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Author Topic: Miés'áel Cór'yráná/Quaelhoirhim/Writer  (Read 9364 times)
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Alexandre Scriabin
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Human, Erpheronian/ Rhulran


« Reply #15 on: January 09, 2011, 02:28:24 PM »

Really, it seems like you were continuing on the same note you were on with the second paragraph (in your personality). So, I still don't know much about her, aside from her being a little bashful.

Try thinking about yourself or someone you know. For example: I could just say that my brother was the middle child (born before me but after my sister) and he's always been a little shy. Or I could say he's a drinker, with a weird sense of humor, who can't cook to save his life and can't do the dishes or the laundry to save his live for that matter.

So, I can only encourage you to get a little animated. Think about yourself and look at the people around you, at how interesting they are. I just want to see a personality section that you enjoyed writing, so that we can know what to expect from your character during a story. As it is, we don't have too much to go off of.
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Alexandre Scriabin CD
Miés'áel Cór'yráná
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Elf, Quaelhoirhim


« Reply #16 on: January 12, 2011, 11:42:05 AM »

Edits done in teal. Deleted previous "new" paragraph and added two more.
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"The desire to write grows with writing"
~Desiderius Erasmus~
~*~Miés'áel Córyrana~*~
Alexandre Scriabin
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« Reply #17 on: January 12, 2011, 12:31:59 PM »

Great. I now give you your first approval and wish you a speedy second approval and titling!
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Alexandre Scriabin CD
Miés'áel Cór'yráná
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Elf, Quaelhoirhim


« Reply #18 on: January 12, 2011, 12:43:36 PM »

Woo! Thanks! And thanks to Gundi and Valan for giving me inspiration when whining in the IRC.  hug
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"The desire to write grows with writing"
~Desiderius Erasmus~
~*~Miés'áel Córyrana~*~
Ridgen Sú'ufanán
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« Reply #19 on: January 17, 2011, 05:31:59 AM »

Hello there! I'm not really a mod or anything but I have been known for occasionally giving the odd comment to a few CD's, and one thing I've noticed in yours, even though it might be a bit nit-picky, is your lack of weapons weakness. I don't see how it would be a weakness, because most peasants don't have any weapons to defend themselves with, even if your character is a bit on the frail side. So uhm... I'm suggesting you change that weakness a bit, but it's not neccessary.

Wishing you a second approval soon.
Rid.
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Leif Terskun
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« Reply #20 on: January 17, 2011, 07:21:50 AM »

I'm in agreement with Ridgen on that. It was mentioned at the very start of the process - I don't know whether you changed it from then, but not owning a weapon is no more a weakness than not being able to use one. I know Andre approved you, but these are just my two sans.

Hoping to see this otherwise great character RPing.

Leif
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Leif Terskun
Alexandre Scriabin
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« Reply #21 on: January 17, 2011, 10:48:07 AM »

You're right, Leif. I wanted to comment on it but it slipped my mind initially, and I didn't mind giving her an approval once I saw her edits because her character was already balanced.

So basically, that means that we are all in agreement, Mies'ael.
« Last Edit: January 17, 2011, 10:49:07 AM by Alexandre Scriabin » Logged

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Alexandre Scriabin CD
Miés'áel Cór'yráná
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Elf, Quaelhoirhim


« Reply #22 on: January 17, 2011, 11:48:54 AM »

Okie dokie. I can take that out. Would I need something else to balance her out?
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"The desire to write grows with writing"
~Desiderius Erasmus~
~*~Miés'áel Córyrana~*~
Deklitch Hardin
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« Reply #23 on: January 17, 2011, 11:54:53 AM »

A very quick read through makes me think that yes, another weakness would possibly be a good thing ... however that was only on a quick look through. I'm sure Leif or Alex or another one of the mods/mini mods can give you a more definite answer on that.

Sorry, I'm on my way out to help with more clean up after the Brisbane floods.

Dek
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Alexandre Scriabin
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« Reply #24 on: January 17, 2011, 01:27:55 PM »

Since I already gave her an approval, I'll leave the decision to you and Leif, and just observe.
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Alexandre Scriabin CD
Malexia Vendu
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« Reply #25 on: January 18, 2011, 07:13:49 AM »

I will give a second approval, unless Leif and Dek have objections. I think overall the CD is balanced, the strengths are not so much that the weaknesses make it unbalanced.
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Deklitch Hardin
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« Reply #26 on: January 18, 2011, 07:18:14 AM »

I have no objections  ... I just really had a quick look through, and it was just a comment based on a weakness had been removed as it wasn't really a weakness. :)
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Miés'áel Cór'yráná
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Elf, Quaelhoirhim


« Reply #27 on: January 18, 2011, 12:23:06 PM »

So....I think I've gotten lost in the convo....

Should I delete the "no weapon" weakness? And if I do, do I need to come up with another weakness?

Sorry if I've been a hassle for ya'll. :-/
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"The desire to write grows with writing"
~Desiderius Erasmus~
~*~Miés'áel Córyrana~*~
Alexandre Scriabin
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« Reply #28 on: January 18, 2011, 12:29:10 PM »

Well, technically it doesn't count as a weakness, so yes it shouldn't be there. After that, I (and apparently Malexia) feel that you are balanced and don't need to add a weakness. Malexia will give you your second approval if Leif and Dek are okay with it.

Someone correct me if this wasn't a faithful summary of everything.
« Last Edit: January 18, 2011, 12:44:43 PM by Alexandre Scriabin » Logged

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Alexandre Scriabin CD
Miés'áel Cór'yráná
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Elf, Quaelhoirhim


« Reply #29 on: January 18, 2011, 12:44:40 PM »

I'll go ahead and delete the weakness, and be on stand-by in case another needs to be written up.

Thanks for the help, guys. :)
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"The desire to write grows with writing"
~Desiderius Erasmus~
~*~Miés'áel Córyrana~*~
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