* 
Welcome Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?


*
gfxgfx Home Forum Help Search Calendar Login Register   gfxgfx
gfx gfx
gfx
Embed Maximize


Newbies, read these!

Character Creation
FAQs
Restrictions

Main Site
Portraits
Rules
Story Creation
Racial Crossbreeding
Magic

Contact
Tips and Tricks
IRC Chat
Measures Converter
Elven Aging Calculator
Pages: [1] 2   Go Down
Print
Author Topic: Mallorix Volinkov/ Centoraurian/ Peasant  (Read 7675 times)
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
Mallorix Volinkov
Adventurous Peasant
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Posts: 515


Human, Centoraurian


« on: December 28, 2008, 07:33:16 PM »

Name: Mallorix Volinkov

Gender: Male

Age: 19

Race: Human

Tribe: Centoraurian

Occupation: Peasant

Title: Adventurous Peasant

Overview: A peasant who left home to seek adventure.

Appearance:
        Height: 1 Ped, 2 Fores

        Weight: 1 Pygge, 2 Hebs

        Eye Color: Blue

        Hair Color: Brown

        Physical Appearance: Mallorix is lightly built, with the typical Centoraurian look (Sunburned skin, dark hair, blue eyes). He is stronger than the average person, but he has a little noticeable fat around the waist. His hair is short, only reaching his ears. He has a rounded chin and a wide mouth, and he smiles often. His teeth are crooked, and they are a little too large. He has big hands and feet, which both have long fingers and toes. He is not hairy, and he has a short nose. His eyes are big and round. He has short eyelashes and eyebrows.

        Clothing: Mallorix wears the traditional Centoraurian clothing: A cotton blouse with short sleeves which ends at a short kilt till just over the knee. He wears pants under the kilt, and he wears the traditional soft leather boots. However, all his clothes are hand-me-downs. As a result, his clothes have visible stitching on them and they are all either a little smaller or a little larger than the size he should wear. They are all brown or dark green, which are neutral, earthen tones.

Personality: Mallorix is quite simple. He knows very little other than farm work, and as a result, he is often confused by other people. Despite that, he is clever, and he quickly gets into and out of trouble. When confused, he asks lots of questions, which may annoy people. He also is bored by people who talk too much and over-complicatte what they are trying to say. Mallorix usually listens on to be polite, but he doesn't try to understand what the person is saying, and he may daydream. He likes everything to be short and simple. He also daydreams a lot, and he particularly dislikes being around merchants, as they are, in his words: "Fat, rich men who yell about things and take your money." He is cautious around merchants, as they may trick him into giving up money. He is often hasty, which makes people think he is hurrying. He is hasty because of the fact that he likes things to be over quickly. Despite this, he is often suspicious of a lot of things, especially merchants. He also likes stories, so he will stop and listen to any bard or storyteller he sees. If he has some money, he will leave a little, but only if the story is good. He gives to the poor if he has spare money, as he knows how it is like to be poor. He likes to meet people from different tribes and races. He likes this because he likes meeting new people and seeing new things, as they are an adventure to him. He would like to learn to read more, as he had not learned much from his mother, who had anticipated him traveling due to his adventurous nature.

Strengths & Weaknesses:

        Strengths:
  • Partial Literacy: Mallorix has rudimentary training in reading, but he cannot write and he can only read the most basic of texts. Who knows where and when his skill may be useful.
  • Strong: Mallorix is strong, being able to carry heavy loads. He can disassemble stalls and carry goods for merchants, earning him money.
  • Quick: Mallorix is fast, being able to run very quickly. He can dodge thrown objects, which is useful if you are being chased by someone with a sling.
  • Suspicion: Mallorix is suspicious of new things, as they might be tricks. He can realise something is a trick that is trying to take advantage of the fact that he has little knowledge of the world.
  • Knife: Mallorix has a small knife to defend himself. He can ward off a bandit if he is lucky, and the knife can be used for skinning animals and cutting wood (With difficulty).
  • Trapping: Mallorix can make simple snares to catch small animals. He can survive in the wilderness using these snares.
  • Caution: Mallorix is cautious around merchants. He can avoid tricks in this way.
  • Clever: Mallorix can always think of a way to get out of a bad situation. He can use nearly anything to help him improve his situation; people,kinves, etc.

        Weaknesses:
    • Simple Minded: Mallorix does not think ahead often, so he gets into trouble. He cannot predict situations unless he really tries to, which isn't often.  
    • Lazy: Mallorix is very lazy, slacking off on work and taking a long time to finish tasks. He is often scolded as a result. Mallorix should not be trusted with doing something alone.
    • Hasty: Mallorix is sometimes too hasty, making deals with unintended results. He can sometimes accidentally promise to help a merchant for a week for one free item, instead of just for one time.
    • Daydreaming: Sometimes Mallorix might get bored in the middle of a long conversation. He will start daydreaming, which might annoy the speaker.
    • Troublemaker: Mallorix has a knack for getting into trouble, mostly by helping others and himself in ways that may anger some people. Ex: Helping Fu in Jovloff's Gold, loosening his bonds, etc.

    History: Mallorix was born in a peasant family living in a remote village in the southeastern most reaches of the Centoraurian homelands. He was the youngest of four sons and three daughters. He was often scolded and beaten by his parents for being lazy. Because of this, he developed the ability to dodge objects thrown at him, like boots and stones. When he was little, his oldest brother left and went to a bigger town to be a blacksmith. By the time he was sixteen years old, all his brothers had left and all his sisters were married, but his eldest brother, Gahad, had came home for a week. He was the only son left to do the farm work, and he was often scolded and beaten by his father for his laziness. His mother, however, was kinder. She had worked at a noble's palace, and through the help of an old man and discarded letters she had learned to read and write, though poorly. She taught her son what she could, but she had to do it in secret, as her husband did not approve of Mallorix "wasting" his time learning to read. Thus his knowledge of letters was poor.

            When Mallorix was eighteen, and nearing his nineteenth birthday, his eldest brother returned home. Mallorix was jubilant when his brother came into the hovel.

    "Brother! Brother! You're home!"

    "Mallorix, you have grown a lot in only two years. What has been happening?"

    "There is this bard who came to the village, and he tells the most wonderful stories! I don't understand most of what he talks about, but the parts where the hero kills the evil monster are the best!"

    "What profession are you going to take up? Did you get a blacksmith's apprenticeship like me?"

    "No, I want to be like those heroes in the stories."

            Mallorix's father interrupted the conversation.
    "Why? You need to get a sensible profession! You're such a worthless son, always slacking off. I hope I can find you an apprenticeship and get you out of my house."
            Mallorix's mother then came into the room and said:
    "Calm down, husband. I think Gahad would like to sleep now."

            The next morning, Mallorix's brother woke up and shook Mallorix awake. Mallorix woke up, and said with a tried voice:
    "Gahad? What are you doing?"

            Gahad responded:
    "Shh, be quiet. I'm going to sneak you out of the house."

    "Why?"

    "Didn't you say you wanted to be an adventurer? I'll help you."

            Mallorix sneaked out of the house along with his brother. Outside, Gahad pressed 50 sans into Mallorix's hand, along with a bag of food and a full waterskin. Mallorix thanked his brother and quickly ran off towards the next village.

            He reached the next village when the sun rose in the east. There, he found that it was market day. All around the town square, there were merchants, yelling and selling their wares. Mallorix noticed that the prices charged for goods was higher than in his village, and sometimes the merchants took more money than the wares actually costed. In the corner of the square, he noticed a man with a cart that was just standing there. An idea suddenly dawned upon Mallorix. That man could take him to a larger town where he could find adventure!
            Mallorix approached the man and asked him:
    "Why are you just standing there?"

            The man replied:
    "I sold all my wares already."

            Mallorix inquired:
    "How?"

            The man just looked at him and said:
    "I sold all my wares so cheaply that everyone bought them."

    "Why haven't you put away your stall yet?"

            The merchant replied:
    "It's too much for me. I already loaded the trinkets the villagers exchanged for some of my fine bowls. Tell me, could you please help me put away my stall? I will pay you."
            Mallorix replied:

    "Why should I help a merchant? All of them are rich, mostly fat men who take your money."

            The merchant said:

    "Please. I am an honest merchant, not like those fat fools. I will pay you twenty sans."

            Mallorix knew that extra money would be a good thing, but the merchant might let him travel with him to a bigger town.

    "Instead of money, could you take me to the Capital?"

            The merchant said:

    "Erm, yes, I could. You want to go to New-Santhala?"

    "Yes, yes." replied Mallorix excitedly

    "All right, get to work then!"

             Mallorix and the merchant worked until noon to take apart the heavy stall and load it into the cart. Then, they both got into the cart. The merchant said:
    "If you want my food and more free rides in my cart, you must help me at every town we stop at!"

    "OK." replied Mallorix.

            They ate lunch in silence, and then left town. Over the next few weeks, the duo traveled on towards New-Santhala, stopping from town to town. Mallorix learned some things from the merchant, but they were mostly practical things, like seeing through merchants' tricks and finding temporary work in towns. After a month of travel like this, Mallorix celebrated his nineteenth birthday. A few days later, the merchant left Mallorix in a small town. He said:
    "This is the closest I can take you to New-Santhala. My trade route ends here. New-Santhala should be a week south. Good luck in finding adventure!"
            
    Mallorix replied:

    "Thank you, Merchant!"

            The merchant said a few last words before he left:

    "Here is a knife for you to use to defend yourself. Good Luck!"
    Belongings: 50 sans, empty waterskin, sack, clothes.

            Weapons: A simple knife with a wooden handle and a sharp copper blade.[/list]
    « Last Edit: September 16, 2009, 10:01:30 PM by Kalína Mërénwèn » Logged

    "I despise merchants. All of them are fat, rich men who yell about things and take your money."
    Mallorix's CD
    Mallorix Volinkov
    Adventurous Peasant
    Approved Character
    *
    Offline Offline

    Posts: 515


    Human, Centoraurian


    « Reply #1 on: January 11, 2009, 06:10:36 AM »

    Ready for comments!
    Logged

    "I despise merchants. All of them are fat, rich men who yell about things and take your money."
    Mallorix's CD
    Mannix
    Ranger of Shadow
    Approved Character
    *
    Offline Offline

    Gender: Male
    Posts: 816


    Elf, Aellenrhim


    « Reply #2 on: January 11, 2009, 02:14:02 PM »

    Heya Mal. I’m just going to give you a quick, little check, in orange.

    Name: Mallorix Volinkov

    Gender: Male

    Age: 19

    Race: Human

    Tribe: Centoraurian

    Occupation: Peasant

    Title: Adventurous Peasant

    Overview: A peasant who left home to seek adventure.<~~(Full stop)

    Appearance:
            Height: 1 Ped, 2 Fores

            Weight: 1 Pygge, 2 Hebs

            Eye Color: Blue

            Hair Color: Brown

            Physical Appearance: Mallorix is lightly built, with the typical Centoraurian look (Sunburned skin, dark hair, blue eyes). He is stronger than the average person, but he has a little noticeable fat. His hair is short, only reaching his ears. He has a rounded chin and a wide mouth, and he smiles often. He is quick in his actions. [/color=orange](Isn’t this last sentence a personality trait?)
    (I realise you are trying to keep this a simple CD, but I’d like to see more detail here. Describe him a little more. What shape are his eyes? Does he have big feet? Or big hands? What about his nose? And his teeth? Is he hairy? Just try and tell us a bit more about him, so we can actually visualise him.)[/color]

            Clothing: Mallorix wears the traditional Centoraurian clothing: A cotton blouse with short sleeves which ends at a short kilt till just over the knee. He wears pants under the kilt, and he wears the traditional soft leather boots. However, all his clothes are hand-me-downs. As a result, his clothes have visible stitching on them and they are all either a little smaller or a little larger than the size he should wear. (What about colours?)

    Personality: Mallorix is quite simple, being a peasant. He knows very little other than farmwork, and as a result, he is often confused by other people. He also is bored by people that use very long words and phrases. He likes everything to be short and simple. He also daydreams a lot, and he particularly dislikes being around merchants, as they are, in his words: "Fat, rich men who yell about things and take your money." He is often hasty, which makes people think he is hurrying.<~~(Full stop) (Just because he has a simple life doesn’t mean he has a simple personality. Everyone has their little quirks. Go on add something in. It will make role-playing much more fun.)

    Strengths & Weaknesses:

            Strengths:
    ·   Strong: Mallorix is strong, being able to carry heavy loads. He can disassemble stalls and carry goods for merchants, earning him money.
    ·   Quick: Mallorix is fast, being able to run very quickly. He can dodge thrown objects, which is useful if you are being chased by someone with a sling.
    (Surely he has some more strengths. Something about his perosonality maybe? Or a weapon? Just try and go more in-depth with him.)

            Weaknesses:
    ·   Simple Minded: Mallorix is even more simple minded than most peasants. He really acts in the wrong way in front of influential people. For example, he might insult an important person's honor by not addressing him by his proper titles, and not apologising. He is also confused by many things, such as knightly honour.
    ·   Lazy: Mallorix is very lazy, slacking off on work and taking a long time to finish tasks. He is often scolded as a result. Mallorix should not be trusted with doing something alone.
    ·   Hasty: Mallorix is sometimes too hasty, making deals with unintended results. He can sometimes accidentally promise to help a merchant for a week for one free item, instead of just for one time.

    History: Mallorix was born in a peasant family living in a remote village in the southeasternmost reaches of the Centoraurian homelands. He was the youngest of four sons and three daughters. He was often scolded and beaten by his parents for being lazy. Because of this, he developed the ability to dodge objects thrown at him, like boots and stones. When he was little, his oldest brother left and went to a bigger town to be a blacksmith. By the time he was sixteen years old, all his brothers had left and all his sisters were married, but his eldest brother, Gahad, had came home for a week. He was the only son left to do the farmwork, and he was often scolded and beaten by his father for his laziness.
            When Mallorix was eighteen, and nearing his nineteenth birthday, his eldest brother returned home. Mallorix was jubilant when his brother came into the hovel.
    "Brother! Brother! You're home!"
    "Mallorix, you have grown a lot in only two years. What has been happening?"
    "There is this bard who came to the village, and he tells the most wonderful stories! I don't understand most of what he talks about, but the parts where the hero kills the evil monster are the best!"
    "What profession are you going to take up? Did you get a blacksmith's apprenticeship like me?"
    "No, I want to be like those heroes in the stories."
            Mallorix's father interrupted the conversation.
    "Why? You should be happy here! You're such a worthless son, always slacking off. I hope I can find you an apprenticeship and get you out of my house."
            Mallorix's mother then came into the room and said:
    "Calm down, husband. I think Gahad would like to sleep now."
            The next morning, Mallorix's brother woke up and shook Mallorix awake. Mallorix woke up, and said with a tried voice:
    "Gahad? What are you doing?"
            Gahad responded:
    "Shh, be quiet. I'm going to sneak you out of the house."
    "Why?"
    "Didn't you say you wanted to be an adventurer? I'll help you."
            Mallorix sneaked out of the house along with his brother. Outside, Gahad pressed 50 sans into Mallorix's hand, along with a bag of food and a full waterskin. Mallorix thanked his brother and quickly ran off towards the next village.
            He reached the next village when the sun rose in the east. There, he found that it was market day. All around the town square, there were merchants, yelling and selling their wares. Mallorix noticed that the prices charged for goods was higher than in his village, and sometimes the merchants took more money than the wares actually costed. In the corner of the square, he noticed a man with a cart that was just standing there. An idea suddenly dawned upon Mallorix. That man could take him to a larger town where he could find adventure!
            Mallorix approached the man and asked him:
    "Why are you just standing there?"
            The man replied:
    "I sold all my wares already."
            Mallorix inquired:
    "How?"
            The man just looked at him and said:
    "I sold all my wares so cheaply that everyone bought them."
    "Why haven't you put away your stall yet?"
            The merchant replied:
    "It's too much for me. I already loaded the trinkets the villagers exchanged for some of my fine bowls. Tell me, could you please help me put away my stall? I will pay you."
            Mallorix replied:
    "Why should I help a merchant? All they are are rich, mostly fat men who take your money."
            The merchant said:
    "Please. I am an honest merchant, not like those fat fools. I will pay you twenty sans."
            Mallorix knew that extra money would be a good thing, but the merchant might let him travel with him to a bigger town.
    "Instead of money, could you take me to the Capital?"
            The merchant said:
    "Erm, yes, I could. You want to go to New-Santhala?"
    "Yes, yes." replied Mallorix excitedly
    "All(space)right, get to work then!"
             Mallorix and the merchant worked until noon to take apart the heavy stall and load it into the cart. Then, they both got into the cart. The merchant said:
    "If you want my food and more free rides in my cart, you must help me at every town we stop at!"
    "Ok." replied Mallorix.
            They ate lunch in silence, and then left town. Over the next few weeks, the duo traveled on towards New-Santhala, stopping from town to town. Mallorix learned some things from the merchant, but they were mostly practical things, like seeing through merchants' tricks and finding temporary work in towns. After a month of travel like this, Mallorix celebrated his nineteenth birthday. A few days later, the merchant left Mallorix in a small town. He said:
    "This is the closest I can take you to New-Santhala. My trade route ends here. New-Santhala should be a week south. Good luck in finding adventure!"
            Mallorix replied:
    "Thank you, Merchant!"
            The merchant said a few last words before he left:
    "Here is a knife for you to use to defend yourself. Good Luck!" (The knife should be listed in a weapons section and under his strengths.)
    Belongings: 50 sans, empty waterskin, sack.



    And there you go. Really, all I can advise is expansion and elaboration. I have change your post icon to the pencil for these edits. Once you're done, remember to change it back, and make sure you colour all edits. Oh, and your avatar seems to be broken. Good luck.

    Mannix
    « Last Edit: January 11, 2009, 02:18:49 PM by Mannix » Logged

    Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
    Mannix Vaelos ~ Character Creation Help ~ FAQs ~ Restrictions
    Mallorix Volinkov
    Adventurous Peasant
    Approved Character
    *
    Offline Offline

    Posts: 515


    Human, Centoraurian


    « Reply #3 on: January 12, 2009, 03:53:26 PM »

    Thanks for the quick comments, I tried to elaborate more on the details, and change the personality.
    I'm ready for more comments.
    Logged

    "I despise merchants. All of them are fat, rich men who yell about things and take your money."
    Mallorix's CD
    Weivóc'Neán
    Forsaken
    Approved Character
    *
    Offline Offline

    Posts: 471


    Elf, Eophyrhim


    « Reply #4 on: January 13, 2009, 11:29:06 AM »

    Aside from anything that could be nitpicky, spelling, grammar, and stuff along those lines, I see nothing wrong, it looks good.

    ~fetches a mod~
    Logged

    RP'ing: Speech Thoughts
    A link to my CD: Weivóc'Neán

    May this bless all who read it with what it holds:

    Sé ilian thelduin onr líf un mor'ranr thelduin onr freohr.
    Simonne Miller
    Meddling Herbalist
    Approved Character
    *
    Offline Offline

    Gender: Female
    Posts: 2454


    Human, Caltharian


    « Reply #5 on: January 13, 2009, 09:41:00 PM »

    Hi Mallorix! Let's see if we can give you some comments, shall we? Guess what colour they'll be in ;)

    Name: Mallorix Volinkov

    Gender: Male

    Age: 19

    Race: Human

    Tribe: Centoraurian

    Occupation: Peasant

    Title: Adventurous Peasant

    Overview: A peasant who left home to seek adventure.

    Appearance:
            Height: 1 Ped, 2 Fores

            Weight: 1 Pygge, 2 Hebs

            Eye Color: Blue

            Hair Color: Brown

            Physical Appearance: Mallorix is lightly built, with the typical Centoraurian look (Sunburned skin, dark hair, blue eyes). He is stronger than the average person, but he has a little noticeable fat. Where does he have this? Around his waist? His hair is short, only reaching his ears. He has a rounded chin and a wide mouth, and he smiles often. His teeth are crooked, and they are a little too large. He has big hands and feet, which both have long fingers and toes. He is not hairy, and he has a short nose. His eyes are big and round. He has short eyelashes and eyebrows.

            Clothing: Mallorix wears the traditional Centoraurian clothing: A cotton blouse with short sleeves which ends at a short kilt till just over the knee. He wears pants under the kilt, and he wears the traditional soft leather boots. However, all his clothes are hand-me-downs. As a result, his clothes have visible stitching on them and they are all either a little smaller or a little larger than the size he should wear. They are all brown or dark green, which are neutral, earthen tones.

    Personality: Mallorix is quite simple. He knows very little other than farmwork, and as a result, he is often confused by other people. What does he do when he's confused?He also is bored by people that use very long words and phrases. What does he do when he is bored? Does he walk away without a word to the person using these words? Does he tell them not to bore him anymore?He likes everything to be short and simple. He also daydreams a lot, What about? and he particularly dislikes being around merchants, as they are, in his words: "Fat, rich men who yell about things and take your money." What does he do when he's around merchants? He is often hasty, which makes people think he is hurrying. Why is he hasty? Despite this, he is often suspicious of a lot of things, especially merchants. He also likes stories, so he will stop and listen to any bard or storyteller he sees. Does he only listen and then walk away or is he generous enough to give them a little money if he can spare it?

    Is he cheap or generous? How does he think about/act towards other tribes/races? How easily does he start talking to people? How easily does he make friends?

    And so on. These are just a few of the questions you could ask yourself when writing the personality. Of course I'm not telling you that you HAVE to add these things, and if you want to keep it short that's your choice. I'm just saying that there are many things you could tell about him without making him any less of a simple man ;)


    Strengths & Weaknesses:

            Strengths:
    Strong: Mallorix is strong, being able to carry heavy loads. He can disassemble stalls and carry goods for merchants, earning him money.
    Quick: Mallorix is fast, being able to run very quickly. He can dodge thrown objects, which is useful if you are being chased by someone with a sling.
    Suspicion: Mallorix is suspicious of new things, as they might be tricks. He can realise something is a trick that is trying to take advantage of the fact that he has little knowledge of the world.
    Knife: Mallorix has a small knife to defend himself. He can ward off a bandit if he is lucky, and the knife can be used for skinning animals and cutting wood (With difficulty). Skinning animals implies that he can catch them in the first place? This would be considered a strength.

    Weaknesses:
    Simple Minded: Mallorix is even more simple minded than most peasants. He really acts in the wrong way in front of influential people. For example, he might insult an important person's honor by not addressing him by his proper titles, and not apologising. He is also confused by many things, such as knightly honour. Perhaps you could give an example how this hinders him in situations that he'll actually encounter? Perhaps he easily offends people because he says something wrong without knowing it? This is basically the same as your example but the thing with yours is that it's not very often that an important person will actually talk to him personally, so not a lot of chances of offending there...
    Lazy: Mallorix is very lazy, slacking off on work and taking a long time to finish tasks. He is often scolded as a result. Mallorix should not be trusted with doing something alone.
    Hasty: Mallorix is sometimes too hasty, making deals with unintended results. He can sometimes accidentally promise to help a merchant for a week for one free item, instead of just for one time.


    History: Mallorix was born in a peasant family living in a remote village in the southeasternmost reaches of the Centoraurian homelands. He was the youngest of four sons and three daughters. He was often scolded and beaten by his parents for being lazy. Because of this, he developed the ability to dodge objects thrown at him, like boots and stones. When he was little, his oldest brother left and went to a bigger town to be a blacksmith. By the time he was sixteen years old, all his brothers had left and all his sisters were married, but his eldest brother, Gahad, had came home for a week. He was the only son left to do the farmwork, and he was often scolded and beaten by his father for his laziness.
            When Mallorix was eighteen, and nearing his nineteenth birthday, his eldest brother returned home. Mallorix was jubilant when his brother came into the hovel.
    "Brother! Brother! You're home!"
    "Mallorix, you have grown a lot in only two years. What has been happening?"
    "There is this bard who came to the village, and he tells the most wonderful stories! I don't understand most of what he talks about, but the parts where the hero kills the evil monster are the best!"
    "What profession are you going to take up? Did you get a blacksmith's apprenticeship like me?"
    "No, I want to be like those heroes in the stories."
            Mallorix's father interrupted the conversation.
    "Why? You should be happy here! You're such a worthless son, always slacking off. I hope I can find you an apprenticeship and get you out of my house." hehe, 'you should be happy! you're worthless!' :P
            Mallorix's mother then came into the room and said:
    "Calm down, husband. I think Gahad would like to sleep now."
            The next morning, Mallorix's brother woke up and shook Mallorix awake. Mallorix woke up, and said with a tried voice:
    "Gahad? What are you doing?"
            Gahad responded:
    "Shh, be quiet. I'm going to sneak you out of the house."
    "Why?"
    "Didn't you say you wanted to be an adventurer? I'll help you."
            Mallorix sneaked out of the house along with his brother. Outside, Gahad pressed 50 sans into Mallorix's hand, along with a bag of food and a full waterskin. Mallorix thanked his brother and quickly ran off towards the next village.
            He reached the next village when the sun rose in the east. There, he found that it was market day. All around the town square, there were merchants, yelling and selling their wares. Mallorix noticed that the prices charged for goods was higher than in his village, and sometimes the merchants took more money than the wares actually costed. In the corner of the square, he noticed a man with a cart that was just standing there. An idea suddenly dawned upon Mallorix. That man could take him to a larger town where he could find adventure!
            Mallorix approached the man and asked him:
    "Why are you just standing there?"
            The man replied:
    "I sold all my wares already."
            Mallorix inquired:
    "How?"
            The man just looked at him and said:
    "I sold all my wares so cheaply that everyone bought them."
    "Why haven't you put away your stall yet?"
            The merchant replied:
    "It's too much for me. I already loaded the trinkets the villagers exchanged for some of my fine bowls. Tell me, could you please help me put away my stall? I will pay you."
            Mallorix replied:
    "Why should I help a merchant? All of them are rich, mostly fat men who take your money."
            The merchant said:
    "Please. I am an honest merchant, not like those fat fools. I will pay you twenty sans."
            Mallorix knew that extra money would be a good thing, but the merchant might let him travel with him to a bigger town.
    "Instead of money, could you take me to the Capital?"
            The merchant said:
    "Erm, yes, I could. You want to go to New-Santhala?"
    "Yes, yes." replied Mallorix excitedly
    "All right, get to work then!"
             Mallorix and the merchant worked until noon to take apart the heavy stall and load it into the cart. Then, they both got into the cart. The merchant said:
    "If you want my food and more free rides in my cart, you must help me at every town we stop at!"
    "OK." replied Mallorix.
            They ate lunch in silence, and then left town. Over the next few weeks, the duo traveled on towards New Santhala, stopping from town to town. Mallorix learned some things from the merchant, but they were mostly practical things, like seeing through merchants' tricks and finding temporary work in towns. After a month of travel like this, Mallorix celebrated his nineteenth birthday. A few days later, the merchant left Mallorix in a small town. He said:
    "This is the closest I can take you to New-Santhala. My trade route ends here. New-Santhala should be a week south. Good luck in finding adventure!"
            Mallorix replied:
    "Thank you, Merchant!"
            The merchant said a few last words before he left:
    "Here is a knife for you to use to defend yourself. Good Luck!"
    Belongings: 50 sans, empty waterskin, sack.

            Weapons: A simple knife with a wooden handle and a sharp copper blade.

    No belongings?

    Ok, that's it for now. Tell me when you've integrated these comments, and I'll come and take another look, but you shouldn't be too far from an approval :)
    Logged

    Youth is a gift of nature, but old age is a work of art
    Simonne Miller
    Mallorix Volinkov
    Adventurous Peasant
    Approved Character
    *
    Offline Offline

    Posts: 515


    Human, Centoraurian


    « Reply #6 on: January 14, 2009, 03:03:07 AM »

    Thanks for the comments Simonne!
    I implemented those wonderful comments.
    « Last Edit: January 14, 2009, 03:34:00 AM by Mallorix Volinkov » Logged

    "I despise merchants. All of them are fat, rich men who yell about things and take your money."
    Mallorix's CD
    Simonne Miller
    Meddling Herbalist
    Approved Character
    *
    Offline Offline

    Gender: Female
    Posts: 2454


    Human, Caltharian


    « Reply #7 on: January 14, 2009, 06:55:54 AM »

    Alright, I don't have any major problems with this anymore, so here's your First Approval! Hopefully someone will come along soon for the second one ^.^
    Logged

    Youth is a gift of nature, but old age is a work of art
    Simonne Miller
    Eléyr Fásamár
    Serenity's Embodiment
    Approved Character
    *
    Offline Offline

    Gender: Male
    Posts: 2109


    Elf ~ Kaýrrhem


    « Reply #8 on: January 14, 2009, 07:24:21 AM »

    I can only agree. Good job, Mallorix. :)

    ~Second Approval~
    Logged

    Those who say only Insanity can bring true relaxation...
    Have clearly never hired a Mindsmoother!

    Eléyr's CD ~¤•¤~ Character Creation ~¤•¤~ Restrictions ~¤•¤~ CD Etiquette
    Weivóc'Neán
    Forsaken
    Approved Character
    *
    Offline Offline

    Posts: 471


    Elf, Eophyrhim


    « Reply #9 on: January 14, 2009, 07:51:28 AM »

    Yay, just need an admin now, let's see if we can't find one that is pre-occupied now.

    ~looks around~
    Logged

    RP'ing: Speech Thoughts
    A link to my CD: Weivóc'Neán

    May this bless all who read it with what it holds:

    Sé ilian thelduin onr líf un mor'ranr thelduin onr freohr.
    Kalína Dalá'isyrás
    Dalá'isyrás
    Mini-mod
    ***
    Offline Offline

    Gender: Female
    Posts: 12803


    High Elf, Kaýrrhem


    « Reply #10 on: January 14, 2009, 09:24:11 AM »

    And titled! Go ahead and remove the color and we shall archive ya. :)
    Logged

    Insanity is only a perception made by those who have yet to attain its greatness. While those of us who have already stepped inside its bounds find bliss in our utter madness.
    Nai'r en'Lina ar'Kaimel
    Mallorix Volinkov
    Adventurous Peasant
    Approved Character
    *
    Offline Offline

    Posts: 515


    Human, Centoraurian


    « Reply #11 on: January 14, 2009, 03:51:08 PM »

    That was fast. All color has been removed.
    Logged

    "I despise merchants. All of them are fat, rich men who yell about things and take your money."
    Mallorix's CD
    Kalína Dalá'isyrás
    Dalá'isyrás
    Mini-mod
    ***
    Offline Offline

    Gender: Female
    Posts: 12803


    High Elf, Kaýrrhem


    « Reply #12 on: July 06, 2009, 09:38:14 PM »

    Retrieving.
    Logged

    Insanity is only a perception made by those who have yet to attain its greatness. While those of us who have already stepped inside its bounds find bliss in our utter madness.
    Nai'r en'Lina ar'Kaimel
    Mallorix Volinkov
    Adventurous Peasant
    Approved Character
    *
    Offline Offline

    Posts: 515


    Human, Centoraurian


    « Reply #13 on: July 06, 2009, 10:31:42 PM »

    Thanks, I'll change what I can in 2 weeks.

    EDIT: Changes colored in purple.
    « Last Edit: July 06, 2009, 10:59:52 PM by Mallorix Volinkov » Logged

    "I despise merchants. All of them are fat, rich men who yell about things and take your money."
    Mallorix's CD
    Kalína Dalá'isyrás
    Dalá'isyrás
    Mini-mod
    ***
    Offline Offline

    Gender: Female
    Posts: 12803


    High Elf, Kaýrrhem


    « Reply #14 on: July 07, 2009, 10:08:33 PM »

    Can we put some spaces between the paragraphs, Mal? Its all bunched up. :P
    Logged

    Insanity is only a perception made by those who have yet to attain its greatness. While those of us who have already stepped inside its bounds find bliss in our utter madness.
    Nai'r en'Lina ar'Kaimel
    Pages: [1] 2   Go Up
    Print
    Jump to:  

    Recent Posts
    [August 01, 2018, 03:13:13 PM]

    [June 19, 2018, 12:49:51 PM]

    [April 28, 2018, 03:44:22 AM]

    [April 13, 2018, 06:36:29 AM]

    [April 10, 2018, 08:32:04 PM]

    [March 09, 2018, 05:45:59 PM]

    [February 13, 2018, 12:19:59 PM]

    [January 02, 2018, 02:30:49 AM]

    [December 28, 2017, 03:01:06 AM]

    [December 27, 2017, 04:40:36 PM]
    Members
    Total Members: 2833
    Latest: Birdyblack
    Stats
    Total Posts: 214552
    Total Topics: 8049
    Online Today: 82
    Online Ever: 216
    (November 30, 2006, 09:08:03 AM)
    Users Online
    Users: 0
    Guests: 74
    Total: 74

    Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2005, Simple Machines
    TinyPortal v0.9.8 © Bloc
    Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!
    Theme based on Cerberus with Risen adjustments by Bloc and Krelia
    Modified By Artimidor for The Santharian Dream
    gfx
    gfxgfx gfxgfx