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Author Topic: Lyth Elstrum.:Quaelhoirhim:.Eyashene/Healer and Herbalist  (Read 12052 times)
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Lyth Elstrum
So Danar fa Eya
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« Reply #15 on: August 23, 2009, 05:37:00 PM »

Point take. :( Oh well, I'll fix it tommorow.
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Lyth Elstrum
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« Reply #16 on: August 23, 2009, 05:40:23 PM »

Don't frown ... heart There are some amazingly interesting qualities to be said for Mindsmoothers. With the combination of healing herbs and available abilities, you have a great healer in the works here. Keep up the fantastic writing Lyth!
« Last Edit: August 23, 2009, 05:41:56 PM by Shen Caz'na » Logged
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« Reply #17 on: August 23, 2009, 05:42:14 PM »

Thanks :)
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Lyth Elstrum
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« Reply #18 on: August 23, 2009, 06:01:09 PM »

I'm curious as to whether or not you meant to spell her eye color at the beginning viloet. Is that a santharian word?

@Alex: It read that way on the colors section.

Lyth, If you take a look at the linked page named Colours and Hues of Santharia, the 6th colour on the list is spelled VIOLET not VILOET.

That is the only time it is on that page, and there is no spelling of viloet anywhere on that page. Please fix it up when you are making your other changes, Lyth.
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Lyth Elstrum
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« Reply #19 on: August 24, 2009, 04:06:28 AM »

Alright Shen, There ya go. A pacifistic mindsmoother/healer. :) I think I fixed it. If not, please let me know. :waving:
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Lyth Elstrum
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« Reply #20 on: August 24, 2009, 04:30:28 AM »

Dek,

Run your mouse over the digital image of the color and you'll see what I'm talking about. :)
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Lyth Elstrum
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« Reply #21 on: August 28, 2009, 04:32:19 AM »

Lyth, it may just be me, but you seem to have forgotten to colour the changes you may have made. Not really excusable given the errors mentioned by Shen and others. Please do so.
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Lyth Elstrum
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« Reply #22 on: August 28, 2009, 10:48:22 AM »

All done! All changes made in alluring teal. :)
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« Reply #23 on: August 30, 2009, 11:36:39 AM »

~Bumpishness~
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« Reply #24 on: August 31, 2009, 07:07:43 AM »

Ok, I'm not going to look at your mind smoothing bit, but there seems to be plenty of other things throughout the CD that can be fixed up and corrected. Requested changes in red. Suggestions/questions in blue.

Quote
Name: Lyth Elstrum

Age: 312

Age by appearance: 30

Age by knowledge and training: 40

Lifespan: 600

Gender: Female

Race: Elf

Tribe: Quaelhoirhim

Overview: A tall, slender elf whose mindset is bent on the healing of others. Lyth has done extensive studies on herbology and the art of healing, and has gone through the training of an Eyashene. She dresses in modest robes of white, and occasionally pale green. She hates to harm others and is completely devoted to Eyasha. She believes all life is sacred and she will only use violence as a last resort.The entry on the Eyashene clearly states that they are pacifist, as has previously been pointed out to you. Please fix this up.

Occupation: Mindsmoother/Healer and Herbalist

Title: So Danar fa Eya Whatever does this mean?

Height: 1 Ped, 2 Fores, and 6 Nailsbreadths

Weight: 1 Pygge, 2 Hebs, 1 Hafeb, and 2 Ods

Hair color: A medium shade of aldermarine brown

Eye color: A deep shade of santharian violet

Appearance: Lyth is rather short for a Quaelhoirhim elf, but has managed to maintain their slenderness. Her aldermarine brown hair, flowing down to the middle of her shoulder blades, crowns her oval-shaped head. A small portion of her hair forms one large braid, and it is always worn down. Her deep santharian violet (which was once again pointed out to you previously as a mistake eyes attract the attention of many, and seem to capture the sunlight, making them glimmer. Her sharp nose and high cheekbones have caused many men to regard her as exotic. Her full teki red lips, along with her eyes and other features, are nicely accenuated by her pale realm bage skin.

Her slender neck is in well proportion These last few words seem to be in the wrong order ... please change them. to her head, and has a minute amount of sun marks. Her shoulders are petite and she is not very muscular. The mindsmoother's breasts are well-developed and sag only slighlty. Her complexion, other than the sun marks, is flawless. Her small hands, attached to slender arms, are adorned by well manicured fingernails. Her slender, shapely legs are bottomed by small, petite feet. She has gotten comments from many men that she has a natural beauty about her, like she isn't trying to be beautiful, but she just is.

Dress: Lyth dresses very simply. She wears a somewhat dirty cy'hallowian snow robe that hangs down to her ankles. The sleeves hang open like most would imagine a wizard's attire, and go halfway down her forearm. Under her robe she wears a cloth covering on her breasts, and simple woolen undergarments. She wears a pendant depicting Eyasha's three clover symbol I believe you've also been told that you should be using the name of it from Santharia ... 'trinity herb' here ... please change it. It actually calls it the trinity herb in Eyasha's entry as well, colored green around her neck. She wears several beaded bracelets on each of her wrists, and will usually pick a flower to adorn her hair.

Personality: Lyth is peaceful by nature, and would never resort to any form of violence. She would never think of harming another creature. When attacked, this follower of Eyasha will not resort to violence. The healer will usually find a way to end the fight with her mindsmoothing, insteadand without any form of violence (this is at odds with part of your overview ... but this is correct, not your overview, another request here for you to change your overview). Lyth cannot stand anything that disrupts peace, for that is the center of her world. She is a very loving and kind person and hates to see any creature hurt, down to the tiniest insect. She is a firm believer that all life is sacred and should be cherished. Lyth heals people for this very reason. Sometimes, however, she can not resist creating a little mischief by slightly messing with people's emotions.

Lyth worships Ava, and the other twelve deities. The way that this reads to me, is that you're suggesting that Ava isone of the twelve ... that is not entirely correct, from my understanding. The twelve are quite separate to Ava. I'm fairly sure that there is Ava and then there is the twelve. However, she is most devoted to Eyasha. She is very peace oriented, and lives her life according to it. If ever she received a sign from Eyasha, she would commit to the task in a heartbeat. If anyone were to insult her religion, she would simply ignore them, and maybe show a little bit of a mischevious side, by messing with their emotions slightly, nothing serious.

Lyth is a fan of sad music, for it helps soothe the painful memories of her mother's death. She often wishes she could play a flute, or a lyre, so that she can heal more swiftly. She will often stop at many inns and bars so she may here such songs upon request.

Lyth will not turn anyone away that she finds, or that come to her for help. She believes all life is sacred and holds no petty grudges against any of the other races. She is somewhat wary of orcs, but this is only because of stories and she will heal them all the same.

Lyth, when healing, will only ask for what she needs to survive. She can well guage the income of others, and will charge accordingly. Sometimes, if she finds a particular family a or a person to be exceptionally poor, she will do a healing for almost nothing, and sometimes for free.

Strengths:

Mindsmoothing: Lyth is a powerful mindsmoother. Since a young age, she has shown great aptitude for her gift. She had a practical sense of it before too long, but she was still lacking much information. Now, she has undergone intense training and has a much more in depth control of her ability. With this gift, she is able to soothe her patients while she treats them, to prevent or minimize any pain. She has found that she can produce a feeling of numbness within them, greatly aiding her in surgery. She has found that, in a battle, she can soothe her enemies quickly, given enough time, and can usually avoid conflict. She has learned to harness and control her mindlashes, but she would never use them against any living creature. Ever. Instead of blocking the unyielding flow of emotions she receives, she has learned to discern them from her own, creating a wall of sorts between them. She can use this to see if trouble is close.

Extensive knowledge of herbs and healing: Lyth sought out someone who could teach her the arts of healing and herbology. After years of studying under her, she has gained an extensive knowledge of herbs, treating wounds, and surgery. This, accompanied by her mindsmoothing, makes her a highly adept healer, and she can save many lives. If ever she is injured, there is a good chance that she will be able to heal herself.

Literate: From the one she learned healing from, Lyth also learned to read and to write. This gives her an advantage over most, and she can continue her studies on healing, by reading texts. She can also write letters to her literate father, to make sure he is well. This also makes finding patients easier, as she can read ads for those who need healing.

Dagger: Lyth has a dagger with a ruby embedded in the hilt that belonged to her mother. She would never use it for violence, but instead it has great sentimental value, and it gives her strength. It is a reassuring artifact that makes her feel like part of her mother is still with her in the dagger. I don't believe you need to include the dagger as a strength as she doesn't use it as a weapon.

Weaknesses:

Fragile: With her thin frame, the mindsmoother is easily hurt or broken. If ever she was attacked by an orcen club, a dwarven war hammer, or a similarly large object, she would surely be half-dead. She also, given the need, could never lift a heavy sword to defend herself.

Indecision: Lyth usually has trouble deciding what to do in most situations. This makes her an easy target for most in a fight. She has an inner turmoil, praying to Eyasha to send her a sign, telling her what needs to be done. She usually does not receive such a sign, and must make her own choices. This can lead her to put her life above her attacker's, thinking only of the countless other lives that she can save and improve. However, this will put her in a state of despair, in which she will not heal. This can put her behind in money, and she will have no food, which will put her in a weakened state and she may become ill.

Fear of snakes: Lyth is completely and utterly terrified of snakes. If she even thinks she sees one, she will immediately start shrieking and panicking. They can also leave her paralyzed with fear. This can leave her vunerable to attack and unable to defend herself. People can also exploit this weakness. If one would have a grudge against her, they would simply have to pull out a snake of any form, even something fitted to look like a snake, and it would leave her comepletely vunerable.

Moon cycles: Lyth has horrible moon cycles. They leave her with intense cramps and pains that leave her crippled for a few days. She can usually prescribe an herb for herself that can help the pain, but it usually does little to ease it. She can fall behind in her money and she will become ill easily. She is also vulnerable to attack at this time. She usually may need somewhere secret to hide out, or someone she trusts that can protect her.

                                                            Mindsmoothing
Rather than using spaces, you should use the 'centered' button above to center your headings. As I've said, I'm not going to look at this section outside of that comment on your heading.

Lyth is a powerful mindsmoother. From the young age of nine, she has shown a great aptitude for the ability.

First and foremost of her abilities, is to absorb the constant flow of emotions she gets from every living being, and to discern them from her own. She keeps a mental barrier of sorts around her emotions, allowing for them to not become intermingled with those of others. This will allow her an advantage over others in the ability to tell them what they want to hear, as she can discern what emotions are brought out by certain words. Also, she can sense if there are any with hostility toward her in the area. Finally, this aspect of her gift allows her to determine the severity of an injury, by homing in on the amount of pain they are feeling.

Second, is her ability to alter and soothe emotions. If she is unable to soothe someone's anger toward her in time, for example, she finds it easier to simply divert their anger to something else. All she is doing is slightly altering the emotion instead of introdicing a completely new one. She finds that she can project an emotion over a large area. However, it will usually only affect those with a weak mind, or those without a passion. For stronger minds, she usually must greatly reduce the area that her mind touches, or focus on them individually if they are exceptionally strong. She finds that all will eventually succumb to her will, some just take longer than others. She finds that her influence over someone is stronger when her gaze is upon them, stronger still when she has eye contact, and at its peak when she is in physical contact with them. Her most common use of this, is to use her talent as an anesthetic, producing a numbing emotion so that her patients will feel no pain when she operates.

Lyth has learned how to prevent her midlashes. She actually specializes in healing these types of damage to the mind. If she wanted to, she could completely destroy someone's mind. Thankfullly, she is strongly pacifist and would never use her gift in such a violent way. Her ability to heal these rifts is extensive, as her teacher was an exceptionally knowledgable mindsmoother. She simply assess what has been done to mangle one's mind, and simply reverses the affects. She takes great pleasure in curing insanity and blindness. This is, by far her strongest ability, making her a very invaluable Eyashene.


Perhaps the most difficult ablilty for her to accomplish, is hypnosis. She is still practicing that art and it usually takes her ten to fifteen minutes before she can soothe someone to sleep. When she truly masters this ablility, she thinks it will be helpful in ending conflicts quickly, curing insomnia, and during surgery when she must concentrate intensely, instead of using a sleeping herb.

History:

On the fifth day of the rising sun, a lithe infant, smaller than all of the others in the Quaelhoirhim tribe, was born to Auon and Avath Elstrum. The instant Lyth was born, a strong gale blew through the house, even though all of the windows and the door were firmly shut. The wind continued to blow, disrupting papers and even knocking down chairs. Then, while the wind continued, the voice of a woman spoke in the minds of Auon and Avath, saying, "This is my child whom I love, and whom I have chosen to do great things. She is my beloved, and as such, you shall name her...Lyth." By this time the voice and the wind had died down. Lyth's parents were overjoyed that their daughter had been chosen by the gods, and did as they were asked, naming her Lyth.

One day, as Lyth ran giggling through her village, some older elfs, only slightly older than herself at the elven age of nine, jumped her and pushed her down. She was completely terrified, and the next thing she knew, both boys were on the ground screaming in pain. Several elves ran over to them, not knowing what to make of the little girl, and the boys screaming in pain. Lyth just sat and stared as the elves sent for the local healer, who happened to be an Eyashene. When he arrived, he realized immediately that they were the the victims of a mindlash. He quickly repaired the damage to their psyche, but they may take some time to fully heal. He then probed for the source of the mindlash. The only one who was terrified was...the little girl. He recognized her immediately as a mindsmoother, and noted to watch her until the time was right. Unless I'm missing something here, she seems to be a bit young to be an adolescent ... As I read it ... the boys are 9 and she is slightly younger than that ... 7 or 8. Maybe up her age slightly to make the link to her being in adolescence stronger. So, he did nothing more at this stage than simply watch? What about the risk of her doing more damage to others during this time?

When Lyth was seventeen years old, the Eyashene came to her and her parent's house. He explained to them what Lyth was and they agreed to let him take her under his wing. She moved into his mansion the following day, not knowing what to expect. She was given a room of her own and treated like an honored guest. Do elves have mansions? Also, what is the name of the mindsmoother?

Lyth stayed with him for nine years, learning how to control her mindsmoothing abilities. After she had completed this training, he deemed that she had enough control over her abilities that she could be trusted on her own. He said that she was exceptionally powerful, and that she should continue to practice her skills. That night, her last night in his mansion, she had a dream. In her dream, was walking through a mist-filled garden.

Suddenly, a woman with pale skin and dark hair, wearing a white dress appeared before her. She spoke, "Lyth, you are my daughter, whom I love. I have chosen you to do great things. You are to travel Caelereth, spreading peace and healing in your wake." After saying this she stepped forward and caressed her cheek. Then, she spoke again, "Travel to the midway point between the dwellings of your people and that of the Tethinrhim. There you will find a healer, who will teach you. Learn from her, then do as I have asked." With that she walked through the mist and disappeared from view. Her voice echoed back, seeming to come from everywhere, saying, "Remember, I love you my daughter, and I am always with you. Your are my servant in this world, my hand, the hand of peace. I am Eyasha, godess of peace."

Then dream dissipated, and Lyth continued on in a dreamless sleep. The following day, she returned home with her bag packed. She explained to her parents about her dream, and they understood. Somehow, they knew that this day would come. After a few tears, and a million goodbyes, Lyth set off to the place that Eyasha had described.

Once Lyth had arrived there, she found a small cottage with smoke rising from the chimney. She went to the door to knock, but before she could answer it, an old woman opened it. "You were sent by Eyasha." She stated, not questioned. "Yes." Lyth replied in a hesitant, soft voice. "Come child, it is time for dinner, and I have much to teach you." With that, she lead Lyth inside and shut the door.

Lyth stayed with the woman, whom she learned was named Khana, for thirty years. She learned much from her, from surgery, to preparing many herbs. She learned how to identify herbs, and the woman happened to be a lesser mindsmoother, and taught her how to apply her ability to healing. The woman also taught her her own special ways of mixing certain herbs together to get certain results that most do not know of. While there, she received a letter from her father stating that her mother had passed away, and with it, came a silver dagger with a ruby embedded in the hilt that belonged to her mother. Being taught literacy by the woman, she was able to read it. She despaired for several days, recovering quickly from the consolations of the woman.

After the thirty years, Lyth left the home of the woman and set off to perform her service to the world, to Eyasha, and to herself. While on the road, she was attacked by a highway man. She tried to soothe him, but he was advancing fast and he had a strong mind. He was about to stab her with his dagger. She altered his anger, and made him attack a tree. While he was trying to pry the dagger from the tree, Lyth quickly fled the area, and vowed to avoid conflict whenever possible.

Lyth still heals today, traveling Sarvonia in search of those who need her. She never forgets that Eyasha is with her. She is Eyasha's hand, The Hand of Peace.

Possessions:

Herbs:
25 Alrik'ran roots
25 Alth'mon leaves This plant is grown ONLY in Northern Sarvonia. Your elf's tribe is from Southern Sarvonia. If you want to include this, you need to include in your history that she has travelled to Northern Sarvonia. Even if she has these leaves, however, she wouldn't be able to grow more in Southern Sarvonia, due to the climate. There would also be the issue of travelling time to Northern Sarvonia to get it ... it is a lot more dangerous up there than in Southern Sarvonia.
A flask of Bladeleaf gel
25 Canelvous leaves(stolen from the elverground near her home) (Why would she steal them? It seems to me to be at odds with the rest of her personality)
10 Dreamer's breath flowers
20 Juk'lan clippings The same comments I made regarding the Alth'mon leaves applies to these as well.
40 Miyu beans
10 Miyuestiac leaves
Odea moss
A flask of oil from trinity leaves
5 Trinity roots
10 Dried Yahrle plants
Other:
Cloth sacks in which all of the herbs are kept
1 Spare faded light green robe
Coin purse
Small cooking pot
Necklace with the symbol of Eyasha
Various beaded bracelets
Small knife(used for preperation of herbs, not for combat)
3 Water Flasks
Leather container for food
Dagger with a ruby in the hilt
A surgery kit with various knives and tools, rolled up and wrapped in sack cloth
A leather satchel in which she keeps these things

The biggest thing for me is with some of the herbs. Two of them are native to Northern Sarvonia, not Southern Sarvonia, they are two different continents and the travel to get them would hardly make getting just 25 of each a worthwhile time investment. Those two plants need climates cooler than that offered in Southern Sarvonia to grow successfully, so seeds can't be brought back to Southern Sarvonia to be grown. I think that most of what you have here looks pretty good though, your strengths and weaknesses seem to be written well at this stage of this character's development.

There were also some occasions in which you used 'this' a bit too often for my liking ... nothig to stop approvals, but you might like to try some different words ... and also you didn't quite integrate all previous comments in one or two places.

Best of luck for a speedy approval, and I hope someone comes by soon to take a look at your mind soothing section for you.
« Last Edit: August 31, 2009, 08:47:13 AM by Deklitch Hardin » Logged

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Lyth Elstrum
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« Reply #25 on: September 01, 2009, 11:47:07 AM »

Ok, I think I fixed everything :). If not, please let me know. Thanks for the comments!

EDIT: To answer some of your questions Dek, her title means 'The Hand of Peace', and I'm not sure if elves have mansions, but I took it out anyway to save some headache. Hope that sates your curiosity! grin
« Last Edit: September 01, 2009, 11:51:22 AM by Lyth Elstrum » Logged

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« Reply #26 on: September 04, 2009, 10:30:50 AM »

Okidoki. 'Tis me again. Been about three days. If someone could take a look, I'd appreciate. I give cookies....You know you want to. ;) Lol, but seriously, I understand business. I am in that time period as well. Take your time. *Mindsmoothes them into doing it anyway* :P

~Bumpishness~
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« Reply #27 on: September 06, 2009, 01:53:40 AM »

I love the Mindsmoother aspect. Not many of these types of healers about. You did a fine job writing one, I think.

My comment is about the dream she had. Last I understood, dreams or visions from a deity were supposed to be vague and mysterious. In other words, direct communication from a deity wouldn't necessarily happen. The dream perhaps, but the vision of the woman could be interpreted differently. Some would say its Eyasha, while others would say its just a mysterious woman. Direct visions from a goddess would make you a prophet or chosen vessel of some kind, and while that may be possible, its not something that happens to just anyone.

I would suggest maybe being a bit more vague with the dream and interpretation and not directly saying its from Eyasha herself. Overall, a lovely CD!  Thumb up
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« Reply #28 on: September 06, 2009, 02:03:44 AM »

Thankyou! :) I think I understand what you're getting at about the dream. I shall make it more vague as you have requested. So should I just not mention that it was from Eyasha? I got my ideas from Eleyr's CD, and his vision is fashioned in much the same way. Also, you approve of my Mindsmoothing section?
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Lyth Elstrum
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« Reply #29 on: September 06, 2009, 03:07:40 AM »

Ok, I think I have succeeded in making the dream more vague. There is no reference to Eyasha directly. Hoping for more comments, and/or approvals!:) *Gives Azh cookies* There's more where those came from for those who comment! ;)
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"I am Eyasha's servant. I am The Hand of Peace."

Lyth Elstrum
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