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Author Topic: Phlegah Sphirn / Volkek-Oshra / Apprentice Metal Crafter  (Read 9326 times)
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Phlegah Sphirn
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« Reply #15 on: January 18, 2010, 06:18:09 AM »

Thanks Kalina and Sylvia ... I've attended to that mistake.

Phlegah
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Sylvia Palinor
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« Reply #16 on: January 18, 2010, 06:31:59 AM »

Oops, yeah, you're right Kali.  buck
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« Reply #17 on: January 18, 2010, 11:31:49 AM »

Very nice! It's good to see an RP character involved in the Everbright Cult. Phlegah fits quite well in the cult's studies, being a fire mage, Volkek-Oshra, and female.

Quote
This results in a greater understanding, but less variety, of spells of which she is aware and she uses this perfectionism as a way of honouring Anilya the Everbright, of whose cult she is a member.

I would maybe arrange this sentence differently. "This results in a greater understanding, but a lesser variety of spells, that she is able to cast. Phlegah's perfectionist outlook on life is her way of honouring her patron, Anilya the Everbright. The cult surrounding Anilya's legend is said to teach that Anilya expects unwavering faith and willpower from her followers."

I know its hard to create the first CD with a background in something so new as the Everbright cult. You're doing a fine job here though!  Thumb up

Quote
Inlaid into this amulet is a red gemstone. As a member of the Everbright Cult, Phlegah inlaid the gem prior to crafting the amulet.

Is this gem a ruby? A true cult member would no doubt have a ruby gemstone to represent their reverence for Anilya. If not a ruby, then perhaps a garnet or red spinel. Either way, a red gem is required at a minimum. The eventual cult entry I write will probably have more to say on this.

Quote
Phlegah is a member of the Everbright Cult, which honours Anilya the Everbright as the Patron of Magic. She regularly honours Anilya and believes the red gemstone she inlaid within her amulet enables her to focus her will when she performs her magic.

How does Phlegah honor Anilya? The cult believes that prayers to Anilya and hard practice in magic grants her blessings. Even commoners have some to see Anilya as a source of strengths, warmth and courage. Magi who revere Anilya see her as more of a source and inspiration in their magic. Invoking Anilya when casting fire magic is said to grant the caster an extra boost of power. Anilya is revered more for her raw power, courage and strength than for her wisdom. So if Phlegah ever wants to become a powerful mage someday, she would do well to follow Anilya's example. Be brave, practice hard, fire magic is a powerful gift to be used to vanquish foes. The Fire Daughters are an example of Anilya's elite mortal guardians and perhaps Phlegah can be one someday.

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Phlegah Sphirn
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« Reply #18 on: January 18, 2010, 01:07:42 PM »

Thanks Azhira, as soon as I read the entry on Anilya the Everbright, I realised I wanted Phlegah to be part of the cult.

Thanks for the suggestions, I've included all of them in the modified CD. I've taken your recommended sentences in their entirity.

Yes, I meant for the gemstone to be a ruby. :) The name was escaping my mind when I was making the changes, and I've now changed all of the instances of gemstone or red gem or red gemstone or gem to ruby throughout the entry. Should I perhaps include a bit in her history about how she found the ruby? I've included a bit now about how she got introduced to the Everbright Cult, but wonder if I should also include how she found the ruby.

I've also expressed in places about the way she honours Anilya the Everbright. They are spread throughout the CD. I wonder whether I should include a seperate section in her CD just about her practices in this regard.

I hope that my changes adequately address the points you raised and suggestions you made. The changes I made in response to your recommendations are in yellow.

Thanks again Azhira,

Phlegah
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Azhira Styralias
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« Reply #19 on: January 19, 2010, 02:49:59 AM »

It is not required to have a separate Beliefs section. Personally, I tend to have one for some of my CDs where their belief influences their life in a large way. I do think that a separate section for you to summarize Phleglah's beliefs would be helpful in this case. Some of it being spread around seems repetitive to me.
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Phlegah Sphirn
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« Reply #20 on: January 21, 2010, 09:41:35 PM »

Thank you for your advice, Azhira! heart

I have done as you suggested and combined it into a section on beliefs. I also read up on Kahnucktscha and put that in as well.

How does that read to you now?

As I've added that extra material on the Kahnucktscha, will I need both of the second round of reapprovals? I didn't change anything other than the material on Beliefs.
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Fearn Meadowdyn
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« Reply #21 on: January 25, 2010, 04:48:26 AM »

Just a roundabout inquiry for you Phlegah, one I hope helps you to define this character a bit more. You mention in the magic section that the amulet grants you more inner power (Will I am assuming, as will is what grants a mage strength of incantations.). Would this be akin to a focus object, something like a staff or wand would be for some casters? If so, what would the loss of it do for her castings? If its loss would hamper her in some way ... this would make a nice counter balance for the bonus gained from possession of it.

Also, since it empowers her, would it not be listed as a strength? (Defining the affect of its loss could also be used in the description of such a strength to lesson the overall impact on the S&W section. IMHO)

Just my two sans, hope this helps. :)
« Last Edit: January 25, 2010, 04:49:12 AM by Fearn Meadowdyn » Logged

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Phlegah Sphirn
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« Reply #22 on: January 30, 2010, 01:58:25 PM »

I'm sorry F'earn, but I'm not really understanding what you mean by a 'focus object'.

Maybe if I explain what my idea behind this is. It is an amulet she made and she put a ruby in it. It isn't actually magical or anything like that. She believes that this amulet helps her in her magic and makes it stronger. It is a belief, and she has never tried using her magic without wearing it. If she was to lose it, she'd just make herself another one ... using her skils as a metal crafter ... and until she made a new one, she wouldn't use her magic.

Would you mind explaining again what you mean?
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Azhira Styralias
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« Reply #23 on: January 31, 2010, 12:42:56 PM »

Phlegah,

What many magi have are called objects of focus for their magic. In other words, magic is mostly dictated by willpower and a mage simply focuses on something to make a spell. What a "physical focus" does is help a mage cast a spell by simply being something they can look at.

For example, I have a few mage CDs that use staves. The staff itself is not magical, or enchanted in any way. But what my fire mage Amahad does when creating fireballs is focus on the tip of his staff and gather fire ounia around it and ignite it and release it. He uses the tip of his staff as a focus to create the fireball giving the sense that the staff casts the fireball. Of course, he could focus a fireball without the staff, but the staff is a sort of crutch that aids him and gives his eyes something to perceive while casting. Without the staff, he could still make a fireball, but he wouldn't be as effective because he relies on his staff. He believes the staff aids his abilities, but it is more a mental thing.

Other magi use different focuses. Azhira uses smooth river stones, and Shai uses a rod. In Phlegah's case, your amulet is a focus in that it gives you a sense of security to cast your spells. Without it, would you consider yourself "weaker" or more less capable? Or does it matter if you have it or not?
« Last Edit: January 31, 2010, 01:00:31 PM by Azhira Styralias » Logged

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Phlegah Sphirn
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« Reply #24 on: January 31, 2010, 01:09:53 PM »

As I said in the previous post, she has never tried using her magic without wearing the amulet that she made. The amulet she made out of gold, without any magic involved in the making of it. If it was taken away from her, she wouldn't try to cast spells until she made another one. And as she is a metal crafter first and foremost, making a new amulet wouldn't be a problem for her.

It is worn around her neck. She therefore wouldn't be able to look at it while she is casting her magic. From what you were saying, Azhira, I gather that being able to look at it is a key part of the process. Is that correct? If so, how can it be considered a physical focus for her.

Actually, her cat helps her calm herself when she is casting her spells. And she looks at and feels the cat, so I suppose the cat would be even more of a focus for her than the amulet.
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Twn Arerwn
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« Reply #25 on: January 31, 2010, 11:45:26 PM »

A focal object does not necessarily have to be observed during casting, the mere possession of it grants the mage a sense of safety or better said reliability in themselves. The aspects of dependency can vary immensely. Example though rare: A blind mage could use a staff or wand as a focal object. It is the presence that is a fortification for the will.

I'll quote you here to make a further point:
Quote
As I said in the previous post, she has never tried using her magic without wearing the amulet that she made.
You as the writer know if the lack of possession would influence her strength of will. As you mention in the CD, it grants her spells greater potency when cast, we as the readers can only assume that without it, something adverse would transpire. Staves, wands and such are merely common examples of focal objects and the concept could span a multitude of things, as you clearly exhibit in this CD.

Commonly human magi are the most dependent on focal objects, they are considered rare amongst elves. Orcs have never really been discussed in-depth, so there is not much precedence to weigh the numerical dependency this race shows.

Real worldly example of this concept: Father gives his son a baseball glove, tells him a random story on how 'that' glove has done exceptional things. Son then thinks, as long as he has 'that' glove he can do anything. In haste one day the family forgets the glove while in a rush to get to a tournament. The little boy loses confidence in his game because 'that' glove isn't on his hand. Does the lack of the glove change the child's skills? We as rational people know it doesn't. Yet the boys confidence is shaken and can throw his game off.

So in a parody of the above example: If Phlegah showed up for the game (Any instance she was casting a spell.) without her glove (Amulet). Would she be a bit off her game and fail (Spell Fizzle, or not have the strength of will to successfully cast.) more-so than she would if she had the glove (Amulet)?
« Last Edit: February 01, 2010, 12:35:02 AM by Twn Arerwn » Logged

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Phlegah Sphirn
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« Reply #26 on: February 01, 2010, 04:45:48 AM »

So what exactly are you all looking for?

I really don't know how else I can explain it.

She wouldn't attempt to cast magic without the amulet.

If I remove all mention of the amulet, would that satisfy you? Honestly, it wasn't meant to be this complicated or difficult.
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Kalna Dal'isyrs
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« Reply #27 on: February 01, 2010, 04:49:10 AM »

Remember what I explained to you, Phlegah? Just go off of that and you should be fine.
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« Reply #28 on: February 01, 2010, 04:51:32 AM »

It really isn't complex Phlegh, in truth it was but a minor point. heart

The amulet is a wonderful addition and I am totally against you doing away with it.

What I personally would like to see is simply this, as you have already defined both aspects. The amulet listed as a strength, since it empowers her spells to be more effective. And since you mention that not owning it would limit her magic immensely, to the point of not being capable of casting. A very serious weakness for a mage right there.
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Kalna Dal'isyrs
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« Reply #29 on: February 01, 2010, 04:56:15 AM »

Quote
since it empowers her spells to be more effective.

I don't think it being worded that way makes the most sense. It makes it sound as if the amulet has powers, which is what started this whole misunderstanding in the first place. Especially since she won't cast magic without it, making them "more effective" isn't the point. Its casting at all.

At this point, it is a great weakness, a personal dependence on the amulet for casting. It isn't much of a strength when it has no abilities, but is simply a cheap focal object. Like Azhira said, it is like her stones or Shai's rod, they don't empower the spells but empower the caster in believing. Without it, many feel inadequate and unable.
« Last Edit: February 01, 2010, 04:59:39 AM by Kalna Mrnwn Dal'isyrs » Logged

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