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Author Topic: Dorrugh Svenstar / Half-orc / Frost Savant  (Read 11653 times)
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Dorrugh Svenstar
Frost Savant
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Half-Orc, Avennorian/ Ashz-Oc


« on: January 10, 2008, 01:35:41 PM »



Name: Dorrugh Svenstar

Race: Orcian

Age: 25

Gender: Male

Tribe: Avennorian/Ashz-Oc

Occupation: Water Mage

Title: Frost Savant

Height: 1 Ped, 2 Fores, 1 Palmspan

Weight: 1 Pygge, 5 Hebs

Overview:

Dorrugh is a carefree, adventurous free-spirit who is constantly on the move, never content to stay in one place for long. He is a drifter, adventurer and seeker of new and exciting things, people and places. Although his half breed heritage sometimes causes curiousity, wonder or even fear in others, he chooses never to take such things seriously. He is attracted to the chaos, movement and ebb and flow of life. Like the water element that Dorrugh studies and controls, he is shifting, moving and flowing wherever the winds and roads take him.

Appearance:

Dorrugh was a sickly child so as a result of his constant battle with childhood diseases, his body never developed into the strong, muscular physique apparent in his maternal orc heritage. His body is thin and wiry with lean legs and arms. His hands are large and smooth, a stark contrast to normally rough and hewn orc or whaler hands. His skin is a dusky gray with faint tinges of light colored freckles over his face, neck and back. He keeps his black hair tied up in a knot above his head allowing his slightly pointed orcish ears to be visible. His face is broad and flat with a wide nose, thin mouth and large teeth with slightly pointed incisors. His eyes are decidedly not dark colored, as orc eyes tend to be, but are colored a brilliant blue like his human father's.

Magic

Dorrugh is a level 3 water mage.

Like his father, an ever elusive and changing man, Dorrugh inherited the spirit of change and movement in his life. His very soul yearns to live life to its fullest and to never allow his weaknesses to stop him from doing what he wants to do, whatever it is. As such, Dorrugh's emotional level is one of focus and drive but also the chaos of change is ever present. As such, much as the mind of an individual is in constant change, random with thoughts and emotions, so is Dorrugh able to manipulate the mental chaos of another. As well, he enjoys manipulating the aspects of the water element and has focused on the colder aspects of control and uses ice, frost, snow and rain in its various forms for study and defense of himself and others.

Mastery of the Physical manipulation of water is the primary study for Dorrugh. During his studies at Ximax, he has learned to become sensitive to the water ounia in the car'all of individuals and can quickly influence the water ounia in an opponent. Although he tends to shy away from violence, he still possesses the temper of his orcish heritage and he doesn't hesitate to use his powers against a threatening opponent.

Dorrugh uses the power of cold to render helpless an opponent. The Ice Touch spell is a typical attack he might use against an opponent. Dorrugh will take his opponent's arm, shoulder or even head and begin to freeze the water ounia sending anything from a slight shill to a bone shattering cold through his opponent's body. Although Dorrugh has never killed anyone using this spell, he does know that it is not beyond his power to do so.

The Breath of Ice spell is another worthy offensive spell he uses when closer to opponent. By freezing the air he blows from his mouth, he can cause painful frost burn upon an opponent. This is usually enough to disarm someone who might want to choke him or handle him in some way. When blown in an opponent's face, the Breath of Ice causes the skin to become blue with chill and blinds the eyes. The opponent's skin will thaw quickly, but it is enough for Dorrugh to either flee or employ another attack. He can also use this spell on objects to freeze them and render them brittle and susceptible to breakage such as doors and locks.

Whenever possible, Dorrugh employs ranged spell attacks so as to not become entangled in a physical melee that could harm him. Whether indoors or out, Dorrugh can manipulate the water ounia in the air to freeze into sharp shards of ice of varying sizes and drop them upon an opponent. The shards cause welts, bruises and cuts upon an opponent and that usually is enough to stop an attack. The ice shards are not thrown, but fall naturally from up high.

Not only can Dorrugh cause ice to fall from above an opponent, but he can also form a ball of ice or an ice dart and use it as a throwing weapon. Dorrugh can form several such small ice darts and toss them at opponents or objects using his own throwing power. Dorrugh is not a particularly strong man, but his throws are usually powerful enough to leave deep bruises on unprotected skin.

The Area of Frost works well against groups of opponents.  By dramatically lowering the temperature within an area, he can slow his attackers down and escape. He will then flee or cause ice shards to fall upon the attackers. Area of Frost is also used to freeze the surface of wherever his opponents are standing causing them to lose their balance and slip and fall.

Frost Shield is a particularly effective defense for Dorrugh. He can freeze the surrounding water ounia in the air and form a solid wall of ice to deflect arrows, or slow the advance of attackers. Creating bridges using this spell is also used to cross small expanses.

A method of attack that does not involve ice is the use of normal water. If around a source of water, such as a river, lake, well or even a large puddle, Dorrugh takes control of the water ounia and shoot short streams of water at an opponent with a powerful force that can cause the opponent to be knocked back and fall. The spell does not cause any permanent damage, but enough to cause a distraction. The amount of water he can shoot at any time is small, perhaps equivalent to fill a waterskin.

Dorrugh has always been sensitive to an individual's state of mind and is skillful at "reading" a person's emotional state and body language (although not at reading thoughts). Dorrugh can sense the chaos and can manipulate the ounia within to disrupt the mind of a person using the Distract spell. By distracting the opponent, he can cause momentary feelings of forgetfulness or random thoughts and allow Dorrugh to flee or use another spell. He employs this spell more frequently so as to not engage in a violent situation.

In a similar way, Dorrugh can manipulate the Spiritual aspects of water ounia in a person and give them feelings of calm and relaxation using the Calm spell. By using the Calm spell, Dorrugh can enable images of beauty or of nightmare within a person. The emotional and mental state he can sense is like a sixth sense, a "gut feeling" that is usually correct. With his own mind, he can reach out and manipulate the ounia and direct it according to his will.

The limitations of such a direct control of Spiritual representations of water are not lost on Dorrugh. Those individuals who's mental focus and clarity is high and sharp, such as other high level mages, cannot be easily disrupted by Dorrugh. Secondly, Dorrugh's mind is also in constant motion and he finds himself unable to control another person's emotions for long.

Dorrugh is an ever changing person and like the water he flows this way and that way, never sitting still for long. He uses water to manipulate the spirit while also mounting a powerful defense. In short, his magic represents the fears and wishes of his heritage - acceptance (Spiritual) and if that fails, defense of oneself (physical and Spiritual).

Personality:

Dorrugh is a free spirit and cares little for material things, has no political motivations and despises religion in all its forms. He tends to be selfish and only trusting of himself. Like his father, he is a seeker of adventure and new and exciting people, place and things. He has a casual outlook on life and never takes things seriously. In his view, problems can be overcome and difficulties adapted to as easily as water flows around a rock in a stream.

He has an insatiable curiousity and yearns to learn all he can of the world and its problems. His father's stories of adventure on the high seas as a whaler and water mage enthralled him as a child and he was never happy except when he was accompanying his father on some of his many quests to obtain trinkets and odd junk for his collection.

Aspects of his orcish side proved valuable as well to Dorrugh as well. From what he was told from his father, Dorrugh's mother was a gentle person and had an aversion to violence and war. She had a servant's heart and worked tirelessly to help provide for her clan. In any other society, Dorrugh's mother would have been a sought after artist as her talent at creating finely decorated pottery were impressive. Dorrugh shared similar aspects of his mother's personality in that he detested violence (although wasn't averse to violence if need be to defend himself and others) and was a hard worker. However, his talent in the arts is minimal and he could never find the patience to sit and paint a clay pot.

The few challenges of his dual heritage that Dorrugh faces are large ones and his father always suspected that they could be a hindrance to Dorrugh as he grew into adulthood. While Dorrugh would do as he was ordered outwardly, he would inwardly detest authority figures, especially those who he viewed as "soft". Dorrugh respects a hard-line, possibly as a sub-conscious way to reign him in. His father was never a consistent person in his discipline and so Dorrugh never learned such a thing as consistent methods and good habits until he grew older in the mage academy.

Dorrugh is also very much aware of his half-breed bloodline and he has little tolerance of those who cannot or will not understand his heritage. He is drawn to outcasts and those who are different as he is. Haughty, wealthy pure-blood humans get no respect from Dorrugh. He has no patience for beggars, criminals or those of a "weaker" caste - those who live off of other people's hard work. His father never trusted the elven race and as such Dorrugh grew up distrusting elves as well, although he can never truly explain why. He despises all religion and views the "gods" as unknown and uncaring of reality. As such, priests and clerics don't get respect from Dorrugh. The only belief he holds strongly enough to die for is his talent and art with magic.

History:

Hrof Svenstar was never one to sit still when adventure came calling. As the only mage in his long family line of whalers and shipbuilders, Hrof was a sort of an outcast in his family from his early years. He shunned the shackles of a normal, hardworking lifestyle and forged his own way in search of excitement and thrill. He had the financial means to do what he wanted because his recently deceased grandfather had left him with a substantial amount of money as a fund. Being his grandfather's favorite, and more than willing to see his grandson forge his own way in life, this fund was unusable by anyone but Hrof.

Hrof was a young man, having recently left the magic academy as a learned level 3 water mage. His many friends of less than stellar repute informed him of a rumor that a ship laden with gold had recently been ship-wrecked off of the northern coast and waited to be plundered. Although his family was already wealthy from decades in the whaling business, Hrof decided that this was a good way to test his skills as a mage and to make a name for himself. In reality, the rumor was fabricated by his own family who only wanted to be rid of the troublesome free-spirit for awhile.

Hrof embarked on a mission to the north. He knew full well of the dangers of the barbarian tribes and orc encampments that cluttered the north but he was undaunted. His personal wealth enabled him to charter a ship and guide to a Kuglimz village. Of course, no one in the village had ever heard of a sunken ship but Hrof was undeterred. He hired more guides and set off to the coast.

Along the way, the party became stranded in a heavy blizzard. His Kuglimz guides abandoned Hrof to the elements leaving the mage alone and lost in the wilderness. His skills in water magic allowed him to survive the cold, but couldn't get him any food. He wandered for several hours until he heard sounds of distress coming from over a nearby hill.

Upon investigation, Hrof saw an orc woman being terrorized by two larger orc males. Hrof would have slipped quietly away to leave the three to work out their differences when he stumbled down an embankment alerting the orc men. They rushed to attack and Hrof mounted his only defense - his magic. After subduing the attackers, Hrof looked after the woman. She was smaller than what Hrof had read about orcs. She was badly beaten and could see that her attackers had forced themselves upon her. She also had several deep stab wounds in her legs and abdomen.

The orc woman, named Norba, was strong enough to lead them to her village where Hrof received a cold reception. The orc woman he saved was the daughter of a warlord and the woman told her father how the human saved her. Her attackers were from a rival family and had been working to push out her clan for many years.

Despite the negative pressure of having a human around, the warlord couldn't let anything bad happen to the human that saved his daughter and he allowed him to stay in his house until the blizzard passed. Not being a very capable leader and his old age cursed him with bouts of senility, the warlord was unusual in that he allowed a human to stay with his family for a time. Lacking sufficient leadership to organize his own orc family into positions of power and leadership, he saw it as a boon for this powerful human mage to grace his doorstep. Grateful at having a warm place to stay among the merciful orcs, Hrof accepted. The warlord also was aware of the power of the human mage and found it worth it to keep him around as a possible ally against his rivals.

His sense of adventure never left him and Hrof actually found it exciting to live among what he viewed as a "savage orc tribe" but in reality, he came to know the orcs as decent, honorable people. He found a kindred spirit in the girl he saved and secretly entered into an intimate affair with her without the knowledge of her father or family.

When Norba was discovered to be with child, she blamed the pregnancy on one the rivals that attacked her. This did not sit well with her father, who was still in danger of being overthrown, but it was better than revealing the truth that she carried a half human child. When she gave birth, she had planned to give the child to Hrof to live far away from the orcs as she knew her family was on the brink of destruction by rivals.

The birth of a half-orc caused an uproar among Norba's family and delighted the rivals who saw it as a way to further usurp them. The daughter of a warlord whoring about with a human! It was unheard of! The rival families used the moment of shock to attack and depose the warlord. Hrof knew that he would also be killed in the coup dtat so he fled with the village with his infant son with the help of some of Norba's sympathetic family members.

Hrof and his son fled back to the human cities. Unable to enroll his half-orc child in human schools, Hrof used his extensive library (and still extensive personal assets left to him by his grandfather) and his personal knowledge to instruct Dorrugh at home. Dorrugh was an introverted child, keeping to himself and able to entertain himself for long periods while his father tended to his house.

When Dorrugh was 9 years old, Hrof thought his son old enough to accompany him on some of his quests and adventures. Dorrugh found the next four years living in the foreign cities, wild countries and parleying with everyone from rogues to mages to warriors exciting and the experience opened his eyes to both other cultures and also to the fact that the world is large and open to his wandering curiosity.

When he reached the age of 13, Hrof used what little influence he still had to enroll the child in the Ximax Magic Academy where he could gain knowledge in the Art.

Dorrugh excelled in his studies and inwardly tended to be a loner but he made several friends who eventually brought him out of his aloofness. The childhood illnesses he suffered rendered his body thin and lean, and he was physically weaker than a typical human with orcish blood. He despised his lack of physical strength but made up for it in mental discipline and perseverance.

Dorrugh found a kinship in the ways of water magic. He knew himself to be both chaotic in methods yet focused in mind. He enjoyed how water can be both a destructive force and yet a giver of life. It was always changing and moving, much like his father's life and like how he preferred his own life. Dorrugh always found that water can adapt and evolve much like how his own life would be destined to become.

Strengths:

 - Can cast water magic. As a water mage, Dorrugh can cast spells that can manipulate the mind or mount a physical defense of himself and others.

 - Determined and driven. Dorrugh has an intense internal motivation that stems from his personal fears about his heritage and his need to be accepted. He drives forward ever continually, pushing himself to achieve that higher standard in his Art.

 - Patient and sympathetic. Dorrugh knows that his appearance can cause feelings of anxiousness and pity in others. He has learned to generally be patient with such folk and to not become offended by those who view him differently (with certain exceptions). This enables him to work and cooperate with other races who distrust him. He knows he must prove himself and that there is more to him than his looks.

 - Agility and stamina. Though his body is not physically as strong as he would like, Dorrugh has honed his reflexes and stamina to peak levels. He can run great distances with little fatigue thereby overcoming his once constant respiratory problems. What little weight training he did enabled his skinny body to become flexible and lean.

 - Possesses a talent at "reading" visible signs of emotion such as stress, contentment, acts of lying and other types of body language.

 - Carefree. Dorrugh doesn't let things bother him. He is casual and doesn't yearn for material things or people. His curiousity and hunger for knowledge is all he desires and cares for in life.

Weaknesses:

 - Frailty of body. Orc/human hybrid children are notorious for having ill health due to various genetic differences. Some half-orcs tend to be weaker in constitution. Dorrugh was no different and his body suffered through many childhood illnesses and he never achieved the powerful, strong body he wanted. Even in adulthood, he has to maintain a regimen of teas and herbs to keep himself from catching a debilitating cold or fever.

 - Impatience. Dorrugh makes no effort to control his impatience with people who can't see beyond their own little world. Due to his limited life span and constant fear of illness, Dorrugh always seeks adventure and excitement and rarely slows down to be cautious and patient. He would rather go, go, go than sit around planning and thinking. As a result, this head strong attitude can bring him into conflict with others.

 - Rebellion and distain for authority. His father was mostly at fault for passing down this fault. Dorrugh learned early on that authority is not always a good thing. Although he doesn't believe in an anarchist society, Dorrugh has no compuction about committing petty crimes if it enriches himself. He will barely heed the laws of the land only because he hates to be shackled by rules and regulations. The only "law" he follows is his own ever changing personal dogma and that of his magic. As a result, he has trouble following a lawful "do-gooder".
« Last Edit: April 22, 2008, 08:41:43 PM by Simonne Miller » Logged

"The ebb and flow of a chaotic mind is a wondrous thing to behold"
Twn Arerwn
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« Reply #1 on: January 11, 2008, 12:00:53 PM »

You have a very fine start with your CD Dorrugh! Yet there are a few aspects, concerning magic, that need to be addressed. In your overview you state that water is somehow related to chaos. In truth water has nearly zilch to do with chaos as most forms of motion have little or nothing to do with Water Magic.

Also: In order to make a mage character you will need a "Magic" section. You can reference my CD for a general idea of what is expected in this area. Character description link can be found in my signature.

Secondly: As your character can wield magic this should be listed under his strengths. Indeed it will most likely be the most potent of them all.

Useful Links for first time magi.
Properties Discussion
Interesting Read for beginning Magi
Cutting edge but not completely fact
Ounia - A trip into the unknown with Rayne
Cr'll, Magical Aura

I hope my comments aid you in being titled soon. If you have any questions please feel free to ask them here as there are many willing to help you. I changed the icon to the pencil while you make edits, please return it to the exclamation mark when you are finished and ready for more comments.
~Sincerely~
Co cr'tuulens:Twen Araerwen
« Last Edit: January 11, 2008, 12:02:33 PM by Twn Arerwn » Logged

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Mina
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« Reply #2 on: January 11, 2008, 01:46:32 PM »

Actually, no, Water is considered one of the 'chaotic' elements, along with Fire.  Chaos here has more to do with unpredictability and change than movement. 
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Dorrugh Svenstar
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« Reply #3 on: January 11, 2008, 05:21:11 PM »

Yes, thank you both for your replies. I was aware that a magic section was needed but was still trying to wrap my head around the magic system before I attempted to make that entry.

As my CD states, Dorrugh is a man of movement and change. He possesses the adventuring spirit of his father and is never one to sit still. He also possesses the creativity of his mother and as such has a mind that is always thinking, always processing, always imagining. His water magic reflects all of these qualities but also his fears of acceptance and defense of oneself because he knows his half-orc heritage is viewed negatively by alot of civilized people from which his father was born. He has no experience living with orcs.

I hope my overall CD and magic entry accurately reflects Dorrugh's outlook on life. I tried to fashion his magic skill based on his emotional level and experience. He manipulates his magic on who he is and where he is going.

I have implemented the recommended changes suggested by Twen and changed my entry back to comments welcome status.
« Last Edit: January 11, 2008, 05:26:24 PM by Dorrugh Svenstar » Logged

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Twn Arerwn
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« Reply #4 on: January 12, 2008, 06:41:55 AM »

Mina, I do beg to differ as the concept of "chaotic" elements is still in open discussion. But as a CD is not a place for such a debate, I will simply say, we differ on opinions. Though I would like to get with you sometime and hear your viewpoints on the idea.

Hello again Dorrugh! My comments shall be in the ever ugly color: Orange

Like his father, an ever elusive and changing man, Dorrugh inherited the spirit of change and movement in his life. His very soul yearns to live life to its fullest and to never allow his weaknesses to stop him from doing what he wants to do, whatever it is. As such, Dorrugh's emotional level is one of focus and drive but also the chaos of change is ever present. If he found a book that interested him, he would read it in its entirety within a short time. However, if he was involved in a task that bored him, he would rather quit the task never finishing it than go through with it.<-- This is more definitive of his personality than of his skill with magic. Tying it in with how these thoughts have influenced his magic and more-so what it has allowed him to accomplish would do wonders.

Dorrugh's underlying goal is to trigger change in people's attitudes and hearts. He knows full well that his dual heritage is not always accepted in many circles of society - if only for his orc side. As such, Dorrugh is drawn to the change in people's emotions and spirits. The water element enables him to enact the spiritual change in others as opposed to changing objects. Defining the limits and boundaries of what he can or can not do with magic is the goal of this section. This paragraph states the areas he enjoys but truly does little to reveal the limits.

Dorrugh was often called the "spiritual mage" for his skill at manipulating the mental and spiritual energies of other things. His studies in the first three levels of the water spell classes enable him to control and manipulate where his own strength was - the mind. He could calm an angry person bent on violence or scatter the thoughts of concentration. He could cause a frenzy in a calm mind making the person act in random ways or enable images of beauty or nightmare within a person. This paragraph is exactly what you are shooting for in this section. I may be a bit overly picky but explaining "how" these things are done would do wonders for impressing me. ;)

Mastery of the spiritual aspect of water has always been Dorrugh's goal, but he also knows from his father that one must be able to defend yourself if need be. Although he doesn't believe in using his magic for offensive purposes, Dorrugh will not hesitate to manipulate water to create deadly defenses. Such spells such as frost shield, area of frost or cold breath can be formidable to any who would have intention to do Dorrugh harm. Dorrugh has very little knowledge in the use of physical weapons and as such he rarely uses his magic to create weapons of ice such as daggers or spears.

Dorrugh is an ever changing person and like the water he flows this way and that never sitting still for long. He uses water to manipulate the spirit while also mounting a powerful defense. In short, his magic represents the fears and wishes of his heritage - acceptance (mental) and if that fails, defense of oneself (physical and mental)

There is also no shortage of water based reagents in the area from which Dorrugh lives. Society around him makes a livelihood of whaling and shipbuilding and he is always close to the open sea where he can practice his magic. I do hope that you understand general surroundings are not a necessity to manipulate the ounia of the car'all your mage is proficient with. True being near wet, watery or cold climates help a water mage work their incantations .... such are not necessary. Water ounia are present in all things, even a speckle of sand is composed partially of water ounia.

If you have any questions concerning magic, please ask them Dorrugh. Mina is one of the residential magic experts and some people say I know a few things. So you have a perfect chance to get some answers if you need them.
~Sincerely~
Co cr'tuulens:Twen Araerwen
« Last Edit: January 12, 2008, 06:50:08 AM by Twn Arerwn » Logged

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« Reply #5 on: January 12, 2008, 06:46:59 AM »

I, personally, have always viewed water to be very chaotic as well. If you look at the world around you, water does its own thing and can mold anyway it chooses. It has no "boundaries" or "limitations" specifically laid out for it.

Anyways, you did say this wasn't the place for discussion :p
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« Reply #6 on: January 12, 2008, 09:16:28 AM »

Just to balance this whole bit out, I'd like to throw my support behind Twen's view.  IMHO, since water desires to obtain the properties of earth, it would be quiet calm and predicatble in most cicumstances.  Chaotic movements occur, but not exceptionally often IMO.
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Mina
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« Reply #7 on: January 13, 2008, 10:59:13 AM »

It's that desire (to be like Earth in the case of Water, and like Wind in the case of Fire) that marks an element as chaotic.  Like I said, chaos is about unpredictability, not just unpredictable movement.  Anyway, we can discuss this more on the magic forum if you want. 
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Dorrugh Svenstar
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« Reply #8 on: January 14, 2008, 10:09:51 PM »

After delving deeper into the complexities of the magic system, I think I have a better understanding of it. I have edited my magic section and it is ready for more comment.

My interpretation agrees with with the admins in such water is a chaotic element (at least for Dorrugh) and he uses it as such. I made my interpretation as best I could and admittedly, the magic system is open to interpretation and that makes it flexible. No two water mages will be the same.

However, in the end, I hope you admins and mods can come to an agreement at least on my interpretation of Dorrugh because I need both of your approvals in the end of all this.  grin
« Last Edit: January 14, 2008, 10:12:50 PM by Dorrugh Svenstar » Logged

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« Reply #9 on: January 15, 2008, 01:15:14 AM »

Well, the disagreement was more about our interpretations of the nature of the element, rather than what could be done with that form of magic, so I don't think it should affect your CD too much, beyond perhaps having to word things somewhat differently.   :)


Like his father, an ever elusive and changing man, Dorrugh inherited the spirit of change and movement in his life. His very soul yearns to live life to its fullest and to never allow his weaknesses to stop him from doing what he wants to do, whatever it is. As such, Dorrugh's emotional level is one of focus and drive but also the chaos of change is ever present. As such, much as the mind of an individual is in constant change, random with thoughts and emotions, so is Dorrugh able to sense and tap into the mental chaos of another.

Dorrugh has always been sensitive to an individual's Crll, their aura, and is skillful at reading a person's emotional state (although not at reading thoughts). Dorrugh can sense the chaos and can manipulate the ounia within to disrupt or order the minds of a person. As a result, he can calm an angry person bent on violence or scatter the thoughts of someone's concentration. He could cause a frenzy in a calm mind, making that person act in random ways or enable images of beauty or of nightmare within a person. The mental ounia he can sense is like a sixth sense, a "gut feeling" that is usually correct. With his own mind, he can reach out and "touch" the ounia and direct it according to his will.

I think perhaps you have interpreted your sources incorrectly.  Sensing of car'all and ounia can only really be done through the use of a spell (which might not be possible with Water; the one spell we currently have that does this is Wind, and the other elements might not be able to alter one's senses this way).  Manipulation is definitely possible though.  You also mention 'mental' ounia.  Strictly speaking, ounia are neither mental nor physical.  Rather, they express properties of their element, which could be physical or spiritual (this includes mental ones too). 

The limitations of such a direct control of mental ounia are not lost on Dorrugh. Those individuals who's mental focus and clarity is high and sharp, such as other high level mages, cannot be easily disrupted by Dorrugh. Secondly, Dorrugh's mind is also in constant motion and he finds himself unable to control other's mental ounia for long. He struggles with his own sensitivity to everyone else around him so much so that his control over a single individual can be lost in the cacophony of everyone else around him. In other words, he finds it easier to control a crowd of ounia than a single individual within a crowd.  'Crowd of ounia'?  Well, anyway, it should normally be easier to affect an individual, as you would then not have to divide your attention amongst multiple targets.  Like I said, mages don't actually have any special senses that let them sense car'all and ounia, so distraction from that isn't really an issue.  

Mastery of the physical aspect of water is secondary to Dorrugh. He has become sensitive to the water cr'll of individuals and can instantly influence the water cr'll in an opponent. Physical touch is what he requires for most of his attacks and he knows this can be dangerous. Ice touch is a typical attack he might use against an opponent, but he rarely employs such a tactic as it would involve getting uncomfortably close to a weapon wielding opponent.

The defense of oneself is paramount to Dorrugh in a dangerous situation because he knows his physical limitations can hinder him in a direct confrontation. He makes it paramount to his studies to always formulate defenses for himself for just such an emergency. He carries reagents with him such as aquamarines for a frost shield and rosemint leaves for the area of frost spell. When confronted with multiple attackers (something Dorrugh will always never let happen to himself if he can help it) he finds that the area of frost is his most potent defense. By lowering the temperature within an area, he can slow his attackers down and escape. Rarely will Dorrugh stay to slay his enemies with he can flee.

Potential weaknesses of his use of water magic is that he has very little skill with hand to hand or ranged weapons and as such rarely casts and uses physical weapons of ice such as daggers or spears. This probably isn't possible yet at his level too.  I'm thinking such things would be Sphere 2 at least, meaning level 4 or above.  He employs his control over another person's weapon's cr'll instead and disrupts it in such a way as making a dagger unusable How so?  or drawing the bolt or arrow off target.  This should be possible, but very hard due to the speed at which the projectiles move at and the fact that there would not normally be a lot of Water ounia in thier car'all, making them more difficult to directly affect with Water magic.  

Dorrugh is an ever changing person and like the water he flows this way and that never sitting still for long. He uses water to manipulate the spirit while also mounting a powerful defense. In short, his magic represents the fears and wishes of his heritage - acceptance (mental) and if that fails, defense of oneself (physical and mental).

You should also state his level in this section. 

I think this is one of the more detailed magic sections we've had, which is good.   :)
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Dorrugh Svenstar
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« Reply #10 on: January 15, 2008, 02:10:16 AM »

Thank you Mina.

I have removed any aspect of Dorrugh "sensing" ounia. I had interpreted it as a skill inherent in a water mage's mental focus. Rather, Dorrugh is skilled at reading another person's mental state and body language. Basically, he can look at someone and interpret their facial movements "He looks upset", or "She appears troubled" or "The look in his eye says he is about to attack". He is not always correct of course, but it gives him an edge when he tries to manipulate the ounia because he can calm a person before he gets violent.

I have also removed the skill at creating weapons - he is not at that level yet and he sees it as a weakness that once he does reach that level, he wouldn't know how to use an ice dagger anyway as he has no training in weapons. And, as you said, it would be hard to direct such things as arrows. And, the liquidization spell is beyond his skill level right now anyway.
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Simonne Miller
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« Reply #11 on: January 15, 2008, 07:43:09 PM »

All right, I took a look at your CD, like you requested. I'll leave the magic section to the magic experts. For the rest, I only had a few remarks about your history.

I would like to know why his father's bank account is so big. I know that you said that his family is rich, but you also said they wanted to get rid of the troublemaker, so they're hardly going to give him lots of money, are they? So where did all this money come from? Also, we don't have banks, so you can't have a bank account ^.^

Also, I don't really see why the orcs would keep him with them. They're not exactly known for revering their women, so even if the warlord were grateful for him saving the orc woman, he'd probably just give him some food and then send him on his way. Perhaps there was a small raiding party of the other clan and he helped save the warlord himself by using his magic, and so the warlord saw how it could be useful to keep him with them? Just a suggestion :)

And lastly, your history is more about Dorrugh's father than about Dorrugh. It's good that you give much explanation, because it is needed, but perhaps you can add a bit about Dorrugh's life? However, this is not an *absolute* necessity to get a title, so that's only a suggestion as well ^.^

With regard,
Simonne
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« Reply #12 on: January 15, 2008, 10:06:22 PM »

Thank you for the comments Simmone. Let me address those bits and pieces of Dorrugh's history:

1. The Avennorian peoples are known as being shipbuilders, pearl divers and bountiful merchants. Hrof's family was simply just another wealthy family who made their wealth from trading. Nothing too unusual there. Like you said, the CD is about Horrugh not how his family came into money.

2. The orc warlord was not quite the capable leader and not on the bright side - in fact, he was slightly senile in his old age. His family was beset on all sides by powerful rivals and he was doing all he could to keep his family alive. As a result, his family was very important to him especially his children who would succeed him. When Hrof rescued his daughter, the warlord was grateful and not only that, he had half a sense to keep the human around if just for his magical ability. Hrof did kill two of the rivals. But when the discovery of a half-orc child was revealed, his opponents took advantage of the scandal and attacked. So you are correct in that Hrof was kept for his power moreso than out of gratefulness.

3. In order to properly explain the reasons for the rarity of a half-orc being born, it is required to have a reasonably realistic backstory. I tried to stay away from the cliche "human raped by orcs" reasons and had to come up with another reason for a human/orc pairing. Hrof was an open-minded, non-judgmental and adventurous person and was willing to explore and attempt anything remotely new and exciting...living with orcs was just such an adventure, however, he knew to keep his head down. Just because he was close to a warlord and his daughter didn't mean he could openly parade around with little consequence. The daughter kept him close and protected him and they shared similar personality qualities and thus the attraction was born.
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Simonne Miller
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« Reply #13 on: January 15, 2008, 10:55:16 PM »

I know the things you explained. They are in your CD already. What I would like to see is a small line added here and there just to make things a little bit clearer.

About the first comment: you state in the CD that his family is wealthy, but also that they wanted to get rid of him, so I still want to see a small explanation in your CD of how he got this money then. Like I said, if they wanted to get rid of him, they wouldn't give him this money. Unless his father died and he inherited the money for example, in which case a line explaining this would be enough ;)

2. Again, a small line added to let us know that this warlord was not the best or most capable of leaders, and thus sometimes makes strange decisions (in the eyes of other orcs, for example) would be enough to satisfy me.

3. Yes, I know. I can read ;) I just meant that maybe there are some interesting things that happened in Dorrugh's life (not that of his parents) that you could tell us about, so that it's not 3/4th of his history that deals with his parents instead of himself. You don't have to shorten the episode about his parents, just lengthen the one about him a bit :)

Simonne
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« Reply #14 on: January 15, 2008, 11:36:45 PM »

1. Ok, I took your suggestion and had Hrof inherit his money from his deceased grandfather. This "fund" was untouchable to everyone but Hrof so when his family threw him out, Hrof was able to support himself.

2. I added your suggestion.

3. Added some details of Dorrugh's childhood.
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