Thaelel Swordmar / Erpheronian / Mercenary

Quote from: Malexia Vendu on April 04, 2010, 02:24:20 AM

1. Please explain in your history how a Kuglimz would be south of the Tandala region. The Kuglimz people are mainly strictly Northern folk and would be unlikely you would find one in South Sarvonia.

I assume you mean the servants. They were there because in Kuglim lands they were poor and came to Voldar seeking a new life. They became servants to Thaelel's grandfather

2. Explain in your history how you learned the Kuglimz language. See point one above.

That is in my strengths section

3. As a young warrior, it would be very unlikely you would be able to defeat a raid of 12 orcs. You are not super human (nor are you Aragorn...they stuff only happens in movies! buck

). Realistically, you would defeat maybe 3 orcs by yourself, not 12.

Good point. I will make it 6

4. There are no orcs in Southern Sarvonia except the Volkek and they are peaceful and live far away in Ximax. Most orcen tribes live in North Sarvonia across impassable mountains known as the Tandalas. You could have encountered goblins from the Tandalas on a raiding party though.

Another good point. I will probably make it human bandits

5. How did you learn a little bit of Styrash? You would have to be very good friends with an elf who would teach you. Humans and elves do not encounter each other very often. More likely, you encountered a half-elf who knew some Styrash. Half-elves are rare, but more likely seen among humans.

He learned it from his father who learned it from his father who learned it from the elven smith mentioned in the section about Efér'scál'swordmar

6. Explain in your history why you are afraid of water. It is a good weakness, but please tell us what happened that made you afraid. Were you in a ship wreck as a child? Did you almost drown?

Hydrophobia is irrational, so there is no real need for a reason. However, I may put in something about him and his best friend drinking from an unclean water hole, getting poisoning and the friend dying, with Thaelel only just pulling through

7. Your sword seems very valuable and it is unlikely that a warrior would use a family heirloom in regular battle. I suggest making the sword a little less exotic (and not elven).

It is an heirloom because it is passed down from generation to generation.That does not mean it is a fragile old thing. It is purpose-built for battle, and Thaelel makes use of it.

Thanks for the points. I will address them.

Thaelel