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Author Topic: Ohenmar's Treehouse  (Read 1506 times)
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Ohénmár Celeste
Fair-Haired Wanderer
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Gender: Female
Posts: 79


Half-Elf, Ylfferhim/ Eyelian


« on: October 11, 2009, 05:30:20 AM »

A home. It's about time I had one. I need a home base, somewhere to rest when
I'm not traveling. A place all my own. Yes, that would be nice....

 
Overview:  
   Ohénmár Celeste sat under a tree thinking. I want a a house in the trees somewhere, just under the roof of the trees. With a garden up above in the sunlight. Near a stream for fresh water. At first she thought about having it in the Quallan forest, where her father was supposed to be, but decided against it. She hadn't seen any sign of him there, he might be somewhere else entirely. She needed a place near the middle of Santharia. She also thought it should be near the center of the forest, so it would be equal distance from anywhere. But she didn't want to travel alone in the forest at night. So she took out her maps and started looking. Then she saw it. Perfect! She thought. The Thaelon forest had a path running through it, so she could be both at the edge and in the center. She would make her house at the northwestern part of the Thaelon forest, also known as Aelle'lón.
 
Location:
   The house is in Southern Sarvonia, the province of Vardýnn, Thaelon forest. It is in the section of the forest known as Aelle'lón, near the southeastern edge. Visitors are always welcome, and any traveler passing through is welcome to stay for the night. That is, as long as they ask nicely first. While it does take a few days to reach the nearest villages, there are elves nearby where she lives that are very nice. At least most of them...
 
DESCRIPTION
 
Outdoors:
   Ohénmár looked at the spot. To the left, southwest of where she was standing, a creek could be heard. She could see bits and pieces of it through the trees. Slightly upstream, she knew, was a pool from which the water came.
   She turned her attention to the tree in front of her. It was perfect, big and sturdy, the tallest tree in the area. Her house would be two stories, the main floor under the treetops, with a garden above. The top would serve not only as a garden, but as a place to sit and talk. The bottom, and main, floor was where she slept and ate. A ladder led up to it, and another led to the roof. Though it could be considered small, for one person it is very decent in size, not crowded at all. Both floors are square in shape, with a tree trunk coming through the house, the leaves shading most of the top level, which is very nice when it gets warm.
 
Garden:
   Ohenmar sat with a paper in front of her, thinking. A ladder will take you to the second level, which is the garden. You would then stand on a sort of balcony encircling the whole thing. There will three entrances, one in front of me, another on the opposite side, and a third to my right. She continued to draw the side without an entrance to the balcony and how it shows a view of the forest stretching into the distance. When I climb the ladder, to my right I will barely be able to see the road. It isn't a real road, but rather a thinner part of the forest, a natural path. Above the garden, the tree branches will provide cool shade on hot days. In her mind, Ohenmar steps into the garden and looks around. She pictures what is in her garden, and draws what she sees.    
      In the north corner is a pool with clean water used to water the plants when rain is scarce. Behind it are carrots, lettuce, tomatoes, and snap peas. In the east corner is a stool, where one could spend many hours simply doing nothing. The plants in front of it are beautiful flowers, no pink, but deeper blues and violets, with a little red. In the southern corner are ferns and moss, like one might find on the forest floor. To the west, the corner most covered by the tree branches, are herbs. A little table with glass jars for storing them after they are pick is on the south western wall, by the main entrance. She ends her daydream of the garden, imagining snuggling up under the branches of the tree to read a good book.
 
Indoors:
  
Rooms:  
   Inside the house, the first thing I will see is the living room. To my right is a window, the biggest in the whole house. It gives you a view of surrounding treetops, and maybe even, could it be? Is that an end to the trees in the distance? As she imagines her herself exploring the house as a guest would. In front of her to the left is a tree trunk, which continues through the ceiling. Going forward you would come to her bedroom. A window shows more trees and beautiful blue sky, a relief after not seeing the sky for days, stuck under the canopy of the trees. At least that's how some people feel, but not me! Ohenmar thought. There should be two doors leading to the bedroom, one facing the front door, another going off to the left.  As her imaginary self walks through the door she sees a kitchen, with a window on her right. Going left I see two more doors, leading to different rooms. In the one right in front of her is the bathroom which has a window to the right, and the other door is guest bedroom. It has no window, as if to help you forget you are not actually high of the ground in a forest. Guests will like sleeping there for the night.
 
Furniture:
   There is a big comfy chair in front of a window in the living room. It is red with soft pillows. In the bedroom is a bed, a nightstand with a mirror, and a small potted tree underneath the window. The bed is in the right corner, with the nightstand beside it. In the kitchen there are two cupboards on either side of a countertop, used for preparing food, but surprisingly, no stove. In front of a window is a surprisingly large table. How did they even get it up here? The guest bedroom is bare except for a pallet for sleeping. There is a bathtub and toilet in the bathroom, and a screen can be pulled over to cover the window.
 
LINKS
 
Ohénmár: Celeste's CD
My tribes: Ylfferhim elves and Eyelian humans
Location: Thaelon forest
Blueprints: 1st Floor
               2nd floor
« Last Edit: December 17, 2009, 03:07:33 PM by Kalína Mërénwèn » Logged

~Understanding the world is understanding yourself~
                      •º•Ohénmár Celeste•º•
Deklitch Hardin
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Posts: 1536


Human, Erpheronian


« Reply #1 on: October 17, 2009, 04:00:53 AM »

Ohenmar, is this ready for comments yet? I just noticed you've got the first icon up
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Seeking the truth, whatever the cost! - Deklitch Hardin, Elf Friend
Ohénmár Celeste
Fair-Haired Wanderer
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Gender: Female
Posts: 79


Half-Elf, Ylfferhim/ Eyelian


« Reply #2 on: October 25, 2009, 12:44:37 PM »

Oh sorry. Yes, it's ready for comments, I must have clicked the wrong one.  :)
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~Understanding the world is understanding yourself~
                      •º•Ohénmár Celeste•º•
Deklitch Hardin
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Human, Erpheronian


« Reply #3 on: October 26, 2009, 02:26:09 PM »

Thanks for clarifying that Ohenmar,

I'll get too it tomorrow, after hopefully this storm has gone.

Dek
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Deklitch Hardin
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Human, Erpheronian


« Reply #4 on: October 26, 2009, 10:24:00 PM »

Hi Ohenmar,

Let's have a look through this for you. My comments/corrections/suggestions will be in yellow.

A home. It's about time I had one. I need a home base, somewhere to rest when
I'm not travelling. A place all my own. Yes, that would be nice....

 
Overveiw: 
   Ohénmár Celeste sat under a tree thinking. I want a a house in the trees somewhere, just under the roof of the trees. With a garden up above in the sunlight. Near a stream for fresh water. I would suggest making anything she thinks in italics just to make it clear for the reader. I've done that here for you.At first she thought about having it be consider taking out the be, please. in the Quallan forest, where her father was suposed to be, but decided against it. She hadn't seen any sign of him there, he might be somewhere else enterily. She needed a place near the middle of Santharia. She also thought it should be near the center of the forest, so it would be equal distance from anywhere. But she didn't want to travel alone in the forest at night. So she took out her maps and started looking. Then she saw it. Perfect! She thought. The Thaelon forest had a path running through it, so she could be both at the edge and in the center. She would make her house at the north-western part of the Thaelon forest, also known as Aelle'lón.
 
Location:
   The house is in Southern Santharia I suggest Sarvonia here instead of Santharia. Sarvonia is the continent, while Santharia is the kingdom., the province of Vardýnn, Thaelon forest. It is in the section of the forest known as Aelle'lón, near the south-eastern edge. Vistors are always welcome, and any traveler passing through is welcome to stay for the night. That is, as long as they ask nicely first. While it does take a few days to reach the nearest villages, there are elfs nearby where she lives that are very nice. At least most of them...
 
DESCRIPTION
 
Outdoors:
   Ohénmár looked at the spot. To the left, southwest of where she was standing, a creek could be heard. She could see bits and peices of it throught the trees. Slightly upstream, she knew, was a pool from which the water came. She turned her attention to the tree in front of her. It was perfect, big and sturdy, the tallest tree in the area. Her house would be two stories, the main floor under the treetops, with a garden above. The top would serve not only as a garden, but as a place to sit and talk. The botom, and main, floor was where she slept and ate. A ladder led up to it, and another led to the roof. Though it could be considered small, for one person it is very decent in size, not crowded at all. Both floors are are<-- please take out the second 'are' square in shape, with a tree trunk coming throught the house, the leaves shading most of the top level, which is very nice when it gets warm.
 
Garden: I was really enjoying the way you were writing this describing the house as though you were finding the location for it. This isn't a requirement, but it would be nice if you had continued your description of it in the same way, instead of changing it to third person.
   A ladder takes you to the second level, or the garden. You stand on a sort of balcony encircling the whole thing. There are three entrances, one in front of you, another on the other side, and a third to your right. The side without an entrance to the balcony shows a veiw of the forest stretching into the distance. To your right the road can just be seen. It isn't a real road, but rather a thinner part of the forest, like a long and narrow clearing. just for my own understanding here ... do you mean like a path? Above you the top of the tree braches and provides cool shade. You step into the garden and look around. In the north corner is a pool with clean water used to water the plants when rain is scarce. Behind it are carrots, lettuce, tomatoes, and snap peas. In the east corner is a stool, where one could spend many hours simply doing nothing. The plants in front of it are bauetiful flowers, nothing pink, but deeper blues and violets, with a little red. In the southern corner are ferns and moss, like one might find on the forest floor.  To the west, the corner most covered by the tree branches, are herbs. A little table with glass jars for storing them after they are pick is on the south western wall, by the main entrance. You decide to snuggle up under the branches of the tree and read a good book. So, the ladder takes you to the garden which is the 2nd floor, or are the 2nd floor and the garden two seperate locations?
 
Indoors:
   
Rooms:   
   Inside the house, the first thing you would see is the living room. To the right is a window, the biggest in the house actually. It gives you a veiw of surounding treetops, and maybe, could it be? Is that an end to the trees in the distance? In front of you to the left is a tree trunk, which continues through the ceiling. If you continued forward you would come to her bedroom. A window shows more trees and beautiful blue sky, a relief after not seeing the sky for days, stuck under the canopy of the trees. There are two doors leading to the bedroom, one facing the front door, another going off to the left. Through the door is a kitchen, with a window to your right. Going left you see two more doors, leading to different rooms. In the one right in front of you is the bathroom which has a window to the right, and the other door looks like a guest bedroom. It has no window, as if to help you forget you are not actually high off the ground in a forest. Guese that's where you will sleep tonight.
 
Furniture:
   There is a big comfy chair in front of a window in the living room. It is red with soft pillows. In the bedroom is a bed, a nightstand with a mirror, and a small potted tree underneath the window. The bed is in the right corner, with the nightstand beside it. In the kitchen there are two cupboards on either side of a countertop, used for preparing food, but surprisingly, no stove. In front of a window is a surprisingly large table. How did they even get it up here?  grin A bit like the massive dragon in the dungeon of some adventure games ... how on earth did that thing get in here? The guest bedroom is bare except for a pallet for sleeping. There is a bathtub and toilet in the bathroom, and a screen can be pulled over to cover the window.
 
LINKS
 
Ohénmár: Celeste's CD
My tribes: Ylfferhim elfs and Eyelian humans
Location: Thaelon forest
Blueprints: 1st Floor
               2nd floor

I like your house here, Ohenmar! Just a few things, mostly spelling to fix up, and also a few suggestions that might help with understanding.

Attend to those things I raised, and I'll be back to give you an approval!
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Seeking the truth, whatever the cost! - Deklitch Hardin, Elf Friend
Ohénmár Celeste
Fair-Haired Wanderer
Approved Character
*
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Gender: Female
Posts: 79


Half-Elf, Ylfferhim/ Eyelian


« Reply #5 on: November 01, 2009, 02:56:46 PM »

Thank you! I chnaged the writing to be as if she were planning her house. I left the furniture as is though, since it didn't make sense to change it. Tell me what you think of it now.
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~Understanding the world is understanding yourself~
                      •º•Ohénmár Celeste•º•
Deklitch Hardin
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Posts: 1536


Human, Erpheronian


« Reply #6 on: November 04, 2009, 10:49:49 AM »

Oh sorry, my comment about the dragon was just simply an observation that in some of those D&D modules there are dragons who are quite big for the small space they are meant to occupy.

I didn't mean for you to include that in your house description, Ohenmar. Sorry for the confusion there.

In any case, I'm happy to give you my approval on it!
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Seeking the truth, whatever the cost! - Deklitch Hardin, Elf Friend
Ohénmár Celeste
Fair-Haired Wanderer
Approved Character
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Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 79


Half-Elf, Ylfferhim/ Eyelian


« Reply #7 on: November 04, 2009, 01:13:57 PM »

Awsome! Thanks.
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~Understanding the world is understanding yourself~
                      •º•Ohénmár Celeste•º•
Foraste Lydan
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Human, Erpheronian


« Reply #8 on: November 09, 2009, 11:01:43 AM »

Looks great,  all I see is a bit of stray code in the garden section. Sorry for taking so long but now you have your second approval. All you have to do is wait for an admin.
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Foraste Lydan
Deklitch Hardin
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Human, Erpheronian


« Reply #9 on: November 09, 2009, 11:25:08 AM »

Hi Ohenmar,

Just take out the unneeded editing colours and an admin will be by to move it across for you.
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Seeking the truth, whatever the cost! - Deklitch Hardin, Elf Friend
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