* 
Welcome Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?


*
gfxgfx Home Forum Help Search Calendar Login Register   gfxgfx
gfx gfx
gfx
Embed Maximize


Newbies, read these!

Character Creation
FAQs
Restrictions

Main Site
Portraits
Rules
Story Creation
Racial Crossbreeding
Magic

Contact
Tips and Tricks
IRC Chat
Measures Converter
Elven Aging Calculator
Pages: [1] 2   Go Down
Print
Author Topic: Drea Corfuyne/ Erpheronian/ Bounty Hunter  (Read 11568 times)
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
Drea
Dangerous Doxy
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Posts: 448


Human, Erpheronian


« on: July 12, 2009, 10:13:11 AM »

Name: Drea Corfuyne

Age: 28

Gender: Female

Race: Human

Tribe: Erpheronian

Occupation: Bounty Hunter

Height: 1 Ped 2 Fores 1 Palmspan

Weight: 1 Pygge, 3 Hebs

Eye Color: Green

Hair Color: Light Brown

Title: Dangerous Doxy

Overview:  Beautiful and tenacious, this hunter of criminals has made a name for herself among the shadier elements of Voldar and Nyermersys.  Growing up poor, she has forged a life that is equal parts danger and reward.  Long term goals are always at the forefront of her thoughts, even as she sacrifices her immediate morals.

Portrait:

Physical Appearance:
“My little green-eyed beauty.”  That is one of the few loving memories Drea has of her father, and it helped shape her view of herself.  She knows that her almond shaped eyes can capture the attention of others.  With the appropriate touches of rouge and kohl, her eyes and pouty full lips can be accentuated to make the most of her looks.

Brown hair falls neatly about her shoulders, sometimes kept in a ponytail, but more often than not, hangs loosely.  She washes it often, as well as keeping it luxuriantly brushed.

Drea is tall and most of this is in her long luxurious legs.  She has a natural confidence in her walk; her hips swaying rhythmically in an alluring fashion.  Natural grace and poise are in equal amounts in this woman.  Her lithe build is kept toned with heavy workouts with her swords.

Clothing:
Drea dresses for effect.  Quite aware of her feminine beauty, she uses this to its advantage.  She tends to show ample cleavage, and often wears cloths that expose her midriff and long shapely legs.  Her favourite colours are red and bright green, and will prefer to choose these colours, but also take in many clothes of black and white.

Her favourite seamstress lives in Voldar, and is a woman who creates clothes for both prostitutes and actresses, as well as more highborn ladies.  This fact is, of course, kept secret to all but a few people.  Drea is one of those lucky enough to be in the loop.

It is from this woman that Drea has procured her current dress.  A two piece outfit of bright karikrimson cloth.  The bodice is little more than a bare covering of her breasts, where the straps hold small shoulder pads which offer little to no protection, and are there for show only.   A billowing cape also connects to this, and wrapping about her neck, giving her a slightly regal bearing.

The trousers, of the same karikrimson cloth and bright brass buckles and rings, are basically leggings that come up from the ankle to midpoint of her thigh.  From that point to her hip, the outside of her thigh and hip are bare and are meshed in a web of laces that hold the front and back together.  Over her knees are the same faux armour pads that adorn her shoulders.

Norsidian black leather boots, coming to just below her knees, tightly hugging her shapely calves, complete her look.  Provocative?  Yes.  Salacious?  Without a doubt.  But, this is typical Drea.

Personality:
Drea sometimes wonders if she is two people in one.  Inside, she still feels herself the daughter of a simple laundry worker, from the streets of Nyermersys.  She longs for a life that is simple; maybe a husband, some children and a home of her own.

The practical side of her knows that it may never happen.  She lives hard; day to day.  She has been described as more of a man than most men.  She drinks hard, enjoys sex, and fights with the acumen few can match, either with her fists or with her blades.

In truth, these descriptions of her are only true to the degree in which she will pursue her targets.  Her body, the way that men view her, is only a means to an end.  She is an actress, in character, in order to find and bring to justice those she has been ordered to retrieve.  Collecting the bounty is the goal.  

In times between bounties, she sometimes goes back home to visit her mother and her three younger siblings.  Her two younger sisters are married with children of their own, something Drea is secretly envious of.  Her mother lives in the home of Drea’s younger surviving brother, who is not married and has taken up their father’s profession of working in the mines.  Often, she gives her family members a portion of the money she has earned, so that none of them or their children should know the hardships that they went through as children.  She no longer wishes her mother to have to do the laundry of others to get by.

Granted, these visits are few and far between.  Seeing the life she wishes and longs to live is simply too painful for her.  She does not give details to her family about how she lives her life, fearing the disappointment in her mother’s eyes.  Conversely, she does not share details of her family with people outside of this, so that her family is insulated from the embarrassment of having to deal with her reputation.

Strengths-
Femininity:  Though perhaps not naturally ingrained with perfect looks, she is never the less attractive, and knows how to use this to further her objectives.  Using make-up, clothing, and sex, she can often distract men around her into giving up vital information and, if needed, into lowering their guard long enough for her to bring weapon to bear.

Ephord: Drea has extensive knowledge and skill in the use of the Erpheronian broadsword, known as the Ephord.  She carries two of them.  In most cases, she can use one with better than average skill, but she is also able to brandish both with an impressive flourish.  In truth, in a fight, she might start with both swords in order to create a mental advantage, but is apt to drop the one in her left hand halfway through the fight, if her opponent is equally skilled, in order that she can fight to her true potential.

Armored:  Drea carries with her a set of chain mail armour, including a coif.  These are left over from her time in the army.  Not practical to wear everyday, if she knows that she will be going into danger, she will wear all of it, or perhaps just parts of it.  Her hauberk, chauses, gloves and coif come in handy if she knows that a battle is eminent.

Weaknesses:
Persona non grata:  Though not an enemy of the Order of the Fallen, her antagonistic resigning of her post has made her a pariah of the Order.  She would not be able to expect the same courtesy that others would receive from the Order.

Secrecy: Drea is afraid that her family will find out what she does for a living.  She is terrified of embarrassing her family.  She tries to keep the two separate elements of her life from overlapping, mostly by keeping secret the details of her life, and by her name change.  This thought is always in the back of her mind, and sometimes colours her judgement.  It also opens the door to blackmail, which has not yet happened, but does weigh heavily on her mind.

Chronic Pain:  Drea suffers from painful moon cycles.  This is a relatively new problem for her, but when it occurs, it can very nearly leave her bedridden.  Miyu beans help to control the pain somewhat, providing it is not an overly painful cycle.

History:
Andrea Miner was born to a lower class family, the second of five children in the city of Nyermersys.  Her mother was a laundress, who took in clothing from other people in order to wash them, while her father was a miner, who was often away at mining camps for most of her younger years.  Her older brother, when old enough, followed their father to the mines, and she took care of her three younger siblings while her mother worked.

Her earliest years were fairly typical of a lower class family; nothing in particular stood out.  However, when she turned 12, they received word that her older brother, only 16, and her father were both killed in a mine accident in the Warnaka Mountains.  If it wasn’t for the money her mother brought in from laundry services, the family may have starved to death.  As it was, Drea has many memories of hungry, cold nights, bundled in other people’s clothes to fall asleep.

At age 17, Drea joined the army.  Her father had been an extremely tall man, and she had inherited this from him, as well as a strong body.  This served her well in the tough years that followed.  For three years she served, before she was approached by a Knight of the Fallen.  

Lord Ephron of House Corfuyne, and Order of the Cross, took notice of the young, but talented soldier among his troops.  Twenty years her senior, he saw much potential in her, and she saw a father figure in him.  They developed a close relationship, which resulted in him making her his squire. Under his tutelage, she became quite adept in the ways of war.  Twice she was invited to participate in the Armerenda, though did not win either time.  However, she performed quite well, and garnered the respect of many and did her mentor proud.

At age 23, while staying in Milkengrad, her mentor, Lord Ephron, was killed by highwaymen travelling between Voldar and Milkengrad.  Upon hearing the news, Drea petitioned the Order of the Cross to send troops for her to use in order to bring the killers to justice.  The Order refused, citing this as an internal affair for Santharian forces to deal with.  Incensed, Drea resigned her post from the Order of the Fallen, never having achieved the rank of Knight.

Instead, Drea decided to exact revenge on her own terms.  Her investigation took her to the seedy underworld of Voldar.  To gather information, and to get access to the people she deemed responsible for Ephron’s death, Drea learned the value of provocative dress.  Men, it seemed, were stupid when it came to scantily clothed women.  Distraction became a part of her repertoire.  

Eventually, Drea found those responsible, and brought those who survived her wrath to the authorities to deal with.  She watched in satisfaction as they were hanged.  This pleasure was short-lived, however, and she soon found herself restless, unable to return to the Order of the Fallen.

It was with a bit of surprise that she welcomed a visit from local authorities, asking her if she was interested in going after another local criminal.  Drea accepted, and her new career was formed.  In honour of her mentor, Andrea Miner became Drea Corfuyne, taking his name, though no legal ties can be drawn between the two.

Two years ago, when she was 26 years old, Drea found herself pregnant.  Knowing that the father was a criminal she had captured and was scheduled to be hanged for his crimes, and not wanting to bring shame upon her family by giving birth to a bastard child, Drea sought out the questionable talents of a woman who supposedly knew how to take care of such problems.  The woman was, however, not much better than a butcher.  What was promised her to be a minor surgery became much worse when infection set in.  There was much blood, and there were a few times when those around her had agreed she was going to die from the fever.  Drea lived, however, but it was not to be a quick and full recovery.  She found that since that time, her moon cycles have been much bloodier and far more painful than they had ever been before.

Weapons: Two highly polished and well maintained Ephords are strapped to her hips; being deadly weapons, if not fancy.

Belongings
Drea carries a few sets of clothes in a large saddlebag on her saddle.    Of course, she has the requisite tack for her horse; saddle, bridle, blanket, etc.  Another saddlebag carries a few days worth of food, cutlery, flint and steel, and a waterskin.  She has a worn map, folded and faded, tucked away in a pocket, with charcoal marks on it to show where places are.  She cannot read or write, so she has a system of marks that she can remember that she uses on the maps.  Her most treasured items, besides her swords, are her suit of Erpheronian made chain armour.  She has a complete set that includes a long sleeved shirt or hauberk, leggings or chauses, a coif or hood, and gloves.

Familiar:
Drea rides a Rusik horse named Starback she bought at the Xara Horse Auctions in Horth.  It is a dependable gelding, standing close to five fores at its withers, and brown in colour.  It is well trained, thanks to her training under Ephron, and will not shy away from battle.  Drea figures the little horse to be around 8 years old.
« Last Edit: August 09, 2009, 02:49:07 AM by Kalína Mërénwèn » Logged

Drea's CD

Honour is within you, and cannot be taken away by others.  Neither highborn Knights with hollow souls, or gossiping harpies can break your spirit unless you let them.- Drea
Deklitch Hardin
Truth Seeker
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 1536


Human, Erpheronian


« Reply #1 on: July 12, 2009, 10:47:45 AM »

Your CD is looking good, Drea.  Thumb up

Just wanted to draw your attention to the post icons up the top, either the pencil (char status 1) or the exclamation mark (char status 2), just in case you weren't aware of them. :)
Logged

Seeking the truth, whatever the cost! - Deklitch Hardin, Elf Friend
Drea
Dangerous Doxy
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Posts: 448


Human, Erpheronian


« Reply #2 on: July 12, 2009, 10:52:58 AM »

 Shocked  Thank you, I missed that detail.  And I was trying to be so careful in my CD too, and get it right.  Oh well.
Logged

Drea's CD

Honour is within you, and cannot be taken away by others.  Neither highborn Knights with hollow souls, or gossiping harpies can break your spirit unless you let them.- Drea
Fidget
Acquirer of Fine Curios
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 127


Human, Erpheronian


« Reply #3 on: July 12, 2009, 12:02:14 PM »

Hiya Drea. Real quick you need to use the Santharian measurements for weight to. Currently your weight would be  8 Hebs, 1 Od, 7 Mut. Though standing at roughly six and a half feet tall that seems a bit small. Kinda like Kate Moss tryin' to swing a sword. grin

Measure Converter
« Last Edit: July 12, 2009, 12:03:29 PM by Fidget » Logged

The I is lost in me, But I am ready to give you The M. It might even be the E.
As I begin to search for I, The I is lost in me."
               Anders Friden, In Flames

        Fidget's CD
Drea
Dangerous Doxy
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Posts: 448


Human, Erpheronian


« Reply #4 on: July 12, 2009, 01:32:22 PM »

Thank you, Fidget.  I had forgot to change the weight from the CD I copied the format from to be honest.  After looking at her height, I lowered it somewhat, as I think 2 fores was excessively tall.
« Last Edit: July 12, 2009, 02:17:14 PM by Drea » Logged

Drea's CD

Honour is within you, and cannot be taken away by others.  Neither highborn Knights with hollow souls, or gossiping harpies can break your spirit unless you let them.- Drea
Sylvia Palinor
Masked Huntress
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 563


Half-elf-Tethinrhim/Avennorian


« Reply #5 on: July 12, 2009, 02:27:10 PM »

Hey Drea great job! awesome CD! nice to meet a fellow bounty hunter. im actually a guy playing a girl character so dnt get confused lol.
Logged

"Sympathy is a luxury I simply cannot afford, for in the death of others do I make my living."

Sylvia Palinor
Drea
Dangerous Doxy
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Posts: 448


Human, Erpheronian


« Reply #6 on: July 13, 2009, 02:37:12 AM »

Thank you  :)  Can't never have too many female bounty hunters, no?
Logged

Drea's CD

Honour is within you, and cannot be taken away by others.  Neither highborn Knights with hollow souls, or gossiping harpies can break your spirit unless you let them.- Drea
Sylvia Palinor
Masked Huntress
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 563


Half-elf-Tethinrhim/Avennorian


« Reply #7 on: July 16, 2009, 11:01:51 AM »

nope you sure can't! Rolling fish
Logged

"Sympathy is a luxury I simply cannot afford, for in the death of others do I make my living."

Sylvia Palinor
Drea
Dangerous Doxy
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Posts: 448


Human, Erpheronian


« Reply #8 on: July 17, 2009, 01:49:56 AM »

4 day Bump (4 days from last critique comments.. not from last comment :D)
Logged

Drea's CD

Honour is within you, and cannot be taken away by others.  Neither highborn Knights with hollow souls, or gossiping harpies can break your spirit unless you let them.- Drea
Valan Nonesuch
Collector of Lore
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 671


Human, Erpheronian


« Reply #9 on: July 17, 2009, 04:44:41 AM »

A note on your title, the second doesn't work as Santharia has no (absolutely none) vampires. I don't the first does either, come to think of it.
Logged

Do not act incautiously when confronting little bald wrinkly smiling men!
Valan Nonesuch
Drea
Dangerous Doxy
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Posts: 448


Human, Erpheronian


« Reply #10 on: July 17, 2009, 05:56:52 AM »

I have no references to Vampires. :D  Vamp is a woman who uses her sexual wiles on men to further her gain.

Any critique on content?
Logged

Drea's CD

Honour is within you, and cannot be taken away by others.  Neither highborn Knights with hollow souls, or gossiping harpies can break your spirit unless you let them.- Drea
Thodin Coldflame Lomin
The Cutpurse Gentleman
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 488


Human, Erpheronian


« Reply #11 on: July 17, 2009, 05:58:15 AM »

Beautiful you need to decide on one title.  ;)
Logged

"Of course I steal things. Wait. What do you mean you don't get it? Of course I'm a thief, but that's not going to stop me from being a nice guy now is it? Yes I took your wallet but so what? If it's not me it might as well be someone else right?"

- Thodin Lomin
Kalína Dalá'isyrás
Dalá'isyrás
Mini-mod
***
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 12803


High Elf, Kaýrrhem


« Reply #12 on: July 17, 2009, 06:00:09 AM »

You may not wish to use "vamp", as it implies the shortened more widely known aspect "Vampire". Hence the confusion.
« Last Edit: July 17, 2009, 06:01:30 AM by Kalína Mërénwèn » Logged

Insanity is only a perception made by those who have yet to attain its greatness. While those of us who have already stepped inside its bounds find bliss in our utter madness.
Nai'r en'Lina ar'Kaimel
Drea
Dangerous Doxy
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Posts: 448


Human, Erpheronian


« Reply #13 on: July 17, 2009, 06:07:30 AM »

Dangerous Doxy it is. :D

Though... Doxy is from the old Dutch word  "docke", meaning "doll" .. and since we don't speak Dutch here, it might cause problems.. :P

I jest.  Title changed.
Logged

Drea's CD

Honour is within you, and cannot be taken away by others.  Neither highborn Knights with hollow souls, or gossiping harpies can break your spirit unless you let them.- Drea
Deklitch Hardin
Truth Seeker
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 1536


Human, Erpheronian


« Reply #14 on: July 17, 2009, 08:56:51 AM »

Hi Drea, and welcome to Santharia. You wanted someone to give you(r CD) a quick look over, and as Dek is a 14 year old youth of raging hormones, how could he possibly refuse? Anyway, my comments/suggestions etc will be in lime green.

Name: Drea Corfuyne

Age: 28

Gender: Female

Race: Human

Occupation: Bounty Hunter

Height: 1 Ped 2 Fores 1 Palm

Weight: 1 Pygge, 3 Hebs

Eye Color: Green

Hair Color: Light Brown

Title: Dangerous Doxy

Overview:  Beautiful and tenacious, this hunter of criminals has made a name for herself among the shadier elements of Voldar and Nyermersys.  Growing up poor, she has forged a life that is equal parts danger and reward.  Long term goals are always at the forefront of her thoughts, even as she sacrifices her immediate morals.

Portrait:

Physical Appearance:
“My little green eyed beauty.”  That is one of the few loving memories Drea has of her father, and it helped shape her view of herself.  She knows that her almond shaped eyes can capture the attention of others.  With the appropriate touches of rouge and kohl, her eyes and pouty full lips can be accentuated to make the most of her looks.

Brown hair falls neatly about her shoulders, sometimes kept in a ponytail, but more often than not, hanging loosely.  She washes it often, as well as keeping it luxuriantly brushed.

Drea is tall and most of this is in her long luxurious legs. Ooh aliteration ... I like it :D.  She has a natural confidence in her walk; her hips swaying rhythmically in an alluring fashion.  Natural grace and poise are in equal amounts in this woman.  Her lithe build is kept toned with heavy workouts with her swords.

Clothing:
Drea dresses for effect.  Quite aware of her feminine beauty beauty is in the eye of the beholder, they say. Not necessarily everyone will consider her beautiful ... although I know what you mean. Would feminine looks or something like that be a better choice of words here?, she uses this to its advantage.  She tends to show ample cleavage, and often wears cloths that expose her midriff and long shapely legs.  Her favourite colours are red and bright green, and will prefer to choose these colours, but also take in many clothes of black and white.

Her favourite seamstress lives in Voldar, and is a woman who creates clothes for both prostitutes and actresses, as well as more highborn ladies.  This fact is, of course, kept secret to all but a few people.  Drea is one of those lucky enough to be in the loop.

It is from this woman The comma that was here isn't needed, I don't think. that Drea has procured her current dress.  A two piece outfit of bright karikrimson cloth.  The bodice is little more than a bare covering of her breasts, where the straps hold small shoulder pads which offer little to no protection, and are there for show only.   A billowing cape also connects to this, and wrapping about her neck, giving her a slightly regal bearing.

The trousers, of the same karikrimson cloth and bright brass buckles and rings, are basically leggings that come up from the ankle to midpoint of her thigh.  From that point to her hip, the outside of her thigh and hip are bare and are meshed in a web of laces that hold the front and back together.  Over her knees are the same faux armour pads that adorn her shoulders.

Norsidian black leather boots, coming to just below her knees, tightly hugging her shapely calves, complete her look.  Provocative?  Yes.  Salacious?  Without a doubt.  But, this is typical Drea. Not too much to comment on here, apart from it all mostly looks pretty good to me.

Personality:
Drea sometimes wonders if she is two people in one.  Inside, she still feels herself the daughter of a simple laundry worker, from the streets of Nyermersys.  She longs for a life that is simple; maybe a husband, some children and a home of her own.

The practical side of her knows that it may never happen.  She lives hard; day to day.  She has been described as more of a man than most men.  She drinks hard, enjoys sex indiscriminately, and fights with the acumen few can match, either with her fists or with her blades.

In truth, these descriptions of her are only true to the degree in which she will pursue her targets.  Her body, the way that men view her, is only a means to an end.  She is an actress, in character, in order to find and bring to justice those she has been ordered to retrieve.  Collecting the bounty is the goal. 

In times between bounties, she sometimes goes back home to visit her mother and her three younger siblings.  Her two younger sisters are married with children of their own, something Drea is secretly envious of.  Her mother lives in the home of Drea’s younger surviving brother, who is not married and has taken up their father’s profession of working in the mines.  Often, she gives her family members a portion of the money she has earned, so that none of them or their children should know the hardships that they went through as children.  She no longer wishes her mother to have to do the laundry of others to get by.

Granted, these visits are few and far between.  Seeing the life she wishes and longs to live is simply too painful for her.  She does not give details to her family about how she lives her life, fearing the disappointment in her mother’s eyes, and conversely, she does not share details of her family with people outside of this, so that her family is insulated from the embarrassment of having to deal with her reputation. Would you be able to split up that last sentence into two or more sentences, please? It seems a bit long to me. Maybe a full stop/period after mother's eyes, remove the and and start the next sentence with Conversely.

Strengths-
Beauty:  Though perhaps not naturally ingrained with perfect looks, she is never the less attractive, and knows how to use this to further her objectives.  Using make-up, clothing, and sex, she can often distract men around her into giving up vital information and, if needed, into lowering their guard long enough for her to bring weapon to bear. I know that when others have called a strength beauty or something similar, they have been asked to change it to something else. This is because beauty is in the eye of the beholder and what one person might find beautiful, another mightn't. Different races might find different things attractive. So, I think that you should think about changing the name of this strength to something like Sex Appeal or something along those lines.

Ephord: Drea has extensive knowledge and skill in the use of the Erpheronian broadsword, known as the Ephord.  She carries two of them.  In most cases, she can use one with better than average skill, but she is also able to brandish both with an impressive flourish.  In truth, in a fight, she might start with both swords in order to create a mental advantage, but is apt to drop one halfway through the fight, if her opponent is equally skilled, in order that she can fight to her true potential. Reads well to me ... one question here from me ... does it matter whether she drops the one in her left hand or her right hand? If it does, you might like to include that detail in here.


Weaknesses:
Persona non grata:  Though not an enemy of the Order of the Fallen, her antagonistic resigning of her post has made her a pariah of the Order.  She would not be able to expect the same courtesy that others would receive from the Order. I'm going to find out if 'Persona non grata' is a suitable phrase for here ... it makes sense to me, but I might get the opinion of one of the other mods/administrators on it.

Secrecy: Drea is afraid that her family will find out what she does for a living.  She is terrified of embarrassing her family.  She tries to keep the two separate elements of her life from overlapping, mostly by keeping secret the details of her life, and by her name change.

This seems pretty right to me over all

History:
Andrea Miner was born to a lower class family, the second of five children in the city of Nyermersys.  Her mother was a laundress, who took in clothing from other people in order to wash them, while her father was a miner, who was often away at mining camps for most of her younger years.  Her older brother, when old enough, followed their father to the mines, and she took care of her three younger siblings while her mother worked.

Her earliest years were fairly typical of a lower class family; nothing in particular stood out.  However, when she turned 12, they received word that her older brother, only 16, and her father were both killed in a mine accident in the Warnaka Mountains.  If it wasn’t for the money her mother brought in from laundry services, the family may have starved to death.  As it was, Drea has many memories of hungry, cold nights, bundled in other people’s clothes to fall asleep.

At age 17, Drea joined the army.  Her father had been an extremely tall man, and she had inherited this from him, as well as a strong body.  This served her well in the tough years that followed.  For three years she served, before she was approached by a Knight of the Fallen.  

Lord Ephron of House Corfuyne, and Order of the Cross, took notice of the young, but talented soldier among his troops.  Twenty years her senior, he saw much potential in her, and she saw a father figure in him.  They developed a close relationship, which resulted in him making her his squire. Under his tutelage, she became quite adept in the ways of war.  Twice she was invited to participate in the Armerenda, though did not win either time.  However, she performed quite well, and garnered the respect of many and did her mentor proud.

At age 23, while staying in Milkengrad, her mentor, Lord Ephron, was killed by highwaymen travelling between Voldar and Milkengrad.  Upon hearing the news, Drea petitioned the Order of the Cross to send troops for her to use in order to bring the killers to justice.  The Order refused, citing this as an internal affair for Santharian forces to deal with.  Incensed, Drea resigned her post from the Order of the Fallen, never having achieved the rank of Knight.

Instead, Drea decided to exact revenge on her own terms.  Her investigation took her to the seedy underworld of Voldar.  To gather information, and to get access to the people she deemed responsible for Ephron’s death, Drea learned the value of provocative dress.  Men, it seemed, were stupid when it came to scantily clothed women.  Distraction became a part of her repertoire.  

Eventually, Drea found those responsible, and brought those who survived her wrath to the authorities to deal with.  She watched in satisfaction as they were hanged.  This pleasure was short-lived, however, and she soon found herself restless, unable to return to the Order of the Fallen.

It was with a bit of surprise that she welcomed a visit from local authorities, asking her if she was interested in going after another local criminal.  Drea accepted, and her new career was formed.  In honour of her mentor, Andrea Miner became Drea Corfuyne, taking his name, though no legal ties can be drawn between the two.Your history reads well to me, Drea. I especially like the way you've researched the Knights of the Fallen and the Armerenda and included them in your CD.

The CD template actually has a separate heading for Weapons. It might be worthwhile for you to do the same thing here, and list the Ephords here rather than being under belongings.

Belongings
Drea carries a few sets of clothes in a large saddlebag on her saddle.  Two highly polished and well maintained Ephords are strapped to her hips; being deadly weapons, if not fancy.  Of course, she has the requisite tack for her horse; saddle, bridle, blanket, etc.  Another saddlebag carries a few days worth of food, cutlery, flint and steel, and a waterskin.  She has a worn map, folded and faded, tucked away in a pocket, with charcoal marks on it to show where places are.  She cannot read or write, so she has a system of marks that she can remember that she uses on the maps.

Familiar:
Drea rides a Rusik horse she bought at the Xara Horse Auctions in Horth.  It is a dependable gelding, standing close to five fores at its withers, and brown in colour.  It is well trained, thanks to her training under Ephron, and will not shy away from battle.  Drea figures the little horse to be around 8 years old.
Any thought to maybe giving the horse a name? Apart from that, would you consider including something about her purchasing the horse in the history section of your CD.

Well, Drea, from where I stand, I believe that you are very close to getting your approvals. Very nice CD! I'll find out about that question I raised about that weakness title from the other mods, and get back to you on that!
« Last Edit: July 17, 2009, 01:25:59 PM by Deklitch Hardin » Logged

Seeking the truth, whatever the cost! - Deklitch Hardin, Elf Friend
Pages: [1] 2   Go Up
Print
Jump to:  

Recent Posts
[March 19, 2020, 03:47:44 AM]

[July 23, 2019, 07:02:29 PM]

[July 23, 2019, 07:02:23 PM]

[August 01, 2018, 03:13:13 PM]

[June 19, 2018, 12:49:51 PM]

[April 28, 2018, 03:44:22 AM]

[April 13, 2018, 06:36:29 AM]

[April 10, 2018, 08:32:04 PM]

[March 09, 2018, 05:45:59 PM]

[February 13, 2018, 12:19:59 PM]
Members
Total Members: 2841
Latest: Hafontty
Stats
Total Posts: 214555
Total Topics: 8050
Online Today: 10
Online Ever: 216
(November 30, 2006, 09:08:03 AM)
Users Online
Users: 0
Guests: 17
Total: 17

Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2005, Simple Machines
TinyPortal v0.9.8 © Bloc
Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!
Theme based on Cerberus with Risen adjustments by Bloc and Krelia
Modified By Artimidor for The Santharian Dream
gfx
gfxgfx gfxgfx