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Author Topic: James Seabird/Avennorian/Seafaring Adventurer  (Read 7086 times)
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Alexandre Scriabin
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« Reply #15 on: July 23, 2010, 03:24:46 AM »

Quote
James can swim, a surprisingly rare gift among sailors.

Care to explain? How can you be a sailor who doesn't know how to swim?
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« Reply #16 on: July 23, 2010, 03:28:16 AM »

Quote
James can read. As a man of the sea James doesn't have much use for reading, but he can read a little, though he's better at reading charts than books.

When, where, and how did he learn to read? It seems plausible, but there needs to be an explanation, seeing as he has lived as sea since he was 6. Maybe a crew mate or captain taught him?

Either that, or he may just have the reading level of a six year old. That would be an interesting quirk.

Edit:
Quote
It's bad luck to kill a seabird.
Is it mere coincidence that I went fishing and crabbing just a week ago, and killed a seabird? I had just cast my bait out, and the seagull dove in after it. He swallowed the hook, and started shaking his head, so I cut my line.
« Last Edit: July 23, 2010, 03:41:00 AM by Alexandre Scriabin » Logged

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James Seabird
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« Reply #17 on: July 23, 2010, 10:57:01 AM »

I certainly will elaborate on the reading, but as for the swimming, I don't fully understand either but many old time sailors did not know how to swim. I think the mentality was what's the point? Thats what I have a boat for. It does seem strange but thats how it is.

I hope for your sake it was a kind or reasonable soul that you killed. Seabirds are said to be the souls of sailors who have died at sea.
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James Seabird

The only way you'll ever know how far you can go is to run.
Alexandre Scriabin
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« Reply #18 on: July 24, 2010, 02:53:05 PM »

My friend, I'd like to remind you that when you are working on something, we request that you change the message icon of your CD to the pencil icon.

Thank you.
« Last Edit: July 24, 2010, 02:54:40 PM by Alexandre Scriabin » Logged

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« Reply #19 on: July 27, 2010, 09:01:13 PM »

Hello James! I have just a few little comments for you, hope they help :) They'll be in teal

Name: James Seabird

Gender: Male

Age:17

Race: Human

Tribe: Avennorian

Occupation: Deckhand

Title: The Runaway Pirate

Hair color: Wavy Eophran Brown Hair

Eye Color: Baveras’ eye

Height: one ped, two fores, 1 palmspan and 3 nailbreadths

Weight: 1 Pygge, 5 Hebs, 2 Ods, and 4 Mut

Physical Appearance: James is tanned from constant sun exposure on the deck of a ship, he has a lanky build, and he’s flexible, yet strong as any sailor should be. He has sharp features and an intelligent face. He has a bright smile placed in a sun kissed face. He also bears a tattoo of a gull, wings spread, on the back of his left hand near his wrist. On his back are scars from when he was beaten and whipped as a slave.

Clothing: His clothing is simple; it’s made of cheap material and is made for maneuverability. It bears many signs of being worn on the sea. He has a pair of boots that have a hollowed out watertight heel, in which he stores his money and other belongings. He's worn gloves with the fingers cut off ever since he ran away from pirates to hide his tattoo.

Personality: James is mentally strong and clever young man, who likes an adventurous seaward life. He has more heart than he is normally willing to show to anyone. He puts the well being of others over his own, discreetly, so people will believe him to be tougher than he really is. He has no real desire for treasure or material goods but instead for adventure. He is a good actor and that’s why he’s still alive, despite the different crews he’s worked with. He acts like he's several years older than he is, pretending to be a sea worn sailor with a cruel mind and temper. He tries to pretend that he doesn't care about anyone but himself, but often his true colors shine through. He’s quick on his feet and has a bright personality beneath the façade, those who know him, normally, easily take a liking to him. He doesn't like people who don't pull their weight, as he's been forced to do all his life, but he is sympathetic to those who can't pull much weight at all, i.e. children, the elderly, sick or wounded people. If your not doing your fair share then he's scathing and rude with his comments. He's good at delegating work fairly among groups of people.

Strengths:
James is fast. In the rigging, on the ground, in the water, climbing up and down he moves as fast as possible. His speed is part of what keeps him alive in a fight. He can maneuver the rigging of any ship with great ease, seeming more to fly than to climb, which is where he got his name.

James can swim, a surprisingly rare gift among sailors.

James is well versed in using the Hrkje Whip. He learned the basics when he sailed with pirates. It seemed to come naturally to him and he became quite good using it to disarm and incapacitate crews being raided. Since then he has become even better with the weapon through seeing and working with others who use it in other crews as well as a lot of practice.

James can also use a sling with some proficiency and has decent accuracy from up to 12 peds away.

James has a bright personality that makes him quite likable and he gets along well with others. He’s learned from experience, if you don’t act as a team on a ship then you won't be acting as anything for long. Doesn't this contradict his pretense of having a 'cruel mind and temper'? Either he does this and it is not easy to get close enough to like him until some time has passed, or he is likeable from the first but then he doesn't show a cruel mind. The same contradiction can be found in the personality section. It seems odd that he should both show a cruel mind and be likeable at the same time.

James has a large amount of nautical knowledge and can manage almost any position on a ship with ease. He can navigate a ship as well as haul the proper rigging and tie the proper knots. James has never been given much authority on a ship and has never led a crew himself or done some of the more responsible jobs but those jobs which he has not done he knows how to do. Though he also knows that knowing and doing are two very different things.

James is strong. His life at sea tugging ropes, hauling rigging, carrying barrels has left him as strong as any sailor should be.

James can read. As a man of the sea James doesn't have much use for reading, but he can read a little, though he's better at reading charts than books.

James can see really well in the dark. Onboard a ship if you're sailing blind then you're in big trouble. So James has often found himself in the crows nest because of his ability to see long distances even by the dim torchlight aboard his vessel.

Weaknesses:
James is superstitious like most sailors, he can be either overly frightened because of sailors' yarns or overly confident bordering on foolhardy because of his desire for adventure and belief of these tales.

James is overly adventurous and curious, often getting himself into trouble because of his need to satisfy his curiosity.

James is very impatient, if something isn’t happening as fast as he would like it to he’ll often get irritable. The exception being that he is not impatient for voyages or adventures to end or for destinations to arrive.

James has a sharp tongue and can often talk his way into trouble with a smart remark. And for once James is not quick…to apologize.
 
James knows nothing of inland routes. Having been raised on the sea James has never needed to go far inland and because of this, all he knows about roads and trails inland are only versions talked about by villagers on land, normally in fishing villages.

James is very confused around women. As James grew up onboard a ship with a male captain and a nearly all man crew, as well as being a teenager he is very curious about women. He knows very little about them aside from some of them might gut you. He's had many bad experiences with the one woman onboard crew with the pirates. James has no idea how to act and often comes across as just plain stupid around women. Women amaze and confuse him more than almost anything else. He holds no delusions of what they are capable of (i.e. stabbing you in the back or in the front, with a knife) but is all the more confused when one appears kind. I'd be interested to hear more about this one pirate woman in the History section, just to help flesh this character out a little.

James is scared of horses. James is rarely on land for long periods of time so large, land creatures make him curious and more than a little wary. James is scared of horses in particular, as they are large animals with strong legs and teeth that could easily step on and kill you. Since he spends most of his time at sea, how is this a weakness?

James fears large fires. Because he has spent his life on sea there normally aren't big fires, and if there are then there's normally trouble. Fire makes him careful if it's much bigger than a torch, and given his reputation for looking before he leaps, being careful means he's more than a little scared.


History: James was born to a family made up of a fisherman and his wife, who lived on the coast of the Adanian Sea, near Ciosa. From his father he learned how to sail and guide a ship, as well as swim, at an early age. James loved his life of the sea and took to it right away. By age five he knew everything there was to know about the small fishing vessel his father used, though he was too small to sail it himself. He just seemed to absorb any information about the sea and anything having to do with it. James loved his parents and his life but always seemed to be getting into trouble. He often wandered off alone, leaving his mother quite concerned as to where he was, but he would always return after a day of mischief and adventuring. The neighbors would often find, after these excursions, knots would appear in their fishing nets as if someone was practicing tying, as well as some fish or shells discovered on their doorsteps.

When James was 6, he was kidnapped by pirates who killed his parents and sold him to be a slave aboard a ship. we don't really have actual slavery in Santharia. He could have been kidnapped by this Captain Gwinn himself, who saw the use of some cheap labour, without him actually being a slave? (though little better of course) The captain he was sold to was named Captain Gwinn, a dreaded marauder of the coasts. James spent most of his life aboard the ship. Life as a slave, at first was grueling, hard work with its fair share of beatings and forced labor, but soon the captain came to realize James’ abilities and knowledge of the seas. Quickly, James became more than just a slave for cheap labor, and he became more of Gwinn's favorite pet. As he grew he came to be part of the crew and not just a slave boy. He learned how to use the whip from the different members of the crew and became quite skilled he also learned more about a life at sea and how all the different jobs work. His years at sea made him strong and kept him in shape but due to his teenage years his is a very scrawny person but as he is still a teenager, he is scrawny compared to his fellow sailors. You say the same thing twice here :)

Yet despite all his good treatment James knew he was still just a glorified slave and would never truly be free. So after turning sixteen, when the crew had landed under false colors, to replenish supplies and do a little shady business, James secretly jumped ship and joined another crew. Since then he has traveled with many different crews, on multiple different voyages always seeking adventure and on the run from his former master. Captain Gwinn has been searching for James ever since he ran. In just one year he joins several different ships? Considering that ship travels usually last at least a couple of months, if not more than a year, in medieval times, I'd keep it to at the most two different crews/ships, or have him be a little bit older.

Weapons: James fights with a Hrkje Whip that he made himself, for his 12th birthday, which carries with him at all times as sash around him. James also carries a sling, which was a gift from his father when he was a boy, that he ties around his neck so it appears to be a necklace. Making weapons isn't at all an easy thing to do, and weaponmakers  usually spend years learning how to make good weapons. How did a 12-year-old manage to make a whip? This is something that would need to be addressed in the History section.

Belongings: James does not carry many belongings with him, as he owns very little. He does have a small pouch in which he carries a few coins at all times, he also has a bracelet that belonged to his mother that he wears.


There. I hope I helped a little bit :) Please change your icon to the pencil until you have addressed these comments :)
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Irid al'Menie
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« Reply #20 on: July 29, 2010, 06:05:25 AM »

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James Seabird
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« Reply #21 on: August 04, 2010, 07:22:52 AM »

When I wrote the weakness about women. I intended the comment about the woman to be a bit of a joke. I'm not fully sure what her story would be. Though I have one idea. Those familiar with the story of Joseph from the Bible would think of the part about Potiphar's wife. Where she tries to seduce Joseph, he refuses and runs away, but later she blames Joseph for attempting to rape her and Potiphar has him thrown in prison. Though I feel that would corrupt the character of James a little and give Gwinn less incentive to go after him.

Any other sort of interactions you could think of would be appreciated.

Also in the way of slavery, would James still be considered/called a slave, just not sold as one? Or would that still be more than Santharia has?

EDIT: In reference to the comment of the whip, I was under the impression that that kind of whip was merely a piece of rope with a few strategically placed knots and in no way difficult to design or create if you knew the proper knots.
« Last Edit: August 04, 2010, 08:47:45 AM by James Seabird » Logged

James Seabird

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« Reply #22 on: August 04, 2010, 02:25:17 PM »

Re: slavery, I'd say more the other way around, he might be 'sold' (though they wouldn't call it that) but they wouldn't call him a slave.

Re: the woman, I'll think about that and get back to you when I have more time ;)

Re: the whip, sorry, that was me not doing my research properly. However, in that case it'd still be nice to read in the history how he learned the correct knots to make his own whip :)
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Irid al'Menie
James Seabird
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« Reply #23 on: August 05, 2010, 09:29:44 AM »

What would be the most accurate way to refer to him instead of slave? Indentured servant, Forced labor, cheap work, or something else I can't think of right now?

Any thoughts are greatly appreciated.

I'll be sure to add something.

EDIT: I did a bunch of shuffling of the personality section and added a little. It now goes more that James will act like the seaworn pirate to strangers but anyone who takes time to get to know him will find he is a much kinder person.

I don't want to add all the changes just yet until I've addressed all the comments. Please feel free to give advice on anything anyway.
« Last Edit: August 05, 2010, 09:50:32 AM by James Seabird » Logged

James Seabird

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Alexandre Scriabin
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« Reply #24 on: August 06, 2010, 05:38:53 AM »

I believe what she meant is that they merely call him by name, not that he has any title. For formalities sake I guess it would be best for you yourself to think of him as an indentured servant.
« Last Edit: August 06, 2010, 05:39:11 AM by Alexandre Scriabin » Logged

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James Seabird
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« Reply #25 on: August 06, 2010, 08:40:58 AM »

I have touched on all the comments except for those pertaining to the woman. I'll have something on that eventually. In the meantime please give your comments.
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James Seabird

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Leif Terskun
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« Reply #26 on: August 06, 2010, 05:05:54 PM »

Hey James!

Good to see that you are getting some good comments here. Just to clarify, the Hrkje uses knots that all sailors would be familiar with anyway, and it would be pretty hard for James not to know how to make one. The original whop (according to legend) was a piece of rigging that had been slashed, and all sailors know how to tie the strong knots used for such a vital part of the ship. The central knot is that same knot still (see here).

On a style note, it might be nice to describe James's fighting style. Does he use the more subtle methods of disarming or batter his opponent with the heavy knot? Will he throw his enemies with a quick flick of the ropes, or shatter their weapons and throw them overboard? There are many different ways of using the Hrkje, just as there are different styles with swords. Or does he flick at the face with the small knots before striking a powerful blow with his fist into the unprotected gut?

Otherwise, that's all from me.

Leif
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« Reply #27 on: March 18, 2011, 06:54:16 AM »

I've just added a spot about women. It's not spectacular but it will do for now. If I need to I can go back and revise it. I believe I have all the edits in. I fixed a few punctuation and grammatical errors as well. Please any feedback at all is appreciated.
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James Seabird

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« Reply #28 on: March 18, 2011, 08:54:04 PM »

Hi James,

Just a few pointers from my side:

Quote
It's a thin shield though, and anyone who talks to him for a length of time, civilly, for a length of time will see what he’s truly like.

you have "for a length of time" twice.

Quote
James can swim, a surprisingly rare gift among sailors.

How well/far can he swim?

Quote
James can also use a sling with some proficiency and has decent accuracy from up to 12 peds away.
From 12 peds or up to 12 peds? Quite a difference in the meaning there :)

Quote
James can read. As a man of the sea James doesn't have much use for reading, but he can read a little, though he's better at reading charts than books.
When did he learn to read? Was this something captain Gwinn taught his favourite pet?

Quote
James can see really well in the dark. Onboard a ship if you're sailing blind then you're in big trouble. So James has often found himself in the crows nest because of his ability to see long distances, even by the dim torchlight aboard his vessel.
Most ships also wouldn't sail in the night. Pirates, furthermore, have a tendency to stay close to the shore, striking out to a likely target and then returning, as they don't have the room to store provisions for long times out at sea. If I were you, I'd change this strength to him seeing long distances well, just not in the dark :)

Quote
When James was 6, he was kidnapped by pirates, who killed his parents, and kept him to be forced labor aboard a ship.
I think 6 would be pretty young to get kidnapped. I think those pirates would have more trouble than use from him. Perhaps you could change this to when he's 10 or 11, when he's useful to them to climb up in the rigging without falling out?

Lastly, I'd like to read in his history when he got the tattoo done and why that design. I'd think in the life of a 17-year-old that would be a pretty big thing.

I hope this helped and that you get approved soon :)
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Alexandre Scriabin
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« Reply #29 on: March 19, 2011, 10:13:42 AM »

Just give me a prod when you're done integrating these most recent comments. I felt ready to give you an approval even before Irid brought up the swimming and the tattoo, so we should be peachy keen by the time you're done.
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