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- THE CD FORUM POSTICON SYSTEM -

Below is a summary on the posticons used for the character description approval process. The posticon of the first post should always be edited according to the current state of completion of the character description (either by the player, a Moderator or an Administrator).
1) PLAYER - CD is incomplete. Use this posticon if you have not finished your CD.  4) MODERATOR - CD has been approved by one moderator. A second mod's approval is needed.
 2) PLAYER - CD is completed. Use this if you have finished working on your CD.  5) MODERATOR - CD has been approved by two moderators. An Administrator should soon take care of the titling.
 3) MODERATOR - An expert's opinion is needed. The specific field in which the expert's help is needed should be added to the title.  6) ADMINISTRATOR - An administrator has titled the character, and the thread will soon be moved to the CD Archives.
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Author Topic: Aváíyá Enayái/ Diorye’oleal / Personal seamstress  (Read 21988 times)
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Aváíyá Enayái
Adventurous Artist
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Gender: Female
Posts: 82


Elf, Diorye’oleal / Cyhallrhim


« Reply #15 on: March 28, 2007, 10:16:51 AM »

O.O Oh wow, I just noticed. Oh meh gawd so Is my Cd okay?

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Kalína Dalá'isyrás
Dalá'isyrás
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High Elf, Kaýrrhem


« Reply #16 on: March 28, 2007, 10:24:37 AM »

No, you haven't been titled. What you see is default for everyone until they are titled.
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Insanity is only a perception made by those who have yet to attain its greatness. While those of us who have already stepped inside its bounds find bliss in our utter madness.
Nai'r en'Lina ar'Kaimel
Aváíyá Enayái
Adventurous Artist
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Gender: Female
Posts: 82


Elf, Diorye’oleal / Cyhallrhim


« Reply #17 on: March 28, 2007, 10:32:31 AM »

Oh okay, do I change it to another Icon or just keep it this way?
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Aváíyá Enayái
Adventurous Artist
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Gender: Female
Posts: 82


Elf, Diorye’oleal / Cyhallrhim


« Reply #18 on: March 29, 2007, 07:47:52 AM »

Ima need a mod.
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Drasil Razorfang
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Elf, Meladrhim/ Injerin


« Reply #19 on: March 29, 2007, 08:31:48 AM »

Whats the question mark for and who put it up?  If you put it up, please realize that the question mark icon should only be put up by a MODERATOR when there is a SPECIFIC issues or section that needs checking, not for general comments.  If there is a specific question, please post it so experts from the dev can come in and help.
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Aváíyá Enayái
Adventurous Artist
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Gender: Female
Posts: 82


Elf, Diorye’oleal / Cyhallrhim


« Reply #20 on: March 29, 2007, 08:17:25 PM »

Why does it say '3) MODERATOR - An expert's opinion is needed. The specific field in which the expert's help is needed should be added to the title.'?

I need a mod to approve of my character.
« Last Edit: March 29, 2007, 08:23:40 PM by Aváíyá Enayái » Logged

Mina
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« Reply #21 on: March 29, 2007, 09:13:36 PM »

In which case you put up the one with the exclamation mark.  The question mark posticon is put up by moderators if there is something about your CD they are not sure about and need an expert's help in. 
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Kalína Dalá'isyrás
Dalá'isyrás
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High Elf, Kaýrrhem


« Reply #22 on: March 29, 2007, 10:07:15 PM »

The "names" by the numbers tells you who puts up that particular posticon, not who needs to look at your CD.
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Insanity is only a perception made by those who have yet to attain its greatness. While those of us who have already stepped inside its bounds find bliss in our utter madness.
Nai'r en'Lina ar'Kaimel
Aváíyá Enayái
Adventurous Artist
Approved Character
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Gender: Female
Posts: 82


Elf, Diorye’oleal / Cyhallrhim


« Reply #23 on: March 30, 2007, 05:59:05 AM »

Ah okay. I get it now.

Thanks
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Aváíyá Enayái
Adventurous Artist
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Gender: Female
Posts: 82


Elf, Diorye’oleal / Cyhallrhim


« Reply #24 on: March 30, 2007, 08:39:04 PM »

Notice for those who might post on here this weekend, I will not be present until maybe later sunday, so I will not be able to reply.


Thanks
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Drasil Razorfang
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Elf, Meladrhim/ Injerin


« Reply #25 on: April 01, 2007, 12:18:02 AM »

Hello Avaiya!  I'm going to give you your first CD Team (moderator, mini) URI.  My comments will be in red.  Once you have completed your changes, please color them.  Also, if you disagree with any of my comments, feel free to quote my phrasing from my check and ask for further elaboration on what I mean.  I tend to be brief.

Name: Aváíyá Enayái
Gender: Female
Age: 256 (Appears 30) If you are going to put something like this here, it would be much mroe helpful if you provided her human equivalent of knowledge and training instead of her appearance.
Race: Elf
Tribe: Diorye’oleal / Cyhallrhim Hmm...Since crossbreeds are highly discouraged for your first character, I am going to ask that you choose one of your two tribes.  In addition to complicating the approval process, the two tribes you have chosen are on completely seperate continents so it is not likely that they would mix. Finally, your tribes are both very isolated, so mixing is not plausible   
Occupation: Personal Seamstress / Assassin for hire
Title: Adventurous Artist
We also ask that you include the following sections under the title,
Height:
Weight:
Hair Color:
Eye Color:

Overview:
She lives a double life, going from town to town looking for a place where she can finally feel at home again, but yet has to find such a place that could accept what she is.

Physical Appearance:
Aváíyá earns most of her appearance from her father who was a Diorye’oleal elf, except for her almost empty eyes and long eyes anyone could have passed her as a Diorye’oleal(most people haven't seen a Dioryeo'oleal elf because of their isolation.  While people would probably recognize her as some type of dark elf, her attempting to pass off as one would not only bring her into harms way, but would probably be pointless). Her jet black hair is kept in a tight braid reaching to the small of her back, her hair contrasts well with her marble white skin. She has a slender yet very curvatious body, she has the long arms and legs that come with the Diorye’oleal and being an even 2 peds just adds to the strange beauty that she carries herself with. She has the chiselled features of her father and the blank eyes of her mother, another sign her father left behind was giving her an animal guild of a horse, although he never said anything about its meaning. She weighs an amazing 2 Pygges, 6 Hebs which no one could have guessed because of how slender she looks. (Tatooing is common in your father's tribe.  Your character should have at least one tattoo)

Clothing:
Aváíyá has taken both her mothers and fathers clothing and changed both to her likings, from the tight dresses her father made for her to the jerkins her mother wore, it all depends on where she is going.

When she won’t be riding a horse or working on a project, she’ll wear a full black dress with a collar that is round and wide reaching almost to her shoulders. These dresses are always tight around the hips and down to the knees and rather loose at the chest because of her curves, and then from the knees on the rest will be loose. She has long draping sleeves that will be tight at the elbow and shorter to make her work simpler; the designs on the dress will rang from beads twirling here and there around her bodice to splashes of beads.

While she is either riding or on her other job, although it is still tight fitting she is able to move as she wishes. A jerkin made of leather will be worn with a small cloth shirt under it, the jerkin extends to a skirt yet is shorter then the ones the Cyhallrhim wear because she wears breaches under the skirt. She will also wear long boots that extend over her knee and gloves that that almost reach up to her shoulder, her gloves are laced for an easy way to take them off when using the bow.     

Personality:
Quiet, observant, somewhat cynical and kind of indifferent to most people, but inwardly she's very kind hearted, generous, and protective of those she really cares for. Those aspects of her personality come out when one really gets to know her. If someone is fortunate enough to truly gain her trust and respect, she will be loyal to a fierce extent. Like her appearance, her personality reflexes much from her fathers. She will be just as stubborn as a mule, which is why she does not forgive and forget so easily as others. But she will hold her tongue when the times come, and will rarely let down on a challenge when some speaks to her as if she were someone from a low family.

She thinks she leads a double life which is why she will never get close to anyone, she is afraid to lose them just as she has her family. She cares little for the money she has or even makes, but if the need rise that she be in such a position that she does need money she will be unmerciful in her ways of obtaining it.
(Well done!  The only thing I have to say here is that seeing as she is blatantly a dark elf of some sort, as she will have inherited that eerie aura thing from her father, she will probably be isolated and people will go out of their way to avoid her.  Perhaps you should add a section on how this has impacted her?  Also, as a cross breed, she will never truely belong to a single tribe and would have been an outcast of sorts in either territory.  A section on how this scarring child hood experience affected her would be nice.)
Strengths:
-   Knowledge in using daggers: She was schooled by Korenjaans in using stealthy daggers.
-   Trained in the arts of stealth and subterfuge: Aváíyá trained with a group of Korenjaan to be stealthy, she knows how to get around without being noticed.
-   Observant: Little gets passed her attention; this skill is why she makes a great personal seamstress and an assassin.
-   Great at making anything from any material: Give her a rock and some leather and she just might end up making you a table cloth, she is good at what she makes and if stressed to make something on the spot she will and it will turn out great.

Weaknesses:
-   Wannted: Aváíyá is wanted in over 25 towns, thus making it difficult for her to travel. If she ends up going into a town where there is a bounty on her head, this could cause trouble.
-   Stubborn: If someone tells her something is dangerous, she will still do it. If someone gives her a job no one would take because you can get caught easily, yet she needs the money, she'll do it.
-   Alone: Aváíyá thinks she is leading a double life and would rather not get close to anyone for the fear of losing them one way or another. She rarely speaks to anyone and has an even harder time following a conversation.
-   Appearance: Aváíyá’s appearance makes it hard for her to do a lot, for example she cannot go out without being cloaked and if she goes browsing the merchants stands this will lead to them thinking she is stealing and thus getting her into a lot of trouble.

(hmm...her appearance might make it hard to do her proffession.  Remember, an assasins job is to go unnoticed in a large crowd, slit someone's throat and disappear once again.  Someone of her heritage, while they will be lightfooted and the like, would definatly stand out in a crowd.  Maybe you should a dd a section in her clothing about what she wears on the job to mask her appearance.  Also, you could have her put on make up whenever she goes on a job to better blend in.)

History:
I'm not a great history commentor because generally my attention span is to short.  When you finish your corrections, PM me and I will come back and look at it individually.

Weapons:
Two Jhé'vai Daggers, one for each arm.
Five small daggers carried either behind a belt or around thigh.
An oak bow with some arrows. (I'd suggest removing this.  It will add another strength to the mix, throwing off your balance and will detract from her skill with the daggers.)

Belongings:
8 weapons
1 light black cloak
1 bag for materials, such as tools for tailoring
1 bag for clothing
1 pouch for her money
1 saddle bag for food
1 saddle bag for treats
1 saddle bag for other necessities
1 saddle bag is empty

Familiars:
A black 5 year old Kev’lor war horse. (Further elaboration here is required.  You need to describe what the horse looks like, what their bond is, what his name is ect.  Also, this needs to be added as a strength.)
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Aváíyá Enayái
Adventurous Artist
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Gender: Female
Posts: 82


Elf, Diorye’oleal / Cyhallrhim


« Reply #26 on: April 02, 2007, 07:24:58 AM »

Thank you Drasil your comments are apreciated.
I've fixed up everything, I think. The only thing I won't change is her mixed breeding I like challenges anyways and I've read alot about both tribes, and as for your comment on them being on two very different continents, it's all answered in her history. :D
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Drasil Razorfang
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Elf, Meladrhim/ Injerin


« Reply #27 on: April 02, 2007, 07:57:57 AM »

This is my fault for forgetting to color my last comment, but you need to elaborate further on her familar.  If you look at my previous comment go to the familiar section and I talked about it there.  It can be found in Parenthases.  After you are done with that, I'll look through the history and provide comments there.
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Aváíyá Enayái
Adventurous Artist
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Gender: Female
Posts: 82


Elf, Diorye’oleal / Cyhallrhim


« Reply #28 on: April 02, 2007, 08:27:45 PM »

Oh I see it now. I'll fix it when I get back home from school tonight.
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Simonne Miller
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« Reply #29 on: April 03, 2007, 01:49:57 AM »

Alassiel, if you read the last two posts, you'd know she was going to elaborate on the familiar when she gets back :)

I will give this a look-over when you've added the familiar, Avaiya.
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