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Author Topic: Eyimon Sorrosa/Epheronian/Knight  (Read 4290 times)
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Eyimon Sorossa
Shining Paragon
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Gender: Male
Posts: 79


Human, Erpheronian


« on: May 05, 2009, 08:02:59 AM »

Name
Eyimon Sorossa

Gender
Male

Age
34

Race
Human

Tribe
Erpheronian

Occupation
Knight-Errant

Title
Shining Paragon

Appearance

Height
1 ped 2 fores 2 palmspans 1 nailsbredth

Weight
1 Pygge 5 Hebs 4 Ods

Hair Colour
Flaxen Blonde

Eye Colour
Light Blue

Physical Appearance
Eyimon is a tall man, strong of brow and square of chin. His hair is cut short to avoid being caught in anything, and he has an average, if well-muscled build, as he is required to wear armour and wield a sword. His body has several scars on the chest and arms, acquired in various pursuits, some simply the result of accident. His face is slightly weathered and clean shaven. Eyimon's left eye is missing, though he places a glass eye in the socket. This eye is nowhere near a replica of Eyimon's own, and is little more than a placeholder with a blue centre.

Clothing
When not in armor, Eyimon dresses well, if slightly humbly. He avoids things like silks in favour of wool or cotton, always in white, and never embroidered. Eyimon’s armor is a well-made chain hauberk. He adds to this a breastplate, greaves and vambraces, all inscribed with runes in silver, prayers for peaceful ends to conflict, and polished to a gleam. Eyimon also wears a simple great helm with similar detailing. When wearing armour, Eyimon also wears the Triest, the cloak of the White Knights. As required by his oaths, Eyimon wears a veil when appearing in public, along with a simple scarf sewn with prayers. When not wearing his glass eye, (such as when travelling) Eyimon wears a simple grey eye patch with the snowflake of Grothar sewn on to it.

Personality
Eyimon oozes virtue from every facet of his personality. He is honest and humble to fault, possesses enough courage for two other men, is as loyal and respectful as a dog, and comports himself with the manner and rectitude befitting a gentleman. On the other hand, Eyimon can be incredibly naive, almost to the point of stupidity, when it comes to things like treachery and women. This is because of his somewhat sheltered monastic upbringing and he lacks experience with such things. Eyimon gets along well with children and animals. Duplicity and general human badness are causes for great diatribes with Eyimon, who is deeply saddened by such things.

Strengths and Weaknesses

Strengths
Eyimon is a prodigious swordsman, well schooled in the use of the longsword, and familiar with some of it’s smaller variants, enough so to defend himself (if inelegantly) should a longsword not be at hand.

Eyimon exemplifies a rather large collection of virtues, including honesty and has acquired a reputation for being solid and dependable (if slightly wrong-headed) in noble circles.

Eyimon is a mildly skilled diplomat, schooled by the monks of the Order of the White Knights in wordfighting and intelligent discourse.

He is literate, though not to the degree of a scholar, and can count unaided, though anything more than the simplest of maths escape him. He can write, but novels are not to be expected.

Weaknesses
Eyimon’s faith in what he terms “the fundamental good of all living beings” and his virtuous nature leaves him slightly naïve to several matters, particularly of women and perhaps of the very concept of treachery.

Eyimon is quite foolhardy believing, in spite of or perhaps  as a result of proof to the contrary, that a knight armed with virtue and a sword can outface anything, leading him to do such things as charge into what is almost certainly an ambush, or confront a traitor in spite of a known trap. His philosophy involving things like underhandedness is amounts to “right wrongs first, worry about consequences later”.

Eyimon's right eye is missing, which leaves him with a blind spot on his right hand side and occasionally causes him to stumble into objects when he misjudges a distance. Eyimon also sees his lack of an eye as his greatest failure, and often shies away from the topic in conversation.

History
Eyimon Sorossa was the second-born son of three to a noble living in Astran. Their older brother having been raised to take over the affairs of his father, left little for the younger Sorossas to do except go into trade or take up the sword. Eyimon’s younger brother Normeros showed a solid head for numbers at an early age, and took to trade like a fish would to water.

The young Eyimon was adopted by the Order of the White Knights, his parents seeing little better for the boy who showed no interest in commerce, and little head for numbers. The monks of the nearest monastery took the then 5-year-old Eyimon, and began training him to uphold the ideals and virtues of their order.

Eyimon was something of a romantic even at that age, and idolized the knights who went out into the world beyond the walls of the monastery and righted wrongs in the name of Eyasha. At the age of 15, Eyimon was inducted as an apprentice to the White Knights, and began learning diplomacy, peacekeeping and law.

Eyimon himself practiced the sword in preparation for his duties outside the walls of the monastery. Some of the monks thought the young apprentice something in the way of headstrong and misguided and held him a year, to make sure he would not do anything in haste which he might regret. Instead of the usual ten years as an apprentice, Eyimon found himself spending eleven. The day he was told he would not advance with the others into the order, Eyimon began polishing and sharpening a new sword. This sword, which had never tasted of another being’s blood became a symbol to Eyimon, and on the day he was made a full knight of the Order, he swore an oath never to draw it except to defend the weak.

Eyimon spent the better part of eight years travelling the land, ending disputes. At one point, he found himself called to settle the matter of a dispute over land between two minor nobles in Manthria. The one noble, claimed a section of forest that the other held was his. No records could be found of either noble having ever held any of the forest. During these negotiations, Eyimon was caught unaware and stabbed in the eye by the wife of one of the feuding noble. Her husband had originally tried to bribe the knight and the wife felt that things were not proceeding as they should have. Eyimon spent half a year recuperating after this incident, during which he was forced to become accustomed to missing vision.
Weapons
Eyimon carries a well honed bastard sword, with a pair of quillons a palmspan up the blade, and a well wrapped hilt. The sword itself lacks decoration, being little more than a functional way to defend its owner or another.

Belongings
Eyimon wears a round silver amulet depicting a dove and a banded ricau circling a six pointed snowflake, an emblem of his order, as well as a few changes of clothing, flint and tinder and other traveling gear in a well made pack.
« Last Edit: June 11, 2009, 11:03:02 AM by Kalína Mërénwèn » Logged

For ten years I have been polishing this sword;
Its frosty edge has never been put to the test.
Now I am holding it and showing it to you, sir:
Is there anyone suffering from injustice?
fionn
Prosaic Waif
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Posts: 321


Mullog


« Reply #1 on: May 07, 2009, 03:39:35 AM »

Welcome, Eyimon, nice to met you. It doesn't appear that there are any big problems with this, but i'll give it a proper check to see what I can find.
suggestions/ inane murmurings in yellow, corrections in pink.
Name: Eyimon Sorossa

Gender: Male

Age: 34

Race: Human

Tribe: Erpheronian

Occupation: Knight-Errant

Title: Shining Paragon

Appearance
Height:
1 ped 2 fores 2 palmspans 1 nailsbredth

Hair Colour: Blonde there are lots of different kinds of blonde. Do you want to be more specific?

Eye Colour: Blue same as above. it changes the appearance of a character dramatically if you add more detail to these two details, as they're what people read first, and what they use as a basis around which they can build a clearer image of him.

Physical Appearance
Eyimon is a tall man, strong of brow and square of chin. His hair is cut short to avoid being caught in anything, and he has an average, if well-muscled build, as required to wear armour and wield a sword. His body has several scars on the chest and arms, acquired in various pursuits, some simply the result of accident. His face is slightly weathered and clean shaven. We try to stick to european spelling, so armor is armour. that's a really nitpicky point, though, don't stress over it.

Clothing
When not in armor, Eyimon dresses well, if slightly humbly. He avoids things like silks in favour of wool or cotton, always in white, and never embroidered. Eyimon’s armor is a well-made chain hauberk. He adds to this a breastplate, greaves and vambraces, all inscribed with runes in silver, and polished to a gleam. What do the runes say? Not that it needs a full transcription, but a note giving the basic gist of wether they're prayers or battlecries or what might be useful. Eyimon wears a simple great helm with similar detailing. When wearing armour Eyimon also wear the Triest, the cloak of the White Knights. As required by his oaths, Eyimon wears a veil when appearing in public, along with a simple scarf sewn with prayers.

Personality
Eyimon oozes virtue from every facet of his personality. that's a briliant sentence! He is honest and humble to fault, possesses enough courage for two other men, as loyal and respectful as a dog, and comports himself with the manner and rectitude befitting a gentleman. I seriuosly don't think I've ever seen a character who doesn't have some major personality fault. I'm intrigued to see how you intend to RP this.

Strengths and Weaknesses

Strengths

Eyimon is a prodigious swordsman, well schooled in the use of the longsword, and familiar with some of its smaller variants, enough so to defend himself (if inelegantly) should a longsword not be at hand.

Eyimon exemplifies a rather large collection of virtues, including honesty and has acquired a reputation for being solid and dependable (if slightly wrong-headed)tell us more! in noble circles.

Eyimon is a mildly skilled diplomat, schooled by the monks of the Order of the White Knights in wordfighting and intelligent discourse. would that mean he has a "classical education"? because that could be a good strength.

Weaknesses
Eyimon’s faith in what he terms “the fundamental good of all living beings” and his virtuous nature leaves him slightly naïve to several matters, particularly of women and perhaps of the very concept of treachery. You might want to stick an extra bit about this in your personality section, to round it a little.

Eyimon is quite foolhardy >comma< believing, in spite of or perhaps  as a result of proof to the contrary, that a knight armed with virtue and a sword can outface anything, leading him to do such things as charge into what is almost certainly an ambush, or confront a traitor in spite of a known trap. His philosophy involving things like underhandedness is amounts to “right wrongs first, worry about consequences later”. aww. heart

an extra couple of strengths and weaknesses would be nice. usually it's three or four of each for a well rounded character.

History
Eyimon Sorossa was the second-born son of three to a noble living in Astran. Their older brother having been raised to take over the affairs of his father, there was little for the younger Sorossas to do except go into trade or take up the sword. Eyimon’s younger brother Normeros showed a solid head for numbers at an early age, and took to trade like a fish would to water. The young Eyimon was adopted by the Order of the White Knights, his parents seeing little better for the boy, who showed no interest in commerce, and little head for numbers. The monks of the nearest monastery took the then 5-year-old Eyimon, and began training him to uphold the ideals and virtues of their order. Eyimon was something of a romantic even at that age, and idolized the knights who went out into the world beyond the walls of the monastery and righted wrongs in the name of Eyasha. At the age of 15, Eyimon was inducted as an apprentice to the White Knights, and began learning diplomacy, peacekeeping and law. Eyimon himself practiced the sword in preparation for his duties outside the walls of the monastery. Some of the monks thought the young apprentice something in the way of, that phrasing confused me a bit. coud you neaten it slightly? headstrong and misguided and held him a year, to make sure he would not do anything in haste which he might regret. Instead of the usual ten years as an apprentice, Eyimon found himself spending eleven. The day he was told he would not advance with the others into the order, Eyimon began polishing and sharpening a new sword. This sword, which had never tasted of another being’s blood became a symbol to Eyimon, and on the day he was made a full knight of the Order, he swore an oath never to draw it except to defend the weak.

Weapons
Eyimon carries a well honed bastard sword, with a pair of quillons perhaps a palmspan up the blade, and a well wrapped hilt. The sword itself lacks decoration, being little more than a functional way to defend its owner or another. He has never drawn blood with it.

Belongings
Eyimon wears a round silver amulet depicting a dove and a banded ricau circling a six pointed snowflake, an emblem of his order.

Familiars
Eyimon rides a brown destrier named Honour. While not a particularly young horse, Honour is a trained warhorse, and occasionally echoes his master’s displeasure. He can be rather mean-spirited at times, and has been referred to as “that demon disguised as a horse” though never within earshot of his master. what breed is it?

A very well written CD that depicts a really interesting character. Well done, and good luck. those few comments were really very small, and it was a pleasure to read. nice work! Thumb up
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"If it's teeth are longer than your fingers, for the Ancestors' sake, assume it doesn't want it's belly tickled..."
Fionn's CD
Eyimon Sorossa
Shining Paragon
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Gender: Male
Posts: 79


Human, Erpheronian


« Reply #2 on: May 07, 2009, 04:41:01 AM »

edits in RED
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For ten years I have been polishing this sword;
Its frosty edge has never been put to the test.
Now I am holding it and showing it to you, sir:
Is there anyone suffering from injustice?
Nox Echiiscuan
Macabre Marionette
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Posts: 2229

Human, Kasumarii


« Reply #3 on: May 07, 2009, 12:22:43 PM »

Comments made fierce in Fuchsia.
Corrections made lovely in Lime.
Quote
Name
Eyimon Sorossa

Gender
Male

Age
34

Race
Human

Tribe
Erpheronian

Occupation
Knight-Errant

Title
Shining Paragon

Appearance
Height
1 ped 2 fores 2 palmspans 1 nailsbredth

Hair Colour
Flaxen Blonde

Eye Colour
Light Blue

Physical Appearance
Eyimon is a tall man, strong of brow and square of chin. His hair is cut short to avoid being caught in anything, and he has an average, if well-muscled build, as required to wear armour and wield a sword. His body has several scars on the chest and arms, acquired in various pursuits, some simply the result of accident. His face is slightly weathered and clean shaven. Okay. So, you have a good amount of detail here. But, you know, I'm a whore for elaboration. There's still more that you can tack on here, I'm sure. Whether or not you decide to is up to you.

Clothing
When not in armor, Eyimon dresses well, if slightly humbly. He avoids things like silks in favour of wool or cotton, always in white, and never embroidered. Eyimon’s armor is a well-made chain hauberk. He adds to this a breastplate, greaves and vambraces, all inscribed with runes in silver, prayers for peaceful ends to conflict, and polished to a gleam. Eyimon wears a simple great helm with similar detailing. When wearing armour Eyimon also wears the Triest, the cloak of the White Knights. As required by his oaths, Eyimon wears a veil when appearing in public, along with a simple scarf sewn with prayers.

Personality
Eyimon oozes virtue from every facet of his personality. He is honest and humble to fault, possesses enough courage for two other men, as loyal and respectful as a dog, and comports himself with the manner and rectitude befitting a gentleman. On the other hand, Eyimon can be incredibly naive, almost to the point of stupidity, when it comes to things like treachery and women, owing to his somewhat sheltered monastic upbringing.This is good but, personally, I'd prefer it if you'd expand on this a bit, maybe add in a few sentences and another paragraph? How is he incredibly naive when it comes to things like treachery and women? In what way? Give examples. How does he interact with children? Other men? Women? Animals? Does he get sad? You know, stuff like that.

Strengths and Weaknesses

Strengths
Eyimon is a prodigious swordsman, well schooled in the use of the longsword, and familiar with some of it’s smaller variants, enough so to defend himself (if inelegantly) should a longsword not be at hand.

Eyimon exemplifies a rather large collection of virtues, including honesty and has acquired a reputation for being solid and dependable (if slightly wrong-headed) in noble circles.
(space)
Eyimon is a mildly skilled diplomat, schooled by the monks of the Order of the White Knights in wordfighting... Wordfighting? Or did you mean "sword fighting"? :P and intelligent discourse. Can he read? Write? Count? Literary and mathematics skills are considered strengths and should be listed separately. And how well can he ride a horse? Shouldn't this be considered a strength as well?

Weaknesses
Eyimon’s faith in what he terms “the fundamental good of all living beings” and his virtuous nature leaves him slightly naïve to several matters, particularly of women and perhaps of the very concept of treachery.

Eyimon is quite foolhardy believing, in spite of or perhaps  as a result of proof to the contrary, that a knight armed with virtue and a sword can outface anything, leading him to do such things as charge into what is almost certainly an ambush, or confront a traitor in spite of a known trap. His philosophy involving things like underhandedness is amounts to “right wrongs first, worry about consequences later”. This should be mentioned in your personality section as well since it is a personality quirk.

History
Hooooow about we break this up into paragraphs, hm? That would be very nice, instead of having one big block of text here. It'd make it much nicer looking and easier to read.
Eyimon Sorossa was the second-born son of three to a noble living in Astran. Their older brother having been raised to take over the affairs of his father, there was little for the younger Sorossas to do except go into trade or take up the sword. Eyimon’s younger brother Normeros showed a solid head for numbers at an early age, and took to trade like a fish would to water.
(space?)
The young Eyimon was adopted by the Order of the White Knights, his parents seeing little better for the boy, who showed no interest in commerce, and little head for numbers."and little head for numbers"? What? Maybe I'm reading it wrong, maybe I'm not. But, right now, this sentence doesn't really make complete sense to me. The monks of the nearest monastery took the then 5-year-old Eyimon, and began training him to uphold the ideals and virtues of their order. Eyimon was something of a romantic even at that age, and idolized the knights who went out into the world beyond the walls of the monastery and righted wrongs in the name of Eyasha.
(space?)
At the age of 15, Eyimon was inducted as an apprentice to the White Knights, and began learning diplomacy, peacekeeping and law. Eyimon himself practiced the sword in preparation for his duties outside the walls of the monastery. Some of the monks thought the young apprentice something in the way of headstrong and misguided and held him a year, to make sure he would not do anything in haste which he might regret. Instead of the usual ten years as an apprentice, Eyimon found himself spending eleven.
(space?)
The day he was told he would not advance with the others into the order, Eyimon began polishing and sharpening a new sword. This sword, which had never tasted of another being’s blood became a symbol to Eyimon, and on the day he was made a full knight of the Order, he swore an oath never to draw it except to defend the weak.

Weapons
Eyimon carries a well honed bastard sword, with a pair of quillons a palmspan up the blade, and a well wrapped hilt. The sword itself lacks decoration, being little more than a functional way to defend its owner or another. He has never drawn blood with it. If he's never drawn blood with it, then how does he go about protecting himself with it? I imagine that there would be some people that simply would not stop and putting them down really is the only way to have them stop.

Belongings
Eyimon wears a round silver amulet depicting a dove and a banded ricau circling a six pointed snowflake, an emblem of his order. He doesn't carry anything else with him? No water canteen? No compass? No bag with like... clothes and food rations and of the such in it? No money pouch? Just an amulet?

Familiars
Eyimon rides a brown destrier named Honour. While not a particularly young horse, Honour is a trained warhorse, and occasionally echoes his master’s displeasure. He can be rather mean-spirited at times, and has been referred to as “that demon disguised as a horse” though never within earshot of his master.
I feel like there's still more detail that you can add in here and would very much appreciate it if you did add more substance here.
Make the changes and I'm sure someone else will go right ahead and give you a looksee. If not someone else, then eventually me.

Bobspeed
heart ~ Nox ~ heart
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Azhira Styralias
Shamaness
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Half-elf, Aellenrhim/ Erpheronian


« Reply #4 on: May 07, 2009, 09:34:27 PM »

Changing to Pencil work in progress until Nox's comments/suggestions are implemented.

Otherwise, looks good here! Some good comments, Noxxie.  heart
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"Be still and I shall calm your mind and mend your broken body."
Eyimon Sorossa
Shining Paragon
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Gender: Male
Posts: 79


Human, Erpheronian


« Reply #5 on: May 08, 2009, 04:30:17 AM »

I was unaware that we had to write everything that we were carrying (rations, clothing etc.) in the Belongings section. It says "stuff other people wouldn't have" in the character description outline. Other people would carry food and wear clothing, right?

Other than that, I've made edits in yellow more to come as soon as I can figure out what to do about them.
Logged

For ten years I have been polishing this sword;
Its frosty edge has never been put to the test.
Now I am holding it and showing it to you, sir:
Is there anyone suffering from injustice?
Deklitch Hardin
Truth Seeker
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Posts: 1536


Human, Erpheronian


« Reply #6 on: May 08, 2009, 04:49:38 AM »

Hi Eyimon

I believe Nox was talking about changes of clothing as opposed to the clothes that Eyimon was wearing. Under clothing, you have already described the clothes Eyimon wears. In these cases, I personally think it is better to give too much information than not enough.
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Seeking the truth, whatever the cost! - Deklitch Hardin, Elf Friend
Eyimon Sorossa
Shining Paragon
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Gender: Male
Posts: 79


Human, Erpheronian


« Reply #7 on: May 25, 2009, 03:54:04 AM »

I return! I've tried to fix up some of what's there, gotten rid of the horse (apparently I can't write familiars) and made a slight modification to the belongings section to reflect earlier comments in orange
Logged

For ten years I have been polishing this sword;
Its frosty edge has never been put to the test.
Now I am holding it and showing it to you, sir:
Is there anyone suffering from injustice?
Kalína Dalá'isyrás
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High Elf, Kaýrrhem


« Reply #8 on: June 02, 2009, 08:26:38 AM »

Real quick, before any more "in-depth" comments from me...

I would like to see another good solid weakness, as you have a good amount of logical strengths.
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Insanity is only a perception made by those who have yet to attain its greatness. While those of us who have already stepped inside its bounds find bliss in our utter madness.
Nai'r en'Lina ar'Kaimel
Eyimon Sorossa
Shining Paragon
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Gender: Male
Posts: 79


Human, Erpheronian


« Reply #9 on: June 02, 2009, 09:44:20 AM »

I've tried to think of another one, but I'm at my wits end it seems.
Logged

For ten years I have been polishing this sword;
Its frosty edge has never been put to the test.
Now I am holding it and showing it to you, sir:
Is there anyone suffering from injustice?
Kalína Dalá'isyrás
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High Elf, Kaýrrhem


« Reply #10 on: June 02, 2009, 01:10:54 PM »

Any physical holdbacks? Nothing that would put him at a disadvantage in any particular situation?
« Last Edit: June 02, 2009, 07:53:06 PM by Kalína Mërénwèn » Logged

Insanity is only a perception made by those who have yet to attain its greatness. While those of us who have already stepped inside its bounds find bliss in our utter madness.
Nai'r en'Lina ar'Kaimel
Morden Peshirgolz
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Dwarf, Susilgerim Clan


« Reply #11 on: June 07, 2009, 03:44:08 AM »

While you continue brainstorming for another weakness, Eyimon, I will give you these comments in this color.

Name
Eyimon Sorossa

Gender
Male

Age
34 (I have a question about this age. Your history says he began apprenticeship at 15 and continued in that role for 11 years. That would put him at 26. What has he done for the last 8 years?)

Race
Human

Tribe
Erpheronian

Occupation
Knight-Errant

Title
Shining Paragon

Appearance
Height
1 ped 2 fores 2 palmspans 1 nailsbredth

Weight
Please list this category as well


Hair Colour
Flaxen Blonde

Eye Colour
Light Blue

Physical Appearance
Eyimon is a tall man (Please also restate your height in this section), strong of brow and square of chin. His hair is cut short to avoid being caught in anything, and he has an average, if well-muscled build (Restate weight as well), as required to wear armour and wield a sword. His body has several scars on the chest and arms, acquired in various pursuits, some simply the result of accident. His face is slightly weathered and clean shaven.

This is a pretty good appearance section, though I would like to see a little more detail. Some more information about what his eyes look like, any specific quirks of his face, the size/build of his shoulders, arms, and legs; and anything else that would help to give a more complete picture of your character.

Clothing
When not in armor, Eyimon dresses well, if slightly humbly. He avoids things like silks in favour of wool or cotton, always in white, and never embroidered. Eyimon’s armor is a well-made chain hauberk. He adds to this a breastplate, greaves and vambraces, all inscribed with runes in silver, prayers for peaceful ends to conflict, and polished to a gleam. Eyimon wears a simple great helm with similar detailing. When wearing armour Eyimon also wears the Triest, the cloak of the White Knights. As required by his oaths, Eyimon wears a veil when appearing in public, along with a simple scarf sewn with prayers.

Personality
Eyimon oozes virtue from every facet of his personality. He is honest and humble to fault, possesses enough courage for two other men, as loyal and respectful as a dog, and comports himself with the manner and rectitude befitting a gentleman. On the other hand, Eyimon can be incredibly naive, almost to the point of stupidity, when it comes to things like treachery and women because of his somewhat sheltered monastic upbringing he lacks experience with such things. Eyimon gets along well with children and animals. Duplicity and general human badness are causes for great diatribes with Eyimon, who is deeply saddened by such things.

It would be good to know how Eyimon reacts/interacts with other races of Caelereth, not just human. He must have met elves and other races in the Order, right?

Strengths and Weaknesses

Strengths
Eyimon is a prodigious swordsman, well schooled in the use of the longsword, and familiar with some of it’s smaller variants, enough so to defend himself (if inelegantly) should a longsword not be at hand.

Eyimon exemplifies a rather large collection of virtues, including honesty and has acquired a reputation for being solid and dependable (if slightly wrong-headed) in noble circles.

Eyimon is a mildly skilled diplomat, schooled by the monks of the Order of the White Knights in wordfighting and intelligent discourse.

He is literate, though not to the degree of a scholar, and can count unaided, though anything more than the simplest of maths escape him. He can write, but novels are not to be expected.

Weaknesses
Eyimon’s faith in what he terms “the fundamental good of all living beings” and his virtuous nature leaves him slightly naïve to several matters, particularly of women and perhaps of the very concept of treachery.

Eyimon is quite foolhardy believing, in spite of or perhaps  as a result of proof to the contrary, that a knight armed with virtue and a sword can outface anything, leading him to do such things as charge into what is almost certainly an ambush, or confront a traitor in spite of a known trap. His philosophy involving things like underhandedness is amounts to “right wrongs first, worry about consequences later”.

You are overpowered, as Kalina said. Ideas for an extra weakness could be a lingering injury caused by his naivete or foolhardiness. He could have a crippling fear of something like snakes or bunnies ( Pet ), caused by some childhood traumatic event. A birth defect could work, perhaps a loss of movement in his wrist, limiting his ability to fight off enemies coming from a certain side? There are lots of possibilities.

History
Eyimon Sorossa was the second-born son of three to a noble living in Astran. Their older brother having been raised to take over the affairs of his father, there was little for the younger Sorossas to do except go into trade or take up the sword. Eyimon’s younger brother Normeros showed a solid head for numbers at an early age, and took to trade like a fish would to water.

The young Eyimon was adopted by the Order of the White Knights, his parents seeing little better for the boy, who showed no interest in commerce, and little head for numbers. The monks of the nearest monastery took the then 5-year-old Eyimon, and began training him to uphold the ideals and virtues of their order.

Eyimon was something of a romantic even at that age, and idolized the knights who went out into the world beyond the walls of the monastery and righted wrongs in the name of Eyasha. At the age of 15, Eyimon was inducted as an apprentice to the White Knights, and began learning diplomacy, peacekeeping and law.

Eyimon himself practiced the sword in preparation for his duties outside the walls of the monastery. Some of the monks thought the young apprentice something in the way of headstrong and misguided and held him a year, to make sure he would not do anything in haste which he might regret. Instead of the usual ten years as an apprentice, Eyimon found himself spending eleven. The day he was told he would not advance with the others into the order, Eyimon began polishing and sharpening a new sword. This sword, which had never tasted of another being’s blood became a symbol to Eyimon, and on the day he was made a full knight of the Order, he swore an oath never to draw it except to defend the weak.

This is a short history, so feel free to add to it if you are so inclined. I see no problems with it, except for the unaccounted for eight years I mentioned earlier.

Weapons
Eyimon carries a well honed bastard sword, with a pair of quillons a palmspan up the blade, and a well wrapped hilt. The sword itself lacks decoration, being little more than a functional way to defend its owner or another. He has never drawn blood with it (You need to explain how he managed not to do this in the eight years from his leaving the monastery to the present).

Belongings
Eyimon wears a round silver amulet depicting a dove and a banded ricau circling a six pointed snowflake, an emblem of his order, as well as a few changes of clothing, flint and tinder and other traveling gear in a well made pack.


Very nice CD, I enjoyed reading it, and I wish you luck in getting an approval soon. :)
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Eyimon Sorossa
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« Reply #12 on: June 07, 2009, 04:23:07 AM »

Strictly speaking, because of the restrictions of the order, it would have been six years (White Knights spend one quarter of every year in a monastery as part of their religion)
I was either going to maim one arm or blind an eye.
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For ten years I have been polishing this sword;
Its frosty edge has never been put to the test.
Now I am holding it and showing it to you, sir:
Is there anyone suffering from injustice?
Eyimon Sorossa
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« Reply #13 on: June 08, 2009, 06:41:33 AM »

*insert evil laughter here*
It's alive, it's ALIVE! It's missing an eye!

But seriously, changes in Green
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For ten years I have been polishing this sword;
Its frosty edge has never been put to the test.
Now I am holding it and showing it to you, sir:
Is there anyone suffering from injustice?
Kalína Dalá'isyrás
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Posts: 12803


High Elf, Kaýrrhem


« Reply #14 on: June 09, 2009, 10:21:40 AM »

Hello Eyimon! I know you are awaiting comments, yet my time has run short for today with work early in the morning. This is my IOU for tomorrow afternoon. Feel free to poke me with PMs if I "forget".

:)
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Insanity is only a perception made by those who have yet to attain its greatness. While those of us who have already stepped inside its bounds find bliss in our utter madness.
Nai'r en'Lina ar'Kaimel
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