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Author Topic: Markus Boadicea - Erpheronian - Highway man  (Read 8311 times)
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Valan Nonesuch
Collector of Lore
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Human, Erpheronian


« Reply #15 on: March 06, 2010, 07:14:39 AM »

Since you don't appear to have integrated the comments made by Kalina and Ridgen, either because you haven't or because you have not coloured the edits, I'm changing your icon back to a pencil.
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Valan Nonesuch
Markus Boadicea
The Lonely Wanderer
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Human, Erpheronian


« Reply #16 on: March 09, 2010, 08:23:07 PM »

Love your comments, just one thing.

 5'10'' at 220 lbs is not light. That gives him a BMI (Body Mass Index) of 31, which qualifies as obese. A BMI of 18 and lower is considered underweight, but this does not take muscle mass or bone structure into consideration. Since your character has big shoulders and is strong enough to take down travelers, I suggest a weight of ~150 lbs (BMI=21.5) to achieve a reasonable level of emaciation.

I experimented with this a bit because I wasn't taught imperial measurements and felt like something was off. It turns out that:

2 pygges = 1 Hundred Weight, 7 Stones, 10 Pounds, 7 Ounces (Imperial)

1 Hundred Weight, 7 Stones, 10 Pounds, 7 Ounces =  1 Pygge, 9 Hebs, 1 Hafeb, 4 Ods, 10 Mut  (Santharian)

1 Pygge, 9 Hebs, 1 Hafeb, 4 Ods, 10 Mut = 99 Kilograms, 953 Grams. (Metric, finally!)


I can't say for certain, but I think 99 Kilograms, 953 Grams. Roughly 100 KG, which is around the typical adult body mass.
Additionally 150 pounds equals 68 Kilograms which is normal in 11 or 12 year olds, but is not so common in 37 year old men.

But everything else was brilliant, don't second guess yourself 8D.
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No one holds command over me. No man. No god. No prince. What is a claim of age for ones who are immortal? What is a claim of power for ones who defy death? Call your damnable hunt. We shall see who I drag screaming to hell with me.

http://www.santharia.com/adv/index.php?topic=7491.0
Sylvia Palinor
Masked Huntress
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Half-elf-Tethinrhim/Avennorian


« Reply #17 on: March 13, 2010, 11:48:58 AM »

Hey there Markus, are you finished with edits? If so, please change you icon to the '!'.
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"Sympathy is a luxury I simply cannot afford, for in the death of others do I make my living."

Sylvia Palinor
Riodan and Khierah
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« Reply #18 on: March 13, 2010, 11:56:35 AM »

I'm a fully grown man, and I have to dispute your assertation that 100kgs is a healthy weight for a fully grown man who is about 5'10". This is approximately my height. When I was that weight, I was obese, not just overweight but obese. I'm currently down approximately 10 kgs on that and am just slightly out of the obese range. I have another 10 - 15 kgs to go (to get to 75 kgs or there abouts). Which all the evidence suggests is a healthy weight for a fully grown man of approximately 5'10".

Also, we prefer that you do not use decimals in your heights/weights. Please change that, and use the smaller Santharian measurements in addition to peds.
« Last Edit: March 13, 2010, 12:03:18 PM by Riodan and Khierah » Logged

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Markus Boadicea
The Lonely Wanderer
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« Reply #19 on: March 14, 2010, 12:59:42 AM »

Damn it all.

Well it did my research on the weight matter. ( it turns out that it is kind of difficult to locate a website that states the average weight of a human being )
eHow says it is around 100-200lbs. So what is that 45-90kg? ( What is people's problem with metric measurements, it's insane)

Come on buddy I was 10 KG off. Plus you have to take into consideration the differences in body type. For example, I am 84 kg and still in my adolescent years and yet I am slender. Very tall, but slender.
I can say with some degree of certainty that there have been some 100kg males that have not been obese. Such people my be tall or well muscled, which body types there is no one size fits all.

I am sorry if this is taking longer then it should but you guys keep switching between Imperial, Santharian and Metric. I only know metric, so it is a bit hard to understand other forms of measurement.

I will get to the decimal thing right away.
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No one holds command over me. No man. No god. No prince. What is a claim of age for ones who are immortal? What is a claim of power for ones who defy death? Call your damnable hunt. We shall see who I drag screaming to hell with me.

http://www.santharia.com/adv/index.php?topic=7491.0
Malexia Vendu
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« Reply #20 on: March 14, 2010, 01:28:05 AM »

This weight issue shouldn't have come to such a debate. It is really not a big deal!

@ Markus - Simply choose a weight that you think is best. Use the Santharian measurement converter to convert metric to Santharian measurements and you're all set.
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Riodan and Khierah
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« Reply #21 on: March 14, 2010, 05:31:06 AM »

Malexia is correct, and so are you, Markus. As Malexia said, just choose a weight ... it'll be fine. Sorry for adding to the confusion. I can only go by my own experiences with such things :)
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heart heart Once there was an elf and a dwarf who met and fell in love. heart heart
heart heart No, it isn't a fairy tale, read all about The Mismatched Lovebirds heart heart
heart heart and enjoy their love story. heart heart
Markus Boadicea
The Lonely Wanderer
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« Reply #22 on: March 14, 2010, 01:49:42 PM »

It's perfectly fine, let's just move on.
First matter of business is to finish editing.
Expect completion of this task within 2-6 hours.
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No one holds command over me. No man. No god. No prince. What is a claim of age for ones who are immortal? What is a claim of power for ones who defy death? Call your damnable hunt. We shall see who I drag screaming to hell with me.

http://www.santharia.com/adv/index.php?topic=7491.0
Markus Boadicea
The Lonely Wanderer
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« Reply #23 on: March 14, 2010, 05:30:04 PM »

Ready for comments
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No one holds command over me. No man. No god. No prince. What is a claim of age for ones who are immortal? What is a claim of power for ones who defy death? Call your damnable hunt. We shall see who I drag screaming to hell with me.

http://www.santharia.com/adv/index.php?topic=7491.0
Malexia Vendu
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« Reply #24 on: March 15, 2010, 11:24:20 PM »

Hi Markus,

Your Personality and History sections give no indication of what they are. I read a story, but I have no idea what your personality really is. Or where and when you were born. Please read other CDs for an idea of how to write these sections. Otherwise, the rest of the CD looks good so far.
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Markus Boadicea
The Lonely Wanderer
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« Reply #25 on: March 20, 2010, 12:06:14 PM »

Done the history and personality sections. It's depressing, no? Ah, I will let you guys decide that.
I need to flesh out the history section because at the moment all I have is the bare outline of it.
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No one holds command over me. No man. No god. No prince. What is a claim of age for ones who are immortal? What is a claim of power for ones who defy death? Call your damnable hunt. We shall see who I drag screaming to hell with me.

http://www.santharia.com/adv/index.php?topic=7491.0
Cyradin Lawabel
Masterful Merchant
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« Reply #26 on: March 20, 2010, 03:26:29 PM »

A question for you ... how did you get yourself a R'unorian cavalry crossbow? They are from islands on the far side of Santharia to where your tribe is located.

Also, it is probably worth considering changing the list you have in your personality section to prose. Normally, CD Mods tend to like that.
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Chasing Rabbits!
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Markus Boadicea
The Lonely Wanderer
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« Reply #27 on: March 20, 2010, 03:42:55 PM »

I am not familiar with the word Prose. I looked it up in the dictionary, which of these do you mean?

1.
the ordinary form of spoken or written language, without metrical structure, as distinguished from poetry or verse.
2.
matter-of-fact, commonplace, or dull expression, quality, discourse, etc.
3.
Liturgy. a hymn sung after the gradual, originating from a practice of setting words to the jubilatio of the alleluia.
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No one holds command over me. No man. No god. No prince. What is a claim of age for ones who are immortal? What is a claim of power for ones who defy death? Call your damnable hunt. We shall see who I drag screaming to hell with me.

http://www.santharia.com/adv/index.php?topic=7491.0
Cyradin Lawabel
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« Reply #28 on: March 20, 2010, 03:51:22 PM »

oh sorry ... I meant to say in sentences instead of as a list.
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Chasing Rabbits!
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Athviaro Shyu-eck-Silfayr
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« Reply #29 on: March 20, 2010, 04:38:36 PM »

Prose is perfectly correct in this instance, and the 1st meaning you have would be the closest. What Cyr meant was that you should write it like anything else rather than as a list.

However, do not get confused by meaning 2. Although as far as it goes it is all right, to be "prosey" means to use quite onstentatious language that is not poetry. It used to have a stricter meaning.
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I warn you, if you bore me, I shall take my revenge -- JRR Tolkein

Athviaro Shyu-eck-Silfayr
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