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Fáiorríl
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Mélad'rhim


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« on: August 01, 2008, 04:39:30 AM »

Name: Fáiorríl

Gender: Female
Age: 582 (looks ~43,44 - mid forties K/T 62)
(39 - 41, span of 20 years. 41/581, 42/581, 43-44/582, 45-46/583)

Race: Elf
Tribe: Mélad’rhim

Occupation:

Title: Fallen Grey

Height: 1 peds, 2 fores, 2 palmspan (~6’1’’)
Weight: 1 pygge, 4 hebs, 1 hafeb, 5 ods (~165 lbs)

Hair Colour: Pale flaxen
Eye Colour: Grey

    Physical Appearance

Fáiorríl is a weathered grey elf who has spent much of her time traversing the harsh lands of Northern Sarvonia. Her skin is blanched and blemished by years of cold wind and signs of her quickening age are beginning to show. There are lines at the corners of her eyes and mouth that show up most noticeably when she laughs, and deep creases form between her brow when she frowns. She generally has a mild and welcoming expression, with an amiable grin and smiling eyes. Her posture is one of leisure and sway but it is occasionally jarred by the recurring aches and pains of a taxing lifestyle.

Her shoulders are broad and defined, her torso is long and her waist is slim. At the end of her arms are gnarled, elongated hands that seem to shake and quiver despite the strength one would assume them to possess. They are usually held close against her stomach or gripping her spear, or more often than not, signalling instructions to the young boy often seen close by her side. Her hair, straight and flaxen in colour, is worn pushed back off her face and adorned with a handful of kuglimz-styled dreads and metal rings.

Upon closer inspection one will find an array of old wounds, such as the partially severed ear on the left side of her face or the teeth and claw marks along her arms and shoulders. Also covering her skin are the grey tattoos of interlocking lines unique to her tribe. This intricate linework stems from the base of her spine, across her back, over her shoulders and down her arms, sometimes interrupted by scars. Her upper arms are left blank and a particular design is located between her shoulder blades – her first tattoo, received at mid-childhood as a tradition of her tribe.

  Clothing:

Being from the north, her clothing is very simple. Underneath everything she wears close-fitting pants and a sleeveless shirt made from thin fleece. A loose sleeveless tunic falls down to her thighs, held at her hips with a black leather belt and worn over top of nult'tum hide pants that fit up to her navel. The clasp for her belt is made of crudely hand-shaped herne. Some things held at her waist are a knife, a sachet of coins and a few trinket charms. Her boots are faded black leather lined with fur. She wears a nult'tum hide vest and leather braces on her wrists, knees and ankles. To protect her from the cold she wears a few layers of softened hides and furs, as well as a large, blanket-like cloak with holes for her arms and head. She also carries a durable bag over her shoulder that has seen many, many seasons of wear and tear.

  Personality:
Faiorril has always been a free spirit.

  Strengths:

Tracker – True to her tribe’s reputation, she is an excellent tracker capable of following a creature across the northern continent - not that she'll want to exert that much energy. This skill is greatly limited in cities or villages where an increased population can throw off the trail, and in unfamiliar southern regions where strange flora, fauna and terrain can confuse her.

Ambidextrous - Both her hands are dominant, letting her combine focus and energy when attempting to complete a task. It's a skill she developed over many decades of repetitive crafting and it makes up for her disability in some small way.

Weapon Skill, Spear - The spear is the main weapon of her tribe and her most proficient. She uses it like an extension of her body; to support her when she walks, indicate items out of reach, push open doors etc. She used to be quick and skillful in handling it as a weapon but her poor grip means that it can easily be dropped or knocked out of her hands and her dexterity is beginning to fail. She does not feel confident in her ability to fight.

Weapon Skill, Dagger – Centuries of using blades for practical applications has given Fáiorríl a lot of experience with using daggers or knives both as weapons and as tools. Though she may not be able to grip the weapon strongly enough to fend off an attacker nowadays, she at least knows the principals of where and how to strike fatally.

Resourceful – Life in the north as a nomadic grey elf has taught her to be creative when it comes to using the few materials at hand for survival. She also has experience with a number of practical skills, from tanning to foraging to husbandry to crafting weapons and equipment, since all of these duties would have fallen upon her at some point during her time with her tribe. Fáiorríl has the knowledge to be entirely self-sufficient in her homeland, though not necessarily the strength or energy.


  Weaknesses:

Hands – A debilitating injury to the nerves in her hands has given her difficulty gripping items firmly, performing delicate tasks that require coordination in the fingers and controlling her hand movements. She will often drop items or fumble with clasps. It takes tremendous amounts of concentration to steady herself when nervous or stressed and her condition can worsen to the point of complete disablement.

Hard of Hearing – One injury she sustained resulted in part of her left ear being severed and her hearing in that ear being damaged. She sometimes has trouble distinguishing the direction of noises and picking up on subtle sounds to her left.

Babysitting – Watching over a child leaves her a bit exposed and more tired than usual. She constantly keeps an eye on him and will put herself at great risk to protect him.

Northern-made – Though she is completely at home in the north, were she to travel south, many disadvantages would be brought upon her. She is not used to the climate and will likely suffer from the heat. Styrash is her first language, Kuglimz’seitre is her second, but her knowledge of Tharian is very sparse. When spoken clearly enough with accompanying hand gestures, Fáiorríl can generally string together a basic idea of what a Tharian-speaker is trying to say, though the language barrier is still just that – a barrier. Any non-elven folk from the south will have a hard time communicating with her.

Age - Faiorril has lasted much longer than her tribe's expected lifespan in the unforgiving north. She has entered the stage of an elf's life where the body begins rapidly aging and deteriorating, eventually culminating in death. She feels her end will come in a matter of years and this may affect the decisions she makes.

  History:

was born, did some stuff, grew up fine.
Met a guy, had a kid. Years go by.
Happiest days during the winter when the group stays at the coast. Recognizes she's not suited for nomadship. Meets up with another group, says farewell, travels with them towards settlements
Spends most of her time living alone outside of Naurooth, does small trips with humans end elves, goes back and forth between living in remote areas and close to populated areas.
Self-sufficient, works as a tracker, crafter, guide for extra money to get the things she can't get on her own. Has an accident, receives serious cold damage to her arms. begins losing feeling, abiility to control hands, seeks out town for help. healer does their best. Still left with disability. Loss of independence begins, spends more time inside of cities.
Becomes involved with a group of arthyron adventurers. Through them becomes involved with a number of homeless nauroothian children. 




  Weapons:

Two daggers
Spear

  Belongings: (kept inside her bag)


  Familiars:

  Name: Modén'cao
  Gender: Male
  Age:

  Race: mostly human, ⅛ elf
  Tribe: Kuglimz’torik (Nauroothian,) Arthyron

  Appearance:
  Height: 2 fores, 2 palmspans, 8 nailsbreadths (~3 ft)
  Weight: 3 hebs, 2 ods (~35 lbs)
  Hair colour: Coppery Blonde
  Eye colour: Pale Grey

  Physical Appearance:
Modén'cao is short and slender with very pale skin and a few freckles on his nose and cheeks. His hair is a medium blonde that shines red in the sunlight and his eyes, very large and grey, are often open wide with curiosity.

  Clothing:
When not running around in the more comfortable buff, this little child wears layers of ill-fitting, dirty clothes collected from a number of places.

  Personality:
Modén'cao is a very curious, very cautious little boy. He speaks a mash of Kuglims-seitre, Styrash and babbling gibberish with a few Tharian words thrown in, which can make him vary hard to understand by those unfamiliar with the first two languages. He is accustomed to seeing all walks of life in his port-town home, so he may not be as frightened by strange new beings as his caretakers would like him to be.

He has a very active imagination and can spend hours in his little world.
...


  Strengths:
Being small, he can fit into tiny places or slip past people unnoticed. He also has bouts of high energy that can tire out many adults, and when he falls asleep he can sleep through anything.

  Weaknesses:
He is feeble and tiny, can easily be overpowered by anyone and he is completely helpless without someone to take care of him. He lacks understanding of most situations and problems and cannot follow complex instructions. It is also easy to manipulate him with false promises, candy, or by taking advantage of the fact that he doesn’t know any better than to trust a seemingly kind adult.

   History:
Moden'cao's mother was a Nauroothian tavern wench and his father was a sailor on shore leave. The drunken nights were long forgotten by the father and the mother had no intentions of raising a child. Moden'cao was abandoned and taken in by

  Belongings:
A colourful wool blanket
A stuffed doll, chalk and slate
A very tattered copy of the Cárpa'dosía book I

  Familiar:
the fuzzle who sits in his pocket. One of the Arthyron bought her from a southern market and brought her back to Naurooth, where she was then given to him as a gift. He was told to keep her warm, since she isn't made for the cold.
« Last Edit: June 17, 2011, 07:57:46 AM by Fáiorríl » Logged

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Mélad'rhim


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« Reply #1 on: August 01, 2008, 05:41:26 AM »

I'm still thinking of a last name and title..
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Eléyr Fásamár
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« Reply #2 on: August 01, 2008, 01:23:39 PM »

Hiya Faiorill! Welcome to Santharia! My comments shall be in Blue!

   Name: Fáiorríl

   Gender: female <--Capitalize Female
   Age: 335  (Looks 31, k/u 42) <--I have no idea what the 'u' is supposed to stand for, perhaps you meant 't' as in 'training'? I would capitalize the K and U as well.

   Race: partial elf (1/4 human) Capitalize Partial Elf and Human
   Tribe: Mélad'rhim, Remusian
   Occupation: Trader
   Title:

   Appearance
   Height: 1 ped, 2 fores, 1 palmspan
   Weight: 1 pygge, 4 hebs, 1 hafeb
   Hair colour: Pale blonde
   Eye colour: grey <--Again, Grey capitalized would be best here, with it being the first letter


   Physical Appearance:
Faiorríl has an androgynistic<--This is a very modern, medical term, and thus should be removed, perhaps masculine would be a sufficient replacement? look about her, being broader than the typical elf with wide muscular shoulders and a long torso. She has a gaunt and weathered face, with lines forming at the edges of her sunken, stormy eyes that are most noticeable when she laughs. Her brows seem constantly furrowed in thought, and the corners of her mouth habitually curl in a grin when she speaks. Often pushed back off her face is a tangle of pale flaxen hair, and there are some dreaded locks that are tied with strings, beads or metal rings. Over-all she seems colourless, with fair creamy skin, grey eyes, and light hair.
(Space New Paragraph)
   In-between the shoulder-blades(comma) is a circular grey tattoo of interlocking lines, unique to her tribe. Spreading from there, the lines travel along her shoulders down both of her arms and over her body, but the upper arm is left blank. She has many scars from battle, the most noticeable being the lashes across her back, her severed left ear, a slash along her thigh and several large scrapes above her eyebrow and on her knees. Usually surrounding her is the strong, sweet smell of smoke and dirt, since she loves sitting by a campfire or smoking pipeweed, and her clothes are only washed when she swims or it rains.

   Clothing:
Being from the north, her clothing is very simple. She has a thin, sleeveless shirt made from fleece, light brown in colour. Her pants are made of animal hide, fitting close to the skin and held at the top by a black, leather belt. It holds purses with money, tools, a dagger, a scabbard, and a few sachets of goods. The clasp for her belt is crudely hand shaped herne, but uniquely charming none the less<--nonetheless is all one word ;) - as are most things she makes. Her boots are faded black leather and fit above the ankle. A leather vest provides protection, along with braces on her wrists, ankles, and one on her weak knee. Over everything she wears a soft, woollen cloak to stay warm and carries a large bag that hangs over her shoulder.

   Personality:
Fáiorríl is a slow, methodical type. She may need more time to think things out, but she is quite intelligent and should not be mistaken as stupid. She is very observant and often studies her surroundings from a distance, seemingly unaware. Not much of a talker, she is calm and mature; one might even call her wise. She is unapologetic and sees nothing wrong with the dark and morbid, and occasionally finds delight in disturbing others. She despises being told what to do and, though respectful, will refuse any authority that is pushed on her. Having dealt with scummy people she is also very cautious, rarely ever trusting others.
(Space New Paragraph)
   As a Mélad'rhim nomad, she understands the benefits of working together and will help to create a balanced 'family', but also has trouble being tied down to one spot. As soon as she feels trapped she will try to distance herself, if not leave entirely. She is very whimsical, acting on intuition and 'gut-feeling' a lot of the time. There is also question of her sanity, because anyone who pays close attention will notice her quirky habit of speaking to inanimate objects, random bursts of muffled laughter, and her tendency to repeat actions several times...<--Delete two periods (Elipsis are a bit unofficial, so discouraged) It shall be noted that these, along with other traits, were present well before the consumption of alcohol and vaninen - although they've worsened since.

   Strengths:
Jack-of-all-trades - her<--Her lifestyle in the north has taught her to be completely self-reliant and to live off the land. She can hunt, track, tan hides, make clothing, weapons, and cook among other things. This is a lot combined in one. I would make sure you say (as J.O.A.T.'s suggests) that she is only mediocre in each of these things, and it would perhaps be best to change this title to 'Survival Skills' as they all fall under their category. If they are all the subsects of the same skill, it should be okay to combine them, but J.O.A.T.'s suggests that it would included skills in art, music, etc. as well, and would not be able to be included as one weakness. So a title change might be sufficient here.

Ambidextrous - both<--Both hands are dominant, letting her get things done quicker, as well as giving freedom to multitask and use two weapons at once.

Weapon - she<--She is highly skilled with the dagger and spear, has decent knowledge of swordplay, and is somewhat trained with the bow. All skills with any weapons, no matter how minuscule, should be listed as their own strentgth, with one to two sentences describing how skilled she is with each. Four weapons is a bit to many, I would recommend excelling in one, while being not so great, but not horrible with the other two.

Art - she<--She is very artistic, being good at drawing, carving, poetry, and can sing and play the lyre, even if a bit rough.

You've got a lot of skills here, to many. IMHO. Weapons, survival skills, singing, artistic expertise, you might want to limit her to one 'class' per'se, rather than having her be good at 'everything.' If you want this to be your survival/weapon character, you can always make an additional, artsy character later, or vice versa, but she certainly seems to be good at everything.

   Weaknesses:
Hands - the<--The shaking of her hands has dampened her many skills, limiting her abilities to things that don't require precision.

Can't swim - if<--If needed she can splash across a river, but extended time in deep water will most likely drown her, as she cannot tread water. She does, however, love playing in shallow lakes or rivers.
The average peasant in a medieval society probably did not know how to swim, and others have been told to remove this weakness in the past. If you took it a step farther and said she was deathly afraid of all bodies of water, this would count as a weakness, albeit a smaller one.

Mostly illiterate - at<--At one time she had learned the alphabet and could read basic text, but limited exposure to reading during her life has mostly erased her literacy. She is currently working on learning again, but progress is slow.
Once again, the average peasant cannot read. The fact that she can read even a bit is counted as a strength, just a small one, so this is certainly not a weakness.

Her son - having<--Having to care for a child leaves her slightly vulnerable and tired. She constantly keeps an eye on him and will put herself at great risk to protect him.

You list two weaknesses in other places, that should be put here to help balance:

Hard of Hearing - She's missing her left ear ;)

Battle Scars - Perhaps these lashings on her back occasionally cause her grief, by leaving the bones in that area weakened or something?

Weak Knee -

 
History:
Fáiorríl was originally born to the Melad'rhim in Northern Sarvonia, with a mix of human blood from her father who descended from the Ice Tribes. She stayed with them for many years, traveling the lands from the Water Marshes to the tip of Kru'ul and back, facing many dangers and enduring the harsh conditions of the north.

   Growing up(comma) she showed no interest in developing relationships, and most often kept to herself. She was a hard worker and put great effort into supporting her tribe, even though she was a little distant. Her particular strengths were in crafting, such as making tools, clothing, and shelter, and her favourite thing to do was sit in front of the campfire.

   As a young adult she left her tribe, hoping to explore and experience the North on her own. She wandered the Celeste Lowlands as a solitary nomad, often spending time with the Kuglimz tribes and clans that she encountered, as well as a few groups of Injérin elves. She learned many different skills, such as spinning and weaving fleece, horseback riding and brewing various drinks.

   She also learned the way of battle, having to defend herself against wild beasts, thieves and orcs. Though her main method contained spears, daggers and hand-to-hand combat, she was given basic training in archery and swordplay. She wasn't exactly an expert in technique, but her nimble hands and strength made killing very easy. Who did she receive training from, if she traveled on her own?

   Once, while stopping to speak with a shady crew of men, she was suddenly held prisoner and brought to another gang. She was tied and whipped, then forced to carry crates along with several other prisoner slaves. These men were criminals transporting illegal goods, and after waiting calmly for the right moment, she broke free. As a fierce, sturdy fighter she killed two of them and injured a few more before escaping into the night, leaving behind the other slaves - some of which were children.

   Fáiorríl then traveled to Naurooth to get out of the wilderness, setting up service as craftswoman and tracker to earn lodging. She created trinkets, tools and clothing that she decorated with her tribe's unique artwork, and later sold them in the market. She earned lots of money which she spent on re-equipping herself, buying fancy food, quality clothing, and resources to ensure self-sustainability.

   After three years of living in Naurooth she traveled north to the Eight Winds bay, this time as an artist and mercenary. She meandered through the Arthyrón settlements taking jobs to kill troublesome beasts, retrieve stolen objects and create commissioned works of art. It was during these days she questioned her devotion to Avá, realising that over the past century her view of gods and goddesses had become muddied. She still worshipped Avá and Coór equally, and felt the presence of the Aviaría each day, but for whatever reason their magic was jaded. She also got into the habit of finding various goods in the markets, such as pipeweed, cha'ah, and strong intoxicating drinks.

   For another twelve years Fáiorríl inhabited the northern bay, idly wandering around and finding ways to occupy her mind in-between odd jobs and random expeditions away from the city to preserve sanity. She discovered the art of music and learned to play a handcrafted lyre, on the streets as well as in taverns. Her songs were rough and simple, but carried a haunting and melancholic melody that captivated audiences.

   She joined company with a group of Arthyrón sailors and sailed to Worldquest for a change of scenery. When they made port and had spent two nights in the town drinking sailor's stingo, Fáiorríl got caught in a rough brawl that erupted inside a tavern. A group of men were fighting with a big, burly blacksmith, all drunk and probably arguing over a previous sale, and a very large table was thrown. Three of the men and the heavy table landed on Fáiorríl as she tried to duck out of the way. Both hands and her left knee were crushed, as well as her shoulder which dislocated. She would later find it funny that her worst injuries came from a fight she had nothing to do with.

   Her knee remained weak but didn’t give her much trouble, though her hands never fully recovered. They remained uncontrollably shaky and made most tasks a challenge to complete. She could no longer do archery, weaving, fine detail carving, or even tattooing - something she had greatly prided herself with.

   The crew took pity and offered her a life on their ship, having grown fond of the grey elf's company. Most of her time aboard the ship was spent rehabilitating her hands, entertaining the others with her music and stories, decorating the ship (carefully and with great effort to hold a steady hand) and drinking. She stayed beneath the deck a lot, avoiding most conversation, but eventually took fancy with the captain and stayed in his quarters. Her dark, mysterious simplicity was intriguing, and though she kept to herself, she made her way into the hearts of the crew. She ended up staying with them for many years, overcoming her disagreement with exploring the open sea.

   They sailed from port to port, gathering goods and trading them again, usually participating in black market sales. The crew always had exotic foods and drinks, and though Fáiorríl had smoked before, it only became habitual once she fell into the life on board.
(Space New Paragraph?)
   She was 225 when she gave birth the captain's son, Meeko. She raised the boy in Silvin for six years before she gave him to his father's life on the sea, and she left. From here, feeling older and homesick for the first time, she returned to the Mélad’rhim elves and told them about her adventures. She had to work extra hard with her shaky hands to survive, but concentration and patience kept her going and she enjoyed the challenge.

   She fell in love with another half-elf named Toslet, whose father was a Mélad'rhim and his mother a kuglim<--Kuglimz peasant. Toslet was the most amazing person she had ever met, being courteous, noble, and sweet, and she had finally found somewhere to stay: beside him. She was with him and her tribe for another century when she gave birth to her second son, Modén'cao, so named because he loved to play in dirt.

   It was the day her husband died that Fáorríl finally decided to leave the north. She sought out Meeko's ship, then sailed south with her three year old son. Once at the southern ports, her bad habits started again, but always in moderation and never endangering Modén.

 Weapons:
Two daggers
Spear
Helcrani short sword

   Belongings: (kept inside her bag)
A small wooden box containing charcoal
A pompion flask filled with leithe, another with fresh water
A small bone pipe with a herne-metal bowl
A tied leather package filled with shredded pipeweed, another with cha'ah
A small corked and wooden jar with vaninen powder
Carving tools, sewing tools, a few squares of cloth
A collection of prayers to the gods, and some blank parchments
A small kettle
A round stone statuette resembling a woman, representative of Avá

   Familiars:

   Name:Modén'cao, her son
   Gender: male <--Male
   Age: 6 (appears 4)

   Race: partial elf (app. 2/5 human) <--2/5 is a bit to precise as a decimal, just say 'less than half' I think. (Capitalize Partial Elf)
   Tribe: Mélad'rhim, Remusian/Kuglimz
   Occupation: Aspiring Astronomer
   Title: Modén'cao the Meek <--You can't have a title for your familiar, as there is only room beneath your name for one.

   Appearance
   Height: 2 fores, 2 palmspans, 8 nailsbreadths
   Weight: 3 hebs, 2 ods
   Hair colour: Reddish Blonde
   Eye colour: grey <--Grey

   Physical Appearance:
Modén'cao is short and slender, with very pale skin and a few freckles on his nose and cheeks. His hair is dark blonde that shines red in the sunlight and is always a messy tangle. His eyes are very large and grey, and are often open wide with curiosity. They are slightly sunken, like his mother's. Modén is almost always dirty, loving nothing more than playing in mud.
(Space New Paragraph)
   Clothing:
His pants are wool, as is his over-sized tunic with long sleeves. He wears colourful stockings and soft, leather boots, and keeps a cozy blanket wrapped snugly around him most of the time. His mother also made him a woollen cap that he sometimes wears.
(Space New Paragraph)
   Personality:
Modén'cao is a quick little boy, well mannered, with a desire to learn and a grand imagination. He is very cautious and needs to know details before making decisions, and though timid, he can be very sociable once he gets comfortable. Astronomy and animals have always fascinated him and he can spend hours absorbedly studying the sky or bugs. He is very hands-on, and every chance he gets he will ask questions - a lot of questions.

   Strengths:
 Being small, he can fit into tiny places or slip past people unnoticed. (Space New Line)
 He also has high stamina and energy, often tiring out adults.
   Weaknesses:
 Anyone can easily push him over, he is weak, and without his mother or other adults to protect him he would be helpless in the face of danger.

   Belongings:
A colourful wool blanket, full of dirt
Some toys, a stuffed doll, chalk and slate
A very tattered copy of the Cárpa'dosía book I
(Space New Paragraph)
   Familiar:
Sirish, the field mouse, who sits in his pocket. Modén found her as a baby and raised her; she is now 1 and a half years old. She is fat and lazy, friendly, and Modén is careful not to let her get lost or stepped on.
   
   Faiorril and her son get along very well. He runs around her, catching bugs, picking up rocks, asking questions, and she very patiently humours his curiosities and answers his questions. When around strangers he will hide behind her, holding tightly to her cloak and waiting for the O.K<--okay to step forward. Fáiorríl is very protective of her son and will not let strangers come near until she feels it is safe. Even though she herself is not interested in books or sciences, she supports his interest in astronomy. She is very laid back and gives him lots of freedom to learn and explore, but as soon as he misbehaves she disciplines him sharply. He tries very hard to make her happy, and whenever he is scolded he feels guilty and shameful.

You have a very nice writing style, Faiorril, and this was a pleasure to read. I'm going to put up the pencil icon while you work on my comments, but feel free to return it to the exclamation mark and notify us when your finished with them, along with any questions you might have. Hope we can get you your title soon! :)

~Cordially~
Eléyr Fásamár
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« Reply #3 on: August 02, 2008, 12:14:46 AM »

Alright. I’ve made my corrections, the main ones in orange.
Oops, the ‘u’ was for understanding… we use k/u for marking in school. Yes, I realise she had a bit too many skills. I was just so excited I couldn’t decide what to make her! Well at least she wasn't a brewer, too.  grin I was hoping that her hands would really downplay her strengths, because in my mind she actually is a weak character. She should be better now. I lessened her artistic abilities, so even though she does linework, tattooing, and play music as a hobby, she isn’t madly skilled.

Thank you so much, Eléyr.
I’m ready for more comments.

I've just added a few things: her title, Creaking Giant, refering to her newly changed height and stiffness. I picture her joints creaking as she slowly moves.
Farsightedness, to support the distance she keeps from people.
« Last Edit: August 02, 2008, 11:42:49 AM by Fáiorríl » Logged

Fáiorríl (Currently under reconstruction)
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« Reply #4 on: August 02, 2008, 03:37:44 PM »

Hello Fáiorríl.  Comments in blue.  By any chance, do you do IB?  NAyways, back to commenting. :D
Name: Fáiorríl Do you want a surname?  It’s not compulsory, but it is a nice touch.

   Gender: Female
   Age: 335  (Looks 31, K/T 42)

   Race: Partial Elf (1/4 Human)
   Tribe: Mélad'rhim, Remusian
   Occupation: Trader
   Title: Creaking Giant

   Appearance
   Height: 2 peds, 4 nailsbreadths
   Weight: 1 pygge, 4 hebs, 1 hafeb
   Hair colour: Pale blonde
   Eye colour: Grey


   Physical Appearance:
Fáiorríl has a somewhat masculine look about her, being broader than the typical elf with wide muscular shoulders and a long torso. She is very tall and easily towers over most men and elves. She has a gaunt and weathered face, with lines forming at the edges of her sunken, stormy eyes that are most noticeable when she laughs. Her brows seem constantly furrowed in thought, and the corners of her mouth habitually curl in a grin when she speaks. Often pushed back off her face is a tangle of pale flaxen hair, and there are some dreaded locks that are tied with strings, beads or metal rings. Overall she seems colourless, with fair creamy skin, grey eyes, and light hair.

   In-between her shoulder blades, is a circular grey tattoo of interlocking lines, unique to her tribe. Spreading from there, the lines travel along her shoulders down both of her arms and over her body, but the upper arm is left blank. She has many scars from battle, the most noticeable being the lashes across her back, her severed left ear, a slash along her thigh and several large scrapes above her eyebrow and on her knees. Usually surrounding her is the strong, sweet smell of smoke and dirt, since she loves sitting by a campfire or smoking pipeweed, and her clothes are only washed when she swims or it rains.

   Clothing:
Being from the north, her clothing is very simple. She has a thin, sleeveless shirt made from fleece, light brown in colour. Her pants are made of animal hide, fitting close to the skin and held at the top by a black, leather belt. It holds purses with money, tools, a dagger, a scabbard, and a few sachets of goods. The clasp for her belt is crudely hand shaped herne, but uniquely charming nonetheless - as are most things she makes. Her boots are faded black leather and fit above the ankle. A leather vest provides protection, along with braces on her wrists, ankles, and one on her weak knee. Over everything she wears a soft, hooded poncho to stay warm and carries a large bag that hangs over her shoulder.

   Personality:
Fáiorríl is a slow, methodical type. She may need more time to think things out, but she is quite intelligent and should not be mistaken as stupid. She is very observant and often studies her surroundings from a distance, seemingly unaware. Not much of a talker, she is calm and mature; one might even call her wise. Just so you know, this will affect your RPing.  By all means keep it, just warning you. She is unapologetic and sees nothing wrong with the dark and morbid, and occasionally finds delight in disturbing others. She despises being told what to do and, though respectful, will refuse any authority that is pushed on her. Having dealt with scummy people she is also very cautious, rarely ever trusting others.

   As a Mélad'rhim nomad, she understands the benefits of working together and will help to create a balanced 'family', but also has trouble being tied down to one spot. As soon as she feels trapped she will try to distance herself, if not leave entirely. She is very whimsical, acting on intuition and 'gut-feeling' a lot of the time. There is also question of her sanity, because anyone who pays close attention will notice her quirky habit of speaking to inanimate objects, random bursts of muffled laughter, and her tendency to repeat actions several times. It shall be noted that these, along with other traits, were present well before the consumption of alcohol and vaninen - although they've worsened since.

   Strengths:
Survival Skills - Her lifestyle in the north has taught her to be completely self-reliant and to live off the land. She can hunt, track, tan hides, make clothing, weapons, and cook among other things, just well enough to support herself.

Ambidextrous – Both her hands are dominant, letting her get things done quicker, as well as giving freedom to multitask and use two weapons at once.

Weapon Skill, Spear - The spear is the main weapon of her tribe and her most proficient. It is like an extension of her body. Perhaps explain this a bit more,

Weapon Skill, Sword - Used as an alternative if her spear is thrown or broken. Her ability with a blade is modest, but she is capable of causing enough damage to defend herself.

Music- (Delete 2nd space) She can play the lyre roughly. Explain how this helps.  Also, how would she play with shaky hands.

   Weaknesses:
Hands - The shaking of her hands has dampened her many skills, limiting her abilities to things that don't require precision.  Could you explain this a bit more?  Why do her hands shake?  It confused me a bit.  Perhaps just say ‘After a brawl in a tavern, in which she damaged her hands, Fáiorríl was often unable to control her hands because of their shaking’, or something like that.  Also, just a suggestion, maybe she has worse shakings depending on her emotions, take it or leave it.

Hard of Hearing - Her left ear was severed, reducing her hearing on that side. She has some trouble distinguishing the direction of noises, and she makes sure to keep her left side guarded, like sitting with it to the wall, to avoid being snuck up on.

Battle Wounds - All her fighting and injuries have left her weakened, bringing aches and pains to her body where old scars have healed over. Many mornings she will wake up sore and stiff, needing time to stretch out before being fully mobile. This leaves her vulnerable to ambushes when sleeping, since she cannot readily defend herself.

Weak Knee - Prolonged walking or stress on her knee irritates the joints, eventually causing a painful limp if she does not rest. It will often buckle if pressure is put on it, and this can worsen the injury.

Her son - Having to care for a child leaves her slightly vulnerable and tired. She constantly keeps an eye on him and will put herself at great risk to protect him.

Farsighted - A natural impairment that has developed with age. Objects within one ped of her face are blurry, worsening as they get closer. As a result she keeps a distance from people, so as to be able to see their faces when talking. She does not mind being close to people she trusts or loves.
 
History:
Fáiorríl was originally born to the Mélad'rhim in Northern Sarvonia, with a mix of human blood from her father who descended from the Ice Tribes. She stayed with them for many years, traveling the lands from the Water Marshes to the tip of Kru'ul and back, facing many dangers and enduring the harsh conditions of the north.

   Growing up, she showed no interest in developing relationships, and most often kept to herself. She was a hard worker and put great effort into supporting her tribe, even though she was a little distant. Her particular strengths were in crafting, such as making tools, clothing, and shelter, and her favourite thing to do was sit in front of the campfire.

   As a young adult she left her tribe, hoping to explore and experience the North on her own. She wandered the Celeste Lowlands as a solitary nomad, often spending time with the Kuglimz tribes and clans that she encountered, as well as a few groups of Injérin elves. She learned many different skills, such as spinning and weaving fleece, horseback riding and brewing various drinks.

   She also learned the way of battle, having to defend herself against wild beasts, thieves and orcs. Though her main method contained spears, knives and hand-to-hand combat, she was given basic training in swordplay from the warriors she stayed with, in return for her services within the clan. She was nowhere near an expert in technique, but her nimble hands and strength made killing very easy.

   Once, while stopping to speak with a shady crew of men, she was suddenly held prisoner and brought to another gang. She was tied and whipped, then forced to carry crates along with several other prisoner slaves. These men were criminals transporting illegal goods, and after waiting calmly for the right moment, she broke free. As a fierce, sturdy fighter she killed two of them and injured a few more before escaping into the night, leaving behind the other slaves - some of which were children.

   Fáiorríl then traveled to Naurooth to get out of the wilderness, setting up service as craftswoman and tracker to earn lodging. She created trinkets, tools and clothing that she decorated with her tribe's unique artwork, and later sold them in the market. She earned lots of money which she spent on re-equipping herself, buying fancy food, quality clothing, and resources to ensure self-sustainability.

   After three years of living in Naurooth she traveled north to the Eight Winds bay, this time as an artist and mercenary. She meandered through the Arthyrón settlements taking jobs to kill troublesome beasts, retrieve stolen objects and create commissioned works of art. It was during these days she questioned her devotion to Avá, realising that over the past century her view of gods and goddesses had become muddied. She still worshipped Avá and Coór equally, and felt the presence of the Aviaría each day, but for whatever reason their magic was jaded. She also got into the habit of finding various goods in the markets, such as pipeweed, cha'ah, and strong intoxicating drinks. As you removed the strength with art except for the lyre, how can she create commissioned art?

   For another twelve years Fáiorríl inhabited the northern bay, idly wandering around and finding ways to occupy her mind in-between odd jobs and random expeditions away from the city to preserve sanity. She discovered the art of music and learned to play a handcrafted lyre, on the streets as well as in taverns. Her songs were rough and simple, but carried a haunting and melancholic melody that captivated audiences.

   She joined company with a group of Arthyrón sailors and sailed to Worldquest for a change of scenery. When they made port and had spent two nights in the town drinking sailor's stingo, Fáiorríl got caught in a rough brawl that erupted inside a tavern. A group of men were fighting with a big, burly blacksmith, all drunk and probably arguing over a previous sale, and a very large table was thrown. Three of the men and the heavy table landed on Fáiorríl as she tried to duck out of the way. Both hands and her left knee were crushed, as well as her shoulder which dislocated. She would later find it funny that her worst injuries came from a fight she had nothing to do with.

   Her knee remained weak but didn’t give her much trouble, though her hands never fully recovered. They remained uncontrollably shaky and made most tasks a challenge to complete. She could no longer do archery, weaving, fine detail carving, or even tattooing - something she had greatly prided herself with.

   The crew took pity and offered her a life on their ship, having grown fond of the grey elf's company. Most of her time aboard the ship was spent rehabilitating her hands, entertaining the others with her music and stories, decorating the ship (carefully and with great effort to hold a steady hand) and drinking. She stayed beneath the deck a lot, avoiding most conversation, but eventually took fancy with the captain and stayed in his quarters. Her dark, mysterious simplicity was intriguing, and though she kept to herself, she made her way into the hearts of the crew. She ended up staying with them for many years, overcoming her disagreement with exploring the open sea.

   They sailed from port to port, gathering goods and trading them again, usually participating in black market sales. The crew always had exotic foods and drinks, and though Fáiorríl had smoked before, it only became habitual once she fell into the life on board.

   She was 225 when she gave birth the captain's son, Meeko. She raised the boy in Silvin for six years before she gave him to his father's life on the sea, and she left. From here, feeling older and homesick for the first time, she returned to the Mélad’rhim elves and told them about her adventures. She had to work extra hard with her shaky hands to survive, but concentration and patience kept her going and she enjoyed the challenge.

   She fell in love with another half-elf named Toslet, whose father was a Mélad'rhim and his mother a Kuglim peasant. Toslet was the most amazing person she had ever met, being courteous, noble, and sweet, and she had finally found somewhere to stay: beside him. She was with him and her tribe for another century when she gave birth to her second son, Modén'cao, so named because he loved to play in dirt.

   It was the day her husband died that Fáiorríl finally decided to leave the north. She sought out Meeko's ship, then sailed south with her three year old son. Once at the southern ports, her bad habits started again, but always in moderation and never endangering Modén.

 Weapons:
Two daggers You don’t have this as strength so you will either have to add one or remove these.
Spear
Helcrani short sword

   Belongings: (kept inside her bag)
A small wooden box containing charcoal
A pompion flask filled with leithe, another with fresh water
A small bone pipe with a herne-metal bowl
A tied leather package filled with shredded pipeweed, another with cha'ah
A small corked and wooden jar with vaninen powder
Carving tools, sewing tools, a few squares of cloth
A collection of prayers to the gods, and some blank parchments
A small kettle
A round stone statuette resembling a woman, representative of Avá
A handcrafted lyre

   Familiars:

   Name:(space)Modén'cao, her son
   Gender: Male
   Age: 6 (appears 4)

   Race: Partial Elf (less than half Human)
   Tribe: Mélad'rhim, Remusian/Kuglimz
   Occupation: Aspiring Astronomer

   Appearance
   Height: 2 fores, 2 palmspans, 8 nailsbreadths
   Weight: 3 hebs, 2 ods
   Hair colour: Reddish Blonde
   Eye colour: Grey

   Physical Appearance:
Modén'cao is short and slender, with very pale skin and a few freckles on his nose and cheeks. His hair is dark blonde that shines red in the sunlight and is always a messy tangle. His eyes are very large and grey, and are often open wide with curiosity. They are slightly sunken, like his mother's. Modén is almost always dirty, loving nothing more than playing in mud.

   Clothing:
His pants are wool, as is his over-sized tunic with long sleeves. He wears colourful stockings and soft, leather boots, and keeps a cozy blanket wrapped snugly around him most of the time. His mother also made him a woollen cap that he sometimes wears.

   Personality:
Modén'cao is a quick little boy, well mannered, with a desire to learn and a grand imagination. He is very cautious and needs to know details before making decisions, and though timid, he can be very sociable once he gets comfortable. Astronomy and animals have always fascinated him and he can spend hours absorbedly studying the sky or bugs. He is very hands-on, and every chance he gets he will ask questions - a lot of questions.

   Strengths:
 Being small, he can fit into tiny places or slip past people unnoticed. He also has high stamina and energy, often tiring out adults.

   Weaknesses:
 Anyone can easily push him over, he is weak, and without his mother or other adults to protect him he would be helpless in the face of danger.

   Belongings:
A colourful wool blanket, full of dirt
Some toys, a stuffed doll, chalk and slate
A very tattered copy of the Cárpa'dosía book I

   Familiar:
Sirish, the field mouse, who sits in his pocket. Modén found her as a baby and raised her; she is now one and a half years old. She is fat and lazy, friendly, and Modén is careful not to let her get lost or stepped on.
   
   Fáiorríl and her son get along very well. He runs around her, catching bugs, picking up rocks, asking questions, and she patiently humours his curiosities and answers whenever she can. When around strangers he will hide behind her, holding tightly to her cloak and waiting for the okay to step forward. Fáiorríl is very protective of her son and will not let strangers come near until she feels it is safe. Even though she herself is not interested in books or sciences, she supports his interest in astronomy. She is very laid back and gives him lots of freedom to learn and explore, but as soon as he misbehaves she disciplines him sharply. He idolizes her and is in awe of everything she does, and whenever he is scolded he feels guilty and ashamed.

Well Done!  This is a good CD, and I just love longer histories, they are definitely my favourite part.  There isn't a lot I see wrong with it.  I don't think I title should be far away.

Mannix
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« Reply #5 on: August 02, 2008, 04:02:52 PM »

Hello Fáiorríl and welcome to Santharia! I only have time for a light comment regarding this strength.
Quote
Survival Skills - Her lifestyle in the north has taught her to be completely self-reliant and to live off the land. She can hunt, track, tan hides, make clothing, weapons, and cook among other things, just well enough to support herself.
Every skill you have listed here is a strength in and of itself. The average peasant isn't a hunter, tracker, tanner of hides, clothing maker, weapon maker though I am sure cooking isn't out of the ordinary. Every skill you have listed other than cooking will require it's own strength listing, with definitions of how good she is in each. Many players have one of those as major forms of income, yet you have them by the half-dozen.
~Sincerely~
Cáo fá cár'tuulén:Twen Araerwen
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« Reply #6 on: August 05, 2008, 02:42:50 AM »

Okay. Apologies for the delay.
Mannix: (what's IB?) What kind of expectations are put on a 'wise-ish' character that I will need to uphold? And if I can find a decent surname that fits well, I will use it, but if not I'd rather go without. That shouldn't be a problem?

Twen: ack. I've chopped it down to tracking, which should be the only prominent one since her tribe is renown for it, and making her without would be an injustice. Other than that, can I safely assume the average peasant cannot afford to buy professionally made clothing and therefore finds their own way to cover themselves, as well as build their own shelter, and make their own basic tools? I just want her to have the knowledge and innovation it takes to survive, especially considering her lifestyle.
If not, I can list out more specific strengths like you said.

I want to make her really tall, but not freakishly. Is her current height okay? I've taken out her sword skill and replaced it with the dagger, which she also uses as a tool, so she shouldn't be very overpowered anymore. I see this character as being fairly weak - she spends more time sitting around a campfire than anything else.

Ready for more comments to catch any more contradictions I may've created.  grin
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Eléyr Fásamár
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« Reply #7 on: August 05, 2008, 02:59:46 AM »

2 peds, 4 nailsbreadth would be the average height for our tallest elven tribe, the Kayr, and would be pretty tall compared to everyone else. It's *almost* seven ft., if not exceeding it. So... She's definitely tall, but I wouldn't say freakish, necessarily.
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« Reply #8 on: August 05, 2008, 05:36:07 PM »

I'm no sure what you mean by:
Quote
What kind of expectations are put on a 'wise-ish' character that I will need to uphold?
Could you explain that to me. :P And if you don't want a surname that's fine, your choice.  BTW, IB is just a school... thing, recognised internationally.  It's just that K/U is a major criteria, but that doesn't matter.

Mannix
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« Reply #9 on: August 05, 2008, 11:49:57 PM »

If you say your character is 'wise-ish' than in RP your character should 'know' things and possibly be able to solve issues that require thinking. If someone directly asks you a question IC that you don't know the answer to, but you think your character should, you could always look it up on the site if it's Santharian, or google it for real world information. ;)
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« Reply #10 on: August 06, 2008, 01:40:11 AM »

Mannix: i just wanted to know why being wise would affect my RPing. I think I should be able to pull off wisdom okay *crosses fingers*
Eleyr: So that is a good height, yes? (Her son will look tiny next to her :D)
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« Reply #11 on: August 06, 2008, 05:49:58 PM »

Oh, sorry Fáiorríl.  That's my fault.  I was talking about her not being much of a talker.  You just have to remember to not have her talk all the time without reason.

Mannix
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« Reply #12 on: August 06, 2008, 11:01:49 PM »

Ah, all right. I've planned ahead for this :P Her son will do all the chattyness and social talking, and I think he'll be the catalyst for most relationships Faiorril has. Sound good?
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« Reply #13 on: August 06, 2008, 11:14:16 PM »

Yep.
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« Reply #14 on: August 10, 2008, 01:10:00 PM »

bump?
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