a slight blue along the outside edge. His overall body type is common to his tribe, he has a more muscular tone than other elves, and his shoulders are broader than others as well. He has 5 tattoos in gray ink: 1 tattoo of interlocking lines on each of his upper arms; 2 triangle shaped tattoos on his face, one on each cheek; and 1 tattoo of interlocking lines on his pubic area.

Clothes:
He almost always wears thick, uniform gray robes under a large-ragged black cloak, which looks rather like a wraith’s cloak when the hood is up. Couple that with his haunting eyes and his powerful deep voice, he can easily cause extreme fear in others.

Personality:
He is naturally suspicious, but is trusting none the less, unless an individual has done something to make him wary. He’s rather mellow but he always had a sad look on his timeless face, which gives him an powerful elegance. He has a firm, deep voice that seems to magnify when he’s angered. When he comes across a new person he is neutral in his feelings toward the person, and let’s their actions speak for their personalities. Most people find him to be a warm-hearted elf that is generous and trustworthy. When it comes to members of the opposite sex, he is strangely seductive and alluring, even when he’s not trying. He never wears his emotions on his sleeve, but not afraid to speak his mind. Even though he will speak his mind, he is almost always calm, rarely getting upset.

----History:
I had an odd childhood. For one, I cannot remember most of it, due to a cold I contracted at five winters, losing most of my memories prior and slightly after, but other than that I was unaffected. During my seventh summer my father taught me how to hunt, as he discovered that I found gathering nuts, fruits, and berries very taxing and boring to boot.

I grew adept at herb-lore as the years went by, This was mainly a side effect of my mother's passing, for she was our healer. I began my training during my twelve years for my tribes needed a new healer to make remedies or potions. Near my 23th winter I encountered some human children of the Kuglimz tribe, hiding from an Argrothin bear, they had killed her only cub. I tried to scare the bear off by throwing rocks at her but she wouldn't back down.

I drew a spear and hurled at the bear, which hit her in the left back leg. This angered her but she returned to reaching into the crevice where the children lay. I threw another rock at her, she turned away from the terror-struck children and charged at me and I dodged her claw and rolled away from her. I picked up another spear and threw it with all my might.

The spear entered the bear's shoulder. She lost her balance from the pain, making her fall on the spear shaft, breaking the spear off in the wound and driving it in deeper. I stood there with another spear in my hands for a few seconds in shock, then I turned away and vomited. I couldn't believe I survived the encounter so I was very nervous and I felt ill.

After I awoke from the shock, I got the children to come out of the crack in the waterfall cave and took them back to their encampment. The Kuglimz thanked me with many gifts but I told them that I could not accept them. They told me they would dearly like to repay me for my deed so I settled with a basket of odd spears they obtained threw trade with the Cholians, a small amount of cloth and leather and some Alth'mon. I thanked them for their generosity and wished them farewell.

I became a husband to the most beautiful woman in my tribe, Morwen Telemnar, during my 97th summer. I loved her with all my heart, but it didn't last. One winter later, she died in childbirth. After this I lost much of my will to live, I drifted through life without hope or happiness. I wanted to die and end it, Near the end I decided that life was too harsh. I tried to kill myself.  I will not explain how, for it pains me to think of it. The god's must of intervened, for I survived and became more than the pathetic fool that wandered through life. I became the best Hunter in my tribe at the time and my knowledge of herb-lore surpassed all others. I became a priest for the temple, Avá’ewelín, and remained there for many winters.

When I reached my 137th birthday, I decided to leave the temple to live amongst the Centoraurian tribe. I purchased a Black Kev'lor Warhorse from an odd trader, I think he may have been a thief but I didn't think upon it anymore. I renamed her Wraith, as her coat shimmered with an unearthly glow at times.

I remained with the Centoraurian tribe for a few winters, learning more about weapons such as lances and swords, and fought at the revolt at Vardynn but left before it went far. I traveled and took up residence in the Mithral Mountains at 123 winters and remained there for another 142 winters.

I became bored with the mountain’s beauty and left during my 265th spring. I wandered through Southern Santharia and back to Northern Santharia, and returned to my tribe and father. I remained with him until he died at 589 winters (366 winters for me) and traveled to where I now sit, on the banks of the Southern Foothills, in a small camp, thinking upon my life.

Weapon Description:
Double-Edged Scythelance with a head made of Steel, this head has small notches along the edge, which contain small shards of obsidian. These shards are screwed into the head which allow for a quick repair. Jeréth has a large bag of them for repairs.

The shaft is made of a stained composite wood sanded down to remove imperfections.  A thin layer of goat fat covers the shaft to prevent water damage, which can spoil the wood.

Various Blessings, many of which are of the god Armeros, are engraved down its entire length and filled with silver caps adding beauty.


      ---Strengths---

---Battle hardened:
Due to his extensive combat training, He has gained nerves of steel and a mind as sharp as iron as well as a powerful physique. In combat, He is precise and calculated, making measured attacks calmly.

---Scythes:
He trained from the age 7 to use a staff and holds a near timeless knowledge of their strengths, weaknesses, combat styles, etc.

---Hunting/Tracking:
Raised in a nomadic tribe and later the life of a wanderer, has given him a near limitless ability to track and hunt, both animals and higher races alike.

---Herb-lore:
His mother was the main healer in his tribe. She taught him about plants and their uses at a young age. When she died, he trained further and took up the position of healer in her place. He traveled later in life and learned about everything there is to know about plants and other objects used in healing.


      ---Weaknesses---

Blackouts:
He suffers from blackouts when under extreme stress or pressure. When he becomes conscious, he is unaware of what happened and can’t remember where he is.

Looks:
Because of his appearance, he cannot blend in very well with his surroundings, making it hard for him to hide from others.

An Apathetic Aura:
Due to the loss of his first love, he often seems distant and sad. The sadness his body seems to give off through his aura tends to spread to others around him. Most will only feel mildly uncomfortable, more empathetic people can sometimes feel his 'pain'.

Weapons:
2 Double-Edges

Belongings:
2 Weapons
2 Thick gray robes
1 Large-ragged black cloak
1 Duffel bag to carry food, clothes, etc.
2 Wedding bands (one belonged to his wife and the other belongs to him)
« Last Edit: January 16, 2009, 07:53:37 AM by Kalína Mërénwèn » Logged
Leida Kereborn
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Human, Helcrani


« Reply #1 on: January 11, 2007, 10:50:13 PM »

Just looking over this, I think you'll need quite a bit more detail.  "Very muscular" for the physical description isn't enough; we need to be able to see Jereth walking down the street.  Is he very tall, does he walk confidently or with a limp?  Does he have scars or tattoos, or maybe a constant glare?   The personality leads to be lengthened, as this, next to history (which is also missing) is the most important thing about your character.  A grim outlook doesn't tell us how he goes about every day, whether he is talkative or silent, whether he enjoys other's company or not, why he is so grim (no one is born unhappy!) etc.  Take a look at some of the other approved CD's to get an idea. 

Also, none of this character seems to go with the Ak'vath'rhim lifestyle.  He's a warrior (they live in their own self-importance), is running about in Southern Sarvonia (Ak'vath'rhim generally think they're the only living creatures left in Caelereth), and uses fire (they are skilled in water, and nothing seems to be mentioned about fire).  You could easily fix these by picking a different tribe, or reading through the whole Ak'vath'rhim article. 

Lastly, some basic things the mods will scold you about before they even read over your cd: you can't use mithral in your CD (restricted item, not mined anymore) and you can't have someone who--apparently, though the description is very vague--who is skilled in both weapons and magic.  It makes them too powerful. 

Good luck!
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"They'll build a statue of us, then later say it's all our fault."

"Wherever you go, you have your rump behind you."
Prince Erebus
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« Reply #2 on: January 12, 2007, 06:39:09 AM »

thank you, Leida Kereborn, i have mad some changes to better suite me and my class.
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Leida Kereborn
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« Reply #3 on: January 12, 2007, 07:02:33 AM »

It's looking much better already, though a history section is still missing.  You should have the pencil icon up if your CD is missing sections, so people don't come telling you that sections are missing (like me, ha).  I'll read through the whole thing later when I'm feeling less lazy. :)
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"They'll build a statue of us, then later say it's all our fault."

"Wherever you go, you have your rump behind you."
Prince Erebus
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« Reply #4 on: January 12, 2007, 07:31:59 AM »

that part i hate but i'll do it in a hour or so.
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Prince Erebus
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« Reply #5 on: January 12, 2007, 09:24:43 AM »

history section complete
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Prince Erebus
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« Reply #6 on: January 15, 2007, 03:28:27 AM »

yes, i believe the CD is finished...
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Kain Cristar
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« Reply #7 on: January 16, 2007, 08:11:20 AM »

Well, a complete CD requires a complete look over by a completely awesome person. Coments will be completely blue

Name:...........Jereth Ancalídormis
Age:.............47 That is immensely young for an elf. Try using the elven aging calculator thats on the main site, use the search function.
Height:..........2.2 Peds
Weight:.........2.8 Pygees
Race: .......... Elf
Tribe:............Mélad'rhím
Eyes: ............stone gray
Hair: ............. 3 inches of spikey-white hair Is he so vain that he actually goes through the energy to spike up his hair, it would be difficult to do on a regular basis, and isn't really a common hair style.
Skin: .............Very Pale
Occupation:....Tracker/Alchemist
Title:.............The Hand of Armeros

Weapon:.......Sparth Spear called Quicktongue
Mount/Familiar: Wraithkin (Kev'lor Warhorse)



Weapon Description:
Sparth Spear: has a rough but very very sharp triangular head made of adamant Diamond? That is a very brittle spearhead. Decorative?. The shaft is made of hard wood that has been sanded down to its core to remove imperfections. A thin layer of goat fat covers the shaft to prevent damage from water that can spoil the wood. intricate Carvings  of the blessing of Armeros are engraved down its entire length and filled with silver caps adding grip. As spearheads tend to get caught into the flesh, muscle and bones of their enemy, Jereth had a back cut on it to remove this annoying side-effect due to the head's value, which is substantial. Very substantial, you are going to need a good reason to have such an expensive spear head.

Mount Description:
Wraithkin: Black Kev'lor Warhorse with silver mane, tail and lower hair on legs. red eyes. 6 fores high. about 245 hebs. You are going to need a reason as to how you aquired this animal, it is a kuglimz horse. Also the coloration needs to fit the description.

History:
   Jereth had an odd childhood, for one he can’t remember most of it because he got a cold at 5 and lost most of his memories prior to it and slightly after it but other than that he was unaffected. he was rather tall for his age and unnaturally strong, which the latter got him a bad reputation as a bully even though he never did anything to anyone. why? He learned early that no one, save his mother, would help him hunt Deer or gather nuts, fruits, or berries. why? was he ugly?

   He grew adept at tracking and herblore at a young age because of his partial exile from his tribe. I don't understand why he is exiled. Elves don't dislike someone simply because he is tall, they are all tall. He later redeemed himself from that unfair judgement when he saved some fellow children by killing an Argrothin Bear with 3 short-spears near the Mountains of Oro when they all wandered off to track some Woolly Boars. I cannot imagine how a child could defeat a bear in combat When he reached his 13th birthday he gained a friend for life, Wraithkin, his Black Kev'lor Warhorse that had been bred for him You are going to need a better story than that. He would be very young at that age.. Then on his 17th birthday, With his horse, he left his tribe on his first real adventure. That is a very young elf to leave the tribe.

   He traveled south and began hunting and tracking bounties for a living when he was 21. Why would this elf want to be a bounty hunter? It doesn't fit the elvish mindset. He failed many times until he traded some weapons he’d taken as payment for a Sparth Spear. He was amazed by its simplicity yet effectiveness in battle. He traveled for 6 years studying Cholian designs while improving upon his Sparth.

   Near his 28th birthday he took on one bounty that was a godsend. he was tracking a human who stole priceless gems from The Bone Queen of Fá'áv'cál'âr south of that kingdom. Impossbile. Firstly no human could steal anything from her without her wanting him too. He would just be a play thing to her, before she broke him. He found and he killed the man and returned the gems.There is no way you would be so stupid as to actively look for the bone queen. She would kill you if she saw you.

   The Bone Queen asked him if he wanted any reward for his service. He declined and turned to exit when he herd a loud clank behind him, he turned to see a adamant gem the size of a small cat. He told her he couldn’t accept it. It was worth far more than him. Impossible. She wouldn't do that.

   She in turn told him that he could use it in making a new weapon, like a spear... he left the kingdom and hired some dwarves to shape it into a spear head resembling the one on his sparth. They did this but brought up its combat effectiveness to his attention. Read some of the stories on the bone queen, not only are they quite good, they paint a picture of a woman entirely different than the woman you portray.

   He remembered that the heads tended to break off in the enemy making it almost impossible to remove from the corpse after use. They looked at it and added what they called a back cut. They said that they did this to hand-drills so they wouldn’t dull so easily and didn’t get jammed in rocks.

   After the sparth was finished he tried it out on some trees in front their cave. The sparth easily went through 5,6 even 7 trees without getting stuck, which gave loose on a gentle pull from the tree. He left with a smile and his coin bag empty to continue his adventure. Alot of your history simply doesn't fit. He sounds more like a human than an elf. I would cut out interacting with the bone queen. I would think that a diamond blade would crack. Perhaps if it had small shards of daimond imbeded into the blade that would be more sencible. I am thinking something like an aztec spear, but with diamond instead of obsidian. It would be ineffective against armored foes, but truely devistating against soft targets. I can't imagine the haft, you, or the spearhead not breaking when you slam it into a tree.


Appearance:

Clothes-
1/10 inch thick Black-Leather leggings with inner fur linings for warmth and Iron boots with Black-Leather linings. Fine iron chain-mail to help turn arrows underneath a Black-Leather Vest with inner fur linings. iron bracer's with spines on the outer-forearm to catch sword swings.

Physical-
Athletic body with powerful limbs. tattoos of interlocking lines on upper arms, tattoo of interlocking lines on his lower chest (just north of his "area") Simply describing the tattoo as being near his naval might be more apt., and a line tattoo of a Dravilonia on his upper chest. many battle scars with many causes covering upper arms, chest, legs, and one large scar on his left cheekbone.

Personality: Very intelligent with kindness and compassion, very respectful, often never talks around others unless spoken to (unless it is a woman). grim humor and a love for the ladies (goes gah-gah over high-beauty elves). thought to be a bit of a womanizer although no one can prove it.

Strengths:
Spear: Grew up hunting or fishing with spears but he began learning the ways of battle at 13.
Herblore: Due to his peoples nomadic lifestyle he often practiced alchemy and herblore to cure wounds and diseases inflicting his people.
Tracking: he's very good at tracking due to his origins

Weaknesses:
Pride: Very proud and it can be hurt easily. Anyone can be proud and everyone can be hurt fairly easily
Temper: He's set off easily and will attack without mercy, which tends to get him in a lot of trouble. Not much of a weakness. I have a temper, I do just fine.
Mélad'rhím Nomadic Lifestyles: Due to Mélad'rhím lifestyles he often is overwhelmed by large cities and their large population and will get lost for hours on end.

I want to see some real weaknesses.

Familiars:
Wraithkin, his Black Kev'lor Warhorse. bred for him at a the end of his 13th winter. Why is this horse bred for him? Why would a kuglimz give him a well bred horse, that is quite a gift.

Belongings:
his leather and iron armor, his adamant-head sparth spear he calls Quicktongue, a large bag of coins, and a silver necklace that belonged to his mother.
Logged

You have lived a life of cruelty and atrocity, you have bathed in the blood of the innocent, you have considered every act of depravity and your corruption knows no bounds. I am the angel of justice, I am the accumulation of all of your sins. Prepare for your redemption.

-Kain Cristar, Divine Aspect
Prince Erebus
Guest
« Reply #8 on: January 16, 2007, 02:10:02 PM »

answer to Kain Cristar

I will do my answer in Red and change things in yellow

Well, a complete CD requires a complete look over by a completely awesome person. Comments will be completely blue   I doubt this fact

--Name:...........Jereth Ancalídormis
--Age:.............107 That is immensely young for an elf. Try using the elven aging calculator that is on the main site, use the search function. This I have done a long time ago but I will age him from 47 to 107
--Height:..........2.2 Peds
--Weight:.........2.8 Pygees
--Race: .......... Elf
--Tribe:............Mélad'rhím
--Eyes: ............stone gray
--Hair: ............. 3 inches of spikey-white hair Is he so vain that he actually goes through the energy to spike up his hair, it would be difficult to do on a regular basis, and isn't really a common hair style. He's not vain, he just enjoys being a little different and he's in a warmer climate now so short hair is easier to manage
--Skin: .............Very Pale
--Occupation:....Tracker/Alchemist
--Title:.............The Hand of Armeros
--Weapon:.......Sparth Spear called Quicktongue
--Mount/Familiar: Wraithkin (Kev'lor Warhorse)



Weapon Description: Jereth’s spear has a rough but very very sharp triangular head made of adamant Diamond? That is a very brittle spearhead. Decorative? Diamond or Adamant is the hardest element in existence so I doubt its brittle. The shaft is made of hard wood that has been sanded down to its core to remove imperfections. A thin layer of goat fat covers the shaft to prevent damage from water that can spoil the wood. intricate Carvings  of the blessing of Armeros are engraved down its entire length and filled with silver caps adding grip. As spearheads tend to get caught into the flesh, muscle and bones of their enemy, Jereth had a back cut on it to remove this annoying side-effect due to the head's value, which is substantial. Very substantial, you are going to need a good reason to have such an expensive spear head. Stated in history section

---Mount Description: Black Kev'lor Warhorse with silver mane, tail and lower hair on legs. red eyes. 6 fores high. about 245 hebs. You are going to need a reason as to how you acquired this animal, it is a kuglimz horse. Also the coloration needs to fit the description. See History Section

----History: Jereth had an odd childhood, for one he can’t remember most of it because he got a cold at 5 and lost most of his memories prior to it and slightly after it but other than that he was unaffected. he was rather tall for his age and unnaturally strong, which the latter got him a bad reputation as a bully even though he never did anything to anyone. why? His Unnatural strength lead to this belief He learned early that no one, save his mother, would help him hunt Deer or gather nuts, fruits, or berries. why? was he ugly? he was shunted for his bullying rep

   He grew adept at tracking and herblore at a young age because of his partial exile from his tribe. I don't understand why he is exiled. Elves don't dislike someone simply because he is tall, they are all tall. It's was because he could lift 2 hebs by the age of 5 via his unnatural strength and it wasn't an actual exile, but rather a exile from their respect as they feared he was evil or a demon of some sort. (I know the reason for his strength but I’m not going to just state it to everyone.) He later redeemed himself from that unfair judgement when he saved some fellow children by killing an Argrothin Bear with 3 short-spears near the Mountains of Oro when they all wandered off to track some Woolly Boars. I cannot imagine how a child could defeat a bear in combat okay...  Step 1: I lift a spear and throw it into the bear’s face. Step 2: The spear enters the bear’s face. Step 3: The bear, now with a spear in his face, goes down. Step 4: The bear dies. Step 5: I throw 2 more spears into the bear to make sure its dead. Any questions?

When he reached his 13th birthday he gained a friend for life, Wraithkin, his Black Kev'lor Warhorse that had been bred for him by his tribe so that he could travel alone, which was his wish. You are going to need a better story than that. He would be very young at that age.. Added portion above Then on his 17th birthday, With his horse, he left his tribe on his first real adventure. That is a very young elf to leave the tribe. Maybe... but every elf is different.

   He traveled south and began hunting and tracking bounties for a living when he was 21. he accepted such a job because he believes that justice must and will be served (this stems from his unfair childhood). Why would this elf want to be a bounty hunter? It doesn't fit the elvish mind set. who decides how they think, you? He failed many times until he traded some weapons he’d taken as payment for a Sparth Spear. He was amazed by its simplicity yet effectiveness in battle. He traveled for 6 years studying Cholian designs while improving upon his Sparth.

    Near his 28th winter he was wandering in the kingdom of Fá'áv'cál'âr (he didn't know where he was because he wanders around and has no real destination or map). he was attacked and captured by guards and taken to a courtroom where he was charged with theft of gems. he protested to this charge and struck a deal for his life, he was to track the culprit and return the gems. he searched the treasure room until he found what he was looking for, some foot prints of light ash, they where that of a night elf. he left the bone queen's sanctuary, under watchful eye of a guard so he couldn't run for it.

 he searched for any tracks  near the castle. He found some and ‘followed’ them to the owner of them.
Impossible. Firstly no human could steal anything from her without her wanting him too. He would just be a play thing to her, before she broke him. Changed to night elf and know one knows everything happening in their kingdom.
He found and he killed the Night elf and returned the gems. There is no way you would be so stupid as to actively look for the bone queen. She would kill you if she saw you. I didn't go looking for anything, I wandered into the kingdom.
The Bone Queen cleared him of any false judgement and gave him an official title, The Hand of Armeros.

She then asked him if he wanted any reward for his service. He declined and turned to exit when he heard a loud clank behind him, he turned to see a adamant gem the size of a small cat. He told her he couldn’t accept it. It was worth far more than him. Impossible. She wouldn't do that. you sure know her well (she’s a Mythological figure so you don’t know how she’d react to such a moment).

   She in turn told him that he could use it in making a new weapon, like a spear... he left the kingdom and hired some dwarves to shape it into a spear head resembling the one on his sparth. They did this but brought up its combat effectiveness to his attention. Read some of the stories on the bone queen, not only are they quite good, they paint a picture of a woman entirely different than the woman you portray. I didn’t say she liked me or she was happy but she has honour and her past would cause her to react this way.

   He remembered that the heads tended to break off in the enemy making it almost impossible to remove from the corpse after use. They looked at it and added what they called a back cut. They said that they did this to hand-drills so they wouldn’t dull so easily and didn’t get jammed in rocks.

   After the sparth was finished he tried it out on some trees in front their cave. The sparth easily went through 5 trees without getting stuck, which gave loose on a gentle pull from the tree. He left with a smile and his coin bag empty to continue his adventure. A lot of your history simply doesn't fit. He sounds more like a human than an elf. I would cut out interacting with the bone queen. I would think that a diamond blade would crack. Perhaps if it had small shards of diamond imbeded into the blade that would be more sensible. I am thinking something like an Aztec spear, but with diamond instead of obsidian. It would be ineffective against armored foes, but truly devastating against soft targets. I can't imagine the haft, you, or the spearhead not breaking when you slam it into a tree. ah, micro blades of the Aztecs. Hell no... pardon the language but no... obsidian is one of the weakest rocks in existence, even wood is harder than obsidian. Diamond won’t break even if it hits a iron tree

----Clothes: 1/10 inch thick Black-Leather leggings with inner fur linings for warmth and Iron boots with Black-Leather linings. Fine iron chain-mail to help turn arrows underneath a Black-Leather Vest with inner fur linings. iron bracer's with spines on the outer-forearm to catch sword swings.

----Physical: Athletic body with powerful limbs. tattoos of interlocking lines on upper arms, tattoo of interlocking lines on his lower chest, just north of his naval, and a line tattoo of a Dravilonia on his upper chest. many battle scars with many causes covering upper arms, chest, legs, and one large scar on his left cheekbone.

----Personality: Very intelligent with kindness and compassion, very respectful, often never talks around others unless spoken to (unless it is a woman). grim humor and a love for the ladies (goes gah-gah over high-beauty elves). thought to be a bit of a womanizer although no one can prove it.

----Strengths:
--Strength: Unnatural strength he’s had since he was young. (I will give the reason for this on moderator’s request via Private Message)
–Staves: Grew up hunting or fishing with spears but he began learning the ways of battle at 13.
--Herblore: Due to his peoples nomadic lifestyle he often practiced alchemy and herblore to cure wounds and diseases inflicting his people.
--Tracking: he's very good at tracking due to his origins

----Weaknesses:
--Intelligence: He grew up always on the move so he never really had much of a education.
--Mélad'rhím Nomadic Lifestyles: Due to Mélad'rhím lifestyles he often is overwhelmed by large cities and their large population and will get lost for hours on end.
--Nearsighted, figuratively: lives in the now, poor at planning long-term, doesn't think anything through so he makes crucial mistakes.
--wanderlust: he cannot make himself stay in one place for too long or he will begin to hallucinate, eventually becoming paranoid, and sooner or later he’ll start attacking others unprovoked.

----Familiars: Wraithkin, his Black Kev'lor Warhorse. bred for him by his tribe at a the end of his 13th winter.

----Belongings: his leather and iron armor, his adamant-head sparth spear he calls Quicktongue, a large bag of coins, and a silver chain necklace that belonged to his mother.
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Leida Kereborn
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Human, Helcrani


« Reply #9 on: January 16, 2007, 02:32:29 PM »

Jereth, try to avoid telling people they're wrong when they comment on your CD, especially people who have more experience in Santharia like Kain.  He's not telling you these things because of some arbitrary rules, but because they don't make sense in the world of Caelereth.  Though you say things like, "Spear enters bear's face" it just isn't plausible that a small boy would have the fortitude and clarity of mind to stand there against an oncoming bear and launch a spear with enough force and strength and proper aim to impale a bear.  Just take his comments into consideration rather than saying "No, your wrong, because 'everyone is different'."  It's a little disrespectful and presumptuous to say you know more when you're not even titled.

But that's just my two sans.  I've already read through the CD before and given my comments.  :)
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Prince Erebus
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« Reply #10 on: January 16, 2007, 02:38:44 PM »

for my past arrogance i am deeply sorry, i'm not in the most happy of moods. forgive me.


Armeros, i've dishonoured you.
« Last Edit: January 16, 2007, 02:39:54 PM by Jereth Ancalídormis » Logged
Leida Kereborn
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Human, Helcrani


« Reply #11 on: January 16, 2007, 02:41:33 PM »

That's ok, we all have bad days.  Just try to incorporte Kain's comments instead of disputing them.  Trust me, he knows what he's talking about (took my CD in a whole new direction!).  :D
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"They'll build a statue of us, then later say it's all our fault."

"Wherever you go, you have your rump behind you."
Prince Erebus
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« Reply #12 on: January 16, 2007, 02:49:38 PM »

indeed but i hate when we must be the same as everyone else. (occupation, steriotypes, etc.)
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« Reply #13 on: January 16, 2007, 03:06:02 PM »

Who says you have to be the same as everyone else?  There are, of course, certain rules and restrictions you have to play by, as in all games, but there's literally a whole world here where your character can thrive without encountering mythical characters are performing unreasonable feats.  He shouldn't be completely plain, of course, for that makes for boring playing, but he should be realistic.  Your guy's an alchemist, so maybe he's spent his life tracking rare and exotic materials to transform into gold.  Have fun with it!  There's no reason you can't abide by basic restrictions and norms and still be an intensely interesting and diverse character. 
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"They'll build a statue of us, then later say it's all our fault."

"Wherever you go, you have your rump behind you."
Prince Erebus
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« Reply #14 on: January 16, 2007, 03:11:06 PM »

i know and fully agree with you but some things he stated got me angered. diamonds are not brittle and why must a person be vain if he wears his hair different than what is acceptable. elves are not always pure so why can't they be bounty hunters. and between you and I, his spelling and grammar  are Atrocious
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