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Author Topic: Lyrién Raohalniraél / Elf - Injerín / Enchanting Bard  (Read 5091 times)
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Lyrién Raohalniraél
Enchanting Bard
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Posts: 25


Elf, Injerín


« on: July 09, 2008, 08:34:49 PM »

Name: Lyrién Raohalniraél
Gender: Male
Age: 230 (looks like 27 and has the knowledge of a 34 year old human)

Race: Elf
Tribe: Injerín

Occupation:
During his yet short life, Lyrién has not only acquired magical abilities (level three Wind mage) but has also become a very good bard. His play with the harp accompanied by his beautiful voice – and sometimes by a little bit of Wind magic – has never failed to earn him some coins when he is in cities or wealthier rural areas.

Title: Enchanting Bard

Height: Two peds
Weight: One pygge, five hebs
Hair: Injohue (bright gold)
Eyes: Amber

Physical Appearance:
Educated or perambulated humans and, of course, most elves will almost immediately identify Lyrién as an Injerín: His tall, slender figure as well as his long and elegant limbs are typical for his people. But most significant is his pale face. Long, injohue-coloured hair falls back over his shoulders and frames an oval face with high cheeks, which seem to have a permanent blush. Above his fine, pointy nose sit two big amber-coloured eyes, which, together with his hair, create an illusion as if gold has been used to create his head. All those who still are not able to identify him as an elf will be ‘enlightened’ by his pointy ears, which he would never hide under his luscious hair, which is mostly held back out of his face with flowery twigs.

He is not very muscular, but gracefully built. He always moves lightly, as if he did not want to hurt the ground he walks on. Together with his small harp, the flowery twigs in his hair, his graceful, sometimes dancing, movements he seems more than a fairy than an elf – for malicious or envious eyes even in both senses of the word.

Moreover, although he is sometimes described as looking like a young man in his early twenties, he actually can, like all of his tribe, appear as being somewhere between 18 and 30 years old.

Clothing:
His Injerín heritage continues to show in his clothing. He wears practical, simple clothes, which he purchases whenever he needs some. However, they have to be either purple or any shade of brown since the two colours represent his occupation in the customs of his people: Purple for the bard and brown for the not-yet enlightened master, indicating that he may have attended a magical school. Other Injerín will easily be able to identify him being a singer or musician who is, at least, highly literate.

Personality:
Lyrién Raohalniraél is a friendly, open-minded and only slightly arrogant young elf. His arrogance is not genuine but rather typical for someone raised in the isolation of his people. Humans and other races are for him short-living creatures which, however, still deserve respect for their grandiose achievements. Hatred and disdain are feelings reserved only for two races and one human tribe: dark elves, orcs, and barbarians who brought the war to his lands. He cannot help but hate them from the bottom of his heart, although he actually has never met either of these people. He promised himself to treat them with respect for they are beings of Avá and try to bring them peace.

Strengths:
Avá’s gift: Lyrién’s voice is his biggest virtue. Beautiful and articulate, it will make most people to listen to him, to treat him friendly and engage in conversation, just to hear more of it.

Musical: He has almost mastered the harp although there is still much to learn for him. He can easily learn new songs and melodies to play on it. His skill is good enough to enchant people without using magic and earn him some money, if needed.

Wind Mage: Lyrién, a level three Wind Mage, has the ability to improve the effects of his voice and his harp play but his magic also enables him to hide himself (Hide, Vanish) or to walk in the air (Wind Walking). He of course also knows the Conjure Wind spell. His only defense spell is Wind Exile which can blow away attackers or at least irritate them.

Stamina: As a young Injerín, Lyrién can walk long distances without needing much rest or sleep. A short nap on plain earth is enough for him to recharge his energy.

Sensitive ears: Having been trained for decades, his ears have become amazingly sharp and sensitive. He is able to hear distant songs, analyze their melody and, if necessary, knows how to improve tones to make a song perfect. This strength might also help him to follow conversations unnoticeably.

Literate: Lyrién speaks, reads and writes Styrásh as well as the language of the humans.

Weaknesses:
Beauty: Lyrién loves everything beautiful, particularly if it has two legs and long hair. He is easily distracted by beautiful women, but also by landscapes, arts, etc.

Harmless: He is not strong enough to fight or even to defend himself in times of trouble. When he cannot use magic to hide himself, or play his harp to becalm attackers (which is difficult enough, considering how many attackers would sit down first and listen to their victim’s songs), he is at his opponent’s mercy.

Claustrophobic: Lyrién is not used to small, closed rooms and does not like to be in them. He feels encaged and prefers to sleep either outside or in large rooms with big windows…however, he is not always able to afford them. If he is forced to stay in a small room without windows, he first becomes nervous, then unfocused, and eventually panics.

Sound sensitive
: Being a gentle singer he does not like loud, brutal noises. He is easily scared when he hears someone screaming, shouting or laughing rudely. This weakness is even exacerbated by his sensitive ears.

Passionate: Lyrién considers his task to bring peace to the world very passionately. Too passionately. Thus he is likely to start singing and playing in the most violent situations in order to spread his message, even if it might be too dangerous for him. Moreover, people might get easily annoyed by his reiterated statements about piece and harmony.

Homesick: Although his task is very important for him, Lyrién really misses the Shaded Forest. In the worst moments, he will refuse to eat, drink, sleep, talk to anybody or do anything at all. Instead, he becomes depressed and does not care about what is happening around him.

Racist: Lyrién makes Dark Elves, Orcs, and Barbarians responsible for the many wars his beloved home had to fight. Particularly, he makes every Dark Elf, Orc, or Barbarian personally responsible and if he will meet one he will only hardly be able to restrain himself from uttering unnecessary comments. Because these races and tribes are usually much more powerful, stronger and way more experienced in warfare than him, this might result in serious troubles for him. Moreover, he does not take non-elfish people too serious, he rather finds them twee and will face them with a mixture of distance and condescension.

Magic:
Lyrién has not been trained at the Ximaxian Academy of Magic, but rather by elven mages in his home city Elin’dor where the mages were able to help him achieve what Avá had told him in a dream when he was a boy: To become a bard who may influence the Wind ouniá of car’áll to help him spreading her words of peace. For becalming enraged and furious minds he may also make his voice more convincing. This ability, however, works differently as equivalents from the Fire school: Instead of reducing their blood’s temperature, Lyrién rather makes their minds more prone to be enchanted by his voice. Thus, the only spell he has truly mastered is a spell which might need some explanation, and it has to be noted that it only works while singing and playing the harp: When Lyrién intones an ancient, beautiful elven song, people usually listen to him and are enchanted anyway – without him needing to use Wind magic. However, when he finds a rather, well, rough audience, he increases the properties of Wind ouniá in the cár’áll of peoples’ mind, particularly the part which listens to their ears’ perceptions, and makes them more prone to be mesmerized by his peaceful songs. But most importantly, although the vast majority of humans do not understand Styrásh, they at least will understand that he is singing about peace. In a nutshell, this spell makes people more prone to be influenced by his message of peace. In the best situations, he will sing to a bellicose audience which, after he had finished, will lay down their weapons. Since he is a mere level three mage, he is not able to enchant more than two persons with his magic. However, this situation has not yet occurred and mostly he uses this spell to simply mesmerize an audience with the aim to make them think more about peace. This spell is what made his mother call him an “Enchanting Bard”.

It might be necessary to explain how this spell is cast. Since it is his own, private spell, which he has developed with his tutors, his bard has over the time become its reagent. More precisely, it is an obligatory reagent. Basically, Lyrién intones a song first, after the first notes he will look around his audience and pierce them with his golden eyes. What seems to many like a typical performing act of musicians is actually the preparation of the spell: Of course, he has to concentrate on every mind he wants to influence so he usually picks the “leader” of a group and then, if necessary, one other person he deems might otherwise not want even to listen to him. Hence, it is not necessary for him to enchant (in the magical meaning of the word) the entire audience, but rather a few, averse minds. Here, it has to be reiterated that he does not actually read his audience’s minds in the magical meaning of the word, but rather to assess their character. For example, if he would be singing in front of an audience of eight violence-prone men, he would first focus on the one seeming to be the most-respected one of the group and then on the one constantly playing with his short sword and smiling frighteningly.

It has to be admitted, though, that Lyrién also uses this spell for less noble reasons. When he sees an affluent person among his audience he will concentrate on this person’s mind to fascinate them in order to just get some extra san.

But he knew that at some point he will have to travel Avá’s lands to spread her message, and because he has never learned how to hold a weapon, was also taught the Wind Walking and Vanish spell to help him pass smaller natural barricades, of course Conjure Wind, particularly because he does not like too hot weather. It has to be noted, though, that he can cast the Wind Walking spell only on himself. Moreover, since he strictly refused to learn harmful spells such as Thunderclap, he knows the Hide spell: When he has no other choice to protect himself, such as through words, songs or other spells, he makes himself disappear. Because he walks also quite silently, this spell can protect him very well against harm. If he finds himself in a situation where he can neither escape nor use Vanish to prevent an attack, Lyrién can conjure the Wind Exile spell to blow an enemy away or at least irritate many attackers. After all, these spells are his only protection in a world which is often deaf to peaceful words.

History:
Lyrién Raohalniraél is the only son to his parents, his father a dignified librarian at Elin’dor’s main library and his mother a botanist and healer. Lyrién was born in bellicose times, as the Shaded Forest was attacked first by Diorye'oleal and the Ash'mari, and then by the Orcs. However, his last decades in the Shaded Forest were characterized by a time where the Injeríns proved their affinity to peace as treaties, arrangements and extensive trade relations were established between dwarfs, humans, and themselves.

But it was in a night during one of the most heinous fights against the dark elves and the barbarians as Lyrién heard Avá. He was a boy still when he dreamed of a tall, beautiful elfess. She wore golden garments made of different cloths and a golden glow seemed to emit from her. A slight breeze of wind seemed to be constantly around her and let her long golden hair move along her stature. Her amber eyes fixed him as she spoke to him in the most beautiful voice he’d ever heard before: “Lyrién Raohalniaraél, son of Móhcin'lón: War has wreaked havoc upon our lands and has drowned its sacred soil with the blood of many colours, many races, and many histories. This is not our way, this is not your way.” The initial forest in his dreams turned into a battlefield, where corpses were piling and oh, so much blood was dying the green lands of his beloved homeland black. The scenery changed back to the peaceful forest of which his mother has told him so many times. “This is our land, Lyrién Raohalniraél, this is how it shall be. Your voice is a gift. Use it and the ouniá of all car’all to spread peace again.” The scenery changed again and he saw himself, as how he would look like in seven decades, sitting on a bench, playing a small harp and singing to a mesmerized audience. Then a red flash destroyed this image and he saw the piles of corpses again, just before he woke up, terrified and covered in sweat. He should never forget this dream.

He ran into his parents’ bedroom, scared and excited at the same time, jumped into their bed and hugged his parents under the blanket, still shaking. They tried to calm him down, told him he probably had had a bad dream and everything would be fine now. “You don’t understand baba, mama! She spoke to me, The One!”, he shouted first but then lowered his voice to a reverential whisper: “Avá”. His parents first smiled at each other in sublime bemusement, since they believed it to be a child’s dream rather than a message from The One. But as they listened further to Lyrién, every sign of tiredness immediately vanished from them as they knew of the significance of this moment. They listened with a mixture of excitement and pride. “So be it then, my son”, his father declared after Lyrién had finished. “You will fulfil Avá’s wish. It is your, it is our duty and way.” It was not important whether Avá had spoken to him or not, it was important that their young son had just determined his history. His mother tenderly fondled her son’s silk-like golden hair while he huddled against his parents, eyes slowly closing: “You will be my Enchanting Bard, Lyrién”, the voice of his mother dropped like honey into is ears as Lyrién faded away into the realm of sleep, so quickly as only children can.

He was still too young to be inducted by elven mages into the realm of magic. His will was yet to become strong and concentrated. Instead, his mother took Lyrién to Lyeil’soula, the city of the elven bards. Here she entrusted him in the care of an old bard whom she told about Lyrién’s dream. This was enough to convince the old elf to teach the young boy. Lyrién stayed in Lyeil’soula for many years and proved indeed to be gifted with a beautiful voice and long fingers which flew over a harp. More than four decades later, he was 57 years old, he finished his training in Lyeil’soula and his mind finally became concentrated and strong enough to digest a magical education.

His father came to Lyeil’soula, handed the old teacher a rare, ancient book about legendary Injerín bards and singers to express his gratitude for his teachings. He was just about to depart with Lyrién as his teacher returned from his house with a small, wooden and masterfully crafted harp. “I cannot express how valuable this book is to me, master Mey’dil, but”, he turned to Lyrién, “may this harp help you fulfil your destiny, my child. It was my first one and I am too old to use it with the diligence it deserves. It was my own harp when I was your age. My master gave it to me. May it serve you well, Lyrién Raohalniraél. Farewell, but do not forget your singing while you are learning the arts of using ouniá! Elin’dor has many libraries full of our songs and history. Your father will guide you.” He nodded towards the librarian.

The next seven decades he spent in the house of his childhood and was taught in the arts of Wind magic for it was clear that this would be the element of his life. But being a son of a dignified librarian also meant that he was taught in the language of the humans, and ancient songs of the Injerín. Here, in Elin’dor, he grew to a young man and became soon aware that his voice not only could spread peace, but also…well…love. This should be a weakness of his, able to distract him in his god-given mission. To both his parents’ outrage and silent amusement he showed considerable affections towards the beautiful gender. However, his recurrent dream of the blood-soaked battlefields never let him forget what he had, and still has, to do: spreading peace as long as he can breathe.

After he had finished his basic education in Wind magic his teachers were impressed by his abilities and affinity with the Wind element. They wanted to further teach him, induct him in the higher circles of magic. But he knew that was not his way. Although his parents would have loved him to stay in the Shaded Forest they knew that at some point he had to leave it. That he had to learn the songs and the customs of the war-loving people, particularly those of the versatile humans. After the celebration of his twohundredth birthday, Lyrién said farewell to his grieving parents, friends – and girlfriends – and set for the first time in his life a foot outside the Shaded Forest to learn the human’s songs and themselves. He had a mission and did not want to fail.

For now, during his first year outside his homeland, he does not see his mission to walk through cities and sing of peace and Avá but rather to learn human songs, customs, stories and, most importantly, themselves. He wants to write his own songs for these strange people and thus wanders the countries to get in touch with the various tribes.

Belongings:
Lyrién owns very few things. He carries a large leather bag which contains, of course, his harp, food, some clothes and a small purse with a modest amount of Santharian coins which his father gave him before he left. He also has a small knife to cut apples or meat in pieces and carries a couple of paper sheets, as well as pen and ink to make notes when he has heard a new song or story.
« Last Edit: July 30, 2008, 01:26:34 PM by Eléyr Fásamár » Logged

Mannix
Ranger of Shadow
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Gender: Male
Posts: 816


Elf, Aellenrhim


« Reply #1 on: July 10, 2008, 12:16:10 AM »

Evening Lyrién, and I’m guessing Belyan.  First thing I noticed is that this isn’t in order. I know this may seem pedantic but it helps when someone wants to find something in your CD.  Thanks.  Now for some comments, in the lovely blue.  May I just say that I am also a huge fan of the comma, so there will be times where it isn’t mandatory, I’ll tell you.

Name: Lyrién Raohalniraél
Gender: Male
Age: 90 (looks like 22)

Race: Elf
Tribe: Injerín

Occupation:
During his yet short life, Lyrien(accent) has not only acquired magical abilities (level three Wind mage) but has also become a very good bard. His play with the harp accompanied by his beautiful voice – and sometimes by a little bit of Wind magic – has never failed to earn him some coins when he is in cities or wealthier rural areas. (Good idea, I look forward to reading your magic section.)

Title: Enchanting Bard

Height: Two peds
Weight: One pygge, five hebs
Hair: Injohue (could you put yellow on the end so we don’t have to look it up)
Eyes: Amber

Physical Appearance:
Educated or perambulated humans and, of course, most elves will almost immediately identify Lyrien(accent) as an Injerín: His tall, slender figure as well as his long and elegant limbs are typical for his people. But most significant is his pale face. Long, injohue-coloured hair falls back over his shoulders and frames an oval face with high cheeks, which seem to have a permanent blush. Above his fine, pointy nose sit two big amber-coloured eyes,<~~(comma if you want-ifw from now on) which, together with his hair, create an illusion as if gold has been used to create his head. All those who still are not able to identify him as an elf will be ‘enlightened’ by his pointy ears,<~~(comma ifw) which he would never hide under his luscious hair, which is mostly held back out of his face with flowery twigs.

He is not very muscular,<~~(comma ifw) but gracefully built. He always moves lightly, as if he did not want to hurt the ground he walks on. Together with his small harp, the flowery twigs in his hair, his graceful, sometimes dancing, movements he seems more like a fairy than an elf – for malicious or envious eyes even in both senses of the word.

Moreover, although he is sometimes described as looking like a young man in his early twenties, he actually can, like all of his tribe, appear as being somewhere between 18 and 30 years old.

Clothing:
His Injerín heritage continues to show in his clothing. He wears practical,<~~(comma) simple cloth,<~~(comma ifw) which he purchases whenever he needs some. However, they have to be either purple or any shade of brown since the two colours represent his occupation in the customs of his people: Purple for the bard and brown for the not-yet enlightened master, indicating that he may have attended a magical school. Other Injerín will easily be able to identify him being a singer or musician who is, at least, highly literate.

Weapons: None (you can remove this then)

Magic:
Lyrien(accent) has not been trained at the Ximaxian Academy of Magic,<~~(comma ifw) but rather by elven mages in his home(space)city Elin’dor where the mages were able to help him achieve what Avá had told him when he was a boy: To become a bard who may gather the ouniá of car’áll to help him spreading her words of peace.(Avá spoke to him? I didn’t know she could, I thought see would have to wake to do that.) So he was taught to use the ouniá around him to make his voice louder to enable it to be heard clearly over large distances. Actually ‘louder’ is a wrong term since it does not rise in volume. Rather, people many peds away experience the same audibility like people right next to him. For becalming more enraged and furious minds he may also make his voice more convincing. This ability, however, works differently as equivalents from the Fire school: Instead of reducing their blood’s temperature, Lyrien(accent) rather makes their minds more prone to be enchanted by his voice.

But he knew that at some point he will have to travel Avá’s lands to spread her message, and because he has never learned how to hold a weapon, was also taught the Shadow(This is level 7 so you can't use it.), Vanish, and Chimaera(This is level 5, a whole different sphere, likethe other, so you can’t use it.) spells, which he over the years eventually has mastered. After all, these spells are his only protection in a world which is often deaf to peaceful words.

However, he usually only uses his magical abilities to make his already beautiful voice louder (in the above mentioned sense), more convincing, or he provides it with ‘special effects’ such as reverberation.
(Now I’m no magic expert, I haven’t even got my spell approved yet, but I don’t think this shows knowledge of the magic system.  I love the idea of a bard using wind magic; I think you could make quite a section out of this. Experts will be along to check it.)

History:
Lyrién Raohalniraél is the only son to his parents, his father a dignified librarian at Elin’dor’s main library and his mother a botanist and healer. Lyrien(accent) was born in bellicose times, as the Shaded Forest was attacked first by Diorye'oleal and the Ash'mari, and then by the Orcs. However, his last decades in the Shaded Forest were characterized by a time where the Injeríns proved their affinity to peace as treaties, arrangements and extensive trade relations were established between dwarfs,<~~(comma) humans and themselves.

But it was in a night during one of the most heinous fights against the dark elves and the barbarians as Lyrién heard Avá. He was a boy still when The One appeared in his dreams and said to him in the shapes and voices of many animals: “Lyrién Raohalniaraél, son of Móhcin'lón: War has wreaked havoc upon My lands and has drowned its sacred soil with the blood of many colours, many races, and many histories. This is not My way, this is not your way.” The initial forest in his dreams turned into a battlefield, where corpses were piling and oh, so much blood was dying the green lands of his beloved homeland black. The scenery changed back to the peaceful forest of which his mother has told him so many times. “This is My land, Lyrién Raohalniraél, this is how it shall be. Your voice is My gift to you. Use it and the ouniá of all car’all to spread peace again. This will be your gift to Me.” The scenery changed again and he saw himself, as how he would look like in seven decades, sitting on a bench, playing a small harp and singing to a mesmerized audience. Then a red flash and he saw the piles of corpses again, before he woke up, terrified and covered in sweat. He should never forget this dream.
(Oh, so it was a dream.  I guess you can disregard my comment above.  Also, the way the Ava spoke seemed un-elven to me. She should act elven as it’s in an elf’s dream.  As I understand it, the elves do not look at magic this way.  The words have other meanings in their language as well.  I know elven magic is undeveloped so it’s hard, and I guess this is really minor.)

He ran into his parents’ bedroom, scared and excited at the same time, jumped into the bed and hugged his parents under the pillow, still shaking. They tried to calm him down, told him he probably had had a bad dream and everything would be fine now. “You don’t understand baba, mama! She spoke to me, The One!”, he shouted but then lowered his voice: “Avá”. Every sign of tiredness immediately vanished from his parents as they knew of the significance of this moment. They listened with a mixture of excitement and pride. “So be it then, my son”, his father declared after Lyrién had finished. “You will fulfil Avá’s wish. It is your, it is our duty and way.”

He was still too young to be inducted by elven mages into the realm of magic. His will was yet to become strong and concentrated. Instead, his mother took Lyrién to Lyeil’soula, the city of the elven bards. Here she entrusted him in the care of an old bard whom she told about Lyrién’s dream. This was enough to convince the elf to teach the young boy. He stayed in Lyeil’soula for many years and proved indeed to be gifted with a beautiful voice and long fingers which flew over a harp. More than a decade later, he was 21 years old his mind finally became concentrated and strong enough to digest a magical education.

His father came to Lyeil’soula, handed the old teacher a rare ancient book about legendary Injerín bards and singers to express his gratitude for his teachings. He was just about to depart with Lyrién as his teacher returned from his house with a small, wooden and masterfully crafted harp. “I cannot express how valuable this book is to me, master Mey’dil, but”, he turned to Lyrién, “may this harp help you fulfil your destiny, my child. It was my first one and I am too old to use it with the diligence it deserves. It was my own harp when I was your age. My master gave it to me. May it serve you well, Lyrién Raohalniraél. Farewell, but do not forget your singing while you are learning the arts of using ouniá! Elin’dor has many libraries full of our songs and history. Your father will guide you.” He nodded towards the librarian.

The next six decades he spent in the house of his childhood and was taught in the arts of Wind magic for it was clear that this would be the element of his life. But being a son of a dignified librarian also meant that he was taught in the language of the humans, and ancient songs of the Injerín. Here, in Elin’dor, he grew to a young man and became soon aware that his voice not only could spread peace, but also…well…love. This should be a weakness of him, able to distract him in his god-given mission. To both his parents’ outrage and silent amusement he showed considerable affections towards the beautiful gender. However, his recurrent dreams of the blood-soaked battlefields never let him forget what he had, and still has, to do: spreading peace as long as he can breathe.

After he had finished his basic education in the Wind magic his teachers were impressed by his abilities and affinity with the Wind element. They wanted to further teach him, induct him in the higher circles of magic. But he knew that was not his way. Although his parents would have loved him to stay in the Shaded Forest they knew that at some point he had to leave it. That he had to learn the songs and the customs of the war-loving people, particularly those of the versatile humans. After the celebration of his ninetieth birthday, Lyrién said farewell to his grieving parents, friends – and girlfriends(Oooo :P) and set for the first time in his life a foot outside the Shaded Forest to learn the human’s songs and themselves. He had a mission and did not want to fail.

For now, he does not see his mission to walk through cities and sing of peace and Avá but rather to learn human songs, customs, stories and, most importantly, themselves. He wants to write his own songs for these strange people and thus wanders the countries to get in touch with the various tribes.

Personality:
Lyrién Raohalniraél is a friendly, open-minded and only slightly arrogant young elf. His arrogance is not genuine but rather typical for someone raised in the isolation of his people. Humans and other tribes are for him short-living creatures which, however, still deserve respect for their grandiose achievements. Hatred and disdain are feelings reserved only for three tribes: dark elves, barbarians and orcs who brought the war to his lands. He cannot help but hate them from the bottom of his heart, although he actually has never met either of these people. He promised himself to treat them with respect for they are beings of Avá and try to bring them peace.
(Dark elves and orcs aren’t tribes.)

Strengths:
Avá’s gift: Lyrién’s voice is his biggest virtue. Beautiful and articulate, it will make the most people to listen to him, to treat him friendly and engage in conversation, just to hear more of it.

Musical: He has almost mastered the harp although there is still much to learn for him. He can easily learn new songs and melodies to play on it. His skill is good enough to enchant people without using magic and earn him some money, if needed.

Wind Mage: Lyrién, a level three Wind Mage, has the ability to improve the effects of his voice and his harp play but also enables him to hide himself (Vanish, Chimaera) or make him even invisible to a single person (Shadow).

Stamina: As a young Injerín, Lyrién can walk long distances without needing much rest or sleep. A short nap on plain earth is enough for him to recharge his powers. (This is very picky, but perhaps this isn’t the right word to use.)

Sensitive ears: Trained for decades, his ears have become amazingly sharp and sensitive. He is able to hear distant songs, analyze their melody and, if necessary, knows how to improve tones to make a song perfect. This might also help him to follow conversations unsolicitedly(Is this a word?).

Literate: Lyrién speaks, reads and writes Styrash(accent) as well as the language of the humans.

Weaknesses:
Beauty: Lyrién loves everything beautiful, particularly if it has two legs and long hair. He is easily distracted by beautiful women, but also landscapes, arts, etc. This will easily distract him.

Naïve: Lyrién has met only few humans and had no idea about how deceiving they can be. He can easily be fooled into doing things which can prove unfavourable for him.

Harmless: He is not strong enough to fight or even to defend himself in times of trouble. When he can(no space)not use magic to hide himself or his harp to becalm attackers (which is difficult enough, considering how many attackers would sit down first and listen to their victim’s songs), he is at his opponent’s mercy.

Claustrophobic: Lyrién is not used to small, closed rooms and does not like to be in them. He feels encaged and prefers to sleep either outside or in large rooms with big windows…however, is not always able to afford them. If he is forced to stay in a small room without windows, he first becomes nervous, unfocused, and eventually panics.

Sound sensitive: Being a gentle singer he does not like loud, brutal noises. He is easily scared when he hears someone screaming, shouting or laughing rudely. This weakness is considerably distracted by his sensitive ears.

Sensitive stomach: Having lived in the Shaded Forest for almost nine decades, Lyrién is not used to human food. He particularly finds bread, beef, beer and sweets hard to digest. He just eats berries, some flowers, fish and only light meat.

Belongings:
Lyrién owns very few things. He carries a large leather bag,<~~(comma ifw) which contains, of course, his harp, food, some clothes and a small purse with a modest amount of Santharian coins which his father gave him before he left. He also has a small knife to cut apples or meat in pieces and carries a couple of paper sheets, as well as pen and ink to make notes when he has heard a new song or story.

Well done Lyrién.  I really must say, I love this character! You have an excellent vocabulary, and I had to consult a dictionary more than once.  I have questioned the speaking of Ava, but if somebody else says it is so then it will be fine.  I think I’ll go ask over on the dev board.  I’ll be back with an answer.

Mannix
« Last Edit: July 10, 2008, 12:24:25 AM by Mannix » Logged

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Lyrién Raohalniraél
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Elf, Injerín


« Reply #2 on: July 10, 2008, 02:44:54 AM »

Hey Mannix. Damn! What did give me away? Maybe my obvious comment in the registration problem topic? My typical mistakes? Thanks a lot for your patience to look over my CD. I will fix it all soon.

Edit: Done! But I have to say I'm rather confused about your comments in the magic section: The respective website lists Shadow and Chimaera as "typical spells" of Class I, Sphere I. And according to Mina's Magic Guide, Sphere I is taught to levels one to three (see: "Sphere One is the simplest of the Spheres, and is usually taught from levels 1 to 3." ibid). So where did you get your list of spells and their respective levels from? I didn't find it on the Website! I must have overseen that but am of course willingly ready to change that...Btw: I deliberately did not use one of the Class II spells, since they appeared too strong for what I had in mind for Lyrién (e.g. enslave others mind or improve intelligence). Basically, I just want his Wind magic to support his voice, but also to protect him against threats, since he can't defend himself and often wanders alone. I'd love to give him e.g. Thunderclap or especially Telekinesis, but they are obviously Sphere II.

So I hope you don't mind when I leave this part, and Avá's appearance in his dream (except one minor modification), as it is for now. I've changed everything else, and also, of course, the order of the CD, thanks for that! Changes are in red, expect typos and grammar errors.

Thanks also for your compliments about the overall CD :)!
« Last Edit: July 10, 2008, 03:20:31 AM by Lyrién Raohalniraél » Logged

Mannix
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« Reply #3 on: July 10, 2008, 12:29:32 PM »

It's okay Lyrién, I read it because I enjoyed it.  The Ava and dream thing was me just being picky, sorry about that.  As for the spells, on the main page below the race link (green head) there is a book.  This is the magic section.  Go down to a bit and you''l see wind.  There are a list of spells with numbers next to them, this is their level.  Vanish is level one, causing the object to disappear.  Objects would be able to pass through the vanished object.  It is done by focusing wind ounia on an object, causing the other elements to lessen, and so it takes the form of air.  This would kill a living being.
As I said Chimaera is level 5and so sphere 2 and shadow is level 7, sphere 3.  You mentioned Thunderclap, which is actually level 3, as is Telekinesis.  But I think passive magic would suit this character, so I'll list a few that might work: Hide, Reflection, Insubstantial Shield, Shape Smoke, Cloak of Shadows, Confusion, Wind Walking, and of course, every wind mage knows Conjure Wind.  I'd suggest you look over these spells, and a few others and pick a couple.  I realise the voice amplification is the main focus, but a few extra spells would be okay.  As I said a magic expert will be along to check it for you, I'm just giving you some hints so you don't have to wait for numerous times, I hope. Since I'm taking up so much space, I'll say for you:

Ready for comments!
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Lyrién Raohalniraél
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Elf, Injerín


« Reply #4 on: July 10, 2008, 08:02:33 PM »

Mannix! Thanks a lot! Seriously. I just found it and have no idea while it didn't come to my mind to check the magic book on the main page!!! I'll edit the magic section and you're right. I will absolutely concentrate on passive magic but might give him at least one spell to protect him...we will see!

Edit: It's done now, Mannix. As you can see, I've changed a lot and also added a considerable part to the magic section. You are absolutely right: Offensive spells do not suit him so I did not give him either Thunderclap or Telekinesis but rather more passive spells. However, the most important spell, the one which makes him the Enchanting Bard, I have developed myself, if that's alright. I don't know if that's allowed by someone who is not experienced in magic but I really hope it will be accepted. It is the centre of his magic, after all. I explained the spell, its effects, as well as the casting procedure and of course limitations. I hope that's fine. Moreover, I've added some spells to protect him, particularly Hide and Wind Exile. As usual, changes are in red.

Let me thank you again, Mannix, for your help. It was much appreciated and absolutely necessary for me to understand more how the magic system here works. I promise you, as soon as Lyrién is titled, you will be the first to hear his songs. On the house of course and only with very little magic!  ;)
« Last Edit: July 10, 2008, 09:05:44 PM by Lyrién Raohalniraél » Logged

Mannix
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« Reply #5 on: July 10, 2008, 09:12:59 PM »

Well I don't see you mention a spell name, so as long as its possible with magic then its fine.  But I'm not the one to decide that.  If you want you could jump over to the develpment board and make this spell.  I really to like the idea. Thumb up

Mannix
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Lyrién Raohalniraél
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« Reply #6 on: July 10, 2008, 10:54:50 PM »

Hey Mannix. Thanks again, brilliant idea. I think I know why you suggested that: Now I myself have a better idea what this spell is supposed to be. I've posted it according to the rules (hopefully) on the Dev board and will see how it is received by the others.
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Azhira Styralias
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« Reply #7 on: July 11, 2008, 12:02:19 AM »

Hi Lyrien! A few comments for you...

1. You seem a bit unbalanced to me in your S&W. You are a talented singer, musician and mage...very strong strengths indeed. Your weaknesses are not as strong, or at least you do a simple job explaining exactly how they hinder you.

For example, the dislike of loud noises, sensitive stomach and harmless...well, unless you regularly encounter such things and they inhibit your life in a relatively major way, they are not true weaknesses. Many people hate loud noises and have somewhat sensitive constitutions. Those things can easily be avoided. Not only that, but a great many peasants could be considered "harmless" with little knowledge of defending themselves.

Claustrophobia is a good weakness. I would also recommend your hatred of orcs and dark elves and anyone resembling a Ashmari or a barbarian as a weakness, too. Perhaps explain what happens to you should you ever encounter one (probably rarely, but you never know...). Do you go into panic attacks? Do you get enraged and attack? Do you run and hide?

Take a look at some other approved CDs and maybe get some ideas of possible weaknesses you could use. That probably is one of the hardest things to create, believe me.

Concerning magic...

Magic:
Lyrién has not been trained at the Ximaxian Academy of Magic, but rather by elven mages in his home city Elin’dor where the mages were able to help him achieve what Avá had told him in a dream when he was a boy: To become a bard who may gather the ouniá of car’áll to help him spreading her words of peace.

Concerning this dream...the "real" Ava would no more come to you in a dream than any real life "god" would do. More than likely, you had a dream of someone speaking to you and you interpreted it as Ava herself coming to you. The gods of Santharia are "real" in a sense that they are worshiped and trusted, but the extent of their manifestations upon the world to mortals is still not yet defined. So, a dream from the "real" goddess Ava would not be possible...but YOU can believe it possible and use it!

So he was taught to use the ouniá around him to make his voice louder so that it can be heard clearly over large distances. Actually, ‘louder’ is a wrong term since his voice does not rise in volume. Rather, people many peds away experience the same audibility like people right next to him. For becalming more enraged and furious minds he may also make his voice more convincing. This ability, however, works differently as equivalents from the Fire school: Instead of reducing their blood’s temperature, Lyrién rather makes their minds more prone to be enchanted by his voice.

A very interesting use of the Wind element...I am not sure how this could actually work as I've never heard of a spell affecting a voice, or any sound, really. I am glad you introduced a possible spell on the dev board for this. Most likely, this would be considered a spiritual aspect spell affecting the mind. The aspect of sound has not been defined within the magic elements as far as I know. I'll comment more in your spell post.

But he knew that at some point he will have to travel Avá’s lands to spread her message, and because he has never learned how to hold a weapon, he was also taught the Shadow, Vanish, and Chimaera spells, which he over the years eventually has mastered. After all, these spells are his only protection in a world which is often deaf to peaceful words.

Chimaera and Shadow would be too high a level spells for a level 3 mage. They are Sphere I spells of the illusion variety, but high level Sphere I and out of your skill range. I'd suggest Hide, Conjure Wind, Wind Exile and Clap of Thunder. Or, as a passive mage, you could use more mind affecting spells like Confusion or Obeyance.


However, he usually only uses his magical abilities to make his already beautiful voice louder (in the above mentioned sense), more convincing, or he provides it with ‘special effects’ such as reverberation.
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Lyrién Raohalniraél
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« Reply #8 on: July 11, 2008, 12:16:55 AM »

Hey Azhira! Thanks for your comments. But actually something went wrong with my CD update since you addressed some points within my magic system which Mannix already had pointed out and which I've already fixed. So I thought, at least. Luckily, I have my CD on my hard drive as well and thus I've added the sections now (in red) and will add the Weaknesses later tonight. Sorry for that, Azhira.
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Lyrién Raohalniraél
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« Reply #9 on: July 12, 2008, 03:20:59 AM »

Done: I've deleted two minor weaknesses, which you, Azhira, rightly pointed out as not relevant: Instead, I've added three new weaknesses which might have a much more severe impact on his every-day life as well as his dealing with other people. Thanks again for your help! Changes, as usual, are in red.
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Azhira Styralias
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« Reply #10 on: July 14, 2008, 10:00:56 PM »

Quote
Lyrién Raohalniraél is the only son to his parents, his father a dignified librarian at Elin’dor’s main library and his mother a botanist and healer. Lyrién was born in bellicose times, as the Shaded Forest was attacked first by Diorye'oleal and the Ash'mari, and then by the Orcs. However, his last decades in the Shaded Forest were characterized by a time where the Injeríns proved their affinity to peace as treaties, arrangements and extensive trade relations were established between dwarfs, humans, and themselves.

You are taking some liberty here with history. I am not sure how plausible it is to have the Shaded Forest attacked by no less than three different tribes...or why? The Shaded Forest is closest to the Ashz-Oc homeland and could be a target for them, but I see it as highly unlikely that the Diorye'oleal and the Ash'mari would go so far northeast from the Hovel Frond and attack. That is too far out of their way and they would have the Kuglimz to contend with.

Quote
He was a boy still when The One appeared in his dreams and talked to him through the shapes and the voices of many animals of the Shaded Forest:

Again, you are taking it as fact that Ava came to you in a dream. Maybe she did, and maybe she didn't...but as I said before, the methods of how the gods communicate is not defined. I will bring this up with the other mods and see what they say. I know the dream is important to your character's history so I want to be positive.  Thumb up

I'll give your magic section a look over as soon as I can!  :)
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Lyrién Raohalniraél
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« Reply #11 on: July 15, 2008, 02:54:11 AM »

Hey Azhira, thanks for having a look at my CD.
As to the history part, the Injerín thread says that in 1645, "The Diorye'oleal elves and Ash'mari barbarians have finished subduing eight of the ten tribes of the Kuglimz, and turn their attention to the Shaded Forest." I understoot the last part ("turn their attention") that they, too, have attacked the Shaded Forest. I'm not a native speaker so I might have misunderstood this and, if so, will change that asap.

Considering the dream part, you're absolutely right, of course: I indeed did take some liberty. The thread says that "To the Injerín though it is natural to follow whatever disposition Avá has dreamed for you" and I hoped it might be possible to change that slightly. Should I maybe add to the history section that Lyrién was "convinced" that Avá had these plans with him and thus dreamed it? Or is it maybe ok since we all know that some dreams are nothing more than mere manifestations of our very desires? Because, I have to say, I personally liked the idea with the dream :P ...But let the Mods decide that  grin

And thanks for having a look at my magic part later.! Thumb up
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Azhira Styralias
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« Reply #12 on: July 15, 2008, 04:51:14 AM »

Well...I stand corrected! You read the Injarin entry correctly. They did indeed fight a war with the dark elves, orcs and Ash'mari in 1645 a.S. Seems I need to brush up on my history, eh? Even more embarrassing is that I help develop the Northern areas... blush

Ok, so the battle works fine then.  Thumb up

As for the dream, I quote Luca, one of the other experts (and former mod):

"It's completely reasonable for a character to "think" they've had a dream from Ava. Faith, if you will. From a narrative perspective, however, they shouldn't write it as though it were fact. So

"Ava came to him in a dream"

versus

"He had a dream one night and believed it to be Ava speaking to him"

So change any references that would say that Ava came to him and more about he believed it so...the dream can include a woman or whatever manifestation you wish, as long as you do not make it fact that it was the "real" Ava herself. This is because the Powers That Be have not decided exactly how a deity communicates and interacts with mortals in this game. Hence why clerics are not allowed yet because divine magic is not yet developed and no one knows how to roleplay it properly.
« Last Edit: July 15, 2008, 04:53:55 AM by Azhira » Logged

"Be still and I shall calm your mind and mend your broken body."
Lyrién Raohalniraél
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Elf, Injerín


« Reply #13 on: July 15, 2008, 07:19:49 AM »

Hey Azhira, thanks for having another look at my CD so quickly. I'm glad that I didn't misunderstood the history part. This way, one of his weaknesses remains quite strong, considering that there are way more dark elves in the RPG than orcs, afaik. Anyways, I've changed the history (and magic) part about the dream and his parent's reactions to it. It was indeed sort of presumptuous to assume that Avá talked to him in a dream...may the Mods forgive me for that  :) All changes are like always in red.
« Last Edit: July 15, 2008, 07:21:30 AM by Lyrién Raohalniraél » Logged

Mannix
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« Reply #14 on: July 15, 2008, 05:37:39 PM »

I think that's much better.  It does seem to contradict the belief of Ava.  If she were to wake then the world would be destroyed.  But I guess it is in a dream and you did mention that it didn't really matter to his parents whether it was Ava or not.  And the mods seem happy.  I sense an approval coming. ;)

Mannix
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