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Author Topic: The Codex (Story)  (Read 1709 times)
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Xun Darkwoe
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« on: August 12, 2007, 03:47:52 AM »

Okay, I am not entirely sure here, but stay with me.

Since I am not sure if everyone I want to play wants to play, and this is just the base start, I am not sure if it is going to be working immediately.

Idea for Xun After a long time of thinking who had murdered his mother, Xun Darkwoe was disrupted by the hearing of a book known as the codex. The codex, said to be written by the archmagi of heaven, was said to be found at the highest peak of the Imlith mountains. The legend of the codex was that it had everything in the history of the world written in it. If Xun can find such a book, he could find out how his mother died more than anything.

However, the Imlith mountains is not only hard to climb, but hard to get to. And first Xun wants to research the legend of the codex more, to prove it was more than just a silly thing a kid made up. Finding that it was made from an angel of Ava, and was once again said to be atop the highest peak of the Imlith mountains. Xun wants to go to the Imlith mountains almost right away, but he first goes to Ximax.

By now Xun has gained the companions of others. Many people want to come with him. They would have uses for this book as well. If they find it, all of them can look in it, right? after they get to Ximax, they find that the codex was inside the mountain. Apparently, a cave near the top of the mountain led you inside to the codex. Xun and the others were not sure if the cave was as simple as that.

Now Xun tries to go through to the Imlith mountains. Although, from Ximax of southern santharia to the Imliths of northern santharia is a long trek, and they stop at many places. The first place they stop is Salsair. they rest here and than merely continue the trek after regaining supplies.

After many stops, they get to Silven. They decided to take up supplies here and rest, for it was close to the Imlith mountains. as soon as they go out, Xun sees his rival.

Thorgas Ironforge, a Mitharim dwarf, and a tour of other dwarves, are going to the same place for the same reason. Xun wants to find he codex to find out about his mother, but he does not know why anyone like Thorgas would.

After a battle with the dwarves, resulting in the casualty to their guide who was taking them to the mountains and some of the lowly mercenaries that were hired, both the dwarves and Xun's party cut off.

It has turned into a race to get to the top. While the dwarves want the codex for whatever reason, and Xun wants it for his mother, they try to get to the top first, so they can et the codex.

As soon as Xun's party get to the base of the Imliths, they find the dwarves at the same place. They find each other again, and once again, a battle sequence starts.

They break off again when the dwarves start to climb the deadly mountain. Now the part have to climb it themselves. they get halfway up the mountain, and finds that the dwarves were already there, taking a break.

Xun and the others try to get up higher before they took a break, and when they get to a ledge, an explosion erupts at the peak, knocking off Xun and the dwarves.

after hours of unconciousness, xun gets up and tries to awake the others. what had just happened? obviously whatever had happened didn't want either of the parties to get to the top, but they tried once more.

Finally, after days of work and fighting of any wolves or creatures that come, they get to the top cave. The dwarves were inside, looking amazed.

Xun and the rest try to sneak past, but immediately looked in awe as well. The inner part of the cave was fill with rocks and natural things, but there was a stone carving, about 8 peds tall. It was a carving of a book with an archmagi behind it. the thing that was amazing, though, was that it was filled with jewels of all rarities. One part, in the middle of the book, looked like a keyhole of some sort.

At the bottom of the carving that a jewel of rarity was needed to open the door. there was apparently only one jewel in the world. than, an archmage comes out from a giant boulder in a corner, appearing to have been waiting for them. It could have been the archmage of heaven, but what had interested xun was that the picture of the jewel on the carving was exactly like the jewel on the archmage's staff.

Fighting the archmagi, and not nearly winning, Xun and the dwarves have to team up to try and fight him now. They devise a plan to just try and get the staff away from the archmagi, and then just try to open the door and make a run for it, for the mage was much too strong.

Finally, Xun gets the staff out of the archmagi's hand, and quickly opens the door to the codex. the carving rumbled, and finally went aside to make a doorway. The codex was right there, on the ground in the middle of another carving.

Xun tries to get the book, but the archmagi gets in front of it, and makes the codex... disappear. He then makes the mountain cave rumble, causing a cave in. Xun and the dwarves have to get out quickly before the cave falls on top of them.

They get out, no codex, no jewels, nothing. It was all a big waste. The codex was lost forever. No one would be able to peek in it's pages. It was gone...


There is a storyline for Thorgas as well, but I will need him for that when the time comes. I will try to do some more of the other parts.

story mods: Xun Darkwoe and Thorgas Ironforge.

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Your inner nature resides in your heart and your mind. If either of those are lost, everything that matters is no more
Niccoli Faust
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« Reply #1 on: August 12, 2007, 03:49:06 AM »

Problem, Archmage of Heaven? Don't exist mate.
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Xun Darkwoe
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« Reply #2 on: August 12, 2007, 03:54:36 AM »

It can. All I need is a little trip to the developers forum
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Your inner nature resides in your heart and your mind. If either of those are lost, everything that matters is no more
Niccoli Faust
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« Reply #3 on: August 12, 2007, 04:03:25 AM »

Don't go that route man, it just clutters the forum. The Dev board is not an means to an end.
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Vesk Lyricahl
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« Reply #4 on: August 12, 2007, 08:08:11 AM »

I'm sorry to say that your story doesn't work in more than one way. Keep in mind that everything I say here will be constructive criticism, or at least I intend for it to be.

1. I don't think this codex will work. A book that contains the entire history of the world requires a bit of a stretch with the imagination. It also seems to be a stretch for a character to seek such a book to learn of his mother's murder. There are surely more feasible means to go about such a quest for knowledge. I would suggest rethinking the artifact you intend to use as the goal for your story. Whatever you come up with, make it realistic and something your players will desire.

2. I personally caution against having a story revolve around one character so much. If you were to ever leave the story, it would fall apart simply because the plot relies so much on your character. Also, there seems to be no reasons for anyone to accompany Xun in his quest. Again, it goes back to your artifact being what it is.

3. There are no angels in this world, so you'll need another creation myth for your artifact. I would suggest creating this artifact on the dev board first. If you can satisfy the devvies with it, then you're well on your way to having a suitable artifact for your story.

4. To travel from Santharia to Northern Sarvonia you have to pass through the Tandala Highlands. They are virtually impassable, so it would be in your best interest to sail around instead. Altering the journey will potentially alter the plot, but it must be done.

5. The plot seems to be lacking in detail. Even if this is just a rough draft, you need a better idea of what the plot will entail. As it stands, much of the plot happens before the journey is even underway, which is fine, but there needs to be a plot along the journey as well. The race against the dwarves is lacking in explanation; the parties seem to be competing for no apparent reason.

6. You're not going to be allowed to have an archmage as an NPC. To include one in the climax of the plot as you have requires that he be played as an NPC, which will not be allowed due to his considerable power.

7. Even if the quest ends without either party obtaining the artifact, you shouldn't say so out in the open. What players will want to journey on a hopeless quest? Also, you should be open to more than one ending as much of it depends on your players.
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Thorgas Ironforge
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« Reply #5 on: August 12, 2007, 10:50:52 PM »

Xun, you included me in your story without even my approval if I wanted to or not.

You still have the Mithral Murder story unfinished, so I take it that you have abandoned that one.
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A weak mind is a deadly foe.
Thorgas Ironforge
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Xun Darkwoe
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« Reply #6 on: August 15, 2007, 11:32:03 AM »

Well... I didn't really abandon it, it's just that no one commented  on it for so long that eventually I just left it. I could bring it back though...
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Kalína Dalá'isyrás
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« Reply #7 on: August 15, 2007, 12:31:38 PM »

Why don't you try that Xun instead of trying to start completely over ^.^
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Insanity is only a perception made by those who have yet to attain its greatness. While those of us who have already stepped inside its bounds find bliss in our utter madness.
Nai'r en'Lina ar'Kaimel
Shansi
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« Reply #8 on: August 15, 2007, 03:34:32 PM »

I know that I am not yet a titled character but like vesk and the others, I would like to comment on your story:

You can have an archmage of (place God here) rather than an archmage of heaven.
How the would a mortal archmage be able to write  the book that contains all the history!
Agree with Vesk. Your story is Xun-centric.


Suggestions:
Can I suggest that the artifact was made by seyella since she is the Goddess of time and destiny.

But since I am new here... yu can ignore me, correct me and everything
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Kalína Dalá'isyrás
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« Reply #9 on: August 15, 2007, 03:40:36 PM »

Archmages are banned for a reason.

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Insanity is only a perception made by those who have yet to attain its greatness. While those of us who have already stepped inside its bounds find bliss in our utter madness.
Nai'r en'Lina ar'Kaimel
Shansi
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« Reply #10 on: August 15, 2007, 06:24:42 PM »

@ Kalina:
Archamages are abandoned because they are too powerful right?
@Xun
And xun you may want to change the name of the book

Yeah and I also got an idea: Just a summary

On the beginning of time Seyella made the "codex" so that all the children of Ava could see the past, the present, the future. but many kings abused it and used it to know how his enemy would react in the future. Seyella cannot bring herself for the book itself is her creation that reflects herself. He hid it in a cavesof Imlith and she called upon Querpur to summon a mighty beast to guard it. Many perils was to pass to those who tries to reach the book.

Yeah and the jewel for a key? You can put it in the head of the guardian...

This is a mere suggestion and you can ignore it. I like your story and would like to join if it is approved and if I ever get titled.
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Inkear
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« Reply #11 on: August 15, 2007, 08:52:28 PM »

Yes Helvil. The fact that the archmage in question doens't exist aside, they are far too powerful to be played. By anyone.
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Kareesh Valendar
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« Reply #12 on: August 16, 2007, 05:24:27 AM »

Except for the admins when they are feeling exceptionally grumpy. ^^
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Shansi
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« Reply #13 on: August 16, 2007, 02:40:47 PM »

Admins are scary when they are angry  Rolling :P

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Kalína Dalá'isyrás
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« Reply #14 on: August 16, 2007, 02:41:37 PM »

I don't think you have ever seen me angry Helvil...
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Insanity is only a perception made by those who have yet to attain its greatness. While those of us who have already stepped inside its bounds find bliss in our utter madness.
Nai'r en'Lina ar'Kaimel
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