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Author Topic: Arin Woodwealth / Centoraurian / Healer  (Read 6312 times)
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Arin Woodwealth
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Human, Centoraurian


« on: February 03, 2007, 09:06:55 AM »

This has been completely changed.

Name: Arin Woodwealth
Gender: Male
Race: Human
Tribe: Centoraurian
Age: 26 Years
Occupation: Healer
Title: White Nehtorian

Eye Color: Deep Blue
Hair Color: Dark Brown
Height: 1 ped, 2 fores and a palmspan
Weight: Around a pygge and 5 hebs

Overview:

Arin is a healer. Closing wounds, bandaging those who need it, and generally helping all who need him. He travels from place to place on his Centoraurian horse, Swifthoof. He is one of the White Nehtorians, though he normally travels alone, preventing death where possible.

Physical Appearance:

Arin has deep blue eyes beneath dark brown hair in a slightly tanned face. His hair falls down to the back of his neck, but is short on top and sides. His face is spoiled with a small scar above the left side of his lips, caused by falling onto the corner of a table when he was young. His eyes seem to flick around, searching everywhere, keen to take in everything. His nose has obviously been broken at some point.

His arms are pale, though his wrists and hands are darker and tanned. Arin's body is a medium build, and although he is healthy, he isn't particularly strong. He is around the average height for a Centoraurian. Upon Swifthoof he looks lordly and battle-worn, though off of his majestic mount he loses a lot of the effect and becomes a broken nosed young man with distrusting eyes.

Clothes:

Arin favors a white robe, splattered with the occasional bloodstain, and some leather riding gloves whilst mounted upon Swifthoof. His robe is cut  at the back to make  Dark Leather boots are worn also. This white robe signifies he is a White Nehtorian. Pockets are sown into random places all over the robe, some deep and narrow, some wider, all for medical tools, herb boxes, and vials of restorative liquid.

Personality:

Arin cares greatly about others, and that is the reason he became a healer. He will go out of his way to help others and, so long as he respects them, will risk his life for them, to honour Nehtor and to top Queprur from "claiming" the soul. He travels regularly, never settling down in one place for too long. He will be extremely angered by the death of any creature, and does not eat meat. The only time he will allow something to die, is for the greater amount of lives. For an example, he will allow a man to die, should it save three or four men's lives. But these cases are rare, and Arin will always try to save all those needing his aid.

He prays regularly to his God, before a healing, and every night. He will pray at daybreak throughout Molten Ice, Nehtor's Month. In every prayer he will recite one of the verses of "O Azure God". Arin is grateful for all he has, which amounts to little. Should he be challenged, he will try to placate his enemy with words to avoid a fight.

When overcome with anger or shock, Arin stutters and shakes, making him a liability to his ward rather than a healer.

Strengths:

Healer: Arin is a healer by profession, and can close wounds well, save people's lives and generally help patients. He is skilled but not a master of his art yet.

Healthy: Arin has studied the body for many years, and has applied this knowledge to himself, keeping his body healthy and raising his constitution against disease. He is though still weak against cuts and physical damage.

Basic Herbalism: Arin has been taught basic herbalism, allowing him to collect herbs he can use, and others to sell for money. (To donate to the order of White Nehtorians)

Weaknesses:

Weak: Whilst good at repelling diseases, his constitution isn't particularly good. He injures easily and repairs his wounds slowly, meaning a bad cut could leave him out of action for a while.

Adversity to killing: Killing is a violation of Nehtor, and so Arin is totally averse to it. He hates it when someone does kill something or someone else, but is angered even more should the killing be needless. He will sulk for days praying for the soul, or become very angry at the person. This changes depending on the killing and the person who and reason they did it.                                               

Shakes/Stutters: When overcome with anger or shock, Arin stutters and shakes, making him a liability to his ward rather than a healer.


History:

Arin was born on the Aurora Plains, the son of a Surgeon, giving him an insight into healing. His adult brother bred horses, and this is how he acquired Swifthoof at age 7, when she was a foal. He never went to school, but was taught basic math, reading and writing at home, by his mother. His mother knew such things because her mother, Arin's Grandmother, had been the friend of a learned man.

At the age of 9 he went to the Temple of Nehtor in Milkengrad, and became a apprentice to the Nehtorians there, learning how to heal and to soothe pains. He expanded on the reading and writing his mother had taught him, and learned astronomy, philosophy, about Nehtor and the other Gods and Numerology while he was here. Basic herbalism was also taught, allowing basic salves and such to be created by Arin. Arin lived and learned here until he was 21, when he met a White Nehtorian by the name of Jadin.

Arin first saw Jadin on the corner of two streets near the temple. A man had been pushed down by a thief, who had stolen the contents of his left pocket moments before. He had broken an arm and was dazed by the attack. Arin had ran to help this man in need, but was beaten by Jadin, who quickly set the bone back to position, gave the man a 4 Miyu Beans to relieve his pain, and made a splint for him to rest his arm.  He then had several men who were watching take the poor man home to rest.

Arin waited until the crowd had cleared before approaching Jadin, and after exchanging names and an introduction, they began to talk. They went to the temple to pray for the man, and soon were good friends. Arin was inquisitive into the ways of the White Nehtorians, for Jadin was such a man, and was taught about them by Jadin. he was mesmerized by these stories, about saving men's lives, seeing the world by working as a traveling healer, and meeting men of similar interests.

Soon Arin wished to become a white Nehtorian and set off on a journey to Nyermersys, looking to spread faith of Nehtor and heal those who are hurt. By doing this he knew he had left Jadin behind him, but he felt that to become a true White Nehtorian he had to feel pain like Nehtor did every moment.

By this time Swifthoof had grown to a full size horse, and was loved by her master dearly. They stayed in Nyermersys for a year, before setting off around Santharia, staying in Inns, healing people as they went. Eventually they ended up in Doovens. Here they joined a band of Nehtorians, traveling to Voldar. It took them 3 years to complete their journey, as they made slow progress. When they got there they were greeted into the temple, but Arin felt he couldn't stay in one place, and left within a week, returning to Nyermersys. It had been 5 years since he had last seen the city, and Arin was now 26. There he remains to this day, healing those in need and staying at the temple.

Weapons: Weapons kill people, killing is a movement against Nehtor. None.

Belongings: His Clothes, a saddlebag to carry his money and bandages, and  a medical case, in which are herbs, bandages, tools, and several books, mainly on his weakest subject, Herbalism.

Familiars: His Centoraurian horse, Swifthoof. Swifthoof is snowy white, with a great brown mane rearing from her head. She carries Arin everywhere, and his possessions are guarded in her saddlebag.
« Last Edit: February 13, 2007, 01:22:34 PM by Kalína Mërénwèn » Logged

Weivóc'Neán
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« Reply #1 on: February 03, 2007, 09:11:09 AM »

You seem to have done ample research and when i get back i'll do a uri-check(i copy CD and comment on anything everything including grammar and spelling.).
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May this bless all who read it with what it holds:

Sé ilian thelduin onr líf un mor'ranr thelduin onr freohr.
Drasil Razorfang
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« Reply #2 on: February 04, 2007, 05:02:06 AM »

Comments in Orange

Name: Arin Woodwealth
Gender: Male
Race: Human
Tribe: Caltharian
Age: 24
Occupation: Craftsman of Furniture and Decorations
Title: Craftsman

Eye Color: Brown (His tribe has light eyes, not dark)
Hair Color: Reddish Brown (Once again, light features, not dark)
Height: 1 ped, 2 fores and a Palmspan
Weight: Around a Pygge and 5 Hebs

Overview:

Arin is a 24 Year Old Woodworker, making furniture and Ornaments for a living. Arin lives in a wooden house (1 Story) around one(This is a bit inconvienent if you wish to RP.  You can't join up if your half way across the continent.) and a half Strals south of Carmalad. His Mother died at Childbirth, his father lives in Carmalad. Due to being close to each other Arin often visits the city and his father. His Chairs, Tables and other Decorations all are taken to the city on a Horse and Cart, Crafted by Arin's Grandfather.

Physical Appearance:

Arin has Brown Eyes beneath Reddish Brown in a slightly tanned face.
His Hair, reddish brown, falls down to the back of his neck, but is short on top and sides. His hands are rough for working with wood, whilst his Face and Body are smooth, hiding under a rough tunic for most of his life. He has a medium build. He is an average height for a man, around a Ped and three quarter tall. His arms are Strong from felling trees occasionally, as he get's the wood cheaper this way, and his legs are sturdy from constant excercise. In Winter Arin Grows longer hair to help keep warmer, and his hair dulls to a Dark Brown. (see above coloring comments.  In addition, I'm having troubles imagining your character.  Try to describe in a bit more detail by elaborating on what you have here.)

Clothes:

As Said before,(remove this clause) he favours a Brown Tunic and Beige Dyed Cloth Trousers (From the Skilled workmen in the city), and in Winter a Scarf. The Tunic Is covered by a overjacket when the day is cold, and Gloves are worn when travelling to the City.  (This clothing is a bit elaborate for someone of his tribe, especially since he still lives with them.  Usually, older, rattier, basic clothing is worn that contains shocking splashes of color...not dark browns)

Personality:

Arin has been only once far away from his home, to visit relatives in Doovens. He remembers little of this, as he was a child when he went. As such he is secretly fearful of the Wilderness, but denies this fiercely to anyone who questions. As this shows he refuses to open up to anyone without trusting them greatly. When in danger, by animal or man, if he feels he will lose the fight he will still not back out, but instead attempt to cause some sort of damage that will stun the creature or man (He rarely meets other races) before running. He is cautious rather than cowardly, holding his life above his honour. When attempting to sell his goods he tries to be positive, but can become aggravated when people try to buy for a stupidly low price. He is not a professional trader, and doesn't gain nearly as much profit as a trader could make from his goods, but he tries, persevering. When in a foul mood, he becomes stubborn and even grumpy.  (this is a nice start, but it doesn't really tell us much about how your character would act in his everyday life.  You focus primarily on isolated incedents when you should be looking at yourself as a whole.  Things like if he is a friendly and charasmatic person, or does he enjoy living a secluded life should go here)

Strengths and Weaknesses:

Strengths:

Woodworker: As a Woodworker, Arin has crafted many things. Though furniture is his main trade he can fletch makeshift arrows and with a string a bow(huh?  This sentence confuses me.). In a group with a skilled archer, this talent becomes useful.

Healthy: Arin has lived outside the city for all his adult life, does physical labour regularly and has such gained an above average fortitude and constitution

Axes: Having used Axes to fell trees and to hold off the occasional bear or wolf, This particular weapon is the most familiar to Arin. (How skilled is he with it though?  This will help measure how great of a strenght it is.)

Youth: Being old enough to have seen much and practised his skills, and young enough to learn new ones, Arin is fairly adaptable. (This seems like two strenths put in one, the first being that he is young, the second being that he is adaptable.  You should probably seperate them out)

Weaknesses:

Fear: Arin is fearful of the Wilderness and the strange and dangerous creatures that reside within it. Though he protects himself if needed he canot imagine deliberately going out to kill something for profit.
(Once again you have combined two seperate items.  Seperate these out.  Also, in addition how great is his fear?  Will he go out of his way to avoid them, or is he just uneasy inside one?)
Defenceless: Though he has used an axe to protect himself, he would be no match for even the most basically trained Guard. (The average santharian can't use an axe, let alone any weapon at all.  Therefore this is not a weakness.)

Unable to Swim: Other than a few ponds, streams and such the closest body of water is the Sea, where he has never been. Arin has never learned to swim properly, and can only manage to stay afloat for a short while.  (I'm not sure if this is a weakness as well.  You'll have to get another opinion on this, but I'm going to say its not for the same reasons as above.)

Never Travelled: Arin has never travelled far and has little idea of what many creatures look like, other than from stories in Inns in the City. He cannot recognise what would be threats or name things as easily as others.


Weapons: A Farm Ax
               A Small Dagger, sharp enough to pierce cloth easily.

Belongings: A Lodge south of Carmalad, A Horse and Cart, A Single lump of Gold, weighing around a Mut. (Found whilst crossing a stream)

Familiars: None (A Horse for the Horse and Cart, just an average Workhorse
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Arin Woodwealth
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« Reply #3 on: February 04, 2007, 05:40:48 AM »

Thanks for the Uri-Check, I'll revise my CD
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Weivóc'Neán
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« Reply #4 on: February 04, 2007, 10:39:36 PM »

Quote
Woodworker: As a Woodworker, Arin has crafted many things. Though furniture is his main trade he can fletch makeshift arrows and with a string a bow(huh?  This sentence confuses me.). In a group with a skilled archer, this talent becomes useful.

Even though this makes no sense to drasil, it makes perfect sense to me as i have been in the business of studying real making of arrows and bows and know many words from it. But to but it simply and better for someone like drasil:

he is saying he can fletch makeshift arrows, and if he can find a string, even a makeshift bow.

Its ok it didnt make sense to you drasil because first read through it didnt to me but closer examination and it meant what i just said. He jsut put it a little short.
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RP'ing: Speech Thoughts
A link to my CD: Weivóc'Neán

May this bless all who read it with what it holds:

Sé ilian thelduin onr líf un mor'ranr thelduin onr freohr.
Drasil Razorfang
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« Reply #5 on: February 04, 2007, 10:41:32 PM »

People should be able to tell what going on in his CD without having to be an expert in the area (especially in strengths and weakneses.  Also, what I was refering to was the last little bit after "and"
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Weivóc'Neán
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« Reply #6 on: February 04, 2007, 10:51:36 PM »

actually drasil my experience only bring memories of my first early attempts of making bow and arrows. All my experience tells me is that i know what fletch is and that with closer examination I can tell what he said. I'm not saying that the part after "and" wasn't confusing, but i noticed what he meant when I loked closely. All I was saying is that he just misworded it and i reworded it telling you what he said. I'm not trying to say you made a mistake its just that you didn't notice what I noticed.
« Last Edit: February 04, 2007, 10:52:52 PM by Weivóc'Neán » Logged

RP'ing: Speech Thoughts
A link to my CD: Weivóc'Neán

May this bless all who read it with what it holds:

Sé ilian thelduin onr líf un mor'ranr thelduin onr freohr.
Arin Woodwealth
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« Reply #7 on: February 04, 2007, 11:40:46 PM »

I've now reworded and added in some Information, to try and correct what was pointed out in Drasil's Uri-Check. I've added an extra weakness, and changed one, so now I think the Strengths and Weaknesses are fairly balanced.
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Drasil Razorfang
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« Reply #8 on: February 05, 2007, 04:45:22 AM »

Please color your changes so we know what you have edited, and what you did not agree with.
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Arin Woodwealth
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« Reply #9 on: February 05, 2007, 04:50:02 AM »

I've coloured my changes in Beige, which is probably why you didn't see them. My bad for such a light colour, i'll choose a Darker colour next time
« Last Edit: February 05, 2007, 04:51:31 AM by Arin Woodwealth » Logged

Kelancey the Green
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« Reply #10 on: February 05, 2007, 01:03:24 PM »

  Greetings, decent Craftsman Arin!  Welcome to Caelereth!

  I am pleasantly surprised, putting it mildly, at your choice of occupation.  Nonetheless, this could make for some very interesting role-playing!  Very interesting, indeed.  I would request that you put the "pen up" symbol, for "Work In Progress", while you are revising your History.  Once you have finished it, I'll check back with some useful comments (I hope they'll be useful, at least).

  Take care, and enjoy the road less travelled, Arin!
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"Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter."  --Master Yoda
Kelancey the Green
Arin Woodwealth
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« Reply #11 on: February 05, 2007, 04:53:18 PM »

Greetings to you, Kelancey.

I should be able to finish editing later today, and look forward to any comments you may give.

Farewell, and good luck with all your exploits.

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Simonne Miller
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« Reply #12 on: February 05, 2007, 10:08:03 PM »

Just a quick comment, while you haven't changed yet. You have a tendency to capitalize your letters in random places in your sentencens. There is no reason to do this, and for myself I find it easier to read a sentence that is only capitalized in the beginning and for proper names. I will wait with other comments until after you've edited :)
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Arin Woodwealth
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« Reply #13 on: February 06, 2007, 01:12:08 AM »

Hmmm....that's a bad habit I've picked up...I'll try to stamp that out  :)

Thanks for pointing that out!
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Kalína Dalá'isyrás
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« Reply #14 on: February 06, 2007, 03:40:07 AM »

Hello Arin,

My comments/suggestions will be in red.


Name: Arin Woodwealth
Gender: Male
Race: Human
Tribe: Caltharian
Age: 24
Occupation: Craftsman of Furniture and Decorations (I believe this could be summarized as a Carpenter)
Title: Craftsman

Eye Color: Light Brown/Hazel
Hair Color: Medium Blonde
Height: 1 ped, 2 Fores and a Palmspan
Weight: Around a Pygge and 5 Hebs

Overview:

Arin is a 24 year old woodworker, making furniture and ornaments for a living. Arin has in a wooden house (1 Story) (Parenthesis are considered to be inappropriate in descriptions, especially if the information placed in parenthesis can be inserted into the description itself.) around one and a half Strals south of Carmalad, though this is not a permanent residence, and is mostly furnished with what he needs while crafting. He generally sleeps there twice or thrice a week. (This will not work well in a story line, especially in this period of Santharia. Traveling places takes time, as there are no real quick ways to get places other than on horseback. Even then, visiting different towns or cities could entail at least a several days ride one way.) His mother died at childbirth and his father lives in Carmalad. Due to being close to each other, Arin still lives with his father. His chairs, tables and other decorations all are taken to the city on a horse and cart, which was crafted by Arin's Grandfather.

Physical Appearance:

Arin has hazel eyes beneath medium shaded blonde hair in a slightly tanned face.
His hair falls down to the back of his neck, but is short on top and sides. It has been describe as "Singed by the Sun", as it is slightly darker than most of his tribe's. His chiseled face is handsome and honest, with a small scar above the left side of his lips, caused by falling onto the corner of a table while young. His hands are rough for working with wood, whilst his body is smooth, hiding under a rough tunic for most of his life. He has a medium build. He is an average height for a man, around a ped and three quarter tall. His arms are strong from felling trees occasionally, as he gets wood cheaper by helping the professional Fellers, and his legs are sturdy from constant exercise. In winter, Arin grows longer hair to help keep warmer, and his hair dulls to a dark brown.

(One thing I noticed with your writing is that you are trying insert some older English wording mixed in with a very modern description. Unfortunately, these two things don't mix well for easy reading and understanding. If you want to use older English spellings and wording, do that only. Yet if you want to have a modern feel, use modern spellings and wordings please. don't mix it up randomly.)

Clothes:

He favors a brown tunic, splattered with bright blue and white, and beige dyed wool cloth trousers (From the Skilled workmen in the city). (again with the parenthesis) Leather gloves are worn when traveling to the city.

Personality:

Arin has been only once far away from his home, to visit relatives in Doovens. He remembers little of this, as he was a child when he went. As such (You use "as" a lot and it is not always a necessary word to use to describe things.) he is secretly fearful of the wilderness, but denies this fiercely to anyone who questions. As this shows he refuses to open up to anyone without trusting them greatly. When in danger, by animal or man, if he feels he will lose the fight he will still not back out, but instead attempt to cause some sort of damage that will stun the creature or man (He rarely meets other races) before running. He is cautious rather than cowardly, holding his life above his honor. When attempting to sell his goods he tries to be positive, but can become aggravated when people try to buy for a stupidly low price. He is not a professional trader, and doesn't gain nearly as much profit as a trader could make from his goods, but he tries, persevering. When in a foul mood, he becomes stubborn and even grumpy.

Arin generally is in a less than happy mood, though this can change quickly when he gets into a conversation. People are generally able to cheer him up, especially after he gets back from his Lodge after Crafting, when he hasn't talked to many if any people for a couple of days. Whilst generally honest Arin will tell a lie to protect himself or to serve justice upon someone. Arin is what you could call a good citizen, paying any taxes and abiding to the laws, only stepping over them to serve justice.

Strengths and Weaknesses:

Strengths:

Woodworker: As a woodworker, Arin has crafted many things. Though furniture is his main trade he can fletch low quality arrows. In a group with a skilled archer, this talent becomes useful.

Healthy: Arin has lived outside the city for all his adult life, does physical labor regularly and has such gained an above average fortitude and constitution. (Just working hard doesn't make someone "healthy". There is much more to it than that. Also, physical labor, depending on what it is, isn't necessarily considered "healthy" either, as it is exhausting and extreme wear and tear on the body. To build fortitude and constitution, it takes more than just physical labor. It takes more training, focus, and eating specific things to obtain what you say you have.)

Axes: Having used Axes to fell trees and to hold off bears or wolves, this particular weapon is the most familiar to Arin. He is fairly skilled with it, and would be a match for two or three unskilled men.

Adaptable: Arin is fairly adaptable, and can pick up rudimentary knowledge of a new skill quickly.

Weaknesses:

Fear: Arin is fearful of the wilderness and the strange and dangerous creatures that reside within it. He will always try to stay away from it, and if he must go to a dangerous territory would try to find company, and stay to any paths.

(Keep in mind that such a weakness will gravely limit which stories you can enter and participate in.)

Lack of Confidence: Arin holds little confidence in himself and his abilities.

(Why is this? What has caused him to think this way?)

Unable to Swim: Other than a few ponds, streams and such the closest body of water is the Sea, where he has never been. Arin has never learned to swim properly, and can only manage to stay afloat for a short while.

(If he never really leaves a city, this is really a null/void concept really. If he is unable to swim, being near a body of water is highly unlikely, as people who don't know how to swim tend to avoid bodies of water in general.)

Never Traveled: Arin has never traveled far and has little idea of what many creatures look like, other than from stories in inns in the city. He cannot recognize what would be threats or name things as easily as others.

Arrogant: Arin tries to bring justice to someone if he can. Some would see this as a strength, but it can get him into trouble with authorities.

(I am not sure I would label this as "arrogant"  but perhaps "overzealous".)

I feel your S&W are not balanced overall. You have strong strengths yet weak weaknesses when we need strong weaknesses to counter such strong strengths.


History:

Arin was born in the city, (What city? You may have mentioned it once, but when you refer to "city", it would be preferred that you name the city, so we know what you are are talking about.) and his mother died in childbirth. His father brought him up as a healthy smart lad, accustomed to city life. When he was around 6, his grandfather took him to visit his Great Aunt and Uncle in Doovens. This was the first time he had ever been away from the city, other than in the surrounding fields and woods.

At age 13, he got a job as a laborer to a merchant, carrying his wares to the stall on market day. This built muscles for later life. In return for his work Arin got an erg and was taught week by week how to craft small decorations from wood. Arin began to buy wood and tools to practice at home with, and by the age of 16 could make simple furniture to sell to people.

By 17, he could earn a living from this work and so he saved money and moved out to his grandfather's house, who had recently passed away, for several days a week. From his new home around one and a half strals south from the city, Arin traveled in on market days to sell his goods. Nothing particularly exciting has ever happened in Arin's life, and he is content with it that way. Although this could change of course...

Weapons: A Farm Axe
               A Small Dagger, sharp enough to pierce cloth easily. (most knives can pierce cloth, so this is nothing really special)

Belongings: A lodge south of Carmalad, A horse and cart, a single lump of gold, weighing around a mut. (Found whilst crossing a stream)
Enough money to buy a new decent axe.
Familiars: None (A Horse for the Horse and Cart, just an average Workhorse) (Even if just a work horse, it should be mentioned as he seems to spend a considerable amount of time with this animal)


Overall, not bad, but still has some work to be done on it.  Pet

Also, I know it has already been said but, please don't use beige, as that is the color of the text which we use on the site. That is why it doesn't show. A much brighter color would be appreciated for coloring changes.
« Last Edit: February 06, 2007, 03:41:52 AM by Kalína Mërénwèn » Logged

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