* 
Welcome Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?


*
gfxgfx Home Forum Help Search Calendar Login Register   gfxgfx
gfx gfx
gfx
Embed Maximize


Newbies, read these!

Character Creation
FAQs
Restrictions

Main Site
Portraits
Rules
Story Creation
Racial Crossbreeding
Magic

Contact
Tips and Tricks
IRC Chat
Measures Converter
Elven Aging Calculator
Pages: [1] 2   Go Down
Print
Author Topic: Belyan Cuivizanel, Eophyrhim/Kuglimz-Helvet'ine, Forlorn Lady  (Read 6376 times)
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
Belyan Cuivizanel
Forlorn Lady Commenter
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Posts: 163


Half-Elf, Eophyrhim/ Kuglimz


« on: June 13, 2008, 09:43:22 AM »

Name: Belyan Cuivizanel
Gender:  Female
Age: 71 (Looks like 40)

Race: Half-Elf
Tribe: Eophyrhim; Kuglimz Helvet’ine

Occupation:
As a retired business-woman, Belyan does not pursue an occupation anymore. Rather, her son, who now runs her successful weaving mill, sends her a decent amount of money every month.

Title: Forlorn Lady

Height: 1 Ped, 2 Fores, 1 Palmspan, 3 Nailsbreadths, 2 Grains

Weight: 1 Pygge, 3 Hebs (At least that’s what she claims)

Hair: Eophram Brown with one strand of Lyth’be Pollen

Eyes: (Unpleasantly) large charcoal pupils in dark green eyes

Physical Appearance:
On the first glance, Belyan looks like an average, middle-aged human woman of 40 years. Her long, dark (eophram) brown hair is usually tied in a ponytail and covers her slightly pointed ears. Hear dark eyes are clearly a heritage of her father, since her pupils are a little bit too big, making housewives uncomfortable to look at her for too long, and thus giving them a welcome excuse to admire her thick light blonde strain of hair which starts at the right side of her forehead and disappears in her long ponytail.

On the second glance, however, her light skin appears to be too flawless for a 40 year-old woman and she also hardly has any crinkles. In one word: She looks good, although her high cheekbones, her even, long and pointy nose, her thin, almost indiscernible lips and thick eyebrows create some sort of “obstacle” for men her age to approach her – which she is sometimes disappointed about.

Clothing:
Her slim, well-trained body is usually hidden under wide, elegant clothes. She prefers dark colours with dim natural patterns such as leafs, trees or roots. This continues in her jewellery: A large, silver leaf-shaped necklace which is long enough attract attention to her voluptuous décolleté, and a number of various – mostly wooden and silver – bracelets. The most striking piece of clothing is her wide heavy coat which she also wears when it is too warm for such a garment. However, when she moves, hushed jingly and rattling sounds emerge from the depths of her coat. Or maybe they come from the large black leather-bag she never would separate herself from.

Although her coat and bag are perennial companions, she often changes her clothes. In fact, she is hardly seen in the same ensemble twice. All her cloths are rather elegant and dark (mostly black and dark-red) and made of finest cloth, leather and fur. Generally spoken, her clothing reflects somehow her noble upbringing, and she’s never lost her extravagant taste, even as she lived with her foster family. Since they were rather rarely able to afford her taste, she started at young age to sew her own dresses and coats (see history).

Weapons:
Belyan is not a fighter. She utterly dislikes any kind of violence – she rather “has” others (such as Orin, who usually accompanies her) to take care of her. However, she hides a couple of sharp metal daggers in her left sleeve. One can never know, can one?

History:
To understand Belyan’s character, one has to look at her past, particularly at the time before she was born. Her mother, Yelvin Baltas’sar was the beautiful and gracious daughter of a wealthy merchant in Lu’Weilima who mainly traded with dye made out of Alth’tiert plants. Since being a little girl, Yelvin always was besotted with everything herbal, and soon coaxed her father to allow her to accompany his servants and employees to collect Alth’tiert and over the years, she developed a genuine love for everything herbal in general and forests in particular.

It happens that the Baltas’sars were good and old trading partners with an aristocratic family in Carmalad, the Erpheronian Lords of the House Meron, who balanced their decreasing inherited wealth with a flourishing cross-border trade with various goods. As an honour to the extraordinary and mutually loyal relationship with the Baltas’sars, Lord Dekron Oakenshield of House Meron, sent his second son, Bregin Oakenshield, to honour the fiftieth anniversary of their families’ relations. 

On this occasion Lord Bregin Oakenshield of House Meron immediately and irresistibly fell in love with Yergan Baltas’sars youngest daughter Yelvin, a dark-haired beauty of fourteen years. The very moment she showed him her dearest smile, armor’s arrow had hit the mark of the twenty-four year-old handsome bachelor and it was arranged that she would marry him as soon as she reached the age of sixteen, given – of course – that she agreed. But let’s face it: She was a beautiful girl, he a handsome noble from far away – and she loved her tales. Two infinitely long years later a grandiose ceremony sealed their matrimony in the halls of the House Meron.

As great their love was, as was it unfruitful and when Lord Bregin Oakenshield turned 35, they both had to accept that their love would be caged in their marriage. While the Lord then immersed himself into his business affairs, causing their already impressive wealth to increase considerably, Yelvin attended even more to her love to plants and travelled Enthronia to visit as many forests as possible – they were so different from the ones in her home and so exciting.

Eventually, she reached the borders of the Paelelon Forest. Despite her maiden’s expressed warnings and the sheer panic in her voice, she wanted to at least keep some leafs of the Paelelon trees. Needless to say that she failed. The very second she touched the soil of Paelelon, a dreadfully swift Darkelf emerged from the darks of the forest and before she was aware of the situation, Yelvin found her self lying on a high branch deep in the forest, feeling the sharp blade of an awfully staring Elf at her very throat. Long story cut short, because of her beauty the Elf did not kill her but raped her uncounted times before he lost interest in her and threw her out of the forest, where a group of her family’s servants eventually found her semi-conscious.

After she had recovered, Yelvin soon found out she was pregnant – more to the horror of her husband than herself. Hence, there were friendlier worlds a newborn could enter into than Belyan’s. Her slightly pointy ears left no doubt about her heritage, and it was decided to raise her in isolation and in the meantime look for a suitable foster family – a truly aristocratic move. Belyan only has vague memories of her true mother since she was mostly raised by Rina’s grandmother, Tanya, and educated by various teachers – she was after all a noble. She was already 11 as one could finally find her a foster family, the Medocs, modest Erpheronian scholars and craftsmen living in a village near Cavthan.

Admittedly, she was not exactly her foster family’s little sunshine. Having been brought up as a noble, she hardly accustomed herself to the low living standard of the Medocs, particularly since she did have to sleep in the same room with her three brothers! More exacerbating was the fact that she was a rather “ritual” person: She needed (and still needs) certain circumstances to fall asleep: She must hear the first tweets of the birds and gets up an hour before noon. This however, was almost never possible in her new family. Although she still fell asleep with the first tweets, she was woken up a few hours later – and accordingly in a very bad mood.

As a new member of the Medocs, her foster parents decided, she had to contribute in the sustentation of the whole family. Considering her sublime education in the past she was sent to a girl’s school in Cavthan, where she was not only taught literacy and arithmetic, but also sewing and embroidery. After work then, she helped her foster mother to embroider, sew, and also weave, cloth and clothes which were eventually sold in the weekly market. The driving incentive behind her interest in handcraft, however, was not to help her foster family but to be able to make her own clothes, for she detested the Medoc’s simple clothes: Thus she saved money to purchase expensive cloth out of which she soon made beautiful and extraordinary clothes, mostly dresses.

Her skill did not remain unnoticed by her family and particularly women in the neighbourhood. Soon, Belyan achieved a reputation of a fine dressmaker and started selling her clothes to local women. After a while, she started to make even more exquisite peaces which, however, were beyond the financial possibilities of her customers. She thus soon started to sell her clothes in the weekly up-market in Cavthan, where she soon found a loyal constituency. This significant contribution to her foster family’s income eased things up enormously: She got her own room soon and her brothers and her developed a much better relationship, though still far away from brotherly love.

She lived with her foster family until she married Kelvor Cuizivanel, the widower of one of her best customers. He was her only husband whom she gave birth to her son Kale. After she recovered from her being in the labour, she started again to promenade in the nature and the nearby forest Istarin in particular.

It was during one of these excursions to Istarin when she was attacked by the vagabond – almost four decades ago. She was a young woman then, in her thirties, talented in embroidery and weaving, literate – but not at all a fighter. Hence she ran as fast as she could. She was lucky enough that it was still in the early afternoon and she was still near her husband’s estate and thus several farmers quickly overpowered the somewhat drunken vagabond and assigned him to the custody of the Cavthan militia.

However, this experience shattered her: She became conscious of the fact that she was weak, unable to defend herself. Considering this and the fact that she knew she was a half elven and would thus outlast her husband by many years, she soon decided she wanted to learn some weapon skill. But which one? A woman of her class could impossibly wield a short sword. She chuckled: Lady Belyan Cuivizanel (and from the House of Meron, after all, as Tanya later told her), muscular and rough, swinging a battle axe! She was sure her mother would have loved that! No, it must be a weapon of a more unobtrusive nature. Thus she sent Kelya, daughter of the aged Tanya, and mother of Rina, to conduct some research about a fitting weapon. Kelya did not need long to figure out that daggers would be her mistress’ first choice.

To Belyan’s aging husband’s utmost, and last, outrage, Kelya even appointed a trainer from Cavthan to train Belyan. And Belyan, eager never again to face the indignity of screaming for help, trained regularly any hour she could free herself from her business, raising Kale, and her beloved studying of plants.

After her husband had died and she married her son Kale to a stunning and modest girl who was working in the Cuizivanel weaving mill, she soon decided to leave Kale and Alyssa in charge of the business and purchase a little hut near the forest of Istarin.

Her love to plants and particularly trees the most important reasons why she decided to move to Istarin after her husband’s death almost 25 years ago: Despite her traumatising experience with the vagabond she never lost her love for this particular forest. Here, she also found a rather strange plant with yellow leafs which was somewhat different from all the other plants she ever head seen. Her curiosity, and devotion to all plants, was deepened.

Pertinently, she sent her servant Orin, who, because of his intimidating appearance, many “mistake” as her bodyguard, out to bring her all books about plants and herbs he could find, and especially to ask for books about “unusual” plants. One of these books indeed identified the plant as Zifel, or “Wizard’s Weed”, and she learned that Zifel grows preferably near and Istari as well as another forest, Paelelon. But the authors warned readers not to go and look for Zifel at Paelelon for the forest is inhabited by dangerous Eophyrhim, or Darkelves. The short description of the Eophyrhim was more than enough to catch Belyan’s attention more than any herb could do: She eventually and finally found out about her heritage, her pointy ears and long life, her very personality.

After she told her son he somehow managed to fulfil the miracle to find and send her some books about the Eophyrhim, and even a Styrash-Tharian dictionary, which she considers one of her most esteemed belongings. He also sent her many books about plants and effects of herbs. She committed herself the following two decades almost exclusively the study these books, and particularly the study of plants. Today her knowledge of plants in general and herbs in particular has become unprecedented.

A couple of years ago, she got herself three female Rimrunner Terriers: Masha (black), Tasha (cream) and Sasha (white), over the last years she trained them to smell herbs and retrieve them and developed a rather eccentric relationship to her dogs, or “babies”: She talks to them like they were her children, spoils them a lot and is never seen without them (see below: Familiars).

Her Rimrunners also accompany her when she is on one of her occasional voyages in order to find out more about certain plants, to study books in libraries – or simply just because she decided on some point to leave her hut and meet some august people.

Personality:
As indicated above, Belyan is an intelligent, introverted and slightly eccentric woman. Her genuine arrogance towards anybody else is not even a bit imposed, but rather a result of her lineage and her upbringing. She also is quite self-confident: After all, she set up her own profitable business and managed to marry her admittedly not very attractive son to a beautiful young girl. Since she spent most of her life comfortably, it never came to her mind that her son’s estate may have influenced his wife’s choice.

She does not talk a lot, not because she does not like to talk but rather because she is usually not interested in her interlocutor’s topics. Her language is carefully chosen and sometimes even resembles elocution. She usually thinks carefully before she replies or says anything at all. However, due her life with her foster siblings, she sometimes impresses her environment with a comprehensive range of colourful and not-so-colourful swear words.

Her introspective personality can sometimes turn into its opposite, as if a second Belyan lives under her well-perfumed skin. This can happen, e.g., when she sees trees or plants mistreated, disrespected, rooted out etc. Basically, her personality switches between four characters: the introverted scholar when she spends hours and nights (she prefers to sleep during the day) reading her books, or working on new potions; the unresting searcher when she finds something new about Elves, particularly Darkelves, magic or new plants; the attractively reserved socialite (especially when she looks for a man worth of her love – or rather physical desire), who effortlessly fits into any societal events; occasionally she falls back into her role as the daughter of a duke, particularly during her “special days”: she becomes demanding, pretentious, in one word: obnoxious.

Her eating habits are another area letting her appear rather eccentric: Due to her genuine love to plants, she became some sort of an anti-vegetarian: She thus only eats windfall, carefully reaped leafs and – of course: plenty of meat, milk or fish.

Strengths:
Affinity to plants: Her devotion to anything herbal has bestowed her with a rather supernatural memory of all plants she has ever read about. Thus, she will almost certainly be able to recognize all common and commonly used plants and herbs, as well as the herbs she carries with her. Moreover, before she travels, she would try to find out which herbs grow in an near her destination.

Throwing daggers: After more than three decades of practicing to throw daggers after her first encounter with the vagabond, Belyan has acquired a masterly skill at throwing short, light daggers. She has developed two techniques: With the first, she would just reach in her left sleeve and throw a dagger directly from there. Despite being a quite unexpected attack, the target cannot be more than 4 peds away for this attack to be effective. If she strikes out “normally” she would have a maximum range of around 20 peds.

Keen-eyed: Her Elven heritage and her roaming in forests for hours through the night have made her eyes more than sharp: She can see better than average humans in the dark and can identify the slightest details, which particularly helps her to distinguish herbs. This skill has a positive spill-over effect on her over-all activities…such as throwing daggers.

High adaptability: She hardly forgets anything she has ever read or learned. This skill significantly helped her to quickly advance in her studies, particularly memorizing unfathomable numbers of different plants and herbs. This skill has also impacts on other abilities she has learned…such as throwing daggers.

Handicraft: During her early years with her foster family Belyan has developed considerable skills in weaving and embroidery, although she has hardly done anything since she started to expand her business and took over the management three decades ago.

She can speak, read and write Styrash although she would never show that in public. This skill is reserved when she meets her people.

Wealthy: Her well-going business and her loyal son who never forgets to send her money has made her a somewhat comfortable person. She usually does not have financial problems and is able to purchase whatever she wants.

Rina: Belyans handmaiden is always around her and helps her to minor things such as dressing, shopping, ordering and other organizational issues. However, since Rina is only very limitedly able to read, Belyan has to take care of more demanding issues herself. Rina’s most important task, however, is to be Belyan’s “sensor” (see Weaknesses).

Rimrunners: Her three beloved, and somewhat hyperactive, Rimrunners are also perennial companions of Belyan’s. Although, due to their size, they are not a great help in times of danger, she uses them to find her particular herbs or plants. For this, she holds a sample under their nose.

Weaknesses:
Ritual person: While this may seem to be rather an eccentricity than a weakness, her commitment to certain rituals has significant ramifications on her life: For instance, she can only fall asleep with the first twitter of the birds in a locked room and she has to be woken up exactly one hour before noon. If this does not happen, she either does not sleep at all, becomes obnoxious and unfocussed, or, mostly, both. If the above mentioned nutrition requirements can not be met, the same effects occur. Same is true for unwashed cloths, malodour in general and lack of alcohol (see below) – not to mention her “special days”.

Alcoholic: Although she would never admit, she is an alcoholic par excellence. She needs at least a bottle of her favourite vintage wine before she goes to bed. If she can not drink at all or – even worse – has to drink alcohol which is beneath her, she becomes first obnoxious and then unfocussed. Although she manages to control her drinking habits while she delves herself into her studies (her only superior addiction), and knows exactly how much to drink in order to perform inconspicuously and precise, she sometimes crosses the line. This occasionally, though not often, has a negative spill-over effect on her over-all activities such as weaving, embroidery…or throwing daggers.

Light sensitivity: This Darkelven heritage of hers lets her avoid the sun or other sources of lurid lights whenever she can. Although she awakes one hour before noon, she would never leave the protection of walls before late afternoon unless the weather is overclouded. In lurid light, her keen eyesight decreases significantly and she has severe problems to see remotely. Her umbrella and a dark veil are her only protection during the daylight – particularly onerous in the summer.

Migraine: Once or twice a month, Belyan suffers massive headaches which pin her to her bed, darkness, and maybe a sip or two out of her preferred vintage wine. Although she always carries some pain-killing and relieving herbs and plants, she will never completely free herself from considerable pain.

Low stamina: Although she can wander for hours through forests, she can do so only because she often rests to admire a rare plant or feel a beloved tree. She quickly looses her endurance during long and exhaustive travels, becoming, at the best, obnoxious.

Inattentiveness: Belyan’s most severe weakness, however, is a result of one her biggest virtues. Decades of studying, learning and contemplating have not only made her a (also dagger-throwing) quite successful business woman with a rare knowledge of plants, but have also had sever impacts on her attention: She can only concentrate on one single issue. In minor cases this might mean she might forget that she is not alone and think loudly while she is eating or reading (with uttering rather inadequate things). But this also could mean that she doesn’t see the hole in front of her or the shiny dagger luring out of a strangers coat while thinking about this one plant she can't remember the name of... This weakness is considerably exacerbated when she is too drunk and/or exposed to too much light (see above). However, Rina is always around her and acts as a “sensor” which reminds and warns her in time...sometimes...

Belongings:
A large black leather bag containing a couple of glass repositories with some dried roots or other plants she bought (since she hesitates to gather roots herself, she buys them), her Styrash-Tharian dictionary and at least two other books about plants and their effects. She also owns the following: A sickle, an umbrella, a dark veil, a collection of expensive makeup and perfumes, some silk handkerchiefs, a couple of writing feathers and a small bottle of ink and at least one bottle of her favourite vintage wine.

In her bag, she also keeps her precious jewellery of which she only wears the leaf-shaped silver necklace and her numerous bracelets. However, a woman of her status could impossibly appear on a soirée without at least one diamond ring and an expensive diadem, could she?

In her wide coat she hides a dozen slim, sharp and well-balanced daggers (three of which are always hidden in her left sleeve), a well-filled purse which is occasionally refilled by her son’s messenger, uncounted numbers of loose notes on which she records anything she deems noteworthy, and many repositories containing mostly Miyu Beans for her headaches, Odea Moss or Trinity herbs and a couple of Puliquay.The majority of the other herbs are healing herbs such as Yahrle Canelvous, and Jeshanna Lily which Belyan admittedly predominantly uses to keep her skin moist and well-tended. However, she also carries some Queprur’s Love fungi with her…

Her numerous cloths and shoes are usually carried by either Rina, her regular companion or, since Belyan’s wardrobe is quite opulent, a paid porter.

Familiars:
As indicated above, she got herself three female Rimrunners when they were still puppies: Masha (black), Tasha (cream) and Sasha (white), each now about four palmspans from nose to tail. Belyan successively trained them to smell plants, and particularly pay attention to “certain” herbs: Masha for the R’unorian Rose, Tasha for Wizardleaf, and Sasha to find her Zifel.

During their training Belyan paid particular attention that her dogs only retrieve her the strongest leafs, which would not kill the plant when ripped out. Most importantly, her dogs would never touch one the magical plants (even if they did sometimes with rather “remarkable” effects) but only start barking whenever they sniff one. For the other plants, she has to let them smell a sample of the plant or herb and then either give the command “bring!” or just say “go!”. The latter command just makes her dogs to sniff around and run to the herb and start barking.

Rina:
Belyan’s maiden Rina is an average-looking 17-year-old Erpheronian girl of one peds and two fores with dark hair and a slim body. Since she is Belyan’s handmaiden she is usually well dressed. Her grandmother, Tanya, was Belyan’s nanny and her mother’s maiden. After Yelvin died, Tanya moved together with her husband Cal and their little daughter Kelya to the Cuivizanels to whom she offered her services. When Kelya was old enough, she stepped in her mother’s role and became Belyan’s maiden. Belyan and Kelya had a special relationship since Belyan knew her since she was almost still a newborn and loved her as a little sister. Thus, when Kelya gave birth to her second child, Rina, it was not a surprise which career the little girl would pursue.

When Belyan moved to the frontiers of Istarin, Kelya, due to her advanced age, preferred to stay with Kale and his family and Rina moved in with her, together with Orin, Belyan’s servant/bodyguard. When she is in transit, Rina would always follow her mistress and make sure that she wants for nothing. Needless to say that Belyan loves Rina unconditionally: Although the poor girl has sometimes to bear Belyan’s eccentric behaviour and fulfill orders she not always understands, Rina has a good life – better, in fact, than many others in her position. Belyan would always make sure that Rina, too, wants for nothing.

Rina is basically literate, just enough to purchase simple products, and has few talents. She is a loyal girl and loves Belyan.

« Last Edit: June 29, 2008, 11:17:30 PM by Kalína Mërénwèn » Logged

"I'm so tired! Rina, would you pass me a glass of wine, darling?"
Belyan Cuivizanel
Rookie Brownbark
Skydiver
Mini-mod
***
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 1686


Brownie, Llaoihrr


« Reply #1 on: June 14, 2008, 02:12:01 AM »

I'm really sorry Beylan, but Life Magic is not playable at the moment as we have yet to work out how it works exactly :P.
Logged

Belyan Cuivizanel
Forlorn Lady Commenter
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Posts: 163


Half-Elf, Eophyrhim/ Kuglimz


« Reply #2 on: June 14, 2008, 02:42:06 AM »

Alright Rookie, don't worry. I'll change her magical ability this weekend. Any idea how she could keep this detection abilities?
Logged

"I'm so tired! Rina, would you pass me a glass of wine, darling?"
Belyan Cuivizanel
Rookie Brownbark
Skydiver
Mini-mod
***
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 1686


Brownie, Llaoihrr


« Reply #3 on: June 14, 2008, 02:58:24 AM »

Um, no, I don't think it's possible to simply sense which plants are around her.  But she could learn the hard way - just by memorising loads of plants and studying them and where they grow.  Smell could help too, you could give her a good sense of smell?  Or give her a dog which has been trained to sniff out certain herbs?
Logged

Belyan Cuivizanel
Forlorn Lady Commenter
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Posts: 163


Half-Elf, Eophyrhim/ Kuglimz


« Reply #4 on: June 15, 2008, 07:11:08 AM »

Thanks alot, Rookie, the idea with the dog(s) is brilliant. I changed it now and hope that she's fine now.
Logged

"I'm so tired! Rina, would you pass me a glass of wine, darling?"
Belyan Cuivizanel
Eléyr Fásamár
Serenity's Embodiment
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 2109


Elf ~ Kaýrrhem


« Reply #5 on: June 15, 2008, 10:24:53 PM »

Hey Belyan, I think your ready for an approval, but in the mean time here's a few mild grammar errors~

Quote
Hear<--Her dark eyes are clearly a heritage of her father, since her pupils are a little bit too big, making housewives uncomfortable to look at her for too long, and thus giving them a welcome excuse to admire her thick light blonde strain of hair which starts at the right side of her forehead and disappears in her long ponytail.

Quote
Her genuine arrogance towards anybody else is not even a bit imposed but rather a result of her genes and her upbringing.

The word 'genes' should probably be replaced with 'lineage' or 'ancestry,' as genes is rather scientific.

Quote
However, due to her life with her foster siblings, she sometimes impresses her environment with a comprehensive range of colourful and not-so-colourful swear words.

Quote
This skill has also impacts on other abilities she has learned, such as mixing potions, weaving, embroidery…and throwing daggers.

Umhum. It looks good. I think I know who you are, and I've already given your other character lavish compliments. ~wanders off to pester a mod~

~Good Luck!~ Eléyr Fásamár
« Last Edit: June 15, 2008, 10:27:14 PM by Eléyr Fásamár » Logged

Those who say only Insanity can bring true relaxation...
Have clearly never hired a Mindsmoother!

Eléyr's CD ~¤•¤~ Character Creation ~¤•¤~ Restrictions ~¤•¤~ CD Etiquette
Belyan Cuivizanel
Forlorn Lady Commenter
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Posts: 163


Half-Elf, Eophyrhim/ Kuglimz


« Reply #6 on: June 15, 2008, 10:57:46 PM »

Thanks a lot Eléyr for your comments! I changed all the grammar errors. And it's my first time here on Santharia and Belyan is actually my first-ever online RPG character.

Belyan
Logged

"I'm so tired! Rina, would you pass me a glass of wine, darling?"
Belyan Cuivizanel
Azhira Styralias
Shamaness
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 1176


Half-elf, Aellenrhim/ Erpheronian


« Reply #7 on: June 16, 2008, 09:25:46 PM »

Hi Belyan! Welcome to Santharia. I am Azhira and shall bestow upon you some comments.  ;)

 - You mention magic skill in your Occupation overview, but I can see you removed at Rookie's suggestion. You may need to edit that.

 - You also mention some skill with throwing daggers? You don't mention how you learned to do that in your history and don't have it listed as a Strength. You'll want to do both of those things.

 - I would like to know how your mother, of the Kuglimz-Fal’cone tribe, happened to live so far south in Carmalad? Perhaps some history on why a Kuglimz-Fal’cone would migrate to Enthronia. I ask because you mention very little of the Kuglimz influence in your history. To me, if you choose a bi-racial character, then both sides of the family line should be mentioned. You did a good job with the elven side.

 - I was also confused as to your occupation - are you an alchemist or an herbalist? They are both different occupations and require different training. You mention plant skills and also the ability to make potions.

Overall, a good CD!  Thumb up
Logged

"Be still and I shall calm your mind and mend your broken body."
Belyan Cuivizanel
Forlorn Lady Commenter
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Posts: 163


Half-Elf, Eophyrhim/ Kuglimz


« Reply #8 on: June 17, 2008, 08:16:52 AM »

Hi Azhira, thanks a lot, I wish I'd found out earlier about Santharia :)

Thanks also for your comments, I amended your suggestions and highlighted them in red....This way you don't have to work through the whole text again  Roll Eyes

As you - or other mods and minimods - will see, I've also added a "Familiar" section where I described Belyan's dogs in more details, as well as the section "Rina". Rina is her maiden, the granddaughter of her nanny and thus will accompany Belyan whenever she can. I hope this brief description of hers is sufficient since her role in the game will be very marginal. However, if you wish you'll get a full CD for her as well (This sounds kinda like a threat, doesn't it? ;))

I have another question regarding money. What do things cost in Santharia? Belyan is wealthy, so how much money should she carry around? It would be enough to know how much, e.g., a trip with a carriage or a room in an upper-class inn would cost. Maybe it's ok just to know she's affluent and can afford most things and I do not need to specify particular amounts....I promise I will not go with her on a diamond-mithril-jewellery shopping trip :)

Alas!
Belyan
« Last Edit: June 17, 2008, 08:24:08 AM by Belyan Cuivizanel » Logged

"I'm so tired! Rina, would you pass me a glass of wine, darling?"
Belyan Cuivizanel
Eléyr Fásamár
Serenity's Embodiment
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 2109


Elf ~ Kaýrrhem


« Reply #9 on: June 17, 2008, 10:03:12 AM »

The description of your handmaiden is sufficient, Belyan, as there is another character, my personal favorite of all time, who too is accompanied by a caretaker, and also described her in a paragraph or two.

Regarding money, I also have an exceedingly wealthy character, so I basically assume that I have enough money to buy most things I desire. The aforementioned heiress, who also has a handmaiden, carries around multiple goldbards, as does my character. Generally, I use the phrase 'dropped a few coins into the barkeep's hands,' so I don't believe it is necessary to specify amounts. Also, the Dev. Board had an old colaborative project on costs of various items, though it never came to light. You can see the unfinished topic, here, for more information regarding prices. Only a few items actually have prices listed next to them, but theses should give you a general idea for everything else.

If you are truly wealthy in a medieval world, there's really nothing you can't afford, so there won't likely be problems with you overspending. Most of our story-mods have the sense to stop any mithril shopping that goes on in their stories, so that shouldn't be a problem either. LOL
Logged

Those who say only Insanity can bring true relaxation...
Have clearly never hired a Mindsmoother!

Eléyr's CD ~¤•¤~ Character Creation ~¤•¤~ Restrictions ~¤•¤~ CD Etiquette
Belyan Cuivizanel
Forlorn Lady Commenter
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Posts: 163


Half-Elf, Eophyrhim/ Kuglimz


« Reply #10 on: June 17, 2008, 07:05:56 PM »

Excellent, thanks a lot Eléyr. I will have Belyan's handmaiden to also carry an appropriate amount of money and than handle it like you. And Eléyr, can you maybe post me a link to your personal favorite? Sounds too interesting! I hope the rest of Belyan's CD is fine now, either!
Belyan

Logged

"I'm so tired! Rina, would you pass me a glass of wine, darling?"
Belyan Cuivizanel
Simonne Miller
Meddling Herbalist
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 2454


Human, Caltharian


« Reply #11 on: June 17, 2008, 09:21:41 PM »

I suspect that Eleyr was talking about Nelique A'drosa :)
Logged

Youth is a gift of nature, but old age is a work of art
Simonne Miller
Belyan Cuivizanel
Forlorn Lady Commenter
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Posts: 163


Half-Elf, Eophyrhim/ Kuglimz


« Reply #12 on: June 19, 2008, 05:08:35 PM »

Thanks Simonne! I _love_ her history. Brilliant.
Logged

"I'm so tired! Rina, would you pass me a glass of wine, darling?"
Belyan Cuivizanel
Simonne Miller
Meddling Herbalist
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 2454


Human, Caltharian


« Reply #13 on: June 20, 2008, 10:31:07 PM »

Ok, let me see if I can't get another CD checked today :)

Name: Belyan Cuivizanel
Gender: Female
Age: 71 (Looks like 40)

Race: Half-Elf
Tribe: Eophyrhim; Kuglimz Helvet’ine
Title: Forlorn Lady

Occupation:
Although Belyan was abandoned at a quite “young” age by her aristocratic family, she still has enjoyed a somehow privileged upbringing. Thus she was not used to work when she was brought to her foster family. They, however, taught her to weave and embroider – mostly because they were hardly able to satisfy her exquisite taste in cloths and high quality demands. This bestowed her over the time with a respectable ability to design and sew cloths cloths or clothes? and she soon started to sell them to wealthier families in the vicinity of Cavthan. Her skill was particularly demanded since she is literate and has a beautiful handwriting which she included in her embroideries. Handwriting and embroidering are two quite different things. Embroidered words don't look anything like the handwriting of the person who embroidered them (I can know, my mom used to embroider these small scenes with words above) You might want to reword this a little bit, perhaps say that she can embroider words into the cloth quite beautifully? After she left her foster family to live as the spouse of a widower of one of her best customers near Cavthan, she used her husband’s modest fortune to set up and run her own small weaving mill – her genuine obstinacy prevailed over her conservative husband’s opposition. After he had passed away, she invested her inheritance into the business which soon acquired certain reputation and extended to a size allowing her to successively retreat and leave her only son, Kale, and his talented young wife in charge. She bought herself a modest hut near the forest of Istarin where she lived with her maid Rina and her servant Orin – only interrupted once a month by her son’s messenger, who sends her a small amount of money, some bottles of her favourite vintage wine, or books she’d asked for. Hence, she utterly committed herself to the study of plants (see below) and after a while she developed considerable alchemistical skills – which eventually allowed her to open up a new “constituency”. This passage is pretty long for an occupation. Most of this belongs in the history. All you really needed here was what she actually does for a living. Which reminds me, the last part of your subject line should be her occupation, not her title :)

Height: 1 Ped, 2 Fores, 1 Palmspan, 3 Nailsbreadths, 2 Grains

Weight: 1 Pygge, 3 Hebs (At least that’s what she claims)

Hair: Eophram Brown with one strand of Lyth’be Pollen

Eyes: (Unpleasantly) large charcoal pupils Sure there's still some colour around the pupils?

Physical Appearance:
On the first glance, Belyan looks like an average, middle-aged woman of 40 (human) all years are the same length, wether they pass for humans or for elves. If you really want to include the 'human', I'd say 'a middle-aged human woman of 40' years. Her long, dark (eophram) brown hair is usually plaited to tied in? a ponytail and covers her slightly pointed ears. Her dark eyes are clearly a heritage of her father, since her pupils are a little bit too big, making housewives uncomfortable to look at her for too long, and thus giving them a welcome excuse to admire her thick light blonde strain of hair which starts at the right side of her forehead and disappears in her long ponytail.

On the second glance, however, her light skin appears to be too flawless for a 40 year-old woman and she also hardly has any crinkles. In one word: She looks good, although her high cheekbones, her even, long and pointy nose, her thin, almost indiscernible lips and thick eyebrows create some sort of “obstacle” for men her age to approach her – which she is sometimes disappointed about.

Clothing:
Her slim, well-trained body is usually hidden under wide, elegant clothes. She prefers dark colours with dim natural patterns such as leafs, trees or roots. This continues in her jewellery: A large, sliver silver? leaf-shaped necklace which is long enough attract attention to her voluptuous décolleté, and a number of various – mostly wooden and silver – bracelets. The most striking piece of clothing is her wide heavy coat which she also wears when it is too warm for such a garment. However, when she moves, hushed jingly and rattling sounds emerge from the depths of her coat. Or maybe they come from the large black leather-bag she never would separate herself from.

Although her coat and bag are perennial companions, she often changes her clothes. In fact, she is hardly seen in the same ensemble twice. All her cloths are rather elegant and dark (mostly black and dark-red) and made of finest cloth, leather and fur. Generally spoken, her clothing reflects somehow her noble upbringing, and she never lost her extravagant taste, even as she lived with her foster family. Since they were rather rarely able to afford her taste, she started at young age to sew her own dresses and coats (see: occupation). Just a minor thing, but you seem to mix 'clothes' and 'cloths' a few times. Clothes = pieces of clothing, cloths = pieces of fabric with which clothing can be made.

Weapons:
Belyan is not a fighter. She utterly dislikes any kind of violence – she rather “has” others (such as Orin, who usually accompanies her) to take care of her. However, she hides a couple of sharp metal Salén Pins in her left sleeve. One can never know, can one?

History:
To understand Belyan’s character, one has to look at her past, particularly at the time before she was born. Her mother, Yelvin Baltas’sar was the beautiful and gracious daughter of a wealthy merchant in Lu’Weilima who mainly traded with dye made out of Alth’tiert plants. Thus Yelvin soon accompanied her father’s servants and employees to collect Alth’tiert Why? Very often, these rich merchant types wouldn't let their daughters run amock with their servants, rather keeping them far away from such 'low beings'... and over the years, she developed a genuine love for everything herbal in general and forests in particular.

It happens that the Baltas’sars were good and old trading partners with an aristocratic family in Carmalad, the Erpheronian Lords of the House Meron, who balanced their decreasing inherited wealth with a flourishing cross-border trade with various goods. As an honour to the extraordinary and mutually loyal relationship with the Baltas’sars, Lord Dekron Oakenshield of House Meron, sent his second son, Bregin Oakenshield, to honour the fiftieth anniversary of their families’ relations. 

This was the occasion 'On this occasion' or 'this was the occasion on which Lord Bregin Oakenshield of House Meron immediately and irresistibly fell in love with Yergan Baltas’sars youngest daughter Yelvin, a dark-haired beauty of fourteen years. The very moment she showed him her dearest smile, armor’s arrow had hit the mark of the twenty-four year-old handsome bachelor and it was arranged that she shall would marry him as soon as she reached the age of sixteen, given – of course – she agrees that she agreed. But let’s face it: She was a beautiful girl, he a handsome noble from far far away – and she loved her tales. Two infinitely long years later a grandiose ceremony sealed their matrimony in the halls of the House Meron.

As great their love was, as was it unfruitful and when Lord Bregin Oakenshield turned 35, they both had to accept that their love would be caged in their marriage. While the Lord then immersed himself into his business affairs, causing their already impressive wealth to increase considerably, Yelvin attended even more to her love to plants and travelled Enthronia to visit as many forests as possible – they were so different from the ones in her home and so exciting!

Eventually, she reached the borders of the Paelelon Forest. Despite her maiden’s expressed warnings and the sheer panic in her voice, she wanted to at least keep some leafs of the Paelelon trees. Needless to say that she failed. The very second she touched the soil of Paelelon, a dreadfully swift Darkelf emerged from the darks of the forest and before she was aware of the situation, Yelvin found her self lying on a high branch deep in the forest, feeling the sharp blade of an awfully staring Elf at her very throat. Long story, no comma needed cut short, because of her beauty the Elf did not kill her but raped her uncounted times before he lost interest in her and threw her out of the forest, where a group of her family’s servants eventually found her semi-conscious.

After she had recovered, Yelvin soon found out she was pregnant – more to the horror of her husband than herself. Hence, there were friendlier worlds a newborn cancould have (don't forget that you're talking the past tense ;) enter into than Belyan’s. Her slightly pointy ears left no doubt about her heritage, and it was decided to raise her in isolation and in the meantime look for a suitable foster family – a truly aristocratic move. Belyan only has vague memories of her true mother since she was mostly raised by Rina’s grandmother, Tanya, and educated by various teachers – she was after all a noble – was already 16 as one could finally find her a foster family, modest Erpheronian scholars and craftsmen living in a village near Cavthan. As described above (occupation), she lived with her foster family until she married Kelvor Cuizivanel, her only husband whom she gave birth to her son Kale. After she recovered from her being in the labour, she started again to promenade in the nature and the nearby forest Istarin in particular.

It was during one of these excursions to Istarin when she was attacked by the vagabond – almost four decades ago. She was a young woman then, in her thirties, talented in embroidery and weaving, literate – but not at all a fighter. Hence she ran as fast as she could. She was lucky enough that it was still in the early afternoon and she was still near her husband’s estate and thus several farmers quickly overpowered the somewhat drunken vagabond and assigned him to the custody of the Cavthan militia.

However, this experience shattered her: She became conscious of the fact that she was weak, unable to defend herself. Considering this and the fact that she knew she was a half elven and would thus outlast her husband by many years, she soon decided she wanted to learn some weapon skill. But which one? A woman of her class could impossibly wield a short sword. She chuckled: Lady Belyan Cuivizanel (and from the House of Meron, after all, as Tanya later told her), muscular and rough, swinging a battle axe! She was sure her mother would have loved that! No, it must be a weapon of a more unobtrusive nature. Thus she sent Kelya, daughter of the aged Tanya, and mother of Rina, to conduct some research about a befitting fitting weapon. Kelya did not need long to figure out that Salén Pins would be her mistress’ first choice. How does a human with no weapons training as far as we know, know such a weapon as the salen pins? They're created by an elven warrior, and for humans are considered a waste of time, since they could learn mastery of another weapon in much less time than it takes to train salen pins. I'm just curious how a human would know about them, since according to the entry, really only a handful of people use it as a weapon, and most of those are elves. Wouldn't a dagger be a more logical weapon for Kelya to suggest?

To Belyan’s aging husband’s utmost, and lasting, outrage, Kelya even appointed a trainer from Cavthan to train Belyan. Cavthan is a human city. Like I said, really not many humans use this weapon, and not even many elves do. So it'd be pretty hard to find a trainer, I think. And Belya, eager never again to face the indignity of screaming for help, trained hard and diligently any hour she could free herself from her business, raising Kale, and her beloved studying of plants.

The latter was by the way one of the most important reasons why she decided to move to Istarin after her husband’s death almost 25 years ago: Despite her traumatising experience with the vagabond she never lost her love for this particular forest. Here, she also found a rather strange plant with yellow leafs which was somewhat different from all the other plants she ever head seen. Her curiosity, and devotion to all plants, was deepened.

Pertinently, she sent her servant Orin, who, because of his intimidating appearance, many “mistake” as her bodyguard, out to bring her all books about plants and herbs he could find, and especially to look for books about “unusual” plants. He can read?One of these books indeed identified the plant as Zifel, or “Wizard’s Weed”, and she learned that Zifel grows preferably near and Istari as well as another forest, Paelelon. But the authors warned readers not to go and look for Zifel at Paelelon for the forest is inhabited by dangerous Eophyrhim, or Darkelves. The short description of the Eophyrhim was more than enough to catch Belyan’s attention more than any herb could do: She eventually and finally found out about her heritage, her pointy ears and long live life, her very personality.

After she told her son he somehow managed to fulfil the miracle to find and send her some books about the Eophyrhim, and even a Styrash-Tharian dictionary, which she considers one of her most esteemed belongings. He also sent her a many books about plants and effects of herbs. She committed herself the following two decades almost exclusively the study these books, and particularly the study of plants. Today her knowledge of plants in general and herbs in particular has become unprecedented.

A couple of years ago, she got herself three female Rimrunner Terriers: Masha (black), Tasha (cream) and Sasha (white), over the last years she trained them to smell herbs and retrieve them and developed a rather eccentric relationship to her dogs, or “babies”: She talks to them like they were her children, spoils them a lot and is never seen without them (see below: Familiars). You might want to think of a reason why she would be away from her hut in Istharin, for when you want to join a story. Though that could be as simple as, she's looking for a plant near where the story's taking place ;) Also, I really would advise you to copy everything you explained in occupation to your history instead, so that it's a bit more chronologically logical.

Personality:
As indicated above, Belyan is an intelligent, introverted and slightly eccentric woman. Her genuine arrogance towards anybody else is not even a bit imposed but rather a result of her ancestry and her upbringing. She also is quite self-confident: After all, she set up her own profitable business and managed to marry her admittedly not very attractive son to a beautiful young girl. You might want to mention this in the history as well :) Since she spent most of her life comfortable comfortably, it never came to her mind that her son’s estate may have influenced his wife’s choice.

She does not talk too much, not because she does not like to talk but rather because she is usually not interested in her interlocutor’s topics. However, she can also be very sociable and her language is carefully chosen and sometimes even resembles elocution. She usually thinks carefully before she replies or says anything at all. However, due to her life with her foster siblings, she sometimes impresses her environment with a comprehensive range of colourful and not-so-colourful swear words. I think you should add some more description of the foster family in the history. This passage, while funny, is still kind of a surprise, since we know practically nothing about the foster family, except that they taught Belyan to sew and embroider.

Her introspective personality can sometimes turn into its opposite, as if a second Belyan lives under her well-perfumed skin. This can happen, e.g., when she sees trees or plants mistreated, disrespected, rooted out etc. Basically, her personality switches between four characters: the introverted scholar when she spends hours and nights (she prefers to sleep during the day) reading her books, improving her magical skills magical skills? This is the first I've heard of any magic? or working on new potions; the unresting searcher when she finds something new about Elves, particularly Darkelves, magic or new plants; the attractively reserved socialite (especially when she looks for a man worth of her love – or rather physical desire), who effortlessly fits into any societal events; occasionally she falls back into her role as the daughter of a duke, particularly during her “special days”: she becomes demanding, pretentious, in one word: obnoxious. Her oldest foul-mouthed foster brother would’ve probably described her as a mix of a nerd, a geek, a whore and a middle-aged rich-bitch. Hmm... I'm not sure if a medieval society really knows nerds and geeks, and 'whore' might be a somewhat strong word... We're still PG13 after all.

Her eating habits are another area letting her appear rather eccentric: Due to her genuine love to of plants, she became some sort of an anti-vegetarian: She thus only eats windfall, carefully reaped leafs and – of course: plenty of meat, milk or fish.

Strengths:
Affinity to plants: Her devotion to anything herbal has bestowed her with a rather supernatural memory of all plants she has ever read about. She almost certainly can identify any plant she sees and has precisely memorized their effects. This helps her to mix high quality potions. I think that mixing high quality potions can be considered a strength, with such information as what she does with them, what kind of potions they are, and so on. You might also want to mention in her history how she started mixing potions, because while you can greatly improvise, you do need a solid basis (it's like cooking ;))

Salén Pins: After more than three decades of practicing to throw Salén Pins after her first encounter with the vagabond, Belyan has acquired a masterly skill at throwing these weapons in both techniques: Throwing individual pins or showering several pins at once.

Keen-eyed: Her Elven heritage and her roaming in forests for hours through the night have made her eyes more than sharp: She can see better than average humans in the dark and can identify the slightest details, which particularly helps her to distinguish herbs. Moreover, in connection with her high dexterity, this skill has a positive spill-over effect on her over-all activities…such as throwing Salén Pins.

High adaptability: She hardly forgets anything she has ever read or learned. This skill significantly helped her to quickly advance in her studies, particularly in memorizing unfathomable numbers of different plants and herbs. This skill also impacts on other abilities she has learned, such as mixing potions, weaving, embroidery…and throwing Salén Pins.

She can speak, read and write Styrash although she would never show that in public. This skill is reserved when she meets her people.

Wealthy: Her well-going business and her loyal son who never forgets to send her money has made her a somewhat comfortable person. She usually does not have financial problems and is able to purchase whatever she wants.

Weaknesses:
Ritual person: While this may seem to be rather an eccentricity than a weakness, her commitment to certain rituals has significant ramifications on her life: For instance, she can only fall asleep with the first twitter of the birds in a locked room and she has to be woken up exactly one hour before noon. If this does not happen, she either does not sleep at all, becomes obnoxious and unfocussed, or, mostly, both. If the above mentioned nutrition requirements can not be met, the same effects occur. Same is true for unwashed cloths, malodour in general and lack of alcohol (see below) – not to mention her “special days”.

Alcoholic: Although she would never admit, she is an alcoholic par excellence. She needs at least a bottle of her favourite vintage wine before she goes to bed. If she can not drink at all or – even worse – has to drink alcohol infra dig infra dig? What's that?, she becomes first obnoxious and then unfocussed. Although she manages to control her drinking habits while she delves herself into her studies (her only superior addiction), and knows exactly how much to drink in order to perform inconspicuously and precise, she sometimes crosses the line. This occasionally, though not often, has a negative spill-over effect on her over-all activities such as mixing potions, weaving, embroidery…or throwing Salén Pins.

Light sensitivity: This Darkelven heritage of hers lets her avoid the sun or other sources of lurid lights whenever she can. Although she awakes one hour before noon, she would never leave the protection of walls before late afternoon unless the weather is overclouded. In lurid light, her keen eyesight decreases significantly and she has severe problems to see remotely. Her umbrella and a dark veil are her only protection during the daylight – particularly onerous in the summer. Good weakness, since most of the stories will take place during the day, very often pretty much skipping the night ;) That *would* pose a problem for her sleeping habits as well ;)

Depression: Whenever she finds out something new about the Eophyrhim she instantly falls into a depression, causing her abilities and skills to decrease significantly and she sometimes even develops severe migraine, pinning her to her bed and vintage wine. Anything new? Surely there's something about the Eophyrhim that she can find herself in agreement with?

Low stamina: Although she can wander for hours through forests, she can do so only because she often rests to admire a rare plant or feel a beloved tree. She quickly looses her endurance during long and exhaustive travels, becoming, at the best, obnoxious. Seems that many things make her obnoxious ;)
 
Belongings:
A large black leather bag containing a couple of glass repositories with some dried roots or other plants she bought (since she hesitates to gather roots herself, she buys them), her Styrash-Tharian dictionary and at least two other books about plants and their effects. She also owns the following: A drepanium, A what now? an umbrella, a dark veil, a collection of expensive makeup and perfumes, some silk handkerchiefs, a couple of writing feathers and a small bottle of ink, of course her precious Styrash-Tharian dictionaryNaming this once is enough ;) and at least one bottle of her favourite vintage wine.

In her bag, she also keeps her precious jewellery of which she only wears the leaf-shaped silver necklace and her numerous bracelets. However, a woman of her status could impossibly appear on a soirée without at least one diamond ring and an expensive diadem, could she?

In her wide coat she hides two dozen slim, sharp and well-balanced Salén Pins (five of which are always hidden in her left sleeve), a well-filled purse which is occasionally refilled by her son’s messenger, at least one bottle of her favourite vintage wine and more repositories, one of which contains Trinity herbs and another even a couple of Puliquay. The majority of the other herbs are healing herbs such as Yahrle Canelvous, and Jeshanna Lily which Belyan admittedly predominantly uses to keep her skin moist and well-tended. Most of those things aren't really too heavy. Wouldn't the bottle of wine pull the coat to one side all the time?

Her numerous cloths and shoes are usually carried by either Rina, her regular companion and, since Belyan’s wardrobe is quite opulent, a paid porter. it's 'Either... or...', not 'and'. Minor grammaticality :P

Familiars:
As indicated above, she got herself three female Rimrunners when they were still puppies: Masha (black), Tasha (cream) and Sasha (white), each now about four palmspans from nose to tail. Belyan successively trained them to smell plants, and particularly pay attention to “certain” herbs: Masha for the R’unorian Rose, Tasha for Wizardleaf, and Sasha to find her Zifel.

During their training Belyan paid particular attention that her dogs only retrieve her the strongest leafs, which would not kill the plant when ripped out. Most importantly, her dogs would never touch one the magical plants (even if they did sometimes with rather “remarkable” effects) but only start barking whenever they sniff one. For the other plants, she has to let them smell a sample of the plant or herb and then either give the command “bring!” or just say “go!”. The latter command just makes her dogs to sniff around and run to the herb and start barking. She'll have to be very careful not to let them bring a poisonous plant then ;)

Rina:
 Belyan’s maiden Rina is an average-looking 17-year-old Erpheronian girl of one peds and two fores with dark hair and a slim body. Since she is Belyan’s handmaiden she is usually well dressed. Her grandmother, Tanya, was Belyan’s nanny and her mother’s maiden. After Yelvin died, Tanya moved together with her husband Cal and their little daughter Kelya to the Cuivizanels to whom she offered her services. When Kelya was old enough, she stepped in her mother’s role and became Belyan’s maiden. Belyan and Kelya had a special relationship since Belyan knew her since she was almost still a newborn and loved her as a little sister. Thus, when Kelya gave birth to her second child, Rina, it was not a surprise which career the little girl would pursue.

When Belyan moved to the frontiers of Istarin, Kelya, due to her advanced age, preferred to stay with Kale and his family and Rina moved in with her, together with Orin, Belyan’s servant/bodyguard. When she is in transit, Rina would always follow her mistress and make sure that she wants for nothing. Needless to say that Belyan loves Rina unconditionally: Although the poor girl has sometimes to bear Belyan’s eccentric behaviour and fulfil orders she not always understands, Rina has a good life – better, in fact, than many others in her position. Belyan would always make sure that Rina, too, wants for nothing.

Rina is basically literate, just enough to purchase simple products, and has few talents. She is a loyal girl and loves Belyan, who she calls “Bonne maman” like her aunt. We don't really have the French language in Santharia... but that's really just something minor and you can leave it if you want.

Well, that's it. You should be pretty close to approval once you've addressed these comments :)
With regard,
Simonne
Logged

Youth is a gift of nature, but old age is a work of art
Simonne Miller
Belyan Cuivizanel
Forlorn Lady Commenter
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Posts: 163


Half-Elf, Eophyrhim/ Kuglimz


« Reply #14 on: June 22, 2008, 12:31:38 PM »

Hey Simonne,
thanks a lot for your patience and corrections. I've changed everything you suggested and hope Belyan is fine now. Anyways, I've marked all changed or added passages, except grammar faults or typos, in red. Obviously, though, I'm not a native speaker, am I?

Yeah, you're utterly right: this light sensitivity is a considerable weakness...But to paraphrase someone in one of the character description forums: Weaknesses are sometimes more fun to play, aren't they?...I might enjoy to "have reasons" to let Belyan be obnoxius... evil

Logged

"I'm so tired! Rina, would you pass me a glass of wine, darling?"
Belyan Cuivizanel
Pages: [1] 2   Go Up
Print
Jump to:  

Recent Posts
[July 23, 2019, 07:02:29 PM]

[July 23, 2019, 07:02:23 PM]

[August 01, 2018, 03:13:13 PM]

[June 19, 2018, 12:49:51 PM]

[April 28, 2018, 03:44:22 AM]

[April 13, 2018, 06:36:29 AM]

[April 10, 2018, 08:32:04 PM]

[March 09, 2018, 05:45:59 PM]

[February 13, 2018, 12:19:59 PM]

[January 02, 2018, 02:30:49 AM]
Members
Total Members: 2837
Latest: beaker
Stats
Total Posts: 214554
Total Topics: 8049
Online Today: 7
Online Ever: 216
(November 30, 2006, 09:08:03 AM)
Users Online
Users: 0
Guests: 8
Total: 8

Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2005, Simple Machines
TinyPortal v0.9.8 © Bloc
Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!
Theme based on Cerberus with Risen adjustments by Bloc and Krelia
Modified By Artimidor for The Santharian Dream
gfx
gfxgfx gfxgfx