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Below is a summary on the posticons used for the character description approval process. The posticon of the first post should always be edited according to the current state of completion of the character description (either by the player, a Moderator or an Administrator).
1) PLAYER - CD is incomplete. Use this posticon if you have not finished your CD.  4) MODERATOR - CD has been approved by one moderator. A second mod's approval is needed.
 2) PLAYER - CD is completed. Use this if you have finished working on your CD.  5) MODERATOR - CD has been approved by two moderators. An Administrator should soon take care of the titling.
 3) MODERATOR - An expert's opinion is needed. The specific field in which the expert's help is needed should be added to the title.  6) ADMINISTRATOR - An administrator has titled the character, and the thread will soon be moved to the CD Archives.
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Author Topic: K'weepén / Half-Elf Half-Mershaq / Butler  (Read 970 times)
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
Barthelago Baradathlin
New Santharian

Offline Offline

Posts: 2

Feyfolk, Aellenrhim & Erpheronian

« on: May 23, 2010, 01:28:10 PM »

Name Mister K'weepén
Gender Mostly male. Mostly.
Age Old dude, dude
Races & Tribes
½ Diorye'oleal Elf
½ Twilight Foul Merfolk
½ Shaquille O'Neal
(and 100% Pretty Cool)
Occupation Landlord, Butler, Personal Snake Handler and Pickle Farmer; and a pretty good dentist!
Title When titled Mister K'weepén would like to be "The Funk"


Overview The dark, dripping figure who demands to be called Mister K'weepén is one of the least understood and most feared local legends of the Santharian capital of New-Santhala. He is known to be a Master Illusionist, spoken of as a Vampire Landlord and most disturbing of all ... is supposedly the Keeper of the Kauctopeus and the Wielder of the Magical Cactus known as Pickle Surprise. He can often be found floating above slum street corners, smoking a bundle of burning sticks and emanating an unspeakably sour odor.

Appearance It is difficult to determine K'weepén's height or weight as his badly misshapen feet no longer touch the ground. He floats through the air much like his swamphag mother would swim, his badly hunched back held far aloft and his limp-wristed hands swinging below. These hands are as vestigial as his feet, unused for ages due to lack of need. What little can be seen of K'weepén's flesh beneath his (very stylish) leather coat is a pale sickly green, clinging to his bones closely. Indeed, the great majority of his mass is concentrated in the humongous hunch of his back, which serves as a perch for his familiar.

His face is strangely elongated, his eyes deeply sunken but usually quite cheerful and excited – fitting accompaniment for his fat-lipped smile. His constant expression (never ever changes? Never ever changes.) is one of moderate interest, analyzing and assessing whatever he happens to be floating toward at a modest speed. Behind the grinning red worm lips are several rows of cone-shaped teeth, far too many in number to be seen by a human without that human evacuating their bowels involuntarily. What can be seen of K'weepén's hair is all together in cords resembling gnarled tree roots, a result of the ooze and oils it has soaked in for centuries.

Clearly, K'weepén is either unwilling or unable to control his appearance, resigning himself to be feared by any and all that bump into him (with their heads, cause he floats) … right? WRONG. All of this is carefully maintained, but no feature as much as his mustache. Daily, it is cloven so closely to the skin as to resemble a mere semi-circular shadow above his pair-of-mating-worms like mouth. A final note on the face: K'weepén is able to open his mouth EXTREMELY WIDE. He regularly feeds on small animals like cats, dogs, or pigs whole, and when not eating it is inevitably stuffed with a foul smelling flaming faggot of sticks.

Do not think for so much as the briefest of moments that you would be able to discern the individual odor of burning narcotic coated wood, however – for wafting about K'weepén is a myriad of scandalous scents. The worst without compare is that which follows him, evidently issuing from what K'weepén refers to as his “downstairs mix-up” forming an invisible cloud and trail of horror beneath and behind him. Strangely, one must be very close to K'weepén to detect this sourest of smells, so it must be very highly concentrated. The strong scent of pickles also surrounds the floating foppish fellow, and this can be noted from a great distance away.

Personality Mostly harmless.

Mister K'weepén is a nice, polite, pretty chill guy. He loves parties and being the center of attention at them, especially if the rest of the party goers brought party torches and party pitchforks. He is a very social creature, and speaks softly but with confidence and authority despite his minor speech impediment. He is always happy to produce a friend's favorite odor or even a snack. Mister K'weepén is very proud of his ability to cook and make pickles without the use of his hands (as he whispers “Jackpot! No hands!”) and will speak about pickles incessantly, however listeners never get bored by this because they are too busy being freaking terrified of him.

Despite his perfectly healthy self confidence, Mister K'weepén is always interested in what others think of him. He does not tolerate mistruths or exaggerations in these situations, and one of few things that can make him whip out his Pickle Surprise is when he perceives someone is lying to avoid hurting his feelings. As far as romance goes, if Mister K'weepén falls for you – there is no hope of escape. He enters the dimension known as the Songscape, opens his mouth and begins spitting the illest rhymes while slapping a bass guitar fast and loose like some sort of delirious funky priest.

1)   OH GOD WHAT IS THAT THING? Overall hideousness.
2)   Kweep with me, as I hover through the hood. This guy can float, son. Impervious to scary mice.
3)   The Sandwich Chef. He took home economics. He got an A+. He made a crumble. Teacher said it was the best one.
4)   Ability to see around corners. He can see around corners.
5)   He's everything I need. See the Familiar section, would you kindly?
6)   It's gonna hurt you. See the Magical Weapon section, would you kindly?

1)   Stwike him Centwurion! Vewy Woughly! Mister K'weepén has a speech impediment caused by his gigantic mouth. R's are W's. This really should be bad enough to be his only weakness, but I made some more cause I'm a good player.
2)   SMOKING IS STUPID! Mister K'weepén is a smoker, and cannot float around in the non-smoking sections of taverns.
3)   He thinks those “Twilight” books are terrible. Mister K'weepén suffers from the Aramyrian Disease. And drinks blood. He caught it through exchange of bodily fluids with a dark elf member of the Blood Eye Cult. Don't think about it too hard. For your own good. I'm begging you. Also he can't get along with girls. But he does. Cause he makes them.

He only reveals his story to those he loves. He doesn’t love you. Do you love him? I don’t think it’s meant to be.

The Kauctopeus is a rare and mysterious creature, rumored to have fallen from outer freakin’ space. He perches on Mister K'weepén’s back hump and uses his noodley appendages as the hands his friend has lost all use of. The Kauctopeus is a loyal Santhran Violet in hue and mostly spherical - puffy and plush to the touch. At the tips of his tentacles are itty bitty orifices that together with his host’s peculiar perforations allow the pair to emit all sorts of emissions and produce almost any foul odor imaginable. Also other stuff. Taking requests!

Magical Weapon
Obtained last week from the powerful Sage Martin Thunder in an epic wizard’s duel, the magical mithril cactus known as Pickle Surprise is among the most feared sights in Southern Sarvonia. Immense and prickly, it can be safely concealed when not in use so that you never see it coming.
« Last Edit: June 01, 2010, 09:17:57 PM by Malexia Vendu » Logged
Thaelel Swordmar
Path Burner
Approved Character
Offline Offline

Posts: 356

Human, Erpheronian

« Reply #1 on: May 23, 2010, 07:05:55 PM »

Please, look at this and this.

"Victory is reserved for those who are willing to pay its price."
- Sun Tzu

"Without Knowledge, Skill cannot be focused. Without Skill, Strength cannot be brought to bear and without Strength, Knowledge may not be applied."  
 -Alexander the Great

Thaelel Swordmar
Path Burner
Barthelago Baradathlin
New Santharian

Offline Offline

Posts: 2

Feyfolk, Aellenrhim & Erpheronian

« Reply #2 on: May 23, 2010, 07:30:55 PM »

I thank you kindly for your comment, lad. I assure you that the link locations you have directed me toward have been perused previously, and I feel there is no need to do so again. Now that we've put that out of the way we can move onto more important things, like titling my character.  graph
Thaelel Swordmar
Path Burner
Approved Character
Offline Offline

Posts: 356

Human, Erpheronian

« Reply #3 on: May 23, 2010, 08:30:06 PM »

Umm... If you've already looked at them, then why does your character have a magical weapon? And why does his heritage add up to 1½ people? And why does he float? And why does the portrait look nothing like your appearance section? And why haven't you split up the appearance section into different headings? And why is he wearing futuristic clothes in your portrait? And why is your familiar not from Santharia? And why haven't you given a history section when it specifically says that even if your character has amnesia you still have to put his history?

Sorry if that seems a bit harsh, but I think your character does need a lot of work.

"Victory is reserved for those who are willing to pay its price."
- Sun Tzu

"Without Knowledge, Skill cannot be focused. Without Skill, Strength cannot be brought to bear and without Strength, Knowledge may not be applied."  
 -Alexander the Great

Thaelel Swordmar
Path Burner
Deklitch Hardin
Truth Seeker
Approved Character
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 1536

Human, Erpheronian

« Reply #4 on: May 24, 2010, 02:11:46 AM »

I would have to agree with Thaelel,

As your character stands, there is no way it is going to get approved and titled.

I suspect I know exactly who you are, and we have enough people here trying their hardest to get approved to spend time on something like this.


Seeking the truth, whatever the cost! - Deklitch Hardin, Elf Friend
Altario Shialt-eck-Gorrin
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 7033

Human, Remusian

« Reply #5 on: May 24, 2010, 03:03:06 AM »


This is obviously a joke CD, and I recommend no time be spent commenting on it.

Might be good for a chuckle if you wish to read.

Favorite Cartoon Quotes
"It was a dark and stormy night."  - Snoopy
"Ack!" - Bill the Cat
"I did not have sex with that woman, Monica Lewinski." - President Bill Clinton

My Character can be viewed @Angelina Jolie's house.  But knock first, in case I'm in my underwear.
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