Welcome
Guest
. Please
login
or
register
.
Did you miss your
activation email?
1 Hour
1 Day
1 Week
1 Month
Forever
Newbies, read these!
Adventures of Caelereth
 
Forum
 
Archives
 
Approved Characters Archive
 
Approved Characters 2010
 
Thaelel Swordmar / Erpheronian / Mercenary
Pages:
1
[
2
]
3
Go Down
Author
Topic: Thaelel Swordmar / Erpheronian / Mercenary (Read 8169 times)
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
Thaelel Swordmar
Path Burner
Approved Character
Offline
Posts: 356
Human, Erpheronian
Re: Thaelel Swordmar / Erpheronian / Mercenary
«
Reply #15 on:
April 04, 2010, 05:07:37 AM »
Quote from: Malexia Vendu on April 04, 2010, 02:24:20 AM
1. Please explain in your history how a Kuglimz would be south of the Tandala region. The Kuglimz people are mainly strictly Northern folk and would be unlikely you would find one in South Sarvonia.
I assume you mean the servants. They were there because in Kuglim lands they were poor and came to Voldar seeking a new life. They became servants to Thaelel's grandfather
2. Explain in your history how you learned the Kuglimz language. See point one above.
That is in my strengths section
3. As a young warrior, it would be very unlikely you would be able to defeat a raid of 12 orcs. You are not super human (nor are you Aragorn...they stuff only happens in movies!
). Realistically, you would defeat maybe 3 orcs by yourself, not 12.
Good point. I will make it 6
4. There are no orcs in Southern Sarvonia except the Volkek and they are peaceful and live far away in Ximax. Most orcen tribes live in North Sarvonia across impassable mountains known as the Tandalas. You could have encountered goblins from the Tandalas on a raiding party though.
Another good point. I will probably make it human bandits
5. How did you learn a little bit of Styrash? You would have to be very good friends with an elf who would teach you. Humans and elves do not encounter each other very often. More likely, you encountered a half-elf who knew some Styrash. Half-elves are rare, but more likely seen among humans.
He learned it from his father who learned it from his father who learned it from the elven smith mentioned in the section about Efér'scál'swordmar
6. Explain in your history why you are afraid of water. It is a good weakness, but please tell us what happened that made you afraid. Were you in a ship wreck as a child? Did you almost drown?
Hydrophobia is irrational, so there is no real need for a reason. However, I may put in something about him and his best friend drinking from an unclean water hole, getting poisoning and the friend dying, with Thaelel only just pulling through
7. Your sword seems very valuable and it is unlikely that a warrior would use a family heirloom in regular battle. I suggest making the sword a little less exotic (and not elven).
It is an heirloom because it is passed down from generation to generation.That does not mean it is a fragile old thing. It is purpose-built for battle, and Thaelel makes use of it.
Thanks for the points. I will address them.
Thaelel
«
Last Edit: April 04, 2010, 04:46:28 PM by Thaelel Swordmar
»
Logged
"Victory is reserved for those who are willing to pay its price."
- Sun Tzu
"Without Knowledge, Skill cannot be focused. Without Skill, Strength cannot be brought to bear and without Strength, Knowledge may not be applied."
-Alexander the Great
Thaelel Swordmar
Path Burner
Thaelel Swordmar
Path Burner
Approved Character
Offline
Posts: 356
Human, Erpheronian
Re: Thaelel Swordmar / Erpheronian / Mercenary
«
Reply #16 on:
April 04, 2010, 04:48:02 PM »
Ok, Malexia's points have been taken into account.
Most recent modifications are in
Brown
Thanks
Thaelel
Logged
"Victory is reserved for those who are willing to pay its price."
- Sun Tzu
"Without Knowledge, Skill cannot be focused. Without Skill, Strength cannot be brought to bear and without Strength, Knowledge may not be applied."
-Alexander the Great
Thaelel Swordmar
Path Burner
Alexandre Scriabin
Music Adept
Approved Character
Offline
Posts: 1376
Human, Erpheronian/ Rhulran
Re: Thaelel Swordmar / Erpheronian / Mercenary
«
Reply #17 on:
April 04, 2010, 05:25:39 PM »
Just for future reference, the next time you finish with your comments, it would be wise to set your CD back to the
Exclamation Icon
.
Logged
The statement below this is false.
The statement above this is true.
Alexandre Scriabin CD
Alexandre Scriabin
Music Adept
Approved Character
Offline
Posts: 1376
Human, Erpheronian/ Rhulran
Re: Thaelel Swordmar / Erpheronian / Mercenary
«
Reply #18 on:
April 04, 2010, 05:29:35 PM »
A quick tidbit for you:
In your entry on his formal clothing, you have detailed that he wears jet black ceremonial armor. What kind of armor is it? Scalemail, platemail, chainmail, etc.
By the way, I hope to see you titled soon.
«
Last Edit: April 04, 2010, 05:30:20 PM by Alexandre Scriabin
»
Logged
The statement below this is false.
The statement above this is true.
Alexandre Scriabin CD
Thaelel Swordmar
Path Burner
Approved Character
Offline
Posts: 356
Human, Erpheronian
Re: Thaelel Swordmar / Erpheronian / Mercenary
«
Reply #19 on:
April 04, 2010, 06:03:55 PM »
Good points, thanks.
I look forward to being titled soon
Ready for comments again.
Thaelel
«
Last Edit: April 04, 2010, 07:23:26 PM by Thaelel Swordmar
»
Logged
"Victory is reserved for those who are willing to pay its price."
- Sun Tzu
"Without Knowledge, Skill cannot be focused. Without Skill, Strength cannot be brought to bear and without Strength, Knowledge may not be applied."
-Alexander the Great
Thaelel Swordmar
Path Burner
Deklitch Hardin
Truth Seeker
Approved Character
Offline
Gender:
Posts: 1536
Human, Erpheronian
Re: Thaelel Swordmar / Erpheronian / Mercenary
«
Reply #20 on:
April 06, 2010, 07:05:03 PM »
Hi Thaelel,
I've just got one request for you before giving you a first approval.
Would you mind just indicating in your history when the incident with his friend and the water poisoning took place. I suspect it was in early childhood, but a clarification on that would be handy.
If you do that quickly, I should be able to give the first approval tonight!
I don't mean word for word ... even something like, it was during this time that his friend __________, drowned in the water and Thaelel picked up his life-long fear of water.
Apart from that, it looks great! Thanks for your work on it and for your commenting on other CDs.
Dek
Logged
Seeking the truth, whatever the cost! -
Deklitch Hardin
, Elf Friend
Thaelel Swordmar
Path Burner
Approved Character
Offline
Posts: 356
Human, Erpheronian
Re: Thaelel Swordmar / Erpheronian / Mercenary
«
Reply #21 on:
April 06, 2010, 07:25:41 PM »
Thanks so much for your help Dek, I hope this CD satisfies your needs now that the changes have been made in
orange.
I can't wait to start RPing!
Logged
"Victory is reserved for those who are willing to pay its price."
- Sun Tzu
"Without Knowledge, Skill cannot be focused. Without Skill, Strength cannot be brought to bear and without Strength, Knowledge may not be applied."
-Alexander the Great
Thaelel Swordmar
Path Burner
Deklitch Hardin
Truth Seeker
Approved Character
Offline
Gender:
Posts: 1536
Human, Erpheronian
Re: Thaelel Swordmar / Erpheronian / Mercenary
«
Reply #22 on:
April 06, 2010, 07:28:10 PM »
Yes it does ... there you go ... a
First Approval
from me. Sorry that the past few days took so long before it was approved.
Logged
Seeking the truth, whatever the cost! -
Deklitch Hardin
, Elf Friend
Thaelel Swordmar
Path Burner
Approved Character
Offline
Posts: 356
Human, Erpheronian
Re: Thaelel Swordmar / Erpheronian / Mercenary
«
Reply #23 on:
April 06, 2010, 07:50:51 PM »
Thanks again
By the way, can anyone give me the link to my CD? In my browser (safari) it says the link is
http://www.santharia.com/startup_new/mainframe.htm
, but that just goes to the home page.
Thaelel
Logged
"Victory is reserved for those who are willing to pay its price."
- Sun Tzu
"Without Knowledge, Skill cannot be focused. Without Skill, Strength cannot be brought to bear and without Strength, Knowledge may not be applied."
-Alexander the Great
Thaelel Swordmar
Path Burner
Malexia Vendu
Tainted Flame
Offline
Posts: 426
Human, Centoraurian
Re: Thaelel Swordmar / Erpheronian / Mercenary
«
Reply #24 on:
April 06, 2010, 08:08:31 PM »
I still have one small issue before a second approval, Thalael.
1. in addition to speaking Tharian, you also speak, read and write Kuglimz. You would need alot of study time to learn a second language unless you were taught since you were a child. Growing up learning two languages I can understand, but as an adult it would take longer. Just because you had a grandmother who knew Kuglimz from servants, did she know enough to speak and read and write it with proficiency? My suggestion is that you can speak it and possibly read enough to get by. Your strength seems to think you know the language very well and that would be hard unless you live in the Kuglimz lands. Keep this strength a bit lesser for better balance.
Logged
...
Tainted Flame
Thaelel Swordmar
Path Burner
Approved Character
Offline
Posts: 356
Human, Erpheronian
Re: Thaelel Swordmar / Erpheronian / Mercenary
«
Reply #25 on:
April 06, 2010, 09:44:29 PM »
Yes, Thaelel did learn to speak it as a child, as he saw his grandfather often and he would only speak Kuglimz to Thaelel. But since his early teens, he hasn't spoken it at all, so he is a bit rusty. I think I'll put that in the history section, also in
orange.
Oh, by the way, I've decided to change my title from Battle-turner (which I don't think makes sense) to Path Burner, which is inscribed on his sword. (I can't find the word for path in the Styrásh dictionary, so if someone could help me with that, I'd be grateful)
«
Last Edit: April 06, 2010, 11:25:25 PM by Thaelel Swordmar
»
Logged
"Victory is reserved for those who are willing to pay its price."
- Sun Tzu
"Without Knowledge, Skill cannot be focused. Without Skill, Strength cannot be brought to bear and without Strength, Knowledge may not be applied."
-Alexander the Great
Thaelel Swordmar
Path Burner
Malexia Vendu
Tainted Flame
Offline
Posts: 426
Human, Centoraurian
Re: Thaelel Swordmar / Erpheronian / Mercenary
«
Reply #26 on:
April 07, 2010, 02:44:23 AM »
Much better! Great job on the CD, Thaelel. You have been on of the most patient and dedicated people so far. You've taken advice and comments very well which is always nice to see.
Here is a well deserved
Second Approval!
An Admin will be along shortly to title you. As for your Styrash name...I am afraid I am no expert. Would you like me to ask the Dev Board? We have some good people there who can help.
"Here is a link to your CD"
. Just change the wording in the apostrophes.
«
Last Edit: April 07, 2010, 02:46:55 AM by Malexia Vendu
»
Logged
...
Tainted Flame
Thaelel Swordmar
Path Burner
Approved Character
Offline
Posts: 356
Human, Erpheronian
Re: Thaelel Swordmar / Erpheronian / Mercenary
«
Reply #27 on:
April 07, 2010, 02:48:21 AM »
Thank you so much to everyone who helped me, especially the mods.
As for the Styrash name, I would be grateful if you could ask someone on the Dev board. Thanks again!
Logged
"Victory is reserved for those who are willing to pay its price."
- Sun Tzu
"Without Knowledge, Skill cannot be focused. Without Skill, Strength cannot be brought to bear and without Strength, Knowledge may not be applied."
-Alexander the Great
Thaelel Swordmar
Path Burner
Altario Shialt-eck-Gorrin
Adventurer
Offline
Gender:
Posts: 7034
Human, Remusian
Re: Thaelel Swordmar / Erpheronian / Mercenary
«
Reply #28 on:
April 07, 2010, 03:17:09 AM »
Titled and Archived.
Logged
Favorite Cartoon Quotes
"It was a dark and stormy night." - Snoopy
"Ack!" - Bill the Cat
"I did not have sex with that woman, Monica Lewinski." - President Bill Clinton
My Character can be viewed @
Angelina Jolie's house
. But knock first, in case I'm in my underwear.
Altario Shialt-eck-Gorrin
Adventurer
Offline
Gender:
Posts: 7034
Human, Remusian
Re: Thaelel Swordmar / Erpheronian / Mercenary
«
Reply #29 on:
April 07, 2010, 03:24:55 AM »
Back for colour removal.
Logged
Favorite Cartoon Quotes
"It was a dark and stormy night." - Snoopy
"Ack!" - Bill the Cat
"I did not have sex with that woman, Monica Lewinski." - President Bill Clinton
My Character can be viewed @
Angelina Jolie's house
. But knock first, in case I'm in my underwear.
Pages:
1
[
2
]
3
Go Up
Adventures of Caelereth
 
Forum
 
Archives
 
Approved Characters Archive
 
Approved Characters 2010
 
Thaelel Swordmar / Erpheronian / Mercenary
Jump to:
Please select a destination:
-----------------------------
Help Boards
-----------------------------
=> RPG Guide
=> Roleplaying Tutorial
=> General Questions and Answers
=> Administrative Questions and Announcements
-----------------------------
Character and Story Creation
-----------------------------
=> Character Descriptions
=> Roleplay Questions and Story Creation
-----------------------------
Main Out Of Character Area
-----------------------------
=> Player Lounge
=> General Out of Character Discussions
===> 2012 Santharian Awards
=> Santharian Association of Artisans
-----------------------------
Active Stories
-----------------------------
=> Home Sweet Home
===> Home Forums
=====> Urimpaar, Family Estate of the Shialt-eck-Gorrins
=====> Foraste's House
=====> Ohénmár's Treehouse
=====> Diti Cloths and Keepsakes
=====> Scriabin's Manor of Music
=====> The last song of High Queen Mseríá (Azalahn's Inn)
=====> The Manticore's Herbarium
=====> Three Arcs Keep (The Mallister's Manse)
=====> Deklitch's Black Butterfly Rover Camp
=====> Deklitch's Home Among the Arthyrón
=====> The Regal Rusik
===> Home Creation Forum
=> The Thirsty Herald
=> One on One
=> SW IV- God, Wars and Heroes
===> SW IV: The Fourth Sarvonian War
=> Destiny
-----------------------------
Archived Spotlight
-----------------------------
=> The Dead Gods Book
-----------------------------
Create the Moment
-----------------------------
=> Create the Moment
-----------------------------
Archives
-----------------------------
=> Approved Characters Archive
===> Approved Characters 2002
===> Approved Characters 2003
===> Approved Characters 2004
===> Approved Characters 2005
===> Approved Characters 2006
===> Approved Characters 2007
===> Approved Characters 2008
===> Approved Characters 2009
===> Approved Characters 2010
===> Approved Characters 2011
===> Approved Characters 2012
===> Approved Characters 2013
===> Approved Characters 2014
===> Approved Characters 2015
=> Approved Characters Archive II
===> 2005 Character Archives
=> RPG Story Archive
===> The Palace
===> Frozen Darkness
===> The City of Voldar
===> Twilight
===> Dawn of War
===> Shadows at Midnight
===> The Tale of Nalaere
===> Entrapped Elements
===> The Journey
===> In The Eyes of Her Son
===> The World Beyond
===> Search for the Fire Gem
===> War of the Fallen
===> Redemption
===> Awaking in Helente
===> Old RPG Stories Archive
===> Nyermersys Archive
=====> Nyermersys, the City of Death
===> Bardavos Archive
===> Death's Invitation
===> The Ulvur's Cry
===> In Search of a Druid
===> The Kann Kemruhnt
===> Thalambath's Heart
===> Jovloff's Gold
===> Sins of the Ancestor
===> An Adventure in Black
===> Ghosts of Strata
===> Bardavos, the City of Artists
=> Tavern Archives
===> The Fifty-Five Word Challenge
=====> Fifty-Five Challenge Winners
===> The Sarvonian Chronicle
Search
Advanced search
Recent Posts
New here!!
by
abigailjordan
[February 10, 2022, 09:09:05 PM]
Magic question.
by
abigailjordan
[February 10, 2022, 09:07:54 PM]
Who are all here and wish to role play with me?
by
Carilinaa
[July 30, 2021, 06:03:43 PM]
Little Red Riding Hood
by
Carilinaa
[July 30, 2021, 06:03:25 PM]
The Dragon's Quest
by
Carilinaa
[July 30, 2021, 06:01:01 PM]
A rabbit hole like no other.
by
Mallorix Volinkov
[February 12, 2021, 07:16:33 AM]
Enian Piper / Caltharian / Flautist
by
JarvisDashiell
[December 13, 2020, 12:16:51 AM]
I am the new member
by
JarvisDashiell
[December 13, 2020, 12:16:21 AM]
What are you listening to?
by
Jillvalen
[October 05, 2020, 02:58:40 PM]
There are ghostwriters behind the success of many famous books,
by
karla12
[March 19, 2020, 03:47:44 AM]
Stats
Members
Total Members: 2849
Latest:
abigailjordan
Stats
Total Posts: 214569
Total Topics: 8052
Online Today: 33
Online Ever: 216
(November 30, 2006, 09:08:03 AM)
Users Online
Users: 0
Guests: 30
Total: 30