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- THE CD FORUM POSTICON SYSTEM -

Below is a summary on the posticons used for the character description approval process. The posticon of the first post should always be edited according to the current state of completion of the character description (either by the player, a Moderator or an Administrator).
1) PLAYER - CD is incomplete. Use this posticon if you have not finished your CD. 4) MODERATOR - CD has been approved by one moderator. A second mod's approval is needed.
2) PLAYER - CD is completed. Use this if you have finished working on your CD. 5) MODERATOR - CD has been approved by two moderators. An Administrator should soon take care of the titling.
3) MODERATOR - An expert's opinion is needed. The specific field in which the expert's help is needed should be added to the title. 6) ADMINISTRATOR - An administrator has titled the character, and the thread will soon be moved to the CD Archives.
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Author Topic: Ylaya/Cor'hm Elf/Agent of Foul Craft  (Read 8617 times)
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Rookie Brownbark
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Brownie, Llaoihrr


« Reply #15 on: October 05, 2009, 05:44:44 AM »

To add to what Valan said - most of your weaknesses will never actually come about, you even say this in your descriptions of them.  Therefore they barely count against a strength she uses constantly/daily.  You can still do your ninja leaping-slashing thing too....which would just beat any normal enemy in two seconds.  This worries me :P  I would put the short distance thing into your blade strength - it limits a strength rather than being a weakness itself.  If that makes sense?

Apologies for my bluntness - I really like your writing, and would love to see this character in play.  I'm far less blunt to people who have a long way to go ;). It's just this character won't quite work on this site yet - needs a bit of tweaking.
« Last Edit: October 05, 2009, 05:50:20 AM by Rookie Brownbark » Logged

Ylaya
Temptress
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Elf, Cor'hm


« Reply #16 on: October 05, 2009, 05:51:36 AM »

Right, got you. Wait, I thought there was not much fighting anyway in stories? Besides, Ylaya does not really get into brawls so I doubt blades are used often in every single post. Besides, I like seeing my character lose sometimes or suffer a bit, I will control her limited power, don't worry about that.

Ok, so what strengths should I remove? The crossbow?
« Last Edit: October 05, 2009, 05:54:40 AM by Ylaya » Logged

Sylvia Palinor
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« Reply #17 on: October 05, 2009, 06:19:58 AM »

That is really up to you. Like I said, a physical injury is really the "cure-all" for most unbalanced characters. You could also try a mental illness, such as paranoia or hysteria. Just some thoughts.

@Rookie: It's ok, when you're not a mod, people tend to over-look you. grin
« Last Edit: October 05, 2009, 06:21:27 AM by Sylvia Palinor » Logged

"Sympathy is a luxury I simply cannot afford, for in the death of others do I make my living."

Sylvia Palinor
Valan Nonesuch
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« Reply #18 on: October 05, 2009, 06:43:01 AM »

Ylaya, that isn't the point. The character will be balanced, regardless of the situations that may occur. Someone may eventually put out a story that involves fighting.

As for which strengths you remove, the mods are not here to do your work for you. Suggestions have been made, I suggest you follow them.

Do you understand?
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Do not act incautiously when confronting little bald wrinkly smiling men!
Valan Nonesuch
Azhira Styralias
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« Reply #19 on: October 05, 2009, 11:02:19 AM »

Ok, I had a chance to read this over...and I agree its very unbalanced.

1. Your strengths are all extraordinary with weaknesses that may hinder you, and may not. In many situations, your strengths will be an advantage, but your weaknesses hardly count for alot. Weaknesses hinder you most all the time, not just certain times when your ego gets damaged. And jealousy is not a weakness that balances superb blade and crossbow skill.

2. You need to change either your weaknesses or your strengths for balance. First, if you keep your strengths, you'll need to revise your weaknesses or make new ones that are very detrimental to you and/or your skills.

3. If you keep your weaknesses as they are, you'll need to remove some strengths. For example, you mention bow and poison skills, and later in the history section, mention being able to survive in the wilds. I would remove ALL of those. Being attractive, agile and skilled with blades are all typical Coor'hem traits that are fine to have (my own Coor'hem character has similar skills, but I am balanced with very powerful weaknesses that I must overcome on a daily basis or I'd die!)

4. I see no mention in your history of how you were trained in all of your skills. How did you become an assassin? Who trained you? Your history covers a few events in your life, but never explains your training or how your weaknesses came about. One of the things about writing CDs is explaining your story, not giving yourself strengths and not expecting to explain them somehow. For example, all mage character CDs are expected to explain how they learned their magic. Its part of showing the CD Mods that you understand how the process of playing in this fantasy world works.

There are many other good balanced CDs that can perhaps help you. Search through the archives to get some ideas (but don't steal them!). Disease, physical ailments, bad habits, mental disorders (not jealousy!) and addictions are but a few that myself and others have used. Remember, they must be REAL weaknesses, not superficial ones.

Good luck! I'll be watching.  ;)
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"Be still and I shall calm your mind and mend your broken body."
Ylaya
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Elf, Cor'hm


« Reply #20 on: October 05, 2009, 11:55:30 PM »

Ok, I took away the crossbow and will now just keep to the blades. I have also taken off Jealousy and replaced it with her lack of armour and weakness against the elements and magic.

I will also add to how she got the strengths and weaknesses in the history. Take another look, should be more balanced now.  azn
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Rookie Brownbark
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« Reply #21 on: October 06, 2009, 12:06:17 AM »

Sorry to break it to you, but lack of armour and magic don't count as weaknesses. You're compairing yourself to the average peasant who has neither of these things.  Unless she's particularly weak or particularly terrified of magic, they can't be weaknesses.
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Ylaya
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Elf, Cor'hm


« Reply #22 on: October 06, 2009, 02:27:57 AM »

How do you compare a common peasant to an elf trained in war, as if a peasant could ever match someone with magical abitilies or a warrior, I think this balance is a bit silly. Some characters might not just have many weaknesses, why is that a problem? A peasant with a pitch fork could never beat a superior knight with heavy armour and a giant sword, so why change it?

Also, can't you find you own weaknesses in the game instead of complaining about it in the CD? I don't understand this forum, everyone is a CD moderator and no one actually RPs, no wonder people are annoyed and 90% of those who make a character quit within an hour. Perfection is a waste of time if no one is actually posting in the game. I am really having trouble in changing these weaknesses because one person tells you something and then someone else says something completely different. You keep adding to the list of changes. You say make these changes and then add another bunch after that in the next post.

Please, just tell me what I have to do, all of it?
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Valan Nonesuch
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« Reply #23 on: October 06, 2009, 02:40:08 AM »

Ylaya, if you take issue with the way we do things here, I would politely and strongly suggest that you leave. The issues have been outlined to you several times. This is how we do things. If you can't deal with it, then kindlly get the hell out of Dodge.


Valan Nonesuch
« Last Edit: October 06, 2009, 02:45:48 AM by Valan Nonesuch » Logged

Do not act incautiously when confronting little bald wrinkly smiling men!
Valan Nonesuch
Ylaya
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Elf, Cor'hm


« Reply #24 on: October 06, 2009, 03:25:14 AM »

Valan, why are you so mad, is this your life or something?
« Last Edit: October 06, 2009, 03:26:08 AM by Ylaya » Logged

Azhira Styralias
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« Reply #25 on: October 06, 2009, 03:28:18 AM »

Quote
Ylaya, if you take issue with the way we do things here, I would politely and strongly suggest that you leave. The issues have been outlined to you several times. This is how we do things. If you can't deal with it, then kindlly get the hell out of Dodge.


Valan Nonesuch

Valan, this was not necessary. Forgive me for pointing this out in public, but these comments do not help.

@ Ylala

You must understand the general picture of this game. Characters in the Santharia RP board are created to play in a fantasy world where interaction and fighting take place. It is not fun to play a character with alot of powers and no weaknesses. This is not the movies where the hero can dodge bullets and destroy armies of enemies without breaking a sweat. This is meant to be "realistic" in that you are limited in what you can do. Your character cannot be played as a Superman (or woman).

Now, all characters are compared to a peasant who typically cannot read, write or wield any kind of sword. Do not take for granted that your character automatically knows how to wield a blade or wear armor or manipulate people easily. Everyone in real life has to LEARN how to do these things, same as your character does. Most Coor'hem are taught from an early age to wield a blade and are generally agile, quick people. Some tribes have natural affinities towards such things. BUT if you have these strengths, you must balance them with other weaknesses. Remember, you are not Super Elf Warrior.

Most peasants also are not exposed to magic, so being weak to magic is not suitable. Most every person in this world is weak to magic. Remember, no one is Superman! Without your training, you would be no different than a peasant who grows corn for a living. So, your training counts as a strength.

People DO play the game and RP. There are several games open. The CD Forum is managed by the CD Moderators and Administrators.

Administrators (Red names and plaque) - They run the show around here. They let the CD Mods manage the CD forum and they can make the FINAL word on all matters. If a CD Mod has a question, we go to the Admin.

CD Moderator (see our plaque? We have yellow names in the Users Online box) - What we say about your CD matters. We approve and we don't approve. Follow our advice and you'll be approved. Period.

Mini-Moderators (Green names and plaque) - The Minis help with comments and propose revisions. They do NOT approve CDs. Follow their advice, but if in doubt, as a CD Mod for the final word.

Everyone else - Other non-mods are free to comment, and listen to them as well. But they cannot approve either. If advice conflicts with the CD Mod, then follow the CD Mod's words.

Now go back to what I have been saying and we'll get this approved. Don't be frustrated, just keep working. You are closer to approval, just need to tweak those weaknesses some more.
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"Be still and I shall calm your mind and mend your broken body."
Ylaya
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Elf, Cor'hm


« Reply #26 on: October 07, 2009, 01:41:07 AM »

Ok, I changed the weaknesses again and balanced it up a bit more. 6 strengths to 6 weaknesses. Is that enough or do you think one or two more weaknesses are needed.  Huh?
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Valan Nonesuch
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« Reply #27 on: October 07, 2009, 06:29:59 AM »

As mentioned before weaknesses are not thought to be balanced based on a purely numerical basis. 6 to 6 could still be obscenely unbalanced, while a character with 4 strengths and one weakness that happens to be that they can't move their legs might be considered fine.

As to the specific point of your weaknesses:
Quote
Psychological issues after humiliation in the past: Although nothing has happened yet to give any hint of mental trauma, Ylaya may suddenly break out psychologically if she is put under extreme stress or challenged by someone who can match her ego. For instance, if she found the right man and he could overcome her, she might breakdown under this and even lose some of her nerve. Questioning herself could be her undoing and if someone reminds of her past she may lose her decisive attitude and confidence.

Blades characteristics are very important/Weapon choice: Although her blades are a great advantage combined with her skill in surprise attacks, they are not very strong when matched against something brutal like a long sword, axe or hammer. Against such weapons they will shatter after a couple of blocking moves. Her blades are designed for stealthly attack, not engagement of the kind most warriros prefer. Opponents who can find this weakness in her blades can simply overwhelm her and shatter her weapon of choice and confidence.
These do not qualify as weaknesses. The first contains enough "maybe"-esque-ness that you could probably ignore it completely. The second, as has been mentioned before, does not apply as a weakness.

Now, all characters are compared to a peasant who typically cannot read, write or wield any kind of sword.
Please keep this in mind and colour the changes you make.
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Valan Nonesuch
Kalna Dal'isyrs
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« Reply #28 on: October 07, 2009, 06:46:26 AM »

Quote
Ok, I changed the weaknesses again and balanced it up a bit more. 6 strengths to 6 weaknesses. Is that enough or do you think one or two more weaknesses are needed.

The balancing of Strengths and Weaknesses doesn't have to do with how many you have, it is how they either positively or negatively affect your character. You could have 3 Strengths and 6 Weaknesses and be balanced. Or even 5 Strengths and 2 Weaknesses and be balanced. It all depends on the wording and how they apply.
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Insanity is only a perception made by those who have yet to attain its greatness. While those of us who have already stepped inside its bounds find bliss in our utter madness.
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Ylaya
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Elf, Cor'hm


« Reply #29 on: October 07, 2009, 08:51:28 PM »

I have added a foot wound given to her when she was beaten in the village. Don't know if that counts for anything, but it must be healed or she is immobilized.
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