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Author Topic: Sylvia Palinor/Half-elf Tethinrhim and Avennorian/Bounty Hunter  (Read 25487 times)
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Hale chinchilla Cambush
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« Reply #15 on: July 12, 2009, 10:40:14 AM »

('blushes') oh shucks Shocked
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Deklitch Hardin
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« Reply #16 on: July 12, 2009, 10:41:12 AM »

Please make sure you colour your changes, Sylvia.
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Seeking the truth, whatever the cost! - Deklitch Hardin, Elf Friend
Sylvia Palinor
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Half-elf-Tethinrhim/Avennorian


« Reply #17 on: July 12, 2009, 10:43:05 AM »

*laughs*
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"Sympathy is a luxury I simply cannot afford, for in the death of others do I make my living."

Sylvia Palinor
Altario Shialt-eck-Gorrin
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« Reply #18 on: July 12, 2009, 10:48:35 AM »

Subject line should be Name/Tribe/Occupation.. no more, no less.. in your case.. less.. pick one of the occupations, as it is too long now. :D and add your tribe
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Sylvia Palinor
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Half-elf-Tethinrhim/Avennorian


« Reply #19 on: July 12, 2009, 10:51:22 AM »

kk ty and hilarious sig btw
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"Sympathy is a luxury I simply cannot afford, for in the death of others do I make my living."

Sylvia Palinor
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« Reply #20 on: July 12, 2009, 12:01:18 PM »

Archer, in case you choose that particular occupation to list up there, is spelt with an r
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Sylvia Palinor
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Half-elf-Tethinrhim/Avennorian


« Reply #21 on: July 13, 2009, 12:10:04 AM »

Ok, I have updated my CD and all changes are in green. I hope all is satisfactory.
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"Sympathy is a luxury I simply cannot afford, for in the death of others do I make my living."

Sylvia Palinor
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« Reply #22 on: July 13, 2009, 12:45:08 AM »

Please use full sentences when describing your character's appearance and personality, and explain all your strengths and weaknesses in two to three sentences.

Also, at the moment you're quite unbalanced:

For a 24-year-old halfelf (which basically means that she's still a teenager) you have her be good at

Light and agile, 'deadly' accurate with a bow, stealthy, mature, double kilij, ephord, steel knuckles, dojmo brawling

which is supposed to be balanced by

Lacks strength, can't talk her way out of difficult situations, can't lie, headstrong and impulsive

That's not three, not four, but FIVE different fighting styles which she apparently learned within the first few years of her life. Also, two of her weaknesses are just as likely to be strengths (the headstrong and impulsive weaknesses).

Please can I ask you to tone down a little on the strengths (or a lot). My advice would be to lose the Dojmo brawling, which is a style of fighting native to only one tribe and very difficult to find someone of that tribe willing to teach you, keep yourself to one (at most two, but even that is a stretch) weapon, and add some weaknesses.

I'm sorry if my comments seem harsh but it's only to help you - nobody likes an unstoppable warrior in RPs :)
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Stat rosa pristina nomine, nomina nuda tenemus.
Irid al'Menie
Sylvia Palinor
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« Reply #23 on: July 13, 2009, 03:46:38 AM »

ok but here is my argument: A bounty hunter needs to have mastered several different fighting styles to be good at their job. I will probably remove the Doimo brawling and the Ephord...maybe hv her pick 1 up later on....u hv a point though Doimo and Ephord are out. maybe add another weakness? how about is easily fooled? i think that makes it more balance. THANKS! :D
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"Sympathy is a luxury I simply cannot afford, for in the death of others do I make my living."

Sylvia Palinor
Thorin Broadfist
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« Reply #24 on: July 13, 2009, 03:55:48 AM »

Well, you don't to have mastered a ton of different fighting styles. Personally, I think if you have mastered one, truly mastered, then you wouldn't need the other ones at all. Also, easily fooled doesn't really balance you out that much. I'd suggest something a bit more weakening, say, a physical aliment or even a mental illness (paranoia or hysteria for example). Just a thought.
Also, could you please not shorten words to letters. I noticed you say hv instead of have and u instead of you. Just take the little extra time it takes and your point will come across more clearly.
There's my two sans.
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I am a blacksmith, nothing more, nothing less.
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Thodin Coldflame Lomin
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« Reply #25 on: July 13, 2009, 04:04:15 AM »

Can I suggest making your CD a lot longer? Also you need more detail, a lot more detail. Just a heads up, it'll be hard to get your character approved without showing a lot of detail.
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"Of course I steal things. Wait. What do you mean you don't get it? Of course I'm a thief, but that's not going to stop me from being a nice guy now is it? Yes I took your wallet but so what? If it's not me it might as well be someone else right?"

- Thodin Lomin
Sylvia Palinor
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Half-elf-Tethinrhim/Avennorian


« Reply #26 on: July 13, 2009, 05:02:12 AM »

Ok I think I toned her down a good amount. I made her weaknesses more potent. Also I did take out her Doimo brawling and the Ephord. Tell me what more i need to do please. Also I think the detail is fine but thats my opinion. I covered the main points I think and that's mostly what matters I think.
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"Sympathy is a luxury I simply cannot afford, for in the death of others do I make my living."

Sylvia Palinor
Thorin Broadfist
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« Reply #27 on: July 13, 2009, 05:11:13 AM »

It's definitely better than it was before, but for details, you can almost never have enough. Yes, you have covered the main points, but we want to know about the sub-points and sub-sub-points. You already know what your character is, we don't really, and more details allow us to. (If that makes any sense at all >.<)
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I am a blacksmith, nothing more, nothing less.
-Thorin Broadfist
Sylvia Palinor
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Half-elf-Tethinrhim/Avennorian


« Reply #28 on: July 13, 2009, 05:29:01 AM »

Ok I'll work on the appearance and the history so you get a better picture. I really am a great writer, not to be conceited, but I'm just being lazy. I'll use more detail
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"Sympathy is a luxury I simply cannot afford, for in the death of others do I make my living."

Sylvia Palinor
Mathis Mallister
Righteous in Wrath
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« Reply #29 on: July 13, 2009, 08:47:13 AM »

2) Your display name only needs to be your characters Name. In this case it would be Sylvia Palinor. Nothing special needed.

Hint hint: you need to remove the underscore from your name :P

Profile > Account Related Settings > Name
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take an eye for an eye, turn your heart into stone
this is all I have lived for, this is all I have known
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