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Author Topic: Jenna Silverbirch/Dogodan Halfling/Wandering Storyteller  (Read 12571 times)
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Fertalimeo,Solitia
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« Reply #15 on: April 26, 2009, 09:55:51 PM »

Mayhap, that could be a habit that has built over time as a result of your occupation, so you would have a reasonable basis for that particular weakness.

But then again rambling on is litterally in your job description, so it is more likely be placed as a strength rather then a weakness.
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Jenna Silverbirch
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Hafling, Dogodan


« Reply #16 on: April 26, 2009, 10:04:00 PM »

True Nod,but it wouldn't be a strength if she went completly off-topic and started boring the audience. 
« Last Edit: April 26, 2009, 10:24:37 PM by Jenna Silverbirch » Logged

The world’s so full of wonder, it’d be a shameful waste to live without seeing as much of it as you could’ve.
Jenna Silverbirch -  Burrow by the Sea - Jenna's hobbit hole
Jenna's Creations
Jenna Silverbirch
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Hafling, Dogodan


« Reply #17 on: April 26, 2009, 10:30:26 PM »

Oh- and could simply being a halfling be a legitimate disadvantage? I've seen a few other hobbit CDs where it's used, as it means they're not taken seriously by big folk. For Jenna it'd mean she wouldn't be taken seriously as a writer, and might find it more difficult to get work as a storytelller.
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The world’s so full of wonder, it’d be a shameful waste to live without seeing as much of it as you could’ve.
Jenna Silverbirch -  Burrow by the Sea - Jenna's hobbit hole
Jenna's Creations
Fertalimeo,Solitia
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« Reply #18 on: April 26, 2009, 10:55:25 PM »

Correct, Absent mindness would effect you in a negitive way, though not in a particularly damaging.
Also while you do work as a storyteller you also have a number of occupation that I have noticed, so ultumatly you will no be effected harshly.

Even if you lack focus keep in mind that that isn't what keep someone listening to you, in order to hold someones attention you must be charasmatic and flambouent, fun to talk and listen to, with that skill you could sit there rattling on for weeks and still keep a noblemans attention.

The fact of the matter is that this weakness will effect you in any way exept for denting your purse slightly, may I suggest broadening your weakness, mayhap you couple this suggested weakness with something like being socially invisible (unable to hold ones attention), which could effect you in more ways then hurting your wallet like limiting friends, restricting deals made with innkeepers or traders and weakening your own business (as I mentioned previously) or any other activity that involves social interaction.


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Jenna Silverbirch
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Hafling, Dogodan


« Reply #19 on: April 26, 2009, 10:57:58 PM »

Very good point. Nod I'll edit accordingly.
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The world’s so full of wonder, it’d be a shameful waste to live without seeing as much of it as you could’ve.
Jenna Silverbirch -  Burrow by the Sea - Jenna's hobbit hole
Jenna's Creations
Fertalimeo,Solitia
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« Reply #20 on: April 26, 2009, 11:08:32 PM »

Most cities belong to larger folk (elves, human etc.) and many of those beings look down upon the littler races, making that disadvantage is a very serious weakness.

Though while some of the other races feel happy or indifferent around hobbits, brownies or dwarfs a large percentage are not and shun them.

In conclusion, that particular weakness seems to be a effective and easy to understand because it incorporates many of the weaknesses suggested in previous posts, I give it a thumbs up. Thumb up


{You keep posting before me because i am trying to think each possible scenaio through properly.}
« Last Edit: April 26, 2009, 11:09:52 PM by Fertalimeo & Solitia » Logged
Jenna Silverbirch
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Hafling, Dogodan


« Reply #21 on: April 27, 2009, 12:12:17 AM »

Thankyou very much for your critiques! They've been very helpful.Thanks! You've clearly thought things through very carefully. grin And now to continue with my picture of Jenna...
« Last Edit: April 27, 2009, 01:30:03 AM by Jenna Silverbirch » Logged

The world’s so full of wonder, it’d be a shameful waste to live without seeing as much of it as you could’ve.
Jenna Silverbirch -  Burrow by the Sea - Jenna's hobbit hole
Jenna's Creations
Fertalimeo,Solitia
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« Reply #22 on: April 27, 2009, 12:32:09 AM »

You are very welcome.
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Morden Peshirgolz
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« Reply #23 on: April 27, 2009, 03:21:51 AM »

Quote
Name Jenna Silverbirch

Gender Female

Age 39

Race Mostly Halfling. Her father was half human.

Tribe Dogodan

Occupation something of a bard and writer- she writes of her travels and hopes to make a book of them some day, but makes money from storytelling, singing, and selling her small wooden carvings.

Title Wandering Storyteller

Overview A tall hobbit girl who wanders the lands with her journal and quill always close at hand, Jenna hopes one day to write a book of her travels. She is friendly and unassuming, preferring to watch events go by rather than being a part of them, jotting down anything of interest to add to her great epic.

Height:

Weight:

Hair Color:

Eye Color:


Appearance  Jenna is very tall for a Dogodan hobbit at one ped and nineteen nailsbreadths, thanks to her human heritage, and fairly slim as well, though to human eyes she still appears stocky, if not as chubby as most hobbits. She has hazel-brown eyes and thick, loosely curled dark blonde hair, cut short, framing a tanned, cheerful visage. In the Shire she was often told she had a fair face, if not exactly beautiful, with large almond eyes and shapelier cheekbones than most, but as she is far from vain she doesn’t bother to take advantage of this. And of course, in the world beyond the shires no man or elf or dwarf would take an interest in a hobbit’s looks. Stretching the length of her left arm are thick bands of ugly, knotted scar tissue from where she was badly burnt as a child. Her hands are very delicate for a hobbit- her mother used to call them 'wordsmith's fingers'.


Please be sure to add the Height, Weight, etc. before your appearance section.

Quote
Soon they met in secret, for rumors spread quickly in such a small community and while Lillen was a rebellious girl she didn’t want to attract more attention then necessary. After knowing him only a week she was certain she was in love with him, and she thought, or at least hoped, that he loved her back.

Quote
Not long after she developed her love for the sea, Jenna became terrified of fire. While gathered around the bonfire at a hobbit’s eleventh-first (did you mean "eleventy-first"?) birthday, she tripped and caught her arm in the flames.

OK, not much that I have to comment on, good job by you! I'll try to get someone with more hobbit-knowledge than me to check out your history. Now, I think you are probably still a little overpowered, but looking at your CD I can see some quick fixes for that.

Quote
Physically weak- She is not particularly strong, especially for a hobbit
.

You could definitely expand here. Please explain exactly how this weakness effects her, what situations where it would hinder her, and more detail on just how much weaker she is than the average person.

Quote
Fear of fire- Because of a childhood accident that left her badly scarred she is deeply distrusting of fire. She doesn’t mind lighting or being around small campfires or hearths, but any large fire, even a controlled one, still scares her.

If she has a phobia about fire, why would only larges ones make her afraid? And what do you define as large? A hearth would be a pretty substantial fire in my mind, not being large, but not small either. Also, I would think that lighting a fire would be frightening for her, if she has a fear of other situations dealing with fire.

Quote
Her hands are very delicate for a hobbit- her mother used to call them 'wordsmith's fingers'.

This could also be mentioned as a weakness, as long as you expand it to mention how it affects her and in what situations it does so.

Quote
Weapons
She carries two knives, a simple human dagger, that is more of a very short sword by her proportions, and a smaller cooking knife that she sometimes uses as a weapon.

One last thing now, you must list each weapon your character has as its own strength. So, that would mean a section for her two knives, a section for her dagger, and maybe a section for the cooking knife. In order to avoid overpowering your character (that is quite a few knives!), you could take out the first two daggers; then simply add one section to your S&W, mainly mentioning the dagger, and including a small mention of the cooking knife.
« Last Edit: April 27, 2009, 03:25:37 AM by Morden Peshirgolz » Logged

Jenna Silverbirch
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Hafling, Dogodan


« Reply #24 on: April 27, 2009, 03:29:54 AM »

Thankyou for the tips. I've made a few changes.
I realise I wasn't being particularly clear about her weapons- she has only two knives in total, her dagger and her cooking knife.
And yes I did mean eleventy-first, but Word must have autocorrected it without me noticing angry
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The world’s so full of wonder, it’d be a shameful waste to live without seeing as much of it as you could’ve.
Jenna Silverbirch -  Burrow by the Sea - Jenna's hobbit hole
Jenna's Creations
Morden Peshirgolz
The Mystic Voice
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« Reply #25 on: April 27, 2009, 03:36:52 AM »

I realise I wasn't being particularly clear about her weapons- she has only two knives in total, her dagger and her cooking knife.

Oops, seems I misread that a bit, hehe. Roll Eyes

Thanks for explaining it without making me feel too foolish. buck
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Jenna Silverbirch
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Hafling, Dogodan


« Reply #26 on: April 27, 2009, 04:05:00 AM »

Ah, don't worry, it was pretty easy to misread. Also- I'm planning on joing the Kann Kemruhnt when my CD is approved, so look out for me there evil
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The world’s so full of wonder, it’d be a shameful waste to live without seeing as much of it as you could’ve.
Jenna Silverbirch -  Burrow by the Sea - Jenna's hobbit hole
Jenna's Creations
Morden Peshirgolz
The Mystic Voice
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Dwarf, Susilgerim Clan


« Reply #27 on: April 27, 2009, 04:08:50 AM »

Aye, I'll be alooking out fer ya there, lass. Be assured then, ya be in store for some fine dwarven fun.

Glad to hear that, I look forward to it!
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Azhira Styralias
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« Reply #28 on: April 30, 2009, 11:24:47 AM »

I see no major issues keeping this CD from a First Approval!

And a wonderful picture!  Thumb up

Nod
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"Be still and I shall calm your mind and mend your broken body."
Jenna Silverbirch
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Hafling, Dogodan


« Reply #29 on: April 30, 2009, 03:23:55 PM »

Yay! Thankyou very very much  grin
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The world’s so full of wonder, it’d be a shameful waste to live without seeing as much of it as you could’ve.
Jenna Silverbirch -  Burrow by the Sea - Jenna's hobbit hole
Jenna's Creations
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