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Kyrridhil Culná mo / Aellenhrim Elf / Hapless Romantic
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Topic: Kyrridhil Culná mo / Aellenhrim Elf / Hapless Romantic (Read 16037 times)
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Kyrridhil Culná mo
Hapless Romantic
Approved Character
Offline
Gender:
Posts: 212
Elf, Aellenhrim / Eophyrhim.
Re: Kyrridhil Culná mo / Aellenhrim Elf / Hapless Romantic
«
Reply #30 on:
September 04, 2007, 12:34:49 AM »
No comments for three days now
The last comment was my friend from school who i told to post a comment to act as a bump!
If you dont comment i will sing agadoo! Im just crazy enough to do it!
Logged
Smell that? Yeah thats you wallowing in self pity.
Deal With It
-Kyrridhil Culná mo to a Remusian guard after being told he had brittle hair.
Kyrridhil Culná Mo
|
Frozen Darkness
Kyrridhil Culná mo
Hapless Romantic
Approved Character
Offline
Gender:
Posts: 212
Elf, Aellenhrim / Eophyrhim.
Re: Kyrridhil Culná mo / Aellenhrim Elf / Hapless Romantic
«
Reply #31 on:
September 04, 2007, 12:39:58 AM »
i g2g now. Fingers crossed someone will have commented (Even if it is to say this is crap and i need to start again.)
Logged
Smell that? Yeah thats you wallowing in self pity.
Deal With It
-Kyrridhil Culná mo to a Remusian guard after being told he had brittle hair.
Kyrridhil Culná Mo
|
Frozen Darkness
Thorgas Ironforge
Ironforge Pyromancer
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Posts: 1540
Dwarf, Mitharim
Re: Kyrridhil Culná mo / Aellenhrim Elf / Hapless Romantic
«
Reply #32 on:
September 04, 2007, 01:19:43 AM »
Red.
Name: Kyrridhil Culná mo
Race: Elven
Tribe: Aellenhrim (65% Aellenhrim, 35% Eophyrhim)
Desired Title: Hapless Romantic
Occupation: Swordsman for Hire
Age: 342
Height: 2 Ped, 1 Palmspan
Weight: 2 pyggee, 8 Hebs, 2 Ods, 1 Mut
Hair colour: White
Eye colour: Green
Overview:
Kyrridhil was shunned by the females of his tribe whilst young due to the Eophyrhim blood in his veins
(His eophyrhim characteristics won't be noticeable due to his Aellenrhim heritage. An Aellenrhim's appearance varies greatly, and the latter won't be recognized unless they knew that he has an Eophyrhim parent.)
. Whilst faint, it caused him to be exceptionally tall amongst his Tribe. He has always been shy around girls and now and believes that by being desperately romantic he can make up for his height. Although he is soppy beyond belief. Kyrridhil is very protective and anything he perceives as an insult to either him or his newest pursuit will be met by cold steel and a piercing glare liable to make even an
(o)
Orc fill his underpants... If said
(o)
Orc wore underpants that is.
Appearance:
Kyrridhil is somewhat of a gentle, but easily aggravated,
(remove the comma)
giant. At a first glance one might think Kyrridhil was a barbarian, or perhaps has an orc ancestor. He is strangely large for an elf being both tall and exceedingly muscular at the same time
(How so? Both of his parents are elves, and thus no traces of a large muscular body will be present.)
. As a result of this he wields weapons too cumbersome for all but the strongest of humans with ease. His face is framed by long white hair which falls past his shoulders and down his back. His features are both delicate but weathered at the same time. His visage is nothing short of handsome, somewhat suprisingly when you consider how his Eophyrhim blood has so sharply affected other features of him. In comparison with his huge body. His head is actually quite small.. Large hands tense at the ends of strong sinewy arms and his legs seem powerful enough to kick an ogre to the far side of the river
(An ogre stands at 3 peds in height and are exceedingly large; those legs must be awfully huge.)
.
Clothing
Kyrridhil has always been ashamed of his rather un-elf like frame and as such wears loose fitting clothing. He wears a large green tunic over a chainmail shirt which is bound at the waist by a leather belt made from the pelt of a deer. On his legs Kyrridhil wears loose fitting brown breeches made from the same deer his belt was made from. On his feet he wears brown leather riding boots for greater manoeuverability
(maneuverability)
. When arrayed for battle though, Kyrridhil is attired very differently...
Armour
For battle or when Kyrridhil feels the need to
(be)
better protected or just more intimidating. He has acquired almost a full set of armour. He wears
(s)
Steel greaves which whilst heavy, are fairly flexible
(flexible steel?)
and so do not hamper his movement too much. Gifted to him by his father was a chainmail fauld*
(fauld*?)
and platemail breastplate. Kyrridhil does not wear metal plated gloves. Instead he wears fingerless leather gloves as he reasons that he has more control over his sword this way. He wears no helmet of any form as he thinks it could give him dreadful hat hair and cause him to lose the favour of a female companion.
Personality
Kyrridhil is not as he may first appear. He is, generally, a polite and well mannered elf, with a tendency to be extremely soppy. He can find it hard to make friends though due to his large and intimidating body. This is an annoyance to him as he loves being the centre of attention and can get depressed if he is out of the social limelight for too long. Despite being this gentle giant, Kyrridhil is very easily angered by anything he deems a threat or an insult to him or his latest pursuit. This normally ends badly for the other person but has been the cause of many unneccesary concussions and scars for Kyrridhil. On a general note though, it is best to try not to insult Kyrridhil or say anything he could perceive as a negative comment about his hair. It will either force him to tears or rouse him to great anger.
Strengths
Physically Strong
Kyrridhil unusually for elves, is very clearly strong. His huge muscles allow him to wield large weapons, like his Greatsword, with ease. It allows him to cause considerable damage with every blow of his sword. It also allows him to stay on the trail of someone for days with little rest.
(You can be physically strong, but you can't have the muscular body of an orc or even a human. Both your parents are elves.)
Honourable
This can be very useful in a party situation as Kyrridhil is very VERY unlikely to abandon the group unless he feels it contradicts his beliefs or places himself or a female companion in mortal danger.
Intimidating
Thanks to his appearance and strength, Kyrridhil is extremely intimidating and quite often can make a journey considerably easier just by being present. He doesn
'
t mean to scare people and can feel quite guilty afterwards.
Greatsword
After many years of training with a greatsword. Kyrridhil is very proficient with it. This is helped by his strength. When combined together. It makes Kyrridhil a formidable opponent indeed.
Shortbow
While by no means an expert.
(remove the period, put a comma)
O
(o)
r even consistent.
(remove the period, put a comma)
Kyrridhil can every now and again,
(remove the comma)
perform amazing feats of skill with a shortbow
(Amazing feats? I thought he is no expert.)
. Normally however.
(remove the period, put a comma)
I
(i)
t takes him at least 3 attempts to kill an animal and often he ends up shooting himself in the foot.
Weaknesses
Intimidating
As mentioned earlier, Kyrridhil is somewhat intimidating. This can be a great boon but means that he does not make friends as well as others. As such in times of darkness and need, Kyrridhil has comparatively fewer friends to call upon than most in this world.
Clean Freak
Kyrridhi,l
(Kyrridhil)
like most elves of his tribe, is very hygienic. He takes it to the next level and is somewhat of a
(c)
Clean
(f)
Freak. During a fight this can be a great disadvantage as if Kyrridhil sees blood drying on his sword, dirt on his armour or worse than those put together, something caught in his hair; Kyrridhil will panic and frantically try to get rid of it before it could dry and leave a mark. A good way of putting Kyrridhil out of a fight for a while is to throw a handful of mud at his armour.
(He'll worry more about his appearance in the heat of a battle than his life?)
Over-Protective
As
(I)
i mentioned earlier, Kyrridhil has a fiery temper when it comes to insults to either him or a female companion he is particularly fond of. He can often find himself in unnecessary fights due to this. Unfortunately for him he tends to get into arguments with the wrong people. Like when he challenged a dwarf to a fight as he thought the dwarf was giving him dirty looks, as a result. He almost had his skull caved in.
Scared of Dwarfs
Ever since he almost had his head caved in by a dwarf. Kyrridhil, unsuprisingly, has been somewhat reluctant to work and travel with him
(them)
. This is not to say he has any serious prejudice. He just doesnt want to risk getting another serious injury
Vain
Kyrridhil is extremely vain, he strives to keep himself looking perfect so as to avoid catastrophe when it comes to his social life. Kyrridhil is likely to react in two ways when on the receiving end of an insult. He either becomes paranoid and can cry. Or he becomes very violent. A good method of bullying him is telling him he has something in his hair. It is not without risks however.
History
(I will check your history only after you have used the spellchecker on it.)
Weapons
The Greatsword
After years of sparring with his father and pitting himself against numerous foes, some quite unneccisarily
(unecessarily)
Kyrridhil has become quite accomplished with the
(g)
Greatsword. Thanks to his
(s)
Strength, he wields it with ease and is capable of doing a lot of damage with one sweep of this hefty blade. As to the blade itself. It is of a decent quality, with the blade being well balanced
(space)
and razor sharp. The hilt is inlaid with
(space)
a sapphire with no special properties other than boosting the swords worth somewhat. Recently Kyrridhil has wrapped leather around the handle to make it more comfortable to wield for prolonged fights
The Shortbow
By no means Kyrridhil's weapon of choice. He uses this purely for hunting purposes and occasionally to scare off an enemy who Kyrridhil knows neither he or his companions could deal with comfortably with in close combat. Kyrridhil is fairly proficient with this. Although when he misses. Ducking and taking cover would be the best course of action.
Belongings
-An
(o)
Ornate, but not expensive scabbard for his sword.
-At least a weeks supply of trail rations.
-A large waterskin.
-Flint
-A small collapsible pot used for cooking meat whilst on the road.
-A sharp knife used for preparing food.
-A money-purse, usually lighter than kyrridhil would prefer.
-A pipe, gifted to him by the hobbits of the Dogodan shire after being a 'Most delightful Elf to have stay with us'. Kyrridhil suspects however they were scared of him and just wanted to keep him pleasd.
-A set of panpipes which serve only to keep him amused.
-A metal wrist band given to him by his parents when he left home to travel the world. It is of no significance or particular worth but reminds him of his parents love in times of darkness and despair
Have a nice day.
Logged
A weak mind is a deadly foe.
Thorgas Ironforge
Buri
Thorgas' theme song
Kyrridhil Culná mo
Hapless Romantic
Approved Character
Offline
Gender:
Posts: 212
Elf, Aellenhrim / Eophyrhim.
Re: Kyrridhil Culná mo / Aellenhrim Elf / Hapless Romantic
«
Reply #33 on:
September 04, 2007, 11:53:55 PM »
(He'll worry more about his appearance in the heat of a battle than his life?)
As to that, he wont stand there. Hell run away and then fix the problem. Thats why its a weakness.
That probably sounds more dismissive than it meant to, sorry if it does
Edit:
Thank you Thorgas
Edit:
Have ran the history through Word's spell checker as it does more stuff than the one ont he forums. Fixed everything that Word found unsatisfactory.
Edit:
Have fixed all the points you made Thorgas and explained a Fauld. (It is real,) Will rewrite parts of history to fit.
Gotta go will do more tommrow
«
Last Edit: September 05, 2007, 12:11:10 AM by Kyrridhil Culná mo
»
Logged
Smell that? Yeah thats you wallowing in self pity.
Deal With It
-Kyrridhil Culná mo to a Remusian guard after being told he had brittle hair.
Kyrridhil Culná Mo
|
Frozen Darkness
Thorgas Ironforge
Ironforge Pyromancer
Offline
Gender:
Posts: 1540
Dwarf, Mitharim
Re: Kyrridhil Culná mo / Aellenhrim Elf / Hapless Romantic
«
Reply #34 on:
September 05, 2007, 12:12:32 AM »
Please fix the grammar in your history. Place commas instead of periods wherever it is required, and do not capitalize words which are not meant to be capitalized. Not to be a very nit-picky person, but I find it difficult to read your history.
I can smell an approval in the air.
Logged
A weak mind is a deadly foe.
Thorgas Ironforge
Buri
Thorgas' theme song
Kyrridhil Culná mo
Hapless Romantic
Approved Character
Offline
Gender:
Posts: 212
Elf, Aellenhrim / Eophyrhim.
Re: Kyrridhil Culná mo / Aellenhrim Elf / Hapless Romantic
«
Reply #35 on:
September 05, 2007, 11:37:38 PM »
Ok, will fix that. Grammatical should be fixed though. I ran it through word Spell checker. And as to the smell, that could be me. I had beans for breakfast.
Bump
Edit:
Have ran it through Word again and have changed many many things. Reading through again now to pick up on things that Word doesn't.
«
Last Edit: September 05, 2007, 11:53:55 PM by Kyrridhil Culná mo
»
Logged
Smell that? Yeah thats you wallowing in self pity.
Deal With It
-Kyrridhil Culná mo to a Remusian guard after being told he had brittle hair.
Kyrridhil Culná Mo
|
Frozen Darkness
Vesk Lyricahl
Woeful Rover
Approved Character
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Posts: 1454
Human, Eyelian
Re: Kyrridhil Culná mo / Aellenhrim Elf / Hapless Romantic
«
Reply #36 on:
September 06, 2007, 12:03:00 AM »
You have your first approval.
Thorg should be on his way with his soon, providing that your grammar meets his standards.
Logged
Not all who wander are lost. - J.R.R. Tolkien
Kyrridhil Culná mo
Hapless Romantic
Approved Character
Offline
Gender:
Posts: 212
Elf, Aellenhrim / Eophyrhim.
Re: Kyrridhil Culná mo / Aellenhrim Elf / Hapless Romantic
«
Reply #37 on:
September 06, 2007, 12:07:26 AM »
*worships the ground vesk walks on*
Thank You!
Wow, that's a really good feeling when you get a thumbs up. Cool!
Logged
Smell that? Yeah thats you wallowing in self pity.
Deal With It
-Kyrridhil Culná mo to a Remusian guard after being told he had brittle hair.
Kyrridhil Culná Mo
|
Frozen Darkness
Kyrridhil Culná mo
Hapless Romantic
Approved Character
Offline
Gender:
Posts: 212
Elf, Aellenhrim / Eophyrhim.
Re: Kyrridhil Culná mo / Aellenhrim Elf / Hapless Romantic
«
Reply #38 on:
September 06, 2007, 12:11:12 AM »
Gotta go now. Will check back tommorow or later. Depending Cya all. Thank you again Vesk
Logged
Smell that? Yeah thats you wallowing in self pity.
Deal With It
-Kyrridhil Culná mo to a Remusian guard after being told he had brittle hair.
Kyrridhil Culná Mo
|
Frozen Darkness
Kalína Dalá'isyrás
Dalá'isyrás
Offline
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Posts: 12803
High Elf, Kaýrrhem
Re: Kyrridhil Culná mo / Aellenhrim Elf / Hapless Romantic
«
Reply #39 on:
September 06, 2007, 12:21:09 AM »
I will go ahead and do the grammar run through. Fortunately for you, a URI with red markings will not be appearing. I will be directly editing your CD with the changes.
Logged
Insanity is only a perception made by those who have yet to attain its greatness. While those of us who have already stepped inside its bounds find bliss in our utter madness.
Nai'r en'Lina ar'Kaimel
Simonne Miller
Guest
Re: Kyrridhil Culná mo / Aellenhrim Elf / Hapless Romantic
«
Reply #40 on:
September 06, 2007, 03:49:33 AM »
All right, I only have one or two things before I feel I can give you your second approval.
-He fights with several bears? Alone? Even with his greatsword, it is quite a feet to survive several encounters with a bear.
-Even after a year the halflings were still scared of him? Didn't they know by now that he means them no harm?
-Throughout your CD, you write a dot where there should be a comma. I'll give an example:
Now, four years after he left home and at the end of his travels through Santharia, seeing the wonders of the Dwarven cities and enjoying halfling hospitality on the way. He has finally arrived at the Human Kingdoms.
> between 'way' and 'he' there should be a comma. A sentence where the only verb ends with 'ing' or 'ed' can't stand on it's own, it needs a sentence where the verb is conjugated normally. You usually have the right order, only a dot where the comma should be. I hope I'm making sense now
When you've addressed these things, I see no reason to withhold a second approval
Logged
Kyrridhil Culná mo
Hapless Romantic
Approved Character
Offline
Gender:
Posts: 212
Elf, Aellenhrim / Eophyrhim.
Re: Kyrridhil Culná mo / Aellenhrim Elf / Hapless Romantic
«
Reply #41 on:
September 06, 2007, 11:43:00 PM »
'feet' should be spelt feat when used like that
Have fixed and am just finding the bear bit now
Edit:
Have found the bear bits and fixed. He fought a bear whilst on the way to Human Kingdoms and one on the way to the Dogodan shire
«
Last Edit: September 06, 2007, 11:45:18 PM by Kyrridhil Culná mo
»
Logged
Smell that? Yeah thats you wallowing in self pity.
Deal With It
-Kyrridhil Culná mo to a Remusian guard after being told he had brittle hair.
Kyrridhil Culná Mo
|
Frozen Darkness
Kalína Dalá'isyrás
Dalá'isyrás
Offline
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Posts: 12803
High Elf, Kaýrrhem
Re: Kyrridhil Culná mo / Aellenhrim Elf / Hapless Romantic
«
Reply #42 on:
September 06, 2007, 11:56:00 PM »
Looks ok to me. Go ahead and remove the color and you have your second approval and title!
Logged
Insanity is only a perception made by those who have yet to attain its greatness. While those of us who have already stepped inside its bounds find bliss in our utter madness.
Nai'r en'Lina ar'Kaimel
Kyrridhil Culná mo
Hapless Romantic
Approved Character
Offline
Gender:
Posts: 212
Elf, Aellenhrim / Eophyrhim.
Re: Kyrridhil Culná mo / Aellenhrim Elf / Hapless Romantic
«
Reply #43 on:
September 07, 2007, 12:02:17 AM »
Done
Logged
Smell that? Yeah thats you wallowing in self pity.
Deal With It
-Kyrridhil Culná mo to a Remusian guard after being told he had brittle hair.
Kyrridhil Culná Mo
|
Frozen Darkness
Kalína Dalá'isyrás
Dalá'isyrás
Offline
Gender:
Posts: 12803
High Elf, Kaýrrhem
Re: Kyrridhil Culná mo / Aellenhrim Elf / Hapless Romantic
«
Reply #44 on:
September 07, 2007, 12:07:51 AM »
And Titled! Enjoy!
Logged
Insanity is only a perception made by those who have yet to attain its greatness. While those of us who have already stepped inside its bounds find bliss in our utter madness.
Nai'r en'Lina ar'Kaimel
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Kyrridhil Culná mo / Aellenhrim Elf / Hapless Romantic
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