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Author Topic: Allia, Llaoihrr Ferretmaster  (Read 3912 times)
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Allia
Forsaken in Love
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Brownie, Llaoihrr


« on: July 17, 2007, 07:52:28 AM »

Name: Allia
Gender: Female
Age: 20
Race: Brownie
Tribe: Llaoihrr
Clan: Ferretmaster
Title: Forsaken in Love

Height: 15 nailsbreadths
Weight: 1 od
Hair color: Adlemirene
Eye color: Eophran brown

Description: Earthly is her beauty, close to nature as she is. Cinnabrown skin marks her as a Brownbark brownie, unmarred by age or mishap. Adlemirene tresses cascade midway down her back, flowing in waves. Full lips pout above a square jaw often set in determination. Alight with confidence and sparkling with intelligence, her eophran brown eyes are deep-set above high cheekbones. A small aquiline nose descends to just above her lips, gracing her face with the appearance of elegance. Slender with a graceful arch, her neck extends from narrow shoulders.

A brown mouseleather blouse wraps around her slim torso as it descends to her thighs, laced together in the back with black leather thongs, leaving her upper back and shoulders bare. With the blouse held close to her waist by a black belt, its hem flares out over slender hips. Matching pants tightly hug her legs and hips as they disappear beneath the tail end of the blouse. Pouches filled with toxins in powder form descend from her belt, and she wears red feathered darts strapped to each thigh. Mouseleather boots ascend slightly beyond her ankles, and from the right boot extends a single hilt, crafted of oak. As protection from the elements she wears a dark brown cloak that descends to the tops of her boots, held together in the front by a brooch in the shape of a fox’s head.

Personality: Confidence is apparent in every uttered word and graceful movement, as it is an inherent aspect of her very being. Allia is confident in her knowledge, her skills, and most of all her keen intelligence. Her intelligence is not of books so much as it is a natural affinity for cleverness and thinking on her feet. But her wit is tempered by a sensibility gained from experience and fails to translate into mischief.

Allia is a sociable creature by nature as she is accustomed to being surrounded by hundreds if not thousands of brownies. Her piping voice exudes overtones of friendliness, and peals of laughter, resounding of silver bells, often rises from full lips, as her sense of humor is light and merry. Frustration does sometimes get the best of her, and it is then that the seemingly innocent brownie can be heard mumbling curses. But anger rarely finds its way into her heart as her patience is one born of experience raising and tending to wild animals.

Compassionate and caring, Allia cannot stand to see any creature suffering. It troubles her to inflict pain on others, and she refuses to use lethal poisons on her darts. She loves animals and loves caring for them. In particular she has a fondness for foxes, delighting in their clever antics. Meat never touches her lips, and she turns her head as her fox chows down on his meal.

She loves a Silverbark named Mithril, a rare Greybark of the silver shade. With every fiber of her being Allia longs to bring him home once more. Pain lurks in her heart still from the way he left her without even saying goodbye. But there is no doubt in her mind that he loves her. He is only scared, and she yearns to comfort him, to take him into her arms and whisper soothingly in his ear.

Strengths:
- Skilled with her blowpipe, Allia can shoot darts up to a distance of two to three peds. She can only fire accurately on foot, from the back of her fox her darts often go astray.
- She possesses a general knowledge of non-lethal toxins and their making.
- Aided by her small size, the brownie is stealthy beyond the ability of any larger creature. Rarely is she heard when she does not wish to be as her every footstep is lighter than a feather.
- Graced with intelligence and wit, Allia thinks quickly and possesses a cleverness to match that of any fox.
- Speaking of foxes, she trained in raising them for years as a member of the Ferretmaster clan. Since she is still an apprentice, she has not yet mastered the skill but is talented in training the clever animals. Her own fox, Todd, is well trained and obeys most of her commands, though he does have a will of his own.

Weaknesses:
- Allia refuses to use lethal toxins on her darts and will not kill any creature. She hesitates to shoot someone with even the non-lethal poison.
- Standing at only fifteen nailsbreadths, she is minuscule and easily injured. Injuries are always more pronounced for her as she is fragile. At the best, her size is an inconvenience when traveling, as she has difficulty crossing any distance whenever she is not mounted on her fox.
- With compassion comes a naivete about the dangers of the world. She expects to be treated as well as she treats others and is surprised by malicious intent from anyone.
- By no means fluent in Tharian, she knows only what the Imparters taught her as a youth. Allia does speak the language, but she struggles with comprehending what others say and often needs others to slow down the conversation so she can grasp it all.
- Her voice does not carry well to creatures so much larger than herself. And even when she is heard, it is sometimes difficult for others to understand her high-pitched, piping voice.

History: Through a gap in the trees, a cozy little treehouse could be seen, snuggled up against the trunk of the great oak as it rested on one large branch. Seated in a chair on the porch, one Brownbark brownie smoked a minuscule pipe as he gazed upon the morning sky, his brown locks descending to his shoulders in an unkempt mass. Dusting off her white apron, a beautiful Greenbark stepped out of the house and into the sunlight, her long green hair bound into a braid along her back. A bright smile spread across her face as she noticed the visitors at her door, chiding her husband to tidy up before turning to them and speaking in a melodious voice.

“You’re here to ask about our daughter, Allia. I just know it.” The smile widened upon mentioning her daughter as pride welled up in her heart. "We're sad that she had to leave, but we're proud of her nonetheless."

“You’re not proud Lily. You’re worried.” A soft chuckle arose from brown lips as they were twisted upward in a wry grin.

“Oh shush your mouth Oak. You wouldn’t know what a woman was feeling if she came out and told you.” Her emerald stare served to silence him before she turned back to their visitors, her smile returning in an instant.

She was the most gorgeous, darling baby we’d ever seen. Her eophran eyes sparkled with merriment as she laughed, and her grasping fingers would grab anything to come within reach. And she had beautiful adlemirene tresses. Her coloring she took from her father, but luckily she was blessed with my beauty as well.

“I’ll have you know that I’m a very handsome fellow.” Oak scowled as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“Of course you are love, you’re the very handsome fellow I fell in love with. Now hush and let me finish the story.” Lily soothingly stroked her husband’s hair as she stood next to him.

The child was a nightmare as a toddler. The moment she learned to walk, we lost all control of her. She would get into anything and everything, and we had to watch her carefully to be sure that she didn’t fall out of the treehouse entirely. As much trouble as she was walking, she was so much more when it came to talking, repeating every word spoken around her. And someone taught her how to curse.

“It was that Bluebark brother of yours, not me.”

“Wave hardly ever comes around here. You know he doesn’t blend in with the trees, so stop your lying. Allia told me it was you anyway.”

“Traitor.” Oak mumbled under his breath then, and if one listened closely those very same curse words could be heard. Apparently Lily heard him as a loud smack descended upon the back of his head.

As a child Allia was much more manageable, and it helped that she was absolutely fascinated by the foxes I tamed and raised. Hours the child would spend playing with the pups, delighting in their soft fur and wet tongues. If she behaved, then I would let her ride one of the adult foxes with me, but she was never allowed around them alone. They were just so much bigger than she was, and I worried about her safety.

Of course most of her learning was handled by the Imparters as she learned alongside other young brownies her age. She had so many friends from class; it seemed as though no one could find it in their hearts to detest our darling girl. Her best friend was a Yellowbark named Sandy, and they became nearly inseparable as the girls were growing up. But her Choosing Day was only a few years away, and her father wanted a chance to show her the duties of his proud Prowler clan. I had after all already taught her much about the Ferretmaster clan, so it was only fair.

“Ahem. It’s my turn to tell the story.” Oak puffed his chest up in pride.

“Yes dear, I wouldn’t dream of stealing your glory.”

The kid was a natural. Give her a blow pipe, and she’d bring down the quarry in no time flat. Her stealth was amazing. I can’t even begin to count the number of times that little minx snuck up on me. But she had one fatal flaw when it came to hunting, the girl just could not kill. She refused to even learn how to make the deadly poisons and wouldn’t wield a bow. The darts for her blowpipe were coated with toxins that only knocked out the prey for a few hours. And she would never look as we slit the throats of the prey. No wonder she became a vegetarian.

“Okay honey, you’re done. Now sit back and finish smoking your pipe as I continue with the story.”

“Yes ma’am.” The Brownbark sighed in submission.

As talented as she was at hunting, the Greenbark spared a loving glance at her husband, her true love was always caring for the animals. Her Choosing Day was fast approaching, and there was not a single doubt in her mind, she would join the Ferretmaster clan like her gorgeous mother. Avidly she would beg me to teach her everything I knew, and I did my best in the two short years before she turned fifteen.

She was so proud as she rode in on the fox I had helped her to raise. Her grin spread from ear to ear as she gave him commands, commanding him to bow and then walk in a slow circle. Finally she had him run across the clearing, her softly uttered words in his ear guiding him all the while. With a sharply yelled command she brought the fox to a halt, telling him to bow again as she grinned broadly at the assembled brownies. The decision was unanimous, my baby would be allowed into the Ferretmaster clan.

“She would have been better off had she joined the Prowler clan. We know how to take care of our own.”

“Are you insulting my clan sweetie?” Lily rose up to her full fifteen nailsbreadths, emphasizing the word sweetie with dangerous overtones. No response was heard as Oak sunk lower in his chair, his gaze fixated upon the floor.

Allia was a wonder in the Ferretmaster clan. Everything I had taught her over the years served her well as she blossomed into a beautiful young woman. But even she was not perfect in tending to the animals. She favored the foxes and would fawn over them for hours on end, giving the other animals only the minimum amount of attention required for their care. It was no surprise to anyone when she excelled at commanding the foxes and failed so miserably with every other animal. Just as well for her, there were plenty of foxes to be trained, and she became a valued member of the clan only five years into her apprenticeship.

But something happened that no one could have predicted, something to tear my baby girl away from her home and family. She fell in love. A Silverbark from the Skydiver clan, named Mithril for that rare metal, flew in on his majestic Myrddin falcon, strutting about as he dismounted. My baby was lost the instant she gazed into those silver eyes. Her heart fluttered upon hearing his lovely voice, and she longed to touch that silvery skin. She loved him, and she used all her feminine wiles to convince him he felt the same.

“Scoundrel of a Skydiver.” Oak growled low in this throat, glaring at the sky as though Mithril soared high above him even now.

“Hush you. Allia will bring him back and beat him into submission. Women in my family are adept at handling men.”

“You’re telling me.” Sarcasm was evident in his tone as he replied.

The pair courted for several months, and things were clearly getting serious. Allia was whispering to me about planning a wedding, unbeknownst to the males of course. That Silverbark Mithril was a rooster among hens and he knew it, but Allia’s presence always served to sooth him, to hold his arrogance in check. But that wasn’t a surprise, we of the Ferretmaster clan are skilled at taming wild beasts be they animals or men.

It seemed as though the youngsters were only months away from living happily ever after, but it was not to be. Mithril became more and more frightened of commitment as the months passed. Like his falcon, he was a creature of freedom. He feared to be weighed down by a wife at home, or even a family one day. So like any man he took the coward’s way out and flew away without so much as one word to my darling daughter. And she set out after him on her fox, bound and determined to bring her man back if she had to tie him up to do it.

“Please tell our daughter that her parents miss her if you see her. But we understand, and she shouldn’t come back until she has that man draped over one shoulder.” Lily smiled graciously at their visitors as Oak only grunted in agreement.

Weapons: Tucked into her belt is a minuscule blowpipe, capable of shooting darts up to two to three peds. Crafted from a twig of bamboo, the blowpipe is off-white and extends for about ten nailsbreadths, slung diagonally across her back. Darts for the blowpipe are kept strapped around each of her thighs with bands of leather, and the tips of the darts are coated with a non-lethal, slumber-inducing toxin. Each dart is topped with two or three red feathers, marking them as sleeping darts. The poison itself is kept in powder form in various pouches on her belt, varying by severity. In her right boot she keeps a simple hunting knife, its hilt crafted of oak and the blade of iron.

Familiar: Todd, her fox, is nearly six years old. Well-trained, he obeys most of his mistress’s commands and is accustomed to her after all these years. But he is a ways away from being an old fox and still possesses the energy and willfulness of youth. Clever enough to be troublesome, the fox usually finds a way to obtain that which he desires, which is usually food.

As a red fox, Todd has soft reddish fur covering nearly his entire body. His underbelly is white, as is the tip of his bushy tail. Black fur ascends up each leg to the middle of his calves. With a length of about a hundred nailsbreadths, including his tail, he towers over his brownie mistress.

Belongings: Allia carries little on her as much of what she needs to survive she scavenges in the wilderness. In addition to her clothes, she carries a mouseskin blanket in a pack on her back to keep her warm at night. Her blowpipe she wears across her back beneath the pack. Darts for the blowpipe are strapped to each of her thighs, and the toxins for the darts are kept in pouches along her belt. A simple hunter's knife is tucked into her right boot.
« Last Edit: July 23, 2007, 03:09:49 AM by Allia » Logged

Ganinon
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« Reply #1 on: July 17, 2007, 08:05:17 AM »

This looks like a good CD so far. If you continue with this amount of detail you should be titled very quickly.
« Last Edit: July 17, 2007, 09:42:48 AM by Ganinon » Logged
Allia
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Brownie, Llaoihrr


« Reply #2 on: July 17, 2007, 09:43:25 AM »

Thank you! Pet

I'm doing my best to write this without making too many mistakes. ;)
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Ganinon
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« Reply #3 on: July 17, 2007, 10:10:34 AM »

If you keep going like this it might take a while but once you have it done you won't have to many things to critique.  :P
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Allia
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Brownie, Llaoihrr


« Reply #4 on: July 18, 2007, 09:36:07 AM »

I think I'm done now. grin
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Zack Ramsey
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« Reply #5 on: July 18, 2007, 10:47:21 AM »

I came to your Cd in hope of letting others see me in action on commenting on cds, in hope of catching some attention, but yet I come to a CD that I can find no fault in and that uses very large words... Really nice CD and sorry but you are going to have to wait till someone with more talent than I takes a look to get any kind of comment other than "Nice CD". Very well written and its obvious you did your research.
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Kalína Dalá'isyrás
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« Reply #6 on: July 18, 2007, 11:32:17 AM »

I have spoken to you already in IRC ^.~ but I thought I would mention it here so neither you nor I forget.  grin

Quote
Strengths:
- Skilled with her blowpipe, Allia can shoot darts up to a distance of twelve peds. She can only fire accurately on foot, from the back of her fox her darts often go astray.

The distance of 12peds, which equals to about 40ft, seems a bit "long-range" in my mind. But as we both noticed, that is the distance given in the entry so I am going to speak to the dev. board about it before I make any final decision on the matter.

Everything else looks good!  Thumb up
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Insanity is only a perception made by those who have yet to attain its greatness. While those of us who have already stepped inside its bounds find bliss in our utter madness.
Nai'r en'Lina ar'Kaimel
Kalína Dalá'isyrás
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« Reply #7 on: July 19, 2007, 10:47:03 AM »

Ok, I have an answer for you concerning the distance..

The entry will indeed be changed to a more realistic distance of about 2-4 peds. Brownie Discussion

So, go ahead and make the necessary changes and you should have your first approval.  Pet
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Insanity is only a perception made by those who have yet to attain its greatness. While those of us who have already stepped inside its bounds find bliss in our utter madness.
Nai'r en'Lina ar'Kaimel
Allia
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Brownie, Llaoihrr


« Reply #8 on: July 20, 2007, 01:39:06 AM »

Thanks for clarifying that Kalina. :)

I've edited the CD accordingly. And I've also edited a few details about her blowpipe and darts after reading the blowpipe entry. All edits are marked in brown. ;)
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Kalína Dalá'isyrás
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« Reply #9 on: July 20, 2007, 02:24:35 AM »

Looks good dear  ;)
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Insanity is only a perception made by those who have yet to attain its greatness. While those of us who have already stepped inside its bounds find bliss in our utter madness.
Nai'r en'Lina ar'Kaimel
Allia
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« Reply #10 on: July 21, 2007, 02:19:32 AM »

Thanks Kalina! Pet
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Mina
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« Reply #11 on: July 23, 2007, 02:05:53 AM »

I see just one problem: there doesn't seem to be any Brownie ethnic group called 'silverbark'.  Do you mean birchbark? 
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Allia
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Brownie, Llaoihrr


« Reply #12 on: July 23, 2007, 02:22:56 AM »

I meant the silver sub-shade of a Greybark. I thought it would be okay to call it a Silverbark, but I can change it to Greybark if you think I should.
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Mina
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« Reply #13 on: July 23, 2007, 02:28:14 AM »

Ah, okay.  I'd never heard it called that though.  Perhaps it would be better to explain it somewhere, to avoid confusing people. 
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Allia
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Brownie, Llaoihrr


« Reply #14 on: July 23, 2007, 02:35:29 AM »

Okay, I've mentioned that the first time I mention Mithril in the CD. And I marked it in silver. ;)
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