* 
Welcome Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?


*
gfxgfx Home Forum Help Search Calendar Login Register   gfxgfx
gfx gfx
gfx
Embed Maximize


Newbies, read these!

Character Creation
FAQs
Restrictions

Main Site
Portraits
Rules
Story Creation
Racial Crossbreeding
Magic

Contact
Tips and Tricks
IRC Chat
Measures Converter
Elven Aging Calculator
Pages: [1] 2 3   Go Down
Print
Author Topic: Klyff Tylssen/Meladrhim elves/leatherworker  (Read 5264 times)
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
Klyff Tylssen
Harshened Nomad
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 119


Elf, Meladrhim


« on: March 08, 2010, 11:03:20 AM »

Hey everyone, Ive been looking at this site for about a week, and decided to try it out. hope you guys like it!

Name: Klyff Tylssen
Gender: Male
Age: 213, approximately 26 by human aging
Race: Elven
Tribe: Meladrhim
Occupation: Leather worker
Title: Harshened Nomad

Appearance:
Height: one ped, two fores, two palmspans, and eight nailsbreadths.
Weight: one pygge, four hebs, one od
Hair Color: A uniform Korwyn gold
Eye color: A deep blue, closest to Xazure
The harshness in the nomadic life has changed Klyff's appearance dramatically. Constantly being cold by the lack of clothing has changed his skin to be rough, hardened. His constant struggling and hunting for food has increased his strength, forming broad shoulders giving way to muscular arms and large hands and thick legs with no inch of fat. three and a half palsmapns worth of hair flow down past his shoulders. forlorn eyes and wrinkles around his face give him a large look of weariness even when not so. A broad chest comes down to skinny belly, again with not an inch of fat. A tattoo on his arm depicts a spear, running from his left shoulder and the tip ending just before the wrist. other tattoos of the famed Meladrhim linework are on various parts of his body, but the only ones noticeable are on his right shoulder and the palm of his right hand. scars etch across his body where branches and rocks have struck him. A large scar across the top of his hand, a palmspan in length, is on his left hand where an animal had once slashed at him while on a hunting trip.

Clothing: Klyff uses clothing that is practical, as do most Meladrhim elves, but tries to put in some forms of wealth, To try to fit in and humor humans. He wears Eophran trousers, adorned on the sides by Melad linework done by Klyff himself. he has leather boots with wooden soles. An undershirt is sometimes worn in colder conditions, also Eophran, and has sleeves from the shoulder to mid forearm. A vest is nearly always worn. He has a few, but most are a rich Adlemirene or Sognastheen. Gloves he made himself are worn many times, fingertips cut off to provide better grips, they protect his writs and go up pat the elbows to protect them as well. an assortment of bracelets are worn, many made himself. One that he appreciates the most has a large ore on the top and animal
teeth around it. A belt is worn with various pouches and a small pack e uses exclusively for a town of four house cards. A sling is worn on his back for his spear and a sheath at his waist for a small dirk.

Personality: Klyff has a personality that views things in a very practical an in-humorous way. He does not take jokes extremely well and speaks to others seriously nearly all the time. He is good hearted, and will not let a friend down. He will be generous with what he has, and is very friendly, but lack of communication skills makes it hard to make good  and trustful friends.

Outside of communication, he is fairly confident with himself, with a high self-esteem, arrogantly so at times. He tries to keep to his word and finishes what he starts. He is closer to nature, more outgoing, and though he visits cities he dislikes them. He  is open-minded, and takes others opinions into account, and is fairly trusting.

Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths: Spear wielding: years of hunting with this trusty weapon and practicing on trees and such have made him fairly experienced with the spear. Though he has not fought any intelligent foes, he has kept himself away from many beasts, and could probably take on the everyday mugger and thug.

Leather working: A trait that is not only useful as a job, this skill has helped Klyff live as long as he has. He can make many clothes from many different hides, and has made himself and others various apparels that are not only good looking, but warm and practical.

Card games: Though not much of strength in life, Klyff has become nearly obsessed with the four houses card games, and has made friends with people over a game of cards. He knows many games, as the only two he doesn't are Alliances and Under the Tower. He can teach all the other games to people and have good fun with them.

Tharian: Traveling in Kuglimz lands for many years, Klyff has taught himself some simple phrases of Tharian so that he could communicate with those around him. He only know simple phrases, but it is enough for people to understand.

Weaknesses: Communication skills: Or lack of. Klyff can make some acquaintances fairly easily, over a game of cards or through basic skills and generosity, but has difficulty relinquishing emotions and showing sympathy. He is hard to confide in and is difficult to make deep friends with.

Wounded hand: On a hunting trip, an animal slashed at Klyff, and scored a point on his left hand. The cut was deep and permanently scarred Klyff. Though it is not enough to cost him a fight, the constant pain in his hand is a large annoyance.

Claustrophobic: Living as a nomad all his life, Klyff has become accustomed with the wide expanses of land, causing a deep claustrophobia. Having a sickness for staying in one place for too long and living in confined spaces, Klyff has been known to sleep out under the stars then in a warm room in a tavern.

History: Born under the trees of the Shaded Forest, Klyff saw his mother for the first time. This was brief as she put him in a cradle on her back and kept walking. As with this example, Klyff was already a nomad. For years he traveled with his family, through harsh times and through friendly times. You win some, you lose some, as they say, and Klyff had that kind of life.

Nearly as soon as he was born they left the Shaded Forest and kept on their migration northwards. Later that day they set up camp, and Klyff had his first glimpse of the home he would have. Not much of a home, as it kept moving, but his instinct took over, and he rarely liked to stay at one place for a long time. Klyff was well taken care of, kept warm by whatever clothing or blankets they had, and ate and slept nicely. In childhood, Klyff was treated respectfully and morally. Of course, when he had done something wrong, severe punishment was implemented. He was taught to be fair in all aspects.

As soon as Klyff was old enough, he started taking on responsibilities. Around his early 20s, he started to help his mother with casual chores, packing up for migration, cooking, and such. His father was just beginning to teach him how to hunt, and Klyff naturally picked up on that. His father was proud of his natural skill, but did not show it. His standard gruff manner was kept intact. But Klyff picked up on the pride, and dwelled on it.

In later years, as Klyff was just becoming 29, he was taken on his first hunting trip, He had trained with the spear awhile, and was fairly confident in himself to find some good game. Scouting on the plains near the Themed'lon forests, hunters spotted a group of Hargive deer, and immediately gave chase. The group of hunter split into two groups of eight, one going northward ahead of the deer, the other heading straight towards it.

Klyff headed with the northern group and they hid behind various shrubbery as they watched the southern group approach the deer directly in front of them. Then the group rushed, first jogging, then sprinting towards the deer. Following their nature, the deer immediately sprang directly away from the hunters and ran straight towards Klyff's group.

Close to twenty feet away from the norther hunters, they sprang out and aimed their spears down at the rushing deer and gave chase. The deer nearly collided with them and many were killed immediately. others managed to turn and run west. These the hunters ignored. As Klyff was running towards the deer, he stabbed at one and missed, and as the deer was rushing onwards, it swiped it's head and caused a deep gash in Klyff's hand. Klyff managed to turn and slash the deer, wounding it, but it still sprinted away with it.

As Klyff's father regrouped with them, he quickly turned to Klyff and bandaged the deep gash he had, stopping the blood from flowing, which was already over Klyff's clothing. They walked back towards the tribe, and Klyff's father took the spear from Klyff and urged him not to use his hand for the time being.

They traveled back to the camp then, and Klyff was noticing that the pain had not subsided, even a week later. It was excruciatingly painful to grip anything, and when not it a constant sting was annoying him. But he lived with it, as it was not too horrible.

Several years later Klyff still had the wound, but that wasn't important anymore. The pain subsided to only an annoying sting, and he could live normally. around 62 years of life Klyff's mother was expecting children soon. Klyff wasn't sure of this, and did not want to be weighed down with the stresses of children. He actually wanted to travel even more freely. The migration pattern the Meladrhim had adopted was beginning to be to routine, even when they didn't stay at one place for long. They visited the same place, had the same tents, hunted the same areas. It was just to slow for Klyff.

So he left. at 63 years of age Klyff left his family. He didn't leave unexpectedly, he told his kin of what he planned. He would visit them, he knew of the pattern and would meet up at certain areas. He told his mother, and though she was disappointed, she reluctantly let him go. He was old enough to think for himself now.

His father kept his gruff manner, but was also saddened when Klyff told him of his plans. But rather then just let him leave, his father gave him advice and materials to keep himself alive. First of was his spear. Klyff made it himself, but his father kept it with the other weapons in the packs. Then, surprisingly to Klyff, his father gave him a leather working set, equipped with all the tools to skin, tan, beat, and shape leather into fine clothing.

His father's advice with the set made sense, Klyff needed clothing and was adept at hunting. He did not have much money himself, of course, so he couldn't purchase any at local towns. So his father gave it to him so Klyff could teach himself to make warm clothing.

Klyff traveled erratically, with no sense of direction. He knew where he was going, but he had no route. He visited local taverns, where he had his first taste of the brew, and greeted many people. He had some friends, but as he travelled everwhere, he could not make close friends for long. No matter how long he stayed at a town or tavern, he was anxious to leave.

It was during his later years, 147 to be exact, that he had his first game of cards. These cards were magnificent indeed. The town of Four Houses cards were beautiful, with clear artwork and fun games. It was at a local tavern in Lu'Weilima that a trader was showing of these cards. It peeked Klyff's curiosity, and he went up to the trader to ask him about the cards. Rather then tell a price, the trader offered a game.

The game was Full Cottages, and it was the first time Klyff had ever played. He was taught by the trader, and as the cards were dealed, Klyff admired the artwork of the hand painted wooden cards. He looked at them, and realized by the rules that his hand wasn't very good. He played, and was intrigued by the others moves.

The trader won. It was fairly easy to predict. At the last moment, the trader drew a Fire Prince, and his hand was out. Klyff was respectful though, shook hands with the trader, and thanked him for the game. As he was leaving, the trader called out the price, "Ten san for the cards!'

Klyff stopped in his tracks. The cards proved to be very fun, and he wanted to learn the other games the trader spoke of. He wanted to grow more experienced with them, and they would be a great conversation starter. He looked at his pouch and realized ten san would be pushing him for food that night, so he figured he could bargain the merchant. Taking gloves he had crafted with his leatherworking, he told the merchant he would give him these gloves, lined with warm fur, and 5 san for the town of cards. The deal was quickly accepted.

Stopping by with the others, he was urged to come home. Occasionally Klyff would stay with them and travel for a few months with them, but he would leave on his own exploration. Stopping by larger towns every now and then, he surprised the few friends he had with his presence. He kept exploring and kept finding new things, and that is most likely what he is doing right now.

Weapons: A spear made by Klyff, the shaft made of a hard wood reaching up a ped and two fores before giving way to a beautiful but wicked looking blade, a full 7 nailsbreadths wide and 3 palmspans long.

A small dirk he crafted to help him cut and craft things. more of a tool then a weapon, but can still stab.

Belongings: A town of four house cards
A small leather working set he can carry on his back.
A bracelet with a large ore.

Comments appreciated!
« Last Edit: April 19, 2010, 03:38:05 PM by Altario Shialt-eck-Gorrin » Logged

The world is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page. - Saint Augustine
Klyff Tylssen
Harshened Nomad
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 119


Elf, Meladrhim


« Reply #1 on: March 09, 2010, 09:42:59 AM »

Modifications complete, history is done and Im ready for comments and criticism No idea
Logged

The world is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page. - Saint Augustine
Malexia Vendu
Tainted Flame
CD Mod
****
Offline Offline

Posts: 426


Human, Centoraurian


« Reply #2 on: March 10, 2010, 01:11:50 AM »

Quote
Low wealth: as with being a nomad, most trades were done with items rather then currency. through traveling Klyff has gotten some money, and can buy the occasional drink, but he does not have quite as much as he would like. Instead, he tries to find ways with his leather working.

Hi there! Welcome to Santharia. I can see you have a fairly well balanced character. Good job!  Thumb up I will mention this last weakness is probably not so much a weakness because most people in this world are of low wealth. You must compare yourself to a simple peasant who likely has very few coins. And, it is no surprise that a nomad would have little money.
Logged

Anirdulf Svanskjun
Helvíl Helvíliás
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Posts: 122


Human, Avennorian


« Reply #3 on: March 10, 2010, 02:03:54 AM »

Welcome to Santharia from me as well!

Not really a quibble with the actual CD, but just that a lot of your writing is slightly ungrammatical  - things like capital letters etc. It's not going to cost you an approval (I hope!) but the CD would read much more easily if you fixed that up.

Thats all for now.

Looking forward to the finished product.

Anirdulf

PS: If you want a hint, try writing it in Word, which does most of that automatically.
Logged

We are all eased out of kids' dreams -
Who can be ripped out of them and live loving after?
Anirdulf Svanskjun
Fáiorríl
Fallen Grey
Mini-mod
***
Offline Offline

Posts: 192


Mélad'rhim


Homepage
« Reply #4 on: March 10, 2010, 03:11:03 AM »

Hello Klyff, and welcome to Santharia! :)
Overall this seems to be a good character, but there are a few inconsistencies that stand out to me.


1. You have referenced places and animals from Southern Sarvonia. The Bolder Forest and the territory of the Steppe Deer are both beneath the Tandala Highlands, an unpassable barrier between the north and the south. The only way to get passed the Tandala Highlands is by sailing, and as we both know, the Mélad'rhim do not believe in exploring the sea. Please find places and animals appropriate to the Mélad'rhim's territory.

2.Your description of the hunt is unrealistic and inaccurate.

- Firstly, I do not understand how your character, after the deer had been running for an hour, magically appeared in the trees beside it and managed to sneak up. I assume the deer would have had to have been resting for a while before he arrived, since tracking takes time and he is still just a teenager, and where was the rest of his tribe? Maybe you should describe how he tracked it down and found it resting? Rather than suddenly jumping out of the woods as soon as it stops running?

- Even though the Steppe Deer is no longer applicable to your history due to its location, most of what you described about the chase contradicts its nature. Particularly this: "Steppe Deers are not very good sprinters, but they can easily outrun a human on the steppes, or a horse in the mountains. Steppe Deers can keep running for several hours if necessary, so if you don’t catch them at the sprint, it is not easy to get them at all." Little details like that are good to pay attention to, and in the future you should remain true to the information provided on the site.

- Then there is the issue about the hunt in general. The Grey Elves do not hunt regularly, and if they have to they go after the old or sick animals of a herd, not the first one they see. They "are loathed to take life from an animal," but your character displayed none of this and instead angrily calls it a 'bastard' and stabs it some more. If that is a result of a character flaw, boyhood ignorance or lack of training, then it should be regarded as so and corrected by his elders.

3. You have listed 'hunter' as one of his occupations, but have not added it as a strength. Please do so. I would also like to see reference to both occupations in his later history, so we can see how he makes a living while traveling around.

4. I find your personality section very brief and difficult to understand. Perhaps rephrase what you have written and elaborate a little, so that other players can have a good understanding of who he is. Aim for at least two paragraphs, if you can.

5. Please move the height, weight, hair colour and eye color above the appearance section, formatted the same as the other listings.

6. I am unsure about the likelihood of your tribe being within the territory of the Injerin elves, the Shaded Forest, but I will leave that to the judgment of another mod.

7. One last thing to point out... The north is an incredibly dangerous place full of monsters, orcs and beasts, and a lone (young!) elf is at great risk of being killed or eaten - especially since there is a lot of wild area between settlements. You might consider traveling among groups.

That concludes my list of nitpickings :)
~Faio~

Logged

Fáiorríl (Currently under reconstruction)
Join me for some tea. Viewer Discretion is Vaguely Advised.
Klyff Tylssen
Harshened Nomad
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 119


Elf, Meladrhim


« Reply #5 on: March 11, 2010, 09:23:45 AM »

Thanks for the replies guys. I'll take in mind what you have said and Ill make the corrections!
Logged

The world is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page. - Saint Augustine
Klyff Tylssen
Harshened Nomad
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 119


Elf, Meladrhim


« Reply #6 on: March 11, 2010, 09:27:21 AM »

Faiorril, if I may dispute what I you have said about the steppe deer, I am pretty sure that the Bolder forest is on a peninsula in northern Sarvonia. I checked again, and it pretty much confirmed this for me. I do not know about the Tandala highlands or where it is located, so I will look at that. As for the description of the hunt, I will get to that.

EDIT: checked the Tandala highlands and the bolder forest once more. Seemed to have gotten messed up somewhere Sorry, Faiorril.
« Last Edit: March 11, 2010, 09:29:47 AM by Klyff Tylssen » Logged

The world is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page. - Saint Augustine
Klyff Tylssen
Harshened Nomad
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 119


Elf, Meladrhim


« Reply #7 on: March 11, 2010, 10:23:59 AM »

Modifications complete. Redid hunter scene in history, took hunter occupation out and showed example fo leatherworking, extended personality, moved height and weight descrips. Ready for comments again.
Logged

The world is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page. - Saint Augustine
Malexia Vendu
Tainted Flame
CD Mod
****
Offline Offline

Posts: 426


Human, Centoraurian


« Reply #8 on: March 11, 2010, 11:11:35 PM »

Don't forget my comment above, about the wealth weakness?

 ;)
Logged

Klyff Tylssen
Harshened Nomad
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 119


Elf, Meladrhim


« Reply #9 on: March 12, 2010, 12:43:14 AM »

ah yes, sorry I meant to ask you about that. I meant that because he was a nomad and di most trades through items, his money is low. A peasant, how much money does he have? if the average person is poor, then I'll take it out, but that also seems to me that many people's roleplay in this game does not show that, and if it is not a weakness for me to have average amount, then shouldn't it be a strength for others? Also, how much money is average with this currency? for example, most people in the us, have arund 60, maybe 80 bucks int here wallet, how much does the average person in santharia have in their's?
« Last Edit: March 12, 2010, 12:47:37 AM by Klyff Tylssen » Logged

The world is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page. - Saint Augustine
Sývaein Sorossa
Scintillating Firestarter
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Posts: 58


Human, Erpheronian


« Reply #10 on: March 12, 2010, 12:52:00 AM »

People count the strengths they think matter.

Consider for a second that most characters who play this game are just as nomadic as yours. Adventurers, traveling performers, craftsmen. There are exceptions to this rule, but for the most part they will be wondering as much as the next person "Where the heck am I going to sleep tonight" and "how much food do I have". Strengths exist to compensate for this, but if you spend 5 days out of 7 moving from one place to the next, that is 5 days out of 7 you don't spend making money, savvy? And unlike the average peasant, who has land which he can grow crops on which, assuming he can't sell them, he can eat (failing all else) the ragtag band of mercenaries, ne'er-do-wells, adventurers and other vagabonds that make up the character base does not.

Think about it.
Logged

The world will end in beautiful prose
And terrible fire
Just because it should
Klyff Tylssen
Harshened Nomad
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 119


Elf, Meladrhim


« Reply #11 on: March 12, 2010, 12:56:02 AM »

Then may I ask why the roleplay I have looked as does not show people act as such? that has not really answered my question. you have said that most people on this site don't have much means of making money, so why do I see people buying drinks and rooms in the taverns and saying it doesn't mean much? I would think that if everyone was poor, and 5 out of 7 days they didnt make money at all, then even a drink would be hard to come up with the money. If we are to compare ourselves wiht a normal peasant, then shouldn't we list having money to buy things with, as I have seen in the roleplay, as strength? Thank you for considering and the comments.
Logged

The world is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page. - Saint Augustine
Valan Nonesuch
Collector of Lore
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 671


Human, Erpheronian


« Reply #12 on: March 12, 2010, 01:05:33 AM »

Sam Coleridge was a very smart man kindly read the link, and consider the possibility that this is all fiction. We haven't had problems to date with the way things work. If it ain't broke don't fix it and all that.

Now, if you're willing to suspend that disbelief for the sake of a bit of fun, you should get along fine.
Logged

Do not act incautiously when confronting little bald wrinkly smiling men!
Valan Nonesuch
Klyff Tylssen
Harshened Nomad
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 119


Elf, Meladrhim


« Reply #13 on: March 12, 2010, 01:49:51 AM »

Valan, I must say that that is a very interesting theory, and I suppose if you use that theory you could get away with the roleplay I have seen, but otherwise I think that is a dodge to my question. nonetheless, I think I could just change the weakness and think of something new. Thanks for the comments on the issue.
Logged

The world is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page. - Saint Augustine
Malexia Vendu
Tainted Flame
CD Mod
****
Offline Offline

Posts: 426


Human, Centoraurian


« Reply #14 on: March 12, 2010, 02:36:53 AM »

Hi Klyff,

I'll try to explain what I mean by wealth. I agree, you do raise some good questions about the RP aspect. Most times, when a character has no money, they end up buying tavern drinks and other assorted things in a story that contradicts their supposed "poverty". But, we are not very strict about this. The story moderators do not make an issue about this because it ruins the fun by being so nitpicky.

The average person in Santharia is poor. They can afford drinks, basic foods and tools, but not much else. A nomad who travels alot would have no steady income of money, so by your very nature of being a nomad, you are considered poor. That would not be a weakness because everyone knows nomads are poor.

I would change that weakness to something else. Maybe you have an addiction? Or a bad habit that makes people not like you. There are many weaknesses you can use. Try looking at other approved CDs for ideas. Let us know if we can help further.
Logged

Pages: [1] 2 3   Go Up
Print
Jump to:  

Recent Posts
[July 23, 2019, 07:02:29 PM]

[July 23, 2019, 07:02:23 PM]

[June 28, 2019, 02:11:14 PM]

[June 28, 2019, 02:10:53 PM]

[August 01, 2018, 03:13:13 PM]

[June 19, 2018, 12:49:51 PM]

[April 28, 2018, 03:44:22 AM]

[April 13, 2018, 06:36:29 AM]

[April 10, 2018, 08:32:04 PM]

[March 09, 2018, 05:45:59 PM]
Members
Total Members: 2835
Latest: Olivesda
Stats
Total Posts: 214556
Total Topics: 8049
Online Today: 68
Online Ever: 216
(November 30, 2006, 09:08:03 AM)
Users Online
Users: 0
Guests: 82
Total: 82

Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2005, Simple Machines
TinyPortal v0.9.8 © Bloc
Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!
Theme based on Cerberus with Risen adjustments by Bloc and Krelia
Modified By Artimidor for The Santharian Dream
gfx
gfxgfx gfxgfx