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Author Topic: Slautnik Wyr'thorne / Centoraurian / Roaming Scholar  (Read 4534 times)
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Slautnik Wyr'thorne
Roaming Scholar
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Gender: Male
Posts: 90


Human, Centoraurian


« on: January 14, 2009, 02:09:41 PM »

Name: Slautnik Wyr'Thorne

Gender: Male

Age: 29, looks about 35 though.

Race: Human

Tribe: Centoraurian

Occupation: Scholar

Title: Roaming Scholar

Overview: Slautnik is a kind scholar with a thirst for adventure. He is intelligent and wise, but he might not be ready for the hardships, or secrets, an adventuring life may bring.

Appearance: Slautnik is a man of medium height and light build, he has a gnarled look with corded muscles. His hair almost reaches his shoulders and is tied in a small pony-tail. He sports a beard that reaches the tip of his chest. Slautnik squints a lot because his eye-sight is a bit off. His nose is large and slightly bulbous. The scholar's fingers are long, and his hands are thin, from a large amount of writing. His hair is prematurely greying, making him look older than his 29 years. His skin is pale from staying indoors a good amount of his life. His face is a bit sunken, but a smile usually resides upon it.

Eye Colour: Ocean blue

Hair Colour: Light brown, but grey on the edges.

Height: 1 Ped, 2 Fores, 1 Palmspan, 6 Nailsbreadths

Weight: 1 Pygge, 5 Hebs, 4 Ods, 2 Mut

Clothing: Slautnik dresses in a light blue, longsleeved shirt with 4 large brass buttons, the shirt is a bit worn-looking but is still in good shape. He wears loose fitting pants of light brown colour, the knees and shins of these pants are reinforced with leather, the pants are held up with a fine leather belt with a brass buckles. On his feet he sports nice, short leather boots with brass buckles similar to the one on his belt.

Strengths:

Literate: Slautnik can read and write, It's kind of a requirement if one is to be a scholar. This allows him to read signs, learn things faster than other people (by reading books) and takes jobs as a scribe.

Fast learner: Ever since he was young, Slautnik always learned quickly. He was a good reader at a young age, and learned a lot from books. Of course this strength/skill does not only apply to stuff you learn from books, it can be anything, from chopping wood to building towers! A thing about this is he has trouble mastering skills, he just learns the basics quickly.

Throwing Knives: Everybody gets bored, and when they're not working or doing something else they need a hobby. Slautnik's hobby was to throw knives at a board, eventually he got pretty good at this and started trying trick throwing. Well trick throwing did not work well for him, but he learned how to conceal throwing knives.

Crossbows: Slautnk learned almost everything about crossbows from his (now dead) friend, Ildren. He can maintain them, and do quick fixes of basic quality. He is much more accurate with a crossbow than he is throwing knives, only problem is due to his bad eyesight he has trouble hitting anything more than 55 peds away.

Weaknesses:

Clumsy: Poor Slautnik is a clumsy man. He tends to trip over his own feet and fumble his pen, sometimes leading to slightly messy writing. That is only a small thing, falling on a wielded knife is not that much impossible.

Unreliable in combat: Slautnik is a bit cowardly, but that is not why he is unreliable. The reason he is unreliable in combat is in the rare occation he defeats the ememy he is fighting, he'll just put away his weapon, pull out one of his books and feather pen. Then he'll start writing about the creature or beast or other.... thing and start noting on their tactics, abilities and appearance. Of course if he is in direct combat or already put down notes in his book(s) of the thing they are fighting, this won't happen.

Bad eyesight: Over the course of his life Slautnik has grown a bit near sighted. He has trouble seeing anything from a distance of more than 60 peds, and cannot see small details from even a quarter of the distance!

Personality: Slautnik is a calm man. He likes relaxing, reading and writing when he has nothing better to do. He is generally happy with a jolly disposition and a friendly face. He is a friendly fellow, willing to help a man (or woman) in need. He tries to help the downtrodden, and poor to the best of his abilities, he encourages people to not break the law and generally is a nice guy. Everybody has their evils though, and Slautnik has a thing towards thieves, a big thing towards thieves. He hates thieves to the point where he will hunt them down. Stealing from him is like stealing a cub from a mother bear, getting out alive is going to be very hard. So don't steal from him and he'll give his life for you.

History: Slautnik was born into a middle-class family. His father was an architect and designed simple but sturdy buildings and his mother took care of him and his two brothers and one sister. He did not have a hard life compared to many children and his father started to teach him how to read at the age of 8; he learned quickly and almost mastered it by 11. So until the age of 16 Slautnik lived a normal life, but at 16 his life took a turn for the worst. After being missing for two days his father had been found behind an old workhouse, beaten and bloody but just barely alive, it was later found out he was brutalized by a thug. He was taken to the nearest healer, but even he could not heal his injuries, days later Slautnik's father died. For months Slautnik was thrown into a deep depression, and he remained in it for a great amount of time...

Many a year later, at the age of 21, Slautnik had already left his family, tried to forget about his father and had formed a sharp mind. He had a yearning to find out about the world and learn all secrets. At the age of 25 he had studied and learned the ways of the scholar! He had a good life at the time, he took jobs looking and searching through books for the rich and when times where tough he took some scribing jobs. Most of the time he had a fair amount of sans in his coffer. He built up is own small library with most of his money, buying books of every single possible subject.

A little later in his life though, almost at the present time, people stopped needing his services and there were better scribes out there. Slowly his money started drifting away and as he became poorer and poorer he started throwing knives as a hobby, for he had much more time on his hands than he used to. Another thing that bothered him was he still had a thirst for knowledge and had nothing to quench it with! He pondered many-a-night for a way to gain more knowledge, in the end he only had thought of one option, he had to go out and expereicence it for himself! This was not appealing to the city-raised scholar who, never in his life, had to even leave the place he spent his whole life, but it had to be done, and what must be done, must be done!

He spent most of his remaining sans on reinforcing his clothes and books, Buying a nice set of throwing knives, purchasing a knife of basic quality and a fine set of feather pens.

He gave his home to his sister and set off.

The first week did not work very well for the scholar, he was not used to the walking and his legs hurt. The second week he was almost pickpocketed and the only thing that saved him from becoming even poorer than he was already, was because his arse had a nasty itch from falling in a wierd bush (I think it's fair to say that the would-be-thief is still comatose from the punch that Slautnik delevered to his face). The worst part is he did not even know where he was going, so he just started following some traders that passed by. Now, the traders were nice fellows and let this clumsy scholar tag along with 'em.

Slautnik got along well with the small group of traders, and even made friends with a nice fellow named Ildren Thritch. Now Ildren is what you would call a crossbow enthusiast, he praised crossbows, it was his favorite item. He knew everything about them, how they were made, how to shoot them properly and too much other bits of information to count. Of coarse Slautnik being... Slautnik listened intently and even wrote the stuff down in his Book of Warfare. Eventualy Slautnik and Ildren Became great friends, even to the point where Ildren let Slautnik buy one of his finer crossbows at a greatly redused price.

Now slautnik practiced with that crossbow (with Ildren's "practice bolts" of coarse) whenever he had free time (which was most of the time) and got pretty good in a short period of time, even better than he was at throwing daggers!

Not long after that happened though, the worst thing happened. Slautnik and the traders were ambushed by bandits. It all happened quickly. First a badly-thrown axe struck the trader in the front, then the bandits jumped from the trees. Luckily for the traders (and slautnik) the bandits were hardly anything more than rogue farmers armed with sharpened farming utensils. Most of the bandits died fairly quickly, mostly because they did not expect the traders to fight back, some died from falling on their "weapons" after jumping out of the trees. But there was one bandit who was quite a bit more battle-honed than the others, a former archer in a town guard. This bandit saw Ildren as the biggest threat, for he had already shot four bandits down single handedly. So the Former guard took aim an loosed an arrow upon Ildren. Ildren fell, the arrow pierced his chest and he slumped to the ground. Slautnik was the first to see Ildren fall and also the first the see that the bandit was about to loose another arrow, but slautnik stuck faster. Before the bandit knew it a crossbow bolt had smashed through his nose bridge and stuck in his spine, I think it is safe to say that the former guard was dead before he his the ground.

After the fight, only two traders were dead, compared to nearly a dozen bandits, but one of them was Ildren. Ildren and the other trader were buried with their personal effects, the other traders took there goods.

Strucken with grief for his lost friend and angry at the traders for simply burying him and taking his trade goods, slautnik left the group the next day.

Weapons:

-A crossbow of fine quality, the stock is made of a light wood and the arms of high-quality steel. The stock is about one ped in length, while the arms span a little more than that, despite its size it it surprisingly light.

- A dozen throwing knives of normal quality, the blades are made of normal steel and the handle is wrapped in light leather. The whole knife is about 1.5 palmspans in length.

-A long knife of normal quality, this weapon is matched with the throwing daggers, The blade is made with steel and the handle wrapped in light leather. The whole thing is about 3 palmspans in length.

Belongings:

Other than his clothes (Mentioned under clothing) Slautnik also owns:

- 3 large leather-bound books. The scholar has labled them:

>The Book of Warfare; Contains information on weapons, seige engines, war tactics and the like.

>The Book of Beasts; Contains information on animals, monsters, plants and everything else thats alive.

>The Book of Facts; Contains everything that is not based on warfare or beasts.

*All of these books are nearly devoid of any writing.

- A Bag used for storing his books

-A quiver of 35 crossbow bolts.

- 3 jars of ink, 2 black, 1 red.

- A large set of feather pens in a fine wooden case.

- 3 small bags, empty.

- A Money purse, contains a few sans.
« Last Edit: January 25, 2009, 09:10:31 AM by Kalína Mërénwèn » Logged

"To me, fighters in close combat look much like a half-crazed butcher trying to dissect a fish with a wooden mallet."

Slautnik Wyr'thorne
Mannix
Ranger of Shadow
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Gender: Male
Posts: 816


Elf, Aellenrhim


« Reply #1 on: January 16, 2009, 07:38:47 PM »

Hey Slautnik. I'll just give you a little check, in orange.

Name: Slautnik Wyr'Thorne

Gender: Male

Age: 29

Race: Human

Tribe: Centoraurian

Occupation: Scholar

Title: Roaming Scholar

Overview: Slautnik is a kind Scholar with a thirst for adventure. He is intelligent and wise for his age, but he might not be ready for the hardships, or secrets, an adventuring life may bring.

Appearance: Slautnik is a man of medium height and light build. He has a gnarled look with corded muscles. His hair is medium-length,<~~(comma) tied in a small ponytail,<~~(comma) and he sports a twirled mustache. He squints a(space)lot because his eye-sight is a bit off, but not much to effect anything. (Then why does he squint? Doesn’t that mean it is affecting his sight.) His nose is large and slightly bulbous. (space)His hands are thin, and his fingers are long, from a large amount of writing. (I don’t think you can get long fingers from writing. I’m sure you meant his hand getting thin from it, so I’d suggest you move it to after that, rather than the long fingers part.) His hair is prematurely greying, making him look older than his 29 years. His skin is pale from staying indoors a good amount of his life. His face is a bit sunken, but a smile usually resides upon it.

(This is a pretty good appearance section. My only suggestion would be mix up the sentence beginnings, as nearly all of them are ‘his’. Try and think of a few words to throw in there, like his name or the scholar. It just makes it nicer to read. :))

Eye Colour: Blue

Hair Colour: Light brown, but grey on the edges.

Height: 1 Ped, 2 Fores, 1 Palmspan, 6 Nailsbreadths

Weight: 1 Pygge, 5 Hebs, 4 Ods, 2 Mut

Clothing: Slautnik dresses in a long-sleeved loose-fitting woolen shirt with a hood and loose woolen breaches, they that are reinforced with hardened leather. He wares short leather boots with brass buckles. All of his clothing is a dull grey-brown colour.

Strengths:

Literate: Slautnik can read and write, it's kind of a requirement if one is to be a scholar. (Hehe. But you should explain how this helps him.)

Fast learner: Ever since he was young, Slautnik always learned quickly. He was a good reader at a young age, and learned a(space)lot from books. Of course this strength/skill does not only apply to stuff you learn from books, it can be anything, from chopping wood to building towers! A thing about this is he has trouble mastering skills, he just learns the basics quickly.

Information Sponge: Slautnik's mind can absorb information like a sponge absorbs water. This information can be anything! From how to make good pie, to the feeding habits of clams...

Throwing Knives: Everybody gets bored, and when they’re not working or doing something else they need a hobby. Slautnik's hobby was to throw knives at a board, eventually he got pretty good at this and started trying trick throwing. Well trick throwing did not work well for him, but he learned how to conceal throwing knives.

Daggers: Slautnik also learned how to defend himself with daggers and other small weapons, such as short swords.

Weaknesses:

Clumsy: Poor Slautnik is a clumsy man. He tends to trip over his own feet and fumble his pen, this leads (Perhaps change this to ‘sometimes leading’) to slightly messy writing. That is only a small thing, falling on a wielded knife is not that much impossible.

Unreliable in combat: Slautnik is a bit cowardly, but that is not why he is unreliable. The reason he is unreliable in combat is in the middle of fighting, he'll just put away his weapon, pull out one of his books and feather pen then he'll start writing about the creature or beast or other.... thing and start Noting on there tactics, abilities and appearance. Of course if he already put down notes in his book(s) of the thing they are fighting, this won't happen.

Personality: Slautnik is a calm man. He likes relaxing, reading and writing when he has nothing better to do. He is generally happy with a jolly disposition and a friendly face. He is a friendly fellow, willing to help a man (or woman) in need. He tries to help the downtrodden, and poor to the best of his abilities, he encourages people to not break the law and generally is a nice guy. Everybody has their evils though, and Slautnik has a thing towards thieves, a big thing towards thieves. He hates thieves to the point where he will hunt them down. Stealing from him is like stealing a cub from a mother bear, getting out alive is going to be very hard. So don't steal from him and he'll give his life for you.

History: Slautnik was born into a Middle-Class family. His father was an architect and designed simple but sturdy buildings and his mother took care of him and his two brothers and one[/color] sister. He did not have a hard life compared to many children and he learned to read at the age of 11. So until the age of 16 Slautnik lived a normal life, but at 16 he life took a turn for the worst. His father had been missing for two days and had been found behind an old workhouse, beaten and bloody but just barely alive. It was later found out he was brutalized by a thief. He was taken to the nearest healer, but even he could not heal his injuries, and days later Slautnik's father died. For months Slautnik was thrown into a deep depression, and he remained in it for a great amount of time...

Many a year later,<~~(comma) at the age of 21, Slautnik had already left his family, forgot about his father and had formed a sharp mind. He had a yearning to find out about the world and learn all secrets. At the age of 25 he had studied and learned the ways of the scholar! He had a good life at the time, he took jobs looking and searching through books for the rich and when times where tough he took some scribing jobs. Most of the time he had a fair amount of sans in his coffer.

A little later in his life though, almost at the present time, people stopped needing his services and there where better scribes out there. Slowly his money started drifting away and as he became poorer and poorer he started throwing knives as a hobby and had a lust for knowledge! Eventually he could not take it anymore he had to great a lust for adventure and knowledge!

He spent most of his remaining sans on reinforcing his clothes and books, Buying a nice set of throwing knives, a fine set of feather pens, and purchasing a knife of exceptional quality.
He gave his home to his sister (mentioned earlier) and set off.

Weapons: Slautnik owns a Heavy Knife, used for combat as well as practical uses and a set of 12 well balanced Throwing Daggers.

Belongings:

Other than his clothes (Mentioned under clothing) Slautnik also owns:

- 3 large leather-bound books, all empty, these books are used by Slautnik to enter interesting information he may come by.

- A Bag used for storing his books.

- 3 jars of ink, 2 black, 1 red.

- A large set of feather pens in a wooden case

- 3 small bags, empty.

- A Money purse, contains 70 sans. (I’d suggest you don’t put the exact money in your CD, as this may change, for example, if he buys some drinks at a tavern. You could just say a fair or nominal amount of money, depending on what you want for him)



Well that was a very easy check. There was nothing really too bad that I noticed. Well done. Just watch your spelling. ;) I’ll change you posticon to the pencil, so make sure to change it back when your ready for more comments. And remember to colour all of your changes. Good luck. :)

Mannix
Logged

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
Mannix Vaelos ~ Character Creation Help ~ FAQs ~ Restrictions
Slautnik Wyr'thorne
Roaming Scholar
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Gender: Male
Posts: 90


Human, Centoraurian


« Reply #2 on: January 17, 2009, 09:33:52 AM »

Okay , I have fixed up all the errors mentioned. All fixes are in the grand colour of blue!
« Last Edit: January 17, 2009, 09:35:33 AM by Slautnik Wyr'thorne » Logged

"To me, fighters in close combat look much like a half-crazed butcher trying to dissect a fish with a wooden mallet."

Slautnik Wyr'thorne
Slautnik Wyr'thorne
Roaming Scholar
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Gender: Male
Posts: 90


Human, Centoraurian


« Reply #3 on: January 18, 2009, 08:55:06 AM »

I got a little bored and added a few things, inlcuding a new weakness.
Logged

"To me, fighters in close combat look much like a half-crazed butcher trying to dissect a fish with a wooden mallet."

Slautnik Wyr'thorne
Kalína Dalá'isyrás
Dalá'isyrás
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Gender: Female
Posts: 12803


High Elf, Kaýrrhem


« Reply #4 on: January 18, 2009, 09:02:47 AM »

70 peds is actually a good distance to see for being near-sighted. I am near, but can't really see much beyond 50 yards clearly. Street signs are tricky just 10 yards away.
Logged

Insanity is only a perception made by those who have yet to attain its greatness. While those of us who have already stepped inside its bounds find bliss in our utter madness.
Nai'r en'Lina ar'Kaimel
Zann Lightbringer
Blessed Healer
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Posts: 297


Human, Erpheronian


« Reply #5 on: January 18, 2009, 10:46:27 AM »

Greetings Slutnik, and welcome to the Dream. Comments in the fiery color of red.

Name: Slautnik Wyr'Thorne

Gender: Male

Age: 29, looks a bit older though.

Race: Human

Tribe: Centoraurian

Occupation: Scholar

Title: Roaming Scholar

Overview: Slautnik is a kind (s)Scholar with a thirst for adventure. He is intelligent and wise for his age, but he might not be ready for the hardships, or secrets, an adventuring life may bring.

Appearance: Slautnik is a man of medium height and light build, he has a (g)Gnarled look with corded muscles. His hair is (m)Medium-length, tied in a small pony-tail, and he sports a twirled mustache. Slautnik squints a lot because his eye-sight is a bit off. His nose is large and slightly bulbous. The scholar's fingers are long, and his hands are thin, from a large amount of writing. His hair is prematurely greying, making him look older than his 29 years. His skin is pale from staying indoors a good amount of his life. His face is a bit sunken, but a smile usually resides upon it.

Eye Colour: Blue

Hair Colour: Light brown, but grey on the edges.

Height: 1 Ped, 2 Fores, 1 Palmspan, 6 Nailsbreadths

Weight: 1 Pygge, 5 Hebs, 4 Ods, 2 Mut

Clothing: Slautnik dresses in a long-sleaved(sleeved) loose-fitting woolen shirt with a hood and loose woolen breaches(breeches), that are reinforced with hardened leather. He wares(wears) short leather boots with brass buckles. All of his clothing is a dull grey-brown colour.

Strengths:

Literate: Slautnik can read and write, It's kind of a requirement if one is to be a scholar. This allows him to read signs, learn thins(things) faster than other people (by reading books) and takes jobs as a scribe.

Fast learner: Ever since he was young, Slautnik always learned quickly. He was a good reader at a young age, and learned a lot from books. Of course this strength/skill does not only apply to stuff you learn from books, it can be anything, from chopping wood to building towers! A thing about this is he has trouble mastering skills, he just learns the basics quickly.

Information Sponge: Slautnik's mind can absorb information like a sponge absorbs water. this information can be anything! From how to make good pie, to the feeding habits of clams...(Fast Learner and this skill is just the same.)

Throwing Knives: Everybody gets bored, and when they're not working or doing something else they need a hobby. Slautnik's hobby was to throw knives at a board, eventually he got pretty good at this and started trying trick throwing. Well trick throwing did not work well for him, but he learned how to conceal throwing knives.

Daggers: Slautnik also learned how to defend himself with daggers and other small weapons, such as short swords. This is basic defence though, and when he employs in combat it looks kind of like a half-crazed butcher trying to dissect a fish.(Knowing how to use a dagger is different from using a short sword. They should be listed as separate strengths.)

Weaknesses:

Clumsy: Poor Slautnik is a clumsy man. He tends to trip over his own feet and fumble his pen, sometimes leading to slightly messy writing. That is only a small thing, falling on a wielded knife is not that much impossible.

Unreliable in combat: Slautnik is a bit cowardly, but that is not why he is unreliable. The reason he is unreliable in combat is in the middle of fighting, he'll just put away his weapon, pull out one of his books and feather pen then he'll start writing about the creature or beast or other.... thing(s) and start (n)Noting on there(their) tactics, abilities and appearance. Of course if he already put down notes in his book(s) of the thing they are fighting, this won't happen.

Bad eyesight: Over the course of his life Slautnik has grown a bit near sighted. He has trouble seeing anything from a distance of more than 60 peds, and cannot see small details from even a quarter of the distance!

Personality: Slautnik is a calm man. He likes relaxing, reading and writing when he has nothing better to do. He is generally happy with a jolly disposition and a friendly face. He is a friendly fellow, willing to help a man (or woman) in need. He tries to help the downtrodden, and poor to the best of his abilities, he encourages people to not break the law and generally is a nice guy. Everybody has their evils though, and Slautnik has a thing towards thieves, a big thing towards thieves. He hates thieves to the point where he will hunt them down. Stealing from him is like stealing a cub from a mother bear, getting out alive is going to be very hard. So don't steal from him and he'll give his life for you.

History: Slautnik was born into a (m)Middle-(c)Class family. His father was an architect and designed simple but sturdy buildings his and mother took care of him and his two brothers and one sister. He did not have a hard life compared to many children and he learned to read at the age of 11. So until the age of 16 Slautnik lived a normal life, but at 16 he(his) life took a turn for the worst. His father had been missing for two days and had been found behind an old workhouse, beaten and bloody but just barely alive, it was later found out he was brutalized by a thief. He was taken to the nearest healer, but even he could not heal his injuries, days later Slautnik's father died. For months Slautnik was thrown into a deep depression, and he remained in it for a great amount of time...

Many a year later, at the age of 21, Slautnik had already left his family, forgot about his father and had formed a sharp mind. He had a yearning to find out about the world and learn all secrets. At the age of 25 he had studied and learned the ways of the scholar! He had a good life at the time, he took jobs looking and searching through books for the rich and when times where tough he took some scribing jobs. Most of the time he had a fair amount of sans in his coffer.(Where did he learn how to read and write?)

A little later in his Life though, almost at the present time, people stopped needing his services and there where better scribes out there. Slowly his money started drifting away and as he became poorer and poorer he started throwing knives as a hobby and had a lust for knowledge! Eventually he could not take it anymore he had to(too) great a lust for adventure and knowledge!(I don't understand this paragraph. After he became poor, he decided to practice throwing knives and immediately got a hunger for knowledge? How does this all connect to each other?)

He spent most of his remaining sans on reinforcing his clothes and books, Buying a nice set of throwing knives, a fine set of feather pens, and purchasing a knife of exceptional quality.
He gave his home to his sister (mentioned earlier) and set off.

Weapons: Slautnik owns a Heavy Knife, used for combat as well as practical uses and a set of 12 well balanced Throwing Daggers.

Belongings:

Other than his clothes (Mentioned under clothing) Slautnik also owns:

- 3 large leather-bound books, all empty, these books are used by slautnik to enter interesting information he may come by.

- A Bag used for storing his books.

- 3 jars of ink, 2 black, 1 red.

- A large set of feather pens in a fine wooden case.

- 3 small bags, empty.

- A Money purse, contains a fair amount of sans.

And there you go. Have a nice day.
Logged

Show me a man who walks into a sick tent with no thought of his own health and I'll show you a brave man.
Zann Lightbringer, servant of Nehtor.
Slautnik Wyr'thorne
Roaming Scholar
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Gender: Male
Posts: 90


Human, Centoraurian


« Reply #6 on: January 18, 2009, 12:27:11 PM »

Once again, I have fixed all said problems.
« Last Edit: January 18, 2009, 02:53:56 PM by Slautnik Wyr'thorne » Logged

"To me, fighters in close combat look much like a half-crazed butcher trying to dissect a fish with a wooden mallet."

Slautnik Wyr'thorne
Aylix Goth
New Santharian

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Gender: Male
Posts: 725



Homepage
« Reply #7 on: January 18, 2009, 08:47:30 PM »

To carry on my trend - red is my colour of choice. It's my second read through of you CD so comments are just up as they come to me. =]

Name: Slautnik Wyr'Thorne

Gender: Male

Age: 29, looks a bit older though. How much older?

Race: Human

Tribe: Centoraurian

Occupation: Scholar

Title: Roaming Scholar

Overview: Slautnik is a kind scholar with a thirst for adventure. He is intelligent and wise for his age, but he might not be ready for the hardships, or secrets, an adventuring life may bring. I'm not sure "for his age" is the right expression here... He's 29, I'm not sure of an average age of humans on Santharia but if I were to guess he's probably creeping up on half his life being gone already... (sorry to anyone reading this who is around 30 >.> ) From my read through he's HAD hardships in life, so what hardships could he be exposed to?

Appearance: Slautnik is a man of medium height and light build, he has a gnarled look with corded muscles. His hair is medium-length, This always bugs me, personally... How long is medium length? Medium length compared to who? tied in a small pony-tail, and he sports a twirled mustache. Slautnik squints a lot because his eye-sight is a bit off. His nose is large and slightly bulbous. The scholar's fingers are long, and his hands are thin, from a large amount of writing. His hair is prematurely greying, making him look older than his 29 years. His skin is pale from staying indoors a good amount of his life. His face is a bit sunken, but a smile usually resides upon it.

Eye Colour: Blue

Hair Colour: Light brown, but grey on the edges.

Height: 1 Ped, 2 Fores, 1 Palmspan, 6 Nailsbreadths

Weight: 1 Pygge, 5 Hebs, 4 Ods, 2 Mut

Clothing: Slautnik dresses in a long-sleeved loose-fitting woolen shirt with a hood and loose woolen breeches, that are reinforced with hardened leather. He wears short leather boots with brass buckles. All of his clothing is a dull blue colour.

Strengths:

Literate: Slautnik can read and write, It's kind of a requirement if one is to be a scholar. This allows him to read signs, learn things faster than other people (by reading books) and takes jobs as a scribe.

Fast learner: Ever since he was young, Slautnik always learned quickly. He was a good reader at a young age, and learned a lot from books. Of course this strength/skill does not only apply to stuff you learn from books, it can be anything, from chopping wood to building towers! A thing about this is he has trouble mastering skills, he just learns the basics quickly.

Throwing Knives: Everybody gets bored, and when they're not working or doing something else they need a hobby. Slautnik's hobby was to throw knives at a board, eventually he got pretty good at this and started trying trick throwing. Well trick throwing did not work well for him, but he learned how to conceal throwing knives.

Daggers: Slautnik also learned how to defend himself with daggers. This is basic defence though, and when he employs in combat it looks kind of like a half-crazed butcher trying to dissect a fish.

Weaknesses:

Clumsy: Poor Slautnik is a clumsy man. He tends to trip over his own feet and fumble his pen, sometimes leading to slightly messy writing. That is only a small thing, falling on a wielded knife is not that much impossible.

Unreliable in combat: Slautnik is a bit cowardly, but that is not why he is unreliable. The reason he is unreliable in combat is in the middle of fighting, he'll just put away his weapon, pull out one of his books and feather pen then he'll start writing about the creature or beast or other.... thing and start noting on there tactics, abilities and appearance. Of course if he already put down notes in his book(s) of the thing they are fighting, this won't happen. Nyah... I find this a TAD unbelievable... If he's back to back with someone surrounded by orcs and he's desperately parrying for his life with his little dagger, he's not going to suddenly sit down and write because he's noticed that they've a slightly darker skin tone, they fight differently and they wear more tribal effects than orcs he's come across in the past  is he? Maybe a tad more clarification?

Bad eyesight: Over the course of his life Slautnik has grown a bit near sighted. He has trouble seeing anything from a distance of more than 60 peds, and cannot see small details from even a quarter of the distance!

Personality: Slautnik is a calm man. He likes relaxing, reading and writing when he has nothing better to do. He is generally happy with a jolly disposition and a friendly face. He is a friendly fellow, willing to help a man (or woman) in need. He tries to help the downtrodden, and poor to the best of his abilities, he encourages people to not break the law and generally is a nice guy. Everybody has their evils though, and Slautnik has a thing towards thieves, a big thing towards thieves. He hates thieves to the point where he will hunt them down. Stealing from him is like stealing a cub from a mother bear, getting out alive is going to be very hard. So don't steal from him and he'll give his life for you. I wouldn't call his attitude towads thieves an "evil"... Though I'm struggling to come up with a decent word to replace it...

History: Slautnik was born into a middle-class family. His father was an architect and designed simple but sturdy buildings his and mother took care of him and his two brothers and one sister. He did not have a hard life compared to many children and his father taught him how to read at the age of 11. Instead of his father just suddenly teaching him to read at 11... he could have schooled him from a young age - allowing him to play as children normally would but also having this idea that knowledge was wonderful and easily accessible if he only knew how from a very young age. Perhaps Slautnik was enthralled by his father's designs and the only way he could know more was to learn to read? So until the age of 16 Slautnik lived a normal life, but at 16 his life took a turn for the worst. His father had been missing for two days and had been found Possibly word this "After being missing for two days, his father had been found..." ? Maybe? behind an old workhouse, beaten and bloody but just barely alive, it was later found out he was brutalized by a thug. Any particular reason why? He was taken to the nearest healer, but even he could not heal his injuries, days later Slautnik's father died. For months Slautnik was thrown into a deep depression, and he remained in it for a great amount of time...

Many a year later, at the age of 21, Slautnik had already left his family, forgot about his father 16-21 is only five years... I know if my old man had been killed I wouldn't forget about him in a hurry... What pushed him away from his familar and made him forget his father? and had formed a sharp mind. He had a yearning to find out about the world and learn all secrets. At the age of 25 he had studied and learned the ways of the scholar! He had a good life at the time, he took jobs looking and searching through books for the rich and when times where tough he took some scribing jobs. Most of the time he had a fair amount of sans in his coffer. He built up is own small library with most of his money, buying books of every single possible subject, from from....?

A little later in his life though, almost at the present time, people stopped needing his services and there were better scribes out there. Slowly his money started drifting away and as he became poorer and poorer he started throwing knives as a hobby, for he had much more time on his hands than he used to. Another thing that bothered him was he still had a thirst for knowledge and had nothing to quench it with! He pondered many-a-night for a way to gain more knowledge, in the end he only had thought of one option, he had to go out and expereicence it for himself! This was not appealing to the city-raised scholar who, never in his life, had to even leave the place he spent his whole life, but it had to be done, and what must be done, must be done!

He spent most of his remaining sans on reinforcing his clothes and books, Buying a nice set of throwing knives, a fine set of feather pens, and purchasing a knife of exceptional quality.
He gave his home to his sister (mentioned earlier) and set off.

Weapons: Slautnik owns a Heavy Knife, used for combat as well as practical uses and a set of 12 well balanced Throwing Daggers.

Belongings:

Other than his clothes (Mentioned under clothing) Slautnik also owns:

- 3 large leather-bound books, all empty, these books are used by slautnik to enter interesting information he may come by.

- A Bag used for storing his books.

- 3 jars of ink, 2 black, 1 red.

- A large set of feather pens in a fine wooden case.

- 3 small bags, empty.

- A Money purse, contains a fair amount of sans.

It reads well - and he does sound like a very well thought out character... I can almost see him with a kind of Twoflower outlook on life, going up to EVERYTHING he sees pointing and saying "That's quite interesting... That's quite interesting... That's quite interesting... That's quite interesting..."

Bravo from me!
« Last Edit: January 18, 2009, 08:49:01 PM by Aylix Goth » Logged

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« Reply #8 on: January 18, 2009, 08:51:21 PM »

very stronger! Thumb up
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« Reply #9 on: January 19, 2009, 04:23:15 AM »

I have (hopefully) fixed all mistakes, confusions and grammatical errors!  :D
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"To me, fighters in close combat look much like a half-crazed butcher trying to dissect a fish with a wooden mallet."

Slautnik Wyr'thorne
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« Reply #10 on: January 19, 2009, 01:55:59 PM »

Eureka! I have myself a picture! With the help of Vallari of course!
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"To me, fighters in close combat look much like a half-crazed butcher trying to dissect a fish with a wooden mallet."

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Eléyr Fásamár
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« Reply #11 on: January 20, 2009, 07:50:05 AM »

This is looking very good, and I only have a few teensy things before I believe this is ready for approval.

Quote
His hair almost reaches his shoulders and is tied in a small pony-tail tied in a small pony-tail, and he sports a twirled mustache.

First, you said 'in a small pony-tail' twice in a row, and second, I think this should be broken into two sentences, as you already have the and of the pony tail, so the second and for the twirled mustache seems a little run-onnish.

Quote
That is only a small thing, falling on a wielded knife is not that much impossible.

The last little clause thing just seems a bit odd to me. Perhaps 'not in any way impossible' would flow a bit better, but that's just a suggestion.

Quote
...pull out one of his books and feather pen(period) Then he'll start writing about the creature or beast or other.... thing and start noting on there<--their tactics, abilities and appearance.

Quote
Slautnik was born into a middle-class family. His father was an architect and designed simple but sturdy buildings his and and his mother took care of him and his two brothers and one sister.

Quote
...his father started to teach him how to read at the age of 8,(Here you need to either add and or change it to a semicolon, or start a new sentence) he learned quickly and almost mastered it by 11.

That's all for now, and this is definitely looking good. :)
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Slautnik Wyr'thorne
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« Reply #12 on: January 24, 2009, 03:00:20 AM »

Ok, I have done a few small changes to slautnik:

-First, I have changed my clothing a bit.

-second, I have replaced his dagger strength with a crossbow one.

-third, I have more than doubled his history, giving reason to why he has a crossbow strength whike at it.

-fouth i have rewritten my weapons section, giving a bit more detail.

-and last I described his books, what there used for and gets written in 'em.

I think that is all... Thumb up
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"To me, fighters in close combat look much like a half-crazed butcher trying to dissect a fish with a wooden mallet."

Slautnik Wyr'thorne
Eléyr Fásamár
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« Reply #13 on: January 25, 2009, 12:50:33 AM »

I have no further problems with this. :D

~First Approval~

Go ahead and remove the correction's coloring while you wait, and I would recommend coloring section titles, it always makes it a little bit easier for everyone to find the info they need ;)
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Those who say only Insanity can bring true relaxation...
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Simonne Miller
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« Reply #14 on: January 25, 2009, 02:21:25 AM »

No problem from me either! Second approval :D
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