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- THE CD FORUM POSTICON SYSTEM -

Below is a summary on the posticons used for the character description approval process. The posticon of the first post should always be edited according to the current state of completion of the character description (either by the player, a Moderator or an Administrator).
1) PLAYER - CD is incomplete. Use this posticon if you have not finished your CD.  4) MODERATOR - CD has been approved by one moderator. A second mod's approval is needed.
 2) PLAYER - CD is completed. Use this if you have finished working on your CD.  5) MODERATOR - CD has been approved by two moderators. An Administrator should soon take care of the titling.
 3) MODERATOR - An expert's opinion is needed. The specific field in which the expert's help is needed should be added to the title.  6) ADMINISTRATOR - An administrator has titled the character, and the thread will soon be moved to the CD Archives.
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Author Topic: Glásáj Raház // Sevari // Thief  (Read 5267 times)
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Glásáj
New Santharian

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Gender: Female
Posts: 19



« on: January 19, 2007, 05:19:07 AM »

Name,
Glásáj Raház

Gender,
Female

Age,
134

Race,
Elf

Tribe,
Coór'hém Tribe (The Sevari)

Occupation,
None

Title,
Bandit

Physical Appearance,
Like one of the things her species is known for she has snow-pale skin and dark eyes; hers are a dark brown. She is tall and slim with curves, a very womanly figure, and practically flawless skin. She has raven colored hair usually braided, and incredibly long, hanging to just above her knees. She has quite a few tattoos, most of them black roses. Her lips are usually painted a bright red, her eyelids are usually painted dark purple and her nails are usually painted pitch-blade. She is scarred from battle, she's missing her right pinky, and under her left eye is a pale pink slash from a guard's dagger.

Clothes,
She wears a black leather sleeveless shirt that ends just below her chest, just like the females of hers species are known for, she wears tight-fitting clothes like her black leather pants. She also wears black leather boots and dark purple, almost black, leather gloves. She wears tons of jewelry, her wrists are smothered by silver bangles, and her gloved fingers are covered by silver rings some with onyx in them. On her neck she wore a black leather collar-like piece on her neck with a small silver coin dangling from it. Her ears are covered with silver hoop earring, she has a onyx gemstone on her left eyebrow, and a small silver hoop on her bellybutton.

Personality,
She is mysterious, she doen't like to share her past with anyone, she's quiet and doesn't talk much, when she does dark she's usually cold, cruel and sharp. She's fierce in battle and doesn't like to fail at anything. She stopped trusting others a long time ago. Though when drunk she acts totally differently, once drunk she usually won't shut up and answers any question asked, she's kind and bubly, kind of peppy and jumpy.

Strengths And Weaknesses,

Strengths,
1) Incredible Aim With Her Bow And Arrow
2) Good With Her Daggers, Can Pin A Fly To A Wall From 10 Peds Away
3) She Is Nimble-Fingered, Stealthy, And Quick, She Uses Her Beauty To Get Close To Men And Relieve Them Of Precious Possessions

Weaknesses,
1) Vain In Battle, Often Underestimates The Opponent
2) She Despises Closed Spaces, And Acts Odd When In Them, She Gets Paranoid In Small Rooms Or Narrow Caves
3) Her Eyesight Is Somewhat Clouded In Daylight


History,
Her dark brown eyes glistened happily up into the faces of her parents, she stretched out her short arm for them, lying in the crib. Her mother's dark blue eyes also glimmered, but hers glimmered with tears and sadness. Her father's black eyes were intent, they seemed angry... Her mother's face turned to her Father's "must we?" She asked, her voice quivering. He nodded. "I know someone who can watch over her, but we must put our duties first." He said sternly. She nodded and wiped the tears from her dark blue eyes. She bent over and kissed the baby gently on the forehead. "Never forget us." She said with a half smile. "We must go now." He said and grabbed her arm. The baby closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.
~5 years later~
She stood at only 1 ped, her black hair up in a bun. "Glásáj." Said the woman at the oven. "Yes Yráná?" She asked. "Can you go up to the town square and get some bread?" Yráná asked. Glásáj nodded and smiled. She walked out of the house, closing the door behind her. She walked down the cobblestone path, she looked at the forest, "I'll just take a shortcut..." She mumbled and started through a small section of the forest instead of going around it. She walked for a while, then a man walked in front of her in a dark red cloak, his face and body were concealed. She looked up at him. "Glásáj." He said, she was taken aback that he knew her name but replied "yes?" All the same. "Yráná can't fend for you forever, you know, I've been watching over you ever since your parents left. You have progressed much in those few years." He said.  She smiled "thank you, Sir, but what do you want to tell me?" She asked. "You'll have to learn to earn your own money, learn a craft, a jeweler would be a good trade, but thievery's what really earns the gold." He said, then walked off. She got the bread and returned to her home, but Yráná was gone.
~40 years later~
"Cár'scál!" She called through the shop. The tall jeweler walked out of his office and into the room she was working in. "Yes?" He asked. "Well," she began while cutting a ruby to fit the golden bracelet. "I was wondering if you knew anything about my parents?" She asked. Cár'scál's forehead started dripping sweat, he coughed as if choking on something, then he said. "Nope, back to work." He said and quickly scrambled out of the room she was working in. She fit the jewel into the braceket and walked outside, she handed it to the customer then walked back in. "Cár'scál! I'm going on my break now!" She yelled up to him and walked out of the jewelry shop. 'Thievery's really what earns the gold.' She thought, remembering the man.
~20 years later~
Sae'llán had taken her in and in return she would teach Sae'llán to make jewelry. "Sae'llán! I'm going out!" She called, she was a young woman now, and had slowly taught herself to be a thief. She walked out of the house, she went up to a merchant stand. "Mister, is this all you have?" She asked him, looking around the tent. "No ma'am." He said grinning, let me go get something from the back." he said, and just as he turned around she snatched up a set of jeweled daggers and walked off. She walked back into Sae'llán's home. Sae'llán smiled happily at her, with a hint of sorrow in her eyes. "Darling," she began. "I think you should go out and travel, this little old town just isn't exciting enough for you." She said. Glásáj was a bit taken aback at first, but then agreed, gathered up her things, and went on her way... She passed a man on her way out of the village her fingers nimbly snatched his coin purse from his belt, she reached up to scratch her cheek and just as she was going to walk out of the village a guard slashed his dagger, her pinky falling and a gash under her eye. "return the purse." He snarled. She grimaced in pain, swinging her other hand and grabbing fer hand and cheek, dropping the coin purse. She cursed loudly and took off, not waiting for the punishment of the guard.

Just To Clarify
Her Mother was was a Healer and her Father a Warrior for the Military, at the time she was born they had been sent on a mission, when they didn't return most thought they had died so didn't speak of it to Glásáj. Her Father had arranged Yráná would look after her until she was ready to leave, what he didn't count on was her disappearance, most thought she had been kidnapped, in truth, she had been murdered because of a blood feud. Although she learned the trade of jewelry making she gave it up when she went on her journey. How this ties in with her personality, as she was leaving the town she heard people whispering about her parents dying, so she thought the people in the village had lied to her. The man in the cloak was her Father, I know a Father wouldn't usually suggest thieverey to their child, but he saw his wife being killed mercilessly by the enemy, so he Father went insane and they didn't return after their mission. Sae'llán sent her on a journey because she had gotten word that her cousin had started a blood fued with another family and she didn't want Glásáj getting killed.

Weapons,
Her belt is filled with knives and daggers, a black quiver filled with black-painted arrows and a black bow

Belongings,
Her custom onyx and silver jewelry, her custom bow, arrows, and quiver

Height,
2 Peds

Weight,
1.5 Pygges

     
« Last Edit: January 22, 2007, 08:14:43 AM by Glásáj » Logged

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Amaria
New Santharian

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Gender: Female
Posts: 23


Human, Erpheronian


« Reply #1 on: January 19, 2007, 05:56:21 AM »

Firstly, welcome to the world of Santharia, may you have some fun experiences here.

There are a few reasons to put the CD into the format given in the Character Creation link. People glancing over your character will find it easier to glance through the appearance, personality, strengths and weakness as needed. It also makes it easier for mods/admins to make sure your character is containing all the requirements. The final reason: after many edits some information might get lost accidental.

 I do want to say that I did enjoy looking through the CD and it looks as though you've taken time to do research. Try putting it into the format and filling in anything that is missing. You may also need to explain why your character begins traveling, every RPG currently available would require your character to leave Nybelmar (I'm assuming she is there as that is where the Coór'hém tribe is found).

And once again, Welcome.
« Last Edit: January 19, 2007, 05:57:56 AM by Amaria » Logged

When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. -Anon
Amaria
New Santharian

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Gender: Female
Posts: 23


Human, Erpheronian


« Reply #2 on: January 19, 2007, 06:01:35 AM »

Oops, forgot to mention that you need to have the same charactar name as your user name. You can change your user name in 'Account related settings' under Modify Profile.
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When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. -Anon
Glásáj
New Santharian

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Gender: Female
Posts: 19



« Reply #3 on: January 19, 2007, 06:05:51 AM »

Thank you, I'm glad to be here!

I suppose you're right, I'll change the format ASAP. grin

Thank you! You have no idea how long it took me to type that... I had to keep flipping from Word to the Sevari tribe page... I've been hunched over the keyboard so long my back hurts, I think that's the most literate Roleplay thing I've ever typed. I'm ssssoooo glad you enjoyed it! You people are just too nice! heart
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Glásáj
New Santharian

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Gender: Female
Posts: 19



« Reply #4 on: January 19, 2007, 06:39:11 AM »

There Ya Go!!! grin
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Amaria
New Santharian

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Gender: Female
Posts: 23


Human, Erpheronian


« Reply #5 on: January 19, 2007, 06:59:25 AM »

Good start... now I'll see if I can help you flesh Glásáj's character out a bit more. :)

Use sentences for all but the brief descriptions, which are name, gender, race, age, tribe, occupation, title, eye color, hair color, height, and weight. Strengths and weaknesses should be listed and briefly explained. As for what you have now, you will probably need more weaknesses to balance Glásáj out more. You also didn't mention the ability to use her bow and arrow as a strength...

For personality you need a lot more than a list the same for appearance. You may want to check some of the approved characters to get an idea. Leida Kereborn is a good work in progress you can check too.

Your history will be needing a lot of adding to it. Glásáj did have parents and you can tell us more about them. Where did she grow up? A city I'm assuming but maybe look though the places and find which one. How did Glásáj a poor orphan manage to learn how to create jewelry? Starving explains her learning to steal but now how she managed to gain enough to enter a profession like that.

In order for Glásáj to have learned all that it seems you want her to learn she may need to be much older. Fortunately she's an elf and ages slower, yes?

Work on what I mentioned, take your time and really start to become your character. It makes for strong role playing later as you can really know how Glásáj would respond.
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When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. -Anon
Lesalendral
Approved Character
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Gender: Female
Posts: 269



« Reply #6 on: January 19, 2007, 07:10:27 AM »

26 is really young for an elf, unless your a half elf. Try using the Elven Aging Calculator.
« Last Edit: January 19, 2007, 07:12:23 AM by Lesalendral » Logged
Glásáj
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Gender: Female
Posts: 19



« Reply #7 on: January 19, 2007, 07:12:01 AM »

oke-doke!
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Lesalendral
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« Reply #8 on: January 19, 2007, 07:47:15 AM »

Also, your CD can use a lot more detail over all, but the history most of all. Check out the Approved Characters Archives for ideas on what is expected.
« Last Edit: January 19, 2007, 07:48:24 AM by Lesalendral » Logged
Glásáj
New Santharian

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Gender: Female
Posts: 19



« Reply #9 on: January 19, 2007, 08:14:42 AM »

What do you think now?
« Last Edit: January 19, 2007, 08:15:18 AM by Glásáj » Logged

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Weivóc'Neán
Forsaken
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Posts: 471


Elf, Eophyrhim


« Reply #10 on: January 19, 2007, 08:24:40 AM »

personality needs alot more detail as it is one of the most important part of the CD as it tells us who you are and how you act.
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May this bless all who read it with what it holds:

Sé ilian thelduin onr líf un mor'ranr thelduin onr freohr.
Glásáj
New Santharian

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Posts: 19



« Reply #11 on: January 19, 2007, 08:30:54 AM »

How about now?
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Tiras The White Rose
The White Rose
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Posts: 181


Human , Male ,Erpheronian


« Reply #12 on: January 19, 2007, 11:09:19 AM »

Welcome to Santharia .

I usually leave the comments for the Higher Autorities ,but it seems to me like Amaria mentioned  that your strenghts/weakness are a tad unbalanced.

 Being an excelent thief , beautifull and skilled with daggers , does not balance with the weakness you have , namely the lack of armour , that i believe isn´t one , since many people relie on speed to attack and not using armour actualy helps them .

Anyway just an opinion , good luck in becoming titled soon ..
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“My crime? It is a serious one -- you see, I am too handsome to look upon.”
<a href="http://www.santharia.com/adv/index.php?topic=815.msg27340#msg27340 target="top">Tiras The White Rose[/url]
Glásáj
New Santharian

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Gender: Female
Posts: 19



« Reply #13 on: January 19, 2007, 12:45:24 PM »

Now?
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Glásáj
New Santharian

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Gender: Female
Posts: 19



« Reply #14 on: January 19, 2007, 02:44:16 PM »

God, I hope it's good enough this time! GAH! My fingers hurt from typing!
« Last Edit: January 19, 2007, 02:44:52 PM by Glásáj » Logged

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