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Author Topic: Pline/Feyling/Troubador  (Read 3501 times)
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Pline
Wordsmith
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« on: April 19, 2009, 09:43:25 AM »

Name:
Phýrliánn or Pline

Gender:
Male

Age:
52

Race:
Feyling (Elf/Hobbit)

Tribe:
Helmondshire and Maeverhim (Black Butterfly Rovers)

Occupation:
Troubadour

Title:
Wordsmith

Appearance:

Height:
1 ped, 1 fore 1 palmspan 3 nailsbredths

Hair Colour:
Black

Eye Colour:
Green

Physical Appearance:
Odd to behold, Pline is thin, and of very fine features. He appears to be cast of porcelain or smooth marble when compared to a normal halfling. His nose is much thinner than that of a typical Halfling, and seems to be pointed rather than rounded, almost like the beak of a bird. His black hair, caught in a tail at the back of his head with a clip, matches the curly hair on his bare and heavily calloused feet. His nails are black, both on feet and hands, and are left slightly long to show that. His ears are pointed slightly, which hints at his unusual heritage. His feet and hands seem rather outsized for the rest of him, both seeming too big for the limbs they are attached to. Pline is slightly long of leg and arm as well, both are very thin for his overall build and give him a gangly look, similar perhaps to a monkey. There is very little in the way of muscle to his arms, they seem all skin and bones, and his legs are not much better. Pline's torso appears much more padded by comparison, but over all it seems like a good gale might carry him away.
Pline has a pair of black butterflies tattooed on each arm, one at the shoulder and another just before the wrist. Though he is a venerable 52, Pline appears to be no more than 35.

Clothing:
Pline’s preferred clothing echoes the loose garb of the Maeverhim, while staying very close in colour to the raucous and bright colours worn by the Rovers, with a touch or two of Halfling practicality. Pline’s shirts are dyed waterberry blue, with slightly baggy sleeves, which can be pushed up and buttoned to transform the garment into a shorter sleeved shirt. He wears a pair of similar dark brown pants, and a leather vest with pockets on the inside for pipe and pipeweed. Pline also has a hooded cloak, of brown wool suited for traveling. Both his cloak and his hair are caught with simple wooden clasps shaped like a butterfly.

Personality:
Pline mixes perhaps the best of both parent’s personalities, combining the simple, appreciative view of a Halfling with the longsighted insight of an elf. He has acquired a bent towards jokes and laughter from both sides of his ancestry, and a carefree manner, particularly when telling stories. Pline loves stories, and collects them for the purposes of telling. Among the Rovers Pline is noted for his knowledge of stories and songs, perhaps because of his age. Pline takes a dim view of trained bards, particularly those from Bardavos, and makes it his business to turn their faces red with embarrassment or anger when he can. Pline is also subject to violent mood swings, often towards anger or deep depression, and hides it under a distinctive, biting wit.

Strengths and Weaknesses:

Strengths:
Pline is a gifted bard, and knows many, many stories, partly because of his age, and has a way of telling them that entrances the audiences. Pline’s knowledge of stories and tales among the Black Butterfly Rovers is second to none.

Pline is also a musician and can sing a good tune, while playing his mandolin, in Styrash or in Tharian. He may never rival a formally trained and practiced musician but he can play an appreciable number of tunes quite well. Pline’s artistry comes out best on the mandolin, though he can play a decent tune on the flute as well. Pline never plays cheerful music on the flute, preferring to use his mandolin for that.

Pline speaks Styrash and Tharian equally well, enough that he can tell stories and hold a conversation with speakers of both languages and not trip over himself though the more cultural aspects, particularly of Styrash, escape him completely.

Weaknesses:

Pline wears his heritage proudly, including his membership in the Black Butterfly Rovers, which has had him refused from quite a few places, including taverns and inns where he has tried to play. His heritage as a Maeverhim means that those not Earthburned hold apart from him.

Pline is prideful to a fault, and frowns deeply on anyone attempting to usurp his position, or making a slight (perceived or otherwise.) often to the point of a challenge, often of the hasty variety. Bards are a frequent victim of this particular trait, usually receiving something along the lines of a challenge or a tongue-lashing.

History:
Pline’s father, a Maeverhim elf who became Earthburned by a series of unfortunate circumstances joined the Rovers, where he met with Pline’s mother, a Helmondshire Halfling and a skilled player of the flute.  The group, lacking the sort of shunning that either parent would receive in their homes lent itself almost too perfectly to the raising of their son. By the time he was old enough to begin doing more than running around and playing in the Rover’s camp, Pline had already expressed some talent for music, particularly the playing of the flute.
He was a misfit among misfits, aging much more slowly than most of the children in the group, and more intelligent. When he was older, Pline's father explained this misfortune that being earthburned would bring him, which struck Pline deeply. How could people shun someone for simply having walked on the ground? It was a confusing concept for the young Pline, but as he grew older it simply angered him.
Though their route never took them anywhere near the vaulted home of the Maeverhim, Pline’s father was always slightly depressed when they travelled through forests. Pline’s father fell into a rut at some point, and after a year of black depression, killed himself. Pline’s mother fell ill soon after, a slow, wasting illness that those among the Rovers learned in such things assumed was the result of heartbreak.

Pline never recovered completely from the deaths of both parents in so short a time, though he managed to hide it well enough. Old enough to fend for himself at the time, Pline had a set of black butterflies tattooed on either arm, took up playing the mandolin, and left his practice of the flute by the wayside and letting it suffer as a result. By the time he had come to grips with their deaths, Pline had grown somewhat insular, and developed a terrible habit towards verbally assaulting people who tried to talk to him. Most of the people within the group remembered his parents and their deaths, and served only to remind Pline of them, so he left.

Pline's initial run-ins with prejudice left him bitter and snappy. He was often thrown out of three taverns a night at the very least, and spent more than one night sleeping in an out of the way corner or under a hedge instead of in a warm bed. By the time he'd learned enough to avoid some of the more prejudiced corners of the world, Pline had developed a plethora of what could only be called barbs.

Pline's pride was often a sticking point for him when it came to getting in fights and led to any number of bumps, scrapes, minor cuts and similar injuries. Bards of course were a problem, regardless of whether or not the person the term had been applied to was a trained bard or not. Pline hated bards, with the sort of deep seated, primal dislike that usually takes a lifetime or extreme traumatizing to create. Bards were, as Pline put it, "pompous, over-arrogant, poorly mannered bastards" which is some of the nicer things he has had to say about them over the years.

Belongings:
Pline’s most prized possessions are his mandolin and his mother’s flute, along with his walking stick, a stout length of well carved dark oak as tall as he is, his field glasses and his pipe.
« Last Edit: May 01, 2009, 11:59:58 PM by Azhira Elrosse » Logged

Fertalimeo,Solitia
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« Reply #1 on: April 21, 2009, 08:19:29 PM »

Just quickly, you are over powered, weaken yourself.
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Lucian
The Orphan
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Posts: 46


Human, Kasumarii


« Reply #2 on: April 21, 2009, 09:21:49 PM »

Hey Pline, just thought I'd point out a few things.

With your Appearance, I think you should expand on his physical shape a little more. Does his legs look too long for his body, or does he have more of a torso? Are his feet too big, or really small? Also, I think you are missing his weight.

Lastly, I know some mods and character commenters like short histories (I think that is how you spell it) but you should probably expand a bit more. Were there any significant times in his past? Good moments or bad ones? Did he ever get into a fight or meet a pretty lass? Put all that in there.

Your CD was a good read, well done and good luck
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Pline
Wordsmith
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« Reply #3 on: April 22, 2009, 03:25:16 AM »

Fertalimeo: I really don't see where you are coming from here. The ability to play an instrument or speak a language is not a particularly outsized strength in my opinion, and you haven't provided any reasoning for how it isn't.

Lucian: I'll try, but character history is not my forte. The weight is listed as optional, and I've had some difficulty getting it right. I'll get around to including a general overview of his build though.

Newest updates be in RED
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Isoto
The Widow
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Elf, Coór'hém


« Reply #4 on: April 22, 2009, 12:56:58 PM »

Hello and welcome to Santharia. Allmy comments will be in Lime Green

Name
Phýrliánn or Pline

Gender
Male

Age
52  (is he 52 years old or 52 in apperance? If he is 52 years then he will only appear to be 35. And if he looks 52 then he will acctually be 276 years old. Im just curious)

Race
Feyling (Elf/Hobbit)

Tribe
Black Butterfly Rovers (The BBR technically is not a tribe) (Helmondshire and Maeverhim)

Occupation
Troubadour

Title
Troubadour (Your title is used to helpset your character apart from other characters. It kinda gives your character flare and describes them in a way. I would suggest usinga more unique title. It doesn't have to be fancy, just an extra word to set you apart form any other Troubadours.)
Appearance

Height
1 ped, 2 fores  1 palmspan (Right now you character stands at 5'9" or 1 meter 75 centimeters (if you are on metric) IMO this is rather tall for a Feyling. Even with the elf in him Idon't think he would be this tall)

Hair Colour
Black

Eye Colour
Green

Strengths and Weaknesses

Strengths
Pline is a gifted bard, and knows many, many stories, partly because of his age, and has a way of telling them that entrances the audiences. Pline’s knowledge of stories and tales among the Black Butterfly Rovers is second to none. (Bards tended to sing as well as tell stories, you could actually combine the two strengths into one IMO)

Pline is also a musician and can sing a good tune, while playing his lute (you mention lute here but through out the rest of your CD it says that he learned to play the flute. Ming you these are two very different intruments. Did he learn both, if so please make note of it in your strenghths and your history. Also if you did mean flute then how can he sing while he plays?) in Styrash or in Tharian. He may never rival a formally trained and practiced musician but he can play an appreciable number of tunes quite well. Pline’s artistry comes out best on the mandolin, though he can play a decent tune on the flute as well. Pline never plays cheerful music on the flute, preferring to use his mandolin for that.

Pline speaks Styrash and Tharian equally well, enough that he can tell stories and hold a conversation with speakers of both languages and not trip over himself though the more cultural aspects, particularly of Styrash, escape him completely.

Weaknesses

Pline wears his heritage proudly, including his membership in the Black Butterfly Rovers, which has had him refused from quite a few places, including taverns and inns where he has tried to play. His heritage as a Maeverhim means that those not EarthBurned hold apart from him.

Pline is prideful to a fault, and frowns deeply on anyone attempting to usurp his position, or making a slight (perceived or otherwise.) often to the point of a challenge, often of the hasty variety. Bards are a frequent victim of this particular trait, usually receiving something along the lines of a challenge or a tongue-lashing.

(As of now you are slightly unbalanced. The knowledge of two languages is arather uncommon thing. But another weakness would balance this out. You mentioned his mood swings and anger. These will need to be mentioned as weaknessesand should help to balance you out.)

History
Pline’s father, a Maeverhim elf who became Earthburned by a series of unfortunate circumstances joined the Rovers, where he met with Pline’s mother, a Helmondshire Halfling and a skilled player of the flute.  The group, lacking the sort of shunning that either parent would receive in their homes lent itself almost too perfectly to the raising of their son. By the time he was old enough to begin doing more than running around and playing in the Rover’s camp, Pline had already expressed some talent for music, particularly the playing of the flute.
He was a misfit among misfits, aging much more slowly than most of the children in the group, and more intelligent. Though their route never took them anywhere near the vaulted home of the Maeverhim, Pline’s father was always slightly depressed when they travelled through forests. Pline’s father fell into a rut  at some point, and after a year of black depression, killed himself. Pline’s mother fell ill soon after, a slow, wasting illness that those among the Rovers learned in such things assumed was the result of heartbreak.
Pline never recovered completely from the deaths of both parents in so short a time, though he managed to hide it well enough. Old enough to fend for himself at the time, Pline had a set of black butterflies tattooed on either arm, took up playing the mandolin, and left his practice of the flute by the wayside and letting it suffer as a result. By the time he had come to grips with their deaths, Pline had grown somewhat insular, and developed a terrible habit towards verbally assaulting people who tried to talk to him. Most of the people within the group remembered his parents and their deaths, and served only to remind Pline of them, so he left.

(As of now your history needs more to it. You could go into more detail about his time with the BBR. Also what became of him after he left. Being so old he had to have had some experiences.)


Alrighty thats all for now, Once again welcome and Good Luck
« Last Edit: April 22, 2009, 02:32:08 PM by Isoto » Logged

"I'm tired and you're in my way"

~Isoto~

Need help with your character?
Fertalimeo,Solitia
Guest
« Reply #5 on: April 22, 2009, 02:50:54 PM »

Perhaps Pline...

But your weaknesses are not that great either, for example, one of your two weaknesses are that your character is not allowed in some places, not exactly a great weakness, for there are many Inns, tavens and bazaers in Caelereth that shall allow you entry.
And while it is true that your strengths are not overwelming, they still outnumber your weaknesses three to two.
So, I believe that it is not that much of a request for you to weaken your character considerably, one or two more weaknesses should suvice, any more would make you overly vunerible.
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Simonne Miller
Meddling Herbalist
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Human, Caltharian


« Reply #6 on: April 22, 2009, 03:15:24 PM »

We're not looking for a one-on-one balancing, Fertalimeo. Just because Pline has 3 strengths and 2 weaknesses doesn't mean he's overpowered.

He's good at telling tales and playing music, and he's bilingual. Balancing that is that he's refused from most of the taverns where he tries to play (don't underestimate just how many 'decent' tavern-owners would throw out someone they know to be a black butterfly rover) and he's too proud, so he takes criticism wrongly, landing him in many an argument, if I understand the weakness correctly. If played right, this is not overpowered. But only if played right! *looks at Pline over the rims of her glasses, even though she's not wearing any glasses at the moment*
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Youth is a gift of nature, but old age is a work of art
Simonne Miller
Fertalimeo,Solitia
Guest
« Reply #7 on: April 22, 2009, 04:33:10 PM »

{nods briefly at Simonne}
Very well.

Besides that slight, but notable, problem, this CD is polishing up quite nicely, don't you agree.
« Last Edit: April 22, 2009, 04:39:12 PM by Fertalimeo & Solitia » Logged
Pline
Wordsmith
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Posts: 64



« Reply #8 on: April 22, 2009, 08:55:10 PM »

Ack! The dreaded "librarian stare". I shall try my utmost to play it properly.
I'll try to work in some more history when I can think it up.
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Simonne Miller
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Human, Caltharian


« Reply #9 on: April 23, 2009, 04:40:38 AM »

Well one idea, if you care for some advise, is to tell us a bit more about his father - how did he react to being earthburned and what part of that did he pass on to Pline? Sorry I don't have more advise, I haven't actually had the time to read the whole thing so I'm just passing on the one thing I noticed while scanning through ;)
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Youth is a gift of nature, but old age is a work of art
Simonne Miller
Pline
Wordsmith
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Posts: 64



« Reply #10 on: April 25, 2009, 07:21:53 AM »

I've been trying to figure in some more about his father but the history is about the character, not his father, so it's a little hard. Anyone mind giving this a quick blitz through to see how the updating is going (new stuff in red)
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Airyn
The Worrywort
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Elf, Kay'rrhem


« Reply #11 on: April 25, 2009, 08:52:26 AM »

Hey Pline, I'll just have a quick looksie over your history. My comments will be in pink.

Pline’s father, a Maeverhim elf who became Earthburned by a series of unfortunate circumstances joined the Rovers, where he met with Pline’s mother, a Helmondshire Halfling and a skilled player of the flute.  The group, lacking the sort of shunning that either parent would receive in their homes lent itself almost too perfectly to the raising of their son. By the time he was old enough to begin doing more than running around and playing in the Rover’s camp, Pline had already expressed some talent for music, particularly the playing of the flute.

He was a misfit among misfits, aging much more slowly than most of the children in the group, and more intelligent. When he was older, Pline's father explained this misfortune that being earthburned would bring him, which struck Pline deeply. How could people shun someone for simply having walked on the ground? It was a confusing concept for the young Pline, but as he grew older it simply angered him.

Though their route never took them anywhere near the vaulted home of the Maeverhim, Pline’s father was always slightly depressed when they travelled through forests. Pline’s father fell into a rut Only one space here at some point, and after a year of black depression, killed himself. Pline’s mother fell ill soon after, a slow, wasting illness that those among the Rovers learned in such things assumed was the result of heartbreak.
Space
Pline never recovered completely from the deaths of both parents in so short a time, though he managed to hide it well enough. Old enough to fend for himself at the time, Pline had a set of black butterflies tattooed on either arm, took up playing the mandolin, and left his practice of the flute by the wayside and letting it suffer as a result. By the time he had come to grips with their deaths, Pline had grown somewhat insular, and developed a terrible habit towards verbally assaulting people who tried to talk to him. Most of the people within the group remembered his parents and their deaths, and served only to remind Pline of them, so he left.

Pline's initial run-ins with prejudice left him bitter and snappy. He was often thrown out of three taverns a night at the very least, and spent more than one night sleeping in an out of the way corner or under a hedge instead of in a warm bed. By the time he'd learned enough to avoid some of the more prejudiced corners of the world, Pline had developed a plethora of what could only be called barbs.

You mentioned in his Strengths and Weaknesses that he can speak Tharian and Styrash. You need say how he learned these skills in your history.

I know that was only VERY short, but I'm afraid I had only nitpicks for you. A wonderful CD you have here  Thumb up
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Pline
Wordsmith
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« Reply #12 on: April 25, 2009, 09:11:07 AM »

No worries Airyn. Every little bit helps. Also: le fixed,
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Deklitch Hardin
Truth Seeker
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Human, Erpheronian


« Reply #13 on: April 25, 2009, 09:18:34 AM »

Hi Pline,

A few suggestions and questions by me regarding your CD.  Suggestions in yellow and questions in maroon.

Name
Phýrliánn or Pline

Gender
Male

Age
52

Race
Feyling (Elf/Hobbit)

Tribe
Black Butterfly Rovers (Helmondshire and Maeverhim)
It was previously pointed out by Isoto that the BBRs were not technically a tribe.  The way I think of it is that the BBRs are more like a group of like minded people drawn from multiple tribes/races ... eg like Scouts ... Scouts can be Australian or New Zealand or from the US or ... much like BBRs can be Helmondshire, Maeverhim, Erpheronium, Mitharum etc. Maybe don't refer to the BBRs here at all?

Occupation
Troubadour

Title
Wordsmith

Appearance

Height
1 ped, 2 fores  1 palmspan

Hair Colour
Black

Eye Colour
Green

Physical Appearance
Odd to behold, Pline is thin, and of very fine features. He appears to be cast of porcelain or smooth marble when compared to a normal halfling. His nose is much thinner than that of a typical Halfling, and seems to be pointed rather than rounded, almost like the beak of a bird. His black hair, caught in a tail at the back of his head with a clip, matches the curly hair on his bare and heavily calloused feet. His nails are black, both on feet and hands, and are left slightly long to show that. His ears are pointed slightly, which hints at his unusual heritage. His feet and hands seem rather outsized for the rest of him, both seeming too big for the limbs they are attached to. HisHe is slightly long of leg and arm as well, both are very thin for his overall build and give him a gangly look, similar perhaps to a monkey. There is very little in the way of muscle to his arms, they seem all skin and bones, and his legs are not much better. Pline's torso appears much more padded by comparison, but over all it seems like a good gale might carry him away.
Pline has a pair of black butterflies tattooed on each arm, one at the shoulder and another just before the wrist. Though he is a venerable 52, Pline appears to be no more than 35.

Clothing
Pline’s preferred clothing echoes the loose garb of the Maeverhim, while staying very close in colour to the raucous and bright colours worn by the Rovers, with a touch or two of Halfling practicality. Pline’s shirts are dyed waterberry blue, with slightly baggy sleeves, which can be pushed up and buttoned to transform the garment into a shorter sleeved shirt. He wears a pair of similar dark brown pants, and a leather vest with pockets on the inside for pipe and pipeweed. Pline also has a hooded cloak, of brown wool suited for travelling.
Both his cloak and his hair are caught with simple wooden clasps shaped like a butterfly.

Personality
Pline mixes perhaps the best of both parent’s personalities, combining the simple, appreciative view of a Halfling with the longsighted insight of an elf. He has acquired a bent towards jokes and laughter from both sides of his ancestry, and a carefree manner, particularly when telling stories. Pline loves stories, and collects them for the purposes of telling. Among the Rovers Pline is noted for his knowledge of stories and songs, perhaps because of his age. Pline takes a dim view of trained bards, particularly those from Bardavos, and makes it his business to turn their faces red with embarrassment or anger when he can. Pline is also subject to violent mood swings, often towards anger or deep depression, and hides it under a distinctive, biting wit.

Strengths and Weaknesses

Strengths
Pline is a gifted bard, and knows many, many stories, partly because of his age, and has a way of telling them that entrances the audiences. Pline’s knowledge of stories and tales among the Black Butterfly Rovers is second to none.

Pline is also a musician and can sing a good tune, while playing his mandolin, in Styrash or in Tharian. He may never rival a formally trained and practiced musician but he can play an appreciable number of tunes quite well. Pline’s artistry comes out best on the mandolin, though he can play a decent tune on the flute as well. Pline never plays cheerful music on the flute, preferring to use his mandolin for that.

Pline speaks Styrash and Tharian equally well, enough that he can tell stories and hold a conversation with speakers of both languages and not trip over himself though the more cultural aspects, particularly of Styrash, escape him completely.

Weaknesses

Pline wears his heritage proudly, including his membership in the Black Butterfly Rovers, which has had him refused from quite a few places, including taverns and inns where he has tried to play. His heritage as a Maeverhim means that those not EarthBurned hold apart from him.

Pline is prideful to a fault, and frowns deeply on anyone attempting to usurp his position, or making a slight (perceived or otherwise.) often to the point of a challenge, often of the hasty variety. Bards are a frequent victim of this particular trait, usually receiving something along the lines of a challenge or a tongue-lashing.

With your strengths and weaknesses, would you consider highlighting in some way a word that describes each of them?  Eg Pline is a gifted bard ... something like that might make it easier for others to tell at a glance what your strengths/weaknesses are.

History
Pline’s father, a Maeverhim elf who became Earthburned by a series of unfortunate circumstances joined the Rovers, where he met with Pline’s mother, a Helmondshire Halfling and a skilled player of the flute.  The group, lacking the sort of shunning that either parent would receive in their homes lent itself almost too perfectly to the raising of their son. By the time he was old enough to begin doing more than running around and playing in the Rover’s camp, Pline had already expressed some talent for music, particularly the playing of the flute.
He was a misfit among misfits, ageing much more slowly than most of the children in the group, and more intelligent. When he was older, Pline's father explained this misfortune that being earthburned would bring him, which struck Pline deeply. How could people shun someone for simply having walked on the ground? It was a confusing concept for the young Pline, but as he grew older it simply angered him.
Though their route never took them anywhere near the vaulted home of the Maeverhim, Pline’s father was always slightly depressed when they travelled through forests. Pline’s father fell into a rut  at some point, and after a year of black depression, killed himself. Pline’s mother fell ill soon after, a slow, wasting illness that those among the Rovers learned in such things assumed was the result of heartbreak.
Pline never recovered completely from the deaths of both parents in so short a time, though he managed to hide it well enough. Old enough to fend for himself at the time, Pline had a set of black butterflies tattooed on either arm, took up playing the mandolin, and left his practice of the flute by the wayside and letting it suffer as a result. By the time he had come to grips with their deaths, Pline had grown somewhat insular, and developed a terrible habit towards verbally assaulting people who tried to talk to him. Most of the people within the group remembered his parents and their deaths, and served only to remind Pline of them, so he left.

Pline's initial run-ins with prejudice left him bitter and snappy. He was often thrown out of three taverns a night at the very least, and spent more than one night sleeping in an out of the way corner or under a hedge instead of in a warm bed. By the time he'd learned enough to avoid some of the more prejudiced corners of the world, Pline had developed a plethora of what could only be called barbs.

Maybe bring in something more about the prideful weakness in here?

Belongings
Pline’s most prized possessions are his mandolin and his mother’s flute, along with his walking stick, a stout length of well carved dark oak as tall as he is, his field glasses and his pipe.

Anyway, those are my thoughts, Pline ... though your CD is looking good overall to me.
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Pline
Wordsmith
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« Reply #14 on: April 27, 2009, 06:35:09 AM »

I think I've fixed the problems with the height (tell me if I've gone to the other extreme here.) and I've added a few details here and there in yellow
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