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Author Topic: Laoise Tyrani/Helcrani/Mage & Scribe  (Read 7833 times)
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Laoise Tyrani
Venomous Enchantress
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Human, Helcrani


« on: November 24, 2007, 04:34:38 AM »

Name ~ Laoise Tyani (ne Laoise Jarol)

Gender ~ Female

Age ~ 29

Race ~ Human

Tribe ~ Helcrani

Occupation ~  Mage and Scribe.  Laoise will write letters or make copies of documents as there are few people who will pay someone simply to do magic.

Title ~ Venomous Enchantress

Appearance
Somewhat naturally endowed, Laoise enjoys enhancing her appearance as much as possible.  When she has the time and the equipment she can turn herself into a vision of sparkling beauty, curling her hair properly with hot tongs and outlining her features with paints.  However this is sadly rare on her travels, and she normally makes do with tying her naturally wavy hair back in a leather thong and brushing her eyebrows into a sleek, streamlined shape.  Both of these are a deep, warm, auburn colour, and her hair falls about a palmspan below shoulder length when loose.  Her eyebrows and eyelashes are a few shades darker than her hair; the eyebrows plucked religiously to form two symmetrical arches.

Her rounded, diamond-shaped face is smooth and clear with large well-defined green eyes.  A light dusting of freckles graces her cheek bones and spreads across the bridge of her petite nose.  These have become darker since she began travelling and spent more time in the open air, and Laoise hates them as to her they are a mark of her enforced wandering and new relative lack of wealth. 

Laoise is slightly shorter than average Helcrani woman, but still perfectly in proportion.  Her figure is a little more petite than normal, with a naturally small frame mainly obvious in the width of her shoulders and hips.  It also gives her a little waist and small, delicate hands.  Soft, pale skin covers a thin layer of fat and her muscles are only visible in certain places where the fat is naturally thinner such as her back and neck.  She holds her head high with an air of control, and her eyes look where they want to, not often dropped from a stare.

Clothing
Even when dressed in her most practical clothes, it is quite obvious that Laiose is wealthier than the average traveller.  Aside from the well-bred Hound who accompanies the woman, her thick dark green fur-lined cloak is obviously rather well made. She often wears a couple of pieces of jewellery as well.  Soft leather boots have been decorated with an impractical design of swirling bone beads, although many of these are now missing and the leather itself is rather stained.  She also wears leather trousers, a few shades lighter in colour, which are only just loose enough to allow her to sit down. These tuck comfortably into the flexible footwear, preventing them from becoming wet or muddy as she walks.  The last two items from her travelling wardrobe are two plain white shirts, slightly looser than her trousers but still showing off a little of her figure.

For when she is neither travelling nor dressing to impress, Laoise has two plain sleeveless dresses; one white and one a deep, rich, blood red.  When its cold, she can wear one of her shirts underneath, but normally she prefers to show off her slim, shapely arms to their best advantage.  To this end a couple of bracelets can often be found jangling on her wrist as well.

Laoise still possesses a wonderful leaf green dress of Shendar silk which she bought for a ball to celebrate passing her level 3 exams.  It is embroidered with large oak-leaf patterns in a lighter green thread, reaching right down to the floor in a full, flattering skirt.  The garment is completely strapless, held on instead by the tight bodice which is laced at the back.  This also helps to define the curve of her waist and hips.  The woman owns a pair of matching silk slippers as well, totally impractical but lovingly hoarded as a reminder of a better time.

Personality
To the casual observer Laoise appears a confident, well-spoken woman, and she certainly tries hard to give this impression.  Her sociable, gossiping conversation is light and easy, but avoids giving out too many details about her own background. She enjoys the distraction of flirting outrageously when it suits her, and often finds herself attracted to many of the men she talks to.  The woman finds the attention flattering as much as anything else.

However, Laoise suffers from a nagging and unstoppable mixture of fear and guilt.  The guilt is due to having poisoned her husband and taken his money as her own. The fear is fear of his familys retribution. The most obvious effect of this is her terror of telling others her real name, or even the same fake name.  She reasons that if one constantly uses a certain name then it becomes what one is called and therefore is ones name.  So you might just as well have used a real name in the first place.  Hence she constantly makes up new names and tells a different one to almost every person she meets. 

This in turn makes it rather hard to hold long-lasting relationships, as people become suspicious once they hear her use a different name with someone else.  Other things she prefers to keep quiet are her magical skills, as these mark her out as unusual, as well as her wealthy background, although this is often obvious from the way she talks and acts.

Lying comes easily to Laoise, and is often a fun challenge for her nimble mind; practiced at navigating the complicated pathways of magical study.  She avoids telling the truth when it suits her and can do so without a blink or a flicker of guilt, aided by her somewhat uncaring attitude.  In fact it is not so much that she doesn't care about other people's feelings, more than she holds her own rather higher in importance.  She will always think about how something will effect her personally before considering how it will help anyone else.

Laoise will always avoid a physical fight if she can, although she relishes a verbal one, and will generally only defend others for a very good reason.  Her magic gives her enough confidence to travel alone; allowing her to ward off the average mugger, but she has never had to test it in a real fight before.  The young woman is all too aware of her inability to use weapons as well as her soft ripable flesh.

Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths

~ Magic ~ As a level 3 fire mage, Laoise has access to a range of useful tricks.  She enjoys manipulating the ways of the heart most of all, but can also light fires, cause changes in temperature or brightness, and effect other emotions accosiated with passion too.

~ Apparent Confidence ~ Exuding a fake air of confidence, the mage appears happy and relaxed in most situations.

~ Beauty ~ Useful for getting ones drinks bought for you, Laoise is endowed with naturally pleasing features.  When given the time she knows how to enhance these to their best advantage with careful application of paints and dyes as well as the most flattering dress.

~ Reading and writing ~ Laoise has the fine, scripted hand of a well-educated young lady, and can read easily and swiftly as well.  Not only does this provide some good money-earning opportunities, but also access to information not available to everyone.

~ Dog ~ Though now rather old and unable to move as quick as she once could, Lola still has the bark if not the bite.  The Zeiphyrian Hound is extremely well trained and will obey Laoise loyally to the best of its ability, making a decent guard dog and a good pet, although no longer an effective hunter.

~Sewing ~ Laoise has learnt some needlework, enough to be able to reattach a loose button or repair a torn garment.

Weaknesses
~ Paranoia ~ Laoise is extremely frightened of being caught and punished for poisoning her husband, and has been afraid of this so long that it has turned into something of a paranoia.  The mere mention of the word poison and often husband too, will send a noticeable shiver down her spine.  Dwelling too much on the topic can send her into fits of fear and guilt where she is unable to speak or think coherently until she calms herself down.  However, the fear normally rests irritatingly at the back of her mind, always there but not affecting her very much until the subject is brought up. The only constant effect of this is her inability to stick to one name (see personality).

~ Selfish ~ In Laoises eyes, the world revolves mainly around her.   This isnt to say that she doesnt value other peoples thoughts or feelings, she just normally finds her own far more important.  As people get to know her better they discover this side of her and she tends to loose their friendship.

~ Vanity ~ As well as being another personality trait which people may not like, this causes Laoise to spend more than she should on devices to enhance her beauty, such as pretty clothes, jewellery or paints.  As she normally has to hide these to prevent herself becoming the target of a lucky thief, they really are an unnecessary luxury and use up money which could be spent on better food or a warmer room for the night.  It also fuels her paranoia of being found out as she is aware that she is failing miserably in her attempt to come across as a commoner.

~ Physically Weak ~ As she has never had to do any kind of manual work, Laoises muscles are rather stringy and weak, making her useless for heavy physical tasks and limiting the amount she can carry.  The woman also has little endurance for anything more than walking, and quickly runs out of breath if exerted.

Magic
As a level 3 fire mage, Laoise has a good grasp of how to increase and decrease the different effects of fire ouni within a specified object.  On a good day she is able to influence the property of her choice with skill and precision; for example choosing how hot to make her target without directly influencing the amount of light it admits, or making a lantern shine brighter without causing it to burn her fingers.  She can cause flammable objects to erupt into flame too, and often prefers this to fiddling around with her tinder box.

As an irresponsible young woman first learning magic, Laoise enjoyed mischievously toying with matters of the heart, and is still quite adept at influencing someones more passionate desires.  Although she employs this trick less now she is older and not as much of a prankster, it is still useful if a man seems overly friendly or, on the other hand, if she wishes to get someone to pay her more attention.  However, she can only effect a targets lust, not their actual decision.

The woman has also learnt how to influence the property of courage, causing someone to suddenly gain confidence in their abilities or be assured of their own failure.  Due to a lack of interest on her part, she has not used this much except as an aid to her love doctoring, but she is still quite capable of using the skill if she needs to.

Having begun her training towards fourth level, Laoise has started to study the theories of Sphere II.  With a long, uninterrupted period of concentration, she is able to recreate a weak version of a level 4 spell, but the length of time needed to have any effect on her target makes them all but useless.  The only spell which can be effective is Burning Regeneration, but it takes over ten minutes of utter quiet and mental strain to achieve any perceptible result.

Laoise tries to avoid fighting if at all possible, but when things do turn nasty her magic is her only means of defence.  Brightening a lantern so much that it hurts an attackers eyes is one possibility, as is setting some part of their clothing alight.  She could heat the handle of a weapon to the point where it has to be dropped too, giving her a chance of escaping.

History
Laoise birth was a miracle and a joy to her two parents, who had long believed that their son, born ten years before, would be their only child.  Her mother especially was delighted to have a girl to raise and teach. Due to their relative wealth from her husbands horse breeding business, the lady would buy her child numerous pretty clothes and pieces of jewellery.  The family business not only provided them with money, but a good reputation as well, as they ran the farm and owned the land rather than doing the manual work themselves.  They had owned land and employed lots of labourers for generations. This coupled with the fathers easy good manners and his wifes fine taste in fabrics, gave them a good, reliable status in the towns society.

As Laoise grew into a pretty young girl she inherited her mothers obsession with appearance; enjoying nothing more than making her little ringlets sit properly around her face, or choosing just the right shade of magenta Shendar Silk.  Her childhood was a happy but spoilt one with a few well-timed tears she was able to persuade her parents to give her almost anything.  In fact she was rather an obnoxious child and never really got on with her older, almost grown up brother who was the only one to refuse to grant her wishes.  He spent more and more time with their father, learning how to run the family business, whilst their mother enjoyed doting on Laoise.

In Laoises 13th year, her father sadly passed away.  He had been drinking in a local tavern one night, drank too much and passed out on the way to the lavatory.  Unfortunately the tavern backed onto a river with no fence or boundary, and the man fell unwittingly into the water and drowned.  Self-centred as usual, Laoise showed more remorse than she actually felt, though there was definitely something tragic about having to wear black for so long.  Her brother took the news far worse, as he had been far closer to her father.  The troubled young man constantly blamed himself for leaving the tavern instead of making sure his parent got  home.  It also turned out that the two of them had not only been running the family business, but spending its income too (and rather more effectively than the ladies).  A fair portion of their wealth was tied up in various gambling debts, and of course as soon as the debtor died, people began to ask for the money. 

Laoises life changed dramatically, and she really didnt like it.  Her brother, the new head of the business, now controlled the money and would not allow her or their mother buy new clothes or accessories; arguing rather forcefully that they already had plenty.  He even insisted they sell several of the most exquisite dresses to pay some of the debts, and nothing could persuade him otherwise, even when the spoilt girl refused to eat for two days in protest.  Her mother reacted badly to the news too, worried about the scandal getting out as well as her own future.  The woman was only really her old self when out with friends, protecting their good name.

However her brother became worse, unable to stop drinking or gambling himself.  Without their fathers practiced guidance the business began to go downhill too, although the need to pay back so much debt was definitely a severe disadvantage for the younger man.  His mother was unable to help him, as he now saw himself as the head of the household, and took no notice of the woman who had never felt the need to be strict with either of them before.  Laoise watched as both her guardians seemed to get gradually weirder and weirder; her brother gambling more and more frequently whilst her mother concocted plan after plan for regaining their wealth.  In fact it was one of these plans which caused the next drastic change in the young girls life.

A couple of months before her 16th birthday (and far earlier than she had been expecting it) Laoise met her future husband.  Of course she did not know this at first, but something about the way her mother introduced him as well as the way the man looked at her - as if he was eying up a horse for sale - gave her a few hints.   The man was a rather wealthy smith, making beautifully crafted ceremonial swords.  However as he made the swords himself, he was not as well respected as her own family, so he was very much interested in taking the young, beautiful girl as a wife.  Laoises mother was interested in one thing.  Money.

Although the young girl did not encourage the man herself at first, neither did she discourage his advances.  She missed the security she had been used to, and her mother assured her that this man could provide it.  Also, although the man was almost twice her age, she couldnt deny that he was still rather good looking; strong and well built with tanned, slightly rough skin and dark rather thickly lashed eyes.  Flattering and well dressed, he soon won her young heart, and she believed herself in love with him.  They were married within the year.

Married life was not quite as Laoise had expected it to be.  Her husband seemed rather protective of her, and got annoyed when she left the house without telling him, or went to a public place alone.  Used to taking no notice of her guardians, the girl refused to do as he wished, going out more just to spite the man.  Arguments became a common occurrence in the unhappy household; the love having long since fled.  The fights never turned physical, instead the sly man began to hold back money from her, refusing to allow her anything unless she behaved as he wished.  Fuming but temporarily defeated, Laoise stayed around the house. She spent her days brooding unhappily and avoiding her husband as much as possible in an older version of her childhood sulks.  The only person she visited regularly was her mother, as this was deemed respectable enough by her husband.  They spent many long hours complaining about her current situation.

Her mother meanwhile was still extremely worried about her own future.  With her son spending the family money faster than the failing business could make it, she was looking at the prospect of having nothing to live on in her old age.  Every day the fear grew a little more, and the solution she managed to concoct was a testament to her failing sanity.  About a year into Laoises married life, the young girl came to her mother in an unusually fierce rage over an essential new dress her thrifty husband wouldnt let her buy.  The older lady surprised her daughter, first by grinning in a slightly maniacal way and then by running off to fetch something, despite the lingering presence of a few household staff.

 After a full quarter of an hour (in which the young girl waited rather impatiently) her mother returned holding a tiny crystal bottle filled almost to the top with a dark greenish-brown liquid.  As the desperate lady explained the use of the poison in a low, fevered tone, Laoise felt both her surprise and her curiosity grow.  The young and selfish woman had not really thought about her mothers future, possibly the only person she really cared for.  The frustration of her own life made the little bottle tempting too - especially the realisation that she had 50 more years of living it.  Almost a minute passed until she actually thought about what would happen if she poisoned her husband.  A life with him was better than actually getting executed for the crime! Laoise challenged her mother with this possibility, accusing the woman of wanting her dead too and all their wealth for herself.  More explanation came quickly; the older woman telling her how this poison would not kill straight away, but if given in small doses would simply make the victim sicker and sicker until he died inexplicably.  Tucking the bottle thoughtfully into the inner pocket of her cloak, Laoise went home, tempted, but not convinced.

However the little crystal bottle, now stowed safely in a drawer among her undergarments, became a constant anchor for her thoughts.  Every time her husband told her off, or refused to let her do something, her mind wandered back to the poison and the temptation grew.  It only took one more massive row (which he won again) to begin her use of it.  In a fit of hate and rage the young woman took the liquid and tipped a couple of drops into his bedtime Lythe-Ale, before taking it to him in a well-faked gesture of apology.  The power in those few little drops was almost addictive to her, and the thought that she was finally in control made her continue to drop a little in every night.  The man slowly became ill, at first seeming to simply have caught a cough, then gradually getting worse and worse, breathing heavier and producing large amounts of phlegm.  The healer came and prescribed him several drugs to help, and for a while he got better.  At least until Laoise and him argued once more and she increased the dose.

Two months after she had begun, Laoises husband died of an unknown lung disease - or at least unknown to the healer.  Without an heir, Laoise inherited all of her husbands money and moved back to her parents house, selling her husband's rather than staying there.  Something about the place made her feel wrong, different, as if the house disapproved of her and her short stay.  Even the furniture gave her a strange feeling, so she sold that with the house as well.  Laoise suddenly became an independent and wealthy young lady, and the main financial support for her family.  This was really the downside; for the first time she had her own money to spend as she wished, and yet her family were spending it for her?  Although she grudgingly enjoyed going shopping with her mother again, the way her brother squandered it was downright impolite.

Laoise became restless and irritated; unsatisfied by her daily activities.  She blamed this on the money situation and her frustration of being seemingly back where she started, but that was not the only thing which bothered her.  Her husbands coughing haunted her dreams more and more.  Whenever anyone else made the same sound, the young woman had a horrible pang of guilt and fear.  What if someone found out?  What would happen to her?  She began to avoid anyone with a connection to the law as well, as their discussions about their work made her jumpy.  Her paranoia grew steadily, spreading to topics about criminals, Lythe-Ale, or even husbands in general.  Laoise irrationally blamed her mother, who would have been her only source to confide in.  She pushed the guilt onto the older woman, attempting to convince herself that the idea had been forced upon her, that shed only gone through with it for her mothers sake.  Once again she began to hate the people who surrounded her and longed for some way to escape.

Barely a year after her husband died, Laoise found her way out.  An old friend got in contact once more, inviting her to a wedding of all things.  However, what was so intriguing was that this girl had moved away years before to the city of Ximax to become a mage.  At the time Laoise had been shocked and mildly horrified, as magic was not very well thought of among her people, but now the idea seemed perfect.  Ximax was far enough away to be far away, yet close enough to be within travelling distance and to feel not too foreign.  Also, the main qualification for entry was being able to pay the fees, which Laoise was.

The young woman settled into the academy quickly and happily.  The long studying and difficult theories tired her out, giving her far less time to dwell on her guilt.  She gradually became the sociable young lady of her youth; sociable but manipulative.  Her friends were few but very close, and their favourite pass times usually revolved around the opposite sex.  Using not only her own self-enhanced charms, but also a sly bit of magic, Laoise loved her popularity.  However something pulled her back from becoming too close to one man, and she preferred to break hearts rather than treasure them.

Unfortunately (or possibly fortunately for the male Ximax population), these happy days could not last forever.  Most of the mages of her own age had been studying for far longer than her and as they became more powerful they either graduated or grew up.  Forced by their decisions to do the same, Laoise matured slowly - still enjoying her games but not revelling in them so openly.  Her own studies became her main way of escaping from her guilt and the years passed with only a little of her paranoia breaking through her restraints.  To most she was the model student; she seemed to have a passion for her work - almost a need for it.

It was about this time that she bought herself a Zeiphyrian Hound.  Another impulsive decision, the bitch was bought off a father of one of the other mages, having been the noblemans hunting dog until she got too old.  Laoise gave the well-behaved Lola a home, thinking she would make a good guard dog and companion, and slowly became attached to the loyal, obedient beast.

Disaster struck just a year after passing her level 3 exam.  Not knowing what else to do, and not wishing to do anything else, Laoise had chosen to stay on after gaining level 3, studying to become even more powerful.  However, it was not to be.  Back in the home she thought she had sold and left behind, a small child had wandered into an empty room and took a crystal bottle from one of the draws.  Tasting the strange, dark greenish-brown liquid inside, he was quickly taken ill with an unusual coughing fit.  The healer was called immediately, the same healer who had tended Laoises husband more than ten years before.  Unfortunately for Laoise he remembered and passed on his suspicions.  A relative of the husband quickly sent some men to fetch the guilty widow from Ximax.

However, Laoise was no longer as defenceless as before and their assumption that the well-bred woman would come quietly was dead wrong.  As soon as she realised what was happening the panic began to grow inside her, and she held it there, quietly, until the right moment.  As two of the men who had come to arrest her stood outside her bedroom door, allowing her to pack some things to take with her, she picked up one of the oil lamps on the table. Throwing the contents at the doorway, she magically set oil and doorframe alight.  The fire prevented them from coming in to get her, and Laoise quickly shouldered her packed bag, sitting on the windowsill before lowering herself down carefully as far as she could, then jumping the last stretch.  Lola jumped down too, her four legs making the distance much easier.  They ran together, before the guards got themselves organised, and took a carriage towards the Bay of the Sky and then a boat south.

Since then the two of them have travelled together, only pausing long enough for Laoise to earn a bit of money.  Laoises paranoia grew once more, as did her handwriting skills, but she is older now and can control it better.  One way of keeping it in check is never to tell anyone her real name, or even the same name, thus making sure that no-one can recognise her or refer to her by more than her appearance.

Belongings
A large, leather, one-shoulder bag
One trouser and shirt outfit for travelling
A spare shirt
Two plain dresses of different colours
One dress of leaf green Shendar Silk
A pair of slik slippers to match
A water bottle
A bag of magical regents
A well made cloak in dark green wool.
A pair of long, drooping earrings, silver with an amber insert
Two necklaces of semi-precious stones (one matching the earrings, the other of dark green beads)
Three bracelets, one jet and two the same green as her necklace.
One tinderbox with kindling

Familiar
A pure white Zeiphyrian bitch named Lola accompanies Laoise on her travels.  The animal is over twelve years old and no longer an efficient hunter, but she still has a threatening enough growl to discourage unwanted strangers.  Lola is exceptionally well behaved and obedient, having been well trained by her breeder.  Laoise bought her from her old owner when the bitch turned ten and was considered too old to hunt any more.
« Last Edit: December 01, 2007, 02:15:24 AM by Kalna Mrnwn » Logged

Twn Arerwn
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« Reply #1 on: November 24, 2007, 05:14:17 AM »

Is this finished and ready for comments? If it is, please place the proper posticon for comments. If not then just ignore me  :)
« Last Edit: November 24, 2007, 05:15:11 AM by Twn Arerwn » Logged

The spell fell upon the crowd like a dragon,
ancient and full of death.
Laoise Tyrani
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« Reply #2 on: November 24, 2007, 07:40:29 AM »

The history, personality and appearence sections are not finished yet, the rest is pretty much complete apart from rephrasing and spell checking etc, so comments are welcome on those  :)
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Chuhan Car amn
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« Reply #3 on: November 25, 2007, 03:40:33 AM »

Comments in orange

As a level 3 fire mage, Laoise has a good grasp of how to increase and decrease the different effectsthe term "influence" is what is commonly used to describe what you say above of fire ouni within a specified object.  On a good day she is able to choose which property she will change and also the extent to which she will change it; for example choosing how hot to make her target without directly influencing the amount of light it admits, or making a lantern shine brighter without causing it to burn her fingersHow a specific property is isolated hasn't been decided yet, but by Level 3, you should have mastery of Sphere I and this should no longer be a problem for most spells.  Perhaps limiting this to more complicated applications?  She can cause flammable objects to erupt into flame too, and often prefers this to fiddling around with her tinder box.

As an irresponsible young woman first learning magic, Laoise enjoyed mischievously toying with matters of the heart, and is still quite adept at influencing someones more passionate desires.  Although she employs this trick less now she is older and not as much of a prankster, it is still useful if a man seems overly friendly or, on the other hand, if she wishes to get someone to pay her more attention.  However, she can only effect a targets lust, not their actual decision. Yup yup. All good here

The woman has also learnt how to influence the properties of courage and physical regeneration, which causes the body to heal fasterFirst bit is ok, but the second part doesn't.  That would require at least Shpere II as seen in Burning regeneration and is therefore not accesible at your level.  Due to a lack of interest on her part, these skills are somewhat weaker than the others, especially the regeneration.  She needs a period of completely uninterrupted concentration to make a noticeable effect. This is possible, but not for the reasons that you explain.  Drawing out the specific attribute of courage and manipulating it is no different than doing the same for Passion as you mention above, therefore your skill level with both should be relatively equal.  Influencing multiple properties at one time, especially if you are increasing the influence of one and decreasing that of another, would be a more plausible reason for your last sentence IMHO as they are complex applications of Sphere I.

Laoise tries to avoid fighting if at all possible, but when things do turn nasty her magic is her only means of defence.  Brightening a lantern so much that it hurts an attackers eyes is one possibility, as is setting some part of their clothing alight.  She could heat the handle of a weapon to the point where it has to be dropped too, giving her a chance of escaping.  These are all good.

Just as a few parting words to remember while RPing, as your mage has completed Sphere I training, spells level 2 or below, or unlisted applications of Shpere I techniques that you develop while RPing should be easy for your mage.  However, Level 3 or complex applications of Sphere I not deved as a spell would most likely require the use of regents and should take a relatively large amount of concentration and time to cast


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Laoise Tyrani
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« Reply #4 on: November 25, 2007, 04:05:47 AM »

How a specific property is isolated hasn't been decided yet, but by Level 3, you should have mastery of Sphere I and this should no longer be a problem for most spells.  Perhaps limiting this to more complicated applications?

Do you mean I shouldnt say On a good day?  The thing is, she can have fits of paranoia/hysteria (see weaknesses) which could make her loose concentration all together and therefore have difficulty doing even a simple spell.  Well, that was my thought anyway.  Also, Im unclear as to when things are more complicated.  The way I have it in my mind (which is probably wrong), she is always doing the same action influencing one property to make it stronger/weaker and influencing the others to make them weaker/stronger.

This is possible, but not for the reasons that you explain.  Drawing out the specific attribute of courage and manipulating it is no different than doing the same for Passion as you mention above, therefore your skill level with both should be relatively equal.  Influencing multiple properties at one time, especially if you are increasing the influence of one and decreasing that of another, would be a more plausible reason for your last sentence IMHO as they are complex applications of Sphere I.

When is she influencing multiple properties at a time?

All the rest will be changed asap ;)

Edit: All understoood, now I just need to change stuff.
« Last Edit: November 25, 2007, 04:29:09 AM by Laoise Tyrani » Logged

Twn Arerwn
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« Reply #5 on: November 25, 2007, 04:46:21 AM »

Laoise, I would beg to differ with Chuhan. Your ability to cast the spell Burning Regeneration is not completely impossible. With the clear statement you make of it being a difficult task for her to accomplish. Is a showing of your characters beginning to understand the base applications of Sphere II. I do not see this as a problem, since it is apparent you understand the basics of Santharian magic. Really, applying that idea to your CD is more accurate than drawing a solid line in your characters learning curve.
~Sincerely~
Co cr'tuulens:Twen Araerwen
« Last Edit: November 25, 2007, 04:47:02 AM by Twn Arerwn » Logged

The spell fell upon the crowd like a dragon,
ancient and full of death.
Laoise Tyrani
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Human, Helcrani


« Reply #6 on: November 25, 2007, 05:12:11 AM »

To be honest, I hadn't realised it was Sphere II as I didn't read the spell entry itself and thus didn't know that the mage had to give some of their own ounia to the target.  But I would quite like to have it on a basic level, so yay!  I will pop it back in, but making it nice and clear that this is something she struggles with and needs a lot of time for, then see if its ok :)
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Chuhan Car amn
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« Reply #7 on: November 25, 2007, 05:28:11 AM »

Twen, while I do not oppose her being allowed to be a higher level, I feel if she wishes to have Sphere II training, she needs to be level 4
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Twn Arerwn
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« Reply #8 on: November 25, 2007, 05:46:17 AM »

A mage that graduates lvl 3 would have base ideas for the lvl of teaching they are progressing towards. Since Laoise seems to be above the norm for new mage characters, I don't see the necessity for her to be 4th yet. Not that I would be apposed to such an idea, I do not see it as a requirement. Simple example: Classes of today often teach the very basics of what is to come in the following year.
~Sincerely~
Co cr'tuulens:Twen Araerwen

Edit: There are more than a few mages created in the past, by experienced players. That were permitted to delve lightly into higher level incantations. I see Laoise as one of these unique exceptions.
« Last Edit: November 25, 2007, 05:52:40 AM by Twn Arerwn » Logged

The spell fell upon the crowd like a dragon,
ancient and full of death.
Laoise Tyrani
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« Reply #9 on: November 25, 2007, 06:43:11 AM »

Thankyou both so much for your confidence   Shocked blush  Unfortunatly (or possibly fortunatly) I'm not sure Laoise will have enough time to actually study any more, as she is starting training quite late at 18 (after a disaterous marriage) and she is already as old as I want to make her.  Adding another 4 years of training would mean having to change bits of her character which are more important than having more power  ;)

Only thing I could think of would be to have her study towards her Level 4 for a year before she has to leave (people are going to realise that she poisoned her husband, so shes going to be running away from them = sudden departure), thus giving her a very basic understanding and a few weak spells.  But if its too complicated/fussy I can always take the physical regeneration out, it is not an essential part of her character, just a useful skill. :)

Edit: Unless she actually got married 4 years earlier.  At 12 buck
« Last Edit: November 27, 2007, 01:23:35 AM by Laoise Tyrani » Logged

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« Reply #10 on: November 27, 2007, 05:45:43 AM »

Really Laoise, there is no need to alter her age to accomplish what you wish. It should be understood by any developer of magic, that definitive lines in learning is an inappropriate view. Just keep going as you are and everything is fine.  ;)
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The spell fell upon the crowd like a dragon,
ancient and full of death.
Laoise Tyrani
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« Reply #11 on: November 27, 2007, 05:59:36 AM »

Yes Miss Twen *salutes*  LOL

Nearly nearly done, just a bit of personality and magic/history tweaking to go.  Plus title, for which I'm a little stuck *sigh*  any thoughts anyone?

Edit:  Oh my goodness its the exclamation mark!!
« Last Edit: November 27, 2007, 07:13:55 AM by Laoise Tyrani » Logged

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« Reply #12 on: November 27, 2007, 08:36:27 AM »

Aside from the well-bred Hound who accompanies the woman, her thick dark green cloak has a layer of grey fur inside the hood and is obviously rather well made, and she often still wears a couple of pieces of jewellery<--jewelry. Run-on sentence that could be broken down into at least two.

Laoise still possesses a wonderful leaf green dress of Shendar silk which she bought for her graduation from the Ximax academy. Graduation from Ximax is considered the 6th lvl of learning, since your character is 3rd lvl this has not come to be, yet.

She enjoys the distraction of flirting outrageously when it suits her, and often finds herself attracted to many of the men she talks to, flattered by their attention as much as anything else. Run-on sentence that could be broken down into at least two.

In fact it is not so much that she doesn't care about other people's feelings, more than she holds her own rather higher in importance, and will always think about how something will effect her personally before considering how it will help anyone else. Run-on sentence that could be broken down into at least two.

However, the fear normally rests irritatingly at the back of her mind, always there but not affecting her very much until the subject is brought up, the only constant effect being her inability to stick to one name (see personality). Run-on sentence that could be broken down into at least two.

The doctor<--Doctor is a modern term, healer would most likely be a wiser choice. came and prescribed him several drugs to help, and for a while he got better, until Laoise and him argued once more and she increased the dose. Run-on sentence that could be broken down into at least two.

Barely a year after her husband died, Laoise found her way out.  An old friend got in contact once more, inviting her to a wedding of all things, but what was so intriguing was that this girl had moved away years before to the city of Ximax, become<--becoming a mage.  At the time Laoise had been shocked and mildly horrified, as magic was not very well thought of among her people, but now the idea seemed perfect.

There are a few mentions of the word "doctor" that should be altered. Also: You are the "Queen of Run-ons", just keep in mind that breaking long ideas down into their perspective sentences creates depth.

Other than these grammatical issues, you have a wonderfully written CD. I applaud you for the in-depth research you have done with this character........ Absolutely fantastic!
~Sincerely~
Co cr'tuulens:Twen Araerwen
« Last Edit: November 27, 2007, 08:38:02 AM by Twn Arerwn » Logged

The spell fell upon the crowd like a dragon,
ancient and full of death.
Chuhan Car amn
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« Reply #13 on: November 27, 2007, 10:52:16 AM »

I disagree with Twen's last statement... But before I go into, that, I'd like to reinforce the fact that I am not opposed to a change in this character's level at all, but argue solely on magical grounds.

Twen:  Don't really have time to discuss this now, nor would I want to disobey the rules and clutter Laoise's thread, but I urge you to take this up with me sometime in the IRC.  Its been a while since I've had a good magic discussion.
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Laoise Tyrani
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« Reply #14 on: November 27, 2007, 07:25:33 PM »

Aside from the well-bred Hound who accompanies the woman, her thick dark green cloak has a layer of grey fur inside the hood and is obviously rather well made, and she often still wears a couple of pieces of jewellery<--jewelry. Run-on sentence that could be broken down into at least two.
Actually jewellery is just the British spelling.

Also: You are the "Queen of Run-ons", just keep in mind that breaking long ideas down into their perspective sentences creates depth.
LOL I'll take a look at them - too many thoughts for one sentence.

Yes please guys, discuss, make decisions, agree!  ;)


Edit: Ok, I think I have found and destroyed all my run-ons, although there were a lot so I may have missed one or two :P
« Last Edit: November 28, 2007, 12:12:49 AM by Laoise Tyrani » Logged

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