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Author Topic: Sylvia Palinor/Half-elf Tethinrhim and Avennorian/Bounty Hunter  (Read 18906 times)
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Sylvia Palinor
Masked Huntress
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Gender: Male
Posts: 563


Half-elf-Tethinrhim/Avennorian


« on: July 11, 2009, 10:56:11 PM »

Name: Sylvia Palinor

Soul name: Car'reoll fa Efer

Age: 55 (knowledge 50 years and appearance 35 years.)

Gender: Female

Race: Half-elf

Tribes: Elf Tethinrhim; Human Avennorian

Overview: A Half-elf who is considered outsider to most, terror to many, and friend to but a few. Sylvia has sharp features and flowing nor'sidian hair with a single cy'hallowian snow lock in the front on her right side. She has a strong, lithe build, and is fairly skilled with two weapons: the double kilij, and cooran'loh. She dresses in an array of solid nor'sidian clothing and wears a white crescent moon pendant, tied to string around her neck, made by her father. She has what people call a truly short fuse and the fact that she never knew her father haunts her from day to day.

Occupation: Bounty Hunter

Title: Masked Huntress

Height: 1 Ped, 2 Fores, and 1 Nailsbreadth

Weight: 1 Pygge, 4 Ods, and 3 Mut

Eye Color: Hazel

Hair Color: Nor'sidian with one cy'hallowian snow lock in the front.

Appearance: Sylvia has skin the color of realm beige, moderately pointed ears, shining white teeth, half-full lips the color of aeruillin red, a sharp nose, and somewhat slanted eyes. Her complexion is almost flawless, except for a small scar right above her eye. She has an exceedingly graceful and toned build, and is moderately curvy and fairly lithe. She has a black crescent-shaped birthmark on her forehead and a calculating look in her eyes. Her lips are usually set in a hard, firm line and she rarely laughs or smiles unless she is among her friends. Her hair is always worn down and her bangs are always in her face, giving an exotic effect to her intense hazel eyes.

Dress: She wears a long-sleeved tunic, long leggings, and boots that reach half-way up her calves, all the color of nor'sidian. The boots are made from fine leather and are difficult to wear down, are comfortable, and good for travel. Her leggings and tunic are made from cotton, and fit not too loosely or tightly so as not to affect her in combat, and are light. The pattern of a cy'hallowian snow-colored pentagram inside of a congruently colored circle is sewn into the right shoulder of her tunic. Inside of the pentagram, is the elvish writing of her soul name, sewn in the color of Aeruillin red.

Personality: When Sylvia is around friends and trusted individuals, she will let her guard down to some degree. She will always carry her weapons with her, but she is noticeably less jumpy. She also shows a lapse in her guard by opening up. She is a warm, playful, sarcastic person by nature. However in the world of bounty hunters, she is forced to wear a mask of cold confidence, display her fiery temper that is reserved only for her enemies, and is quite paronoid. She has learned how to appear dark and foreboding. When Sylvia is "on the job", she must harden her heart and convince herself that she is truly doing what is right so she may get the job done. On a normal day, when Sylvia is taking a break from her job, she is training, showing her ambition to constantly improve herself. In practicallity, Sylvia knows that she can seldom embrace her nature of being kind, but she finds solace in the fact that she may express herself through her righteous fury, and turn kindness into what she convinces herself is good. However, she longs to be herself. She is highly ambitious and once she's set a path for herself, she'll stick to it, no matter what the cost.

Opinions of her work: A bounty hunter is not exactly Sylvia's job of choice, though she doesn't hate it. She has become a bounty hunter because she can find nothing else that suits her talents and pays well. She believes that all wrongdoers should be brought to justice. When hunting, she will do whatever she can to avoid killing her bounties. She knows that crimes like murder deserve death, but her own morals are against her doing the killing. She will if she must, but she prefers not to.

Opinions of religion: Sylvia was brought up to believe that all religion is rubbish, odd for one who was brought up with an elven background. The reason for this, is that, after her father's death, her mother lost faith in all of the gods. She continued to wonder why they would take her love from her, and she could not believe that the gods she had come to worship would ever do such a thing. She had great confusion over this for some time. She eventually formed the conclusion that they didn't exist. Instead of risking the fact that Sylvia would become broken in the same way, she raised neglected to raise her with religion of any kind. She has formed her own ideals that the world just simply is, some things go beyond out understanding, and one should not question these things. She does not take too kindly to anyone trying to force their religion on her and will promptly walk away, or tune them out.

Opinions of music: Sylvia enjoys stopping at numerous taverns to listen to music. Sylvia particularly enjoys to listen to songs of a soft flowing nature. She feels they describe life to her. Life continues to flow on and on, awing many with its numerous changes and beauties before it comes to either a gentle, or a loud, spectacular end. She will gladly pay any bard a fair price to play such a tune.

Opinions of magic: Sylvia has always been interested in magic, but has never been given the opportunity to learn it. She finds it very fascinating and understands its potential to be used for good. She plans to eventually attend the academy at Ximax one day to quench her curiosity. If she studied magic, and she found a way to make a living with this talent, she would abandon her job as a bounty hunter and pursue a career that allows her to express her true nature.

Morals: Sylvia has a strong dislike for killing, but she will if she must and will not sacrifice her own life for the sake of her morals. She would also not normally sacrifice her own life for anyone but her mother, Ilarol, or Mesa. She is not above using her feminine charm to gain information. She sees no harm in this. After all, who is really getting robbed? She displays her looks and they give her all the information she wants. She will steal for survival if necessary, but she prefers to make an honest living.

Opinion on people: Sylvia does not like to kill humanoid creatures such as: elves, humans, dwarves, gnomes, hobbits, and the like. However, she has no qulams about killing the mor beast-like creatures of Caelreth, such as: orcs, trolls, ogres, and the like. She simply cannot apply them to people in her own mind, and rather thinks of them as animals. She prefers to only interact with humanoid creatures to gain information or if they are friends of hers.

Strengths:
Sylvia is light, agile, and quick: Sylvia isn't very large, and may even be called small, which she uses to her advantage. She can easily dodge attacks made by slower opponents, and can hold her own with the quick ones. What she lacks in power, she makes up for in speed. She is usually one step ahead of her opponents and can often land two blows in the time it takes them to land one.

Common Sense: Even though Sylvia isn't very "book smart", she has brains in the areas of common sense. She can think on her feet effectively and can generally outwit her enemies with only slight difficulty. She usually knows what to do in a spontaneous situation and leaves her enemies bewildered and confused. They never seem to know what hit them.

Double Kilij: These twin swords are helpful weapons to Sylvia. She has painted them nor'sidian so she can sneak up on her opponents at night. She uses the fact that they are are twin blades to her advantage. She can block with one of the blades, and strike with the other blade. She has developed her own unique fighting style with the blades, making them a blur before she strikes her finishing blow. Her preferred method of killing is to slice the opponents with both blades in the form of an X. With these weapons, close combat is made easy.    

Cooran'loh: These small blades attached to the inside of her boots can be a life saver in sticky situations. If an enemy lands a blow on her and she gets knocked down, she simply has to click her boots together and they spring out, allowing her to land some effective surprise attacks on the unsuspecting enemies who think they've won.

Ilarol Vir: Ilarol Vir, her beloved Mithral wolf, aids her in tracking bounties with his sharp sense of smell and accute night vision. He can also help in a fight to create a diversion for Sylvia so she can strike against her opponents and end fights quickly. He also can hunt for the both of them, saving Sylvia money in not having to buy food.

Mesa: Mesa is Sylvia's riding horse. She allows Sylvia to travel much faster than if she were on foot. She also allows Sylvia to bring along more items by carrying them in her saddle bags.

Weaknesses:
Curse: Sylvia has been cursed by an evil mage whom was her bounty. It was difficult, but she took him down, and got a hefty reward. But, that reward came with a price. Moments before he died, he placed a curse on Sylvia. The physical appearance of this curse is the Cy'hallowian snow lock of hair that Sylvia posses. Whenever the curse is in effect, the lock of hair glows brightly. The effect of this curse is a horrible burning throughout her entire body and she becomes incapacitated during this time. This curse takes effect whenever she goes through her moon cycle. The spells of burning are incredibly random and can last up to ten minutes.She has made finding a mage powerful enough to undo the curse a top priority on her agenda.

Horrible lying/diplomacy skills: Sylvia cannot tell a lie. You might think it's because she's an honest person. Well then you're horribly wrong. Sylvia simply is a horrible liar. She cannot keep a straight face and is usually an open book to most people. Needless to say, one of the most valuable weapons to a bounty hunter, deception, is beyond her. Sylvia also cannot talk her way out of a situation, or settle a difference with words. This constantly becomes a problem to Sylvia and she is forced to use violence and force. She must constantly be on the lookout for people looking to cause trouble, for she prefers to avoid them. This makes her restless, which brings us to our next weakness: paranoia.

Paranoia: Sylvia has fought many enemies and much of the time the fight is brought to her. This makes her paranoid to the point of waking up constantly in the middle of the night and flinching at every noise she hears in the woods or on the road. She doesn't trust many people and it is difficult for her to accept anyone new into her circle of trust. Because of her distrust, she is not very social, which makes gathering information on her her bounties difficult, and she typically has very few allies she can rely on without question.

Temper: Sylvia is fiery by nature and has a horrible temper. In a fight, if her temper rises, her judgment can become clouded. If her enemies can get a rise out of her, they can easily gain an advantage. It's not hard to get a rise out of her. If you insult her pride or her friends, harm her or her friends, or question her honor, it will set her off like a stick of dynamite. Because of her temper, Sylvia tends to have a sharp tongue, and it can cause the breaking of a deal with one of her clients.

Guilt: Sylvia usually goes for criminals who have comitted serious crimes (i.e. murder) and therefore, most of the time are wanted dead or alive. Sylvia usually cannot capture these people because they are dangerous, and usually must kill them. She hardens her heart before every fight, convincing herself that what she is doing is right and these criminals don't deserve to live. However, Sylvia knows she is lying to herself and feels great guilt after taking a life. She does not show it outwardly and prefers to keep it bottled up. This eats away at her and will affect her health, mental and physical, to the point where she will find an inn and sob in her room for days. She is also more prone to an illness because of this.


History: Nilvard Osgood, a man with a short, small build and an even shorter temper, was walking through the Auturian woods, hunting for him and his mother. His short cropped Nor'sidian hair, uncommon for his tribe the Avennorians, ruffling minutely in the wind, he stopped walking to rub his xazure eyes. The man had been tracking what he judged to be a doe for some time now. He spotted her from the underbrush and she was nibbling on some small patches of grass. The peasant took aim at the doe with his small hunting bow, his hand shaking because he was only of low class and had no experience with a bow. He was forced to hunt for himself and his mother because they were very poor. He shot and was off by several feet. The doe became startled and fled. Nilvard cursed loudly and plopped down on his butt and put his face in his hands. He lifted his face up quickly when he heard a snarl not too far away. He stood up and drew his small kitchen knife and glanced around shiftily. From out of the bushes came a pack of six wolves, quickly surrounding him in the small clearing he was in.

Nilvard began trembling as the pack slowly circled him, the knife falling from his hands. When the wolves began to slowly advance on him, a feminine figure wearing wood-colored clothing jumped down from the top of a surrounding tree. Fenan Palinor, an elf from the tribe of Tethinrhim who was also hunting for her family, turns to face Arthur and says "What the hell do you think you're doing?" Nilvard is too stunned to speak and just stood there gawking at her. He has never seen someone so beautiful with her auburn hair, hazel eyes, and sharp features, he had eyes for her since that moment."Never mind." She said annoyed. She drew her double kilij and took a protective stance over the frightened man. The largest wolf that looked like the leader lunged at them. With one sweep of the sword in her right hand the wolf was downed. With one last snarl the the remaining wolves fled now that their leader had been killed.

Fenan turned to him with a grin on her face and was about to say something but she froze with a look of astonishment on her face. Never had she seen such beautiful eyes in her own tribe while looking into his pools of seemingly liquid magic. He in turn, was spellbound by her. They sat there and stared at each other for what seemed like was hours but was actually five minutes before they realised what they were doing. Nilvard turned away quickly and blushed and Fenan simply continued to stare with an amused expression on her face. Her hand unconsciously touched his as they sat down and began talking. He didn't seem to mind at all. He found out that she aspired to be of warrior class in her tribe. Nilvard had no doubt in his mind that she would be some day. When she asked him about his life he was reluctant to tell her about his financial troubles but he found it impossible to lie to her while staring at those eyes and eventually told her. She felt sympathy for him and pulled out two squirrels that she had killed for food and gave them to him.

Nilvard could only stare at her with fierce gratitude. Her grin just grew larger and only then did she notice her hand was on his. Strangely, she made no move to remove it. They continued talking and found it interesting how different their cultures were. Both felt the connection blossoming between them. After all, nothing bonds two people than a near-death experience. As the sun sank lower on the horizon, they decided it was to time to head to their respective homes. Fenan walked Nilvard to his horse some miles away and he did not object. When he reached his chestnut horse he packed away the squirrels that Fenan had given him and turned to face her. He offered her his hand and she shook it. When he tried to release her hand, she leaned forward and kissed him then took off running, a small smile on her face. Nilvard was stunned for a moment but quickly snapped out of it. He mounted up with a smile similar to Fenan's and began the journey home. They both know they'd see the other again.

Nilvard continued to visit Fenan in the forest and their bond grew evermore stronger beyond the point of friendship so it was not surprising when Fenan became pregnant. They were both overjoyed but also scared because the head of Fenan's village would not approve of such a happening. They planned a secret wedding and only Nilvard's mother, Miriam, and Fenan's brother Svendel would be attending. On one particular day Arthur and Fenan were supposed to meet in secret to plan for the wedding. As Fenan approached their secret meeting spot she smelled blood. She quickly drew her double kilij for protection and crept towards the place they had first met. When she got their she dropped her double kilij in shock. Lying there was Nilvard covered in blood next to to equally covered wolves. She ran over to him as tears streamed from her eyes. She knelt beside him and felt his pulse. He was nearly gone and there was nothing she could do. He opened his eyes and gave her a weak smile and then scrunched them up in pain and grimaced.

The pained man opened them again attempted weakly to lift his hand. She noticed something in his hand and took it. It was a white crescent-shaped pedant. He point to her stomach and she understood immediately. It was for her baby, their baby. She just nodded and he mouthed I love you. She just cried harder as he closed his eyes and his breathing stopped. She stayed there for hours crying and screaming for him to come back. Never had she felt such despair. It was like part of her, no half of her had just died. She wanted to die herself. Then she remembered that her life was not the only one dependent on her well-being. With great difficulty, she returned home. She was ridden with grief for days but she showed great strength in keeping it together for her daughter.

Four months later she gave birth to a little girl and named her Sylvia, Sylvia Palinor. She named her the name Nilvard had wanted for her in memory of him. That night, under the full moon, Fenan placed the necklace Arthur made for her around Sylvia's neck. Sylvia was kept secret for three months until Fenan thought it was time she faced her tribe. The Tethinrhim leader did not take to kindly to a half-elf living within his tribe. After much persuasion and begging from his mate, he agreed to allow her to remain with the Tethinrhim. However he refused to have her soul name tattoed on her person. However the spiritual leader of the tribe agreed to do a reading in secret forth knowledge of the soul belongs to all.

As Sylvia grew older she did not get along well with other elven children because was easily noticeable she was different with her Nor'sidian hair and her ears that were not nearly as pointed as the other children's. It grew so bad she was starting to get death threats so her mother decided to keep her at home. when she was eighteen, her mother began training her in swordsmanship. She started off with wooden swords then after a month of training, she gave Sylvia her double kilij. Fenan also gave her her cooran'loh and spent many months training her how to balance while using them to attack.

When Sylvia was thirty years old she set off to find her calling in the world. One day, as she was walking in the wood, Sylvia heard whimpering. She set off to find the source. In some underbrush, she found an injured mithral wolf. She stayed with him in that area for a few weeks until her was healed. He wouldn't stop following her once he was better so she decided to bring him with her and named him Ilarol Vir. She found it fairly easy to train him to follow simple commands and he even hunted for the both of them. On the third day that they had been traveling, Sylvia was attacked by a man with a black mask who looked like an executioner. He wielded a large broad sword. Ilarol Vir, sensing his Mistress was in danger immediately attacked the man, scratching and biting him. This distracted the man long enough that Sylvia recovered and drew her double kilij. She commanded her beloved wolf to stand down. This was her fight and she didn't want him to get hurt.

They clashed for what seemed like ages but Sylvia was clearly the better swordsman. It seemed like she would win but the masked man had other plans. He blocked a double slash from her and took advantage of the opening she left by kicking her to the ground. He thought he'd won. He was dead wrong. Sylvia clicked her boots together, activating her cooran'loh. She skillfully balanced on her hands as she stabbed his arm. He cried out in pain but Sylvia wasn't done yet. She pushed off of the ground with some effort and spun in the air while at the same time she was cutting him. He staggered backwards in a daze. Sylvia landed lightly on her hands again and did a flip, stabbing his heart and puncturing his lung, killing him.

Some guards who had been patrolling the area from the nearby city of Marcogg burst through the bushes to the road she was on. They took one glance at Sylvia, one glance at the now dead masked man, and one glance at each other before the man who appeared to be the leader pulled out a medium sized pouch, and tossed it to Sylvia. Sylvia, who had now sheathed her double kilij and deactivated her cooran'loh, caught it with ease. When she opened it she found gold and they quickly explained that it was for the bounty and she decided that was her calling in the world, to punish those who committed crime. Getting paid for it was a bonus.

The guards politely escorted her to the nearby city of Marcogg and paid for her room at an inn. As they left they tipped their hats to her and one even winked at her. She sent him a glare and turned to the rest and smiled while thanking them. They departed immediately and Sylvia decided to look around for awhile. She came across a merchant selling a Koroch Fey Mol horse. She added her to her plan to become a bounty hunter, thinking she would need her to travel swiftly. She named her Mesa and decided to set off the following day to hunt a bounty she had discovered while eavesdropping on two guards who were standing in front of a bounty hunter. He was known for being an evil mage and has a record of many serious crimes and misdemeanors ranging from murder to petty thievery. She headed back to her room for the rest of the day deciding that she would need all of her stamina for this hunt.

The following morning, Sylvia set out from Marcogg in search of Elrid the Terrible. She had no leads so she decided to travel until she reached a village. One week later, Sylvia stopped at a small village and began to ask around. Most people were very uncooperative, but she ran into a fragile old woman whose leg had been burned by dark magic. Sylvia had Ilarol Vir get the scent of it so they could track Elrid down. Sylvia thanked the old woman and quickly left on Mesa, letting Ilarol lead the way.

Sylvia found him four days later, sitting by a fire at night. She kept a distance of one hundred peds and tethered Mesa to a tree and whispered in her ear to stay quiet. Mesa, being a highly intelligent horse, obeyed. Sylvia then instructed Ilarol Vir to stay put and guard Mesa. She then crept silently toward the camp the evil mage had made. Sylvia now squatted in the bushes surrounding his camp. She quickly thought of a way to catch him unawares as to avoid him using any spells against her. She quickly pulled padding from her bag and silently strapped them to her feet. Next, she drew her double kilij and locked them together into one sword. With her other hand, she grabbed a rock and lobbed it to the opposite side of the circle of bushes, creating noise.

Elrid quickly stood and went to inspect the disturbance. He now had his back to her. Sylvia charged out of the bushes behind him, the padding silencing her steps. With one swift motion, she beheaded him. As he fell to ground dead, a horrible burning sensation spread throughout her entire person. She woke up ten minutes later with memories of the horrible burning and a lock of purely white hair. A mark of a curse. She stood up and collected the head of Elrid, wrapping it in cloth. She went and found Mesa asleep and Ilarol still standing his watch over her in his defensive stance. Sylvia mounted Mesa and gave the command for Ilarol to follow.

On her journey back to Marcogg, Sylvia stopped at an inn to relax for a bit. She walked over to the bar to order a drink. She noticed, as she walked, how the men sitting at the tables stared at her. She noted what pigs men could be, especially when drunk. She noticed a bard sitting in the corner, looking depressed. Clearly, tipping had been rather scarce. She took a detour from the bar and decided to pay the lonely woman a visit. She took out ten sans, and tossed them into the sack at the bard's feet. She asked the bard to play something that she would like. The bard, whose name was Judith, launched into a soft, flowing melody. She knew Sylvia would be entranced, for she was a good judge of character, and could read Sylvia easily.

Sylvia immediately dropped five more sans into the sack. She immediately fell in love with this form of music, and sat there for about an hour, listening to Judith play. She made it a regular habit to stop at other inns that she might come across in her travels. She spent the night at the inn, having paid the bard well by the end of the night. The following morning, she found that the bard had left already, so she decided to continue on with her trek to Marcogg.

Two weeks later Sylvia arrived back in Marcogg and collected her reward. Sylvia still hunts bounties to this day and has made a name for herself as the bane of wrongdoers.

Weapons:
Double Kilij: Sylvia wears her double kilij a inside of leather casing in the shape of an X. They are painted nor'sidian for stealth and are sharpened daily by Sylvia as they are a gift from her mother and are well cared for by her. The hilts were specifically fitted for Sylvia by her mother, allowing her to reach her full potential. These are her main weapons in combat and she has fairly decent skill with them. She likes these twin swords because of their convenient ability to attack and defend simultaneously.

Fighting style: Sylvia has developed her own unique fighting style. It is divided into two forms.

Dance of the Moon: This is the first fighting form that Sylvia will use when fighting a large group. It is a defensive form in which Sylvia will have her swords crossed like an X, and her legs are spread shoulder width. It derives it's name from the way Sylvia will stay in a circular area with a circumference of approximately five fores. This helps her establish a dominance in a fight, letting her control the enviornment, while she defends against a number of attacks while waiting for an opening to strike.

Dance of Burning Fury: This is the second fighting form Sylvia uses in one-on-one fights. It is an offensive form in which Sylvia holds her swords together in the shape of a triangle. It derives it's name from the way Sylvia will attack relentlessly and aggressively while returning to the triangular position after every attack to block. This givves her opponents very little room to make an attack so Sylvia may establish a dominance over her opponent in controlling most of their movements. It's name is also derived from the way this particular way of attack works better if Sylvia is slightly angry. If she becomes too angry, she may make a mistake and she works relentlessly to keep her temper under wraps with little success.

Cooran'loh: These small twin blades are attached to Sylvia's boots on the inside and pop in and out easily. These are similarly cared for as the Sylvia's double kilij and are also a gift from her mother. These weapons are used as a last resort and she has decent skill with them but it has become more difficult to use them since she has been cursed. She likes these weapons because they can save her life at times by using the element of surprise.

Fighting style: Sylvia uses her cooran'loh in a series of flips, spinning and stabbing motions to render her opponents incapacitated. She is not skilled as well with this weapon as she is with the double kilij.

Belongings:
Double Kilij
Two spare outfits identical to her current clothing
Crescent moon pendant
Water skins
Supplies for horse care
Cloth
Cooking materials
Outdoor bedding
Saddle
Saddle bags
Emergency rations
Maps of Santharia
Money bag
2 coils of rope



Familiars:

Name: Ilarol Vir

Age: 5(Acquired at age 52 when he was 2 years old.)

Gender: Male

Breed: Mithral Wolf

Appearance: Ilarol Vir stands at two fores and two palmspans high, is one ped and three fores long, including his tail, and weighs one pygge and one heb. Most of his height is in his graceful legs which allow him to run swiftly. He has a pelt that sparkles in the moonlight, being the color of Barsadusk. He has a streak of Ithild running down his back and spots of the same color on his sides. His mask is of the same color as is the tip of his tail. He has black rings surrounding his Uderza blue eyes, giving him the impression of heavily applied eyeliner. His legs, along with his underbelly are Cy'hallowian snow. The inside of his ears are Mercoral, which are shaped like isosceles triangles with rounded tips.

Personality/Temperament: Ilarol is friendly only to Sylvia, and is highly distrusting of any others. He is boundlessly loyal to Sylvia alone and will trust only her and respond only to her commands. He is highly intelligent and crafty. By nature he is cold but he is warm for Sylvia for caring for him in the forest.


Name: Mesa

Age: 7(Acquired at age 52 when she was 4 years old.)

Gender: Female

Breed: Koroch-fey-Mologh horse.

Appearance: Mesa stands at 13.5 hands and weighs one pygge, eight hebs, one od, and four mut. Her coat is Nor'sidian, as are her rather large intelligent eyes. She has a long mane and her pelt gives off a shine in the right light.

Personality/Temperament:
Mesa has grown attached to Sylvia over the years and is quite fond of her. She is not very brave and will run from trouble the first chance she gets. She is intelligent and understands most of what Sylvia attempts to convey to her. She is not very clever or crafty and is kind to most people.
« Last Edit: September 16, 2009, 09:59:41 PM by Kalína Mërénwèn » Logged

"Sympathy is a luxury I simply cannot afford, for in the death of others do I make my living."

Sylvia Palinor
fionn
Prosaic Waif
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Posts: 321


Mullog


« Reply #1 on: July 11, 2009, 11:41:43 PM »

Hi Sylvia, welcome to the dream!
This is a good start, but I've a few protocal points that you'll need to change to encourage commentors, who are a workshy bunch as much as we are nosey. grin

firstly, the icon next to your topic title (click on the "modify button at the top of your post, then use the scroll-down menu next to where it says "message icon") should be set to "work in progress". once you've got it all sorted and want more comments, switch to "comments welcome", and we will swarm around your CD like hungry fishes.

also, I noticed your display name isn't quite the same as what it says in the title of your CD. You can change it by following these instructions: http://www.santharia.com/adv/index.php?page=20

Thirdly, I couldn't see a tribe in your CD. That might be my obtuseness, (is that a word?) but if not, then you really need to pick one, maybe two if you want to be a half-elf, though i'm guessing the most important would be the one you grew up with. we have lots of interesting and weird tribes in the compendium. the double row of picture icons to the left is your gateway to our truly massive compendium of Santharia-ness, and you'll find the tribes listed under races, which is the attractive guy with green skin. if you want a militaristic ef race, i'd go for maybe something like eophyrhim, who tend to be quite weapons-orientated. but read through a few entries, and see what you like. grin

if you've any questions, feel free to ask on the questions forum, on this thread, or by pm. grin
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"If it's teeth are longer than your fingers, for the Ancestors' sake, assume it doesn't want it's belly tickled..."
Fionn's CD
Sylvia Palinor
Masked Huntress
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Gender: Male
Posts: 563


Half-elf-Tethinrhim/Avennorian


« Reply #2 on: July 12, 2009, 03:59:29 AM »

 :D :DThankyou so much! this is my first time on here so i felt lost. u helped a lot! Can u put your character into magical training later on?
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"Sympathy is a luxury I simply cannot afford, for in the death of others do I make my living."

Sylvia Palinor
Kalína Dalá'isyrás
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High Elf, Kaýrrhem


« Reply #3 on: July 12, 2009, 04:41:44 AM »

Hey Sylvia. I have a couple of things real quick.

1) The formatting of your CD needs to be fixed. The alignment is really off and makes it difficult to read.

2) Your display name only needs to be your characters Name. In this case it would be Sylvia Palinor. Nothing special needed.
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Insanity is only a perception made by those who have yet to attain its greatness. While those of us who have already stepped inside its bounds find bliss in our utter madness.
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Sylvia Palinor
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« Reply #4 on: July 12, 2009, 05:05:22 AM »

Thankyou! :D Is it fixed and if not could you tell me how to fix it properly?
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"Sympathy is a luxury I simply cannot afford, for in the death of others do I make my living."

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« Reply #5 on: July 12, 2009, 07:29:35 AM »

Remove all the spaces or tabs or whatever you have before the sections. It's pushing it over to the right and it's a headache to read, as Kalina said.
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« Reply #6 on: July 12, 2009, 07:39:04 AM »

Better? if so can a moderator approve me soon?
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"Sympathy is a luxury I simply cannot afford, for in the death of others do I make my living."

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« Reply #7 on: July 12, 2009, 07:40:59 AM »

I had fixed it for you, and with my comments which are in the works, it will show you how it should look. Not complicated at all.

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Insanity is only a perception made by those who have yet to attain its greatness. While those of us who have already stepped inside its bounds find bliss in our utter madness.
Nai'r en'Lina ar'Kaimel
Sylvia Palinor
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« Reply #8 on: July 12, 2009, 07:43:08 AM »

pardon? i ddnt understand your comment... cry is it okay now or improvement needed?
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"Sympathy is a luxury I simply cannot afford, for in the death of others do I make my living."

Sylvia Palinor
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« Reply #9 on: July 12, 2009, 07:44:16 AM »

No, it isn't right. I had fixed it for you, but it has been changed. I am writing up some detailed comments for you, in which the format is correct.
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Insanity is only a perception made by those who have yet to attain its greatness. While those of us who have already stepped inside its bounds find bliss in our utter madness.
Nai'r en'Lina ar'Kaimel
Sylvia Palinor
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Half-elf-Tethinrhim/Avennorian


« Reply #10 on: July 12, 2009, 07:46:10 AM »

okay thankyou ill stand by
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"Sympathy is a luxury I simply cannot afford, for in the death of others do I make my living."

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« Reply #11 on: July 12, 2009, 08:06:05 AM »

Hello Sylvia. I am back and this time with some thorough comments. They will all be in red.

Name: Sylvia Palinor
                                               
Age: 24 Did you double check this in the Elven Aging Calculator? If not, please do so.

Gender: Female

Race: Human/Elf Crossbreed

Tribes: Human unknown; Elf Aellenrhim - Just because your character may not know her heritage, doesn't mean you (the author) is in the dark as well. Please find a suitable tribe for her human side. Also, keep in mind you will need a good explanation as to how her parents created her.

Occupation: Bounty Hunter

Title:

Overview: A combatant half-elf that is a bounty hunter and is very beautiful and has a great personality.

Height: 1 Ped, 2 Fores, and 1 Nailsbreadth

Weight: 90 lb Please use the Measures Converter for your weight as well.

Eye Color: Korwyn Gold

Hair Color: Nor'sidian with a cy'hallowian snow lock in the front.


*Skin Color: Lyth'be pollen

Dress: Nor'Sidian leggings, tunic, and boots.

Features: Slightly pointed ears, white teeth, half-full lips, sharp nose, Very graceful and strong build and moderately curvy, a black crescent shaped birthmark on her forehead, very slightly slanted eyes, and a warm smile.*

Everything between the asterisks should be in a section we call "Appearance". You can research the proper guide for Character Creation here. Feel free to break up your Clothing and Physical Appearance into different sections for details sake.

Personality:

Strengths: Very light and agile which makes swordplay easy for her, very stealthy, has accuracy with her bow, very caring and kindhearted but is also serious and does her job without hesitation.

Weaknesses: She lacks strength and raw power, a terrible diplomat, and very impulsive and headstrong.

You will want to list each Strength and Weakness separately and give a short explanation as to how it affects your character. Strength/Advantage: How it is a positive aspect to your character. Weakness/Disadvantage: How it is a negative aspect to your character.

Diet: vegetarian

History: She was conceived when humans raided her mother's elven village. Her father raped her mother and left her pregnant. Her mother trained her in the art of combat since birth. She lived with her mother since age 15 then she began travel. On the road she found her first bounty when he attacked her. She killed him and some soldiers saw what she did. they gave her her reward and that's how she found her occupation. That is where she is today: still collecting bounties.

The World of Caelereth is currently at peace, so raids will be rare, especially between two races who get along decently. Also, the way you have explained it, your character was being trained the moment she left the womb. I am quite positive you didn't mean with weapons, so explaining how her mother taught her to be a warrior from that age would be fantastic. Also, where did her mother learn such a craft? And if she was trained, why did she not fight off the human raiders? There are too many inconsistencies with this history which need to be more closely thought through and researched.

Familiar:  Fujin Wildcat and a small message bird. How did she obtain each of these animals? And you will want to explain how in your history.



Weapons: A moonblade(reason: An elven enchanter enchanted the blade to choose the one with The Mark which is the birthmark on her forehead. The enchantress said " If you do not wield this blade surely your life shall come to an early grave." End reason) a yew bow with many steel arrows and 1 mithril arrow that may only be used once that was a gift from her mother, and Steel knuckles.

I'm sorry, but I cannot accept that explanation for a moonblade. Also, any weapons you know how to use, need to be listed individually as a strength. You are comparing yourself to the average peasant, who don't have any formal training in any weapons. Your training with each weapon should also be explained in your history. What is the purpose of the mithril arrow? Also, we have our own trees/wood, so look around a bit for a good bow wood on the main site.

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Insanity is only a perception made by those who have yet to attain its greatness. While those of us who have already stepped inside its bounds find bliss in our utter madness.
Nai'r en'Lina ar'Kaimel
Sylvia Palinor
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Posts: 563


Half-elf-Tethinrhim/Avennorian


« Reply #12 on: July 12, 2009, 10:10:39 AM »

Okay :D much better now i think so comment as you wish!
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"Sympathy is a luxury I simply cannot afford, for in the death of others do I make my living."

Sylvia Palinor
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« Reply #13 on: July 12, 2009, 10:30:18 AM »

hi i like what you have done so far but if i might just say one thing, you might like to think about breaking up your history as it is all one big word wall, and a little intimidating to most just a thought  grin
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Sylvia Palinor
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Half-elf-Tethinrhim/Avennorian


« Reply #14 on: July 12, 2009, 10:34:06 AM »

Thanks yours looks pretty good too
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"Sympathy is a luxury I simply cannot afford, for in the death of others do I make my living."

Sylvia Palinor
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