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Author Topic: Synder Nytefall ~ Jhehellrhim-Ahrhim ~ Pirate/Rogue  (Read 6489 times)
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Synder Nytefall
Jovial Buccaneer
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Elf - Butterfly Rover


« on: November 13, 2009, 03:25:53 PM »

Name: Synder Nytefall  

Nickname amongst fellow pirates: Deadeye Dollie

Occupation: Rogue/Pirate

Gender: Female

Race: Elf (Jhehellrhim-father/ Ahrhim-Mother)

Age: 123

Age by Appearance: 24

Approximate lifespan: 425

Skills & Knowledge: Equal to that of a 50 year old human.

Height: 1 Ped, 2 Fores, 8 Nailsbreadths, 3 Grains (A bit small for her heritage 5’9”)

Eye Color: Burgundy

Hair Color: Fiery Brass

Weight: 131 Od

Tribe: Black Butterfly Rover ~ Crimson Blade Pirate

Title: Jovial Buccaneer
Appearance
Synder looks to be about twenty-four years of age and in the prime of her life. The elf’s time in the midst of the Rovers as a dancer and practitioner of acrobatics have made her toned and in extraordinary corporeal condition. With a life amongst the Crimson Blade Pirates climbing rigging and such the elfess remains in peak physical condition and it clearly shows. Her bearing is elegant, nimble and somewhat seductive, more a part learned from stage work when performing for the public. Beneath the pirate’s deeply suntanned skin, well formed musculature can be glimpsed as she moves about during performances or otherwise.

The rogue has full lips, often painted ginger or black in color, with an affectionate and cheerful beam always upon her face. An aura of happiness and lightheartedness usually radiates from the elfess and frequently spreads to those about her. With hair that is the color of dancing flames on a placid summer’s night, reflecting the smoldering spirit within. Generally trimmed to near shoulder length, a style of cut she used too conceal her gender in the early days with the Crimson Blades. Synder’s almond shaped eyes are the albino red so commonly found amongst her mother’s tribe, the Ahrhim. To no surprise, her agile hands are calloused and scarred from years of hard labor coupled with the brine of the oceans.

A form fitting pair of light tan buckskin breeches covers her well-built yet slim legs. A burgundy sash with flaming golden squares is wrapped about her little waist, it is attached in a knot on her right hip and the loose ends flow liberally to her knees. A sturdy rawhide girdle is also wrapped about her waist; a brass belt buckle holds it fastened in the front. She wears a tan bandanna with a golden floral design upon her brow, yet she also wears a buccaneer’s hat with lengthy flowing white feathers at times. A pair of thigh high buckskin boots covers her feet, the tops of which are folded over and studded with brass adornments.

A white and elegant cotton blouse is tucked into the breeches and buttoned low, revealing her opulently bronzed skin beneath. It also permits the casual observer a glimpse of the elf’s robust bosom. Along the front it is fastened with a row of brass buttons of no particular design, as she has replaced missing ones with a variety of odd ones. The sleeves are often times rolled up to elbow level, for she is accustomed to working with her hands, allowing her freedom of movement. Rippling muscles can be seen on the exposed sections of her forearms, although lithe they are well formed.

Two large golden hoop earrings dangle from her earlobes, the right ear having four smaller hoops also golden in color, descending in size to the tip of her elfin ears. A navel piercing has a dumbbell style stud with a black butterfly on one end and a twosome of crossed cutlasses on the other. About her agile wrists she exhibits a trio of brass bracelets that are frequently removed when she is ‘working’. Still it is not uncommon for the Rover to sport almost any jewelry that she can solicit, scrounge or steal for a short time. Yet she seems overly fond of those listed here and continues to wear them to this day.

A tattoo of a grand black butterfly covers much of her lower back, its wings outlined in a silhouette of flames. The tattoo is exceedingly detailed and appears to be the labor of a magnificent artisan. Above her right breast she has a tattoo of the Crimson Blade Pirates, a stylized skull and crossbones, nearly a palmspan in width. A collar of rawhide with numerous beads, mostly sizzling burgundy and fiery orange in color, rides elevated on Synder’s petite neck.

A finely crafted pirate sword, a longsword by construction, rests in a black scabbard upon her left hip. It has a sculpted metal handle, pommel and hand guard with an antique brass finish designed in a motif of a sailing ship on a rough sea. The weapon is in admirable condition although it does show the signs of heavy use. Along the blades length is a pair of blood grooves designating the weapon as an instrument of war. (Handle length: 17 nailsbreadth/ Blade length: 75 nailsbreadth/ Blade width: 3.5 nailsbreadth/ Overall length: 92 nailsbreadth).

She has nine throwing knives, all of them well balanced, sleek and intricately designed. Each was handmade by Synder with the excellence taught to her by the Rovers. Although none of them are identical in make, a fellow Butterfly could ascertain their origins. One is hidden in each of her boots for concealment. Two are in sheaths on her belt, with hilts openly displayed along her lower back. The remaining knives are in a bandoleer over her right shoulder, granting Synder easy access to them during her acts.

Personality
Synder’s demeanor is brimming with poise, combined with her mischievous smile and radiant eyes divulge much about her. She enjoys a first-class tale or joke, and often times will be the instigator in these dealings. There is little the rogue takes seriously outside of the acts of tyrants, defined by her morals of course. The Rover “knows” that freedom to live free from tyranny, oppression and violence is a birthright of all. If confronted by these things she can be very cunning and treacherous to relieve the tyrant of wealth and life if necessary.  

The elf is not well educated which can easily be noted by her speech. It is often filled with slang and tinge of sarcasm but is usually kind and caring words for those she meets. Still she speaks her mind to everyone, never fearing that what she might utter could offend someone. People with false expectations to be treated like they are above others will find Synder as an unwilling participant. In her eyes there are no social orders to be observed as everyone breathes the same air to survive.

Synder is at ease hanging about in sleazy sections of the ports and lands she has traveled and has seen a great deal of the horrid side civilization brings about in men. She protects herself from these places by hiding behind a veil of sarcasm, trickery or just a feigned show of force. Such is her life and this defense she has set about herself has kept her breathing, even over the decades about scallywags and cutthroats.

Although the elfess has no musical training she does know an assortment of sea ditties. All of them relayed to anyone that cares too listen, especially when the pirate has wet her whistle. They may not be fit for most crowds but she wears a beaming grin throughout their presentations, adding a great deal of hand gestures to enhance flavor. Even when other performers put on their shows Synder will listen intently, if not joining in for the fun. The Rover is an exhibitionist to the extreme and the world is her stage, the lines being written as she travels through it.

She drinks rather often and numerous times to excess, her undersized stature not helping matters in this area. Synder can become loud, boisterous and flirtatious during these times; she has many times awoken not remembering the events of the night before or only bits and pieces in clouded memories.

History
Born on the second Halfday, in the seventh month (Falling Leaf) in the year 1545 A.S. Synder is the only daughter of Ginilharc Nytefall (father) a Black Butterfly Rover acrobat and Eryalith Cometsinger (mother) a fortuneteller amongst the Rovers as well. The first few decades of her life were spent traveling across vast expanses of the world with other Rovers. She learned pilfering and thievery from the older children she played with. Many long hours were spent playing games of stealth and trickery upon merchants and caravans they came across. Much of these times are the most peaceful and loving memory filled times of Synder's life.

1577 A.S. Synder began being taught all the skills of a professional gymnast and exhibited great dexterity and skill in this area. She became a common staple in her fathers act and often times would steal the show with amazing stunts of agility. Often practicing with her friend Craic, a human male that was surprisingly strong and could hold Synder's weight simply, their act containing many wondrous displays, such as back flips into Craic's waiting hands or somersaults from Craic's shoulders landing on tightropes.

1620 A.S. Synder met a group of young children in the port town of Strata, spending much of her free time with these vagrants committing acts of thievery and cons on the population of Strata. These games continued on and off for near two years until the unforeseen happened. The gang of hoodlums was arrested when they committed a petty theft from a food stand in the markets. Synder was taken in as well, not because she committed the crime but because she was known to be friends with the other children and her necklace of a black butterfly identified her with the Black Butterfly Rovers. Incarcerated for about two months Synder and her friends were “bought” out of the jails by a young boy named Arkan Delath.

She did not know the juvenile man that had helped them yet a few of her other friends knew him from business deals about town. Synder wished to rejoin her family but there was no trace of them when she was freed. The scattered remnants of the Rovers that were in the town of Strata knew little to naught of where Synders band of Rovers had wandered off to. So she stayed on the streets of the city with Arkan and the other homeless children committing more brazen acts of criminal activity. She often played lookout or scout for these criminal heists since she had a fantastic ability to spot the minutest details of a crime. This went on for about three summers until finally Arkan came up with the most shameless of all his ideas.

1625 A.S. The gang, the Crimsons, of Arkans slipped onto the docks of Strata, Synder swam out to an anchored ship. A few of the other gang members stayed behind and set multiple fires on the docks. This caused much of the crew, on the soon to be heisted ship to rush off deck, to battle the flames. Synder kept a close eye on the deck of the ship and let Arkan know when most of the crew had fled; Synder, Arkan and the others from their motley band slipped onboard the trading vessel. She led a small group into the sleeping quarters below deck and silently slit the throats of the remaining crew. While Arkan and his band went to the officers’ quarters and quickly took control of those that remained, keeping only the navigator and a few trained sailors alive. The band of newly formed pirates then sailed from port to make names for them selves.  

1629 A.S. The name of the Crimsons began to spread fear along small port towns about Strata. Synder spent much of her time in the crows’ nest of the ship, keeping an ever watchful eye out for boats to be raided, small towns to be plundered and the continually present threat of military ships hunting pirates. Small skirmishes were often at these times yet even these became more frequent and grander in scale. Soon they had enough crew members that the taking of another ship was in order.

1631 A.S. Synder led a small group on rowboats just out of sight of a galley class frigate, the waters calm and the sky almost moonless from cloud cover, leading a small convoy of merchant ships. The crew members and Synder swam to the galley and climbed the rigging. Stealth fully climbing onto the deck she spread out with the other buccaneers and slit the throats of the guards on duty. The rest of the pirates slipped below deck and finished off the remaining gang. Arkan took the helm of the vessel and Synder took again her rightful place in the crows nest, as they turned the ship on those it once protected.

1638 A.S. In this time Synder came to one of the most horrific events of her life. The Battle of the Crimson Blades, here Synder and the motley band of pirates that Arkan now led, faced a fleet of twelve military ships, ten galleons and two galley class vessels. Arkan's fleet consisted of only four galley class ships, yet superior tactics on his part and the keen eyes of Synder carried them through the blood soaked day. She had boarded two enemy ships and fought like a she-devil for the sake of survival. Much of that day is clouded in streams of blood and the awful screams of the dieing. So began her slow decent into alcoholism as she attempted to drink away the horrors of that day.

1650 A.S. Synder was traveling on the sister ship to Arkan's, The Howling Knave. She was to take the vessel to shore in Strata sell goods from pirated ships and return the spoils to Arkan. At dusk just before they reached sight of the shoreline a raging storm struck the ship causing it to overturn and spill all of the crew into the sea. To this day Synder swears the storm to be magical in nature yet she has no proof, for such a tempest to have hit with such violence with little forewarning she had not seen in all her days at sea.

The taste of salt upon parched lips was her first memories after the gale, which mingled with the sounds of seagulls all about her. Raising up to a kneeling position her red eyes scanned the remnants of the once glorious vessel she once had captained. The seabirds picking the bones of her once glorious band of pirates, she gathered what few items she could and wandered the coastline until finally coming to Strata many weeks after she should have.

After coming to the seaport she joined up once again with a band of Black Butterfly Rovers and has since returned to participating in festivals and some travel. She tends to stay near the city of Strata in hopes of finding Arkan or her parents once more. So it has remained for her over the last five years.

Strengths
Nimble: Her greatest strength is the regime she has followed most of her life. Through dance, acrobatics and the nimbleness required in a pirate’s life, she is highly agile. She could easily be on par with a world class gymnast; a backwards cartwheel into a handstand would be child’s play for her. This agility also helps her in climbing surfaces very well, a common thing when stealing into a person’s home to “acquire” items that interest her.

Great Depth Perception: The nickname given to her by the Crimson Blades, Deadeye, stems from Synder's ability to see clearly at long distances. This feat has on more than one occasion steered a ship from danger and brought them ashore safely when all hope was lost. This has also assisted the elf in reading the stars as to help plot courses for long sea voyages. In fact, this is the attribute that Arkan found most favorable and many still do to this day.

Throwing Knives: With the rogue’s uncanny depth perception and years of training with the Rover’s, Synder is a master of the throwing knife. Against a stationary target she could easily pin a loose part of a person’s clothing to a wall or knock an item from a resting place, at distances of about 20 peds. When used hand to hand the pirate’s deadliness with them is barely diminished. Most of the knives she uses are well-worn to fit her firm grasp, as they fulfill a multitude of uses in her daily life.

Stealth: The Black Butterfly Rovers taught her many skills in the arts of stealth. These teachings allow Synder to sneak among the shadows of the night and strike unwary opponents from hiding. She could easily pass a person not paying attention within a few peds, on a dimly lit street, with little fear of being heard. This skill has been used in sneaking aboard other vessels at sea and committing sabotage.

Longsword: Although the longsword on Synder’s hip looks well-worn it is not a weapon she uses often. It may be true she could face off with another scallywag and possibly come out victorious. Odds are against her standing up to a well trained opponent for any amount of time. The blade is used more to imply threats than to engage others in mortal combat. To say she is anymore than decent with it would be a farce, though a snarl now and then might help with the fear factor.  

Roguish Nature: Her ability to pick locks and the pockets of others is superb; her agility and hand eye coordination assisting the rogue immensely in these fields. Complex locks could take the elfess more time but are not utterly impossible, given her unique traits. This has left many enemies, patrons and merchants light in the purse after meeting Synder. Rarely does the Rover steal from those that could not sustain such a loss.

Pearl Diver: Synder is a fantastic swimmer and use to diving for pearls in many ports. Amongst the Crimson Blades she could dive further than all men aboard which gained her much respect.

Weaknesses
Alcoholic: Alcoholism is one of Synders greatest weaknesses, she goes through long periods of withdrawal when forced to be without it. She sometimes becomes violent towards those that keep her from a drink. Even then she returns to it wholeheartedly when it is about, leaving her a prisoner when there is revelry and merriment to be had.  As of present she is a functioning alcoholic yet she slides deeper and deeper into the sickness as the decades pass.

Wanted: She is renowned for taking the valuables from the upper class just before her departure, in more than a few seaport cities there are those that would take her life for what she has done. Wanted posters have been posted for Synder for near two decades and a few bounty hunters would joyfully collect on such a prize. This is especially true around the southern coast of Sarvonia, although not limited to this area. Even other cutthroats might still harbor animosity towards the pirate.

Transient Friends: Her free spirit has caused Synder to move about much of her life. She has numerous times moved on when people got close to her. Leaving her without many friends and hurting more than a few scorned lovers. It is rare for the elfess to have people that she calls true allies; generally she loses them almost as quickly as she gains them.

Black Butterfly Rover: Synder openly exhibits the tattoo of the Black Butterfly Rovers, causing many others to distrust her and even more often than not to be accused of evil acts she did not commit.

Gambler: She is an addicted gambler, often times squandering away any wealth she has acquired. The decades of thievery and piracy would usually make a person extremely wealthy, yet Synder gambles it away like it were in endless supply.

*Crack* Ouch!: Wandering fingers bring harsh chastisement, the thief might be adroit with nimble fingers but the brashness of youth leaves those skills unrestrained with recklessness. Not once but twice she has been apprehended for theft, the first she was able to persuade the guards that a bargain could be worked out. The second did not end quite as well, bringing the Rover to be introduced unto the bitter crack of a whip.

The wounds nearly a decade old at this point are fairly well healed, though she does have a web like pattern decorating her bronzed flesh from shoulders to mid-back. To this day after a long night rest or even sitting comfortably for a few hours the act of moving becomes difficult and frequently painful.
 
Fighting Style
She does not fair well in close styles of combat, she is only decent with the longsword upon her tiny hip. She uses the blade and agility more to retreat and strike from a distance with knives, using cartwheels and back springs to put distance from her opponents. Synder could fight a fair opponent with a blade but would be easily overcome by a knight or others well trained in the martial skills.

Many times she hurls knives when in an acrobatic maneuver throwing off an opponent in the heat of battle. This coupled with her agile style of combat usually causes an opponent to be caught by surprise when facing the elfess.

But most of all her preferred style of fighting is swift and from behind. This leaves diminutive chances for an opponent to retaliate and harm Synder. Amongst the crowds she has associated with over the decades she is renowned for striking and moving silently into the night.

Weapons
Longsword: A finely crafted pirate sword, a longsword by construction, rests in a black scabbard upon her left hip. It has a sculpted metal handle, pommel and hand guard with an antique brass finish designed in a motif of a sailing ship on a rough sea. The weapon is in admirable condition although it does show the signs of heavy use. Along the blades length is a pair of blood grooves designating the weapon as an instrument of war.

Knives: Synder carries nine knives she has constructed over the years. All of them are well balanced for throwing, although their general appearance varies. She has fashioned them from a diverse set of materials and continues to replace them as needed.

Possessions
- 9 Knives hidden about her person, each of them crafted by Synder and her most prized possessions. One in each boot, two on her belt about her waist, the remaining five in a bandoleer over her shoulder.
- The clothes noted in her descryption are always with her.
- A set of bone dice and a pack of playing cards are in small pouches on her waist.
- A large rucksack containing a change of clothes and near a weeks rations.
- A set of lock picks is concealed in her right boot.
- A small jewelry box in the shape of a pirate’s chest containing some old coins, a few trinkets of jewelry and a map of her homeland is also in the aforementioned rucksack.
- A full length leather trench coat, light tan in color, with brass buttons and a large cowl is worn in colder climates.
- Two bottles of Mil'no Fire a very potent alcohol. (This is often mixed with water to dilute the potency. But a good shot of it now and then is in order.)

Occupation
She performs acrobatics in many festivals with fellow Butterfly Rovers. Sometimes signing onto ships as a sea hand or a navigator, her time at sea has spread her name widely amongst the less than savory fellows of the oceans.
« Last Edit: March 06, 2011, 04:27:43 PM by Synder Nytefall » Logged

“Every normal woman must be tempted at times, to spit on her hands,
hoist the black flag and begin slitting throats.”
Kalína Dalá'isyrás
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High Elf, Kaýrrhem


« Reply #1 on: November 17, 2009, 01:49:12 AM »

I have a question. Why are you reposting these for reapproval? Were changes made which makes them warrant it? If you are just posting them to get a title for them again, talk to the Admins and we can organize this, otherwise you are wasting time and energy which could be better spent on other players.
« Last Edit: November 17, 2009, 01:50:03 AM by Kalína Mërénwèn » Logged

Insanity is only a perception made by those who have yet to attain its greatness. While those of us who have already stepped inside its bounds find bliss in our utter madness.
Nai'r en'Lina ar'Kaimel
Synder Nytefall
Jovial Buccaneer
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Elf - Butterfly Rover


« Reply #2 on: November 17, 2009, 03:03:45 AM »

This is the only old approved character I have posted. All others I have put up are completely new. This has been written in the newest formats as is required at this point. If major revisions had not been done I may have asked the Admins about reinstating them. But previous mistakes on my part does not exonerate me from the consequences. 
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“Every normal woman must be tempted at times, to spit on her hands,
hoist the black flag and begin slitting throats.”
Kalína Dalá'isyrás
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« Reply #3 on: November 17, 2009, 03:05:36 AM »

Never said it did. Perhaps when posting previously titled CDs of yours, mention at the top if they have been revised, so there is no confusion in the future.

I sent you a PM, which most likely isn't valid now, but a reminder for the future.
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Insanity is only a perception made by those who have yet to attain its greatness. While those of us who have already stepped inside its bounds find bliss in our utter madness.
Nai'r en'Lina ar'Kaimel
Azhira Styralias
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Half-elf, Aellenrhim/ Erpheronian


« Reply #4 on: November 17, 2009, 03:34:21 AM »

So does this still need re-approvals? Because I can see that Ninja Pirate here leans a bit to the overpowered side.

The weapons skills coupled with the nimbleness and swimming, directional aptitude and the picking locks...is alot. Not to mention the ninja stealth skills.  :P

I'd suggest cutting down the strengths a bit. But, if this is a previously approved character, then I suppose the admins will need to say where to go from here.
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"Be still and I shall calm your mind and mend your broken body."
Kalína Dalá'isyrás
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« Reply #5 on: November 17, 2009, 02:15:55 PM »

Quote
Poor: The pirate is frequently without two sans to rub together, although there are times she is richer than others. With her excessive gambling it doesn’t take her long to go through any would be wealth, driving her towards crime once again. Most associates of the elf’s hastily figure out how underhanded she can be when in desperate need

This, as it is written, doesn't read as a solid weakness. A mixture of both weakness, strength, and personality. Rewording it would help make it a stronger disadvantage.

The reason she seems so overpowered is because of the types of strengths and weaknesses used. You have mostly physical strengths while more personality flaws or unphysical weaknesses. Just something to be aware of.

Also, there were some places which could use a read over for misspelled words (less obvious ones) and punctuation, but these are minor.
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Insanity is only a perception made by those who have yet to attain its greatness. While those of us who have already stepped inside its bounds find bliss in our utter madness.
Nai'r en'Lina ar'Kaimel
Synder Nytefall
Jovial Buccaneer
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Posts: 73


Elf - Butterfly Rover


« Reply #6 on: November 18, 2009, 06:24:55 AM »

Removed poor as a weakness and added the one in teal. A more physically debilitating affliction, which I hope brings me closer to balance.
There are large treks of text which remain from the original, I'll give another good read-over Kali and see if I can't spot more mistakes.

Thanks for the comments Kalina! heart
« Last Edit: November 18, 2009, 07:35:58 AM by Synder » Logged

“Every normal woman must be tempted at times, to spit on her hands,
hoist the black flag and begin slitting throats.”
Azhira Styralias
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« Reply #7 on: November 19, 2009, 10:11:19 PM »

Personally, I would remove the longsword skill. As a nimble and stealthy rogue, a longsword is too unwieldy and bulky. I would simply have knives as weapons, either throwing or stabbing, solely. You are a stealthy fighter who prefers backstabbing. In a straight on fight, you wouldn't last long.

By removing the longsword, you also remove the inconsistency that the weapon is just for show (mentioned in the longsword paragraph) versus you can actually use it (as mentioned in the fighting style paragraph). Just re-write the fighting style with knives.

Lastly, the knee injury will make it difficult to be stealthy and nimble and inhibits your basic concept. Better yet to have a shoulder injury that could inhibit your lockpicking, swimming and knife skills. At least you'd still be able to run and jump to escape danger if suddenly your bum shoulder pops out and you are without an arm to use.

Another thought is to use a rapier in place of a longsword. A rapier is lighter and easier to wield, not to mention you can make rapid attacks with it. BUT, I feel you'd be overpowered with a second weapon skill in addition to your other roguish skills.
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"Be still and I shall calm your mind and mend your broken body."
Synder Nytefall
Jovial Buccaneer
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Elf - Butterfly Rover


« Reply #8 on: November 20, 2009, 04:59:11 AM »

1) The longsword isn't going anywhere. I'll revert it to the shamshir if you find it more fitting, but a pirate isn't going to go weaponless.
How does this imply she can't use it? It means she isn't very good with it. Which is also hinted at in the Fighting Style.
Quote
It may be true she could face off with another scallywag and possibly come out victorious. Odds are against her standing up to a well trained opponent for any amount of time.

2) The knee injury is far more debilitating than a shoulder injury. As it happens at random, it limits her more than a shoulder injury. It affects a majority of strengths, like nimble, swimming and fighting skills.
« Last Edit: November 20, 2009, 05:16:36 AM by Synder » Logged

“Every normal woman must be tempted at times, to spit on her hands,
hoist the black flag and begin slitting throats.”
Sylvia Palinor
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« Reply #9 on: November 20, 2009, 05:14:06 AM »

That's the point Azhira was trying to make. You need to stop being so rude to people trying to help you such as "THe longsword's not going anywhere". I agree with Azhira on this. I suggest you take her advice. We are the ones who approve you, so being rude and obnoxious will get you nowhere.
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"Sympathy is a luxury I simply cannot afford, for in the death of others do I make my living."

Sylvia Palinor
Synder Nytefall
Jovial Buccaneer
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Elf - Butterfly Rover


« Reply #10 on: November 20, 2009, 05:20:03 AM »

I respect those that 'read' when they state something is in error. And I also speak openly and truthfully, if being honest nets me a long wait .... so it is.

If she feels the need for another weakness, so be it. But as stated above, it isn't going anywhere.

If making points in regards to comments is somehow derogatory to the CD-Mods, I'll be sure to fall in line.
« Last Edit: November 20, 2009, 05:39:55 AM by Synder » Logged

“Every normal woman must be tempted at times, to spit on her hands,
hoist the black flag and begin slitting throats.”
ßluddε LëRoí
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« Reply #11 on: November 20, 2009, 05:56:55 AM »

I usually keep my nose out of the CD forum unless I'm editing one of mine, however, this character interests me and the primary concern seems to be balance. It just so happens I'm near an expert on balance so let's have a looky-see. Like any good teacher, I make corrections in this color.

Nimble: Her greatest strength is the regime she has followed most of her life. Through dance, acrobatics and the nimbleness required in a pirate’s life, she is highly agile. She could easily be on par with a world class gymnast; a backwards cartwheel into a handstand would be child’s play for her. This agility also helps her in climbing surfaces very well, a common thing when sneaking into a person’s home to “acquire” items that interest her. <--- Hmmm ... interesting. She is a world-class gymnast? Nice. My only critique of this aside from the red word is that it would not so much help her come into fortune, but rather flee the scene of where said fortune came from. Nicely written.

Great Depth Perception: The nickname given to her by the Crimson Blades, Deadeye, stems from Synder's ability to see clearly at long distances. This feat has on more than one occasion steered a ship from danger and brought them ashore safely when all hope was lost. This has also assisted the elf in reading the stars as to help plot courses for long sea voyages. In fact, this is the attribute that Arkan found most favorable and many still do to this day. Wow, just wow. Excellent eyesight, throwing knives and boingy-boingy ... now that's a juicy trifecta.

Throwing Knives: With the rogue’s uncanny depth perception and years of training with the Rover’s, Synder is a master of the throwing knife. Against a stationary target she could easily pin a loose part of a person’s clothing to a wall or knock an item from a resting place, at distances of about 20 peds. When used hand to hand the pirate’s deadliness with them is barely diminished. Most of the knives she uses are well-worn to fit her firm grasp, as they fulfill a multitude of uses in her daily life. Being a knife carrier myself, I can vouch for this last statement. All that and a bag of chips with it she is if Synder can pin my shirt or jacket to the wall from sixty-five feet. That's pretty good use of a knife right there, I must say.

Stealth: The Black Butterfly Rovers taught her many skills in the arts of stealth and infiltration. This allows Synder to sneak among the shadows of the night and strike unwary opponents from hiding. She could simply pass a person not paying attention within two peds on a dimly lit street, with little fear of being heard. This skill has been used in sneaking aboard other vessels at sea and committing sabotage. Stealth is one of those nasty things you have to train by actually doing it, so this is pretty feasible.

Longsword: Although the longsword on Synder’s hip looks well-worn it is not a weapon she uses often. It may be true she could face off with another scallywag and possibly come out victorious. Odds are against her standing up to a well trained opponent for any amount of time. The blade is used more to imply threats than to engage others in mortal combat. To say she is anymore than decent with it would be a farce, though a snarl now and then might help with the fear factor. Feasible. She is over a century old and that equates to about thirty-two years of human life if I'm not mistaken.

Roguish Nature: Her ability to pick elaborate locks and the pockets of others is phenomenal; her agility and hand eye coordination makes such things almost second nature. This has left many enemies, patrons and merchants light in the purse after meeting Synder. She does not steal from those that could not afford such a loss and has been notorious to give such ill-gotten gains to charity and churches. I'm sorry, I must ask this. Why would a thief and killer with alcohol and gambling as bad habits donate a nickle to a church? Is it that she feels she's erasing her bad Karma with this act? This could make for something very interesting about a pirate.

Pearl Diver: Synder is a fantastic swimmer and use to diving for pearls in many ports. Amongst the Crimson Blades she could dive further than all men aboard which gained her much respect. Although I'm not a mod, I would love to read more about this if you've got it. I feel a questioning look on my face right now. How long can she hold her breath? How deep can she go?


Weaknesses
Alcoholic: Alcoholism is one of Synders greatest weaknesses, she goes through long periods of withdrawal when forced to be without it. She sometimes becomes violent towards those that keep her from a drink. Even then she returns to it wholeheartedly when it is about, leaving her a prisoner when there is revelry and merriment to be had. (Aaaack! Double spacing. LOL) As of present she is a functioning alcoholic yet she slides deeper and deeper into the sickness as the decades pass. Nice! I have a character that's a massive alcoholic. I think you know him ...

Extremely Illiterate: She is illiterate to an extreme and can only recognize places by name that she has been to often. This has affected her speech and manners, causing others to view her as dim-witted or uncouth at times. (Delete double space, please.) Anything outside of an informal gathering often times leaves her far from fitting in. Destructive to her social life, check. Makes people feel she is lesser, check. Weakness, check!

Wanted: She is renowned for taking the valuables from the upper class just before her departure, in more than a few seaport cities there are those that would take her life for what she has done. Wanted posters have been posted for Synder for near two decades and a few bounty hunters would joyfully collect on such a prize. This is especially true around the southern coast of Sarvonia, although not limited to this area. Even other cutthroats might still harbor animosity towards the pirate. Uh oh! Mercenaries, they make the world go 'round. Not all bounty hunters operate within the law, some are ... self employed I think would be the term. Good job!

Transient Friends: Her free spirit has caused Synder to move about much of her life. She has numerous times moved on when people got close to her. Leaving her without many friends and hurting more than a few scorned lovers. It is rare for the elfess to have people that she calls true allies; generally she loses them almost as quickly as she gains them. Having friends that you aren't close to sucks. Points for originality.

Black Butterfly Rover: Synder openly exhibits the tattoo of the Black Butterfly Rovers, causing many others to distrust her and even more often than not to be accused of evil acts she did not commit. Great weakness, but please break it down in to two or three sentences. I feel this one is a run-on.

Gambler: She is an addicted gambler, often times squandering away any wealth she has acquired. The decades of thievery and piracy would usually make a person extremely wealthy, yet Synder gambles it away like it were in endless supply. Gambling is a bad habit. I've actually stopped hanging around people because they were extreme gamblers and it was starting to rub off on me. I can personally back this one up. Gambling is in many ways a severe character flaw.

*Pop* Ouch!: A minor accident as a young child dislocated the Rover’s left knee, leaving her bedridden for nigh a month. As the swelling slowly began to subside it was evident what she had done and her father hastily pressed the misaligned knee back into place. Oddly enough the bone continues to pop out of place at random times, yet Synder has learned how to reset it with an audible snap. The young elf has even learned how to displace it with the same perceptible results. Her frequent exhibition of this nifty trick to all the local boys, as they traveled, was a matter of great enjoyment with hearty laughs and cringes of pain. Unbeknownst to the elfess this little show she habitually put on has weakened the joint even more than the initial injury. Ouch is right. I agree with Azhira on one point that this would hinder her agility greatly and that seems counter-productive. Maybe a different weakness, like hand cramps from the years of tightly clenching those pesky lockpick tools. How about her nose was cut off in a fight some years ago? My best to you!

Final thought: I see no issues with balance here, although my say isn't final. It is my belief this character is ready for first approval and has plausible skills. Congratulations on a job well done. Also, very interesting character. Until next time, take care of yourself and each other.
Logged

"Darkness, are we only strangers? Deliver me your sweet kiss, I beg. Mind and body of mine are yours to comand." - ßlüdde LëRoí
Synder Nytefall
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Elf - Butterfly Rover


« Reply #12 on: November 20, 2009, 06:30:22 AM »

Quote
Why would a thief and killer with alcohol and gambling as bad habits donate a nickle to a church? Is it that she feels she's erasing her bad Karma with this act?
She just knows what it is like to live on the streets alone, so she endeavors to help other children in this way.
Quote
She is over a century old and that equates to about thirty-two years of human life if I'm not mistaken.
I raised this question in the Admin forum. The calculator says near a 50 year old human, which I find to be inaccurate. If I may be so bold as to assume, I would guess closer to 26ish.
Quote
Ouch is right. I agree with Azhira on one point that this would hinder her agility greatly and that seems counter-productive.
Aren't weaknesses suppose to be counterproductive? A knee injury is also more inline with a character that uses them extensively. It is also a stronger weakness as it afflicts a multitude of her strengths that she depends on for living.
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“Every normal woman must be tempted at times, to spit on her hands,
hoist the black flag and begin slitting throats.”
ßluddε LëRoí
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« Reply #13 on: November 20, 2009, 07:44:33 AM »

Thanks for clarifying those, Synder. My only thing about the knee injury is this: Weaknesses are to hinder in some way, not completely negate your strengths. It is ultimately your decision to keep it or not. Wish you the best on a speedy titlement.

Note to Azhira: In the times of Santharia, longswords were very common weapons for people to carry, if they had one. I fail to see how someone like Synder would want to go without a weapon, considering the poor dear has mercenaries after her. Mind you, I see your point about how it reads like a skill, but I really don't see it being one she has. This is completely IMHO. Everyone take care.
« Last Edit: November 20, 2009, 07:50:03 AM by ßlüdde LëRoí » Logged

"Darkness, are we only strangers? Deliver me your sweet kiss, I beg. Mind and body of mine are yours to comand." - ßlüdde LëRoí
Valan Nonesuch
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Human, Erpheronian


« Reply #14 on: November 20, 2009, 09:31:09 AM »

A note to Bludde here actually, Santharia is set in some sort of renaissance period. Courtiers and other "civilians" would go armed with something closer to a rapier than a longsword, a type of cut and thrust sword. They look to be a lighter sword than a traditional longsword, and a bit shorter. Image for reference and the ARMA page on sword styles and shapes for comparison.

A quick point, you can't really apply a superlative (extremely in this case) to illiterate. I have to say that the weakness there looks like "I am super not able to read" which makes no sense. Skill at reading, and writing can of course change, but the word illiteracy itself is not subject to modification. It's endsville.
« Last Edit: November 20, 2009, 09:50:44 AM by Valan Nonesuch » Logged

Do not act incautiously when confronting little bald wrinkly smiling men!
Valan Nonesuch
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