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Author Topic: Grail Monhart _- Centoraurian -_ Assassin  (Read 2577 times)
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Grail Monhart
Knowledgeable Knave
Approved Character
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Gender: Male
Posts: 15


Human, Centoraurian


« on: July 14, 2009, 01:52:40 AM »

Name: Grail Monhart
Gender: Male
Age: 24
Race: Human
Tribe: Centoraurian
Occupation: Informant/Assassin/Thief
Title: Knowledgeable Knave

Overview:
"Thieving and killing are a necessary means for survival." From a young age, this boy with a heart of ice has never known kindness. Persistent on viewing the negatives of human nature, Grail has a strong distaste for all people. Of course from his charismatic and playful outward appearance, it is nigh on impossible to see the hardships this boy has experienced. Renown in particular circles for his attention to detail, and his ability to steal and kill without hesitation have brought the boy a dark respect from the others in the criminal underground. Though still making a name for himself as the best informant in all of Nyermersys, the boy has earned the favour and respect of various criminals, and swindlers in how he thieves from others and the merciful quickness of his kills. As many have said, "A swift death is a blessing to those who are about to die." Though few have actually bared witness to Grail's tactics, those that are not dead claim that the movements are similar to that of some deadly dance. Rumour has it that Grail hums a song for those he kills so they can pass to the after life without malice. If asked about the song, Grail simply shrugs and says that it is to show his respect to the Goddess of Death and to ask her for a longer life than those of the people he kills.

Appearance:
Height: 1 Ped, 2 Fores, 2 Nailsbreadths
Weight: 1 Pygge, 2 Hebs, 1 Hafeb, 2 Ods

Hair Colour: Nor'sidian
Eye Colour: Brown

Physical Appearance

For a Centoraurian, Grail is relatively small and his lithe build makes him look still smaller than he actually is. Though slim, he is possessed of a lean, muscular physique that makes him appear athletic. As with the vast majority of Centoraurian people, Grail's skin is a shade of pure white, though this is marred by the various cuts, scrapes and scratches on his hands, knees and feet. Black and blue blotches can also be found on his skin, a display of various bruises earned from hours of running, jumping, and hitting both stationary objects and people in general. Though his body, hands, and legs have several scars, and bruises, Grail keeps his face immaculately clean through several minutes of hard washing and soap wherever he can find it.

His hair is cut short and is naturally straight, but the forelocks are slightly longer than the rest of his hair. Though short, Grail's hair is exceptionally dense, and gives him a slightly feminine look. Grail still appears to be more boy than man facially as he lacks the roughness and contours found in an older man's face. His small nose and almond shaped eyes appear to be bright with an internal vigour. This is partially due to the dark brown coloration of his eyes, and the off set it has in contrast to his pale skin and black hair. The delicate fingers of his harsh hands appear exceptionally elegant and seem to be better suited for a musician's hands. Three of the fingers on Grail's right hand are severely broken and though not swollen are slightly demented compared to his other hand. Though he is a street urchin, Grail understands the importance of good posture when not trying to run away from violent merchants, or crouching in the sewers. Though he cares little for his own looks he knows that others are more likely to judge a person on their outward appearance.

Clothing

Grail was born a street urchin and there is a good chance he always will be one. His clothing appears to have once been made of extremely fine material, but it is now a raggedy mess of thinning threads. The tunic he wears could once have been Cyhalloi Snow in colour but is now covered in a combination of dirt, blood and filth. The fabric of the tunic is a resistant cotton that is still miraculously together, though the buttons have begun to fall off and there are no longer any sleeves to it. Beneath his tunic, Grail wears a raggedy shirt severely stained with wine, beer, blood, and dirt. Though recently purchased the cuffs have already begun to wear and several threads have begun to fall away from the cloth. Grail also keeps two sashes with him at all times, the first is wrapped around his waist and the other is wrapped around his neck. Both sashes are the same Xazure color, but they both have different uses. The one about Grail's neck is meant to keep him warm and is simply a show of style. The other is used as a sheath for his armoured fan, knife, and various tools, and is used to hide phials of poison when entering an establishment. By wrapping the phial securely in the sash around his neck or at his waist he is able to keep it hidden from plain sight while keeping it close to his body.

The remainder of Grail's attire consists of various leathers. His leather pants are skin tight and show off the contours of his leg muscles. Around the knees, the leathers of his pants are severely worn from hours of moving through dirt, and sewerage. Grail's boots are made of a more supple and soft leather though they are constantly covered in grit and grime. The boots themselves cover his legs from the bottom of his feet to just below his knees. Around mid-calf there are several clasps to keep the boots firmly on Grail's feet when he's moving about. The final piece of clothing that is in Grail's possession is a pair of fingerless black gloves. The gloves are meant to protect the palms of his hands while leaving his finger exposed to keep a good grip on his knife, and various tools. Like the rest of his clothing, the gloves are very baldy stained with blood despite being washed on a near daily basis. Wrap around bandages are carefully tied around the fingers of Grail's right hand with the exception of his thumb and index finger. These bandages are always slightly moist and the middle one has a habit of becoming caked with blood.

Personality

"No one has ever shown kindness to me, I'm just returning the favor." From a young age this street urchin has never known any happiness, love, or kindness. Grail has hardened his heart and mind to all of his emotions, but though he is dead on the inside his outward appearance is that of an energetic young man. In this way he claims he can learn about others through their habits and mannerisms without being too open about his true self. It is because of this that he is such an amazing informant as he is able to collect information easily without drawing too much attention to himself. It is from this cold, calculating personality that Grail is capable of killing others with little care to the loss of lives. Despite his brutal and violent underlying thoughts, Grail appears to be happy to associate with any and all kinds of people. To draw away from his gloomy personality, he pretends to be extremely up beat and select few ever notice that he despises those around him. In conjunction with his harsh personality, Grail is willing to do almost anything to earn higher and higher levels of respect from people. Some might go so far as it say it is an obsession of his to become one of the most well respected and feared men all of Southern Sarvonia.

Grail has a strong love for both music and dance. Music, because it was something he was never very good at creating though he can hum, and dance because he was trained in the Nine-Cycle Fan Dance. He believes that his training in dance was what allowed him to become an amazing assassin and gives him his stealth and acrobatic ability. The con man who trained him also taught him that if it wasn't in a person's hand it was made to be taken. To Grail stealing and killing are a way of life and a necessary means for survival. As such he tries not to get overly attached to anyone and does his best to avoid women. Often, he claims that his one true love is Queprur the Goddess of Death, and that he can only stop loving her upon his death. This leads him to hum before he kills so that he can earn a couple more years to his human life span. He claims that by doing this he'll make his life longer than that of the people he kills.

Strengths

Acrobatics - From as far back as he can remember Grail was taught acrobatics by Selena Silhart. Selena was a former acrobat who was the only motherly figure that Grail had as a boy. His skills in acrobatics are such that he is easily able to balance himself on wires, hang upside down, flip, and spin. By using these abilities he is able to track targets from roof tops, clothes' lines, ceilings, and alley ways without being spotted. This also allows him to jump a great deal higher, and run faster by balancing on the balls of his feet allowing for a greater extension of the foot. This also gives his body a great deal of flexibility which gives him a powerful advantage against bigger and stronger opponents. By twisting his arm at the joints he can break almost any hold a person has on his arm, though this does cause his muscles to cramp.

Armoured Fan - As part of his dancing instruction, Grail was taught the use of fan. The fan itself is exceptionally light and as such it allows him to make quick decisive strikes. Being a master of the fan, he is able to easily manipulate the fan by opening it to increase the range at which he can cut, or close it to allow for stronger thrusts and jabs. Though the weapon is only good against unarmoured opponents, Grail favours it over his knife, and poisons. This leads him to practice on a near constant basis both in the early morning, and late into the evening. The fan itself wears easily and so he is constantly sharpening the blades to avoid rusting and dullness. In short, the fan is Grails favorite weapon though he rarely uses it in anything other than dancing and killing lightly armoured opponents. The fan is made all the more effective through the use of Grail's dexterous fingers making it a deadly weapon in his hands.

Poison - Grail has a strong understanding of poisons and their compositions. Though unable to make them himself he has a strong knowledge of how to apply them to a situation in the most effective way possible. A slight stinginess can be seen in Grail's use of poison as he avoids using too much of it. In conjunction with this knowledge, he is also able to recognize the various antidotes for poisons though again he cannot make them himself. Though he rarely uses this, he is still quite capable of applying his knowledge with deadly efficiency when necessary.

Dancer - Having been taught the arts of dance in Milkengrad, Grail makes use of his skills in dance whenever he carries out an assassination or robbery. By learning how to follow the steps of another he is able to mimic the way in which a person walks and can follow a person silently without alerting them to his presence in this way. This also allows him to walk without making noise by placing his feet quickly and carefully on the floor. In many ways this allows him to move about unseen or unnoticed as he makes little sound, and his small size allows him to move from place to place by slipping between people in complete silence. The manipulation of the fan in the Nine-Cycles Fan dance help to give the fingers on Grail's left hand an incredible dexterity allowing them to find hand holds quickly, and keep a strong grip on any object with the maximum thinness of a fan when closed.

Swift - Grail is extremely surefooted and is capable of moving about easily and quickly thanks to his size. He is easily able to sleep through even the most jam packed crowed by making use of various spaces, and general pushing and shoving. Out in the open, he is able to easily out run grown men, scouts, and city guards without exhausting himself. At a rough estimate Grail is able to run forty peds in four point five seconds, and can keep up this speed for five minutes at most. Having run away from various kinds of guards, merchants, and innkeepers for the vast majority of his life, Grail is a naturally talented sprinter.

Stealthy - Being just under the average height for his tribe, Grail's shortness gives him a powerful advantage when trying to hide or take cover. By curling up, crouching, or fitting himself into a cramped spot he is easily able to avoid being easily detected by targets, guards, or merchants. By using his small size, and lighting to his advantage he can hide in places that would be to awkward for someone of larger size and build. This also gives him a strong advantage over his targets as he can easily surprise attack and kill people who are physically stronger than he is. This talent becomes useless when on a battlefield or in head to head combat as it neutralizes the need to be lying in wait for an opponent.

Knowledge - As an informer one must have a strong knowledge of people and places. Grail is incredibly knowledgeable about the cities of Nyermersys and Milkengrad. This information allows him to easily traverse the streets without getting lost and helps him to get to around though outside of either city he is completely lost. In addition to this, Grail has a firm knowledge of the various thieves, rogues, criminals, scoundrels, assassins, noblemen, merchants, street folk, and innkeepers throughout both cities. He also has a small network of, around ten or twelve people, who are members of various groups, gangs, crews, and caravans. All of his informers are usually servants or underlings who go unnoticed by the masses. In this way he is able to collect new, fresh and detailed information from almost anywhere. His informers also help him when selecting, and finding new targets that will fetch a high price amongst the various thieves and rogues of the cities.

Weaknesses

Right Hand - Three fingers on Grail's right hand were made completely useless in a childhood accident involving his armoured fan. The pinkie and middle finger are completely rigged and are unable to move. The other finger is very badly severed and Grail has never given his hand time to heal. As such the finger in between his pinkie and middle finger bleeds when ever he grips something to tightly with his right hand. Though born right handed, the loss of his three fingers has forced him to become left handed. Though not completely healed, Grail still forces his right hand to do the same things that he does with his left hand in an attempt to be slightly macho. The blood that seeps from his fingers at times causes his hand to become extremely slick. This makes doing acrobatics, and holding his fan in a firm grip exceptionally hard.

Violent - "Never pick a fight against someone who is obviously stronger then you." The rule was beaten into Grail on several occasions, but the words themselves have had no effect on him. Even when clearly out matched and in trouble he has a way of picking fights with the toughest and meanest looking people he can find. Though Grail's talents lie in surprise attacks, when offended or picked on he is unwilling to back down from anything. As such he acts incredibly violent, and is liable to do more damage to himself than his opponent. As of yet he has managed to avoid taking serious injury and has escaped several brawls with only a bloody nose, torn lip, or bruised arm. Still, this need to constantly fight is bound to get him into trouble one day, and it is only a matter of time before someone teaches him a lesson.

Proud - Grail's sense of honor is twisted such that he can not bear to have his pride hurt. In this sense he shows his Centoraurian heritage as many have said that the tribe is prone to vanity in it's ranks. Though the child of a prostitute, Grail believes that more than heritage, his work should speak for itself. When his information is wrong, or when he is reminded of past failures, though rare, he becomes unreasonably upset. This of course pushes him to do things that would prove his worth including, jumping off a carriage at full speed, slapping a nobleman full in the face, destroying a merchants stall, and fighting the toughest looking orc in the nearest tavern head on. Though he usually get extremely beaten up and bloodied he will never admit to having any kind of fault in his line of work, and does what he can to keep such talk out of sight and out of the minds of those who employ him.

Gambler - After turning twenty this boy has managed to discover gambling. Grail is willing to gamble every single coin that he owns if he knows that it will earn him still more. Of course this only occurs if actually brought to or having come across a group that is gambling. Whether it's dice or cards, Grail is familiar with almost every possible game conceivable and if he doesn't know how to play that he is more than eager to learn. This also causes him to be exceptionally forward in all matters involving material wealth. To him, if a lady is wearing a pearl necklace about her neck then she is simply asking for it to be stolen. It is because of this habit with gambling that he remains lower middle class despite doing several high paying jobs. If asked about his behavior towards gambling he claims that spending money is more fun than just accumulating it.

Weak - By appearance he may seem to be a lean and mean street punk, but in truth our Grail is weak. When carrying out an assassination he is usually forced to kill his opponents quickly, but there are select individuals whom he is able to over power. In this way he is able to keep a grip on his reputation when his kills are viewed by other rogues and scoundrels. Though weak, Grail uses his cunning, knowledge and speed to out do his opponents. Naturally this isn't as effective when fighting at close range in one on one combat. The few people who are not dead that know that he is physically weak are usually members of Grail's spy network. Still fewer people actually mention this to him so as to avoid irking him. Anything heavier than four hebs is impossible for Grail to lift without the assistance of his other arm, and anything over six hebs is next to impossible for him to move by hand.

Respect - If you aren't a thief, con man, rogue, criminal, murderer, marauder, bandit, or some form of violent liar, Grail probably has no respect for you. If a person has no money, power, or influence then Grail has no respect for you. Authority figures, and do-gooders are not people who exist in Grail's thoughts. He believes that respect is something that needs to be earned and by accumulating material wealth or power a person has proof of how much he has achieved. Because he is himself a thief and assassin, Grail can appreciate any and all talents revolving around the killing, or robbing of an individual. People in authority are simply over fed fools who are too blind to see what is going on around them. If a person lacks intelligence or cunning then they are simply a person who can be used to further his own goals and ideas. If you want to have respect, the rule is you've got to earn it. As such he is liable to getting into strange arguments with soldiers, and noblemen simply to irk them. This of course leads to a great deal of fighting and usually results with Grail being unconscious in a gutter or water trough.

History

Born to a prostitute, and left out on the streets of Milkengrad to die, Grail knew from the moment he understood what was going on around him how alone he really was. It was by some cursed fate, that instead of dying on the streets the Goddess of Death put him in the care of an alcoholic who picked him off the streets.

Leos Monarch was a former con man who had retired and turned to booze to take away his problems. On a whim he had picked up the crying baby and taken him home. When he had finally managed to sober up he realized that he now had a child in his possession. He realized that if he raised the boy properly, he would be able to make a fortune off the child's labours. It was with this though in mind that he began to take care of the boy, paying for a wet nurse to feed him, and clothing the babe in his own rags. Leos saw to it the babe was never malnourished, but made sure the boy's food was rationed. Having lived with an abusive alcoholic from birth, Grail's childhood memories are filled with the smell of spirits and the pain of loss. Locks were placed on the doors and windows, isolating the boy from the outside. He grew up in the hovel of a drunkard with no knowledge of the city just outside the walls of his home. Leos named the babe Grail after the name of his own father, and Grail would later make Monhart his last name by combining Leos' with his acrobatic instructors'.

At the age of five, Leos began to train Grail. In the morning Grail would do push ups and sit ups before breakfast. He would then eat a large breakfast before heading into the city. During this time Grail became curious about everything outside of his home, and tried his best to learn about the city as best he could. He would run laps throughout the city and try to remember names and the locations of various stalls and stores before returning to his Uncle Leos side for lunch. The money for food was earned on a daily basis by Grail, who at Leos command would beg or steal to obtain coins for their meal. The evenings were busily spent learning acrobatics from Selena Silhart, a former entertainer.

Selena was a motherly figure and though she never approved of Leos she did her best to feed the boy though all this she did in a hurry and in secrecy. Just before dinner, Leos would ask the boy questions pertaining to the location of streets, the art of thievery, how to lie, the location of various stalls and stores as well as the names of the various owners of different shops, and the names of various authority figures. If Grail failed to run laps before lunch, neglect to wake up on time, steal money for food, or answer the questions before dinner properly, he would beaten if Leos was drunk or told to do things over if he was sober. During the first three years of his training he would often go to bed tired and bruised from hours of working. Though he was mistreated, if Leos wasn't drunk the man could actually be nice and buy the boy treats or drinks for his good behaviour. Of course the majority of the time so drunk as to be unable to remember Grail's name and simply referred to him as "the boy."

Life was difficult for such a poor man and child, only made harder by the fact that Grail had to do almost everything to keep the two of them alive. During his runs through the town square he would meet other boys, and eventually managed to be friend one of them. A boy called Raul would come and run beside him at times to keep him company as he made his way around the city. The two were the best of friends, but their friendship lasted only a few short months. At the age of eight, Grail had become a surprisingly strong if not totally healthy young boy. Though he was weak physically, his mind was keen and he was an incredible sprinter. When it came to Leos' attention that the boy had been trying to make a friend, in place of running he forced the boy to join dance classes at the Grace of the Glitra. Though embarrassed at first he found that he truly loved dancing and began to share it's beauty with his Uncle Leos and Raul. It was at the Grace of the Glitra that he first began to use a fan, and fell in love with the story of Gerissa. It was around this time that Leos began to train Grail in the use of the armoured fan as a weapon. In conjunction with this, Uncle Leos taught him about various poisons and their antidotes.

Leos began to introduce Grail to thieves from all over Milkengrad. He would then have the boy steal from the best in the business so that Grail could learn how to steal through trial and error. All of this training was in preparation for the death of Raul. Several weeks after having joined the Grace of the Glitra, Leos located Raul in the poorer regions of town. By bounding the boy with a gag and covering his head with a face cloth, the old man convinced Grail to kill Raul. From that moment on Grail realized how truly evil Leos was and vowed vengeance for his only friend. For the next eight years he dedicated himself to his training, always pushing himself to become faster, and stronger so that he would finally be able to over power Leos. Grail dreamed of the day in which he would slit the man's throat, and it was this twisted dream that allowed him to endure all Leos' madness.

It was two years after the death of Raul that Grail's right hand became permanently crippled. In an attempt to kill Leos the boy tried to fight the former con man in single combat. During the fight, Grail dropped his fan and was easily defeated. As a lesson Leos cut the fingers of Grail's right hand at the middle joint. The fingers themselves were not completely severed and were still slightly attached to the hand. From his middle finger to pinky the fingers were severely damaged and from that day on had to be tightly bound and bandaged.

Without his right hand, Grail became significantly weaker though this did little to affect his drive to kill Leos. Despite the wound to his right hand, he quickly learned how to fight with his left hand. With age, Leos began to give the boy more freedom and let him roam the city for hours at a time. It was during these hours of rest that Grail would meet with servants, and thieves in order to build up his own network of informants. He joined the underground network of thieves to garner respect amongst the various rogues and criminals throughout the land. It was at the age of sixteen that Grail was first approached by a member of the criminal underground. Having retired early on from his career as a con man, Leos still had unsettled debts with some of his partners. As part of the deal Grail would be given the honor of killing Leos after the money had been extracted from him.

Grail lead Leos into an ambush several months later, and killed him before turning seventeen. It was at that moment that he realized that he had no one to turn to, and no place to go. He decided to become an assassin for hire, and made his living stealing from others. Having lived in Milkengrad the whole of his life, he decided to travel away from the city of his birth in favor of somewhere else. By leaving Milkengrad, Grail attempted to leave his former life behind and start a new. However, he never completely severed his connection to Milkengrad as he told his network to keep him informed of the going on's of the city. Eventually he arrived in Nyermersys, and began to put together a new network of spies. With his smarts, and cunning he was able to put his knowledge to good use by selling to to criminals who needed information on anything that had to do with Nyermersys or Milkengrad.

For the last eight years, Grail has lived in the city of Nyermersys buying and selling information to the highest bidder. He has garnered a strong reputation as a shrewd business man, and reliable source of information. In conjunction with his network, he is also hired on an irregular basis to carry out the assassination of various merchants or rich men. In order to keep up with the inconsistencies of his job, Grail regularly goes out to steal and keep in shape by running from the city watch. Though he can be considered middle class he is still unsatisfied and is waiting for the job that will change his standing in life to come along. He claims that the reason he was born was so that he could help the Goddess of Death do her job, and so far killing is the only thing that has meaning in his hollowed life.

Weapons
Grail limits himself to three weapons that are only necessary for him to carry out his daily work. The first is phial of poison that he rarely uses. In case he is asked to assassinate a target that is exceptionally strong or well guarded, he uses poison to avoid having confrontation. In this way he avoids running the risk of dieing or being trampled by somebody larger than him.

The second weapon is a knife made of steel and set in a bone handle. The blade is worn from several years of use, and the area around the hilt has begun to rust slightly. The knife is a recent addition to Grail's arsenal and he uses it to pick locks, open windows, doors, and steal purses from people, though his fan is capable of being put to the same use. Though he rarely uses this weapon as he has no real grasp of knife combat, and is careful to avoid using it in situations that involve attacking others.

The last and most well used weapon is his armoured fan. The fan itself is made out off a strong steel sheets, and on a daily basis Grail takes time to hone the edges of it. When performing a dance or when carrying out an assassination, he prefers to use his fan. The fan itself is a dark blue in color, and each sheet of steel has it's own floral pattern running vertically along it's length. In a fight the fan is Grail's weapon of choice as he is able to easily whip it about and can make concise and quick blows while pulling himself out of harms way. As his favorite weapon, the fan is used by Grail in almost every aspect of his work.

Belongings
Semi - White Tunic
Semi - White Shirt
X2 Sashes of Xazure
Brown Leather Pants
Soft Toe Brown Leather Boots
Brown Leather Gloves
Armoured Fan
Knife with Bone Hilt
Phial of Poison
Pouch with Various Coins
Rucksack
« Last Edit: July 26, 2009, 01:05:52 PM by Kalína Mërénwèn » Logged

"I don't know what you mean by love, but when you say kill it makes my heart throb."

_-_Centoraurian_-_ _-_ Grail Monhart_-_ _-_Queprur, Goddess of Death_-_
Valan Nonesuch
Collector of Lore
Approved Character
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Gender: Male
Posts: 671


Human, Erpheronian


« Reply #1 on: July 14, 2009, 02:29:00 AM »

Only one occupation up in the title please, and I'm not sure if you're aware, but the colour you are using is a little on the difficult side to read. Red may be a better choice.
Last but not least, violet isn't really an eye colour. You'll want to change that.

Enjoy writing your CD,


Valan Nonesuch
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Do not act incautiously when confronting little bald wrinkly smiling men!
Valan Nonesuch
Grail Monhart
Knowledgeable Knave
Approved Character
*
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Gender: Male
Posts: 15


Human, Centoraurian


« Reply #2 on: July 16, 2009, 05:13:25 AM »

I finally finished, bless my soul. Comments and other what not are all welcomed, so I thought I'd just bump this up on the list a little bit.  :D
Logged

"I don't know what you mean by love, but when you say kill it makes my heart throb."

_-_Centoraurian_-_ _-_ Grail Monhart_-_ _-_Queprur, Goddess of Death_-_
Toama SorInyt
Confident Nomad
Approved Character
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Posts: 151


Human, Sand Sisters


« Reply #3 on: July 16, 2009, 05:25:11 AM »

Could you please spare the poor commenters' eyes and use the normal font size? What you have there is *really* small to read, I'm getting a headache just from looking at it.

Also, under belongings (the only section I could read without said headache ;)) you don't need to list your clothes, so long as you describe them in your clothing section.

Anyway, welcome to the Dream, and good luck!
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Grail Monhart
Knowledgeable Knave
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 15


Human, Centoraurian


« Reply #4 on: July 16, 2009, 05:44:46 AM »

I'm so sorry to any commentators who were having trouble reading my post due to it's small font size. I've corrected that so you guys should be able to look at it without straining your eyes at the small font.

As for my clothing I thought I'd just add it in to the belongings because it's kind of hard to remember everything. And admittedly clothing does count as belongings, so any other comments?
Logged

"I don't know what you mean by love, but when you say kill it makes my heart throb."

_-_Centoraurian_-_ _-_ Grail Monhart_-_ _-_Queprur, Goddess of Death_-_
Airyn
The Worrywort
New Santharian

Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 256


Elf, Kay'rrhem


« Reply #5 on: July 16, 2009, 07:56:43 PM »

Hey Grail, just a few comments for you  :)

1) Could you please mention how your character has purple eyes? It's a very cool colour but not something you'd find every day.

2) You might want to go through your cd with a spell checker just to clear up a couple of mistakes :)

3) You don't have to, but why not add a little bit to your history about how Leos found him?

You have a great CD, which looks like you could be getting an approval soon  :)
Good work!
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Grail Monhart
Knowledgeable Knave
Approved Character
*
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Gender: Male
Posts: 15


Human, Centoraurian


« Reply #6 on: July 17, 2009, 01:39:34 AM »

Alright well I've decided to make him a bit more normal with regular brown eye color. I've also run this through a spell checker so I now officially know that I have no spelling mistakes and/or errors. Last but not least I've put in a small bit about Leos and his finding of the boy. Hope that helps readers.

Any other comments or suggestions are welcome.
Logged

"I don't know what you mean by love, but when you say kill it makes my heart throb."

_-_Centoraurian_-_ _-_ Grail Monhart_-_ _-_Queprur, Goddess of Death_-_
Deklitch Hardin
Truth Seeker
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Gender: Male
Posts: 1536


Human, Erpheronian


« Reply #7 on: July 21, 2009, 06:20:00 AM »

Hi Grail, sorry for the time taken to get around to commenting on your CD here, I'll take a look for you, with my comments in this version of green.


Name: Grail Monhart
Gender: Male
Age: 24
Race: Human
Tribe: Centoraurian
Occupation: Informant/Assassin/Thief
Title: Knowledgeable Knave

Overview:
"Thieving and killing are a necessary means for survival." From a young age, this boy with a heart of ice has never known kindness. Persistent on viewing the negatives of human nature, Grail has a strong distaste for all people. Of course from his charismatic and playful outward appearance, it is nigh on impossible to see the hardships this boy has experienced. Renowned in particular circles for his attention to detail, and his ability to steal and kill without hesitation have brought the boy a dark respect from the others in the criminal underground. Though still making a name for himself as the best informant in all of Nyermersys, the boy has earned the favour and respect of various criminals, and swindlers in how he thieves from others and the merciful quickness of his kills. As many have said, "A swift death is a blessing to those who are about to die." Though few have actually bared witness to Grail's tactics, those that are not dead claim that the movements are similar to that of some deadly dance. Rumour has it that Grail hums a song for those he kills so they can pass to the after life without malice. If asked about the song, Grail simply shrugs and says that it is to show his respect to the Goddess of Death and to ask her for a longer life than those of the people he kills.

Appearance:
Height: 1 Ped, 2 Fores, 2 Nailsbreadths
Weight: 1 Pygge, 2 Hebs, 1 Hafeb, 2 Ods

Hair Colour: Nor'sidian
Eye Colour: Brown

Physical Appearance

For a Centoraurian, Grail is relatively small and his lithe build makes him look still smaller than he actually is. Though slim, he is possessed of a lean, muscular physique that makes him appear athletic. As with the vast majority of Centoraurian people, Grail's skin is a shade of pure white, though this is marred by the various cuts, scrapes and scratches on his hands, knees and feet. Black and blue blotches can also be found on his skin, a display of various bruises earned from hours of running, jumping, and hitting both stationary objects and people in general. Though his body, hands, and legs have several scars, and bruises, Grail keeps his face immaculately clean. How does he manage to keep his face immaculately clean?

His hair is cut short and is naturally straight, but the forelocks are slightly longer than the rest of his hair. Though short, Grail's hair is exceptionally dense, and gives him a slightly feminine look. Grail still appears to be more boy than man facially as he lacks the roughness and contours found in an older man's face. His small nose and almond shaped eyes appear to be bright with an internal vigour. This is partially due to the strange dark purple colouration of his eyes, and the off set it has in contrast to his pale skin and black hair. Haven't you change his eye colour to brown now? The delicate fingers of his harsh hands appear exceptionally elegant and seem to be better suited for a musician's hands. Three of the fingers on Grail's right hand are severely broken and though not swollen are slightly demented compared to his other hand. Though he is a street urchin, Grail understands the importance of good posture when not trying to run away from violent merchants, or crouching in the sewers. Though he cares little for his own looks he knows that others are more likely to judge a person on their outward appearance. Overall this reads well to me. Feel free to restate his height/weight in here as well if you'd like to.

Clothing

Grail was born a street urchin and there is a good chance he always will be one. His clothing appears to have once been made of extremely fine material, but it is now a raggedy mess of thinning threads. The tunic he wears is could once have been Cyhalloi Snow in colour but is now covered in a combination of dirt, blood and filth. The fabric of the tunic is a resistant cotton that is still miraculously together, though the buttons have begun to fall off and there are no longer any sleeves to it. Beneath his tunic, Grail wears a raggedy shirt severely stained with wine, beer, blood, and dirt. Though recently purchased the cuffs have already begun to wear and several threads have begun to fall away from the cloth. Grail also keeps two sashes with him at all times, the first is wrapped around his waist and the other is wrapped around his neck. Both sashes are the same Xazure colour, but they both have different uses. The one about Grail's neck is meant to keep him warm and is simply a show of style. The other is used as a sheath for his armoured fan, knife and various tools, and is used to hide phials of poison when entering an establishment. By wrapping the phial securely in the sash around his neck or at his waist he is able to keep it hidden from plain sight while keeping it close to his body. This above paragraph reads well. However, it is perhaps a bit too long. Please consider breaking it up into two paragraphs.

The remainder of Grail's attire consists of various leathers. His leather pants are skin tight and show off the contours of his leg muscles. Around the knees, the leathers of his pants are severely worn from hours of moving through dirt, and sewerage. Grail's boots are made of a more supple and soft leather though they are constantly covered in grit and grime. The boots themselves cover his legs from the bottom of his feet to just below his knees. Around mid-calf there are several clasps to keep the boots firmly on Grail's feet when he's moving about. The final piece of clothing that is in Grail's possession is a pair of fingerless black gloves. The gloves are meant to protect the palms of his hands while leaving his finger exposed to keep a good grip on his knife, and various tools. Like the rest of his clothing, the gloves are very baldy stained with blood despite being washed on a near daily basis. Wrap around bandages are carefully tied around the fingers of Grail's right hand with the exception of his thumb and index finger. These bandages are always slightly moist and the middle one has a habit of becoming caked with blood. Once again, this reads well to me.

Personality

"No one has ever shown kindness to me, I'm just returning the favor." From a young age this street urchin has never known any happiness, love, or kindness. Grail has hardened his heart and mind to all of his emotions, but though he is dead on the inside his outward appearance is that of an energetic young man. In this way he claims he can learn about others through their habits and mannerisms without being too open about his true self. It is because of this that he is such an amazing informant, as he is able to collect information easily without drawing too much attention to himself. It is from this cold, calculating personality that Grail is capable of killing others with little care to the loss of lives. Despite his brutal and violent underlying thoughts, Grail appears to be happy to associate with any and all kinds of people. To draw away from his gloomy personality, he pretends to be extremely up beat and select few ever notice that he despises those around him. In conjunction with his harsh personality, Grail is willing to do almost anything to earn higher and higher levels of respect from people. Some might go so far as it say it is an obsession of his to become one of the most well respected and feared men all of Sarvonia.Do you mean Sarvonia (the continents) or Santharia (the kingdom)? Just like on the Earth we have North and South America, in Caelreth, we have North and South Sarvonia.

Grail has a strong love for both music and dance. Music because it was something he was never very good at creating music though he can hum, and dance because he was trained in the Nine-Cycle Fan Dance. He believes that his training in dance was what allowed him to become an amazing assassin and gives him his stealth and acrobatic ability. The con man who trained him also taught him that if it wasn't in a person's hand it was made to be taken. To Grail stealing and killing are a way of life and a necessary means for survival. As such he tries not to get overly attached to anyone and does his best to avoid women. Often, he claims that his one true love is Queprur the Goddess of Death, and that he can only stop loving her upon his death. This leads him to hum before he kills so that he can earn a couple more years to his human life span. He claims that by doing this he'll make his life longer than that of the people he kills.

This section reads well to me as well, perhaps consider breaking the paragraphs into shorter ones so that they appear to be less like walls of text.

Strengths

Acrobatics - From as far back as he can remember Grail was taught acrobatics by Selena Silhart. Selena was a former acrobat who was the only motherly figure that Grail had as a boy. His skills in acrobatics are such that he is easily able to balance himself on wires, hang upside down, flip, and spin. By using these abilities he is able to track targets from roof tops, clothes' lines, ceilings, and alley ways without being spotted. This also allows him to jump a great deal higher, and run faster by balancing on the balls of his feet allowing for a greater extension of the foot. This also gives his body a great deal of flexibility which gives him a powerful advantage against bigger and stronger opponents. By twisting his arm at the joints he can break almost any hold a person has on his arm, though this does cause his muscles to cramp.

Armoured Fan - As part of his dancing instruction, Grail was taught the use of fan. The fan itself is exceptionally light and as such it allows him to make quick decisive strikes. Being a master of the fan, he is able to easily manipulate the fan by opening it to increase the range at which he can cut, or close it to allow for stronger thrusts and jabs. Though the weapon is only good against unarmoured opponents, Grail favours it over his knife, and poisons. This leads him to practice on a near constant basis both in the early morning, and late into the evening. The fan itself wears easily and so he is constantly sharpening the blades to avoid rusting and dullness. In short, the fan is Grails favorite weapon though he rarely uses it in anything other than dancing and killing lightly armoured opponents. The fan is made all the more effective through the use of Grail's dexterous fingers making it a deadly weapon in his hands.

Poison - Grail has a strong understanding of poisons and their compositions. Though unable to make them himself he has a strong knowledge of how to apply them to a situation in the most effective way possible. A slight stinginess can be seen in Grail's use of poison as he avoids using too much of it. In conjunction with this knowledge, he is also able to recognize the various antidotes for poisons though again he cannot make them himself. Though he rarely uses this, he is still quite capable of applying his knowledge with deadly efficiency when necessary.

Dancer - Having been taught the arts of dance in Milkengrad, Grail makes use of his skills in dance whenever he carries out an assassination or robbery. By learning how to follow the steps of another he is able to mimic the way in which a person walks and can follow a person silently without alerting them to his presence in this way. This also allows him to walk without making noise by placing his feet quickly and carefully on the floor. In many ways this allows him to move about unseen or unnoticed as he makes little sound, and his small size allows him to move from place to place by slipping between people in complete silence. The manipulation of the fan in the Nine-Cycles Fan dance help to give the fingers on Grail's left hand an incredible dexterity allowing them to find hand holds quickly, and keep a strong grip on any object with the maximum thinness of a fan when closed.

Swift - Grail is extremely surefooted and is capable of moving about easily and quickly thanks to his size. He is easily able to sleep through even the most jam packed crowed by making use of various spaces, and general pushing and shoving. Out in the open, he is able to easily out run grown men, scouts, and city guards without exhausting himself. At a rough estimate Grail is able to run forty peds in four point five seconds, and can keep up this speed for five minutes at most. Having run away from various kinds of guards, merchants, and innkeepers for the vast majority of his life, Grail is a naturally talented sprinter.

Stealthy - Being just under the average height for his tribe, Grail's shortness gives him a powerful advantage when trying to hide or take cover. By curling up, crouching, or fitting himself into a cramped spot he is easily able to avoid being easily detected by targets, guards, or merchants. By using his small size, and lighting to his advantage he can hide in places that would be to awkward for someone of larger size and build. This also gives him a strong advantage over his targets as he can easily surprise attack and kill people who are physically stronger than he is. This talent becomes useless when on a battlefield or in head to head combat as it neutralizes the need to be lying in wait for an opponent.

Knowledge - As an informer one must have a strong knowledge of people and places. Grail is incredibly knowledgeable about the cities of Nyermersys and Milkengrad. This information allows him to easily traverse the streets without getting lost and helps him to get to around though outside of either city he is completely lost. In addition to this, Grail has a firm knowledge of the various thieves, rogues, criminals, scoundrels, assassins, noblemen, merchants, street folk, and innkeepers throughout both cities. He also has a small network of spies who are members of various groups, gangs, crews, and caravans.How small? All of his informers are usually servants or underlings who go unnoticed by the masses. In this way he is able to collect new, fresh and detailed information from almost anywhere. His informers also help him when selecting, and finding new targets that will fetch a high price amongst the various thieves and rogues of the cities.

Knife should be here as a strength as well

Weaknesses

Right Hand - Three fingers on Grail's right hand were made completely useless in a childhood accident involving his armoured fan. The pinkie and middle finger are completely rigged and are unable to move. The other finger is very badly severed and Grail has never given his hand time to heal. As such the finger in between his pinkie and middle finger bleeds when ever he grips something to tightly with his right hand. Though born right handed, the loss of his three fingers has forced him to become left handed. Though not completely healed, Grail still forces his right hand to do the same things that he does with his left hand in an attempt to be slightly macho. The blood that seeps from his fingers at times causes his hand to become extremely slick. This makes doing acrobatics, and holding his fan in a firm grip exceptionally hard.

Violent - "Never pick a fight against someone who is obviously stronger then you." The rule was beaten into Grail on several occasions, but the words themselves have had no effect on him. Even when clearly out matched and in trouble he has a way of picking fights with the toughest and meanest looking people he can find. Though Grail's talents lie in surprise attacks, when offended or picked on he is unwilling to back down from anything. As such he acts incredibly violent, and is liable to do more damage to himself than his opponent. As of yet he has managed to avoid taking serious injury and has escaped several brawls with only a bloody nose, torn lip, or bruised arm. Still, this need to constantly fight is bound to get him into trouble one day, and it is only a matter of time before someone teaches him a lesson.

Proud - Grail's sense of honor is twisted such that he can not bear to have his pride hurt. In this sense he shows his Centoraurian heritage as many have said that the tribe is prone to vanity in it's ranks. Though the child of a prostitute, Grail believes that more than heritage, his work should speak for itself. When his information is wrong, or when he is reminded of past failures, though rare, he becomes unreasonably upset. This of course pushes him to do things that would prove his worth including, jumping off a carriage at full speed, slapping a nobleman full in the face, destroying a merchants stall, and fighting the toughest looking orc in the nearest tavern head on. Though he usually get extremely beaten up and bloodied he will never admit to having any kind of fault in his line of work, and does what he can to keep such talk out of sight and out of the minds of those who employ him.

Gambler - After turning twenty this boy has managed to discover gambling. Grail is willing to gamble every single coin that he owns if he knows that it will earn him still more. Of course this only occurs if actually brought to or having come across a group that is gambling. Whether it's dice or cards, Grail is familiar with almost every possible game conceivable and if he doesn't know how to play that he is more than eager to learn. This also causes him to be exceptionally forward in all matters involving material wealth. To him, if a lady is wearing a pearl necklace about her neck then she is simply asking for it to be stolen. It is because of this habit with gambling that he remains lower middle class despite doing several high paying jobs. If asked about his behavior towards gambling he claims that spending money is more fun than just accumulating it.

Weak - By appearance he may seem to be a lean and mean street punk, but in truth our Grail is weak. When carrying out an assassination he is usually forced to kill his opponents quickly, but there are select individuals whom he is able to over power. In this way he is able to keep a grip on his reputation when his kills are viewed by other rogues and scoundrels. Though weak, Grail uses his cunning, knowledge and speed to out do his opponents. Naturally this isn't as effective when fighting at close range in one on one combat. The few people who are not dead that know that he is physically weak are usually members of Grail's spy network. Still fewer people actually mention this to him so as to avoid irking him. Anything heavier than four hebs is impossible for Grail to lift without the assistance of his other arm, and anything over six hebs is next to impossible for him to move by hand.

Respect - If you aren't a thief, con man, rogue, criminal, murderer, marauder, bandit, or some form of violent liar, Grail probably has no respect for you. If a person has no money, power, or influence then Grail has no respect for you. Authority figures, and do-gooders are not people who exist in Grail's thoughts. He believes that respect is something that needs to be earned and by accumulating material wealth or power a person has proof of how much he has achieved. Because he is himself a thief and assassin, Grail can appreciate any and all talents revolving around the killing, or robbing of an individual. People in authority are simply over fed fools who are too blind to see what is going on around them. If a person lacks intelligence or cunning then they are simply a person who can be used to further his own goals and ideas. If you want to have respect, the rule is you've got to earn it. As such he is liable to getting into strange arguments with soldiers, and noblemen simply to irk them. This of course leads to a great deal of fighting and usually results with Grail being unconscious in a gutter or water trough.

History

Born to a prostitute, and left out on the streets of Milkengrad to die, Grail knew from the moment he understood what was going on around him how alone he really was. It was by some cursed fate, that instead of dieing dying on the streets the Goddess of Death put him in the care of an alcoholic who picked him off the streets.

Leos Monarch was a former con man who had retired and turned to booze to take away his problems. On a whim he had picked up the crying baby and taken him home. When he had finally managed to sober up he realized that he now had a child in his possession. He realized that if he raised the boy properly, he would be able to make a fortune off the child's labours. It was with this though in mind that he began to take care of the boy, paying for a wet nurse to feed him, and clothing the babe in his own rags. Leos saw to it the babe was never malnourished, but made sure the boy's food was rationed. Having lived with an abusive alcoholic from birth, Grail's childhood memories are filled with the smell of spirits and the pain of loss. Locks were placed on the doors and windows, isolating the boy from the outside. He grew up in the hovel of a drunkard with no knowledge of the city just outside the walls of his home. Leos named the babe Grail after the name of his own father, and Grail would later make Monhart his last name by combining Leos' with his acrobatic instructors'.

At the age of five, Leos began to train Grail. In the morning Grail would do push ups and sit ups before breakfast. He would then eat a large breakfast before heading into the city. During this time Grail became curious about everything outside of his home, and tried his best to learn about the city as best he could. He would run laps throughout the city and try to remember names and the locations of various stalls and stores before returning to his Uncle Leos side for lunch. The money for food was earned on a daily basis by Grail, who at Leos command would beg or steal to obtain coins for their meal. The evenings were busily spent learning acrobatics from Selena Silhart, a former entertainer.

Selena was a motherly figure and though she never approved of Leos she did her best to feed the boy though all this she did in a hurry and in secrecy. Just before dinner, Leos would ask the boy questions pertaining to the location of streets, the art of thievery, how to lie, the location of various stalls and stores as well as the names of the various owners of different shops, and the names of various authority figures. If Grail failed to run laps before lunch, neglect to wake up on time, steal money for food, or answer the questions before dinner properly, he would beaten if Leos was drunk or told to do things over if he was sober. During the first three years of his training he would often go to bed tired and bruised from hours of working. Though he was mistreated, if Leos wasn't drunk the man could actually be nice and buy the boy treats or drinks for his good behaviour. Of course the majority of the time so drunk as to be unable to remember Grail's name and simply referred to him as "the boy."

Life was difficult for such a poor man and child, only made harder by the fact that Grail had to do almost everything to keep the two of them alive. During his runs through the town square he would meet other boys, and eventually managed to befriend one of them. A boy called Raul would come and run beside him at times to keep him company as he made his way around the city. The two were the best of friends, but their friendship lasted only a few short months. At the age of eight, Grail had become a surprisingly strong if not totally healthy young boy. Though he was weak physically, his mind was keen and he was an incredible sprinter. When it came to Leos' attention that the boy had been trying to make a friend, in place of running he forced the boy to join dance classes at the Grace of the Glitra. Though embarrassed at first he found that he truly loved dancing and began to share it's beauty with his Uncle Leos and Raul. It was at the Grace of the Glitra that he first began to use a fan, and fell in love with the story of Gerissa. It was around this time that Leos began to train Grail in the use of the armoured fan as a weapon. In conjunction with this, Uncle Leos taught him about various poisons and their antidotes.

Leos began to introduce Grail to thieves from all over Milkengrad. He would then have the boy steal from the best in the business so that Grail could learn how to steal through trial and error. All of this training was in preparation for the death of Raul. Several weeks after having joined the Grace of the Glitra, Leos located Raul in the poorer regions of town. By bounding the boy with a gag and covering his head with a face cloth, the old man convinced Grail to kill Raul. From that moment on Grail realized how truly evil Leos was and vowed vengeance for his only friend. For the next eight years he dedicated himself to his training, always pushing himself to become faster, and stronger so that he would finally be able to over power Leos. Grail dreamed of the day in which he would slit the man's throat, and it was this twisted dream that allowed him to endure all Leos' madness.

It was two years after the death of Raul that Grail's right hand became permanently crippled. In an attempt to kill Leos the boy tried to fight the former con man in single combat. During the fight, Grail dropped his fan and was easily defeated. As a lesson Leos cut the fingers of Grail's right hand at the middle joint. The fingers themselves were not completely severed and were still slightly attached to the hand. From his middle finger to pinky the fingers were severely damaged and from that day on had to be tightly bound and bandaged.

Without his right hand, Grail became significantly weaker though this did little to affect his drive to kill Leos. Despite the wound to his right hand, he quickly learned how to fight with his left hand. With age, Leos began to give the boy more freedom and let him roam the city for hours at a time. It was during these hours of rest that Grail would meet with servants, and thieves in order to build up his own network of informants. He joined the underground network of thieves to garner respect amongst the various rogues and criminals throughout the land. It was at the age of sixteen that Grail was first approached by a member of the criminal underground. Having retired early on from his career as a con man, Leos still had unsettled debts with some of his partners. As part of the deal Grail would be given the honor of killing Leos after the money had been extracted from him.

Grail lead Leos into an ambush several months later, and killed him before turning seventeen. It was at that moment that he realized that he had no one to turn to, and no place to go. He decided to become an assassin for hire, and made his living stealing from others. Having lived in Milkengrad the whole of his life, he decided to travel away from the city of his birth in favor of somewhere else. By leaving Milkengrad, Grail attempted to leave his former life behind and start a new. However, he never completely severed his connection to Milkengrad as he told his network to keep him informed of the going on's of the city. Eventually he arrived in Nyermersys, and began to put together a new network of spies. With his smarts, and cunning he was able to put his knowledge to good use by selling to to criminals who needed information on anything that had to do with Nyermersys or Milkengrad.

For the last eight years, Grail has lived in the city of Nyermersys buying and selling information to the highest bidder. He has garnered a strong reputation as a shrewd business man, and reliable source of information. In conjunction with his network, he is also hired on an irregular basis to carry out the assassination few various merchants or rich men. few doesn't seem to work in that last sentence to me. Would you consider 'of' in its place? In order to keep up with the inconsistencies of his job, Grail regularly goes out to steal and keep in shape by running from the city watch. Though he can be considered middle class he is still unsatisfied and is waiting for the job that will change his standing in life to come along. He claims that the reason he was born was so that he could help the Goddess of Death do her job, and so far killing is the only thing that has meaning in his hollowed life.

Weapons
Grail limits himself to three weapons that are only necessary for him to carry out his daily work. The first is a phial of poison that he rarely uses. In case he is asked to assassinate a target that is exceptionally strong or well guarded, he uses poison to avoid having confrontation. In this way he avoids running the risk of dying or being trampled by somebody larger than him.

The second weapon is a knife made of steel and set in a bone handle. The blade is worn from several years of use, and the area around the hilt has begun to rust slightly. The knife is a recent addition to Grail's arsenal and he uses it to pick locks, open windows, doors, and steal purses from people. In combat Grail uses his knife when fighting opponents who are wearing some form of metal armour, as the armoured fan cannot cut through metals or rock. I believe that the knife needs to be included as a strength in your strengths and weaknesses section as well, Grail.

The last and most well used weapon is his armoured fan. The fan itself is made out off a strong steel sheets, and on a daily basis Grail takes time to hone the edges of it. When performing a dance or when carrying out an assassination, he prefers to use his fan. The fan itself is a dark blue in color, and each sheet of steel has it's own floral pattern running vertically along it's length. In a fight the fan is Grail's weapon of choice as he is able to easily whip it about and can make concise and quick blows while pulling himself out of harms way.

Belongings
Semi - White Tunic
Semi - White Shirt
X2 Sashes of Xazure
Brown Leather Pants
Soft Toe Brown Leather Boots
Brown Leather Gloves
Armoured Fan
Knife with Bone Hilt
Phial of Poison
Pouch with Various Coins
Rucksack



All in all a good read, Grail, and it looks to me as though you should be close to approvals. I did notice in some places you had your CD centered and in other places it wasn't centered. Maybe consider just centering the headings only. We also use the English spellings of words like color etc here as opposed to the US spellings.

You obviously have done your research into the different aspects of your CD, well done.

Don't forget to colour your changes and ask if anything I say is unclear in any way.
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Seeking the truth, whatever the cost! - Deklitch Hardin, Elf Friend
Grail Monhart
Knowledgeable Knave
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Gender: Male
Posts: 15


Human, Centoraurian


« Reply #8 on: July 21, 2009, 06:47:36 AM »

Hey Dek, thanks for looking over my CD, much appreciated. I'd like to say right now that the knife is not as well known to Grail as it may appear, and I'm sorry for any confusion it may have caused. In truth the knife is simply something extra, and Grail can do the same things a peasant can do with a knife. So basically sticking people with the pointy end at best is idea that Grail employs when using a knife. Hope that helps, and thanks again for the comments. I've made all the corrects in red, and I'm ready for whatever else you guys have for me. grin
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"I don't know what you mean by love, but when you say kill it makes my heart throb."

_-_Centoraurian_-_ _-_ Grail Monhart_-_ _-_Queprur, Goddess of Death_-_
Grail Monhart
Knowledgeable Knave
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Human, Centoraurian


« Reply #9 on: July 25, 2009, 09:04:34 AM »

Well it's been another three days, and no comments yet again!! So this is a bump that will hopefully get the attention of various admins and/or mods on the site.

Bump!! :D
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"I don't know what you mean by love, but when you say kill it makes my heart throb."

_-_Centoraurian_-_ _-_ Grail Monhart_-_ _-_Queprur, Goddess of Death_-_
Valan Nonesuch
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Human, Erpheronian


« Reply #10 on: July 25, 2009, 10:26:59 AM »

Grail, please do use the "CDs in waiting" thread. Include a link to your CD and someone will see to it.
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Do not act incautiously when confronting little bald wrinkly smiling men!
Valan Nonesuch
Grail Monhart
Knowledgeable Knave
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Posts: 15


Human, Centoraurian


« Reply #11 on: July 26, 2009, 02:18:59 AM »

Thanks Valan, I'll do that again. :)
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"I don't know what you mean by love, but when you say kill it makes my heart throb."

_-_Centoraurian_-_ _-_ Grail Monhart_-_ _-_Queprur, Goddess of Death_-_
Kalína Dalá'isyrás
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High Elf, Kaýrrhem


« Reply #12 on: July 26, 2009, 11:14:41 AM »

Looks good to me. Sorry for taking so long in getting to it. :)

~First Approval~
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Insanity is only a perception made by those who have yet to attain its greatness. While those of us who have already stepped inside its bounds find bliss in our utter madness.
Nai'r en'Lina ar'Kaimel
Deklitch Hardin
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« Reply #13 on: July 26, 2009, 11:27:34 AM »

You addressed all my concerns, Grail from my previous review, so consider this your 2nd approval!

Congratulations!
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Seeking the truth, whatever the cost! - Deklitch Hardin, Elf Friend
Grail Monhart
Knowledgeable Knave
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 15


Human, Centoraurian


« Reply #14 on: July 26, 2009, 11:34:40 AM »

Hey Dek thanks so much, I didn't know that you'd just been moved up! You'll make a great CD mod!  :D Removing the color then.
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"I don't know what you mean by love, but when you say kill it makes my heart throb."

_-_Centoraurian_-_ _-_ Grail Monhart_-_ _-_Queprur, Goddess of Death_-_
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