Rhia of the R'unorian Isles/Blaar'kr/Troubadour

Okay, got some blue comments for you.

Name
Rhia of the R'unorian Isles

Gender
Female

Age
19

Race
Human

Tribe
Blaar'kr

Occupation
Singer. Rhia sings songs that she has composed; (many of them are about turtles or the sea) most often a night's singing in a tavern(This is a bit awkward, consider revising it.), and sometimes on the streets for a few coins. When singing, she (often) plays the lute. An instrument Rhia favors more and is more skilled with than the lute are her panpipes- she performs with them just as often, if not more, than she sings.

Title
"Gregarious Minstrel" <--- Any suggestions are welcome.

Height
Approximately 1 ped, 1 fore

Weight
About 1 pygge, 1 hafeb

Hair
Dark brown

Eye Color
Grey

Physical Appearance
Slim, willowy, and sure, Rhia carries herself with a proud confidence. Although comely to a certain extent, (best described by(as) "fetching" or "charming") she is not beautiful. However, her utter poise and the way she presents herself can sometimes make others forget this. She speaks in a lilting, high, but not shrill, voice, but when she becomes emotional, the pitch scales up several notches. A very dark, rich brown, Rhia's hair is thick and straight. It is normally the length of her elbow lying straight down against the side of her body. She takes wonderful care of her hair as she thinks it her best feature, (and because she is more than a little vain) and goes to great pains to fashion it in elaborate hairstyles, brushing it and washing it daily. A rather misty grey, Rhia's eyes may make one think of the sea, but when she is angry, they harden and are misty no more. They are very expressive and, when she wishes them to, portray their mistress's emotions. Long and thick black lashes that Rhia has a habit of fluttering when around attractive young males frame the eyes- eyes that are slightly shortsighted. Rhia, however, is too vain to wear corrective spectacles. These eyes lie beneath expressive, dramatic eyebrows frequently raised in conversation. Farther on down lies a long and narrow nose sporting a silver ring in one nostril, following a Blaar'kr custom. A small, strawberry-hued mouth often wears an impish smile. During a silvery laugh, Rhia's head tilts back, displaying a charming chin above a creamy neck. Rhia's small, gently sloping shoulders are often thrown back in pride. She has a taut stomach, preceding two short but thin legs. If there is one thing that she hates about her body, it is her legs- they are a trifle big for her physique. Gesturing dramatically with her hands, Rhia draws attention to her tapering fingers and thin, ivory hands- hands just recently having lost the plumpness of childhood.

A temporary note- My apologies -and embarrassment- for choosing the only most common and popular physique. Any future characters will be more original.

(My only worry is the lack of paragraphs. Maybe you could have the first paragraph describing her body and the next describing her face. This may mean you have to jumble it up a bit. Except for that, it looks good.)

Clothing
Rhia prefers to wear flowy(flowing), belted dresses that are calf-length and set off her physique very nicely; she always likes to look her best. When on the road or alone, however, she will don a tunic and breeches for the sake of comfortableness. Her R'unorian dagger is sheathed in its scabbard at her belt, whichever outfit she adorns. During the colder seasons she will also wear a heavy cloak to warm her. But no matter what she wears, she always keeps a certain jade pendant in the shape of a turtle around her neck.
(Maybe some colours of the clothes. And you need to say how you got the pendant in your history.)

Personality
Rhia is what you very well may call rather vain- she is just a bit obsessive about how she looks, and always makes sure that she looks her best. However, this is not her whole personality; rather, it is just a facet of her character. She has a soft spot for the finer things in life, though she could well do without them. Rhia is very, very social. She has an amazing intelligence with people and their emotions and knows just how to interact with them; she loves taverns because of their opportunity for conversation- she is an avid talker. A gregarious character, she acquires many friends in her rovings. True, she has a few more male friends than females, but that is yet another aspect of her personality; she is a flirt and loves witty, flirtatious banter. Despite her social nature, Rhia is one to hold a grudge, even if she pretends not to for the sake of friendship. Her past has proven this. She is a bit of a rebellious soul in the respect that she is not afraid to refuse something that she does not like or whatnot. That's another thing- she is very obstinate, though she often bends her will on behalf of friendship and goodwill. This, too, has been demonstrated in her history. Regardless of her sometimes flighty nature, once a friend of Rhia's you gain her trust and aid. She is young and naïve, only nineteen springs. She is a bird just flown the nest, not expecting, not knowing of all the ways of the world. Partially as a result of this, Rhia is religious and worships the sea goddess Baveras. Always an admirer of beauty, Rhia holds the elves and their language in high esteem, often wishing that she were of elven heritage herself.
(Again, good work. This could do with being split up into paragraphs as well. There is a lot mentioned in this section, and you could even have a paragraph for each new personality trait. Also, you start a lot of sentences with she, try to change some of them. A suggestion, make a list of all the words you could use, e.g. Rhia, the singer etc.)

Strengths
   Obstinacy- Whether it is haggling for a good price or refusing something that goes against her moral fiber, Rhia is -and there is only one word for it- obstinate. (Explain how this helps her.)
   Social nature- This trait of Rhia's has made her a rather substantial amount of friends wherever she goes, and she can get along well with the biggest prig (though she may feel like smacking him in the face). She knows just how to interact with people. (Again, how does this help.)
   Dagger- This is her only weapon, but Rhia carries it well; she has known it since her late childhood in the R'unorian Isles. Though she proven that she has little use for it in her very social life, she is quite an opponent. Note: Rhia uses her R'unorain dagger for close combat on the rare occasions she uses it, and not a throwing weapon.

Weaknesses
   Obstinacy- Sometimes Rhia will just not budge from her viewpoint, no matter if it is wrong or right. Actually, this happens fairly often. In any case, she will go out of her way to revenge herself or her friends if she thinks that she or they have been wronged, even if things are not what they seem- not always an endearing trait. Unsurprisingly, she has gotten herself in trouble more than once as a result of her obstinacy, and very often makes the same mistake many times.
Naivety- To put it concisely, Rhia is young- only nineteen springs. She does not expect the bad things that come her way. She has been swindled a few times, and mugged as well, but has had the luck never to have been accosted. Knowledge of the world's ways will come in time, but for now, Rhia is unknowing. (Perhaps mention that she is unknowing in many ways of Santharia.)
Little strength- Rhia is not very strong at all, and attempts of living heavy things tax her, probably a result of her toil for a performing band, Road's Company (see History). (Explain how it hinders her.)

History
Living in the R. Isles, Rhia's family was of middle-class. They did not have the struggle for food and money, but they were not swamped with money either. It was a good environment for Rhia, the elder of two girls, to grow up in.

Now something must be said about Rhia's parents. They were as different as day and night. Her mother, Cadnari, had a harsh and controlling personality, while her father was mild-mannered and affectionate. Thus Rhia's mother was always the enforcer of discipline in the household; naturally, her father, Tolas, was the one the girls ran to for comfort, and they grew up favoring him, even though Rhia inherited a touch of her mother's personality and they were very alike at times.

Rhia, at the age of nine autumns, was introduced to the panpipes by her father (her mother rarely did anything spontaneous for her daughters). She grew instantly enamored of the instrument; it looked like something out of a fairytale, and its sound was pure and sweet- how could a little girl fail to love them? A neighbor who was seasoned in the panpipes agreed to teach the basics to young Rhia. Needless to say, her mother complained of the shrill, grating sound that emitted from the pipes while Rhia was beginning her instruction, but Tolas convinced Cadnari to allow their elder daughter to continue practicing.

When Rhia was ten and seven and her young sister Seli ten and five, a Baveras' Will came to their family's home and pronounced them chosen as disciples of Baveras, the sea goddess. Seli, a tender, sweet-tempered thing who took after her father, had a deep and abiding love for the goddess and was quite willing to devote her life to the goddess, but Rhia (predictably) was not. The life of a Baveras' Will was not for her, she insisted. Cadnari flew into a rage and threatened to expel Rhia from the house if she did not agree to become a Sister to the Baveras' Mother. Luckily, Tolas was able to persuade the woman not to take such action, and Rhia was allowed to stay. Still, however suavely the incident was smoothed over, ever after mother and daughter would bear a grudge against each other.

Rhia was born a performer, always doing something amusing, trying to catch the attention of everyone- and everyone literally. The identities of her audiences did not matter, only that they watched her and paid attention. She was forever doing something entertaining- for her family, for her friends, for people on the street. (As a result, she had many friends and grew quite gregarious, as explained further on.) It was only natural that Rhia should come around to singing eventually. This actually happened quite early, and she grew to love singing for others. She (and her willing audiences) soon realized that she had a lovely, though quite undeveloped, (which was to be expected- she was only a child) voice. A future as a singer of some sort was promising for her. Nonetheless, Rhia would ever want to be sure that what she was doing was skillful and first-rate, and all she knew was that she wanted her occupation to be a performer of some sort.

Now although Rhia and her mother were hardly close, some aspects of their personalities were similar- and it very well could be that that is the reason they did not get along. In any case, Rhia was different largely in one important way: she was social and knew how to get along with others. This came about in the ancient form of observing. She had oft watched Cadnari deal with merchants and traders and often not get what she wanted because she had a quick temper and an obstinate approach. Studying the interaction between them, Rhia learned the secrets of extrovert, which very much spurred on the social facet of her personality. It came to form a major part of her character.

A happening occurred that pushed Rhia and her mother out of their shaky, precarious relationship. One day Cadnari announced that, unbeknownst to the rest of the family, she had found a husband for her elder daughter. Now this man she spoke of was well into his later years, (he could have been Rhia's father!) corpulent, and pockmarked- it was only natural that his assumed bride would object, and object she did, just about raising the roof off of the house. Once again Cadnari evoked the old threat of evicting Rhia from the house, and once again Tolas attempted to mollify her. This time, however, she would not be put off, and refused to budge a figurative inch(Don’t use inch, try nailsbreadth.). A lifetime of spats and friction between she and her mother, the Baveras' Will incident, and now (Delete 2nd space.) this, (…in addition to the fact that the girl was a rebellious soul) proved utterly too much for Rhia. She packed many of her belongings, bid farewell to Tolas and Seli, who was now a Sister of Baveras, and, somehow forgetting to say goodbye to her mother, set out- though not without some tears.

After about a fortnight or so on a journey without a destination, Rhia soon realized that traveling on the road was not strawberries(Strawberries are called Fáberiges in Santharia.) and cream. She hadn't brought nearly enough food, she did not like sleeping on the hard ground, and many of the objects she had brought with her were useless, cumbersome, and took up valuable space in her haversack. She eventually (though, admittedly, not without regret) discarded these belongings.

A month into traveling, Rhia came upon a group of minstrels, thespians, and dancers that called themselves "Road's Company." Realizing her potential as a singer, they promptly made her an offer: They would provide her with food and shelter and let her tag along if she would help with their heavy labor. When she was a good enough singer, they would let her perform with the others. Rhia quickly agreed, as she was running out of victuals.

Rhia soon enough met a woman called Fegal. She was a middle-aged, slightly cantankerous woman who had been a singer for the Company in the past. This Fegal grew to like Rhia with her rebellious, social personality, and Rhia her. They became good friends, and in the manner of friends Fegal sought to help her. She began teaching Rhia how to sing so that her duties of toil (which took a heavy toll on Rhia) would be ended sooner. Fegal also insisted that, good as the panpipes were, Rhia learn an instrument that could accompany her voice. So the woman arranged for a shy, introversive lad by the name of Ganild to teach the lass the ropes of the lute. Rhia began progressing quickly. However, the lute would be second always to the panpipes.

This Ganild was just a year younger than Rhia, and not very comely of face. This was very unfortunate for him, as he grew certain affectionate feelings for the lass, and eventually worked up enough courage to present her with a bouquet of flowers to represent his feelings for her, as he was too timid to tell her with words. Rhia, however, was still very immature, and good looks were high on her list of features of an ideal beau. She rejected him as a suitor, not in a cruel manner at all, (indeed, she tried to be quite gentle with him) but it hurt him more than she thought it did. Ever afterwards Ganild would be even more shy and tentative with anything to do with romance. Rhia's lute lessons continued, but in a more hesitant manner on the part of Ganild. Fegal looked on Rhia's rejection with a disapproving eye. It is unknown whether the girl knew of Fegal's standpoint. If she did, she did not show it.

As briefly aforesaid, the labor Rhia was doing for Road's Company was taking a heavy toll on her body, and it was with great relief that the day she was allowed to perform with the Company was met, on the parts of Fegal, Ganild, (though he could not express it) and Rhia herself. She was allowed to sing with the other minstrels. Now there were two basic ways that the minstrels performed: as a group, and by their own selves. Rhia found that although she did enjoy singing with the others, she absolutely loved singing solo. The singled attention she got from the audience seemed to call to her, and this was the way she would sing through her days.

Things were going quite smoothly for Rhia and Road's Company when something happened that churned the well-being and contentedness of the Company into a frothy storm. There was a thief among them. Contents of their food store were disappearing. Most people were content to toss the blame on Rhia, the "new girl." After a few days of angry mutterings and gossip, our girl was presented with an ultimatum: Find the true thief within a half fortnight, or be deposited in the next city of their route. Needless to say, Rhia failed to find the culprit -her intellect stood with humanity and its emotions, not logic and evidence- and in seven days, the ultimatum was carried out. ...The next city Road's Company came across found itself with a young minstrel by the name of Rhia.

In one of the cities Rhia visited, she became acquainted with a noble; he was handsome and only six years her senior, but had a cruel and vain heart, even more vain than Rhia, and a different type of vain(vanity)- one might say self-effacing. In her own illogical way, Rhia felt obliged to fall in love with this man, and quickly became infatuated with him- not in love, but she did not see this. She did not see his cruelty until one day when she foolishly approached him, and he snubbed her. The man eschewed others that were below his rank, and it was certainly below him to marry a commoner. Rhia was humbled. She began to see things in different lights.

Fate is fickle, but sometimes proves to be kind. The wronged minstrel roamed, without destination, for quite a while -a moon cycle, perhaps- when by some incredible chance, she and Road's Company were reunited. They stumbled across each other in some random city, and Rhia was welcomed back into the performers' guild with open arms. The food thief had unwisely chosen to continue stealing their victuals even after Rhia had gone, thus proving that she was not the guilty party. After considerable efforts, the Company had finally rooted out the robber and thrown him out of their peaceful little band. Rhia resumed the role she had had before she left, and experienced true contentedness among the happy performers of the road.

Rhia's newfound peace with all the world was shattered with the tidings of Fegal's death. The aging woman had contracted an unknown illness some seventeen suns after Rhia's departure. One of their thespians, who had received minimal healing training, did all she could for Fegal, but she had only limited healing knowledge and didn't know how to cure her. There were no certified healers in the vicinity. All the Company was able to do was let her die comfortably, in the home of a kind farmer. The tragic happening struck Rhia hard. She wept for days on end, mourning deeply.

Being snubbed by the noble humbled Rhia some, but Fegal's death was the major experience that began Rhia's growth. It helped to humble her, wisen her, and, ultimately, mature her. Even now, after this recorded history is long come about, she is not fully mature, and never will be. It is an ongoing experience; we are always maturing- mentally, emotionally, spiritually. Slowly and painfully, Rhia begins to realize this. Tragic though this was, this experience was good for her in the long run.

The sadness was mellowed for Rhia by a first love with Ganild. Having become at least a little more humble from her rejection, she was finally able to look past his uncomely physical features and peer into his heart. She liked what she saw, and hesitantly made friends with him. The boy was very surprised- had she not turned him away as a suitor? But he was more than willing to be friendly with her; despite all that had happened, he still loved her. Soon their friendship, not unlike the caterpillar's evolution to the butterfly, became love. It was a perfect first love for Rhia- sweet, light, and tender, without ties or obligations. And yet it was also tinged with sadness, constantly reminding her of Fegal's death. The love between Rhia and Ganild went on for perhaps a year. And then its turning point came about. Now with a love such as this, there are two things that can happen: It can peter out, or become all the stronger. Both happened for the couple. Rhia's feelings for Ganild petered out. The boy was a wonderful person, but his personality was too mild for her. It was different for Ganild, unfortunately. He adored Rhia, and his love grew more. But she was through with this experience. It was time for her to move on. She told Ganild how she felt. He would love her long after she was gone, but he would heal eventually and move on as well. So it came about that the girl Rhia left both the boy Ganild and Road's Company.

Soon after her departure from the Company, Rhia made a purchase: a donkey, (with a saddle and saddlebags) to carry her belongings. As aforesaid, she cannot bear much weight, and such an animal makes it easier for her to travel. Not one for a great imagination, Rhia named the beast simply "Hoof." Hoof was a very stubborn donkey, unwilling to do his mistress's bidding. Life would be just a little bit more lackluster without each other's company. Not to say that they hold any affection for each other; in fact, their feelings border on hatred. Rhia does not provide luxurious accommodations for her donkey, but she does not abuse him. Overall, Hoof was a good buy.

In the following months, Rhia made a journey or two to her childhood home, visiting her father and sister. She refused to speak to her mother, and met with her father and sister in a place away from their dwelling. She still makes these visits, though because she travels more widely now, they are usually only once a twice a year. Rhia has yet to reconcile with Cadnari; she (like her mother) is too stubborn and proud to eat humble pie in this particular matter. Each believe that they are in the right, and each privately ache for each other's love. No, Rhia will not admit to be wrong, nor visit her mother, but maybe, just maybe, someday...

   And thus it is that the records of the history of Rhia of R’unorian Isles' is completed.

(A very nice history. My only concern is the fact that you never say she left the Isles of R’unor. Stories are usually in Santharia, so you will need to be there to participate in them.)

Weapons
-R'unorian dagger

Just a wayside note or two:
   -Rhia always keeps her dagger in its scabbard at her belt, as the women of R'unor do, but rarely needs to use it.
   -Rhia has recently become interested in the armoured fan, but has not yet had the opportunity to learn from a wielder or even buy one. Her sister, a disciple of Baveras, is learning how to wield the weapon, but is not good enough yet to teach it, and Rhia does not visit her enough to learn regularly.

Belongings
-Jade turtle pendant
-Four dresses
-One tunic
-One pair of breeches
-Two waterskins
-One chemise for sleeping in
-Two pairs of underclothes, frequently washed
-Haversack for victuals and small belongings

Familiar
"Hoof" is the name of Rhia's male Kiang donkey. He is a very stubborn, willful beast, and will purposefully go against his mistress's wishes. There is no love lost between them, to be succinct. They barely even tolerate each other. Rhia never gives any thought to his physical characteristics, but to those who do notice, he has a scruffy, dirty-brown, pelt, with a paler underbelly. His shaggy, bristly mane sometimes hangs over his large, dark blue eyes. His tail is of the same description. He has short, but thin legs, preceding small, horse-like hooves.

Well done Rhia! This is a very good CD. Once these changes are done, I’ll ask a mod to come over, if they haven’t already.

Mannix