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Author Topic: Cár'ámn Glasajcín/Tethinrhim/Ranger  (Read 16379 times)
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Cár'ámn Glasajcín
Raín Glasajís
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Gender: Male
Posts: 47


Elf, Tethinrhim


« on: April 24, 2008, 06:10:58 AM »

Name: Cár'ámn Glasajcín (sorrowful Soul)
   
Gender: Male

Age: 103 leaf falls (years)

Race: Elf

Tribe: Tethinrhim

Occupation: Ranger/Mercenary/Archer

Title: Raín Glasajís (Warrior of Sorrow)

Overview:
Cár'ámn Glasajcín is a male elf from the Tethinrhim tribe with a long line of proud Kaierian Warriors.  He has worked hard to obtain the skills that set these skilled individuals apart from others and values that heritage.  There have been many tragic events in his life including the deaths of his parents and the elfess he loved which have caused him to hold beliefs that in some respect are closer to those held by humans than elves.  When he was given permission to leave for his Traveling Warrior level of training, he chose to head southward where a family of Shendar has befriended the young warrior accepting him into their nomadic lives.  He has made a decision not to return to his beloved homeland until he finds himself and makes peace with the tragic losses that have filled his life.

Appearance:
Height: 2 ped, 1 nailsbredth
Weight: 1 Pygge, 3 Hebs, 5 Mut.
Hair Color: Korwyn (golden) aeruillin (red) of the dying sun
Eye Color: light adlemirene (brown) near the pupil and mi’rhén (emerald) green towards the outer part of the iris

Physical Appearance:
Cár’ámn Glasajcín has long hair the color of the dying sun.  It flows gracefully over his sculpted shoulders in golden red cascades for about two palm spans.  His eyes are striking as they graduate between adlemirene and mi’rhén.  From them you can tell his deep sorrows and pain and feel as if he can since yours.  He has paler than usual skin tone for his tribe almost as that of a dark elf. Cár'ámn has well defined muscles that seem to flow effortlessly as he moves his slender figure.

On Cár’ámn Glasajcín’s left upper arm is the tattoo that is the birthright of those born to the Thethinrhim tribe. It resides on his left arm occupying the usual location of such a marking.  The image of an eagle-like creature with its head bent down slightly to the creature’s right.  The body just below the head outlines the shield that denotes his tribe. It is inked primarily in nor’sidian with an aeruillin red eye and beak.  The bird’s broad wings seem to encircle the shield as if to embrace it.  The aeruillin band that marks a warrior encircles his arm at the level of the shield.

Clothing:
Cloak: this outer garment is constructed of a heavy, dark Gnastheen green cotton fabric.  It contains a slit on each side of the opening where the fabric may overlap.  This allows him to wear the cloak and still uses his arms.  There are also two large inner pockets, one on each side of the front opening.

Breeches: These are made from a lighter gnastheen cotton fabric and ties about the waist.  To allow him movement they flare out form the waist slightly.

Tunic: This traditional tunic is made from a cotton that has been died a elken tan color.

Tunic armor: Cár'ámn possesses a deer skin leather tunic that is slit along the sides and hangs down from the shoulder in the front and back to cover most of his thighs.  It is fastened about his waist by a belt.  Portions of the garment such as the shoulders and forearms are padded to provide a little more protection.

Leggings: Made from deer Hides, this leg armor covers from just below his knees and the majority of his upper legs. 

Leather gloves: Cár’ámn Glasajcín posses the traditional leather gloves made from deer hides.

Boots: These soft boots leather are a dark eophran color.  They allow him to move quickly and securely among the treetops.

Belt: The belt is made from the hide of a baneg cow.  His dagger hangs from this belt along with his coin purse and other pouches.

Helmet: Made from hardened leather the garment covers the top of his skull and comes around the back portion it fastens to the chin with a strap.  Between two layers of leather in the back portion of the helmet is a small steel plate.

Vieors: These are traditional markings of Kaierian Warriors.  These are a necktie and an arm band.

Personality:
Cár’ámn Glasajcín is an elf that in spite of the tragedies in his life is surprisingly congenial.  He is reserved, respectful and thoughtful of others.  He is not usually the one willing to start a conversation but once the warrior has been approached, he will be quite friendly and engaging.  Nearly everyone Cár’ámn has the privilege of meeting would agree that though soft spoken it is worth their time to get to know him. 

He will seem to be a loner and unwilling to share his feelings.  It is necessary to earn the warrior’s trust before he will be willing to open up to you and even then is more likely to display his feelings in other ways besides facial expressions and words.  He may perform a task for you or give you something that might indicate his feeling rather than simply tell you what is on his mind.  This is because expressing emotions are things he finds hard to express.  It is considered a sign of weakness among the Tethinrhim to display feelings in public and is actually forbidden in the tribe.  This has lead Cár’ámn to feel that if he were to do this it might endanger him or others.  Because of this, he fears that if he becomes too close to someone they may suffer as a result.  These feelings cause him to be more reserved and resist opening up to others.  Smiling and laughing are examples of facial expressions that are foreign to Cár’ámn and will almost never be seen by others.

Conversations with the Tethinrhim might be a bit one sided at times until he feels comfortable.  Many say that although he speaks little his words are full of wisdom.  He speaks directly to the point and will not give complements easily nor will he try to flatter others to gain their approval. Cár’ámn feels that by giving flattery or undeserved complements his is being untruthful both to himself and to others.

If the young warrior were to be asked to compete in a test of skill, such as an archery contest, the warrior would find it difficult to refuse.  He thrives on the competition if the event were not threatening to others or dishonorable in some way he would participate.  This is not to say that extenuating circumstances may not prevent him but if it is in his power to decide he would gladly do so.

Once the warrior’s trust has been earned, he will be as loyal a friend as you could hope to find and would put his life on the line for that person.  Cár'ámn will not hesitate of offer his aid if it is needed.  As with most Kaierian Warriors, he will join an honorable cause once he is convince that his services might prove beneficial.


Strengths & Weaknesses
Strengths:
  • Archery: He has an excellent ability with the recurve bow for his level of training.  Because of this, it his preferred weapon.  Aiming of the bow is by line of site rather than the more tradition methods used by less experienced bowmen.
  • Iteh training: Part of his training includes the ability to dodge and strike an opponent.  These maneuvers are considered gymnastic and acrobatic in nature giving him an advantage when in battle.
  • Self-defense (hand-to-hand combat): Also part of his Kaierian Warrior training is the ability to defend oneself.  He can dodge blows and parry them with either a part of his body or another object.
  • Tracking: Cár'ámn has the ability to track both animals and sentient beings.  He has found this useful on occasion not just to assist in finding someone or something but also in being able to identify if someone other than his friends are looking for him.
  • Healing Herbs: because of his training, Cár'ámn possesses natural, plant based, methods of healing.  He finds this useful both for himself and those he finds he can be of service to.

Weaknesses:
  • Apparitions: He sees things that are not there.  This is because of a childhood injury to the back of his head.  The Accumulated traumatic events that have occurred in his life also contribute to his condition.  Usually they are the forms of Avathcin Querín (Beautiful Leaf), his diseased love.  She appears to be looking at him as if was still alive. At other times, he sees his father.  This happens when he is trying to make an important decision.
  • Night Frights: The night frights the warrior endures are so severe that he will often believe they were real.  They may be reenactments of events in his life or what seems to be an event yet to happen.  During a nocturnal episode, he will sweat profusely, cry out in agony or pain while in the grip of the dream, and always remember it when he awakens.
  • Strong sense of justice: He will often act irrationally when faced with the knowledge of a wrongdoing.  He may act foolishly to try and rectify what he perceives as unjust even if to do so would place himself or others in danger.
    • Left Shoulder: Cár'ámn injured his left shoulder while attempting to prove his superiority.  As a result, the arm will come out of joint, usually he is attempting a feat beyond his ability.  When this occurs the arm is useless and causes him extreme pain until it is reset.
    • Desire to Prove Himself:  The warrior has a burning desire to prove his worthiness.  This has caused him to attempt feats that were beyond his capability resulting in injury.  It requires a strong exertion of his will to refrain for this desire.
    • Unconsciousness:  Because of a head wound receive falling from a tree Cár'ámn can loose consciousness easily of struck sharply in the back of his skull.  This is of great concern to a warrior seeing that a simple blow could render him helpless.


    History
    Cár’ámn Glasajcín arrived into the world in the fourth hour of Guardorans (twentieth hour) of the first of Córt'ometrá.  Birthing the child was more than the young elfess Avathcin'merín could bear and she fell into the scales of Seyella.  The Avár'Soórn had already been called to perform the naming ceremony but now found himself obliged to perform the rights of passage from life to death.  He stood clutching his well-worn staff and sighed.  He back bent slightly with age but his eyes were keen and a aura of wisdom surrounded his form.  The spiritual guide had taken a position to the side of the small tree home that Avathcin'merín and his father; Rhéneú'pherán had shared since their hasty marriage less than a leaf fall before.  As he glanced about the dimly lit room, his attention was drawn to the sound of a female child bursting through the front door.  She sprinted quickly to his side and began to speak in as hasty a manor as was her entrance.

    “The father, I mean Rhéneú'pherán,” the girl corrected nervously brushing a few misplaced strands of her sunset red hair from her face, “will be here soon.  He must find a replacement for his post guarding the Ria.”

    The old elf nodded his acknowledgement of the message and glanced over at the midwife who was just finishing bathing the newborn.

    “Very well my child,” the spiritual guide said returning his gaze to the young elfess.  He leaned heavily against the worn walking stick held tightly within the spiritual guides grip, “but would you close the door as the cold is not good for the infant.”

    As the young elfess turned to correct her mistake, she saw the father brush past her, his face emotionless but the internal flame within his eyes extinguished.  She continued to watch as the warrior came and stood by the aged elf.

    “Sorrow,” the Avár'Soórn said with an audible sigh, “sorrow and death,” He turned to face the father but offered no expression to reveal his true feelings, “this child will live a life filled with it.”

    At the naming ceremony, the child lay still and quiet even as the artist pricked his soft, smooth skin leaving the marks as instructed in low tones by the Avár'Soórn.  When the image was complete, the artist looked up at the spiritual guide with a perplexed look but asked no questions.  He simply stood, gathered his vials of ink and needles used to inject the die then left the room quietly.  The father shifted on his feet as he waited for the words from the spiritual guide.

    “His name Rhéneú'pherán,” the spiritual guide said, his face tensed and his voice nearly cracking, “will be Cár’ámn Glasajcín, sorrow and death will follow him like a shadow all the days Avá has appointed him.”

    The old elf took in a deep breath and leaned heavily on his staff, “sorrow will surround him like a swarm of groshmite after their hapless victim and death will haunt his travels like a móh-Mélor.”

    Childhood
    Cár’ámn Glasajcín had scarcely seen 9 leaf falls when the loss of a childhood friend brought about the rumors that would begin to plague his life.  He was staying in the home of a family that had taken compassion on the child.  They put him to sleep next to their son on a night when a storm shook the homes of the elves living in the trees.  Peals of thunder would awake the sleeping pair and streaks of lightening would illuminate the room where they lay on the cold wooden floor.  As they both stared out the window and marveled at the noise and light a bolt of lightning leaped through the window and struck the lad next to the warrior’s son.  Leaping to his feet, Cár'ámn watched the boy convulsed within the white streaks of energy then lay lifeless at his feet.  The elf stood motionless and silent; his eyes wide as he stared down at what remained of his companion.  Rain entered the now darkened room through the shattered window and soaked Cár'ámn to his skin yet the child remained motionless, frozen in fear.  The mother of his friend entered the room clutched the limp form of her son to her and stared at the surviving child.  There were no words of comfort offered frightened child, no touch of understanding, only looks of distain for his surviving the ordeal.

    The Child Warrior
    His father convinced the leaders to allow his son to begin training as a Cáo-króin (child warrior) a little earlier than normal.  Shortly after his son began, Rhéneú'pherán left on his S_s'pharanhé-króin (Second Traveling Warrior) excursion leaving his son in the care of Eayá'pherán, a close trusted friend.

    Eayá'pherán would spend time with the lad and encourage him to do his best.  He took his young charge with him on many excursions into the woods and showed him the many plants and animals.  As a gift for his next leaf fall Eayá'pherán gave Cár'ámn his first short bow.  It was more of a toy than a weapon but with it the lad could learn the rudimentary basics of how to shoot and aim. Along with the bow, he was given a wooden dagger that Eayá'pherán spent time explaining simple facts about the parts and how the weapon could be used.  This gave the lad an early start in this area and Eayá'pherán a purpose to spend time with the you elf.
     
    Cár'ámn excelled in nearly every aspect of this early training and outperformed children of considerably higher ages.  The iteh training provided the child with a level of self-confidence he had not previously enjoyed giving him the incentive necessary to excel with the training in various plants, shrubs and animals.  He astounded his teachers with his ability to comprehend and retain knowledge and the speed at which he learned.  Cár'ámn was extremely eager to please those who taught him and tried his best to be the model student seeking their approval in every possible manor.  Often he would be taken out of the Ria and tutored privately by one of the trainers under the guise that the other students felt more comfortable when Cár'ámn was not around but in truth, it was because of the ability and skill the young warrior showed.

    Not long after Cár'ámn’s 11th leaf fall, Eayá'pherán was forced to tell him of his father’s death.  The boy swallowed hard as he looked at the unsheathed dagger that lay upon him.  The blade had been broken about three nailsbreadths from the tip leaving a rough, jagged edge that glistened in the sun. 

    Cár'ámn let his gaze rise up to the hazel eyes of the seasoned warrior who cared for him, “no,” he said as his lower lip began to quiver, “not my daddy too.”

    As with most young boys he felt the need to prove himself to others.  One day he was dared to run along the spilt log bridges that connected the tree homes where he lived.  He was told that there was no way he could cross a certain distance in a given time so Cár'ámn insisted on trying it.

    The young warrior slipped on a wet portion of the wooden surface and fell from his high position down to the forest floor below.  On his way down, he struck his head against a large tree limb.  Blood poured from the back of the child’s now fractured skull and his vision began to change as if he were looking down a tunnel then his world went black as he lost consciousness.  For four days, Cár'ámn lay unconscious in his home recovering from the assault.  This injury caused him to begin seeing apparitions and may loose consciousness easily if struck on the back of his head.  Eayá'pherán had a special helmet made for the lad to help protect the weakened portion of his skull.

    Third Warrior
    When 18 leaf falls had passed he became an Asthár-króin (Third Warrior).  It was at this time that Cár'ámn fell in love with Avathcin Querín, a beautiful elfess with hair of varied adlemirene hues and eyes the color of Cár'reoll'nós stones.  They would spend much time together, although she seemed to do most of the talking, and her parents were delighted that such a notable warrior showed an interest in their daughter.  Eayá'pherán was delighted that some happiness had come into his young charge’s life.  However, the happiness was short lived.  One day when the young warrior came to call on his beloved the father claimed she was ill and that a healer had been called to examine her.  Faithfully the elf returned each day only to be turned away by the father who insisted he could not see his daughter.  Finally, he saw a stretcher leaving the home. Cár'ámn knew by the somber looks on the parent’s faces as they followed close behind that laying cloaked by a cotton sheet was Avathcin Querín.  He rushed towards the slow moving party and hastily pulled back the covering from her face.  The sight nearly caused the poor elf to vomit in disgust.  Large green patches like bruises covered her smooth skin with grass like tendrils extending from them.  Cár'ámn turned his face away from the site and returned the cloth over her face.  His beloved had fallen victim to Sickle's Touch or Green Death as it is sometimes called.

    A few days later, the mother of Avathcin Querín called on the Cár'ámn.  She knew that he was hurting deeply over the loss of her daughter though publicly the warrior put on a brave face.  She knew that underneath his calm exterior the heart of Cár'ámn was broken. He greeted her and allowed her into his home.  She walked the short distance across the well-kept floor and sat in one of two chairs that occupied the room.  On the wooden table that lay between them were a locket that the elfess recognized as the one her daughter had given him just a few days before she fell ill and a pair of golden hair combs embellished with enameled images of Urban tree leaves as they begin to turn for the fall.  She picked up the combs and caressed them gently with her delicate fingers admiring the fine workmanship they embodied.

    “The combs are beautify my son,” she said, “but where did you get them?”

    “They belonged to my mother,” he replied as he took the seat across from her, “I was planning to give them to Avathcin as a wedding present.”

    Not long after their discussion, bother of Avathcin Querín’s parents fell victim to the Green death, as did others around him.  The warrior felt hopeless as those he was close to began perishing without him being able to do anything about it.  Finally, Eayá'pherán the one he had always counted on and looked up to as a father fell to the ruthless killer.

    Shortly after this, the he was advanced to Pharanhé-króin or Traveling warrior.  The Avár'Soórn felt that some time away might, “do the lad good,” as he put it and hastened the young warrior in leaving the green forest he had grown up in.  Cár'ámn decided that a change in surroundings might help him clear his thoughts and agreed to leave but knew in his hart that it would be a long time before he would return.

    Heading southward, the young warrior ventured across the Tolonian Heath and then into the Sharadon Forest.  He followed the western cost line where he crossed the Narfost plain and then found the exciting city of Uderza.

    The city was a strange and to the young tree dwelling warrior strange.  The buildings were so different than anything he had ever seen and the dress of many of those within the walls was quite different than anything the young traveler had seen.  Cár'ámn marveled at the beautiful blue tiles and the rounded buildings.  The attire was far different as well with many wearing blue rather than the greens and browns of his people.  On their head were turbans; a head covering he had never seen before but was sure came in handy in the heat of the day.  He looked down the many streets at the shops that sold many strange and wonderful items.  The warrior even stopped to admire some of the fine "Ouán" pottery.  While he was browsing among the shops, a tall man approached him.  His shoulders broad and covered with mail made from chain.  Under the chain was a loose fitting tunic made from a silvery material the warrior had never seen before.  A sword hung from the human’s side attached to a broad belt made from the same material as the tunic.  His breeches were also of this material as were the boots he wore.  Interwoven in the blue turban the man wore were pieces of this same material.

    “First time to Uderza friend,” the man asked in is big, booming voice.

    “Yes sir,” was the response the elven warrior offered turning his attention to the tall man.

    “I thought as much,” the human said, “we don’t see many elves in these parts.”

    As they began to talk, a group of about five men rushed into the open-air shop and began grabbing the merchandise.  They looked out of place by there clothing compared to the turbans worn by the inhabitants of the city.  The human began to shout at the men and try to round them up but without much success.  He waved his sword and barked orders but to no avail.  Realizing the situation Cár'ámn placed himself in the middle of the narrow street the thieves were trying to escape down.  The warrior shifted his weight in time with the mans movements preventing his progress.  The man became angry and threw a pitcher at the elf only to miss badly and break the vessel against a clay wall.  The man took a bottle that was in his had and broke it against the wall wielding the now make shift weapon.  He cursed at the elf then took a swing at the elf.

    Cár'ámn grasped the arm containing the weapon with his right hand and pulled the limb across his mid section.  He grasped the mans upper arm with his left and quickly pushed down until it contacted his right knee that he had risen from the floor.  The man yelled in pain, dropped the shattered pottery.  The warrior took his left hand and pulled it back striking the man’s face with his closed fist.  As the man went limp, the elf let his form crumple in a heap at his feet.  Another man approached the warrior quickly, intent on doing him harm for preventing his exit.  The elf met the assailant with a quick jab to his ribs.  Reeling in pain, the human bent clutching his injured side.  Then the warriors right knee impacted the man’s downward turn face.

    “Good work,” the Shendar warrior said with a smile, “you can take care of yourself better than I thought.”

    The tall human attempted to pat the elf on the back only to miss and accidentally struck the back of his head where the injury had been.  Cár'ámn fell unconscious to the ground much to the surprise of the Shendar.  Thus, Kindo met the elven warrior in the fellowship of combat.  The human invited Cár'ámn to spend some time with his family so the Tethinrhim agreed.  The human warrior shared with Cár'ámn about the plants and animals that lived in the desert, about the customs of his people and even helped the elf learn more about his sword and dagger.

    One day as the elven warrior stood looking into the desert and heard some children playing.  When he glanced over at them, he saw the sand move behind them.  He remembered what Kindo had said about the Ráhaz'Estár, the giant rock snake and readied his bow.  He shot an arrow into the movement and began to run towards the children.  He could see that the beast was rising up, his arrow imbedded deep in its side near the head.

    “Unán,” the warrior said before he realized they could not understand his native tongue.

    The older girl ran back towards the city but the boy remained frozen with fear.  Stopping again he let another volley of arrows fly towards the creature then dropped his bow running for all he was worth towards the child.  As the giant serpent prepared to strike, Cár'ámn grabbed the girl about the waist and pulled her away.  The giant head plummeted towards the sand only to find his target had moved.  The warrior stood in front of the child and withdrew his shamshir slashing at the underbelly of the giant beast.

    “Run,” he yelled hoping the boy would respond and do as her companion had done but he could not, he dared not turn to make sure.

    Sensing the serpent’s next strike the warrior lunged forward plunging his weapon into beast.  It hissed and made a squeal like nose as the warrior rolled out of the way leaving his sword imbedded in the creature.  The only weapon he had left was his dagger and he unsheathed it quickly as the giant rock snake turned to attack him again. Cár'ámn leaped onto the massive body of the creature and stabbed with all his might into the upper side of the serpent’s scaly body.  With one last Munising hiss the creature plunged its massive head towards him, its eyes then glazed in the grip of death.

    Although Cár'ámn did not know at the time, the children were the niece and nephew of Kindo his Shendar friend.  His actions further solidified their friendship and won the minds and hearts of the nomadic family.

    It has been some time since this incidence but from time to time the elven warrior has returned to his friend’s family and they have always accepted him with open arms.  The warrior has determined that he may never return to his ancestral home.  He feels that he must discover who he is and his purpose within The Dream before he does.


    Belongings:
    Recurve bow:
         Drawlength: 2 fores, 5 nailsbreadths
         Drawweight: 50 od
         Tillering: The bow is constructed of black birch.  It is of excellent craftsmanship but not ornately decorated.
         Length: 1 Ped, 2 Palmspans, 2 nailbreadths
    Arrows: 12
         Arrow-head: 10 sharpened, 2 blunt
         Length: 2 fores, 7 nailsbreadths
         Flight: 3 about 6 nailsbreadths each
         Tip: 10 steel, 2 brass

    Dagger: The handle, hilt and blade are forged as a solid piece.  At the pummel is the head of a bird.  The eyes are fashioned from a pair of rubies set in the finely crafted steel.  It was the weapon of his father and as such hold great sentiamental value.
         Handle Length: 14.0 nailsbreadths
         Blade Width: 2.5 nailsbreadhts
         Blade Length: 21 nailsbreadths
         Total Length: 1 fore, 2 nailsbreadths and 1 grain

    Shamshir: The handle, hilt and blade are comprised of a single piece of steel. The blade is thinner than a scimitar and lightweight.  The handle is wrapped in a deep Sognasthos colored leather.  The pommel is shaped like a leaf from the Urban tree.
         Handle Length: 19 nailsbreadths
         Blade Width: 4 nailsbreadhts
         Blade Length: 77 nailsbreadths
         Total Length: 101 nailsbreadsh

    Quiver:  Made a dark brown leather it holds 15 arrows.

    Cloak: this outer garment is constructed of dark green cotton fabric.  It contains a slit on each side of the opening where the fabric may overlap.  This allows him to wear the cloak and still uses his arms.  There are also two large inner pockets, one on each side of the front opening.

    Breeches: These are made from a green cotton fabric and ties about the waist.  To allow him movement they flare out form the waist slightly.

    Tunic: This traditional tunic is made from a cotton that has been died a light brown color.

    Tunic armor: Cár'ámn possesses a deer skin leather tunic that is slit along the sides and hangs down from the shoulder in the front and back to cover most of his thighs.  It is fastened about his waist by a belt.  Portions of the garment such as the shoulders and forearms are padded to provide a little more protection.

    Leggings: Made from deer Hides, this leg armor covers from just below his knees and the majority of his upper legs. 

    Leather gloves: Cár’ámn Glasajcín posses the traditional leather gloves made from deer hides.

    Boots: These soft boots leather are a dark eophran color.  They allow him to move quickly and securely among the treetops.

    Belt: The belt is made from the hide of a baneg cow.  His dagger hangs from this belt along with his coin purse and other pouches.

    Coin Purse: Small blue fabric purse designed for holding coins.
    Small sacks: All are shades of blue.  One hold the hair combs he still possesses, another holds steel arrowheads.  The rest hold various things he might need to carry.

    Hair Combs: These golden combs once belonged to his mother.  The are enameled with the fall leaves of the Urban tree.

    Locket:  The hair belonging to his diseased beloved elfess is held with this gold locket.  The front is etched with the image of the "Tear of Avá."[/list]
    « Last Edit: June 16, 2008, 09:27:05 AM by Twén Aråerwén » Logged
    Cár'ámn Glasajcín
    Raín Glasajís
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    Elf, Tethinrhim


    « Reply #1 on: April 24, 2008, 06:12:10 AM »

    Hi everyone

    I thought I might post it for you to view and edit even if it is not quite finished.  It may save me a great deal of work later.

    Thanks
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    Eléyr Fásamár
    Serenity's Embodiment
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    Elf ~ Kaýrrhem


    « Reply #2 on: April 24, 2008, 06:18:19 AM »

    Don't forget the posticon! Since you said you weren't finished, you can put up the pencil to let the mods know that. Then when you are all finished writing, feel free to change it to the exclamtion mark.  :)
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    Those who say only Insanity can bring true relaxation...
    Have clearly never hired a Mindsmoother!

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    Cár'ámn Glasajcín
    Raín Glasajís
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    Elf, Tethinrhim


    « Reply #3 on: April 24, 2008, 06:31:51 AM »

    Oh thanks

    I think eventually I'll get the hang of this.

    sorry fish
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    Azhira Styralias
    Shamaness
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    Half-elf, Aellenrhim/ Erpheronian


    « Reply #4 on: April 24, 2008, 11:34:18 AM »

    I just wanted to say that your CD is really coming along well, Glasaj! Although, the level of detail is probably a bit much (do we really need to know the thickness of your arrows?  :D). Nevertheless, it is quite obvious you've done your research. I look forward to reading more.  ;)

    A small side comment - your Strengths and Weaknesses are probably too many. We ask for at least four minimum and they have to be explained in two to three sentences. You can probably reduce that list to a few general ones such as the scarring. Also, from the looks of it, you have a great many strengths that would probably not be feasible such as your many weapons specialties. I would find a way to reduce those as no one could possibly so proficient in so many things.

    Anyway, finish the CD and you'll get more detailed comments.  :)
    « Last Edit: April 24, 2008, 11:34:40 AM by Azhira » Logged

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    « Reply #5 on: April 24, 2008, 03:46:47 PM »

    Azhira, you can have pretty much as many strengths and weaknesses as you like, so long as they're explained in two or three sentences... And so long as they're balanced, of course :)
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    Cár'ámn Glasajcín
    Raín Glasajís
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    Elf, Tethinrhim


    « Reply #6 on: April 24, 2008, 09:40:23 PM »

    Thanks everyone for your comments.

    Ok, I will take it a little easy on the details.  I simply followed what was given in the weapons description and perhaps it was a bit much. :P

    I know it seems as though I have many weapons but if I am reading this tribe description correctly I should have 5, I currently have three.  As a n elven warrior I think there should be at least two weapons, a missile weapon like a bow and something for closer such as a sword.

    As for the strengths and weaknesses I think there may be too many.  I will take a closer look and see what can be done.  The facial scar for instance. though identifying and perhaps embarrassing is perhaps too week on its own and could be put with the scar on his hand which is more serious.

    Thanks again for your excellent comments.

    « Last Edit: April 24, 2008, 09:40:51 PM by Glásáj Cár'ámn » Logged
    Cár'ámn Glasajcín
    Raín Glasajís
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    Elf, Tethinrhim


    « Reply #7 on: May 07, 2008, 08:38:39 AM »

    Hi

    I am bumping this up so i can find it easier to work on.

    As you can see I have changed the CD much and hope it meets with your approval.

    Thanks
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    Santhos Avathcin
    Guardian of the Shady Grove
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    Half-Elf, Allenrhim/ Centoraurian


    « Reply #8 on: May 08, 2008, 06:32:17 AM »

    In a word
    Wow
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    Santhos Avathcin
    Eléyr Fásamár
    Serenity's Embodiment
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    Elf ~ Kaýrrhem


    « Reply #9 on: May 08, 2008, 06:43:15 AM »

    Regarding the weapons~

    Tribe entries can be a bit... inaccurate due to being old and a bit... overpowered. Though your tribe might say you can be a master of five weapons, that's a bit much, if you see what I'm saying. I know you dropped it down to three, but you can't be a master in all of them. You can have excellence in a single weapon and be mediocre at most with the other two.
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    Eléyr's CD ~¤•¤~ Character Creation ~¤•¤~ Restrictions ~¤•¤~ CD Etiquette
    Twén Aråerwén
    Death's Mistress
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    Elf, Ifer’hém


    « Reply #10 on: May 08, 2008, 06:58:02 AM »

    It is possible for characters to master more than a single weapon and it is near the age of 34 that it is considered possible for a human to achieve this. To master two weapons for this character this is what the elven age calculator states.

    Your elf is 100% Tethinrhim, and will live a maximum of 700 years.

    Your elf looks like a human about 27 years old, has the aproximate  knowledge & training of a 34 year old human, and is 266 years old.

    There are variables between what is written in entries and what is permitted on the RP boards. The entries are written for a world project but limitations have to be placed on what aspects can be applied in an RP environment. ALL entries are written with no concern for game balance, they are written for a project completely outside of the RP aspects and the development team merely allows us to use their information. Hence Eleyr's statements above are accurate, although a bit lacking in the whys.
    Logged

    •º•The spell fell upon the crowd like a dragon, •º•
    •º•ancient and full of death.•º•
    _.·´¯) Twén Aråerwén's CD(¯`·._
    Cár'ámn Glasajcín
    Raín Glasajís
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    Elf, Tethinrhim


    « Reply #11 on: May 08, 2008, 09:08:11 AM »

    Thanks for your input Eléyr Fásamár and Twén Aråerwén

    Oh my! I certainly was not trying to create some type of ultra powerful CD.  What I wanted is for him to have at least some ability in the areas listed as strengths to be what, at least I have perceived to be, a ranger.  I am certainly willing to downgrade Cár'ámn. 

    Right now he seems like a psychopathic nut on the loose with revenge forced to be an elf in humans clothing. LOL I think I will be revisiting that, it seem far too unlikely to me and makes the Villon far too powerful.

    I was intending for Glásáj Cár'ámn to proficient as an Archer but not so much with the the scourge or the dagger.  I was under the impression that if I wished to use them at all I had to list them as a skill and give a weakness to counter balance them.

    Is this to say that he could use them but not be so sufficient in them as to say he is proficient and leave out these two a strengths or do I just say in the strengths section he is ok with them and leave the weaknesses?

    Perhaps you can clarify then for me how I am to use the tribe descriptions.  Should I change his tribe because it is far too vague or just create some sort of singable compromise from what is presented?

    Thanks again for all your help.

    Oh and Santhos thanks for the encouragement.  grin  I need all I can get seeing it seems I need to keep rewriting so much of this.

    Logged
    Cár'ámn Glasajcín
    Raín Glasajís
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    Elf, Tethinrhim


    « Reply #12 on: May 08, 2008, 10:41:11 PM »

    Well ok

    I have toned down my abilities, I hope that is what you wished me to do.

    Now he only has some knowledge of how to use the scourge and the dagger, not a skill like he has with the bow.

    I also decided to give greater detail as to why his adversaries are so strong.  I hope this helps, if not I will modify further.

    Thanks again for your assistance.
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    Cár'ámn Glasajcín
    Raín Glasajís
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    Elf, Tethinrhim


    « Reply #13 on: May 09, 2008, 04:36:45 AM »

    Finally I have completed the CD Pet Rolling

    Your comments are welcome and appreciated.

    I do hope I addressed all the issue I needed to.  fish
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    Sir Ruil Mallister
    Valor Conquers
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    Human, Erpheronian


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    « Reply #14 on: May 12, 2008, 03:22:45 AM »

    Alrighty. I'm not a CD Mod nor am I a Mini-Mod (anymore), but I also had to go through a lengthy acceptance process.  So hopefully you'll hear me out ^^

    First thing I noticed was that you used the spell checker.  This, of course, gets you bonus points.  However, the spell checker cannot tell the difference between what you did or did not intend to spell.  Several times I see the word "since" when you clearly were intending "sense".  Little errors like that are littering your CD, so I suggest giving your entire CD a good read through to catch these mistakes.  It will help the quality of your entry immensely.

    Your recurve bow has an enormous draw strength on it.  95 ods puts it at over 100 pounds, and there are many 6 foot tall longbows that did not have such a draw strength on it.  With arrows less than 2.5 feet in length, it sounds like your bow is roughly 4 feet in length, correct?  I would imagine a 50 or 60 pound draw strength to be more likely.  Maybe even 75 pounds, but that's pushing longbow strength.  So 45 to 68 ods should be good.

    On your scourge's notes, it doesn't really make sense.  A scourge is not used like Indiana Jones uses his whip.  Instead it is a multi-tailed punishing device designed for severe pain and tissue damage.  With the construction of this weapon, I highly doubt it could be used the way you mention.  Entangling the opponent is the *worst* thing that could happen with such a weapon.  Also, disarming the opponent would be difficult at best to do with the scourge.  I suggest doing some historical research on this exotic weapon so you have an idea of how Glasaj might actually wield it.

    This is a good start, though incredibly long.  The downside to that is you have to make sure everything is correct, lol.  I haven't read it all, so this is not an all-inclusive list.  So hopefully one of the Mods will give you a full check soon!  Good luck to you!
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