* 
Welcome Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?


*
gfxgfx Home Forum Help Search Calendar Login Register   gfxgfx
gfx gfx
gfx
Embed Maximize


Newbies, read these!

Character Creation
FAQs
Restrictions

Main Site
Portraits
Rules
Story Creation
Racial Crossbreeding
Magic

Contact
Tips and Tricks
IRC Chat
Measures Converter
Elven Aging Calculator

- THE CD FORUM POSTICON SYSTEM -

Below is a summary on the posticons used for the character description approval process. The posticon of the first post should always be edited according to the current state of completion of the character description (either by the player, a Moderator or an Administrator).
1) PLAYER - CD is incomplete. Use this posticon if you have not finished your CD. 4) MODERATOR - CD has been approved by one moderator. A second mod's approval is needed.
2) PLAYER - CD is completed. Use this if you have finished working on your CD. 5) MODERATOR - CD has been approved by two moderators. An Administrator should soon take care of the titling.
3) MODERATOR - An expert's opinion is needed. The specific field in which the expert's help is needed should be added to the title. 6) ADMINISTRATOR - An administrator has titled the character, and the thread will soon be moved to the CD Archives.
Pages: 1 2 [3]   Go Down
Print
Author Topic: Ylaya/Cor'hm Elf/Agent of Foul Craft  (Read 9101 times)
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
Azhira Styralias
Shamaness
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 1176


Half-elf, Aellenrhim/ Erpheronian


« Reply #30 on: October 07, 2009, 09:54:44 PM »

Ok...the foot weakness still doesn't seem to work. With that, you are no longer agile and become crippled. It defeats the purpose.

Let's walk through this one at a time.


Strengths:

Attractive/Image: Ylaya will often use her physical charms as a lure in aid of manipulation or satisfaction. Many men often feel intoxicated by her very presence and this can give her an advantage immediately.  In the end these characteristics and skills help her carry out assassinations, covert operations and sabotage. Those who fall prey to her fatal attraction such as brave heroes have always ended up regretting that they ever gazed upon a Cor'hm Elf. Though, it should be noted not all men fall for her sex appeal.

(Ok, you're very pretty. This is a fine strength and you use it to your advantage. HOWEVER, you should know that dark elves are generally not trusted by most races - especially other elves! So no matter how pretty you are, you will still be viewed as an enemy to many people. In fact, make that a weakness!)

Persuasion: Ylaya has often saved herself trouble in the past through the art of persuasion and her ability to play the innocent character has meant she has gone under the radar of potential enemies. For instance, she can cry if she needs to look sad, look innocent in the face of someone more powerful and do whatever is necessary to win. Her kiss is also one of her deadliest charms and some men have been known to even cry out after such an event has occured. Even when captured, Ylaya has been known to turn the eyes of a warlord or barbarian and make him release her. She will also lie if it helps her to persuade someone.

(Ok, you are persuasive and have a golden tongue. In fact, I would combine this strength with manipulative. Call it "Wicked Tongue" or "Golden Speech" as a general catch all term for your keen abilities of speech.)

Speed/Excellent Form: Ylaya is not just a pretty devious face, she can move like lightning and can overcome opponents of brute strength by simply being one step ahead. She especially likes to get behind people when it comes to combat and will fly through the air by leaping or using acrobatics to do do. Ever since her training began she was fast and in many situations when facing heavy armoured warriors she would be out of their vision and on top of them within seconds. She would then either snap their neck or thrust something sharp in there. Her agility makes her a formidably opponent for a short period of time, after about 10 minutes her speed will gradually decrease.

(I would call this strength Agility. Also, make sure you mention in your history of your training in this area. Most elves are agile and quick, its a racial trait (and makes you above most peasants) and thus can count.)

Manipulative/Decisive: Although she may not seem like someone who thinks alot through when observing her actions, she is always looking for the better deal and the one with the most power. Her plans are often hidden from anyones view and her scheming is never ending. Manipulation to her can be anything from sexual to holding someone hostage, she can be very seductive when it suits her. If she finds someone she dislikes and wants to get rid of quickly she may just slip a snake in the bed at night. She can go to any lengths for that risk factor she seems to desire. <---- REMOVE, see comment above.

Blade Skill: Behind Ylaya's pretty face and attractive wardrobe there is usually a dagger or two hidden from sight. From the moment she picked up some of her first short blades she began to make them flow like an artist's brush. She makes her curved jagged blades move like a painter's brush stroke. In combat she often will slice the legs of her opponent until the skin peels off. Combined with agility she can make assassinations an art form and the precision of her blade is often very good. However, still being young she has alot more to learn and sometimes she can get carried away and lose her footing. Her training was not entirely complete before she left her village, but it helps her complete her occupation to a very good standard. Though, whilst in combat Ylaya usually has to be close to her opponent to do the damage necassary and her dagger relie on being close to the enemy to be effective. If Ylaya is not close enough, her attacks may be stopped in there tracks.

(Blade skill is a fine strength. Mention your training in the history. No further issues here.)

Individuality/Lack of Honour/Selfishness: She has always looked after herself and in many situations this has saved her in the past. She may love someone for a while, but once they run out of usefulness she will just discard them into the wind. Furthermore, like a lover, she will usually side with both sides in a conflict and once victory is assured on one side the other will be abandoned. This allows her to make the choices and gives her a sense of control. <---- Remove.

(This is vague and doesn't make sense as a strength. I think I understand what you mean, but this could be made into a weakness instead.)

 Weaknesses:

Inferiority complex: Ylaya will always have a problem with being beaten or outperformed either in love, conflict or perception. When unmistakably beaten she might lose her confidence or become even more ruthless. Yet few occasions have arrived where she has been beaten making her confidence a curse as much as it is a blessing. Failure may not be an option and this was instilled in her training.

(This weakness can instead become Perfectionist. You are obsessed with winning, being right, being the top dog. You constantly worry about being beaten and becoming second best. Failure is not an option. So much so, that it drives you to take otherwise unnecessary risks that endanger you.)

Overconfident: Her recent successes have made her very overconfident and she has not learnt much since she left home in reality. Her training has become more and more dilluted over the time she has spent around the average commoner. She has become partly obsessed with her own skills and has not yet been brought down to earth with the limits of her skill. This overconfidence has made her arrogant and sometimes self-obsessive.

(You are attractive, cunning and agile. Of course, overconfidence is going to happen. Much like being a perfectionist, you tend to take risks you wouldn't otherwise take. And it gets you in trouble!)

Looks are everything to her: Without her beauty she feels insecure and helpless. Without her image that she has built up she will lose confidence with her mastery of the blade. Yet her image is the thing she will always protect and use against the enemy. It is one of her most powerful tools and is used, never abused, yet. It could be argured that she is squeamish of dirt, vomit or anything that is messy which effects her image. <---- REMOVE. This weakness is very superficial and doesn't really count.

Wounded right foot: During her scuffle in her home village as everyone seemed to bring down all their hatred on her, her foot was badly hurt. It was an injury that would return on a weekly basis from that point on. After all, it was partly crushed in a unique way, so it would never heal. From the outside it looks fine, but when the pain returns every week due to the damage it must be treated through stretching it and relaxing or else it can immobilize her. Such a healing activity can take about an hour and if not done every week this can increase the length that the pain remains making it hard for her to move or achieve anything. This is one of her most crucial weak spots and a physical disability that will never heal. <---- REMOVE. This conflicts with your appearance/agility strengths and there is no real reason to have it.

Anxiety: Although cool and calculating most of the time Ylaya is still a very anxious individual undernearth all her weapons and thigh heeled boots. This may have been triggered by her father's rejection of her or the thought that she is not in control of a situation. In the event that anxiety comes forward she often loses breath and fatigue kicks in reducing her to not even being able to walk. <---- REMOVE. This ties into your perfectionist/overconfidence issues. Not needed here.

(Recommended weaknesses:

RACE - Now, one major weakness you'll have as I mentioned above is your race. The fact that you are a dark elf makes you an enemy to many other races, especially other elves. And, in a story, you'll come into contact with others. Most likely, if you are seen, you will become a BIG target. My own dark elf must remain hidden or else she risks being killed on sight. That makes it fun to play an assassin type, but also limits my ability to interact with others.

LANGUAGE - You are from Nybelmar, and a Coor'hem, where the standard Santharian language is not spoken or taught (called Tharian). Thus, not knowing how to speak to most people is a major weakness. You'll have to figure out how to do this. And, don't try to add it as a strength as it would make no sense for a Coor'hem to learn Tharian nor would anyone even teach her (she's an evil dark elf!) You know the elven tongue, Styrash, and can only speak to elves (but who is going to talk to a dark elf? You're evil!!)

Add those weaknesses and I can give you a first approval.
Logged

"Be still and I shall calm your mind and mend your broken body."
Ylaya
Temptress
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Posts: 883


Elf, Cor'hm


« Reply #31 on: October 08, 2009, 10:39:09 PM »

Ok, I have made the nessassary changes.
Logged

Azhira Styralias
Shamaness
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 1176


Half-elf, Aellenrhim/ Erpheronian


« Reply #32 on: October 08, 2009, 10:50:06 PM »

Yup, much better balanced now.  Thumb up

First Approval  Pet
Logged

"Be still and I shall calm your mind and mend your broken body."
Ylaya
Temptress
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Posts: 883


Elf, Cor'hm


« Reply #33 on: October 09, 2009, 03:43:41 AM »

Awhh, thanks. One more!  grin
Logged

Deklitch Hardin
Truth Seeker
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 1536


Human, Erpheronian


« Reply #34 on: October 09, 2009, 03:56:24 AM »

You addressed all of Azhira's comments, and I see nothing wrong with it either.

So, I am pleased to give you your 2nd approvalPet Thumb up Number 1 clap

Now then, if you could remove the unneeded colours from your CD, Kalina/Alt will get it archived for you.

Congrats
Logged

Seeking the truth, whatever the cost! - Deklitch Hardin, Elf Friend
Ylaya
Temptress
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Posts: 883


Elf, Cor'hm


« Reply #35 on: October 09, 2009, 04:11:06 AM »

All colours removed.  :)
Logged

Kalna Dal'isyrs
Dal'isyrs
Mini-mod
***
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 12803


High Elf, Karrhem


« Reply #36 on: October 09, 2009, 06:00:56 AM »

Titled and Archived.
Logged

Insanity is only a perception made by those who have yet to attain its greatness. While those of us who have already stepped inside its bounds find bliss in our utter madness.
Nai'r en'Lina ar'Kaimel
Alexandre Scriabin
Music Adept
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Posts: 1376


Human, Erpheronian/ Rhulran


« Reply #37 on: November 15, 2010, 08:09:31 AM »

I've brought this back from the archives, just as you requested.

Edit: Your status has been changed to comments welcomed. So, everyone knows now that it is up for commenting again.
« Last Edit: November 15, 2010, 08:12:02 AM by Alexandre Scriabin » Logged

The statement below this is false.
The statement above this is true.

Alexandre Scriabin CD
Ylaya
Temptress
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Posts: 883


Elf, Cor'hm


« Reply #38 on: November 17, 2010, 09:40:34 AM »

Thanks Scriabin. Well it's ready for comments and hopeful reapproval.
Logged

Alexandre Scriabin
Music Adept
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Posts: 1376


Human, Erpheronian/ Rhulran


« Reply #39 on: November 17, 2010, 11:09:23 AM »

I'm sorry, but I wasn't part of your initial titling process, so I don't know what it is you've changed. Please color the changes you have made, my friend.
Logged

The statement below this is false.
The statement above this is true.

Alexandre Scriabin CD
Ylaya
Temptress
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Posts: 883


Elf, Cor'hm


« Reply #40 on: November 17, 2010, 10:10:22 PM »

I'm sorry, but I wasn't part of your initial titling process, so I don't know what it is you've changed. Please color the changes you have made, my friend.

Done, the few changes I have made are in Navy.
Logged

Alexandre Scriabin
Music Adept
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Posts: 1376


Human, Erpheronian/ Rhulran


« Reply #41 on: November 18, 2010, 05:17:45 AM »

The changes are pretty minor, so I think we still have the same Ylava here. You have my approval.
Logged

The statement below this is false.
The statement above this is true.

Alexandre Scriabin CD
Kalna Dal'isyrs
Dal'isyrs
Mini-mod
***
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 12803


High Elf, Karrhem


« Reply #42 on: November 18, 2010, 11:00:27 AM »

Quote
Under her semi-skirt she wears a pair of tight black armoured stockings that go from her feet to half way up her thighs and they are strapped light to her legs.

I think you meant 'tight'.

Other than some sporadic spelling and grammar errors, I think the current adjustments are find.
Logged

Insanity is only a perception made by those who have yet to attain its greatness. While those of us who have already stepped inside its bounds find bliss in our utter madness.
Nai'r en'Lina ar'Kaimel
Ylaya
Temptress
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Posts: 883


Elf, Cor'hm


« Reply #43 on: November 18, 2010, 11:13:09 AM »

Quote
Under her semi-skirt she wears a pair of tight black armoured stockings that go from her feet to half way up her thighs and they are strapped light to her legs.

I think you meant 'tight'.

Other than some sporadic spelling and grammar errors, I think the current adjustments are find.

Yes, that was what I meant, error corrected.
Logged

Pages: 1 2 [3]   Go Up
Print
Jump to:  

Recent Posts
[March 19, 2020, 03:47:44 AM]

[July 23, 2019, 07:02:29 PM]

[July 23, 2019, 07:02:23 PM]

[August 01, 2018, 03:13:13 PM]

[June 19, 2018, 12:49:51 PM]

[April 28, 2018, 03:44:22 AM]

[April 13, 2018, 06:36:29 AM]

[April 10, 2018, 08:32:04 PM]

[March 09, 2018, 05:45:59 PM]

[February 13, 2018, 12:19:59 PM]
Members
Total Members: 2841
Latest: Hafontty
Stats
Total Posts: 214555
Total Topics: 8050
Online Today: 15
Online Ever: 216
(November 30, 2006, 09:08:03 AM)
Users Online
Users: 0
Guests: 15
Total: 15

Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2005, Simple Machines
TinyPortal v0.9.8 © Bloc
Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!
Theme based on Cerberus with Risen adjustments by Bloc and Krelia
Modified By Artimidor for The Santharian Dream
gfx
gfxgfx gfxgfx