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Author Topic: Roslynn Chadwick/ Erpheronian/ Wanderer  (Read 7878 times)
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Roslynn Chadwick
Stammering Belle
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Human, Erpheronian


« on: March 29, 2008, 12:15:21 AM »

Name Roslynn Chadwick
Gender Female
Age 20            
Height 1 Ped, 1 Fore, 2 Palmspans
Weight 1 Pygge, 4 Ods
Eye Color Xazure
Hair Color Aeruillin Red/ Sor’inyt Orange
Race Human
Tribe Erpheronian
Occupation Odd Jobs
Title Stammering Belle

Physical Appearance
Her hair is the brightest shade of red one would ever see, seeming to feed off any form of light that happened to touch it. The long, fiery locks are the only physical trait she inherited from her father. The slender wings of her brows and the heavy fringe of her lashes are a darker shade of auburn, while her skin is that of a true redhead, fair and a bit freckled on the nose and cheeks. Some are often amused by the festive scattering of little gold flecks, sprinkled as if by the whim of a friendly fairy. She has generously full lips that were colored a natural rose, and large, round blue eyes, pretty but emotionless eyes, like those of a wax doll. Situated just at the outer corner of her right eye is a small, crescent shaped scar, a reminder from one of the particularly rough beatings she received from her uncle.

Although she is rather small of stature her hips have a lovely plumpness to them, noticeably wider than her trim waist that leads up to a pair of soft, voluptuous breasts. The outline of her collarbone just barely protrudes below an elegant, regal neck. She gives off the appearance of being dainty and fragile, which is a more than accurate description of not only her build but her mental stability as well. More often than not she looks uncomfortable, as if she's unsure of what to do or where she should be.

Clothing
She is dressed in a simple dark blue muslin dress with long, billowy sleeves secured tightly at her wrists. The hem of which is slightly worn, tattered and skims along the ground as she walks. A similarly colored bodice is secured around her midriff with intricate red and orange floral patterns embroidered into the fabric. She wears no other adornment aside from a pair of well-worn leather slippers and a simple blue ribbon tied at the bottom of a long, thick braid. During the colder seasons she'll wear a finely made blue, velvet cloak that's been mended more times than she can remember.

Personality
Although she is a genuinely kind and caring individual, Roslynn is painfully shy and self conscious, mostly due to the stutter she possesses which makes the prospect of conversation a session of torture for both participants. Her stammer isn't quite so bad when she is around people she is comfortable with, but unfortunately there aren't an abundance of those.

Beneath her shy, stuttering outer shell Roslynn is an extremely intelligent girl. While outwardly she may appear dull and dimwitted, she is actually a rather clever and levelheaded woman. If one were ever able to penetrate behind the emotional guard she has put up for herself, they would discover the painful and unnerving secrets of her past. Don't hold you breath however, for it's not a very likely event.

When she is comfortable, and more often than not this occurs only when she is alone, Roslynn allows for her curious and perhaps somewhat audacious nature to come through. Enjoying the fact that she never knows what the next day in her journey is going to bring for her, she is always daring with the choices of which route to take next, or which city would bring the most excitement. She is eager to see new places and experience amazing new adventures.

Strengths

Equestrian Skills- An novice rider on horses of pleasant or gentle temperaments. It's mainly her less than commanding disposition that makes it difficult for her to control a more spirited animal, but she can easy maneuver a more tame creature.

Botanist- General knowledge of how to properly grow and care for a large variety of crops, herbs and miscellaneous plants. Produce and medicinal plants are her specialty, though she's been working with different types of flora recently.

Musician- Advanced skill in playing both the flute as well as the harp. As a result, the tips of her fingers are often somewhat calloused though she does her best to keep them moisturized.

Weaknesses

Overly Compliant- Always fearful of physical punishment, Roslynn is perhaps too eager to obey requests or commands from other people. Never one to say "No", this allows for people to constantly take advantage of her.

Shyness- It is often a struggle for her to approach strangers which makes job hunting and just asking for general assistance a difficult obstacle to overcome.

Stutter- Roslynn's stutter often belies her intelligence and makes it hard for people to take her seriously. When searching for a job, it is not helpful when you cannot even complete one sentence without struggling through it.

History
Roslynn has grown up under the strict, and often times abusive, guidance of her mothers family. While exceedingly wealthy, they were an extremely cold and uncaring family to be raised by.  Life in the Maybrick household had been a nightmare. The Maybricks, including the Stubbinses - her mother’s sister Florence and her husband, Peregine - had joined in a collective effort to break Roslynn’s will. They were angered and puzzled as to why it had been so difficult… and Roslynn was no less puzzled than they. She wouldn’t have ever though that she could endure harsh punishment, indifference, and even hatred, without crumbling. Perhaps she had more of her father in her than anyone had guessed. Ivo Chadwick had been a bare-knuckled bruiser, and the secret to his success, within his job as a mercenary and outside it, was not talent but tenacity. She had inherited the same stubbornness.

Roslynn had wanted to see her father. She had wanted it so badly that the longing was a physical ache. She believed he was the only person in the world who had actually cared for her. His love was negligent, but it was more than she had ever gotten from anyone else. She understood why he had abandoned her to the Maybricks long ago, directly after her mother had died in childbirth. A mercenary’s life was no environment to raise an infant. She could not help but wonder, though… if her father had known how she was to be treated, would he have made the same choice? If he’d had any inkling that the family’s anger at their youngest daughter’s rebellion would become focused on a helpless child… but there was no use wondering now.

Her mother was dead, and her father recently had passed on as well. But imagining the fury of her aunts and uncles upon learning that she was forever out of their reach, Roslynn felt her misery ease a little. It was worth anything not to have to live under their domination for the rest of her life. Worth anything, too, not to be forced into marriage with her poor, cowardly cousin Eustance, who took refuge in eating and drinking to excess, until he was nearly too corpulent to fit through the doorway of his own room. Though he hated his parents almost as much as Roslynn did, Eustance would never dare defy them. Roslynn had too feared the beating she would receive if she chose to refuse. The last time she had defied them and tried to escape to the neighboring villiage her uncle had intercepted her and by the time they reached the house she had a black eye and a split lip, along with the countless number of bruises on her arms.

It had been Eustance, ironically, who had finally driven Roslynn to escape not so long ago. He had come to her two years ago now with a betrothal ring, a gold band with a jade stone. “Here,” he had said, a bit sheepishly. “Mother said I was to give this to you - and you won’t be allowed to have any meals unless you wear it to the dining table.” It had not been unexpected. After trying for three years to find Roslynn a husband to cast her off on, the family had come to the conclusion that she was simply too undesirable to attract any male interested.

That was probably the last she would ever see of Eustance, Roslynn had though with morose satisfaction. One did not often see him in society. As his girth expanded, he confided himself more and more to Maybrick House, located just south of Voldar in the Vardynn Province. No matter how things turned out, she would never regret running from the fate of becoming his wife. It was doubtful that Eustance would ever had tried to bed her… he did not seem to possess a sufficient quantity of what was genteelly referred to as “animal spirits.” His passion was reserved exclusively for food and wine.

Now, almost two years since she had left the “comforts” of her home, Roslynn has merely wandered aimlessly, looking for any opportunity of work to earn the money to go on searching another day. Searching for what exactly, she wasn’t quite sure. The only useful knowledge the Maybricks had ever given her was the ability to play both the flute and the harp magnificently, as well as making sure she had the ability to manage a horse, as they were wont to make it her responsibility to ride into town whenever necessary. In an endeavor to make Roslynn a more desirable choice for a wife, the Maybricks required daily music and riding lessons. While their attempts were useless in bring forth proposals of marriage, Roslynn greatly benefited from the exhausting lessons.

While for the past two years Roslynn was forced to take on an array for different and often times disagreeable jobs, the one she enjoyed the most was her time spent in Cavthan. Working as an assistant at a local farm she picked up a great amount of knowledge regarding agriculture. During harvest season she would help collect the assortment of crops grown on the farm, and then proceeded in offering assistance to plant seeds for the crops that wouldn't grow back on their own. In the winter season she would work with the farmers wife in the garden, directly attached to the house. Her musical talent, along with the botany experience she picked up on her only long-term job, has help her continue to survive on her own.

Belongings
Thick dark blue cloak
Flint
Small pan
Small tin cup
Cerated knife
Fork
Tooth Cabbage
Seeds
Spices
Compass
Maps
Large leather satchel
« Last Edit: March 04, 2010, 03:23:08 PM by Kalína Mërénwèn » Logged

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Kalína Dalá'isyrás
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« Reply #1 on: March 29, 2008, 12:51:18 AM »

I edited your posticon to the correct one for the moderators :)
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Insanity is only a perception made by those who have yet to attain its greatness. While those of us who have already stepped inside its bounds find bliss in our utter madness.
Nai'r en'Lina ar'Kaimel
Roslynn Chadwick
Stammering Belle
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Human, Erpheronian


« Reply #2 on: March 29, 2008, 05:46:17 AM »

Oh, I'm sorry. Thank you.
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Roslynn Chadwick
Stammering Belle
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Posts: 89


Human, Erpheronian


« Reply #3 on: April 01, 2008, 01:07:33 AM »

Okay, I'm sure there are a lot of things I missed but here it is.
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Azhira Styralias
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« Reply #4 on: April 01, 2008, 04:19:17 AM »

Hi Roslynn! You have a nice start here. I am no mod, but I saw a few things that you may need to expand upon...comments in Orange.

Name- Roslynn Chadwick

Gender- Female

Age- 20

Height- 1 Ped, 1 Fore, 2 Palmspans

Weight- 1 Pygge, 4 Ods

Eye Color- Cobalt Blue

Hair Color- Red/Orange

Race- Human

Tribe- Erpheronian

Occupation- Odd Jobs

Title- Wanderer

(The above stuff looks great! Nothing unusual there. Although some commenters might suggest using the Santharian words for colors, it is not required in my opinion.)

Physical Appearance-     Her hair is the brightest shade of red one would ever see, seeming to feed off any form of light that happened to touch it. The slender wings of her brows and the heavy fringe of her lashes are a darker shade of auburn, while her skin is that of a true redhead, fair and a bit freckled on the nose and cheeks. Some were often amused by the festive scattering of little gold flecks, sprinkled as if by the whim of a friendly fairy. She had generously full lips that were colored a natural rose, and large, round blue eyes, pretty but emotionless eyes, like those of a wax doll. Although she was rather small of stature her hips had a lovely plumpness to them, noticeably wider than her trim waist that led up to a pair of soft, voluptuous breasts.

(Very nice, detailed descriptive appearance. "Some were often amused by the festive scattering of little gold flecks, sprinkled as if by the whim of a friendly fairy." I can picture her already in my mind...*blush*  grin)

Clothing-     She is dressed in a simple dark blue muslin dress with long fitted sleeves that flare slightly at her wrists. A similarly colored bodice is secured around her midriff with intricate red and orange floral patterns and embroidery sewn into the fabric. She wears no other adornment aside from a pair of well-worn leather slippers and a simple blue ribbon tied at the bottom of a long, thick braid.

(Clothing is nice. Again, good description)

Personality-     Although she is a genuinely kind and caring individual, Roslynn is painfully shy and self conscious, mostly due to the stutter she possesses which makes the prospect of conversation a session of torture for both participants. Her stammer isn't quite so bad when she is around people she is comfortable with, but unfortunately there aren't an abundance of those.
                    Beneath her shy, stuttering outer shell Roslynn is an extremely intelligent girl. Outwardly she may appear dull and dimwitted, she is actually a rather clever and levelheaded woman. If one were ever able to penetrate behind the emotional guard she has put up for herself, they would discover the painful and unnerving secrets of her past.

(Hrm...your personality should be expanded a bit. Seems a tad short. Perhaps explain some of the more positive aspects of your personality?)

[Strengths]

Equestrian Skills- An advanced and experience rider on horses of most temperaments, she has no problem keeping any already broken horse under control.
Botanist- An extensive knowledge of how to properly grow and care for a large variety of flowers, miscellaneous plants and herbs.
Nurse- Trained in several medical procedures appropriate for a nurse but not nearly as advance as a professional.
Musician- Advanced skill in playing both the flute as well as the harp.

[Weaknesses]

Physical Strength- Her strength is that of an average human woman her size, which accounts for her inability to perform strenuous manual labor.
Combat- She has not been instructed on how to use any form of weaponry or how to perform any hand-to-hand fighting styles.
Shyness- It is often a struggle for her to approach strangers which makes job hunting and just asking for general assistance a difficult obstacle to overcome.
Stutter- Roslynn's stutter often belies her intelligence and makes it hard for people to take her seriously.

(Strengths and Weaknesses are a bit overbalanced. Your weaknesses do not equal your considerable strengths. For example, you are as strong as an average woman and you don't use weapons...well, the same could be said of any number of commoner women, so it doesn't make it a weakness. You are comparing yourself to an average peasant woman and those two weaknesses wouldn't count as weaknesses.

The shyness and stutter could be considered weaknesses, absolutely! I would perhaps expand on them a bit more. Explain more how they hinder your life.

As for strengths, they are good by themselves or two of them at most, but being good with horses, herbs, medicine AND music is a bit too much. I would take away one or to of those or instead of being an "expert" you can instead be decent or above average. Remember, if you are an expert in anything, you would have to properly explain how you were trained in such things. Being good at all of those things at age 20 wouldn't be believable.)


History-     Roslynn has grown up under the strict, and often times abusive, guidance of her mothers family. Life in the Maybrick household had been a nightmare. The Maybricks, including the Stubbinses - her mother’s sister Florence and her husband, Peregine - had joined in a collective effort to break Roslynn’s will. They were angered and puzzled as to why it had been so difficult… and Roslynn was no less puzzled than they. She wouldn’t have ever though that she could endure harsh punishment, indifference, and even hatred, without crumbling. Perhaps she had more of her father in her than anyone had guessed. Ivo Chadwick had been a bare-knuckled bruiser, and the secret to his success, within his job as a mercenary and outside it, was not talent but tenacity. She had inherited the same stubbornness.
   Roslynn had wanted to see her father. She had wanted it so badly that the longing was a physical ache. She believed he was the only person in the world who had actually cared for her. His love was negligent, but it was more than she had ever gotten from anyone else. She understood why he had abandoned her to the Maybricks long ago, directly after her mother had died in childbirth. A mercenary’s life was no environment to raise an infant. She could not help but wonder, though… if her father had known how she was to be treated, would he have made the same choice? If he’d had any inkling that the family’s anger at their youngest daughter’s rebellion would become focused on a helpless child… but there was no use wondering now.
   Her mother was dead, and her father recently had passed on as well. But imagining the fury of her aunts and uncles upon learning that she was forever out of their reach, Roslynn felt her misery ease a little. It was worth anything not to have to live under their domination for the rest of her life. Worth anything, too, not to be forced into marriage with her poor, cowardly cousin Eustance, who took refuge in eating and drinking to excess, until he was nearly too corpulent to fit through the doorway of his own room. Though he hated his parents almost as much as Roslynn did, Eustance would never dare defy them. Roslynn had too feared that beating she would receive if she chose to refuse. The last time she had defied them and tried to escape to the neighboring villiage her uncle had intercepted her and by the time that reached the house she had a black eye and a split lip, along with the countless number of bruised on her arms.
   It had been Eistance, ironically, who had finally driven Roslynn to escape not so long ago. He had come to her 2 years ago now with a betrothal ring, a gold band with a jade stone. “Here,” he had said, a bit sheepishly. “Mother said I was to give this to you - and you won’t be allowed to have any meals unless you wear it to the dining table.” It had not been unexpected. After trying for three years to find Roslynn a husband to cast her off on the family had come to the conclusion that was simply too undesirable to attract any male interested.
   That was probably the last she would ever see of Eustance, Roslynn had though with morose satisfaction. One did not often see him in society. As his girth expanded, he confided himself more and more to Maybrick House. No matter how things turned out, she would never regret running from the fate of becoming his wife. It was doubtful that Eustance would ever had tried to bed her… he did not seem to possess a sufficient quantity of what was genteelly referred to as “animal spirits.” His passion was reserved exclusively for food and wine.
   Now, almost two years since she had left the “comforts” of her home, Roslynn has merely wandered aimlessly, looking for any opportunity of work to earn the money to go on searching another day. Searching for what exactly, she wasn’t quite sure. The only useful knowledge the Maybricks had ever given her was the ability to play both the flute and the harp magnificently, as well as making sure she had the ability to manage a horse, as they were wont to make it her responsibility to ride into town whenever necessary . Her musical talent, along with the nursing and botany experience she picked up on her only two longer term jobs, has help her continue to survive on her own.

(Along with your Strengths I explained, your history is good, but you skim over exactly how you learned to manage a horse, play the flute and harp and nursing and botany. I would start by tweaking your strengths as I explained and then re-write your history including learning and applying those strengths.)

Weapons- None

Familiars- None (If you can manage horses, it wouldn't be a bad idea to perhaps own one as well? I can see Rosalynn with a horse.  ;) )

Belongings
-Thick dark blue cloak
-Flint
-Small pan
-Cerated knife
-Fork
-Spices
-Compass
-Maps
-Large tan, leather sack


(Overall, this is a good start. Tweak the S&W a bit and then integrate them into the history for a better overall believable CD.  Thumb up Thumb up)
« Last Edit: April 01, 2008, 04:21:33 AM by Azhira El'rosse » Logged

"Be still and I shall calm your mind and mend your broken body."
Roslynn Chadwick
Stammering Belle
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Human, Erpheronian


« Reply #5 on: April 01, 2008, 04:59:01 AM »

Thanks so much. I believe Ive fixed all of the problems you've pointed out. Maybe you could tell me what the Santharian words for colors are??
« Last Edit: April 01, 2008, 05:00:09 AM by Roslynn Chadwick » Logged

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Azhira Styralias
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« Reply #6 on: April 01, 2008, 05:16:24 AM »

The Santharian colors are located here:

http://santharia.com/standards/colours_of_santharia.htm

 :D
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"Be still and I shall calm your mind and mend your broken body."
Twén Aråerwén
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« Reply #7 on: April 01, 2008, 05:39:21 AM »

Hello Roslynn and welcome to Santharia! I must extend my apologies for not doing a complete read over of this at the moment. I have a couple RL issues to handle right quick. In the meantime I would ask that you place a single space between each of your paragraphs. The indent you used is very professional but without spaces it is fairly strenuous on the eyes, especially for those of us that read dozens if not hundreds of CDs on a regular basis.

I should be getting back to this within an hour or two and will give you a complete check over. As I mentioned before, my sincerest apologies for not doing so right now. Hopefully the above suggestion gives you a bit to handle in my absence.
~Sincerely~
Cáo fá cár'tuulén:Twen Araerwen

P.S: Santharian colors are not a must but they do add a bit of flavor to the overall theme. heart
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•º•The spell fell upon the crowd like a dragon, •º•
•º•ancient and full of death.•º•
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Roslynn Chadwick
Stammering Belle
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Human, Erpheronian


« Reply #8 on: April 01, 2008, 05:44:46 AM »

Okay, spaces inserted. Thanks for the advice.
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Twén Aråerwén
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« Reply #9 on: April 01, 2008, 06:54:41 AM »

Well after reading this over thoroughly I can honestly say "Very well written!" There are only two very minor things I noticed. First, you use words and numbers throughout the history. Writing out the number reads much better and I would suggest altering them. Secondly, you have a couple wrong word usages in the history example: bruised instead of bruises.

These are all minor things that can be adjusted while awaiting a second approval.

~First Approval~ 
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•º•The spell fell upon the crowd like a dragon, •º•
•º•ancient and full of death.•º•
_.·´¯) Twén Aråerwén's CD(¯`·._
Roslynn Chadwick
Stammering Belle
Approved Character
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Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 89


Human, Erpheronian


« Reply #10 on: April 01, 2008, 07:08:00 AM »

Okay, thank you! Ive made the adjustments you suggested.
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Kalína Dalá'isyrás
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« Reply #11 on: April 01, 2008, 02:12:10 PM »

Well done!

You have my approval, and in turn, a title! Congratulations :)
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Valan Nonesuch
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« Reply #12 on: March 01, 2010, 11:01:14 AM »

It's up!
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Roslynn Chadwick
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Human, Erpheronian


« Reply #13 on: March 01, 2010, 12:18:52 PM »

There aren't too many changes
I changed the title and added a little to everything except the history
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« Reply #14 on: March 01, 2010, 12:27:17 PM »

It'd really help us if you'd coloured the edits you made there Roslynn.
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