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Author Topic: Celebriän / Eophyrhim / Rogue & scavenger  (Read 23273 times)
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Seh'nara Celebrindal
Swift Ranger
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Elf, Tethinrhim
« Reply #15 on: December 10, 2007, 07:32:30 PM »
Without giving you a complete uri, I'd advise you to fix your grammar and format. For one, your history is really too short, and the first section should be called Physical Appearance. But honestly, grammar should be the first thing on your list. I should think that a gramatically correct CD would attract more comments than one without, won't you?  ;)
« Last Edit: December 10, 2007, 07:32:49 PM by Seh'nara Celebrindal » Logged
Celebriän Véneanár
Lost Eophyrhim
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Elf, Eophyrhim
« Reply #16 on: December 11, 2007, 12:52:12 PM »
but i have done that i have used Microsoft word and my mother.I DO NOT SEE HOW TO EMPROVE IT AND I CANT!!!!!
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iuá lythán iuá eophyrán.-Celebriän Véneanár
Seh'nara Celebrindal
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Elf, Tethinrhim
« Reply #17 on: December 11, 2007, 01:20:52 PM »
Listen.

It's IMPROVE. Shouting will get you nowhere. Be polite. Your S&W are all over the place. Try putting a new strength/weakness one line down. You're overpowered. Try to balance with either more weaknesses, or less strenghts. Expand on your history. If you can't think of any ideas, try to put more detail in you already have. Like, why did she do what she did? What happened after?

Have a nice day.
Seh'nara
« Last Edit: December 11, 2007, 01:23:09 PM by Seh'nara Celebrindal » Logged
Celebriän Véneanár
Lost Eophyrhim
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Elf, Eophyrhim
« Reply #18 on: December 14, 2007, 08:44:56 AM »
ok,done
« Last Edit: December 16, 2007, 05:30:21 PM by Celebriän Véneanár » Logged
iuá lythán iuá eophyrán.-Celebriän Véneanár
Simonne Miller
Guest
« Reply #19 on: December 14, 2007, 05:40:38 PM »
If you want comments, please use the appropriate posticon :)
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Celebriän Véneanár
Lost Eophyrhim
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Elf, Eophyrhim
« Reply #20 on: December 15, 2007, 08:46:39 AM »
fixed that to
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iuá lythán iuá eophyrán.-Celebriän Véneanár
Seh'nara Celebrindal
Swift Ranger
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Elf, Tethinrhim
« Reply #21 on: December 16, 2007, 03:19:57 PM »
May I please quote Twen, one of our CD mods here:

Maybe pondering the basic rules of this forum would help you gather more useful comments. The thread at the top of this forum with the words "Must Read" might be an indication you should .... read them.

Quote
1) When you create the thread in which you are going to post your character description or CD. CD is the short form of “Character Description”, pretty commonly used in these parts. So it would be wise to become acquainted with it now. The Moderators and Administration respectfully request that the title of your thread contains nothing more or less than Name/Tribe/Occupation. These simple notations draw the attention of those most qualified to help you. “Not so difficult, don’t you think?”

I think the above quote from that thread is most fitting here, don't you? Possibly reading it in its entirety would save from future misunderstandings. When the effort to do the best you can is ignored, sometimes the Mods feel that their efforts are not being appreciated.

Have a nice day.
Seh'nara
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Celebriän Véneanár
Lost Eophyrhim
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Elf, Eophyrhim
« Reply #22 on: December 16, 2007, 03:46:18 PM »
ok
« Last Edit: December 16, 2007, 05:30:36 PM by Celebriän Véneanár » Logged
iuá lythán iuá eophyrán.-Celebriän Véneanár
Twén Aråerwén
Death's Mistress
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Elf, Ifer’hém
« Reply #23 on: December 16, 2007, 04:02:21 PM »
The tribe you have mentioned are dark of hair, black and dark brown being the predominant. Also their skin is very pallid and as such .... your avatar does not give a remote idea of your characters looks. There is only one tribe of elves that have red eyes (This is from an eye disease and is not natural) and your character is not from them, hence no red eyes. In addition the name Do'Urden is a registered trademark, so it should be changed as well.

P.S.: Either change the title of your thread or I shall change it.
~Sincerely~
Cáo cár'tuulenís:Twen Araerwen
« Last Edit: December 16, 2007, 04:04:38 PM by Twén Aråerwén » Logged
•º•The spell fell upon the crowd like a dragon, •º•
•º•ancient and full of death.•º•
_.·´¯) Twén Aråerwén's CD(¯`·._
Celebriän Véneanár
Lost Eophyrhim
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Elf, Eophyrhim
« Reply #24 on: December 16, 2007, 05:32:32 PM »
what more have i too do,or is it mod ready? please  grin grin grin grin grin grin grin
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iuá lythán iuá eophyrán.-Celebriän Véneanár
Celebriän Véneanár
Lost Eophyrhim
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Elf, Eophyrhim
« Reply #25 on: December 23, 2007, 09:18:00 AM »
bump
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iuá lythán iuá eophyrán.-Celebriän Véneanár
Eléyr Fásamár
Serenity's Embodiment
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Elf ~ Kaýrrhem
« Reply #26 on: December 24, 2007, 07:43:14 AM »
Just a couple ideas while you are waiting for a mod...

You mention a scar from a spear being thrown at your face in your appearance. Perhaps you would consider recounting this tale in your history? Also in your history you mention piercing your face. You could describe exactly what these piercings look like in your appearance section.

Also you could look at a CD of one of the already approved characters. Most of them have their CD links in their sig. Then you can see the level of detail most people look for on this site.
« Last Edit: December 24, 2007, 07:45:30 AM by Eleyr Fasamar » Logged
Those who say only Insanity can bring true relaxation...
Have clearly never hired a Mindsmoother!
Eléyr's CD ~¤•¤~ Character Creation ~¤•¤~ Restrictions ~¤•¤~ CD Etiquette
Celebriän Véneanár
Lost Eophyrhim
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Posts: 110


Elf, Eophyrhim
« Reply #27 on: January 04, 2008, 10:19:06 AM »
bump
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iuá lythán iuá eophyrán.-Celebriän Véneanár
Pikel Thunderstone
Guest
« Reply #28 on: January 04, 2008, 01:01:59 PM »
Since it still has the pencil Icon, the moderators will assume that you are still writing this CD, and thus there is no need to 'bump' it. If, however, this is ready for comments, you  should put up the exclamation mark icon :)
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Celebriän Véneanár
Lost Eophyrhim
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Elf, Eophyrhim
« Reply #29 on: January 10, 2008, 12:28:28 PM »
I am in the middle of adding/typing six pages into my CD and i dont have a lot of time and all so it is tacking me a while
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iuá lythán iuá eophyrán.-Celebriän Véneanár
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